Avoiding the Victim Trap (New Beginnings UMC)

This week we're talking about avoiding the victim trap.

This is another PG13 sermon a couple weeks ago.

I preached the PG. 13. Sermon and in that.

Chapter of the Bible would have fit very well within the Game of

Thrones universe. Chapter 38, which we're

preaching preaching from today, would fit very well.

In the Bridgerton universe. I think.

It'd make a nice season long. Story arc for Bridgerton, maybe

even the hunting. Wives.

Who knows? But we're talking about.

Avoiding the victim. Trap as we are.

Trying to be faithful in a system, in a world.

System stacked against us. How can we do that without

becoming, you know, perpetual victims?

One of the. Greatest examples?

We have of that and and and illustrations of faithfulness in

a system. Stacked against you is that of

Tamar. In chapter 38.

Of Genesis. John read a portion of that.

There are some. Verses in there that I simply

will not read or ask anyone to read in worship on Sunday

morning. I want to paraphrase.

That would make it move it from APG 13 sermon to an R rated

sermon if I read it all just the way it is printed.

If that doesn't inspire you to read the Bible, I don't know

what, but let me give you the story because we need the whole

story. To have any idea?

Of the real significance of the few verses that John read

earlier. Tamar was married.

To ER ER. Was the oldest.

Son of Judah. Judah, one of the sons of Jacob.

And and and Tamar is married to his oldest son.

In fact, Judah arranged that marriage.

But we're told in the Bible, there are a couple verses I do

want to read out of there that. Uh, Judas first.

Born was wicked in. The Lord's sight, so the Lord

put him to. Death.

Pretty serious stuff. We don't know what uh.

Did but it. Must have been bad and God put

him to death. So the.

Custom and tradition and. That time in that.

Place is if if your. Son is married to a woman.

But has not. Had a child with her, yet

particularly not a male child, and the son dies that woman for

the. Sake of the dead, son, and.

For the sake of the wife. Is given as a.

Wife to. Another son, the next son and

and that. Did a couple of things.

It carried on the. Line because the next.

Son would then have a child with the woman his wife now.

But the son would be. Considered the first.

Brother's son, The child would be considered the first

brother's child, so you're carrying on that.

Son's line you're. Also that system.

Provides safety and security. For the woman.

So that she. Does not then need to live the

rest of her life. As a widow with.

No one to. Care for her and her old

children were your retirement. Plan and you had children.

Partly to have someone to take care of you when you were old.

And could not. Provide for yourself anymore and

that was. Tamar's position and.

So Judah gave. Tamar to be the wife.

Of his second son, Onan, Juna had three sons.

I don't know whether this had to do with some of the reasons

that. Uh.

Was killed by God. But Onan did not.

Think of much of his older brother either.

And he had no. Desire to provide an heir for

his older brother. And so this takes us to a

portion of scripture that I will not read in Sunday worship, but

I will give. A paraphrase to Onan.

Took his. Pleasure of Tamar.

But shall we say? Finished on the ground.

So he. Got what he wanted.

Out of the relationship, he got his pleasure.

But he refused to give. Tamar what she needed.

Which was a child to provide security for her in the future

of her own. Life.

God did not like that and this. Is what the Bible says what Onan

did? Was wicked in the.

Lord's sight. So the Lord put him to death

also. Now we're going to pause right

here. There's some brilliant

storytelling. Going on here.

Because by the. Time we get to the end of.

This chapter we might. Be tempted to think that.

Somehow God is soft on sin, but we see from the very beginning

that God is not soft on sin. God in chapter 38 of Genesis is.

Very much this. Is I'm I'm really working hard

not to get fired today, God. In Genesis.

Genesis 38 · chapter mention

Chapter 38 is. Very much a mess.

Around and find out God and uh messed around and found.

Out and then onan. Messed around and found out.

And. Judah's got one.

