Spiritual Lessons from our Walk with God - Part 1: To Judge or Not to Judge? | Scott Hayden

Welcome to ECB's weekly sermon podcast. ECB is

an international church in Bangkok, Thailand,

with dozens of nationalities worshiping together.

We invite you to connect with us from wherever

you are through our website, ecb .asia, or our

mobile app. And now we pray that you are blessed

by this week's sermon. Years ago, my wife Christine

and I attended a training conference. As part

of this training, they put us in small groups,

separated us. I went with my small group to a

room. My wife Christine went to another small

group. And there were hundreds of people, I think,

many small groups in our room. And when we got

in the room, they announced, this is the bomb

shelter exercise. And the facilitator took over

and said, You are now in a bomb shelter, and

we're going to pretend the nukes are falling.

They haven't fallen yet. We have time to make

a few decisions before we're locked in here for

a long time. We went through these exercises.

I suppose the leaders were watching to try to

figure out what kind of character we had, how

we could manage group dynamics and things like

that. Went through the exercises, finished. came

out. I returned to the main meeting hall, maybe

as big as this space here, and met Christine,

and she was sobbing. The tears were going down

her face because someone in her bomb shelter,

not the facilitator, someone else kind of assumed

leadership and wanted to vote her out of the

room because she was only a nurse and there was

a doctor outside and they wanted to trade. And

I thought, What kind of guy is that? And I thought,

and she pointed out, there he is over there.

I didn't recognize him. He was a stranger to

me, but I studied his face. Memorizing features.

And I said to myself, self, if that guy ever

tries to work where I work, it ain't going to

happen. I didn't have authority to make that

decision. I would just do whatever I could to

keep someone like that. This was an incident

for me that is a milestone because God dropped

something on my heart. I had something I needed

to learn to judge or not to judge. Because if

there's one scripture, even people that do not

go to church, one scripture many know, it's Jesus'

words, do not judge. What many people don't know

is that within about five breaths, Jesus also

said, do not give what is sacred to dogs. Do

not throw your pearls to pigs. And by context,

he was talking about people. What? Jesus called

people dogs and pigs? He did call certain kinds

of people dogs and pigs. That's judgmental. Right.

Do not judge, but you need to judge. What's going

on here? So as we get into our study for today,

to judge or not to judge, I want to break this

down into three driving questions. First of all,

why is this not a simple question? Shouldn't

the answer just be, do not judge? Isn't that

what we've said to other people? Second driving

question, what kinds of judgment are there? And

third driving question, how do we discern what

kind of judgment to use and when to use it? All

right. So to judge or not to judge. Why is this

not a simple question? What kinds of judgment

are there and how do we discern what kind of

judgment and when to use it? Now, I'm sorry I'm

not doing fancy hand motions and certainly not

a dance, but you can engage in a new way today.

We're going to do some sanctified imagination.

So in a moment, I'm going to ask you to close

your eyes and picture your workstation. I call

it your workstation. For some of us, that's a

private study or an office desk. For some of

you, your workstation. involves more people.

You work mostly in group, maybe a conference

table, maybe a service counter. Some of you work

in an in and out place like a kitchen, a restaurant,

whatever. I need you to choose your common workstation

and I want you to go into your head right now.

Close your eyes. Picture it. You're standing

in it. This is the place you get stuff done.

Look to your left. What's there? Look straight

ahead. What kind of equipment is around you?

Look to the right. Remind yourself of this environment.

You may open your eyes. We will re -enter this

workstation a few times during our talk together,

and I'm going to ask you to rearrange some things.

So let's get into our ideas here. To judge or

not to judge. Why is this not a simple question?

Jesus said it this way. Do not judge or you too

will be judged. For in the same way you judge

others, you will be judged. And with the measure

you use, it will be measured to you. You see,

judgment invites judgment. In the same way you

judge others, it comes back. That can be positive.

If you're a kind person who practices charitable

judgment, when you hear part of a story, and

instead of constructing the rest of the story

with the worst possible scenario, you give them

the benefit of the doubt. That's what love does.

