Grace & Peace: A Journey Through the Book of Colossians - Part 5: Home of Peace | Pastor Pablo Morales

Welcome to ECB's weekly sermon podcast. ECB is

an international church in Bangkok, Thailand,

with dozens of nationalities worshiping together.

We invite you to connect with us from wherever

you are through our website, ecb .asia, or our

mobile app. And now we pray that you are blessed

by this week's sermon. Grace and peace. I journey

through the book of Colossians. What we have

discovered in this study is that God wants us

to experience His grace and His peace as we follow

Him. And that grace and peace has to be experienced

personally, internally, and flowing through our

lives. And the study that we will focus on today

will be peace in the context of our homes. But

before we start and get to that place, let's

pray. Lord, your word is always powerful, relevant,

and we are opening it today with so much excitement

and anticipation. Use it to speak to our hearts,

to ignite within us a desire to follow you and

to obey you. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen. Peace

at home is the session for today in the book

of Colossians. Is your home a place of peace?

What the Apostle Paul has told us so far is that

grace and peace has to first be experienced internally.

You have to be rooted in Christ. You have to

understand that Jesus is God. God, your creator,

he redeemed you. When he died for you, he paid

for all of your sins. You have no fear anymore

of rejection. You have been 100 % reconciled

with God because of what Jesus has done. So you

can just rest in his peace. Just be rooted in

Christ. But... That grace and that peace that

you experience in your life is meant to flow

through you because grace does not stop with

you, it flows through you. And what we learned

last week is that grace is flowing through us

into our relationships. Where we see people,

their faults and their needs, changes. And now

we let the grace of God flow through us and meet

us in that space of relationships. to grace and

peace flowing from us into our home life. And

that's why I asked you at the beginning, is your

home a place of peace? In fact, if I were to

ask you, what would be one word that would describe

your home life growing up? Oh, that's when we

start realizing whether your home was a place

of peace or not. When we ask Nelson that question,

Nelson says, no, my home was just a place of

fights. I remember my father worked for the Air

Force, so he would be traveling lots of the time.

He was pretty much absent. But as a man working

for the military, he was a womanizer. So anytime

he came home, there was fights at home. And he

remembers seeing some plates flying, some dishes

flying while his parents were fighting all the

time. Alcoholism got involved. Mom would get

drunk at some moments to try to deal with her

pain of the adulteries. And that is where he

grew up until he came to know Christ when he

was a teenager, age 14. The truth is that for

many of us, our upbringing was not marked by

a home that was a place of peace. And yet now

we are following Jesus, and now we are called

to let God's grace flow through us into our own

homes. And now we are building our homes, but

is our home a place of peace? Or are we repeating

the same things that we saw in our upbringing?

What the Apostle Paul will do in this section

is that he's going to be very precise addressing

the Christians in Colossae who were mainly Gentiles.

And he is going to help them understand that

following Jesus brings with it a whole different

mindset about our home life. To understand what

he's addressing, we need to look at the background

of the cultural context that has shaped the way

they thought of family life. And this is where

you realize that these Christians of the first

century in this small city in the nation today

called Turkey, that little place called Colossae

was a place where these Christians were shaped

by the Greco -Roman culture. Before they came

to know Christ, their families were functioning

already in light of the culture they came from.

And one of the dominant mindsets about family

life, what was called paterfamilias. And the

goal of this family unit was conceived as a microcosm

of the state. And the primary words that would

describe this kind of mindset was fear. power,

and control. In fact, we have some historical

documents by either historians or philosophers

from all that era of the Roman Empire, early

Roman Empire and later Roman Empire, that shed

light into our understanding of how they thought

of family. And let me take you through some of

them. Now, just to be clear, in case you're new

to church and Christianity and all of that stuff,

what I'm reading is not the Bible. These are

just quotations from historical books that help

us understand the Greco -Roman mindset about

family. Listen to this one from Aristotle. The

first and smallest parts of a household are,

first, master and slave, husband and wife, father

and children, for the male is by nature fitter

for command. Then the female, just as the elder

and full grown, is over the younger and immature.

You notice I highlighted certain words here because

they start giving us the flavor. The husband

was the master and was conceived as a person

to exercise command. Then you have another writing

from Philip of Alexandria. A woman is best when

she is most obedient to her husband. Her life

and behavior are regulated by the will of her

husband. She had to be regulated by the husband.