More son Sheila. Sheila is too young to marry and

Judah out of superstition, out of ignorance.

Out of looking at his sons through rose colored glasses may

be a combination of all. Of those things.

When he had two. Sons.

Die after marrying Tamar. He decided she was the problem.

She's a Black Widow. She's bad luck.

She's a curse. And he did not.

Want her to marry his youngest son?

He was afraid that. Shayla would then die too.

And so he told. Tamar, you go back.

And stay with your folks. Shayla's too.

Young to be married when he's old enough.

I'll bring you back. And then you.

Can marry Shayla. But Judah had no intention of.

Ever bringing her back. And we know.

That because he didn't. Shayla grew up came of marrying.

Age and Judah. Left Tamar with her.

Family rather than bringing him in to marry.

Shayla, Judah's wife, Judah's. Wife then dies as.

Well, and now Judah's a single man, and Judah decides, oh, I'm

a single. Man, I want to be out in the

world now rather than just always stay at home and taking

care of business here. Go out and help tend the flocks,

shear the sheep, that kind of thing.

And so he. Makes a plan to go out.

And work in the. Fields.

And and on his. Way out, Tamar hears.

About this. She knows Shayla's old.

Enough to be married but hasn't been given to her and she knows

where. Judah.

Is and where Judah is. Going and where he's going to

have to pass. To get.

There and Tamar. Knows her father-in-law really

well, apparently. Because she takes.

Off her morning clothes, her widow's garb.

She puts on a veil, which signifies that she's a

prostitute. She goes out and hangs out.

By the road outside the city of Anayam, where she knows Judah's

passing by. And like I say, she knows her

father-in-law well. Her father in law's walking by.

He sees a prostitute. And then he walks up to her and.

Delivers the most sophisticated. And romantic of of.

Come on lines which? He says to her, hey.

Won't. You come sleep with me.

To which she replies. How much you going to pay me?

Judas says I'll. Give you a young goat.

I don't know whether that's a good price.

I just have to confess, I really don't.

Have any idea whether? That's a good price or not, but

Tamar accepts but Judah? Doesn't have a goat with him

his. Goats are out in the field, and

so Tamar says. What pledge will you?

Give me so that. I know you're going to pay me

for my. Services and she.

Said, why don't you? Give me your signet.

Ring and your staff. It's kind of like.

Saying today, give me your driver's license.

And your. Spare set of car keys.

Because. Then everyone will know these.

Belong to you and then I can collect.

So Judah gives her. His driver's license.

His signet ring. And his staff and they do their.

Business. Together and Judah.

Judah. Leaves happy and satisfied and

after. Judah leaves Tamar.

Takes off the veil, puts her widow's clothes.

Back on and goes back. Home now pregnant by.

Judah. Her father-in-law.

I told. You this is.

Perfect for Bridget, perfect Time passes Jude well.

Jude, I got it. Jude is a stand up guy.

Jude, he's a little superstitious.

He's got. Rose colored glasses towards his

son, but he's a stand up. Guy and he leaves and he's like

I need. To pay the prostitute, so it

goes to his other servant. Says here.

I told this prostitute. I'd give her a young goat if she

slept with me. She slept with me.

Go find the prostitute. You'll find her outside the city

of Naim. And take the goat to her and

his. Servant goes.

And he's got the goat and he goes to the people of the city

and. Says hey my master.

Owes a prostitute a goat, Could you?

Tell me where the prostitute is. They're like there's.

No prostitute around here. So.

He's going around asking, I got a goat, where's the prostitute?

Anyone know he keep and? Finally, Judah says, look, this

is. Getting embarrassing and

ridiculous. We did our best.

We can't find her. We'll just take the goat back

home. Then time passes and three

months later, everybody knows Tamar's pregnant.

Because that's how pregnancy. Works and someone.

Must have seen her dress up as she dressed.

Up because word is sent back to Judah.

