"The Fight For Unity"

Hi, this is John Ozanting, lead pastor of Evolved Church, and this is the Evolved Church Podcast.

Thanks so much for tuning in.

We hope that you find today's message encouraging and full of hope for wherever you're at.

Last week, Pastor Nicole and I, we were chatting together in the final message of our uh Renovated Life series.

We were talking about the gaps that exist in our relationships.

And just this real sense that God's at work just closing gaps, healing relationships.

And it was a pause to just say, what are the relationships that matter most to me right now?

And what are the gaps that I'm believing for God to close?

And maybe you took some time this week.

Maybe you took some intention.

Maybe you had some difficult conversations.

Maybe you sat in the quiet of your own home and offered forgiveness to somebody that you've been holding uh resentment towards for a long time.

I don't know.

I just know that everything about the last three years has created a lot of pain for the church and for humanity as a whole.

Everything about the last three years has, if there was a gap before COVID, something about COVID made that gap feel heavier or bigger or weightier.

And honestly, we just walked with a lot of people that because of COVID.

You know us, we're not an extremely political church.

Um we actually we're always looking to bring Jesus into the room, not politics.

That's our that's our heart.

But because of the last few years, there's distortion in your home.

There's gaps in family relationships, there's been a lot of pain.

There's things that have taken place that have created division and confusion.

We were uh chatting with a lot of pastors over the last year just about how the distance, just time apart from each other, created distortion.

And that phrase is like brought clarity to like, well, distance creates distortion.

Distance of geography, sure, but distance of face-to-face human relationships.

And we've just walked with so many people that are like, yeah, but we disagreed with each other and so I can't forgive them, or we held different opinions, and so I'm mad at them, or we we chose a different stance, and so there's a gap between us.

I think the whisper of the spirit for the church today is how do we fight for unity?

Did you know that we can be unified in what we agree to be foundational and true in Christ and have opinions where we disagree?

Unity actually has a lot to do with how we choose to disagree and still walk together.

And we've said that from the beginning over the last four years that our prayer for Evolve is that we'd be a unified family, that we would learn to fight for unity, even if we disagree, even when we disagree.

We're having this conversation on leadership levels right now with deacons and elders.

We don't use those terms too much, even though we know who those people are.

Um but like, what does it mean for us to build a culture of unity and to fight for unity and to lay down our lives for this for the sake of Jesus when it comes to a spirit of unity?

So I'm gonna go um eventually, I'm gonna find my way into the book of Judges.

I'm going Old Testament today.

Um, and if you've been around Evolve any length of time, you you're like, oh, he's going Old Testament today.

Um but I think there's a beautiful story there that God wants us to learn from.

But I want to start just by unpacking this word in Psalm 133.

Um, this is how wonderful and pleasant it is when brothers live together in harmony.

And um it's not a stretch by any any means to also add the word sisters there to all the women in the room.

You're like, okay, I'm included.

Yeah, I see you, girls.

I see you.

Actually, I'd like to say how wonderful and pleasant it is when the family lives together in harmony.

For harmony is as precious as the anointing oil that was poured over Aaron's head, that ran down his beard and onto the border of his robe.

You know, my theology has me really believing that when we make a decision to follow Jesus, that the Spirit of Christ, the same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead, dwells within us as sons and daughters.

We carry his presence.

And I also theologically know that when we gather together, two or three or more of us with him in mind, that his spirit is there.

And it doesn't mean that he wasn't with us when we walked in, it's just that when we get together, it's like it's like a magnifying glass on the presence of God.

And maybe I've I've sensed that in the room today.

That's why I'm crying all morning.

Because for me, the Holy Spirit always just feels like I've got you, son.

Perfect peace.

I was reading about what's going on at this college in Asbury, and and and they're describing the presence of God there.

Uh the the re the renewal that's taking place as just like this beautiful peace, just the goodness of God in the room.

And I and I'm my heart, like that's that's what I desire.

And here in Psalm 133, harmony, also, also unity in other translations.

