Mother's Day Panel Discussion

That mothers played in Timothy's life to make him the man that he is.

And in the opening chapter of 2 Timothy, Paul talks about his uh grandmother and his mother that really built faith into him.

He said, This faith that was handed down to you, that was given to you, uh, let this be stirred up through your grandmother and your mother.

And then in the uh following chapters, he brings back the role that they played in his life that says these scriptures of which uh has been transpired or handed down to you by your grandmother and your mother.

Let them be something that you fight and contend for.

And so women play a powerful role inside the life of every believer, inside the ministry and health of the church.

We need the strength and gifts of women to teach, to disciple, uh to model godly behavior, godly beauty.

We need those things.

The church could not be what God has called us to without the role in ministry of women, and specifically the role in ministry of mothers.

And so we want to honor moms today.

We want to try and give you a little something to encourage you.

So this morning we uh invited uh Holly and Emily, uh two mothers in our church.

Holly is uh Pastor Jordan's wife, but she also is a mission group leader.

Uh she does uh scripture readings on Sunday mornings.

Uh, she also volunteers in Mission Kids.

She does a ton.

Uh, she has three children and uh and she homeschools as well, right?

And so uh she's got a lot to talk about, motherhood.

We thought she'd be great.

And then we have Emily.

Emily is with us.

She's not just a mom either, she's uh our director of mission groups at Sacred Mission Church, so she plays a vital leadership role in the health and mission of the church.

Uh she also serves in other areas too.

I'm trying to, I'm kind of blocked right now.

What other areas do you serve in at Sacred Mission?

We uh agree.

Yeah, we we're on the hospitality team.

Yeah, yeah.

And I have three kids myself.

Yeah.

Uh our kids are pretty similar in age.

And uh yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's right.

We haven't had hospitality for so long because of this pandemic.

I forgot we had a hospitality team.

I think that's what it was.

But nonetheless, we got some questions that we're gonna dialogue about that talks about motherhood, uh, motherhood from a biblical perspective, motherhood in your role of discipling uh people, not just your children, uh, but other people in your life.

And uh, we also want to talk about some of the hardships and joys that you're finding in this season, both in uh the season of life that you're in with your children, their life stage that they're in, but also this hardship of this pandemic that we're going through as well.

It's been really tough on moms and all people, and uh, we want to make sure that we're encouraging and building up the mothers in our congregation and those watching through our live stream.

So, we're gonna dive in, have some fun dialogue, some encouraging dialogue, and uh hopefully you guys are blessed and encouraged through it.

So, our first question we're gonna be talking about is what has been the most surprising thing you found joy in during this season?

So, through all the stuff that you've been going through in life, motherhood in this pandemic, what's something you've been surprised by finding joy in uh as a mother?

You want me to go first?

Yeah, go on.

All right.

Well, I was actually just talking with a friend about this the other day.

Um, you know, those like hours after you put your kids to bed are just sacred.

Those are like, those are the that's the me time.

And um, I have been surprised that there have been a couple times lately when I'm getting my kids to bed and they just like catch me off guard with something cute they're doing or a game that they start playing or whatever.

Recently it was the t-shirt challenge, the handstand t-shirt challenge where the boys are trying to do that.

That's funny.

And um, I just get like caught up with it, and I'm like having so much fun, and I just like throw bedtime out the window, and I'm like, screw it, we're having a good time, we're having good quality time together, and we're just gonna forget bedtime.

I'm gonna forget those sacred hours by myself, and we're gonna stay up a little later here and have some fun with it.

And that's always a surprise to me when I'm like, huh, I'm actually enjoying this time that my kids should be in bed, but I'm with my kids and we're having fun together.

So that's uh I always see those times as a gift because they, you know, oh yeah, nighttime is just like you're just ready to sometimes just hang it up.

Sometimes you like throw your kids in bed with the clothes they were wearing, like all like you can't get them in bed quick enough.

Just like get in bed.

I'm out.

If you come out of this room, yeah, your life is done.

You know, and but yeah, that's awesome to be uh finding those joyous, joyous moments and things that you once uh thought uh differently about for sure.

Yeah, what about you?

Um I think I would say that my my primary role, as is yours, is to be um at home.

I do the majority of my my work at home.

Um and I think I've been most surprised in this season of being called to stay home how how difficult that's been, even though I feel like for a lot of us, you know, our my my life has been at home most of the time, not much has changed in terms of being home a lot, um, and been surprised at how difficult that is, but have found so much joy in just the availability of others of knowing that they're home and um seeing people outside who I don't normally see at home.

Yeah.

Um, and just that that has been really comforting to me in a time of being home more than it's or the call to be home, you know.