Your daughter-in-law Tamar is. Pregnant because she's been

prostituting herself. And Judah's reply is bring her

here. And we'll burn her.

Alive. That escalated quickly.

Tamar on her route. Way.

To Judah answer Judah's summons sends a package and a message.

Ahead of her. And it arrives at Judah and he

opens the package. And inside is his staff and his

signet ring and a note. That says.

I'm pregnant by the person who owns these.

And Judah's response? Is.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. And he knows.

He knows, and he knows that Tamar knows.

And Judah does. Something he again Judah is not.

Perfect, but. Judah is a stand up guy here and

Judah's. Reply is extraordinarily

important. For us, Judah said.

Tamar's righteousness is greater than my own.

Because I failed to provide for her.

Tamar's more righteous than me, and so Judah brings Tamar into

his. Household.

The scripture is clear. He never sleeps with her again,

but he brings her into his household.

And provides for her, and shelters her and gives.

Her all that she needs, she gives birth to twin.

Boys, the oldest. His name is Perez, and we'll get

back to that in a minute. And Judah.

Fulfills his obligations to. Tamar Tamar in this.

Whole situation is clearly. Vulnerable and clearly

victimized. She has little to no power.

In this environment. Her first husband dies because

he's evil. We don't know what.

It was, but we know he was evil and.

God killed him directly. 2nd. Husband abuses her, uses her.

And God kills him for it. And she's what can she do?

She's got no. Way to force Judah to marry her

to Shayla. She's got no way.

To force own end to. Actually have a child.

With her. She has very little.

Power and she's victimized by the people.

Around her that have more power. Than she does but.

She's got 2 choices, 2 basic. Options.

In that situation, one of those options.

Is to let victimhood. Define her to let.

That be the thing that. She says this is just me, this.

Is my life I'm. I am.

I am a victim. I am.

Powerless the world is. Unfair.

And there's. Nothing I can do.

About it. And she could just.

Kind of curl up and go about and you know.

There's nothing I can do. Roll over and die.

Give up, but she. Doesn't let victimhood define

her instead. She does what she.

Can with what she has in the context in which she.

Is to secure a safer, more just future.

For. Herself and her family.

You could call. Tamar's actions immoral.

Few chapters down the Bible, a few years down the road.

Moses will give some. Laws to the nation.

Of Israel and pretty much. Everything that happens in this

chapter was against the law. All of it.

You could call. Tamar's actions immoral but the

Bible invites us to see Tamar differently and to see what

Tamar has done differently than simply playing the.

Morality police. We see it first of all with.

Judah and Judas's response? Judah affirmed Tamar rather than

condemning her. And I've been saying this wrong

all morning at Rock Springs and at Chester.

I've been saying that. Judah essentially said.

To Tamar, what you? DID isn't as bad.

As what I did, but that's. Way too negative.

A way to phrase it. He didn't.

Say that What, Tamar? Did was bad at all?

He said. Tamar's righteousness is greater

than mine, though what Tamar did was a righteous thing that when

she got. Pregnant by her father-in-law,

that. There was good in that when she

dressed up like a prostitute, there was good in that.

Judah affirmed her you to recognize them that is the the

signet ring and the staff and said she.

Is more righteous than I since I wouldn't give.

Her to my son Sheila. Now we're going to look at the.

Details of this particular piece of this.

Story. It's either next.

Week or the week after, we're going to spend kind of three

weeks on on this to get. Some of the details here and and

really dig down into them. But today, it's just enough to

know. That Judah Affirmed Tamar and

declared her to be. Righteous.

More righteous. Than he even more significantly

than that. Is what God did.

God chose Tamar. To be part of.

Jesus's direct ancestry. One of her two.

Sons born the twins. Born was Perez.

Perez was a. Direct ancestor of Jesus.

Himself, You can find it in Matthew.

Matthew 1 · chapter mention

Chapter 1. But.

For what Tamar had done, would the Messiah have come?