Therefore, her will is seen as something that

needs to be subdued. She has to obey the husband

because he is the master. Look at Plutarch. A

wife ought not to make friends of her own. but

to enjoy her husband's friends in common with

him. The gods are the first and most important

friends. Therefore, a wife ought to worship and

know only the gods her husband believes in. So

the wife could not have agency. She could not

have friendships. She could not have convictions,

spiritual convictions of her own. She had to

be completely in her personhood, be absorbed

into the personhood of the husband. And look

at this one from Gaius. Our children, whom we

have begotten in lawful marriage, are in our

power. This power is peculiar to Roman citizens,

for there are hardly any other men who have such

power over their children as we have over ours.

The relationship with our children was about

power. And in their context, Our children were

considered our property. They were not just begotten,

we would say, we created them. And they are our

own. To the point that in the earlier Roman history

of the empire, a father had the authority to

even kill the children if he saw fit. Complete

power over the children. Not authority, but power.

So you can start seeing that the mindset of the

Greco -Roman household influenced by this cultural

context. If you were to ask who is the center

of this home, the answer was the husband. He's

the master of this place. And what is the motive

of this home? Well, our motive is civic order

through power and submission. Make sure that

the wife is behaving and the children are obeying.

And he's going to do everything in his power

to make sure that they're subdued. And then what

is the pursuit of this family then? We want to

preserve our reputation. And we want to maintain

order. Because the order in the family is considered

the foundation of the civic order in the Roman

Empire. That's why the family was considered

a microcosm of the Roman state. is how the Christians

in Colossae would have thought of family life.

Now, we come from lots of different cultures,

and depending on the country you came from, the

upbringing you have, you were also shaped by

that cultural understanding of what family life

was like, of what were the roles in that family.

And that's why when the apostle Paul writes to

these Christians in Colossae, he has to tell

them, look, if you're going to experience God's

grace and his peace flowing through you into

your family life, and if your home will be a

home of peace, you will have to start shifting

the way you've been taught. To think about family.

And you will have to start thinking about your

family life. From the perspective of Jesus. If

you are following Jesus. You will have to now

learn Jesus. Shape the way you think of your

home. And now that's why the Apostle Paul will

write this. And now we open the book of Colossians

Colossians 3 · chapter mention

chapter 3. And see what he says. Guys. If you

are following Jesus, if you want to have his

grace and peace shape your life, this is what

you need to do. Let the message about Christ

in all its richness fill your lives. Don't compartmentalize

your religious life on Sundays and your private

life the rest of the week. No. The word of Christ

in all of his richness fill your lives. Teach,

counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives.

Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to

God with thankful hearts. May God be the center

of your life and your conversations and your

interactions. And whatever you do or say, Do

it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving

thanks through him to God the Father. Let this

role of following Jesus and being an outflow

of his grace and his peace permeate every aspect

of your life, whatever you do or say. Remember,

you are representing who? Jesus. Therefore, Wives,

submit to your husband as is fitting for those

who belong to the Lord. You are going to submit

to your husband as an act of obedience to Jesus.

Husbands, you need to love your wives and never

treat them harshly. Loving, we learned last week.

There are many words in Greek and the word that

is here is agape. The word for love. That means

loving sacrificially. Regardless whether the

person deserves it or not. You are going to be

an outflow of God's grace. Because God loves

that person unconditionally. And so will you.

So husband. You are going to love your wife sacrificially

with the same unconditional love that God has

given you. And you are not going to treat your

wife harshly as the master exercising power over

the weaker person. No. Children, always obey

your parents for this pleases the Lord. You're

going to obey them not because you're afraid

of them. You're going to obey them not because

this is good for you and it's convenient. You're

going to obey them because Jesus wants you to

obey them. He calls you to honor your parents.

So you're going to do this out of your allegiance

to Jesus. And parents, fathers, do not aggravate

your children or they will become discouraged.

Do not treat them so harshly that now you're

exercising power over them and treating them

as if they were your property. No. Because that

will make them feel discouraged. Instead, you

will have to learn to love them with the same

love that Jesus has for you. And that's all he

writes to them. Interestingly, if you look at

the map, The city of Colossae was right there,

very close to another Gentile city called Ephesus.