So not being distracted with the the normal busyness of life.

It seems like it's impacting everybody on our street, like, oh, I didn't even know you lived in this, you know, I didn't I never met you before, and we're having conversations, and everybody being forced to slow down has probably made us in a lot of ways more grateful for what God has given us, you know, and uh in ways that we didn't used to be, for sure.

For sure.

All right.

So, what does your role specifically look like in discipling your children?

Yeah.

Um I think uh one thing that I found in motherhood is that it is this it has been the small moments the most that matter.

Um and I think being at home with my kids and discipling them, it's you know, the the small choices that I make every day of um how I'm choosing to discipline and the things that I say um and the very tangible things of like what we watch, what we because we're home now, you know, like what we watch, what we do with our time.

Um and those are the little things that build routines and they build habits.

And uh I think that's a huge part of discipling our children, are the little moments.

Um and then really, really tangible things.

I mean, we read God's word together, um, we do Bible stories.

Uh right now my kids are my little two and a half year old is reciting, deciding really cute, uh, but really uh wholesome, really good.

Um and so really tangible things like that as well.

So yeah, that's awesome.

Yeah, I like what you said about the little moments.

That I've been thinking about that a lot too, that like when you are in a moment and you see yourself like for me, a lot of times it's patience.

Yeah, I see myself losing patience, and I just beg the Lord to help me to be faithful in that moment.

And when he does and he's there and meets me there, I come out on the other side and I realize that was actually a really big moment.

My kids saw Jesus in me right there.

They knew they can tell when you're about to lose it.

Oh, dinner time.

Oh, yeah, girl.

You get to dinner time, oh, it's done.

Downward slope.

And so they, you know, they saw Jesus at work in me in that moment.

And I will sometimes like verbalize that.

Like, mommy was really feeling like I I was losing my patience, and I prayed and asked Jesus, and he, you know, gave me patience.

And so that becomes a big moment, not only for you, um, learning to lean into the Lord and learning to rely on him, but also for your kids to see Jesus.

Um, and I think that kind of goes along with my answer to that of like my kids spend more time with me than any other human being.

And that can sometimes feel like a really big responsibility, but I get to model the Christian life for them, and they see that in uh in me day in and day out, hopefully, you know.

Um, and so it's them seeing me read my Bible, it's them seeing me in prayer, it's them seeing me when I feel like I'm like losing it, you know, turn on some worship music and just sing in my really beautiful singing voice as loud as I can.

Um, and it's I think one of the biggest things um is in my moments of failure to come to them and apologize, repent and show them what that looks like.

Um at the end of the day, you know, when I put them to bed, we always pray and I sing a song with them.

And when I pray for them at night, those those have become really sweet moments of discipleship.

Like it's just something that's a part of my everyday routine, like you were saying, but um has just become really sweet to me of like I pray real prayers for them, like real prayers about them growing to love the Bible and to be saved and to love Jesus, be strong men and strong women of God.

Like I'll pray scripture for them.

And in those moments, like if it's been a day, if it's been a day, you know what I mean, and I've like yelled at them or been impatient or not kind or whatever, um I'll take that time to ask them for forgiveness, and then I pray a prayer of repentance out loud so that they can hear what it looks like to repent.

Um, and I think that's the life of a Christian, right?

Yeah.

Faith and repentance.

And so I just try to model that for them day in and day out and hope that that disciples their souls.

So and being honest, like my my four-year-old has picked up some things, some habits that I do, where I say, he goes, I am frustrated.

And I'm like, me too.

Yeah, and I think they're using your words and not your hands.

Yes, yeah.

You the people don't realize how holistic discipleship has to be.

And it's really uh you kind of telling your children, hey, I'm I'm walking on the I'm walking with the Lord, walk with me.

It's you know, Paul telling his disciples, follow me because I'm following Christ.

And so it's not about it, it's not solely about sitting down and cracking open your Bible or some ancient document of confession and faith to uh recite to one another, which those things are phenomenal and necessary, absolutely necessary.

But if we're not, if we separate our faith and our life and kind of put them in these silos, I think as children grow older, there's a strong disconnect between those two things.

Religion is something I do, but it's disconnected from the person that I am.

And so I think it's extremely valuable to have a more holistic view of discipleship.

Like I'm just gonna, you can walk with me as I walk with the Lord and let you gaze into those vulnerable moments, be transparent, honest with them.

Um, yeah.

So, Emily, you talked about Westminster confession, going through that with some of your kids and so forth.

Uh, what other practical things?

So, definitely, you know, being honest, uh transparent, asking them for forgiveness, praying with them, all those things are super vile uh vital to the role of discipleship.

