At The Movies: Navigating Pain and Power in Wakanda Forever | July 2nd | Pastor Larry Crawford

Good morning to you.

All right, let me give you a better opportunity.

Let's celebrate Jesus this morning.

Are you happy to be in the house of the Lord?

That's all right.

All right, you can give me that little pity pat, but you know, as long as we don't under appreciate Jesus, we're in a good spot.

Are y'all happy to be here today?

Elbow your neighbor real quick or high five, and we'll just look at him funny and say this is going to be a good series.

Go ahead and tell him.

I'm just gonna tell you right now.

I'm gonna go ahead and make the promise right now.

This is going to be a good series.

We're so excited to have you all in the house with us today and for those of you who are with us for the first time online and those of us who are with us for the first time, just thank you for coming.

Today we are going to kick off a new series for the summer, and this series is called At the Movies Now don't get all nervous.

In the service we are.

Have you ever noticed that Jesus had the ability to take a story that people could relate to, regardless of their walk of life, and be able to pull that into a context so he could communicate the heart of God and the promises in God's word.

Did you ever notice that Jesus could do that?

He told stories and he told parables, and so this series is all about repowing If you ever had your car repo, I hope not but repowing stories that people are familiar with and using modern stories to re-communicate ancient truth.

How many of y'all know?

It ain't ever been nothing wrong with the Bible or the gospel, but sometimes we have to help people understand it in a language that they get.

So that's what we're doing today.

We're just trying to be like Jesus.

Somebody say let's go ahead and get started.

So today we are going to start this series out and we're going to look into a movie called Wakanda Forever.

Wakanda Forever y'all know what I'm talking about.

So Wakanda Forever in 2022, it was the number two grossing movie in the world.

I mean, it made more money and had more people watching it than anybody else, and I think a big part of it was because it was the highly anticipated sequel to the movie Black Panther and it was honestly an amazing movie.

But what was unique about it is that it was sorrowfully delivered Because the star of the original movie the Black Panther.

His name was Chadwick Boseman.

He died, died Iconic hero, iconic character, and he died right after that movie.

And so when we see the sequel, we find everyone in that movie actually enduring real life pain as they work through this thing on the screen, because they were really hurting, they didn't have to act that part and the main character shifted from being T'Challa, who was the former Black Panther who passed away, to his sister.

Star of the cast was a character named Princess Shuri, and through the entire movie we see Shuri navigating this intense, excruciating agony and pain because she had lost someone that was really irreplaceable in her life.

Through the entire movie it never stopped In the closing credits she was still working through it.

Anybody know what I'm talking about, how it feels to lose somebody that you can't replace.

The nation lost a hero, they lost a king, but she lost her best friend, she lost her brother and there was a hole in her life that she was trying to figure out how to feel.

And then, on top of that, she was presented with a problem that was way too big for any one person to solve.

Who's seen that movie?

Do you have any kind of reference?

Raise your hand, if you see this, so I can kind of know who I'm talking to up in here.

Okay, yeah, y'all gave them some of your money too.

And so Shuri found herself looking for a solution to her pain and looking for a solution to her problem.

And in the movie, all of a sudden, she found herself surrounded by three characters, and each one of them had a desire to connect with her relationally in a different way.

And I think, just like Shuri, each of us surrounded by many relational options, lot of choices on the types of connections that we can make, the types of relationships that we can build.

But, just like Shuri, who we choose to connect with is a life or death kind of a situation.

Everybody look at your neighbor and look at your neighbor and say it matters who you connect to.

Tell your other neighbor, be careful who you choose.

See, shuri had a purpose in her life and she had a purpose for the season, and so it was super important for Shuri to make sure that the selection process for her connections flowed out of wisdom instead of out of her need or her pain, y'all.

But to listen to me up in here, we gotta be careful how we choose who we connect to.

You know if you find yourself in a place where you have a heart deficit or you find yourself in a place of pain.