You can see them in the map, very close to each

other. And the Apostle Paul also wrote another

letter to the people in Ephesus. And this was

also one of the letters he wrote from prison.

And interestingly, he tells them something very

similar. Look at what he told the church next

door. He told them, wives, submit yourselves

to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For

the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ

is the head of the church, his body of which

he is the Savior. The husband is not the master

over this home and exercises power. No, he is

the head of this family, the person who is ultimately

responsible for the health of this home. And

because he is ultimately responsible, then you,

wife, need to respect that role and submit to

his headship. And you do this. out of your respect

for the Lord. Husband, you need to love your

wife just as Christ loved the church and gave

himself up for her. Jesus was willing to die

for the church to bring that salvation. That's

the love of Jesus. So you, husband, you need

to love your wife to the point that you are willing

to die for her well -being. You love her sacrificially.

And he says at the end of this entire section,

each of you also must love his wife as he loves

himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

That's the summary. Husband, love your wife sacrificially

as you will love your own body and your own needs.

Treat her the same. And wife, just respect your

husband. Simple. And he summarizes all of that.

From that angle. To both churches. Telling them

the same thing. Now you can understand. That

for this Christian. In the church of the Colossians.

When he is reading these things. It's like what?

What are you talking about? Me loving? Me being

a head? I'm a master. I have power. I have legal

power. Over my wife. She has no legal voice.

I am her representative in the eyes of the law,

and my children are my property. What are you

talking about? My role as a husband, as the master

and the owner of power here, is to make sure

that I subdue them so I can govern them well,

because that's how we govern this empire. And

now you are telling me... Something about loving,

like Jesus loved. We don't talk about loving

our home. We talk about power and submission.

Yeah. But love? So suddenly, what the Apostle

Paul is writing to them is completely redefining

their perspective and understanding of what life

in home was supposed to be. And unless they understood,

God's design for the home, then that home will

never be a place of peace. Because it will be

a place of fear, power, and control. And in fear,

power, and control, there's no grace, there's

no love, there's no peace. So if you and I want

to make our homes a place of peace, And experience

peace in that realm, we have to first start by

understanding God's design. And the way he does

it is very simple. He says, look Colossians,

fathers, husbands, you think that you are the

master of that home? That you are at the center?

Let me tell you, you are wrong. The Lord of your

home has a name and his name is Jesus. Jesus

is the Lord of your home. And because Jesus is

the Lord of your home, everything that you do

as a husband, everything that you do as a wife,

everything that you do as a child, you are ultimately

accountable to Jesus. So the way you treat your

wife, accountable to Jesus. The way the wife

treats the husband, accountable to Jesus. The

way I treat my children, accountable to Jesus.

Jesus is the Lord of your home if Jesus is your

Savior. Secondly, because you are in Christ and

you have been 100 % reconciled and redeemed,

now both you, husband and wife, are equally valuable

before God's eyes. One of you is not superior

to the other. One of you is not inferior to the

other. You are both equal partners in the gospel.

And you are both called to serve Lord Jesus.

But when I was single, I was not a husband. So

I didn't have to worry about understanding my

role as a husband. When my wife was single, she

was not a wife. She didn't have to worry about

understanding her role and functions as a wife.

But the day that both of you decided to enter

this covenant of marriage, now you who are called

to serve the gospel as equal partners for Christ

have now acquired two different roles. And Pablo,

you as the husband of this household, you have

the role of being ultimately responsible for

the health of this home. And therefore, I'm going

to call you and that role of being ultimately

responsible, the head. So if something goes wrong

in this family, you are the one that I'm going

to sit down to talk to. What did you do about

it? How did you react? Did you pursue me in all

of the things that you were doing at your home?

And wife, because you are serving me, and I have

asked your husband to be ultimately responsible

for this household, I need you to not be controlling

and start treating him as you are in charge,

and you are ultimately responsible, first of

all, because that is not going to bring peace

to you. You are going to be frustrated. So no,

learn to treat him as the one who is ultimately

responsible, and the way you will do this is

by respecting him. Because the moment he feels

disrespected, peace goes out of the window. And

the moment he starts treating you harshly, peace

goes out of the window. So now you both are serving

me, but now you have different roles. So do this

out of reverence for me, because I am the Lord

of this house. And I gave you children. And if

I entrust you with their lives, you have to understand

that these children are my gift to you. They're

not an annoyance, an obstacle for your career

goals. No. They are your first ministry. Because

these children. I'm entrusting to you. So that

you can teach them my way. So they will grow

to know me. And to love me. And to serve me.