What's another practical tool you've just really loved using in your home for discipling kids when it comes to more of the learning teaching side?

We are using, oh, I don't even know.

It's a children's Bible that we're going through right now.

The my beginner's story, gospel something.

Yeah.

I don't remember.

I don't even remember beginners' Bible, something another.

Everything has gospel and beginner, and it's for children.

Um perfect.

But we're just going like story by story through that Bible, and my kids are really loving it.

Um, you know, we read, we've read children's Bibles with them always.

Um and we just decided to make it like our morning devotional at breakfast, just um, because we've done things like catechisms before and things like that.

And we were like, let's just do this Bible, they seem to be liking it.

And it's just created really good um conversation.

And so we'll like do it at breakfast.

We'll it's a short little story, we'll tie and it always ties to the gospel, which is one of the reasons I love that Bible.

Um, and so we'll do that, and then in the evening, like at dinner, we kind of like make it a competition to see who can remember the most about the story.

Oh, nice, yeah.

Um, so you know, boys, you gotta do that.

Although Emiline girlfriend can kick some buttons sometimes in that she oh yeah, she knows.

She's a smart little thing.

So nice.

We use songs a lot, a lot of songs, yeah.

So that's how we do the catechism is we sing songs a lot.

Uh I would say that my husband likes to walk around the house and just sing catechisms.

Well, just singing all the time, screaming.

Our house is so loud.

Three boys and Tyler.

I think Tyler easily is the loudest.

Yeah, I could see that.

Yeah.

Um, but my kids remember a lot through song.

And so we do a lot of songs.

Um, and then we use a story of a children's Bible as well.

Yeah.

But we like a lot of books and and songs, yeah.

Yeah, and we really live in an age where um the resources uh abound for too many.

It's it's there's almost which one do you choose and which one do you go with?

Absolutely.

So, two, I want to take a moment for for those who don't know what catechism is, it's a big word and we don't really use it a lot much anymore.

Catechism is a uh is a historical way of discipling people, uh not just children but adults too, where there's a series or system of answers and questions to help you understand biblical truths.

And so you kind of ask them the question, and then there's already a predetermined answer to that question, and it's more of this like memory of uh things that we should know about God.

And yeah, it's an awesome way to learn.

There's tons of kids' catechism resources.

We've done New City Catechism with our kids.

And Katie and I are finding ourselves in a difficulty where our age span is so broad.

We have an 11-year-old and a three-year-old, and to be able, you can't disciple them the same.

And so that's the that's kind of the challenge we're in in this stage of life is when we come to the practical teaching times, um, it you we're really kind of having to divide and try to say, okay, this is for you at this point in time, this is for you guys, the little ones at this point in time, and it's a challenge.

But I'm thankful for the resources that we have.

And we'll put the link to the Bible you uh are gonna put in our in our notes later.

The beginner's Bible to the gospel of of little children.

Um, so talked about your role in discipling your kids.

How do you encourage and support your husband in discipling your children?

So it's not just the fathers or just the mothers, but we have a theological framework where the husband should take primary responsibility.

Uh doesn't mean that they have to do it all or should do it all, but they take primary responsibility in pastoring the home.

And so uh Okay, did we go out?

All right, check.

Hold on, live streamers.

We're good?

Cool.

Uh so for um for your role as a mother, how do you support and encourage your husband as the primary disciple of the home?

I got the mic, so I'll go first, I guess.

Um I think one of the biggest ways is to pray for him.

Just pray, pray, pray.

Never underestimate uh underestimate uh the power of prayer for your husband.

Um, you know, I think just acknowledging and realizing that a man that is striving to live out biblical manhood has an incredible weight on his shoulders, and um helping him to bear that weight in prayer is uh a huge one for me.

Also just acknowledging him as the leader of our family in front of our kids, making sure that they know that that I see daddy as the leader.

Um, and they always my kids will be like, Well, God's the boss and then daddy and then you and I'm like, well, kind.

Oh wow.

So yeah.

Um so and then um just encouraging him and just generally in Christ-likeness.

Um as he grows in Christ-likeness, he'll grow in his role and leadership as a father and as a husband.

And so um I try to, if I especially if I know he's going through a tough season or uh whatever, I'll write out like a Bible verse or something and leave it in a place where he'll find it, or I'll shoot him a text of a Bible verse and um just let him know I'm praying for him.

Um and just, you know, if there's a a time where I feel like legitimately like there's something that I need to talk to you about, like we need to talk.

I um always, and I don't always do this well, but um I try to uh cover it in prayer for sometimes like weeks ahead of time, you know, and then come to him with a air of you know, humility and respect, not uh self-righteousness or criticism, and um encourage him, like I said, towards Christ Christ-likeness, not towards my own likeness or towards the likeness of some other man that maybe I'm comparing him to, but to be like Christ and and when he grows like Christ, he will grow um in his role as a father and as a as a husband.