It chooses to think the best until there's evidence

to say otherwise. Old church doctrine called

that the doctrine of charitable judgment. We

can judge well. And that infiltrates. Must be

the beard. Can you still hear me? And that what

we put out as judgment helps create the atmosphere

because judgment invites judgment. And our example

gives other people permission. To do the same

thing. There's an English proverb that says.

What goes around comes around. There's a Thai

proverb that says. Do good get good. Do bad get

bad. What kind of atmosphere do you want in your

workstation? Because Jesus is telling us. That

there is a kind of judgment. That we should not

be practicing. It's what you don't want to get

back. You don't want that harsh, they only heard

part of the story and then they decide they know

your character. You don't want that final summary

portrait of you that they're going to carry around

with bitterness for the rest of their life or

your life. You don't want that. There's a reason

that judges are few and far between and most

of us are not allowed to bang that thing and

declare people guilty. It takes a lot of study.

To control your own emotions, to look carefully

at a case, to decide what evidence is allowed

and what evidence is not allowed, and to decide

which laws apply and which don't, and who is

responsible. That is a huge mental and emotional

discipline to practice. So governments are careful

who they appoint, and judges don't always get

it right. But the idea that we can take someone's

character and say, I know all about them, therefore

they're this kind of person, and that's what

you imagine about them the rest of your life,

that's not our job. God has a gavel, and it's

bigger than ours. So, imagine the gavel, and

please enter your workstation. Close your eyes.

See whatever your workstation is. Whether you're

right -handed or left -handed, if you look, you

didn't notice it before, but you actually have

a gavel up in the corner by your dominant hand.

It's just human habit. It's there. But, keep

imagining, God, your Heavenly Father, enters

your workstation. He taps you on the shoulder.

And he holds out his hand. Now you have a choice.

Will you pick up the gavel and give it up to

him? You may open your eyes. To judge or not

to judge. Why is this not a simple question?

Because the consequences of judging are real.

What we give out can come back. That's not all.

Jesus also said, why do you look at the speck

of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention

to the plank in your own eye? Notice there's

really no action here. It's all just looking

and judging. You got this and you don't notice

anything about yourself. Jesus actually does

not answer the question. He probably thinks we

can figure it out, right? Maybe we're... Why?

Let's see. Why do we do this? Why? Maybe we're

insecure. We don't think well enough of ourselves

that we can admit what's not well about ourselves.

Maybe we're afraid to admit that we have faults.

If that's one of your whys, go watch Zootopia

2. There's a fantastic scene about oversharing.

I recommend it. Maybe we know we're guilty. We

know the log. My hair doesn't grow that fast.

Maybe we know the log is there. And so we're

deflecting attention to other people so people

don't notice. Maybe we think we have the speck

and they have the log. As Tim Pollard says from

Peacemaker Ministries, you may be only 2 % responsible

for a problem, but you are 100 % responsible

for your 2%. If that's something worth thinking

on, consider taking the study Resolving Everyday

Conflict. We offer it live here once, sometimes

twice a year, but it's also available through

RightNow Media. a video Bible study library that

ECB can offer to you. So look up the slides later,

scan the QR code. That will give a form where

you submit the email, and the church will reply

to you and show you how to access this and many

other studies. So, quick observation. Look at

the red boxes. Everything's about looking, noticing.

No intention to actually do anything. What kind

of people are those? But it's a contrast to what

Jesus said next. He kind of sort of repeats himself,

but a little change. How can you say to your

brother or sister, let me take the speck out

of your eye? Good. Now we have action. At least

there's an intention to help, right? It's not

the best case scenario, but at least the looker

wants to help. And so Jesus is helping us realize

that judging or not judging is complicated because

motives matter. Why does your heart want to talk

about them? So take this to your workstation.

It's a hand mirror. And let's close our eyes.

And if you want to do some movement, you can

move your hands as you and your Heavenly Father

have some transaction to do. See where the gavel

used to be. I hope you gave it up. God taps your

shoulder and he hands you a mirror. Reach out.

Take the mirror. Put it in the place of the gavel.

You may open your eyes. I'd like to invite my

daughter Susanna up. She's going to help me.

With this next text, as Jesus continues to help

us understand, this is not a simple question.