It says it's as precious as the anointing oil.

And then there's this picture of a of a man with a beard and somebody pouring oil on the top of his head.

And this is how they used to anoint priests.

They would pour oil, and the oil would run down the hair and mat the hair and run through the beard.

And if you've ever spilled oil, you know.

I spilled oil at Christmas time all over the kitchen.

I'm still cleaning it up.

That's another story.

But it just gets everywhere, and it just covers and saturates and down the beard and down the garment.

That's the picture in Psalm 133 of the anointing oil, which is a picture of the Holy Spirit.

Okay.

This this picture in Psalm 133, it's actually describing the anointing, the Holy Spirit's covering, and then it and then it has the audacity to say unity matters as much as the anointing of the Holy Spirit.

Are you with me so far?

Harmony is as precious as the anointing oil that was poured over Aaron's head that ran down his beard and on the border of his robe.

It's as refreshing as the dew from Mount Hermon that falls on the mountains of Zion.

There.

Where's there?

Anybody know where there is?

Somebody said it.

Wherever you want it to meet.

It's actually there where the unity is.

There where the unity is, has the Lord pronounced his blessing, even life everlasting.

The Hebrew word here for harmony or unity is community.

It's to be united, together, all together.

We are one body.

We're attached.

Jesus is the head.

And if you see yourself as an elbow or a limb or a finger or a toenail, whatever you see yourself as, you're part of the body.

Jesus is the head.

And when we choose unity, it's like the anointing of the Holy Spirit that covers.

It's like that's where God commands his blessing.

Beautiful passage.

In John 17, Jesus teaches in verse 23 about unity.

I and in them, and you are in me.

And there is this beautiful dissertation of Jesus talking about God's in me and I'm in you and you're in us, and we're all, we carry his presence.

We're together.

And then he goes on to say, may they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me.

And that the world will know that you love them as much as you love me.

And here Jesus teaches again about this being connected to a body and the importance of unity, because it's actually when we choose to fight for unity in the church that the world will know.

The world will know and see that we've been sent and that Jesus was sent by the Father and that we've been sent in Jesus' name and that and that this love defines us.

Unity matters.

The Greek word here for unity is different than another translation, but it means one.

There's a picture of oneness here.

And I love that the the whether it's Hebrew or Greek, there's a picture of together and body and family and attached and oneness.

And so today's big question: as brothers and sisters in God's family, how do we model unity and how do we fight for unity?

In our homes, in our families, in our church, in our workplaces, in our small groups, as we do, as we just experience the shared life together.

Before I get to our Old Testament story today, I also just want to reference a verse in Song of Solomon, chapter two.

And maybe you've heard it before, but it the verse standalone says, catch, and it actually means let us catch, so there's like a sense of togetherness.

Let us catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming.

Now, I believe in like looking at like the literal translation and Song of Solomon in this verse is actually this is actually a um a verse about intimate relationships.

And the little foxes that this verse is talking about is um hungry young men who might try and come and take your lover.

Okay?

True story.

Somebody just sat up in the back.

What was that?

This verse is actually talking about let us catch all of the hungry young men who would try and uh taint your love.

Okay, so um and let's pay attention and let's guard this relationship.

Let's pay attention.

Now, throughout throughout commentaries, throughout biblical history, lots of theologians also unpack this this verse to carry a bit more of a broader um general meaning of in this sort of creative, expressive, poetic book of the Bible.

Um, it's it's okay for us to also say, hey, we need to pay close attention to the little things that have the ability to ruin our love, ruin our unity, ruin our growth, ruin our health.

And so it's it's accurate for us to like remember that this verse is actually talking about um, I'm using the word hungry.

I want to use a different word, but I'm not gonna just um hungry young men who see a good-looking girl, and and we have to catch them so that they don't taint this relationship.

Okay, so that's the literal, that's actually what's being discussed here.

But there's a big picture lean in for the church to say, are we paying attention to the little foxes, the little things that might cripple our love, chip away at our unity.