So do we reach or are we gonna get to sit really close now?

Um I would only say in addition to that, I mean, all that is hard.

That's oh yeah.

Um I know.

Um, but I would say in addition to that is just practically creating space for my husband to be in God's word.

Um just like in the busyness of schedule and routine of like this is something that we take as a high priority of like reading God's word and spending time with God, because if you're not with Jesus, like we're all kind of yeah, yeah.

And also being in the word myself and taking a really high view of being a woman of God's word that that we would spur one another on in our family, um, that he would see me in God's word and desire that as well.

Um so yeah, I would just say that in addition to everything you said, yeah.

Yeah, I think uh Katie really encourages me in just living her Christian walk and life with the Lord.

I mean, seeing her in her word, seeing her uh in the Bible study with the women and doing things really uh pushes me to think, well, how am I doing in my time with Jesus and how am I doing my time in the Word?

Um and uh I know you know my wife is is super passive.

So when my wife is says something direct to me, I know to listen because that took a lot for her to do that.

It took a lot for her to uh bring that to my attention, and so I really try to pay attention when she brings stuff like that up to say, okay, well, here's what I'm slacking here.

And it's great because she's always just she's wanting to make me better, she's wanting to make the house hold better through discipling our kids more, and so I think she's just a great support system for me.

Because there's, I mean, as a father, there's a lot of times where I just don't want to do it.

You know, I mean, just like you guys don't, there's things in your role as mothers, you just I don't want to do this.

I would rather just sit here and not do that right now.

Uh, and you know, we feel the same thing in in our areas of responsibility, and so having a team is so vital uh in being able to uh do that well and better.

Um, yeah, so uh you guys play a huge role in our lives as husbands, uh working to be that primary spiritual leader in our home.

Uh it's a challenge.

So um, how has viewing your home as a mission field shaped your perspective of your role as a mom?

Well, we kind of already touched about this, but um I think that the the fact that our being a mom and our mission field is is at home, there is no turning it off.

There is no um, you know, before I became a wife or a mom and I was a single woman, there was sort of a retreat to your to your home, and uh that no longer exists.

You're on all the time.

And and the reality is that you're being watched all the time and that you are mirroring, you know, you have all these people who are they're Example of Jesus is is you.

But I think that that has been it has been so good for me in walking with Jesus in that I don't ever want to be a woman that turns it off.

And that I want my life and my relationship with Jesus to be fluid, to be continuous.

And I think that being a mom has really, really pushed me in that of walking my life with Jesus out all the time because there's no, there is no turning it off.

And my mission field is at home and it's outside of the home, it's everywhere, it feels like now, which can be overwhelming and exhausting.

Um, but really finding joy in that as I walk with Christ.

So yeah, I mean the life of a parent is uh so vital to I mean we we trust in the sovereignty of God, we absolutely do, but as Reformed Church uh can do, we put an we we I think we put an umbiblical emphasis on the on the sovereignty of God, where we have no role to actively play uh in this life and in this world.

And if you ask children who who maybe have turned away from the faith in adulthood or I mean there's a lot that the that rests on the responsibility of what happened in their home as they grew up and as they watched mom and dad, and you don't get to turn that off.

It was funny because I'm trying to uh find times for Katie to get out of the house and and so forth, and uh she was gone, and and Liam automatically just can sense mom is gone, when is she returning?

And uh that sense of like never alone, never turning off.

I got a sense of it because I was trying to go to the restroom and uh Liam's coming.

Hey, dad, dad.

And I'm like, no, bud, I'm going to the restroom.

He's like, Can I open the door now?

I'm like, no, can I open the door now?

I said, no.

What about now?

I said, no.

And then all of a sudden I see his toes come under the door.

Dad, dad, can I open the door now?

No.

God, Katie, when are you coming back?

I'm texting her, like, you had enough time.

15 minutes out of the home is all you're getting.

Coming back.

No, uh, so I got a taste of what she gets because they don't do that to me normally.

Yeah.

24-7.

Yeah.

I literally said to Holly this morning, I have done so many things today that I never get to do.

I showered and no one came in.

I did my hair and nobody came in.

I'm like, I can't, what is happening?

Yeah.

Beautiful.

Yes, it's beautiful.

I can't every day be Mother's Day.

Yeah.

Yes.

What about you, Holly?

Let me just say, my kids have taken butter knives to try to unlock the bathroom door before.

Oh my gosh.

Like, when I hear them out there like clinking, or I'm like, I can feel guys.

The boy to home being weaponized for sure.