I created them. I have plans for them. I will

take care of their future. But you. You are going

to work together. To show my love. And my grace.

Through you into their lives. So they will come

to know me. And love me. And serve me. So children.

Because I am the Lord of this household. You

have to understand that treating your parents

with honor and with respect is not about your

parents. It's about honoring me. Because that

is what I am calling you to do. Honor your father

and your mother. That is the first command with

a promise. This is my design for the family.

And once you understand it. And once you practice

it, then you will start experiencing a very different

kind of peace in your home. And your home will

truly become a place of peace. Wow. It's like

you're talking a whole different language. That

has nothing to do with what we Colossians...

knew about family. It's like I have to learn

a whole new way of thinking on my role, the way

I treat my wife, my children. Wow. Right, because

before, it was a whole different structure. Who

is the center of this Christian household? Well,

Jesus. And what is the motive of this household?

Well, we're here to love Jesus. And what are

we pursuing as a family? Well, to serve God.

So the household of those who are following Jesus

was meant to be not a microcosm of the state,

but a microcosm of the kingdom of light. A microcosm

of the kingdom of Jesus. Where those of us responsible

for this household are loving Jesus, following

Jesus, honoring Jesus. And everything permeates

from there down. Once you see the contrast between

the two, it was at the core, completely different.

And the reason why this matters so much. It's

because, well, nowadays you fast forward 2 ,000

years since this letter to the Colossians was

written. And now we understand so much more about

psychology, about psychiatry, about the way the

brain works, about emotional systems that we

create, about trauma. And the gospel has the

power to meet us there and bring healing into

the deepest parts of our being. And the problem

is that if I grow up or I create a household

that is not after the model of Jesus, it's going

to be dysfunctional. So think about a home where

the father is abusive, where the father is aggressive,

where the father is controlling. That does describe

your home? Well, you can tell that was not a

place of peace, was it? Where the wife is controlling.

Where she disrespects the husband all the time.

And the husband becomes numb and absent and quiet

and disengaged. Does that describe your home?

That's not a place of peace, is it? Imagine a

home where the children are treated harshly all

the time. Where they are never told that they

are loved. They are never told that they are

a gift from God. Children that they survived

abortion attempts. Children that were abandoned

by their parents. Or children that had a home

where the parents were completely disengaged

emotionally. Does that describe your home? Well,

that was not a place of peace, was it? Any change

that you do to the Jesus model of the household

will create... one type of dysfunction or another.

And any household that was shaped by dysfunction

will start shaping dysfunction and trauma in

us. And these words that you see on the screen

summarize many of the wounds and the emotional

paths that we have created as a result of growing

in dysfunctional homes. Suffering from low self

-worth, having poor boundaries, having fear of

intimacy, having issues with mistrust, identity

confusion, chronic anxiety, a sense of helplessness,

low self -confidence, hyper -vigilance, suppressed

voice, fear, insecure attachment, emotional numbness,

anger, aggression, self -blame, shame. Avoidance.

All of these behaviors are rooted to traumas

that we experience in an upbringing of a home

where Jesus was not the Lord. And if this describes

you, now you have to understand why the Apostle

Paul says, Christians, if you're going to follow

Jesus, You need to experience his peace in your

home. And until you start exercising grace in

your homes, and until you make me Lord of your

homes, peace will not follow. And instead of

peace, you will experience these things. So reading

this section makes me ask very important questions,

almost like diagnostic questions for my own life.

And my own effort in building our home in that

direction. Now you have to understand that building

a home where Jesus is Lord. It's almost like

trying to stay healthy as you are aging. Been

there? I'm just starting my journey in that place.

I think it starts after you turn 50. But it's

like very intentional. You have to stay healthy.

And you're always achieving but never arriving.

And building a home where Jesus is Lord is like

that. It's very intentional. You're always achieving

but never arriving. Never lower your guards.

First question. Who is the center of your home?

You? Your children? Your in -laws? Or Jesus?