We've taught often, we said this last week, there are no big things.

There are no big things that destroy your relationship with your son.

There are no big things that cause a marriage to implode.

There are just little things left unchecked and unresolved that grow and grow and grow.

And then suddenly we think we have a big thing, but we've actually just missed out on paying attention to the little things.

I wish I wish somebody taught me this when I was 17.

Because when you're a teenager living in a home in an honor culture where you, you know, I grew up in a home that was like, um, I'm not gonna talk about it.

Mom and dad might be watching.

I love you guys so much.

But when you grow up in a home where you're like, does my voice really matter?

Um, sometimes you sit on little things.

And when you sit on little things long enough, it feels like a big thing.

And that happens in our marriages, and we that was last week's message, the end of the series.

This is a standalone, but it's connected to.

Um and so in 1 Timothy 3, again, just to set the stage just for this one message today, this is not a series.

Um, Paul's teaching a young leader about the church and about healthy leadership in the church.

And uh in a spirit of unity, he says, deacons must be well respected, have integrity.

They must not be heavy drinkers or dishonest with money.

They must be committed to the mystery of the faith now revealed, must live with a clear conscience.

Before they're appointed, let them be closely examined.

If they pass the test, let them serve.

In the same way, their wives must be respected and must not slander others.

And guys, you're not off the hook here.

You know, just as we included the women in Psalms, we're gonna include the men here.

Are you with me?

This isn't just for wives.

This is for it for the family.

They must exercise self-control, they must be faithful in everything they do.

A deacon, we might say leader, must be faithful to their wife and husband, must manage their children and household well.

Those who do well will be rewarded with respect.

This is an interesting passage about leadership within the church.

And this is my um That's why it's important, even in moments of baptism, for me to look at Maley and say, You're a leader.

You're a leader.

Just leadership on your life.

And I would say the same to you.

We disqualify ourselves from leadership pretty quickly in Jesus' church because we always think there's somebody up the ladder.

We always think there's somebody more spiritual, somebody, somebody that went to seminary or Bible college, or somebody that's read more of the Bible than me, and so they're a leader, but I'm not.

And the whisper of the spirit today on the church is how are you leading?

How are you carrying the mission of Jesus forward?

How are you leading in your context right now?

Does that mean we're gonna call you a deacon or an elder?

That's not this conversation.

I'm simply saying, Paul's saying to Timothy, there's a way forward when it comes to those of us that carry the heartbeat of Jesus and carry the spirit of Christ and care about the mission of the church.

There's something on our lives when it comes to how we live that really, really matters.

And so this big question is brothers and sisters in God's family, how do we model unity?

How do we fight for unity?

I simply want to say this: we lean into relationships.

As brothers and sisters in the church, connected, one body, Jesus is the head, we're the body, we're committed to unity.

That means that we have hard conversations one to another.

We recognize that the relationship is the conversation that we're willing to have.

The relationship is the conversation.

If you think, think about it in the context of family or marriage, if you're not willing to have the conversations, what kind of a relationship do you have?

Not much.

The relationship is the conversation.

We give honor to the voices in the room.

We ask questions in faith community, we ask them well, we ask them to the right people.

And this word slander stood out to me as I was reading 1 Timothy chapter 3.

1 Timothy 3 · chapter mention

And that's actually what I want to talk about today.

I've never really preached on slander before.

It doesn't seem like a fun thing to talk about.

Somebody in the yay! What'd you learn?

Pastor talked about slander.

It's good times, right?

Um, but to not slander others is right here in this list that, and and as I was praying, just like there's this beautiful connection between building unity, fighting for unity, and the decision as God's kids to not slander.

That's what I want to talk about for a few minutes.

Here's what I know about slander in a biblical sense.

It means secrecy, it means whispers, it means evil reports, giving out of information in a complaining, evil report kind of way, malicious conversations, gossip.

Here's the fun part.

Slander, that word in First Timothy, the Greek word for the word slander, want to know what it is?

Diabolos.

Who is say it again?

Diabolos.