Yeah.

Yeah.

My boys be crazy.

Um, what was the question?

The question was basically how has viewing your home as a mission field shaped your role as a as a mother?

Yeah, so this is one that I struggled with a lot at first um because I felt uh unimportant basically.

Um I came from a job that I felt like I was very important in and had a very important role in society and blah, blah, blah.

And um, it is, it's a good important job.

Um, but when I came home, I just felt like, mmm, now I'm just changing diapers every day.

And like it just felt unimportant.

And like I love my kids, I'm crazy about them.

And I I get that, yeah, it's important to like, you know, train them in the ways of the Lord and you know, feed them like things like that, keep them alive.

Um, but uh I I felt a sense of being unimportant because I think really because nobody else was seeing what I was doing.

You know, there I mean Jordan does sometimes when he's home or whatever, but like I just felt really unseen.

And um that had to be a big uh thing for me to repent of and uh a humility, uh growth and humility, I feel like a shift for me because you know it's just as important, it's so much more important, really, as my role right now to focus my attention at home and not uh somewhere else.

And like there's there's people that I see that are like doing all these great things for the kingdom of God.

I'm like, oh, I want to do that or I want to do that.

And it's like, well, I have little kids, I can't be everything all at once, and like maybe it someday when my kids are older and don't require as much time or whatever, maybe I'll get to go do something like that.

But for now, this is um the most important thing that God has me doing, and there's so much significance in the mundane of breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and snacks in between, and diapers, and all of that.

There's so much significance in it, and so I just think you know, for the mom that feels unseen in all of that, um, the Lord sees you serving your family and serving him ultimately.

And it's that is a sweet, precious gift to be able to serve him uh faithfully day in and day out like that.

Yeah, I agree.

I mean, I I I feel you on that for the um importance, you know, just Katie and I talk about constantly like, God forbid we pursued other endeavors and kind of left our kids and family and our and our marriage in the dust.

You know, I think both men and women are uh have these poolings to other endeavors, and there and there's the reality of like, yeah, you gotta work and you gotta do life, like those things are um true and good, even in their own regard.

Uh but to put those things over, and especially even for me, like uh to try and balance where the church isn't my first ministry.

You know, my first ministry, my wife, my second ministry is my children, my third ministry is the church, but just the realities of life can uh and the uh kind of things that are gribing and vying for your attention can really put those things in out of priority and out of order.

And so, yeah, I think it's it's it's beautiful ministry as I watch Katie I know people really love and uh Katie and just what she brings to the table, but I get to see astronomically more than what anybody else gets to see.

And I'm telling you, it's ten times more beautiful than what you can see on social media or anything of that nature.

And there's times where it's really hard and and tough and frustrating.

And yeah.

Um what's been the most difficult uh uh thing um about this season specifically?

So this can either be with a season of life you find your children in, the life stage, or uh the kind of difficulties you've been experiencing uh through this pandemic time.

Uh yeah, I think I so my kids are we didn't ever say this.

My kids are almost seven, almost five, and three.

And so um, hi kids, love you guys.

Um so they have a lot of needs.

There are so many needs.

And so I on a regular basis actually say that.

Do you ever say that?

Like, oh my gosh, so many needs.

You're just like in the middle of trying to do something, and everybody's like not just one need from each of them, like, can you do this and this and this and my butt needs wipe?

You're like, yeah, okay, got it.

Um, so I think that that's the most difficult thing in this season is just like there are just so many needs, and that goes into the pandemic.

Like you're just meeting those needs all the time at home and not getting much of a break, you know.

Um it's it's I think even more so, like you were saying, being on 24-7.

Like I think it's that's just been magnified by the pandemic, just because we're not, you know, sending them off to grandmas and grandpas, or you know, we're we can't take them to the park and like let them play on the playground and like sit for a second.

Um, so I think yeah, just meeting those needs is really hard.

And I uh always think about when I'm feeling overwhelmed by that, uh, Philippians 2, where it talks about Jesus pouring out his life for us, like humbling himself to serve us to the point of death.

Like, wow, I'm that's what I'm supposed to be emulating as a mother, and I sometimes feel like I'm going to die.

Like crawling across the kitchen floor.

So there's your applesauce.

I hope you're happy.

Yeah, yeah, which then they'll probably like throw it at me and say it's gross.

I did something wrong with it.

Um, so yeah, I just think of Jesus and like how he poured his life out for us like that, and um just beg God to work that in my heart because that's not like something I'm ever going to be able to muscle out on my own, but just ask God to um grow that kind of servant heart in me towards my family.

Yeah.

What about you, Emily?

Um, I would say all like the the long suffering of walking through life with someone, I think is has been the most difficult.