See, Nelson came to know Jesus when he was 14.

So all of his life, he did not know what it was

like to have a home where Jesus was the Lord.

What was the center of his home was emotions

and feelings from a failed marriage that was

going all over the place. That was at the center.

So when... He came to know the Lord and then

he got married when he was 19. To his 21 year

old wife. Yes, they were crazy. Super early as

they started their family. And Nelson says, you

know, I did not know what I was doing. I had

never seen a home where Jesus was Lord. But I

was so desperately needed Jesus to be Lord of

our home. So when we got married. One of the

first things I pray, I say, Jesus, I do not know

how to do this, but I'm inviting you into my

home because I do not know how to do it. Be the

center of this family. And sometimes some of

the most powerful prayers are the ones that are

the least eloquent. It's just... This despair

of recognition. I have no idea how to be the

head of this household. I do not know how to

love sacrificially. I do not know what it's like

to be told you are loved. So I do not know what

it's like to tell my children that I love them.

I have no idea. But I'm inviting you, Jesus,

to be the Lord of this home. Who is the center?

The second question is, what is your motive?

Are you doing this because you are loving God?

And therefore in this household we do what we

do because in this household we love God? Or

our motive is to make sure that we grow older

with more money. And therefore everything we

do is just to make sure that these children are

successful in school. elementary and then high

school and then college and get a good career

so they can get a good check when they start

working is that the motive or is the motive that

no i want my children to become successful and

that they are there because they are my security

blanket as we call it because when i grow older

they are the ones that are going to take care

of me so are you Leading your home for selfish

motives? For your own love rather than the love

of God? The third question. Does your spouse

feel loved? I remember that when I was in my

first year of marriage. We both loved Jesus.

We both believed in Jesus. We both were studying

in seminary our master's degrees so that we could

serve Jesus in ministry. That was a household

in which we got married and we invited Jesus

to be the center when we started at the beginning

of our marriage. But one day, my wife showed

me these pants that she got very good deal, discounted.

And then she was so excited because they fit

so well. And this was like a great pair of pants.

And she was working full time at that time when

we were going to seminary. And one day I thought,

you know what, I'm going to help her. You know,

she's very busy, so I'm going to do laundry.

So I took the laundry, I did the laundry, put

the stuff in the washing machine, then the dryer

machine, then I got everything. And I was so

loving. Until she came home and started looking

at the clothes and she tried to put her pants

on that they would no longer fit because they

shrunk. And at that moment, she let me know that

she was not happy with my decision of not reading

like any normal person would do. The description

in the pants that says, do not put in the dryer.

And she took those pants and she stood in front

of me and she said, You shrunk my pants. And

at that moment, I got so upset that I stopped

talking to her for about three days. There's

a video that is in right now media that is called

The Crazy Cycle. And one of the things that the

pastor says, you know, one of the things we discover

in marriage is that when we enter in conflict,

When the husband feels disrespected, he reacts

in ways that are harsh and make the wife feel

unloved. And when the wife feels unloved, she

reacts in ways that are disrespectful and they

make the husband feel disrespected. And when

the husband feels disrespected, he starts reacting

in ways that are harsh and make her feel unloved.

And when she feels unloved, She reacts in ways

that are disrespectful, and I can go on forever.

That's why it's called the crazy cycle. And that's

one of the things that we learn in that first

year of marriage. That if even saying Jesus is

the center of our home, we had a Christian wedding,

we love God, we are here to serve Him, that doesn't

mean that we know how to love each other. And

I can be a harsh husband, and she can be a disrespectful

wife. We all have that potential within us. That's

why what Paul says is like, husbands, don't be

harsh with them. Wives, don't be disrespectful

with them. That is not how you're going to experience

peace. And thankfully, when Jesus is the center

and the Holy Spirit starts convicting you, you

come together and you apologize. And you say,

what I did was wrong. I should not have treated

you that way. Please forgive me. This is not

honoring to God. And at the end, we pray together.

And we acknowledge before God that we have failed

at doing the things according to his design.

And we rest in his grace and his forgiveness

so that his peace can flow into our home. Does

your spouse feel loved? That's perhaps a question

that you have to ask your spouse. Do your children

feel loved? That's another important question.