It's just not all or nothing. Don't judge. It's

more complicated than that. Read for us. How

can you say to your brother or sister, let me

take the speck out of... Susanna! My goodness,

can you... Did you see that? That little bit

in her eye? Here, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay,

okay, look, look. My goodness, Susanna, you have

a huge, like, like log, a tree. Are you not aware

of the protrusion coming from your face? What

are you talking about? I look fine. I'm better

than fine, actually. It's so hypocritical. The

fact that you need a magnifying glass to point

out my flaws. It's huge. Girl, you need to get

that checked out. You need to look at a doctor

or a plastic surgeon. Not just for your eye.

You know what? You are always ruining everything.

And your ego gets in the way of everything. I

cannot get out. Can you believe her? She has

a log in her eye and she won't let me help. My

goodness. Jesus asks a question. How can you

say to your brother or sister, let me take the

speck out of your eye when all the time there's

a plank in your own eye? How can you do that?

Very, very poorly. You'll probably cause more

harm than good. Jesus also talks about when.

You hypocrite, he says to his disciples and the

thousands of people gathered for the Sermon on

the Mount, you hypocrite, first take the plank

out of your eye, and then you will see clearly

to remove the speck from your brother or sister's

eye. Sequence matters. Take care of your own

issues, and then your ability to help will be

there for you. Makes sense. Did he really have

to tell us this? We're an international crowd.

What do they tell us on the airplanes? This is

a seatbelt as if we've not seen those, right?

But they have to do it. And then they go on and

they talk about the oxygen mass falling. And

what do they say? Yours on first before you help

somebody else. And Jesus is saying the same thing.

Why does he even have to say this? Because of

what he gently called us. Or since he's Middle

Eastern, maybe he very just blatantly said, you

hypocrites. The word here means mask wearers.

It's the word for Greek actors. Hypocrite means

hippo means over. The crit is like the mask or

face. You put something over your face so you

can assume a character. And that's what you show.

And in a theater, the audience takes a cue from

the mask. Oh, he's that kind of character. But

Jesus said, hey. I'm not talking to theater people.

I'm talking to all of you. You're wearing masks.

We don't show our true face very often. And sometimes

we wear our masks so long, we begin to believe

ourselves that that's our real face. Why? Is

it not a simple question to judge or not to judge?

Because the sequence matters. You can't even

see properly if you haven't taken care of your

own issues. So I offer you this for your workstation.

Please close your eyes. Walk back into your space

where you get things done. I know giving up the

gavel is hard. Have you done it yet? You've replaced

it with a mirror. Giving up the gavel makes space

for the mirror. But now God, your Heavenly Father,

taps your shoulder again and holds out the coach's

whistle. Because we have a responsibility to

help our brothers and sisters, but only after

checking out yourself. So put the whistle. You

can reach forward if you need to. Reach forward.

Pick up the mirror. Slide the whistle underneath.

Lay the mirror down. Maybe tie the whistle to

the handle of the mirror so you'll remember the

sequence. You may open your eyes. One more reason

why judging or not judging is not a simple question,

and this is what we started to look at before.

Do not give dogs what is sacred. Do not throw

pearls. Your pearls to pigs. If you do, they

may trample them under their feet and turn and

tear you to pieces. There are things that God

values so much. That's what sacred means. Something

he values so much, he claims it for himself,

and he only shares very carefully because it's

a treasure to him. After the passage we're reading

today, Jesus went on to talk about false prophets

and how you could know who they are by their

fruits. That's their patterns of behavior and

the words they say. And Peter, we know, was listening

to this sermon. He took a whole chapter in his

second letter to talk about false prophets. And

he describes their habits and the havoc they

play in your life. groups that they join, and

he ends the chapter by talking about false prophets

as dogs who return to their vomit and pigs who

go back to the mud. These are the kinds of people

who have no value for what you treasure. And

they don't care about you either. But they can

put on a good mask. So Jesus, warns us, there

is a kind of judgment you must exercise to protect

God's treasure that he entrusts to you. If you're

a pastor, a life group leader, an elder, a teacher,

a parent, your treasures are the people that

you guard and guide. If you're lucky enough like

me to have four beautiful daughters, or however

many you have, you understand this. We've always

joked in our family, I'm going to make a T -shirt

for each one of my daughters, and before you

date, you've got to wear the T -shirt. It's going

to have a QR code on the front and back. It says,

if you want to date me, fill out the form. Guess

who gets the form? I do. Guess what kind of questions

are on there? Who's your next of kin? Which body

part are you afraid of losing the most? I have

made the survey, and we've had one young man

fill it out. I gave my daughter to him in marriage,

my first daughter, because he proved he treasured

her as much as I did. And God says to you, you

have treasure. Things of value that you don't

give to just anybody. Why is judging not a simple,

just don't do it? Because the threats are real.

