Forgiveness: The Oxygen of the Kingdom - Part 1: Forgiven People Forgive | Pastor Phil Holcomb

Welcome to ECB's weekly sermon podcast. ECB is

an international church in Bangkok, Thailand

with dozens of nationalities worshiping together.

We invite you to connect with us from wherever

you are through our website, ecb .asia, or our

mobile app. And now we pray that you are blessed

by this week's sermon. Good morning. For those

of you who are joining for the first time, we

are a community who gathers around the person

of Jesus. And as you've looked around, you see

we are a people from all different walks of life.

And yet one thing brings us together, and that

is Jesus. And if you are just joining for the

first time, you came to a service where we're

not going to have light conversations about the

weather or who's winning the World Cup at this

point. We are going to go deep. to forgiveness,

possibly one of the most difficult, challenging

things of following Jesus. And so for the next

four weeks, this will be our sermon series, Forgiveness,

the Oxygen of the Kingdom. In 2006, I woke up

on the west coast of the United States to the

news of a horrific, horrific event. A man had

entered into an Amish community. And if you're

not familiar with the Amish, these are people

who gather around, shape themselves to be like

Jesus as a community in a very intentional way

they live. They're pacifists, which means they

don't even believe in war. And a man entered

into one of their schools and he had the adults

and the boys leave and he lined up the 10 girls

and he shot them, killing five of them. and permanently

injuring the other five. He then turned the gun

on himself and committed suicide. Possibly even

more shocking than that tragic event 20 years

ago was the response of the Amish community.

Not weeks, not months, not years, but moments

after. The community went and visited the widow

of this man that had killed their children and

visited them to express their condolences and

to comfort her. They committed to an act of forgiveness.

They even attended his funeral. And we ask ourselves,

why would you do that? This man doesn't deserve

that type of treatment. Everyone says forgiveness

is a lovely idea. We like to talk about it. But

then when we have something, someone to forgive

in a specific instance, it becomes a different

reality, doesn't it? So I want to invite you

to engage in this series with all of who you

are. And I want you to, I'm inviting you right

now to think about somebody who has wronged you.

I'm a pastor, so I've heard a lot of stories

about people wronging each other. I know that

everyone in this room has experienced a wrong

against them. Betrayal. Something stolen from

you. Violation to who you are and your dignity.

Things that may or may not ever be able to be

returned. Think about that person. They may be

in this room. They may be somebody from your

past. But I want you to keep them in mind as

we ask a question. Why should you forgive? Why

should I forgive? Because at the heart of that

question, we're going to have Jesus coming in

to shape a community like ours in forgiveness.

In fact, he does this in a prayer that is embedded

right in the middle of three chapters, five,

six, and seven of Matthew. It's called the Sermon

on the Mount. This is the most concise collection

of Jesus's profound teaching about what you and

I are to look like as kingdom participants. And

right in the middle of this in chapter six is

this verse, this modeling of how to pray. And

what I would like us to do is actually use this

prayer to bring us into a space of, Holy Spirit,

would you move within us this morning? So I'm

going to pray this out. You can either follow

along with the words on the screen. You know

it maybe in different translations. But would

you, I invite you to have a posture of surrender.

Surrender to God through it. So our Father in

heaven, may your name be kept holy. May your

kingdom come soon. May your will be done on earth

as it is in heaven. Give us today the food that

we need. And forgive us our sins as we forgive

those who sin against us. And do not lead us

yet into temptation, but deliver us, rescue us

from evil. Amen. What did you notice right at

the heart of this prayer? The first section is

about us orienting ourselves to God. And the

second part of the prayer is about God's kingdom

being oriented into our own lives. So would God's

kingdom shape and flow us? And right at the middle

of it is this. Phrase here, would you read it

out with me? And forgive us our sins as we have

forgiven those who sin against us. When Jesus

introduces this prayer, he says, hey, don't be

like the Pharisees who go on and on and have

these long prayers. Look at an option of praying

that is much shorter. And for 2000 years, we've

been being shaped by this prayer and it is really

short. And yet God. decided to put forgiveness

right at the heart of it. And not only that,

but the only commentary that Jesus provides on

this verse is actually focused on that forgiveness.

