15th Feb 2026: The Culture of Church Family

Welcome to the podcast of the White Church in Adelaide, South

Australia. This morning we have a wonderful

privilege of hearing from Hilary, which is going to be

amazing. So can I encourage you guys to

stretch out your hands? The Bible talks about stretching

out our hands and laying on of hands.

When we pray for people, we teach our kids that if

somebody's in the room and you're praying for them, you

reach out your hand or you place your hand on them.

I was actually going to get you to praise that, OK.

Father, we just, we thank you for the word that you've placed

on Hillary's heart. We thank you that you've placed

it in her heart for us to hear, for it to be a seed planted in

our heart for it to take deep root, Father God and, and for

your word to grow and transform and bring life to our lives and

to those around us. So Father, we just pray over her

mind, we pray peace and we just pray Lord that your will be done

this morning. Let your words flow and come out

so naturally and so comfortably in Jesus name, Amen.

Awesome. Thank you.

Well, we've, well we've actually always talked a lot about being

a church family and was when Tai was with us a few weeks ago, he

brought a lot of points about the culture of a church.

And so today I just wanted to zoom in and look at it a little

bit more in depth on the culture of a church family.

So, so we've got 2 ideas that run alongside each other here

that we sort of have to, we have to acknowledge the fact that

we've been shaped by our own experiences and by the world

around us when it comes to church.

For starters, based on our past experiences, you know, maybe the

church that we were saved into, there's churches that we've

potentially been hurt by, There's all sorts of things that

go on that have shaped our perspective of what church is.

And likewise, there's a whole bunch of things that shape our

perspective of what family is. If we if I said to someone, you

know, the church is your family and then you projected onto it

your perspective of family based on your own family, we would be

in a lot of trouble. I don't know about anyone else.

I love my family, but there's lots of unhelpful and

dysfunctional things that go on in the culture of my family.

And I'm sure we all have our things because let's face it, no

one has a perfect family. So again, we need to bring these

things to God and say to God, Lord, what is it that has shaped

my perspective of church and what is it that has shaped my

perspective of family? And Lord, would you show me from

your scripture what's actually true and right about your plan

and purpose for us as a church and as a family?

So the first thing we actually need to settle is that church is

in fact meant to be a family in the beginning.

In Genesis, the, the, the creation account tells us that

God created everything and then he created man.

And then, and then there's this story about God creating animals

as, as companions for men. And they all fall short and and

it makes me laugh because some people go, oh, I like dogs

better. And that may be well and good,

but you're going to have to settle the fact that God said it

is not good that man be alone and submit yourself to the idea

that it's actually God's good plan and purpose that we live

together as a family because that was his solution.

Jesus told us to pray our Father in heaven in Matthew, Jesus

mother and brother and sister, his natural family come and his

disciples say, oh your mother and father, your mother and

brothers are over there. And he says, who are my brothers

and sisters and my mother, these who do the will of my father,

They are my family. In Romans 8 verse 29.

Romans 8:29

Dave read this last week. He said for those whom he

foreknew, he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his

son in order that he might be the first born among many

brothers. And so again that it speaks of

the family ship with Jesus, but also the family resemblance.

We are called to be conformed to the to the image of the family

of God, of Jesus. There's many, many more

scriptures in in the Bible, but this one is perhaps one of my

favourites as well. In Psalm 68 verse 5 to 6, it

Psalms 68:5–6

says a father to the fatherless, a defender of widows is God in

his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families.

He leads out the prisoners with singing, but the rebelliously

live in the sun scorched land. So there's a promise there that

that that they would be a family of God, that God could set

people into, that they would have a family.

And so if God is our father, then we are brothers and

sisters. And so now we, the family of

God, come together and we all have our natural families and we

all have these cultures that are influenced by the nations that

we've come from. Again, your church traditions

and cultures and and the cultures of our society around

us. We've come from a very

multicultural church in the past and I love it.

There are some beautiful elements of the of culture that

come from from different groups. I can remember just watching the

Brazilian culture and how they do communities so, so well.

Then you know, they'll get together and they'll worship

together and they'll cook a BBQ. One family used to set up a

gazebo on their front driveway and invite their neighbors

along. Like just this beautiful image

of community and bringing people into that community with open

hands. But then there's some also

unhelpful things, particularly from the nations or regions.

I've noticed that it tends to be something that comes from like

the tropical band of the world have this attitude to honouring

time. That's just out the window.

You know, I will make jokes like, Oh, we're, we're on Fiji

time and or you know, I've been in Darwin.