Say it again.

Lion King, anybody?

Yeah.

To slander, to whisper in secret, to give out evil or complaining reports in secret to facilitate malicious and gossipy conversations is literally the work of the devil.

It's sin.

And I love that we get to speak to this in the room today, not because we're worried about it, but because we care about unity.

Today's big question is brothers and sisters in God's family, how do we model this?

We we fight for unity when we refuse to slander and when we refuse to allow others to slander.

That's big.

We want this in our DNA as a community of faith, from the youngest of us to the oldest in the room.

As your pastors, we're always checking our hearts to make sure that we're having the right conversations with the right people in the right time frame, creating space to be on the receiving end of people's queries and concerns and questions.

It's important to us.

We've talked about this from day one.

You're allowed to ask questions.

And we learned that in four years everybody has questions, but we're still afraid to ask them.

We have questions about faith, we have questions about doctrine, we have questions about theology, we have questions about leadership, but we're afraid to ask them.

And so we go to the side and we ask them over here, and we don't get the right answer.

We ask them over here, and and and these things can happen in us as we say, actually, we need to pay close attention to the little things that have the ability to ruin our love, ruin our unity.

Pay attention to the little things that have the ability to ruin our growth and our health.

There are no big things, there's just little things that we refuse to check and work through and bring to the right people in the right time frame in a spirit of unity and faith.

And so here's this little fox's story from the Bible that I want to just share some ideas about slander, and then we're done.

Judges chapter 15.

Judges 15 · chapter mention

I'm gonna read through it one through 17.

Buckle up, it's a gooder.

It's about Samson.

He starts this later on during the wheat harvest, Samson took a young goat as a present to his wife.

And that's just for if you're thinking about getting married in the room today, I just recommend a nice young goat.

Okay.

Um he said, I'm going into my wife's room to sleep with her, at a boy, but her father wouldn't let him in.

That's that's a problem.

My father-in-law, let me tell you.

Dave Broadfoot, if you're watching today, but uh and then verse two, I truly thought you must hate her, her father explained.

So I gave her in marriage to your best friend.

But look, her younger sister's even more beautiful than marry her instead.

Yeah.

Verse 3, Samson said, This time I cannot be blamed for everything I'm gonna do to you, Philistines.

Then he went out and caught 300 foxes, tied their tails together in pairs, fastened a torch to each pair.

Then he lit the torches and let the foxes run through the grain fields of the Philistines.

He burned all their grain to the ground, including the sheaves and the uncut grain.

He also destroyed their vineyards and olive groves.

I can imagine Samson being like, whoa, no, no, no, stay out of the vineyards.

It was just supposed to be the grain.

But they're foxes and they're running and their tails are on fire.

They don't know any better.

Who did this?

The Philistines demanded.

Samson was the reply.

Because his father-in-law from Timnah gave Samson's wife to be married to his best man.

So the Philistines went and got the woman and her father and burned them to death.

Why didn't they go to Samson?

That's what slander does.

We'll go there.

Hang on.

And then verse 7, because you did this, Samson vowed, I won't rest until I take my revenge on you.

So he attacked the Philistines with great fury and killed many of them, and then he went to live in a cave.

Verse 9, the Philistines retaliated by setting up camp in Judah and spreading out near the town of Lahi.

The men of Judah asked the Philistines, Why are you attacking us?

The Philistines replied, We've come to capture Samson.

We've come to pay him back for what he did to us.

So three thousand men of Judah went down to get Samson at the cave in the rock of Edom.

They said to Samson, Don't you realize the Philistines rule?

What are you doing to us?

But Samson replied, I only did it to them what they did to me.

That's how I imagined it sounding.

But the men of Judah told him, We've come to tie you up and hand you over to the Philistines.

All right, but promise that you won't kill me yourselves.

We'll only tie hand you over, we won't kill you.

So they tied him up with two new ropes, brought him up from the rock, and the Samson arrived at Lahi.