The consequences of not judging when you should

judge are just as real as the consequences of

judging too harshly. So I offer you one more

object for your workstation. A key to a treasure

box. Would you close your eyes, please, and walk

back in your mind to that place where you get

stuff done. The gavel is gone, right? That makes

room for the mirror. The whistle is tied to it

so you can remember the sequence. God taps your

shoulder and he hands you a key. And he says,

I've trusted you with treasures. Keep the key

safe. In your workstation, please decide where

are you going to keep the key. Put it somewhere

you can remember. So we see. You may open your

eyes. We see. To judge or not to judge, it's

not a simple thing. Consequences are real. Motives

matter. Sequence matters. And threats are real.

But what kind of judgments are there? Jesus has

kind of suggested it, but let me do a quick summary

using education and sports, kind of two parallel

domains here. I work in education. We talk about

judgment as assessment, and we talk about two

main kinds of assessment. There's summative assessment,

or you could call it final score keeping in a

sports. Summative assessment is when the term

is done. The exam is graded. The homework's all

handed in. No more chances to improve your grade.

We summarize. This is your performance on the

course. Done. When it comes to people's character

and destiny, we don't get to do that kind of

judgment. We don't get to say, When your life

is done, I know what kind of character you are.

That's why I asked you, give up the gavel. Not

our job. But there's another kind of assessment

in education we call formative assessment. And

that means while I'm teaching, I'm watching faces.

Are they tracking? I may pause in a lecture and

have them talk to each other, and I go around

and listen to what they're saying. Are they getting

it? I may give a little quiz. And it's not just

to get a grade for the grade book. It's so that

I can see what do they understand. And the good

teachers know to do formative assessment ongoing

throughout the lecture, throughout the activities,

constantly checking so that we are informed how

we might need to change the teaching so it reaches

the heart. And formative assessment also informs

the student. How do they need to change their

engagement so they can learn better? Formative

assessment. Or in sports, coaching. If you've

ever been on a good team with a quality coach,

you love the coach's whistle. I mean, you might

be irritated, but he does good things for you

and he makes you perform athletically or musically

or theatrically like you've never performed before.

You won. Formative assessment. The third kind

of, not assessment, but the third kind of judgment

that Jesus, sorry, for formative and coaching,

check the mirror, use the whistle. It's a good

thing. But the third kind of judgment is protective.

Keep the key safe. God has trusted you with treasure.

There's other kinds of judgment too. Might make

an interesting discussion at lunchtime as you

follow up. I'm not claiming to name everything,

but I'm trying to frame what Jesus is calling

us to pay attention to. So let's move on to the

final driving question. How do we discern? The

image up here, I did not pick it, but it worked

out great. There's an old preacher from the 20th

century for three decades. He preached at the

Westminster Chapel in London. His name was Martin

Lloyd -Jones. And his ideas help me understand.

Oh, look at this. There's a road. The road has

deep places off the side. We call them ditches.

And this passage we just looked at tells us,

hey, on one side of the road is harsh, unfair

judgment. And on the other side of the road is

neglect, not judging when we should judge. And

humanity has a habit of walking the road like

a drunk. You got it, right? You fall in one ditch.

Maybe you can crawl out staggered to your feet

just to fall again on the other side. And Jesus

knows this is our habit. So he gives us a way

to judge, choose the right kind of judgment,

know when to judge, but it's not a formula. It's

not a step -by -step method. It's so much better.

Watch this. Ask and keep asking. And it will

be given to you. Seek and keep seeking and you

will find. Knock and keep knocking and the door

will be opened to you. For everyone who asks,

receives. The one who seeks, finds. And to the

one who knocks, the door will be opened. Now,

let's get one thing off, out of our minds. This

is not a formula for getting what you want. This

is a description of a relationship with God.