We tend to reach for things that we should not reach for.

We tend to accept things that we should not accept.

I wish somebody would help me up in here today.

We tend to latch on to people and find purpose in relationships that we should not, when we depart from our purpose and we connect based on our preference, and so today I wanna use the story of Wakanda forever to share a message on redefining relationships.

Redefining our relationships.

This is kinda one of those things that's scary, because redefining our relationships puts us in a place where we have to be willing to scrutinize what we currently have.

We gotta be willing to upset the apple cart just a little bit.

We gotta be a we gotta sometimes we gotta poke the bear.

We gotta push into the dominant relationships that we have in our lives to redefine them.

Otherwise they stay the same.

Today, we're gonna talk about redefining relationships.

Before we can even understand what redefine means, we need to understand what define means.

So let me give you a definition.

To define means to determine or identify the essential qualities or the meaning of something it's defined as to discover and set forth the meaning.

A lot of us have a picture in our head of what each relationship in our lives means to us, and too many of us lump all of them in the category of friend or enemy.

But how many of y'all know that there's some other colors in the crayon box?

Y'all know what I'm talking about, right?

You know, if you was poor, you grew up with eight colors.

But if you had rich parents you had 64, were the pencil sharpener, all right, I'm just saying there are more friend, there are more relationship colors in the coloring box than friend or enemy.

We gotta be able to define the relationships that we are in, because how we define our relationships will make us or they will, they really really will, they really really will.

So when we say redefine, we're talking about reevaluating, we're talking about reexamining, we're talking about repositioning.

There's a whole bunch of reeds that we gotta be willing to do when we redefine our relationships.

So let me go ahead and set it really, really straight for the day so that nobody thinks I'm saying something that I'm not.

Ms Carly, this is not a conversation about friendships.

In fact, I'm probably not even gonna talk about friendships today because we default to friend or enemy.

Y'all we've been taught since kindergarten, preschool, to be friendly, kindergarten, share and be friendly.

And we go through our entire educational season of being told to be friendly.

And what happens is that it's ingrained in us so early that we begin to think that if we're supposed to be friendly everybody, then that must mean everybody must be our.

But how many of y'all know, as my grandmama used to say, larry Wardell, don't you ever call me that Not everybody is your friend.

So we're not even gonna talk about friendship today.

Can we do that for a second?

Because there are way more colors in the friendship box than that.

We've been taught to lean towards friendship, but I can't think of a single time in the rules where they told us how to navigate other relationships, and so we carry with us the immature mindset that we had in elementary school and junior high and we don't know how to navigate the space or the pace or the place of the people that are in our circle around us.

Somebody say everybody ain't your friend.

So this ain't a message about friendship.

This also is not a conversation about throwing people away.

Again, not everybody's your enemy, even though they make you uncomfortable.

I wish somebody would help me in here, mad at your boss, because they trying to help you perform.

They ain't your friend at your boss.

I'm just gonna stop right now.

Uh-oh, listen to me.

Listen to me.

This is not a conversation about throwing people away.

The baseline of our discipleship is to love everybody.

Love who?

Not just the people you like, but the people that you.

Okay, we supposed to love everybody, but let me explain something to you.

It didn't say be with everybody.

This is where a lot of our heartbreak kicks in, because we don't define our relationships.

And to launch into this, we need to accept a truth, and the truth is this is that God has called each of us to a life filled with relationships you can't escape.

You need people.

Look at your neighbor and say you need you some peoples, you need some peoples, I need some peoples.

We get it.

Genesis, chapter 2, first thing the Lord says after he makes man, he says it's not good for man to be.

Genesis 2 · chapter mention

I'm going to make a helper.

Adam called her a woman, god called her a.

That's suitable for him.

It's not good for man to be alone.

And then, in Ecclesiastes chapter, I'm going to read this Can we put that on the screen?

Ecclesiastes 4.

I'm going to start with this and you kind of follow along with this.