I mean, in my Christian life with my neighbors and my friends, and then with my children.

Um, just possibly, you know, like not always seeing the fruit of all of the all of the things you're talking about, the diapers and the food and um all the times that all the prayers that I've said and all of the um just all the stuff that you feel like you're doing and you're being needed all the time, um, and walking that out and knowing that I might be the water and I might be the sun and I might be, you know, and I might never see the fruit of my labor, um, but that it's worth it.

But that like this, you know, that God is using that and God is in that, um, and that it isn't all for nothing.

And I think that's the hardest on like the day in and day out of I have to do this again.

I have to do this again.

That there are people with real needs that have to be fulfilled.

Um, so yeah, I just think the the long suffering of motherhood and the joy of it as well.

Yeah, parenting in general, it's not like you know, you maybe you're a house builder and you like build something, you complete it, and you get to step back and be like, oh, that was so gratifying because I saw the finished work and what my hands shaped in.

But it's like but it's like seen in a long time, and you're like, oh wow, you've grown, or oh wow, you've changed, you know, I've seen that you don't see that because it's so minute and progressive, and you're examining on the most intimate detail every step of that plan.

And so I know that uh one thing we've been trying to do is really just celebrate and pause where we see fruit, you know, because it's so easy to keep going, and but it's there.

Fruit is there.

The work of your labor is producing fruit, the spirit is utilizing your obedience and sacrifice to develop that in kids, and so how do you um how do you recognize it?

How are you taking time to be aware of it, and how do you celebrate that in your home too?

Yeah, I was gonna say that uh I think sometimes too we get hung up on our fruit um being just in our children, but motherhood, parenthood is just as much about our fruit in our own lives, I think, as it is.

They are, it's so true.

And so I think um sometimes when I feel discouraged, like, oh, I just can't help my kid overcome this, or why can't I get them to listen, or like whatever it is.

Um, looking at like, well, what is God trying to do in my life and in my heart through this, and what has he done and what ways have I grown?

And I think that's always um important to remember, like, it's not just about the fruit in our kids' lives, it's so much about us too.

Yeah, I I never imagined I would feel so much rage against a child in my life than my than my own children, and Katie can tell, and that's again her helper and encouraging and supporting me, and she's like, hey, I'm like, hey, how's it going?

Get these kids out of here.

Yeah.

Um, where do you find the need to preach the gospel to yourself the most?

Um, so I just I walked into motherhood like like 50 Cent walking into a club.

Like I like owned the place.

I like just thought And then you realized we were Napoleon Dynamite trying out for the happy hands club.

Yes! I like I just thought I was gonna nail it.

I just thought, like, I got a great motherhood resume.

Like, you know, I grew up in a great home.

I've nannied, I've done all this babysitting.

Everybody I've ever worked, like, worked for has loved me.

I was a children's nurse, like, you know, like all of these things.

Why wouldn't I be a great mom?

Of course I got this.

And then all of a sudden I became a mom.

And it did not take long.

It was not long into that first, you know, postpartum phase that I was like, I don't got this, I don't got this, I don't got this.

And um I think that for me, I like I'm just not generally, if I'm being honest, a person that's comfortable with weakness.

And um living out the gospel requires me to acknowledge my weaknesses and to even lean into them to where Jesus can be strong for me.

I can't fight the things that I'm that I struggle with, I can't fight it in my own power.

Like I have to acknowledge I can't do this.

I need you.

And I thank God that he um showed me that pretty early.

I think Caleb was like seven months old, and he was a terrible, terrible sleeper.

Part of that was like first-time mom stuff, part of it was his personality, and those just worked synergistically together to like kill me.

I like I was oh my gosh.

I told Jordan one time, I was like, I I wish I could just maybe like die for just a day or two so then I could wake up and feel refreshed.

Like I wish that I could just go into a reduced code, yes, exactly.

So, um, anyways, I was just so tired and just it was bad.

And I, Caleb, we rocked him to sleep, and I would spend literally hours of my day rocking him to sleep.

And I remember one time it was during um a mission group night, and I was trying to get him to sleep in the middle of mission group, and I was just upstairs, I was like so frustrated because I just felt like I needed that time with other people and like with God's people, and I was so frustrated because he wasn't going to sleep, and I was just bawling up there.

Everybody's down in my living room, like talking about Jesus, and I'm upstairs bawling, trying to rock my kid to sleep, like trying not to let the tears drip on him so he doesn't wake up.

And I just literally was like, God, I literally don't know if I can do this any longer.

And he was like, Andrew can't, and that's what I'm here for, and that's what the gospel is all about.

Thank you for finally acknowledging it.