The Philistines came shouting in triumph, but the spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon Samson, and he snapped the ropes on his arms as if they were burnt strands of flax.

They fell from his wrists, and then he found the jawbone of a recently killed donkey.

He picked it up and killed.

A thousand Philistines with it.

And then Samson said, With the jawbone of a donkey, I've piled them in heaps.

I've killed a thousand men.

And when he finished his boasting, he threw away the jawbone, and the place was named Jawbone Hill.

All right, there's a good story.

Let's uh let's talk.

What does that what is how does that speak to the church today?

And this is what I love about Old Testament.

Anytime we read a story like this, it's really important that we look at historical context and how God was at work in the world then.

But we also bring it through the cross of Christ and bring it through the new covenant that we sit under.

That we're not a part of an old Jewish covenant like Samson was.

We're part of a new agreement because of Jesus.

And so we bring it through today, and here's some ideas from this story that speak to us in a spirit of unity.

Number one, slander always starts with miscommunication and misunderstanding.

Verse 1 and 2, here's this story about like Samson showing up to like sleep with his wife, brought her a nice goat.

And uh, and then the father won't let him in.

And I I truly thought you must hate her.

And Stance the reason because Samson A brought her a goat and B wanted to sleep with her, that he doesn't hate her.

But the father-in-law thought that Samson hated her.

So here's a classic like this whole story.

If in this moment the father-in-law just said, Samson, I'm so sorry.

I misunderstood.

Because this thing happened, I believe that you no longer love my daughter, but clearly you love her.

And so um I gave her to be married, but we'll figure that out.

She's still yours.

Like, there could have been like a resolution here of some kind.

I don't know what that would have been, but there this miscommunication and this misunderstanding.

Wow, to avoid a difficult or uncomfortable conversation, what happened for the father-in-law to think that he doesn't love my daughter anymore?

And why wasn't he willing to talk to Samson about it?

Miscommunication, misunderstanding, right at the heart, right at the start of this slander.

I know for me, my my greatest place of growth and learning in the years that I've been learning to trust and follow Jesus has been connected to am I willing to have the difficult conversation?

I think there's some miscommunication here.

I think there's a misunderstanding.

Am I willing to go there?

And honestly, the reason I have avoided hard conversations is because like I love people.

And I always think first, my first thought is always like, if I have a hard conversation, maybe they won't like me anymore.

If I'm honest.

But slander always starts with miscommunication and misunderstanding.

This whole story gets really out of hand because there was a misunderstanding.

If slander starts with miscommunication and misunderstanding, well then as sons and daughters, we model unity by having the conversation.

Talk about the thing.

Talk about the thing.

It's time.

Where's their gap?

Where's their pain?

Where has distance in a relationship created distortion with someone that you love?

Have the conversation.

Talk about the thing.

Number two, slander acts on misunderstanding instead of fighting for the truth.

And again, in this same couple of verses, there's this reaction.

Not only did he misunderstand Samson, but then he acted on it.

He assumed, well, he doesn't love my daughter, so I'm marrying her off to the next best option.

And then there's this like really twisted secret mode of like, hey, I can find a good one for my second daughter, too, right?

It's just like scoreboard, this father-in-law acts on the misunderstanding and the and the misappropriation of heart and intention and motive, but he acts on it.

He moves forward on this thing.

Reacting or forging ahead when there's been misunderstanding and miscommunication, all it does is foster confusion and hurt and pain.

That's it.

If slander acts on the misunderstanding, well, then as sons and daughters, we model unity by fighting for understanding.

That's why we have the conversation.

That's why we pick up the phone.

That's why we send the email.

That's why we reach out and say, Will you sit with me?

Why?

Because we're gonna fight for understanding.

We're gonna work our way through this.

We're gonna act only on what is true and what is good as we find that understanding together.

Number three, slander avoids and neglects responsibility.

Samson's response, this time I cannot be blamed for everything I'm gonna do.

There's that classic, like, I'm not responsible, so look out.

It's not my fault.

They're to blame.

They said that thing.

They're older than me.