That's extraordinary. Tamar is mentioned explicitly by

name in the genealogy. Of Jesus, it's like.

You know Matthew and the God who's.

Guiding him wants everyone. To know that when?

It says Perez. Is 1 of.

Jesus ancestors and it explicitly says Perez.

Son of Tamar. Son of Tamar and her.

Father-in-law. Is part of Jesus?

'S ancestry. She was part.

Of God's plan for bringing salvation to the.

World what she did. One of three women mentioned in

Jesus's ancestry. Hundreds of years of ancestry

and Tamar's highlighted, lifted up and honored.

This is what God has done for Tamar and the message God is

sending us. I got to think you remember when

when the with the folks brought the woman.

Caught in the act? Of adultery to Jesus.

For them to condemn her, to stone her to death, another

death penalty. This time by stoning.

Rather than by burning. And that's what the law said

they brought. Her to Jesus.

Remember Jesus? He was like.

Yeah, it's against the. Law, you're right.

It's sin. Tell you what, Whoever.

Has no sin in your life. You can throw the stones and

everyone left. And then Jesus looked up at the

woman and said to her. Is there no one?

Left to condemn you and the woman said no.

And Jesus said then I don't condemn you.

Go and sin no more. I wonder whether.

Jesus was thinking of. Grandma Tamar when all of that

was going on. Whether Jesus was thinking.

Of his own heritage, his own lineage, his own ancestry, when

this woman was brought to him to be condemned and destroyed.

There are two different perspectives we can take.

On this story, one of those is, is Tamar's perspective well.

Before we get to that though. John, God's judgement.

See. God is not.

Soft on sin God before Tamar had sex with her father-in-law and

got pregnant. By him.

God had already killed two people.

For wit, for wickedness. God is not soft on sin.

But God honored Tamar rather than condemning her God's

judgment. Is wise.

It's. Discerning and it's nuanced and

it's. Far beyond our own.

Capacity to be as. Wise.

And discerning and nuanced as God is in our Judge, in our

judgments. We can't see people's hearts.

We can never. See the full picture.

We never know all of what's going on but God.

Does, and God knows when to punish, when to condemn, when to

honor, when to bless in ways that we never can.

That's why Jesus told us. Don't judge and you won't be

judged. Don't condemn and you won't be

condemned. It's why Jesus.

Told the parable of the. Farmer who planted wheat good

seed in his field and the. But his enemy planted.

Weeds among the wheat and when the wheat.

Grew up the weeds, grew up with it and the.

Farmer's Servant. Said hey, do you?

Want us to? Go out and pull the weeds out.

And get rid of them, the farmer. Said no.

You'll end up pulling up some of the wheat too.

You're not able you. Can't tell the difference

between the weeds and the wheat. Leave it all till the end and at

harvest time I'll sort it out. We'll sort it out.

Then we do not have the. Capacity of God to judge God

there's a beautiful story it's a.

Very old story. It's like I, I. 15102. 1000 It's

an old. Story and it's.

It's more of a parable illustration.

Even than a story. But it was told.

Very, very early on in the life of the Church.

About this issue of. Judgment and and and the story

was imagine to imagine a set of twins.

Girls who? As infants, their parents.

Die and they are left. Orphaned with no.

One to take them in and one. Daughter is adopted by a wealthy

Christian. Family deeply committed to their

faith has. Plenty of resources they.

Bring her into their. Home and raise.

Her as her own. The other is given over to a

brothel. And.

The teachers of that. Time said very.

Clearly and very directly. That when the final judgement

comes, God will judge. Those two people.

Differently because their circumstances.

Were different their life? Experiences were different.

The things that were that happened to them were different,

the things that were done to them.

Were different. And God will not judge them the

same. God's judgment is wise, it's

discerning, it's nuanced, and it's beyond our capacity.

And so Jesus says. Leave it to me.