And I just was like, Oh, so I'm supposed to be weak, so you can be strong, like the whole Bible says, like, okay.

So I think for me, just really leaning into my weakness and allowing him to work the gospel in me to help me overcome those areas that I really, really struggle in.

So, yeah, thanks.

Yeah.

What am I gonna say to that?

Yeah, of course, a hundred percent.

Like, absolutely.

I have nothing to add.

Yeah, like um, I think that I feel like the places that I need to preach the gospel myself the most is in disciplining my children.

I have, like you said, I have never realized that I was so angry.

That like I feel like so often I just want to say, just do it, just do it right, just get it together and let's just go.

And I feel like a lot of the times that's how I live my motherhood or my Christian life of like, just pick yourself up by the bootstraps, get it together, do the right stuff, and like and time and again.

And that makes the fall so much harder for me of just like when I fail that I couldn't, I couldn't do it.

I just couldn't, I just couldn't do it.

Yeah, it's a big surprise.

Yeah, I'm like so surprised that I just couldn't do it.

And I feel like so often I find myself preaching that to my children of like, just do it, just let's just do it right.

Just eat your food and we will move on with the day, you know, like and that isn't how they work, that isn't how life works, and it's taking that time, you know, to work that out with them that Christ works out our salvation, that long suffering that Christ walks with us through that, and the mundane things are what matters back to those little moments.

Um, so yeah.

So, yeah, pride and performance seem like the two uh weaknesses or downfalls and that that stand out the most, at least in your motherhood, and how does Jesus uh he came to bring down the prideful uh and he came to say that nothing you can perform and do could ever earn you what you're looking for.

And to rialize that is so hard and challenging, uh, but it's so encouraging when you uh get that deep breath of the Holy Spirit that reminds us, yeah, duh.

That's why I came and when it's like for you, it's like just get it together.

It's like thank God for Jesus' grace that uh we'll never get it together this side of heaven fully, and uh, but he encourages us and walks us along the way to remembering it.

Um, we got just a couple more kind of quick round questions.

Well, you guys have been awesome and sharing uh with us this morning, uh, but to not go too long, I know we've all got Mother's Day plans and so forth.

So a couple of quick round kind of questions.

What does discipling women look like for you during this season, discipling other women look like for you during this season?

Yeah, I think I I came from a background where um I did a lot of one-on-one discipleship.

And uh I think right now a season, the season of discipling other women for me looks like um really being committed to the things that I'm already doing.

That like um, so we're both in DNA groups and being really committed to those women to saying that um I'm coming and I'm committed to being vulnerable and sharing what's really going on.

Um, and I'm committed to confession and I'm committed to um repentance and hearing, you know, hearing you speak into my life.

Um and so just being with other women and having that sense of commitment.

Um, Holly and I run together with another woman at church, and I feel like I told her if I talked about it that I would cry of just a sense of commitment and knowing that I've given you the space in my life to say, hey, like you're wrong, and um, and I love you, and we're gonna work this out and walk in it together, and I love you enough to not let you stay there.

Yeah.

Um, and so I just feel like a commitment to other women has really been in things that I'm and I'm doing.

We need to exercise.

And so we're already, you know, we're talking and exercising, which is no joke.

I'm sure.

Yeah, yeah.

I can barely breathe in exercise.

So Amen.

That's all I have to say.

Amen.

That's my answer.

There you go.

Um how's the Lord been using you to engage with other women in your neighborhood, city, life?

Yeah.

Um, I think I'll say that Tyler and I may are are really intentional about uh being seen.

And so I feel like we spend a lot of time outside.

Um one thing that we outside you.

I was thinking like you just have no blinds on your house.

You're just like, we're really intentional.

Anti-blinds.

No, um, I think one thing that sounds so crazy, but before we had children, we actually got a dog and kept a leash on him constantly so that if I saw a neighbor outside, we would just dart out.

Oh, it would be like any excuse to get out and meet someone.

So that's really why we got a dog.

Um and uh but being seen being really intentional with that, um, but I one thing I've realized is that I feel like as moms, you can get so wrapped up in your routine and the things that you, you know, you just have going on.

Um and believing the lie that other moms are also busy doing that.

And one thing I found that God has really used us in our neighborhood is I feel like a lot of times as moms, we're just we just want to be asked to do something.

And I've just asked other moms, uh, you know, you want to come over and have a fire?

You want to cut, you know, what are you doing during nap time?

Um, how far does that monitor stretch?

Uh and so uh yeah, just ask just asking, just being really intentional about asking and uh God being faithful to to that.

So yeah.

Pro tip monitors can stretch super far.

So fa if you have two phones, FaceTime yourself, put the FaceTime camera in your baby's room, and then you can go to a different state, and that stuff still stays on.