Oh, we run on Darwin time. It's like this, this joke.

And, and so as, as the community of God, we can look to the good

things and go, those are good things that we want to take a

hold of and then look to the unhelpful things and go,

actually in God, I need to let that go.

So, yeah. And the same can be said of

church cultures. We, we spoke a number of months

ago about a culture of worship and a culture of, of unabandoned

worship. I can remember visiting a church

once again coming, having come from a church that was very

extravagant in their worship. And we visited this church and

it had probably maybe 100 people went out and there was a group

of us that visited and, and they had their music time and we were

there and we all, we all went to like lift our hands and worship

God and not another person in the place We're lifting their

hands. And I watched someone else in my

my party, they would, they put their hands up and then they

sort of gone like, because that was the culture of worship they

had in that place. You know, we want we and we,

like I said, we've, we've talked about this, but we want to be a

people who worship God extravagantly.

So, yeah, the and then again, so social cultures, so our society

around us is very bent away from God and away from the gospel.

It will promote things like being selfish.

You've got to put yourself first.

No one else is going to look after you.

Cancel culture. Like, if I don't like what you

have to say, I'm just going to shut you out of my life.

I'm realizing more and more how much feminism has shaped my

perspective of the world. And I'm also, you know, valuing

women at acknowledging how amazing and strong and and

wonderful that God created them, but not at the expense of our

men and not at the expense of our families.

And so we've got to be really real about these things.

So in a natural family, the culture that's set in your home

is set by the adults. There is a culture in your home,

even if you live alone. And we have to be really, really

intentional about the culture that we allow in our, our home,

in our actual homes, and the culture that we allow in this

home. My children, they're born into

my home and they don't get a choice about the culture that

they grow up in. They, they're forced to

assimilate to whatever culture we said.

And sometimes they'll bring behaviours home that are not of

our culture. And sorry, dude, that's not how

we operate in this house. And so likewise, as babies come

into this home, there's, there's a culture that they'll

assimilate to. And This is why Tyrone shared on

this. It's really important for us to

be really aware of what it is that shapes our view and be

willing to change if we need to be willing to submit ourselves

to the ways of God and let him form our our our culture and the

way that we live together. If I want to change the culture

in my home, I have to be so intentional and I have to be

persistent. One thing that Dave and I have

changed recently in the recent months is we don't have the TV

on by and large through the week, especially for the kids,

but then also what we actually put on the TV.

It really matters. The scripture talks about

setting no worthless thing before your eyes.

And so this is something that that we talked about months ago

and we put it into practice. And then time goes on and oh, I

just need to Chuck something mindless on the TV.

And then next minute you're watching something and you're

just like, oh gosh, this is just not the culture that we want in

our home, right? And so you have to like, bring

yourself back and bring yourself back.

And that's why being together is important because we help each

other bring ourselves back. Cool.

So I just wanted to pull a little bit out of Acts 2 just on

just to have a look at what the culture or the the group of

believers looked like early in the early church.

So just in the lead up to this, we're looking at Acts 2, verse

Acts 2:41

41. And in the lead up to this is

where Peter has preached the gospel for the first time.

The people have been cut to their hearts and gone.

What? What is it that we must do?

And he says, repent and be baptized and you'll receive the

gift of the Holy Spirit. And 3000 that day were added to

them. So it was like a massive

outpouring of salvation in that moment.

And so then in 41 it says, so those who received his word were

baptized and they were added, Oh, there we go.

They were added that day, 3000 souls.

And they devoted themselves to the apostles, teaching and the

fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers, and all

came upon every soul and many wonders and signs were being

done through the apostles. I wonder if God was intentional

with saying that all came upon every soul that happened first

potentially, and then many signs and wonders were done.

When we're when we're living in a place of awe and love and

reverence and holy fear of the Lord, it's like a it's like a

conduit for the spirit just to be glorified and for him to do

amazing things. And all who believed we're

together and had all things in common.

And they were selling their possessions and belongings and

distributing the proceeds to all as any had need.

And day by day attending the temple together and breaking

bread in their homes, they received their food with a glad

and generous hearts, praising God and having favour with all

the people and the Lord added to their number day by day those

who are being saved. What an amazing family that

though that people who are being saved for being added to.

It was that there was a culture there of amazing things that was

the the platform for the church. So, so they talk a bit there

about it says that they were devoted to a number of things.

Other versions say they continued steadfastly.

There was like a commitment that that the apostles teaching and

being together, it was of utmost importance to their being.