They should know better.

They're more mature than I am.

They're my elder.

It's their fault.

I'm just I'm just the young naive.

They're to blame.

That's what slander does.

It neglects responsibility, avoids it.

That's what we know.

When the Spirit of God works within us in relationship to one another, soft hearts move first.

Soft hearts move first.

Soft hearts lean in and go, there's clearly a misunderstanding here.

I'm done behaving in a way that reflects that misunderstanding.

How do we fight for unity?

How do we build together?

Sons and daughters model unity by taking responsibility.

No more excuses.

Come on.

Number four, slander generalizes and then involves and hurts more people than it needs to.

And in the story from Judges 15, Samson says, this time I can't be blamed, and I'm for what I'm going to do to.

Notice he doesn't say my father-in-law.

He says, you Philistines.

There's this like wide sweeping, like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Why you Philistines?

This is an entire people group now that's in trouble because of one man's misunderstanding and acting on that misunderstanding.

It's getting kind of hectic here.

It's getting out of hand.

But it's sometimes easier to like generalize and blanket statement than have the difficult conversation.

We've seen this in Jesus' church.

Like a thing happens between a beautiful daughter and a leader in the church, or a son of the faith and a leader in the church, and rather than have the conversation, I'm out.

The entire church is evil.

I'm done.

We generalize in blanket statements.

And we do this in family too.

We have a difficult thing going on between us and a cousin, and like, well, the whole family can go straight to wherever they want to go.

We generalize and we sweep, and we do this all the time.

That's what slander does.

Who else are you pulling in?

There's a fine line between getting godly counsel and I'm too scared to talk to the person I really need to talk to.

Sometimes we're like, I want to have the conversation because they hurt my feelings, but like I need to get some counsel.

What we mean by that is I need some other people on my side.

And so we generalize and we involve too many people and we have the conversation, not with the right person, but with all the people that didn't even know about it.

And then before you know it, you Philistines, I can't be responsible.

We got a mess on our hands.

If slander generalizes, then as sons and daughters in the faith, we model unity by covering and protecting.

They don't need to know.

We're not gonna generalize, we're gonna keep it in the lane that it needs to be kept in.

Is this okay?

Number five.

Slander always does more damage than we could ever imagine.

Samson went out and caught 300 foxes, tied their tails together, lit the torches, let them loose in the grain fields.

Not only did it burn the grain to the ground, but it burned the sheaves to the ground, and then it burned the uncut grain to the ground.

Shoot.

Then it destroyed their vineyards.

Oh no.

Then it destroyed their olive groves.

That's getting out of hand.

I didn't mean for them to get hurt.

I didn't mean for them to get involved.

I never imagined that they would be impacted that way.

It was just between this here, but now this whole thing is on fire, and I don't know how to put it out.

And we've seen this in the last few years within the church, within families, within marriages.

Because I refused to deal with the misunderstanding, because I refused to have the conversation, because I acted on the misunderstanding, because this got out of hand, and now there's all this damage done.

And how do I work this back?

How do I bring this back?

We're sons and daughters.

So we model unity by closing the gaps, minimizing the damage.

That's on us.

In a spirit of unity, that's who we are.

A couple more and I'm done.

Number six, slander perpetuates hurt upon hurt rather than healing and unity.

In a spirit of slander, we don't even sometimes know or aware that this is how we're operating.

It's just like more hurt, and it builds upon hurt, and then the foundation is like this pain, and then we're building on that.

And it's not, it's not something we intended, it just sort of happens.

And we see that in Judges 15, this sort of who done this, who did this, Samson, because his father-in-law did that, and now instead of dealing with Samson, they're like slaughtering the father-in-law and the daughter.

Well, that's that seems inappropriate.

It seems like a really harsh response to this thing.

Hurt upon hurt upon hurt, and then Samson says, Because you did that, I won't rest until I take my revenge on you, and back and forth in hurt and hurt, and pain and pain, and more and more.

What what in your heart when it comes to relationship right now?

What's creating an unanxious presence?