Just in case we're like, let me see if I can

wiggle out of what Jesus said there. He says,

if you forgive those who sin against you, your

heavenly father will forgive you. But if you

don't, then you will not be forgiven either.

That's kind of strong, isn't that? Wait, if I

don't forgive others, does that mean I'm not

forgiven? Is this conditional now, God? Forgiveness

is always about receiving forgiveness and then

giving it out. So we are a forgiven people who

forgive others. And the mark of you being forgiven

is that you will forgive others. That will be

evident in what you do. So Matthew 18. An entire

chapter that is focused on communities of Christ

who are going to mess up a lot. I'm so glad that

Jesus didn't sugarcoat and say, hey, you know,

when your life group gets together, everything's

just going to be great. He knows we're going

to have conflict. He knows we're going to have

problem and he knows we're going to hurt each

other. You know why? Because you and I have the

desire to be treated like Jesus deeply embedded

in us. And none of you are going to treat me

like Jesus can treat me. And I'm not going to

treat you as perfectly as Jesus treats us as

well. So we're going to kind of do this clunky

community thing. And Jesus, in this entire chapter,

gives seven different ways of gathering as his

people. And the final two are kind of paired

because one is about forgiveness and one is about

being freed from the trap or the prison of resentment.

And the way for that is through forgiveness.

Like all of us, when we hear that story at the

beginning or when you maybe picture the person

who you need to forgive in your own mind and

heart, we join Peter, right? We're like, ah,

we want to calculate this. So every time I ask

my daughters to do the dishes, They're very quick

to be like, Dad, hey, can I just do this pile

right here? Is that okay? And what they're doing

is they're saying, maybe if I present a generous

amount, he's not going to ask me to do all of

the dishes. And this is exactly what Peter, Peter

is my favorite because he speaks what all of

us are wanting to say. But usually we wait for

that person to say it. And then we're like, okay,

yeah, yeah, that's what we were thinking too.

So Peter comes to Jesus and he's like, Lord,

how many times should we forgive? And this is

the dishes thing where he goes, he's trying to

be actually really holy here. Because the Pharisees

would have said, you need to forgive three times.

And Peter's like, how about I double that and

add one more? Jesus, should we forgive seven

times? And he's probably thinking, Jesus is like,

whoa, Peter, you're so holy and awesome. Yeah,

absolutely, that's what you should do. But that's

not what happens. Instead, Jesus responds with

a parable. Why does he respond with a parable?

Because the story gets in at the very heart of

who we are rather than a checklist of this is

what you should and shouldn't do. And I'm going

to read this parable. It's a well -known, familiar

parable. I'm going to read it for you. And I

want you, as you, again, think through whoever

that is that has wronged you or offended you.

And keep that in mind as you listen to Jesus

responding, as you think, Do I have to forgive

this? Maybe this is too much to forgive. So here's

Jesus' response. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven

can be compared to a king who decided to bring

his accounts up to date with servants who had

borrowed money from him. In the process, one

of his debtors was brought in who owed him 10

,000 bags of gold. He couldn't pay, so his master

ordered that he be sold, along with his wife,

his children, and everything he owed to pay the

debts. But the man fell down before his master

and he begged him, please, please be patient

with me and I will pay all of it. Then his master

was filled with pity for him and he released

him and forgave his debt. But when the man left

the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed

him a few thousand dollars. And he grabbed him

by the throat and he demanded instant payment.

His fellow servant fell down before him and begged

for a little more time. Be patient with me and

I will pay it, he pleaded. But his creditor wouldn't

wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison

until the debt could be paid in full. When some

of the other servants saw this, they were very

upset. They went to the king and they told him

everything that had happened. Then the king called

in the man he had forgiven and said, you wicked

servant, I forgave you that tremendous debt because

you pleaded with me. Shouldn't you have mercy

on your fellow servant just as I had mercy on

you? Then the angry king sent the man to prison

to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.

And Jesus concludes this parable by saying, that's

what my heavenly father will do to you if you

refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from

your heart. This is Jesus' response to Peter.

Right before the parable, Jesus has these words

where he answers Peter and he says, I tell you

not seven times. Remember, Peter is probably

thinking, yes, I got the right amount. He says,

no, not seven times. But how many times? 77 times.