And so they they devoted and they gave themselves to it.

I talked a little bit when he was here about a culture of

conviction. And so we see in this picture is

that they was just so hungry for the for for Jesus and for his

teachings which the apostles had walked with him and had learnt

everything that they could from him.

And so they were responsible for administrating that and they

were hungry to be a part of that.

They were hungry for the Kingdom of heaven in their lives, just

like Jesus had taught. So I just wonder, are we hungry

for for the conviction that that Jesus brings to us that we would

see the Kingdom of heaven at work in our lives?

Matthew 633 says seek first the Kingdom of God and his

righteousness. So in that we seek every part of

our lives to be right with God. We can easily look at our lives

individually and we would know that there's things that God's

spoken to us about. We would know that there's

things in in the way we conduct ourselves, the way we treat the

people around us, whatever it may be that don't line up with

who he is. And so there's a good place just

to start prayerfully to to go, God transform me here.

Philip Philippians says it's God's will for you to sorry,

it's got at work in you to will, so to want to change and to

change. And so if you have a will to

change, then then it's got at work at you, in you.

But we need to be submitted to him to allow him to do that.

So sometimes I think in the grace teaching of the church, we

can get a bit confused because salvation is a free gift and you

cannot earn that. We do not deserve it.

All we need to do for that is to come to, to, to God and just go.

Thank you. I repent of my, of my old ways

and I turn to you and I and I thank you for the cross and I

thank you that you've died, that I could be made clean and whole

and, and like worthy through Jesus to come into your

presence. And that is a free gift.

And there is nothing that can ever take that away from you.

But seeking righteousness isn't working for salvation.

Seeking righteousness is the only reasonable response.

It's like when someone gives you something that's just crazy

generous and you're kind of like, oh gosh, like, what can I,

what can I give you in return? Like there is nothing that comes

close to this amazing gift. But you know, let me do this.

That's what, that's what seeking righteousness is.

It's like God has given us the most amazing gift, and the only

thing that I can possibly do in return is to do my best to be

worthy of it, you know? And so it's not earning it, but

it's a response. And the New Testament calls us

to journey this together. Hebrews talks about throwing off

the sin that so easily entangles us.

James talks about confessing our sins to one another.

Galatians says that if someone is in sin, restore them gently.

Our revelation of this matters because if we're accepting of

sin in our life, God knows where I'm at.

God's doing a work on me. You know that kind of language.

Then the people who are joining us, that's what their

expectation is. That's the culture that they're

being brought into. The relationships around us tend

to expose those things that God wants to work on ultimately.

I mean, like they're sin sins. Well, the Scripture says the

greatest command is to love God and to love others as yourself

and fulfilling the law is fulfilled in that.

And so everything that we do that falls short of the glory of

God, it fits within those two items.

And so it tends to be the relationships closest to us that

expose these things the most, our marriages, our parenting and

our family. And again, when we live in a

society that's so quick to cut people off, we need to be really

careful that we don't subscribe to that.

But we actually followed the scriptural pattern for for

dealing with sins. You know, Jesus talks in, I

think it's Matthew 18. There's a pattern.

If someone has hurt you or sinned against you, there's a

pattern. If you need to know how to work,

journey that through. Do it with your leaders, with

your family. So yes, always, always with

grace and mercy, but always calling each other upward.

Paul says not that I have attained it, but I press on.

So we've got this this tension. We are a new creation.

We are we have been closed in righteousness, but but not that

I have attained it. I press on for that which Jesus

purchased for me. So yes, I've already said that

the it's not good that man be alone.

The other thing, the next thing that I sort of wanted to, to

zoom in on, I guess, and it, and it flows on from that is the

culture of community. We as people have a need for

community. You, you see it through through

COVID, the, the, how isolated everyone was and it just exposed

that we actually just need community.

In this piece of axe, we see that these people were enjoying

their faith together. I I remember when we first came

back to to Jesus. There was just this hunger, like

we want to be a part of what the church is doing and we want to

be with the people and we want to do, you know, do our part.

And Dave used to come cleaning and they'd have this beautiful

community together where someone brought morning tea and, and

they cleaned the church together And, and it was just a, it was

just, there was life there because it was the people of God

being together, eating together. Obviously Dave's just done a

period of fasting and he's realized that we, we knew it

already, but eating together is such a vital part of, of being

together and growing together. Our community groups are

families within the family in the same way that I always think

of Justin's family when I think of this because it's just neat

and tidy. He's got his parents and then

he's got his three brothers and the three boys are all married

now. And so the boys have their

families and then they come together as a family.