You want You want to be able to get back in a in a certain amount of time, but I'm just saying.

Don't say those things to a firefighter's wife.

Yeah.

I might yell at you.

I've yelled at Emily before.

You can't do that.

But Jordan told me I yelled at you for all the wrong reasons.

I should have yelled at you, but it was all the wrong reasons.

It was for the gospel.

Anyway, it was for Jesus.

They really are.

And like Caleb, I love him.

Like the first time we ever meet somebody, he's always like, Do you know God?

And like he's just like this little evangelist.

I love him.

That's awesome.

And so yeah, just getting out and uh being present, being active, and being um just I think transparent and authentic with your neighbors, like really loving them.

I have neighbors that I really love, Christians and non-Christians, and I share the gospel with both of them.

Like Christians need to hear it just as much as uh non-Christians.

We we never graduate from it, right?

So um I just uh yeah, just just being intentional about each person that you come in contact with, like, like Emily was saying, being present and visible in our neighborhood.

And really that's um since I don't I don't currently work, it's just that's kind of the sphere of influence that God's given me is right there in my neighborhood.

And so um just being faithful with those people and just genuinely loving them.

So yeah, that's awesome.

All right, last question.

How would you encourage all of our mothers watching on the live stream this morning?

How would you encourage encourage them during this season?

So specifically when it comes to the pandemic situation, a lot of moms are now uh homeschool moms when they never wanted to be or intended to be.

A lot of moms are having to work from home while trying to homeschool, while trying to do this.

Kids can't go out if it's a bad day.

Quarantine becomes harder, like if it's rainy or anything of that nature.

And so, just what would be uh a word of encouragement you would give to a mom watching today?

Get in the word.

That's the biggest thing I can ever tell anybody is to just be consistently in the word, sacrifice, fight for it, grit your teeth and claw at it like get in the word.

I am not a morning person, I never have been.

My family, even when I was young, can attest that I am not a morning person.

I whine about being.

But you've been hanging out with but Emily's like, you want to go running at 7 a.m.?

I'm like, yeah, I think so.

It's gonna be 37 degrees.

Anyways, um, no, but uh over the past maybe year and a half, the Lord has just made me realize like if I want to be in the word and I want to grow and I want to have something real to cling to, um, it's gonna have to be in the morning.

It has to be first things, you know.

Um, and so uh the Lord has worked in my heart to teach me.

I usually throw my cell phone across the room with the alarm on it so that I have to get out of bed.

I can't press snooze, otherwise I will.

I will press news until my kids wake up.

And so um just uh yeah, get in the word because that's really the only thing of substance that we have to cling to.

Um, and you know, to the mom that is uh or the or the mom or the you know woman that is struggling with infertility, like that is the God's promises are the only thing that we have to stand on.

And I, you know, that's not something that I've ever struggled with, but I just want that mom to know that his promises are real and they're true, and I want you to know them.

So get in your word and learn them.

Like that's the one thing that we can when we're unsure of anything else, that's the one thing that we can be sure of.

Yeah, mine was man, I love the mornings.

I can't believe you guys don't love the mornings.

Oh, 6 a.m.

is my jam.

But but that's what I would mine would be the same.

My exact words for fight for your time.

Nothing, nothing, all of this will be of nothing if you have not drank from God's word.

Um fight for that time.

It's like I am my worst and my ugliest when I haven't been in God's word.

Um, and so yeah, I I there I don't always want to get up early.

Um, but it is it is worth it time and again to fight for your time, to be in God's word, to be a woman of God's word.

Yeah.

And they're like, it doesn't have to be in the morning.

No.

But for me, that's the time that I have found I can only consistently do it.

And like there is grace upon grace for the days that your baby has been up all night long and you just can't get in the word or whatever it is.

But the times that you do on those days, you will never regret it.

You'll be so glad, and the Lord will meet you there.

And there have been so many times, and I've just been like bawling my eyes out, like, what do I do here?

And I just open the Bible and God's like, right there, there's what you needed.

I'm like, okay, there's my drink, there's there's a deep breath, and I can move on with my day.

So He's always faithful to meet me, and I know meet uh anyone who's in their word regularly.

Um, so yeah, awesome.

Well, ladies, thank you so much for sharing with us this morning, being transparent about your struggles, but also being uh rejoicing in the ways that you see God's hand of blessing in your life.

And so we want to say happy Mother's Day to you all, and uh thanks for being a part of this uh gathering this morning uh as we work to celebrate the ministry of motherhood.

So we're gonna go ahead and transition into our response time here at Sacred Mission.

Our band's gonna come back on and lead us through the singing of.