It says two are better than one, for they get a good reward on their labor or on their toil.

And it says and if they fall, one will lift up his fellow, but woe to the one who is alone when they fall and doesn't have anybody to help them up.

Somebody say I'm falling and I can't get up.

And it says again if it's cold this is what I'm talking about If two lie together they keep warm.

But how can one keep warm alone?

It's cold out there in isolation.

And then it says and though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him.

What he's really saying in the Larry Ghetto international version is you might be able to whip me, but you can't whip me.

And TJ, you might be able to get me, but we going to get you.

Look at your neighbor and say I got your back.

Listen, god's plan for us is to be called into a lifetime of war, time of relationships.

But we have to be careful y'all, because in our understanding that our lives are going to be filled with relationship, we have to understand that it is critical to understand how to connect with each connection opportunity that we have around us.

Everybody is not supposed to be treated the exact same way.

The apostle Paul breaks this down for us.

I love this because y'all know that Corinthians church had trauma and drama and all kind of craziness up in there and they was like hood and holy at the exact same time.

You know what I'm saying.

They was hallelujah and they was ratchet at the exact same time.

You know what I mean.

They was twerking and they was holy ghost jerking at the exact same church that was the church of Corinthians.

They were all over the place.

They were all over the place.

And so first Corinthians, chapter 15, paul says this to them.

1 Corinthians 15 · chapter mention

He says verse 33, he says don't be deceived, because bad company ruins or corrupts good morals.

Paul said don't be deceived.

What he was saying is family.

We were talking about this just a minute ago, elder Howard.

Relationships are tricky.

Navigating relationships can be tricky.

What he was saying is that it's easy for you to fall into the trap of surrounding yourself with the wrong blend of brothers and sisters.

Don't look at nobody up in here.

Y'all thinking right now.

I know somebody up here got the wrong blend right now, save them.

Jesus Paul was saying don't be deceived.

That word deceived is a Greek word, it is plenao, and what that word basically means is that there is a pathway that's determined to be right.

But when you are deceived in this way, you start to wander off from the proper pathway.

You can either wander off by choice or you can be led astray by relationship.

So what he is saying is you got to be careful that your relationships don't take you off of the way that God wants you to go.

Can I get an amen on that?

Look at your neighbor and say be careful.

And so we have this conversation about redefining relationships.

And we look at Princess Shuri from Wakanda forever and we realize that she was surrounded by a whole lot of people.

But who she chose, chose Is that a word?

Who she chose, who she chose?

Yeah, that's not a word.

If Ms Jocelyn was here, she'd be dying right now.

She'd be like, really, who she chose to run with was going to change everything.

So tell your neighbor you got it, you got it.

You got to pay attention to who you run with.

Is it okay if we're a little interactive today?

Princess Shuri was not the only member of a royal family who had a situation like this.

One of our favorites, king David, also had a similar situation.

If you go to 2nd Samuel chapter 18, 19, 20, going to and you finish that out and you go into the first chapter of first Kings, you begin to see the story unfold.

I'm gonna paraphrase a little bit of it, but I would love for you in your own time, to go to 2nd, to that Samuel chapter 18.

Read 18 and 19 and you'll get the gist of what I'm talking about.

But King David found himself, like Shuri, really, really heartbroken.

He had lost somebody to.

Only they didn't die.

He lost his son to betrayal.

He had a son by the name of Absalom.

You ever heard of him?

The Bible describes Absalom as handsome.

He was like one of the most beautifully formed human beings in the Bible.

So he thought he was all that a bag of chips and a coupon for more chips.

And David's son, absalom, decided I'm taking over the kingdom, dad, you're out, I'm in and I'm gonna put me together an army to make it happen.

And so David was heartbroken, but he still had a little bit of hope for some reconciliation.

So David had the squash to rare the issue, the rift between him and his son.

But he also had to Listen.

He had to stop the rebellion too.