And and so it is with us in many ways, but we are a family and

our community groups are families within families and

Eva's are a family within the family and the figures are a

family, you know, But we are all one family together.

Being together builds familiarity, family parity,

going through life struggles and triumphs together.

It builds trust, deep relationships that are eternal.

Romans 12 says in verse 15, rejoice with those who rejoice

and weep with those who weep. It's doing life together and

going through the ups and downs. You never have to go through

things alone when you've got a real family, a real church

family. And if that hasn't been the case

for us in our past, maybe we need to consider our part to

play in that because relationships are give and take

in the natural. No one wants to be a part of a

relationship where you've got nothing to offer in return,

where you're just can you feel like you're just a constant ZAP

on another person. And, and you know, there's times

in our lives when, when things are going on and that can be a

reality for, for a period. And we need to humble ourselves

and realize that it's OK to receive.

But generally speaking, we want to be in a place where we all

have something to give and we all have something that we can

take from it. I can think of times when I've,

I can remember giving a lady a lift to a women's thing once and

I was so arrogant. I don't know if I've mentioned

this before, but I just thought that I was this and that and I

was going to minister to her. And she gets in the car and she

just starts sharing her life with me.

And I got to the end of the driver just like, Oh my gosh,

she had so much to offer me in that moment and she didn't even

know it. She was just talking and telling

me about life. And I'm like, oh Lord, I've been

so blessed by this time. So we, we need to be humble

enough to realize that in even in the moments where we think

that someone has nothing to give, they have everything to

give. And that's why we, we need to

know, even if I think that I have nothing left, that God will

use me. So yes, it takes humility.

How much does pride inhibit our relationships?

I think pride is so much more pervasive in US, or at least in

me. Then then I might be willing to

admit the the willingness to be vulnerable, to open up if

someone said or done something that's hurt me.

The willingness to accept help. I'm really bad at that.

Willing to admit when we're wrong, to apologize.

We really need to find a place where we can humble ourselves so

that we can do this family well. I think you'll find in in

natural families that do these things well, they're quite

healthy. And so we want to be a healthy

family. And again, we need to consider

the next generation of believers.

How can God meet the lonely into family if we're not living as a

family? You know, I can, I think about,

you know, if a young single mom or a single mom came to be a

part of us, what would the community of God look like to

her? OK, we have a happy clappy

family on on Sunday and the times that we're together, but

then all throughout the rest of the week I've got my own life.

Sorry, can't help or or even not even offering to.

So I guess the question we can ask ourselves is what kind of

family would believers be knit into based on my involvement or

my commitment to this church family?

Again, Ty reminded us they learned from our example.

So when it comes to to church and being together, what's our

attitude? Is it religious?

Are we doing it out of an obligation or a duty, or are we

devoted to God and to fellowshipping with His people?

Lord, let us, let us be devoted to you and your ways and your

word and, and to accept by faith.

That's your intention for us to grow into the image of Christ

and that every single step of obedience takes us there, takes

us closer. So then the the third thing that

I wanted to zoom in on was what Ty called a culture of caring

Acts 244. It was all who believed we're

together and had all things in common.

And I was selling their possessions and belongings and

distributing the proceeds to all as any had need.

I've been amazed by this in the last few years, that all

throughout Scripture God cares about taking care of people's

needs. In Genesis we read about

offerings and they were an act of worship 1st and they always

should be. But when God commanded tithing,

it was to take care of the priests who didn't have an

inheritance with the rest of the Israelites.

They had no way of taking care of their families because they

were set aside to serve God. In Leviticus 23 verse 22, He

Leviticus 23:22

says when you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the

very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your

harvest. Don't gather up everything.

Leave some there. Leave them for the poor and the

foreigner residing among you. I am the Lord your God.

He cares about the people who can't take care of themselves.

We don't rape fields anymore. You know, we get, many of us

might get a pension or we work or, or whatever.

And so we get this money dropped in our bank account.

And So what can it look like for us to adopt this heart of God

that takes care of the people around us?

Well, I'm a budget head. So in my house we budget.

And so in addition to my offerings, we budget for

generosity. Some of us put extras in the

shopping basket to put in the in the pantry here.

We actually do this too. We buy extra bags every week for

the hampers. Some people will will

deliberately put money aside and keep it in their wallet to

prayerfully bless someone throughout their week.