Now. All kinds of commentators will look at this

and be like, well, it's seven times seven or

it's 70 times seven. And what does that mean?

I think what Jesus is doing here is he's hyperlinking

into a story that is as old as time. And before

I show you that passage, let me introduce a little

bit of the story. So we know Adam and Eve rebel

against the king. They say, we think we can use

your creation, but without you. And so we're

going to do life on our own terms. Well, they

end up in their rebellion, having sons, Cain

and Abel, and Cain kills his own brother, Abel.

And Cain is then exiled away as a form of punishment.

And Cain looks at God and he says, hey, this

punishment is too much. It's going to be dangerous

if I'm out there. And God says, don't worry,

I will protect you and I will avenge seven times

anyone who attacks you. Out of great mercy. Cain

did not deserve that. But then we have this guy

Lamech that comes along and Lamech decides to

write a poem to his wives. Now, if any of you

are starting a new relationship, do not take

guidance from Lamech about how to be romantic.

And you'll see why right here. Here's what Lamech

says. Lamech said, so he sits his two wives down

and you can imagine this. He's looking at both

of them and he's like, he's like, Ada and Zillah,

wives of Lamech. Now, you've already put yourself

in the poem, right? Don't do that. Wives of Lamech,

hear my words. I have killed a young man for

injuring me, or a man for injuring me, a young

man for wounding me. What's he doing? He's saying,

you know what? When this infraction is done to

me, I'm so awesome, I do this back to them. This

is the way of Lamech. And here's how he finishes

that. He says, if Cain is avenged seven times,

then Lamech 77 times. This is the link that is

made. And Jesus is going all the way back to

the beginning and he's saying, guess what? There

is a tale as old as time written inside your

very hearts about retaliation and revenge. And

so you put it right up to what Jesus said here

and you see that he's telling a new story. He's

telling the story that we were always meant to

live in. And he says you are to forgive, in fact,

the exact opposite of what lamex revenge is,

77 times to another person. Seven is also considered

a whole number, and so this is just, there is

no limit on your forgiveness. My daughters, do

all the dishes. Don't just set part of them aside.

They're going to come in second service, and

I'm going to hit this harder for that. So two

paths that is given to us, right? And in this

parable, we're going to see kind of the journey

of these two ways forward, one towards resentment

or one towards forgiveness. So why should we

forgive? Because Jesus teaches it here and he's

going to help us see that. But resentment starts

with fear. You see, you and I were made to experience

a perfect relationship, a secure relationship

with God. But we're all born apart from that.

So within us is a fear. And the fruit of fear

is control. In my fear, I want to control the

world around me. So when you wrong me, my first

thought is, I need to control the debt that you

owe me. I need to take that into my own hands

and control that. Why? Because I'm fearful that

nobody is going to take care of me on the other

side. So I take it into my own hands. And you

see this with the servant when he chokes his

fellow servant. The other thing that we do in

a posture of resentment is to forget. We forget

how much we have been forgiven. And you see that

immediately. It's ironic how quickly he turns

around and he chokes his fellow servant. In this,

we begin to develop a pattern, a habit of revenge

towards others. So we continue the cycle of hurt

and retaliation or resentment against us. And

that simply repeats the story over and over and

over again. And if you go back to the time that

scripture was written and around when Lamech

was running around, there was a code in Babylon

about how we should engage ethically. And it

said, if you take my eye, I take your eye. If

you take my tooth, I take your tooth. And of

course, the ironic thing with all of this that

has been said is we're going to end up in a world

where everybody's blind. And I might add that

all need dentures as well. This is not a pretty

place to be when we are fighting each other and

saying, you did this to me, I'm going to do the

same thing back to you. Or even the Lamech way,

I'm going to ratchet it up a little bit. And

what Jesus is doing is he brings this out in

this parable is he's saying, this isn't just

that guy's problem back then. This is our problem.

This is within us. This is how we're going to

naturally treat other people. So he responds

with this parable and he helps us to see what

is going on. And he says that the servant. He's

going to be revengeful and actually choke the

person that owes him something. Now, you may

or may not get to that point of violence personality

-wise, but how does your heart respond to that

person that you identified? Are you so adamant

about extracting something from them? And you

are going to engage all of who you are to get

that back. that his fellow servant, he falls

to his knees. And what does he do? He begs him

with almost the exact same words that he had

just used. But the man refused and he has him

thrown into prison. Now, is prison a good place

to repay your debt? You can't work it off there.