To top it off, not only did his son rebel against him, but one of his closest friends, cat, by the name of a tithafel.

He was his closest advisor.

And so now we got David's son and David's closest advisor saying we're against you now.

And David needed somebody to lean on.

You know what I'm talking about.

Anybody ever needed somebody to lean on just all the poop who just hits the fan.

You need somebody you can count on.

And David turns in his relationship circle to a guy by the name of Joe ab.

Now, joe ab had been with David from the beginning.

He was one of the mighty men, he was a warrior.

They had been in many a bar room fight together.

So David knew that if there was anybody who could get up in there and squash a rebellion, it was Joe ab.

Joe ab was his lead general.

The boy knew how to throw hands, he was a warrior, he was a fighter and David counted him as a friend.

I mean, that's what he was, wasn't it?

So David talked to Joe ab.

He said job, you got to shut this rebellion down job says cool, I got it.

David said take an army with you.

In fact I'm gonna go with y'all just to make sure things don't get out of hand.

Y'all know what I'm talking about.

They said no, king David, don't go, because you work so much, we can't.

We can't risk losing you.

We can't risk losing you.

We got it.

He says okay, cool, but when y'all get out there, listen, you're gonna run into Absalom.

He's gonna be talking crazy.

Don't let him get you so mad that you kill him.

Please deal gently with my son.

He said don't kill my baby.

I know he's tripping, but don't stab my son.

That's what he said.

Y'all look, y'all laughing cuz y'all wanted to stab somebody in the meaty part of their thigh yourself.

He said don't hurt my family.

You follow the story on.

Joe app ends up out there.

They get into a situation.

Joe up squashes it just like he said he would.

He, he defeated all the opponents and he got to a place to where it's like a.

It's like a crazy movie.

Absalom is riding through there and he get his hair and his helmet stuff get stuck in the thicket and he can't get loose.

Soldiers pull up and they say oh they go David's son right there.

This is a rap.

They go back and they tell Joe app.

Joe app says why did y'all kill homeboy?

They said you heard what the king said.

I heard what the king said if I kill him, you just gonna stand back and let him kill me, I'm out.

Joe app said I'll do it myself.

And he went to where Absalom was stuck and Stabbed him not once, not twice, three times.

How many y'all know Joe app had an agenda and so, if you follow this story, david's family member, his son, was killed by the dude that he thought was his friend.

Have you ever found out the hard way that's somebody that you in a relationship Wasn't your friend, that you put them in the wrong category?

How many y'all know that when you choose to invest or to give access to the wrong parts of your life to the wrong people, that there are casualties?

Things in your life die, people in your life get hurt.

Single folks that's why it's amazing Folks.

That's why it matters.

Single mama, single papa's, that's why it matters.

You can't just let everybody all up until you're being this.

There's a sound off in the business for those of you are not eponically first.

Um, you can't let everyone have equal access to all chambers Of your life.

There will be casualties, there will be cost.

So in the next few minutes, I Want to help.

I'm going to take a little bit of time and we're going to talk about A couple of things.

We're going to talk about how to identify the types of people that are currently in your life, and then we're going to talk about how to add in the type of people that you need in your life.

Can that be helpful?

They didn't teach us this in school.

They just said be everybody's friend.

But let me tell you you being everybody's friend is getting you beat up, busted, disgusted, rejected, you depressed.

Why they don't like me like I like them?

It's because when we try to Relate to somebody based on what we would love to have instead of what they really are, we set up a scenario for unfair expectations for all.

Here's the big idea.

God has a listen to me.

It's hard to make the right choices with all the wrong friends, but god has a plan for every relationship we're in.

Yes, it rhymes Hard to make the right choices with all the wrong friends, but god has a plan For every relationship that you're in.

So I want to take a minute and I want to cruise through the types of relationships that we have in our lives.