I'll be the judge. You do the loving, you do the

serving, you do the caring. I'll be the judge.

Two different perspectives. One is Tamar's.

Perspective, I believe, part of the story.

Of Tamar is here to invite. Us to rather than making

victimhood our identity that we like Tamar are invited to use

the agency and the. Power that we have.

To improve our situation as we can, to do what we can with what

we have. We can't do more than that, but

we are. Invited to do that.

Rather than lying down and giving up and complaining that

life isn't fair. To use the resources that God

has. Given us to do what we can.

A lot of people have followed that.

Example over the years. I think one of the most.

Powerful examples. Of that is a woman and I'm going

to butcher the pronunciation of her name and I apologize.

Nargez Muhammadi. She is as far.

As we know, still alive and still in prison in Iran back.

In the early well. She was.

Trained as a physicist, so she's not a dummy.

She's a smart woman. But she didn't choose.

To become a physicist, as she became aware.

Of the suffering. Of the women in her nation,

particularly in prison of the abuse.

And the torture and the rape. All for showing a little too

much hair or a little too much skin.

In public. She began to report on that.

And she began to. Call it out and she began to

call for justice. For these women.

And she did that not. Just in Iran, but also outside

of Iran. She called for that, and she

was. Arrested, she was convicted.

This was back in the 2000s. She was arrested.

She was convicted on multiple counts.

She. Was a.

She was sentenced to a total of. 30 years in.

Prison and 154. Lashes.

You ever watch the? Passion of the Christ.

You imagine that 154 times. And while in prison, Muhammadi

still smuggles out messages reporting on the conditions

calling for. Justice for the other.

Women that are there. And for her, she.

Has in the grand scheme of things and the institutions of

Iran and the institutions of the world, Nargis Mohammadi has

little or no power. Whatsoever and the easiest.

Thing in the world. For her to.

Have done was long before anything got that.

Bad to just say. There's nothing I can do.

There's nothing I can do. I'm a victim like all the other

women here. I'm a victim.

There's nothing I can do. But instead, she chose to use

what she had to do what she could, even at great risk.

And great. Cost to herself, just like

Tamar. Tamar could have been killed and

nearly was. Killed for what she did, but she

took the risk to use what she had to do what she could.

To improve her situation and the scripture invites.

Us to be like. Tamar.

To live out that. Legacy, like Nargis Mohammadi is

doing in our own lives, in our own situation, in our own

context, there's another perspective.

Though that I would invite us to.

Spend a. Little bit of time in as well,

and that's Judah's. Perspective.

Judah and his experience and what he did is invites us to

this the rather than judging others.

For doing. What they can with.

What they have to check to see if?

They might be more. Righteous than we who have left

them in that position to begin with.

There are a lot of people. Who do bad things because the

only choices. They have are bad choices.

They don't have any good choices, they don't have any

good options. And so they do what they can

with what they. Have to take.

Care of themselves and their own and the easy thing to.

Do is sit? Back and play the.

Morality police. And judge and cadem.

But the scripture invites us to. Be like Judah to.

Recognize our own failing. To put a spotlight.

On ourselves and say what have I done?

To leave vulnerable people in positions of.

Vulnerability and powerlessness. Such that they.

Have no good options to choose from.

And see that. Perhaps their?

Righteousness is greater than our own.

We. Are not powerful people.

In this room. I am not.

If you are if the president. Is calling you.

To consult with policy, please let me know.

I have some suggestions I would. Like to pass on.

I don't think he's calling anybody.

Here we have. Little or no power in the

institutions of this world, but that doesn't mean we're victims.

Doesn't mean we're helpless. It doesn't mean we're hopeless

any more than it did for Tamar. We are invited.

To do what she did, to use what? We have.

To do what we. Can to improve our own situation

and the situations of those around us.

That's the legacy that we have. From Tamar, grandmother of

Jesus, a spiritual mother for all of us, in Jesus name, Amen.

Amen.