Asking admits we need things only he can give.

Seeking means he gives us perspective and answers.

Knocking means we need to make some effort. If

he opens that door, are we going to walk through?

Now, here we also see process and results. Asking

is the process. Receiving is the result. Seeking

is a process. Finding is a result. Knocking is

a process. Having it opened is a result. And

your father oversees both process and results.

When my kids were little, in about eight months,

they were learning to crawl. And sometimes we

would take a toy and put it in front of them,

just out of reach. Because when the baby's first

learning the crawl, they're down on all fours

and they're kind of rocking back and forth. And

then they lift up that one hand and they fall

over. Right? And they do it again and they lift

and they fall over. But with something out of

reach, they've got that little bit of motivation

to get that hand up and hang in there. Right?

Did we want them to have the toy and have some

fun? Sure. We were half -decent parents. What

did we want more? Muscle development, endurance,

coordination. So we honored the process and let

them struggle sometimes under our supervision.

Your Heavenly Father oversees your process of

asking, seeking, knocking. And if He's making

you wait for results, it means He knows the process

is shaping you. Most important thing God wants

to give you is himself. And the second important

thing he wants to give you is a new you. So he

oversees that process. How do we discern how

to judge? Because that's the context of asking,

seeking, knocking. How do we discern? Don't walk

alone. Have an ongoing relationship. Jesus goes

on. Which of you, if your son asks for bread,

will you give him a stone? How's that work, kiddo?

Go ahead, gnaw on that for a while. Or if he

asks for a fish, do not be alarmed. Would you?

Would you give him a snake? That's going to be

distracting. Of course not. You know how to give

good gifts to your children, even if you don't

have children. I bet you know how to give good

gifts. And Jesus says, yeah, you know how to

do that. But I left out part of the text here.

We're going to contrast those of us who know

how to give gifts with another giver. Watch this.

Jesus actually said, if you then, though you

are evil. Ouch. If you then, though you are evil,

know how to give good gifts to your children.

Back up. Just stop there on the ouch. Jesus is

being gently honest. He already called us hypocrites,

mask wearers. He's going a little deeper and

saying, let me tell you what happens with the

mask. Because the word for evil here is the kind

of corruption that actively causes corruption

in others. Let me use a more familiar term. Though

you are contagious. He actually already talked

about this, didn't he? Do not judge or you will

be judged. In the way that you judge, you will

be judged. By your sin, he's repeating himself

but with a different picture. Our judgment done

wrong is a contagion, an infection that we're

spreading. And yet, Jesus admits, we know how

to give good gifts, not stones and snakes. But

he draws the contrast. How much more? Read those

three words. How much more? Say it again. How

much more your Father in Heaven give good gifts

to those who what? Ouch! You mean the guy I want

to judge because he really is an idiot? Oh no,

I gave up the gavel. Yeah. Though we are contagious

mask wearers, He gives good gifts to us. And

though our opponents and the people we disagree

with are also contagious mask wearers, He gives

good gifts to them too. How do we discern when

and what kind of judgment to use? Don't walk

alone. Have an ongoing relationship with God

as your Father. Now, we could switch that out.

Jesus could have said judge. The problem with

a relationship with God where judge is the primary

role is that in your asking and seeking and knocking,

if judge is God's primary relationship with you

and you're asking, seeking and knocking, you

will get what you deserve. Pure, mechanical,

unfiltered karma. But Jesus calls us to let the

primary relationship with God be one of Father.

So in our asking and seeking and knocking, we

get what we need. Personalized, tender mercy

that shapes us to be the person he means us to

be. Now, I didn't know how to picture this. You

can make your own picture. And if any of you

come up with something, tell me or send me an

email or just stop me downstairs. Scott, I got

a picture. Use this next time you preach a sermon

or whatever. Judge your father. Jesus is the

difference maker there because Jesus is the only

one who could submit to total life summative

judgment and God the judge could look and say,

good on you. Totally right. I am so proud to

call you my son. You already were, but you've

proven it. Everything you do, everything you

said, Jesus, hey everybody, this is my son. I'm

delighted with this guy. None of us can receive

that kind of verdict if we go to God. And yet,

Jesus offers a switch. He says, at the cross.