And possibly the irony of what Jesus is doing

here is he's helping us see that you know what,

we can't actually get retributive justice accomplished

here. I maybe get some payment back, but it's

never going to be what it was meant to be. And

that justice moves us towards a different way

forward. So we see here that... Then the master

called the servant in and he says, you wicked

servant, I canceled all the debt of yours because

you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy

on your fellow servant just as I had on you?

Now with Jesus's parables, again, he's not asking

us to look at this and be like, what a horrible

guy. He's actually asking us to see that we have

this potential as well and therefore need him

even more. This is how your heavenly father then

will repay you unless you forgive your brother

or sister from your heart. You see, we cannot

go through the narrow door into heaven when our

lives are bulging with resentment. This does

not mean, and I want to be very clear about this,

we do not earn our way into heaven by forgiving.

Forgiveness actually reveals that we have been

forgiven. And so when you hold on to resentment

again and again and again and again and again,

it's probably an indication that you have not

truly understood the full debt that you have

been forgiven from the one who loves you. So

you have the lame equate. But now you have a

different path that Jesus is inviting forward.

And he's brought this to Peter and he says, let

me teach you the Jesus way. Let me show you what

that is like. Because this way that I have described

to you leads to a trap, a prison of your own

making. Let me free you from that and offer a

different way forward. So Jesus says, therefore,

the kingdom, this is what it's like. The kingdom

of heaven is like this king who comes and he

says, I'm going to settle accounts. And so he

brings people in to settle accounts and one of

those people owes 10 ,000 talents or 10 ,000

bags of gold. Now, rather than us calculating

this and trying to figure out exactly what that

means, just think this is a huge amount. He can

never pay it back. Since he was not able to pay

this, he comes to the king and he says, would

you please forgive me? Would you please release

me from this? And in mercy, the king responds

and he forgives him. But this isn't Jesus saying,

hey, there's a God of the New Testament that's

different than the God of the Old Testament.

We link all the way back to when God actually,

like Lamech, writes a poem to Moses. And he comes

to Moses to reveal who he is and he says, he

passed in front of Moses and he says, the Lord,

the Lord, he's compassionate and gracious God,

slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.

maintaining love to thousands and forgiving wickedness,

rebellion, and sin, then what does it say? Yet

he does not leave the guilty unpunished. God

is not a God who simply sweeps the wrong under

the rug. He actually makes a way to take care

of the wrong. And this is what we long for. Our

justice doesn't long for somebody to just forgive

and forget. It longs for things to be taken care

of. And so the number one posture within the

gospel is truth, to name the debt. When somebody

has wronged you, don't sweep it under the rug

and pretend it didn't happen. That is going to

be a way that you think, oh, this is a really

Christian -like way of me responding. I'm just

going to not think about it. That is not actually

the way that this parable models forward. It

says, name the debt. Take account of what was

cost. What has happened to you and what have

you done to others? Name that. Psychology has

figured out that naming that helps you in so

many ways. And one of those is that it helps

that controlling factor of what has happened

to you. It releases that. God knew that far before

anybody figured that out through psychology.

Name the debt. See, forgiveness does not forget.

Forgiveness does not ignore the offense. It tells

the truth about what was lost. Posture number

one. That's why I invited you at the very beginning

of this to think through what has happened to

you. Somebody you need to forgive. Another quote

here is, when we forgive evil, we do not excuse

it. We do not tolerate it. We do not smother

it. We look the evil full in the face and we

call it what it is. Let its horror shock and

stun and enrage us. And only then do we forgive.