We're going to call those the three C's of relationships, and what this tool is designed to do is to help you to assess who's around you before you start Saying this is my friend, this is my enemy, this is this, this, and that I just want you to be familiar with the type of people you'll run into so that you can categorize your connections, so that you can make wise decisions about who's around you before you over commit to Relationships.

Will that be helpful for anybody?

Three types of relationships Can you put them on the screen, team?

Three Relationship categories.

We call them the three C's.

First one is going to be Constituents.

In fact, let's put this in the context of a Wakanda forever for some of the people that that I saw the movie.

Can you put the screen up for the pictures?

All right, here we go.

So there are three categories.

Okay, you have your constituents.

Constituents are loyal To a purpose, a shared purpose.

In other words, they are for what you are for.

Say that for what I'm for.

That's the basis of the relationship.

That's how they met, that's how they met you.

Y'all were at the same PTA thing and they said, hey, we need a whole bunch of cupcakes.

And she was like I'll make some cupcakes and and you said, oh, we can't make all those cupcakes by ourselves, let's work together.

And y'all started talking because of a shared purpose.

Constituents Are loyal for a shared purpose, believe it or not.

And Wakanda forever.

Eric aka killmonger was an enemy in the first movie, but in the second movie he was all about protecting Wakanda.

That was his whole purpose.

He was like no, I got your back longest, that's what we're doing.

Okay, everybody say constituent.

And then you have your comrades.

If anybody familiar with comrades, sometimes that's using a military context, and that is because our comrades are people who are loyal against a shared pain.

The basis of your relationship is that y'all met in the context of coming against a shared pain.

They fight.

I'm going to put these up on the screen and say you are going to, we're fighting the same thing.

You got a highway coming through your community and so y'all had a neighborhood meeting and you've been meeting for the last six months and every month y'all get together and y'all have a cup of coffee and y'all talk about how we're going to stop the highway.

Y'all met in the con.

This is going in, I can see it.

I can see it.

I can see it.

Y'all met in the context of standing against something, no more or not more.

For y'all who got bilingual family members.

He wasn't for Wakanda, but he was against their common enemy.

He was as long as we against this common enemy.

We cool Outside of that.

I'm for my people, you for your people, but we can fight them.

It's based the relationship based on mutual dislike.

Don't start thinking about your boss right now.

If the basis of your relationship is on what you're against, you're dealing with a comrade.

Notice I haven't said friend yet, because we're not talking about friendship, but some of us put friendship expectations on people because we have commonality in these areas and we wonder why we get our feelings hurt.

I'm going to break it down in a second.

And then, last but not least, we have our confidants.

Confidants are the area where you should be able to risk trust Confidants and that was Queen Ramonda who was her mother.

They just loyal to you.

You could tell them anything.

Dr Walker is one of my confidants.

I could tell this dude anything and I have I can trust them my worst secret.

Does that make sense?

He just got my back.

It didn't matter.

He wants me to do well, he's going to have my back if I'm in the crack house.

He'll still love me the same, won't you?

Unconditional love.

He'll have my back if I was in the White House, am I right?

You're going to love me the same.

He's going to talk to me different, but he's going to love me the same, right?

If I was eating a pack of ramen noodles, walker would sit down with me and eat the noodles and he'd be like, oh, these are some good noodles.

If I had steak money, he'd be like, oh, this is some good steak.

He doesn't care, he just is going to roll with me.

Some of us have some confidants.

Not all of your confidants are going to be saved.

Every one of us got that one.

Friend, I'm sorry.

What did they say to your child?

What did they say to your child?

And they are ready, in season and out of season, to get arrested on your behalf.

Girl, I got you.

You understand what I'm talking about.

Everybody has one of those people that's just loyal to you.

You could do something wrong and a confidant would say, yeah, he said it.

Not what Right.

Even if you were wrong, they just got you.

So we got to be careful, saints, with our relationships that are confidants that are not yet Christians.

We're talking about this this morning.

We got to make sure that we're guiding some of our confidants into the kingdom.