Do you wake up at 4 30 in the morning thinking about a conversation you wish you could have with somebody?

Do you have emotional moments in your day where you're like, man, I wish I wish that God would do something here and fix this thing?

I won't rest.

There's this uh uh this anxious, uneasy restlessness to slander.

Spot it, recognize it, lean into it, pay attention to it.

Because if slander is perpetuating this hurt more and more, as sons and daughters, it's on us to model unity through moving forward with healing.

Soft hearts move first, yeah, but why?

To bring healing.

And when we invite healing into a relationship, it gives permission for forgiveness, gives permission for more healing.

If that's what slander does, it's on us as sons and daughters connected to the body to build unity by modeling healing.

Soft hearts move first.

Number seven, slander breeds isolation.

Judges 15, 8, then Samson went to live in a cave.

Always.

Always.

It's pain upon pain upon pain.

It's getting out of hand, more things are on fire, more people are involved, it's become a real mess.

If only I'd had the if only I'd had the conversation, if only we'd figured this thing out from the beginning.

And so what do we do?

We hide.

We isolate, we withdraw.

We stop showing up at our small group because it's uncomfortable when I see them.

We stop showing up at family gatherings, we make excuses while I'm busy after work, but you just don't want to be in the room because you know that they're gonna be there.

Isolation drives us away from real relationship, real community.

That's what slander does.

Well, what does unity do?

As sons and daughters, we model unity by fighting for oneness, fighting for togetherness.

No, I'm gonna I'm gonna turn up, I'm gonna look them in the whites of their eye, and maybe just seeing them face to face will be the catalyst for the real conversation to begin, for healing to begin.

Number eight, slander builds up with blame and payback.

Goes on and on and on.

We read this back and forth.

You know, Samson retaliates, kills a bunch of Philistines.

The Philistines retaliate and take command over Judah, and then Judah sends you know all these people to come find Samson, and then it's just back and forth.

And Samson's response in verse 11 I only did to them what they did to me.

Well, this actually was started just between you and your wife's dad.

Um, so explain that.

Walk walk that back.

This language of blaming and payback rather than turn the other cheek.

Isn't that the invitation that Jesus invites us into?

Well, that rather than walk the second mile.

Isn't that the way that Jesus models when something's hard, something's asked of you, when something's demanding, we turn the other cheek, we go the second mile.

Instead of that, we retaliate, we hold grudges, we we pay back.

There's an indifference in our hearts or a coldness in our hearts when we think about that person or when we see them across a crowded room, rather than a lightness and an airy, like, oh, they're they're they're family.

There's like this like closed-off judgmental response because of payback and what we've allowed to filter into our heart.

Slanter builds up with blame and payback, retaliation.

They're gonna get what's coming, but not unity.

As sons and daughters, we say we're gonna model unity by defining our language of forgiveness and reconciliation.

And lastly, Slander's legacy is disunity, destruction, and ultimately more death.

In Judges 15, verses 12 through 17, there's this jawbone incident.

Judges 15:12–17

Not only does Samson kill a thousand Philistines with a jawbone, but the place where this took place is forever named Jawbone Hill.

Not only is there more death and more destruction, but the identity of a region gets shaped by what took place here.

There's more destruction.

Eventually, like we don't even know why it's named Jawbone Hill or why why all this death and destruction took place over like a one family thing, one family crisis, miscommunication, misunderstanding.

That's Slander's legacy, though.

Disunity, pain, destruction, ultimately more death upon more death.

Hey mom, why don't we why don't we talk to Aunt So-and-so anymore?

We just don't.

Hey Dad, why don't we see grandpa anymore?

We just don't.

We just don't hey mom, why don't we why don't we go to church anymore?

We just don't.

As brothers and sisters in God's family, how do we model unity?

How do we fight for unity?

I just want to oppose this idea that maybe it begins with us choosing to not be people that slander and not put up with it when our brothers and sisters bring slander to us.

Be the gatekeeper.