Because even though we love our children, we

can be harsh with them. And yeah, every time

that we had a new child that we welcomed into

our home, we were thankful to God and we had

a dedication service and we dedicated those children

to God. And our children are a gift from the

Lord. And we tell them all the time that we love

them. We want them to know that they are not

an inconvenience into our lives or a disruption.

They're a gift from God. But even though that

is true, there are moments in which I have lost

my temper. I have gotten frustrated. I want to

remember that in our home in Dallas one day,

I got so upset I was in the bathroom while one

of my sons was taking a shower. And he had a

sassy attitude. And I got so upset and I don't

know what it is about my emotional makeup that

whenever I feel angry, I just feel it here. It's

like I want to, oh, I just want to hit something.

You know, it's like that's where the energy comes

out from. So maybe you're like that too. It's

like other people want to just yell or whatnot.

Not me. I'm very cool. But that's where. And

I remember that day I went like this on the wall,

and I made a hole in the wall. And we were like

all shocked. And thankfully it was behind where

the towel, where we were hanging the towels.

It was like, put the towel back there. Until

we got it fixed. But even something like so simple

can mark your child. And your child can feel

now intimidated rather than respected and inspired

and loved. Do your children feel loved? Do your

parents feel loved? Because you may be a grown

-up child now, but you're still, The child of

your parents. And God says in my design you are

called to honor your parents. Not because they

are good parents. But because without them you

wouldn't exist. You owe your very existence to

that mother and to that father. And therefore

you have to treat them with honor. And if they

were bad parents you would have to let my grace

flow. Through you so that you will let me love

them through you. With my love flowing through

you. Do your parents feel loved? And finally,

have you forgiven your family? Because all of

these dysfunctions that we have discovered are

rooted in growing up in a household where Jesus

was not the Lord and peace was not present. All

of these behaviors are connected to some of the

roots of bitterness that these things create.

And that's why in Colossians, in the previous

verses, the Apostle Paul said you need to forgive.

But in Hebrews, it talks about this very specifically.

And I would like to add to this study almost

like an appendix. Based on what I have learned

in working with followers of Jesus in the privacy

of the counseling office, if you are marked by

a family in your upbringing that was not a place

of peace, where Jesus was not Lord, if you carry

any woundedness from there, this is for you.

Would you read this aloud with me? A couple of

verses. Make every effort to live in peace with

everyone and to be holy. Without holiness, no

one will see the Lord. See to it that no one

fails short of the grace of God and that no bitter

root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

Make every effort to live in what? Peace with

whom? Everyone. Be holy. A line to God's design.

And therefore, do not miss the grace of God as

a channel. Do not choose to say, no, God, I don't

want your grace to flow through me. No, don't

miss God's grace. Let that grace flow through

you. Do not choose to let bitterness take over.

Because bitterness will cause trouble and defile

many. And this is how that works. Let me show

you as a graphic these things. When you feel

hurt, you are going to react one of two ways.

The most common way which is being addressed

here is that you are going to feel hurt and you're

going to have bitterness and you're going to

become reactive and you're going to give them

what they deserve. And what they deserve is that

you stop talking to them for three days. What

they deserve is that you throw your pants in

front of them. What they deserve is that you

yell at them and make a hole in the wall. That's

what they deserve. Whenever you feel hurt, you're

going to react in ways that are not God's peace.

And that, in turn, is going to create turmoil

within you and it's going to come out. It's going

to contaminate your relationships. And that,

as a result, is going to get you stuck into all

these emotions that are within you. Anger, rage,

brawling, slander, malice, all of these things

now are within you. And now you compromise because

you are under spiritual oppression. You have

given the devil a foothold. And this is the path

of bitterness. The path of grace, when you are

a channel of God's grace, is very different.