But if you're going to spill or risk trust, you need to do it in the area where the confidants are.

So those are some different colors where you get to place your relationships in.

So, now that we understand who we have around us, I'm going to ask you to take a look at your relationship circle and make assessments.

I'm going to put it back up on the screen and, just a little bit, I'm going to put them both with you Once you make assessments.

You're now in a position, after you know what you got, you can now take the next step.

The next step is to add in the relationships you need, and I'm going to give you another tool for that.

But let me give you a verse to support it First, thessalonians 5,.

I'm going to go with verse 12.

We'll go through 15.

It says we ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord.

Somebody say leaders.

Let me read that whole verse so we don't get too excited who are over you in the Lord and admonish you?

Let me go ahead and say this, since pastor ain't here If he can't correct you, he might not be your pastor.

That's your pal and you're probably not benefiting from the full benefit of the covering.

Listen, if your pastor can't adjust you and you not get offended, that's probably not your pastor, that's just your favorite.

He like Tony Robbins or something.

Okay, that's for free.

So it says we ask you brothers to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you leadership and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work.

Then it says be at peace among yourselves lateral, you see it.

And we urge you brothers to admonish the idol.

That means you're looking around you and you're making assessment of relationships that you are in and you are relating to them a certain way.

Admonish the idol.

It says encourage the faint hearted and and help the weak People who you need to be leading, and be patient with them all and see that no one repays anyone for evil.

Keep the peace, derek.

Peace, derek Fritz.

See that no one, everybody say we don't eat our own.

No one repays anyone.

We don't eat anybody else for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and everyone.

Listen.

So this gives us four purposes for relationships.

Now the fourth one is free.

I'm going to give it to you because I think you need it.

Here we go.

Would you go ahead and throw it up there?

Dream team four kingdom purposes for relationships.

I say kingdom purposes for relationships.

So here are the four you ready.

Four types of relationships you need in your life.

So I gave you the first tool so that you can look around yourself and see who you who's around you.

I'm giving you the second set of tools so you can add into your life the ones that you need to have around you.

Are you understanding what I'm saying?

All right, first relationship you need that we see in this scripture are people who pour into us.

The only way somebody can pour into you is if you submit yourself and put yourself in a position to where you are under them.

I'm going to let that soak in just for a second.

The only way that someone can pour into you is if you place yourself in submission under.

I've never seen a cup pour up and some of us wonder why we're empty, wonder why, when it comes to your relationships, your relationships are empty.

Those are my marriage coaches right there Tony and Kelly.

Okay, I want my marriage to be full.

So I have somebody that if he say, hey, you tripping, I'm gonna say, okay, I'm tripping because I want my marriage to be full.

There are other people that pour into your life that can lead in such a way that they help you to get your bank account right.

That means you're gonna have to submit and let them see it or stay broke because they can't help you if you want.

Are y'all hearing what I'm saying?

So first relationship you gotta have is you gotta have somebody pour into you.

Second relationship you gotta have is someone to peer into you.

That's a side relationship.

Proverbs 27, 17.

As iron sharpens iron, one man sharpens another.

You got to have somebody who keep you on your toes.

Walker is that for me?

If he tripping, I'll punch him in the jaw.

If I'm tripping, he'll punch me in the jaw.

That's what it is.

And then we'll hug and get it together.

He'll say, hey, larry, you know, I saw the way you was having a conversation with AJ.

I didn't really like it.

The way you was talking with your son, jeremiah.

I'm not really feeling that.

So this is what he looks into my life and I trust him to, and he levels me, keeps me on the level or moving up a level, and I do the same thing for him.

You got to have somebody who appear into you, that you'll be vulnerable and let them look inside.

Everybody say you got to find everybody.

What Dean Martin say everybody meets, all right, all right, I'm not going to do that.

All right, all right.

Yeah, I know about Dean Martin.

I know about Dean Martin.