And practically, real real practically, that means that when somebody comes to me and says, Hey Pastor, so and so said this, and I just want you hang on.

Why are you telling me?

Well, you're the pastor.

I thought you should know.

Have you spoken to them?

Well, no, I just thought I scripture invites us as family to when we're at odds with a brother or sister, go to that person.

Talk about it, talk about the thing.

Don't act on a misunderstanding or act on an assumption or ask on something you act on something you overheard.

Go to that person, have the conversation.

Don't bring it to me.

The Bible says, bring it to the elders of the church once you've had the conversation and it didn't go well.

Right?

And that that can happen in families, you know, where I go to my cousin and I, hey, did you hear about Uncle Jack?

Can you believe that he whoa whoa whoa whoa have you talked to Jack about this?

Well, no, if I talk to Jack about it, he's he's my uncle.

I don't want him to think I'm disrespectful.

You're talking to me about it.

That's kind of disruptive, right?

This think about it.

Think about it.

We have the conversations.

That's what unity does.

Unity is our legacy.

I'm gonna close with this kind of heart search in a moment.

If you're watching from home, listening to a podcast, maybe just whatever you're doing, just pause for a second.

Just close your eyes.

If you're in the room, just close your eyes, take a deep breath.

And just want you to think in the relationships that matter, where has there been miscommunication?

Where has there been misunderstanding?

Where have you acted on misunderstanding instead of fighting for the truth?

Where are you avoiding or neglecting your responsibility?

Where are you generalizing?

Involving or hurting more people than you you need to.

What's isolating you?

What relationships are causing you to withdraw from family or community right now?

What's pulling you back?

Where are you avoiding a hard conversation because it hurts too much?

Where are you playing this blame game?

Payback, retaliation, resentment.

And then I want you to just hear the words of Jesus as we close.

John 17, 23 again.

This prayer that he's praying to his father on your behalf.

Listen as Jesus prays, he says to his father, to our father, says, Father, I'm I'm in them.

And you're in me.

May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me.

And that the world will know that you love them as much as you love me.

This is why unity matters.

This is why we as sons and daughters choose to fight for unity.

This beautiful prayer that Jesus prays in John 17.

He says to us in the room today and us watching from home, may you experience such perfect unity that the world will know that I've been sent by the Father and that God loves you just as much as He loves me.

That the world would know how good, how pleasant it is.

As sons and daughters, when we dwell together in unity.

For that unity is as precious as the anointing oil that was poured over Aaron's head, that ran down his beard under the border of his robe.

Jesus, our surrender, our honest response to your word today is that we want to pay close attention to the little things.

The little things that have the ability to ruin our love, ruin our growth, ruin our spiritual vibrancy and health, ruin our unity.

We will no longer avoid the difficult things.

We will fight for unity.

We your people.

Thank you, Father.

Now, as we go from this place, I want to give you permission to just take some time and lean into how the Spirit's leading you.

This is sort of a big picture unity conversation, okay?

In in that big picture unity conversation, there's always outliers that like something happened where you were taken advantage of, or you were hurt, or you were betrayed, a traumatic event.

And for that, I would say just walk slowly and involve elders from the church, involve leaders that you trust for counsel.

Because sometimes fighting for unity means I forgive them and I'm leaving them over there.

But actually doing the work of forgiveness.

Okay?

But more often than not, unity in family, in home, in work, in the church, it's like I just need to sit down with that person and have the conversation.

It's time.

And so I pray as we close today's message that God would give us courage and faith to be a people that fight for unity.

The leadership that's on each of our lives to carry the mission and the hope of Jesus would see us being a people that refuse to slander and refuse to be a safe place for somebody else's slander, but to build a spirit of unity in our homes, in our families, in our church.

That's who we want to be, Father.

We ask for your wisdom, your counsel, your peace in Jesus' name.

Amen.

Amen.

Thank you so much for listening to today's message.

If you're ever in the Edmonton area, pop by for a visit.

And if you need any more information, visit Evolvechurch.com.

We hope to see you soon.