Grace is proactive and gives people what they

need. And what they need is not that I stop talking

to them. What they need is that I engage and

that I listen and that I apologize. That is what

they need. Giving people what they need, regardless

of what they deserve, can only be done when we

are loving sacrificially. And that is being aligned

with the Holy Spirit. Therefore, if I have been

hurt in any way by my upbringing, and I'm suffering

from any of these unhealthy emotions that are

controlling me, That is a sign that these roots

of bitterness need to come out. And the only

way that they come out is by me forgiving. And

forgiving is not saying, oh, everything is fine,

Lord. I forgive him now. It's okay. No. Forgiveness

is coming face to face with your pain, with your

anger. It's allowing yourself to enter that space

you are trying to avoid. And you tell God, God,

I hate my father for what he did to me. Why would

he speak to me that way? If he really loved me,

he would have never said that. Ah, now you're

taking business. Now you're becoming vulnerable

with the Lord. But after you get in touch with

that anger before the Lord, now you're able to

get it all out. Spit it out. Vomit it out. Say

it exactly as it is. While you are feeling. While

you are thinking. Let it out. If you need to

hit the pillow. Hit the pillow. Just don't make

a hole in the wall. Because you will have to

pay for the repair. Tell the Lord everything

that you are feeling. But after you have come

face to face with your anger. And with your resentfulness.

And with every hurt that you have. Now you can

tell the Lord, but Lord, I'm giving you this

pain. I don't want this bitterness in my life.

I forgive it in the name of Jesus. Take it. That

is what forgiveness looks like. It's not avoiding

your anger. It's not numbing it. It's coming

face to face with it and letting it out of your

system in God's presence because he's the only

one that heals the brokenhearted and bandages

their wounds. So if you have found yourself stuck

on the bottom of this graphic, the only way that

you will align yourself with God's grace and

restore peace in your home is by entering into

the path of forgiveness. That is how that works.

Let me give you a couple of resources. If you

want to learn more about things you are facing

in your family, there is a ministry called Focus

on the Family. They have a website, focusonthefamily

.com. They have a YouTube channel, Focus on the

Family. Excellent source for Christian resources

to help in your marriage and your parenting.

Everything about family you will find there.

Secondly, In Right Now Media, as I mentioned

earlier, as a church, we sponsor a free account

for anyone here. If you don't have your Right

Now Media account, it's like a Netflix account,

but with Christian studies, movies, documentaries.

And within that, there's a crazy cycle. So if

you are in a marriage, go there, check the crazy

cycle. It's a short couple of sessions. It will

tell you how to break the cycle of reacting harshly

and reacting disrespectfully. Fascinating, simple,

yet very relevant. Thirdly, just in a few weeks

from now, August 23rd, we will begin the new

season of the marriage course. The marriage course

meets on Saturdays here. We provide a nice dinner.

It's video -based. Time for you to spend time

with your spouse in reflecting about your marriage

and growing in your relationship. We will open

registration. In the upcoming days. But these

things get filled quickly. So remember this is

coming soon. And I want you to be aware of it.

So after giving you those resources. Let me conclude

this study by simply saying this. First. Why

don't you take time to invite Jesus. To be the

center of your home. If you have never done so.

She said, yeah, Pastor Paolo, but my spouse is

not a believer. So Jesus cannot be the center

of our home. Well, Jesus is the center of your

life. And Paul told the Corinthians, if you are

married to an unbeliever, you are God's presence

in that home. And God has the power to use you,

his presence in that home, to bring salvation

eventually. So invite Jesus to be the center

of your home. And I'm so thankful that even though

Nelson grew up in a home where there was fights

and adultery and all these things, as a 19 -year

-old, he prayed, God, I do not know how to do

this, but be the center of this home, because

that was my home. And Nelson was my father, is

my father. God can redeem any story, and he can

use you. to bring transformation in your home

in ways that you do not imagine. Would you invite

Jesus today to be the center of your home? And

secondly, would you invite God to encounter you

in your bitterness and enter into that space

of forgiving your family, forgiving your parents,

forgiving your in -laws, forgiving your siblings,

anyone that has hurt you in your home? Would

you bring it to the cross and let the grace of

God flow through you? That is what the Apostle

Paul wants us to experience, his grace and his

peace in our homes. So I do not know you, but

I'm done with making holes in the wall. I'm done

with doing the cold treatment. I'm done being

the Lord of my home. I need Jesus to be the Lord

of my home. Is he? Father, you have the power

to transform not only our lives, but to redeem

our homes. And we intercede for our homes. We

intercede for our marriages, for our parents,

for our children. Teach us what it's like to

be a home of peace. So that in this place, you

indeed are the center. In the powerful name of

Jesus, we pray. Amen. If God is calling you to

support our ministries, you will find giving

options on our website. And remember to join

us next week. God bless you.