I'm just saying All right.

Next relationship you got to have somebody that you pour out for them.

You know what keeps us like Christ?

It's helping those who can't help themselves.

You got to find somebody to serve that can't do nothing for you but love you.

You got to find somebody to develop so you can pour into everything you have, understand that they can't hold on one second.

Jarra, pour back into you.

Last category is you got to find and identify the people you got to put out.

Not everybody gets to stay in relationship with us.

See, the problem is that we like these top three but we get chicken when it gets to this last one, because the putting out process requires courage.

You actually got to be willing to have some awkward conversations with some people and say you and I got to change our relationship because neither one of us is going to get where God wants us to go If it stays like this.

The put out process requires courage.

Can y'all do me a favor real quick?

I'm going to have you.

I created a relationship ruler because I saw y'all taking pictures and I thought it was going to happen.

We do this.

They're now on both.

They're on one screen.

Now, there you go.

You can delete some stuff in your phone.

There we go.

You got space.

Let me get out the way.

In Jesus' name, I'm going to help him out.

Here we go, all right.

So I want to go back to what I said.

Make sure that you measure this against 1 Thessalonians 5.

This is not your permission to stop loving people.

This is not your permission to stop loving people.

It is an opportunity.

Somebody say opportunity to properly position ourselves in relationship for kingdom purposes, regardless of where we are.

Are you hearing what I'm saying, if you can look at this?

And, by the way, this is not a microwave process for those y'all who don't have the patience.

Some of this takes a little time, miss Cindy.

Some of us move through these relationship assessment processes too quick because we are too busy trying to satisfy our own desire.

I just want a friend, I just want a man, I just want a girlfriend, and we just lean into business as the same thing.

I can't miss this opportunity.

Yes, you can.

You can miss a lot of stuff if you don't identify who's who, because the problem is that if you start expecting a constituent to have your back, hey man, why didn't you jump up and fight for me?

Well, I'm not about fighting anything.

I'm here for the cupcakes.

We were doing a bake sale.

I mean, I know we've done a few bake sales together, but it ain't like that.

If you start looking for a comrade to have your back I mean to show up to your graduation party I'm like I didn't even know you were graduating.

I'm not into your goals or anything like that.

I'm just here to stop the highway, but your confidants got your back.

In order for us to redefine our relationships, it's going to require some courage.

This stuff is scary.

You can go ahead, brother.

This stuff is terrifying.

So let me give you something, one principle you can take with you that'll help guide you through this process.

We say this scripture all the time, or we reference it all the time, but in Ephesians 4, it talks about speaking the truth in speaking the truth in speaking the truth in this process requires you taking a little time to see who's who, so that you can prayerfully ask God to ordain moments, set up situations and conversations where you can rightly position the relationship.

The relationship that usually means there's going to be a trade-off.

What was there before might have to be replaced with something else, not because you tired of them, but to fulfill the kingdom purpose for the relationship.

This ain't about you, this ain't about them.

This is about what God can do through our relationships.

See, before we even talk about friendships, we gotta first be able to define the purpose that God has for us in the community that we're in.

Purpose is like serve day.

Some people aren't even gonna consider us being friends or anything else if we don't go out there.

That's their first exposure to us just getting out there and serving folks that need it, with no benefit to ourselves other than the reward that comes with being the hands and the feet of Jesus.

You understand what I'm talking about.

It requires some courage when you gotta go to a person who's been in your life for a long time.

You got a lot of history and you gotta say can we talk?

I've been looking over our relationship and I guess the only way I could say it is maybe I haven't been fair to our relationship and I've been trying to draw things out of this friendship that I probably shouldn't be drawing out of this friendship and I've made our relationship unhealthy.

That's scary.

In fact, that's the reason why most people stay in a dysfunctional friendship, dysfunctional partnership, dysfunctional relationship, because the courage that it takes to address those things that need to change can be quite uncomfortable.