Forget it. Forgive it. The Amish community wept

deeply for their loss. They acknowledged exactly

what had happened to them and they called it

what it was. It was evil. But they also acted

in a gracious, forgiving response. So the second

thing is to remember the story. What story are

we remembering? We're remembering the debt that

we actually owe. A number of months ago, I was

actually taking a retreat. Because the Holy Spirit

had brought to mind a person that I needed to

go and forgive. And I went on this retreat and

I arrived at the place and my plan was, hey,

I'm going to wake up in the morning and I'm going

to forgive. Right? So I go to bed that night

and I'm thinking through, okay, all the ways

that this person has wronged me. And I wake up

in the morning and I get out there kind of triumphantly

thinking, okay, here's the day I'm going to forgive

them. And Holy Spirit took me on a different

journey. There's about a half kilometer path

around where I was going, and I was imagining

kind of doing this prayer walk and forgiving,

kind of like Peter, I'm so holy, aren't I? And

instead, what Holy Spirit does is he takes me

on seven loops around this retreat center, bringing

to mind thing after thing after thing that I

have done. towards other people and God. And

it wasn't this, Phil, look at this, this is what

I'm doing to you again and again. It was this

kind way of holding me and saying, I took care

of that as well. You couldn't pay for that and

I took care of that. You couldn't pay for that

and I took care of that. By the seven laps around

when I came back remembering the story of what

had happened to me, that last lap was so much

easier. It was not done in my own will and grit

and effort. It was done out of those seven laps

of being reminded, Lord, this is what you have

been doing in my own life. We must, to forgive

others, we must remember the greater story. As

you remember what someone has done to you, remember

what God has done for you. Keep those in mind

together. This king forgives this debt of 10

,000 bags of gold or 10 ,000 talents rather than

us saying, okay, this is about this amount of

time or work and effort. 10 ,000 is the largest

Roman numeral and gold is the most significant

or a talent was the most significant currency

amount there. So what is he saying? This is a

huge amount. This is not just a normal debt.

This is a debt that actually could compromise

the kingdom itself. It is like multiple kingdoms,

a revenue in one single debt. My uncle Jim and

my aunt Rachel have written quite a bit on forgiveness

and they have done a lot of teaching and work

on it and it has flowed out of their own personal

story. And brothers and sisters, I so wish that

they could shepherd you through this. They are

wonderful people. Part of their story, though,

is horrific. As a young pastor, my uncle Jim

was at home when his two young kids were out

playing outside in a small swimming pool. The

oldest daughter was six years old. When a car...

crashed through the fence, came through their

yard, and ran over and killed their six -year

-old daughter. To make things worse, the lady

that was driving was a young lady without a license.

She was joyriding with some friends. She should

not have been behind the wheel. To make things

even worse, her father had given her those keys

and let her go out. My uncle and my aunt are

now left with a burden that they can never return

at that point. And it begins to move within them.

But in that, they have brought an example that

I'm going to use here this morning for you that

has really touched the way we see things. You

see, when the king forgives the debt, he doesn't

just erase it and forget about it. He does something

different. What does it say? Hurt. Now if I take

this and I erase the debt, it's gone, right?

It's that easy. Where is it? Where? It's on my

hand. You see, substitutionary forgiveness means

I'm not pretending that something is gone. I'm

actually absorbing that very debt onto myself.

And this is the gospel. This is the one that

we follow. Jesus took your sins and my sins and

he actually absorbed it onto himself. He didn't

just forget about it or ignore it. He took it

and paid for it. And what this parable shows

is if he had just forgotten about it, the entire

economy of this kingdom would have been wrecked.

It needed to be paid for in order for the kingdom

to survive going forward. And so we look forward

and it says, at this the servant falls on his

knees and he says, I'm going to pay back everything.

Could he pay this back? Absolutely not. It doesn't

matter how many years he worked. He never would

have paid this back. And that's the point of

this parable. You and I can never pay back what

is owed to God. And yet we try over and over

again. And this guy responds and he says, I'm

going to try a little harder. But true forgiveness

says, I can't. Only you can. Only you can cover

it for me. And it's remembering that story and

living in that story that begins to reshape us.

You see, the one who forgives is willing to bear

the consequences of the injustice that was done

and erase the debt from the ledger of the one

asking for forgiveness. This is a quote from

my Uncle Jim. So we are called to release the

debts of others. And that doesn't mean just to

simply forget them. That actually means to absorb.

What they have done to us. An author named Diedrich

Bonhoeffer. Who is also a pastor. And ended up

dying during World War II. Fighting against Hitler.

He said the following. He said forgiveness is

a double suffering. Because somebody has wronged

you. And then you have to take on the wrong that

they have done. Absorbing that to forgive them.

Forgiveness is a hard work. It is incredibly

hard, but we are called to release what others

have done to us. Not to forget it, because God

will bring everything that is wrong right again.