I'll take your judgment. You take mine. That's

where our confidence comes from. In discerning

how and when to judge. We don't walk alone. We

have an ongoing relationship with God as our

Father, the example. And I say that because I've

learned As I see selfies, man, I'm looking more

and more like my dad. That could be a good thing.

The more time you spend with your heavenly father,

the more you're going to look like him. The more

time you're under his influence and fatherhood

is the primary role he plays in your life, the

more the family resemblance will grow. Confidence

for you, friends. That's what he wants. That's

what Jesus offers. So Jesus summarizes with another

very familiar thing. We call it the golden rule.

So in everything, do to others what you would

have them do to you. That so could also be translated

therefore. So let's use the therefore to review.

Therefore. Because fatherhood, not judge, is

the primary role God wants to fill for you as

you ask, seek, and knock. Therefore, because

Heavenly Father gives you good gifts even to

contagious mask wearers like us. Therefore, because

we have the opportunity to coach others to be

better people in God's family. Therefore, because

we have the duty to protect our treasures. Therefore,

because in the same way we judge, it will come

back. Therefore, in everything, do to others

what you would have them do to you. There's actually

more to the golden rule that we often miss. For

this sums up the law and the prophets. He's talking

about scriptures, the law. God is still judge.

He wrote the law. That is his standard of measure.

He holds the gavel. Which is another reason we

can have confidence because when someone hurts

us and it looks like they get away with it, no

they didn't. God is judge. Their time is coming.

Prophets sent by the Heavenly Father to invite

us to receive the fatherhood role. But if people

reject the fatherhood role, God is still judge.

And that's what's left. So how to discern? Click

for me, please. How to discern? Don't walk alone.

Have an ongoing relationship with God as your

father, example, and judge. So back to the bomb

shelter. It was later, maybe not that day, but

within the training conference time, I was walking

and getting some exercise, and God brought that

incident back to my mind, and he made me learn

something. Because the message that landed on

my heart was this, Scott, Jesus' cross was good

enough for you, but not good enough for him?

Jesus' cross was good enough for this infectious

hypocrite and not for a guy honestly doing an

exercise in a training conference. I understand

now that if I held on to my planned punishment

for him, I had the gavel and I didn't trust God

to use his. But that day, God, my Heavenly Father,

saw my contagious mask and he gave me a good

gift anyway. He led me to the cross where I could

repent. One more visualization. And actually,

it's... Sorry, back one. Go to your workstation.

Close your eyes, please. This time, imagine your

workstation on a screen. This is a photo editor,

and I'm going to ask you to change it. I want

you to take your finger, whichever tapping finger

you use. You can do this physically right now

if you want. Reach forward, tap the workstation

so the workstation is activated so that you can

edit the workstation. Now take two fingers, grab

the workstation in the middle, spread sideways,

stretch it sideways so it's big enough to add

another person. Now walk into that stretched

workstation. This is your new spot. Turn to your

Heavenly Father and invite Him to take His place

next to you. You can trust Him. Some of the gavel

giving up, the mirroring, the whistling, some

of you are not used to that. You can trust your

Heavenly Father. He can tap your shoulder when

you reach for the gavel. He can say, hey, what

are you doing? When you reach for the whistle

and forget the mirror, he can give you a little

elbow. When you have the whistle but you're afraid

to blow it, he can assure you he is with you.

And he gave you that whistle for a purpose. And

when someone else comes in your workstation and

they want your treasure, God can nudge you and

say, hey. Where's your key? You may open your

eyes. We've had three driving questions. Why

is it not so simple? You got it? It's complicated.

It's not just do not judge. Three kinds of judgment.

Summative, not your job. Formative, your job.

Protective, your job. How do we discern? I can't

give you. a checkbox of criteria, but I can offer

you the fatherhood of God because he gave it

to me and he wants you there too. Thank you for

tuning in to the ECB Sermon Podcast. Whether

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or are in need of prayer, we welcome you to engage

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If God is calling you to support our ministries,

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And remember to join us next week. God bless

you.