But I want to give you one final thought as we begin to wrap up, and it's this that speaking the truth and love probably won't get you the most relationships, but it'll always get you the right ones.

Speaking the truth and love probably won't get you the most relationships, but it will always get you the right ones.

Reminds me of a story Y'all know I have one.

As life goes, we all get a little bit older.

It's a wonderful thing, better than the alternative, right?

And there was a beautiful older man and a beautiful older lady, and they both lived in a beautiful retirement village together with a whole bunch of folks having fun just like my mama's doing right now Can't keep tabs on that woman and they were living in the same community for about four or five years and she was a widow and he was a widower and as they hung out together over the years, he saw a sparkle in her eye and she saw a dimple in his cheek and he slicked back that silver hair and he said I think it's about time for us to change our relationships.

That's what he said to himself.

So one day, sitting across the table from her, he leans over and he said Mary, we've been friends for a long time and we pretty much just hang out with each other all the time.

I guess I just want to ask you will you marry me, mac Daddy?

She waited about five seconds and she says yes, yes, I will.

They go through their day, they finish hanging out and, as it goes, eventually everybody got to go back to their own space, place and room.

And he goes to his room.

He's happy, whoo.

She goes to her room.

She's like, wow, butterflies.

And he wakes up the next morning and he can't recollect whether she said yes or no.

So he's thinking about it.

Okay, how can I handle this?

How can I?

She's gonna think I didn't take it serious.

If I, what can I say?

And finally he got over all of that stuff and he's like you know what?

I've been on this planet eight to two years.

I ain't scared of nothing.

I'm just gonna call her, call her up, and he says hey, mary, I had a great time yesterday evening.

She says oh, I was waiting for your call.

I was really waiting for a phone call.

He said just let me finish.

He says I had a great time yesterday evening and I meant everything I said.

But I gotta be honest with you.

You know how it is.

Our memories just aren't as sharp as they used to be.

And when I asked you to marry me yesterday, did you say yes or no?

And Mary started laughing hysterically and she said I said yes and I meant it with all my heart.

And he said well, what are you laughing for?

She said well, that's the reason I was waiting for your phone call.

I couldn't remember who I said yes to.

As usual, there is a point to the story Sometimes.

Sometimes, the relationships you need and the relationships you want and the relationships that God wants you to have are waiting right on the other side of an awkward conversation.

But if you have courage, you can benefit from some relationships that will change your way, your life and ways that you can never manage.

I want to have a faith point to come forward, because there may be someone in this room right now that, just like the man in the nursing home, you're trying to figure out how do I even start this conversation.

Maybe you're like literally like me I don't even remember Elder Banker.

I don't even remember how I got off track, man.

I grew up loving Jesus, I grew up going to church, I grew up with all this stuff, and I can't even remember how I just stopped going to church or how I stopped having this vibrant relationship with Him.

I don't even know what to say.

I don't even know how to start.

I got some people up here that will have the conversation with you and for you.

They won't make it hard, in fact, if you're sitting here right now and you're trying to figure out what's next, it's as simple as ABC.

Starting a relationship with the Lord is so easy.

A first thing we do is we just admit hey, I got a sin problem.

I'm separated from our relationship with the Lord.

I need help.

B we just have to believe that Christ is the Son of God and that he was raised from the dead.

And.

C we just have to confess it with our lips.

And we have people up here right now.

All you got to do is come up.

You might be one of those folks that say, hey, I accepted the Lord a long time ago, but I'm going to tell you, we've been far apart for far too long.

If you're online and you're making the same type of a confession right now, I want to invite you to do the exact same thing.

Just put it in the chat.

I've been too far away.

I want to accept Christ.

Because the conversation doesn't have to be complicated, I'm going to ask the worship team to sing, and this is what I want you to do.

While they're singing, allow your heart to be open to what the Lord is going to do and when he moves on your heart.

You don't have to figure it out.

They're going to help you.

Just start walking.