Forgiveness is releasing my right to collect

the debt and entrusting justice to God. It's

a posture of releasing. I want to be really clear

here to say too that there are things and people

and situations possibly in this room right now

where do not go back to somebody who is causing

abuse. We will talk more about this through the

entire month on forgiveness. Forgiveness does

not mean trust. Forgiveness means a releasing

over to God and saying, I'm going to let you

end up taking care of this, whether it's through

legal means or through the Christian community,

doing what Jesus has called in Matthew 18. So

keep holding on to this teaching as we go through

it for the whole month of July. This is the shape,

though, of what it looks like for us to respond.

These three things. We are to name the debt.

We're to remember the bigger story. And then

we're to release the debt of others. There's

more to that about reconciliation and rebuilding

trust, again, that we will talk about later on.

Biblical forgiveness is the grace -enabled decision

to release someone from my personal right to

collect the debt they owe me because God, through

Christ, has released me from mine. This is why

Jesus says, forgive them their debts as you have

been forgiven. He is reminding us again and again

and again, live daily, moment by moment, in the

forgiveness that he has offered to us. So why

should I forgive? Well, for one thing, because

Jesus commanded us to do it. But another thing,

it is the greatest participation in the kingdom

of God. It is at the heart of this prayer, at

the heart of Jesus' teaching, and he uses this

parable to say the kingdom of heaven is like

this. Brothers and sisters, we need this. We

need a different story than Lamech. We need the

Jesus story to shape our community and we need

it to shape our city and this country and the

world, right? To forgive is to set a prisoner

free and to realize that the prisoner was actually

you. You see, resentment is actually a repeating

and a holding on to something. And when you keep

doing that and you sit there and you have these

repeated thoughts, how many of you have had that

happen? You go through these conversations, oh,

and I'm going to say this and then they said

this and then I'm going to come back here and

you're losing sleep at night going over this

again and again and again. Maybe it's just a

me problem. But I would imagine some of you have

had this. It ends up trapping you and doesn't

allow you to live in the freedom that Christ

has come to offer you. But he doesn't say, I

can do this without justice. He says, I can do

this with justice and with mercy. With forgiveness.

Like oxygen for the body, God's forgiveness is

meant to be breathed in and then breathed out.

We inhale this extravagant grace of God and then

we exhale the same grace towards others. This

is a rhythm of the kingdom. If you're older or

you have some heart problems, I'm asking you

not to do this next part of our time together.

But for the rest of you, here's what I want you

to do. I want you to take a huge breath in. But

before you do that, let me give some more instructions.

So you're going to take a big breath in. And

imagine that that's the gift of forgiveness that

this servant received from the king. But then

I want you to hold on to that breath because

it feels powerful for a moment. Okay, you ready?

Don't breathe until I say, well, no, if you need

to, go for it. I don't want to have to call the

ushers up. You ready? Okay. And for a moment,

it feels kind of like, oh, I've got control.

And then you start panicking. I need to breathe.

Okay, instead of any passing out. This is the

idea, though. If we simply take from the kingdom

of God and receiving without breathing out, we

are not doing what we have been designed to do.

And we will actually slowly suffocate ourselves.

So to participate in the kingdom is to actually

breathe in that forgiveness moment by moment

and then exhale it out again. Inhale, exhale.

Just like you and I were created to do with breathing.

Forgiveness means that forgiven people forgive.

That's why we are called to forgiveness. Now

that Amish community in Nickel Mines, they didn't

wake up one morning, have this tragedy, tragic

event happen, and then respond in this way. They

had been formed in a lifetime of forgiveness.

They had been breathing in the oxygen of forgiveness

and exhaling it out towards other people. Jesus

doesn't give us a checklist for forgiveness.

That's because forgiveness is not an isolated

act of moral heroism. It's not something I wake

up and I say, I forgave. It's a pattern I participate

in moment by moment throughout my life. It's

something I am shaped and formed in. Thank you

for tuning in to the ECB sermon podcast. Whether

near or far, if you are looking for community

or are in need of prayer, we welcome you to engage

by sending us an email to office at ecb .asia.

If God is calling you to support our ministries,

you will find giving options on our website.

And remember to join us next week. God bless

you.