So there's lots of ways that we can practice this and you know

it doesn't. Jesus saw the the woman in the

temple who put in her, her coin into the offering and he said

she's given more than anyone. So we cannot let what we think

is that we don't have means or whatever inhibit us from

participating in this. God will honour whatever it is

that you do out of revelation of his goodness and his heart to

take care of people. It just takes us making a step.

Lots of people out there have ideas of what the church should

be doing in terms of taking care of people and all the rest of

it. But nothing that we do happens

outside of the generosity of the people of our of our family.

There's no government funding for us.

There's there's no, you know, cash advances or whatever.

For us, when we do our ministries, everything that we

do, whether it be Christmas or hampers or anything that we do,

it comes from the, from the generosity of this church

family. And so, and, and, and we've got

such a generous church family. It's, it's really beautiful, but

there's always an opportunity for us to participate in that.

And, and that's what this is. So I guess the question again,

if we're asking ourselves questions is do I have a heart?

Do I know God's heart to take care of, of those who are in

need? And do I share that heart with

him? And Lord, would you grow my

heart in that area? Caring is not just financial,

it's how we serve each other. Jesus demonstrated serving each

other in washing each other's feet.

In Philippians it says do nothing from selfish ambition or

conceit, but in humility count others more significant than

yourselves. In Galatians it says for we

we're called to freedom brothers and they do not use your freedom

as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one

another. So we can always be looking for

ways that we can serve each other again when we come

together. Who can I get a drink for?

Who can I? I love Chantelle when I she was

still pregnant and I had eaten and she would every time we were

together as a group, she would go to the come to me.

She goes, let me get you some food, what do you want or

whatever. And then she would go and get me

a plate and come back. Like how beautiful.

Again, when we're together, we know when we're sick, when we

know when babies are being born. We think about the lonely

people, the people who aren't married, who have dinner by

themselves every night. You know, can we invite someone

over to have dinner with us? Can we take someone out for a

coffee? There's so many opportunities

for us to to take care of each other's needs.

And again, it's going to take humility.

It's going to take opening our eyes and asking God to show us

where can I bless and serve the people around us that you have

called to be my family. And again, when people come into

this environment, they're going to come into a place where

they're so cared for, not just on a weekend or when we're

together, but all the time and they catch it.

And that's the culture that I believe is a Kingdom culture

that we're called to. Ty reminded us that community is

the final apologetic. It's it's the thing that shows

God's love. Jesus says by this all people

will know that you are my disciples if you have love for

one another. God is love, Jesus is love.

We have a family resemblance. I love again.

I'm pretty sure I bring it up every time I speak because it's

just such a but first Corinthians 13.

I use it as a litmus test for my love of people.

Am I being patient? Am I being kind?

Am I bearing were held of wrong? Am I believing the best of

people? These are like this is who God

is and we are created in his image and we've been reborn into

his family. And so these are the things that

that we can prayerfully seek to participate in.

So I just want to close with this scripture.

I've read it a few weeks ago and I was just like, oh gosh, this

is just amazing. It's Romans 12, verse 9 to 18.

Romans 12:9–18

It says, let love be genuine, abhor what is evil, hold fast to

what is good, love one another with brotherly affection, outdo

one another with showing honour. Do not be slothful in zeal, but

fervent in spirit. Serve the Lord, rejoice in hope,

be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer, Contribute

to the needs of the Saints and seek to show hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you. Bless and do not curse them.

Rejoice with those who rejoice. Weep with those who weep.

Live in harmony with one another.

Do not be haughty, but associate with the Lily.

Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but

give thought to do what is honourable in the sight of all,

if possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably

with all. So yeah, so that's that's what

God had put on my heart. And it was really cool when Ty

was here because he touched on so many of them.

So my prayer is, is that as a church family, we would just

take a hold of the things that God speaking to us to and just

be committed to doing that which he's called us to do.

So Lord, we thank you. We thank you for this amazing

family that you've established on the earth.

We thank you that that Jesus is the head and we are the body and

that we have this opportunity to partake in in everything that

you've created for us to be a part of.

We thank you that your purpose for us is growth and

transformation to be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ.

We thank you that even as families by design, they grow

and multiply that we would take a hold of this Kingdom culture,

Lord, and that and that the babies that come into this

family, Lord, would be would be also transformed into your image

in these ways that the platform of culture would get more and

more closer to to heaven the more that we grow and continue

on this path. Lord God, we pray for

perseverance. We pray that you would help us

to to call each other onward and upward to the things that you

have for us. Lord, We pray that you would

help us to restore each other with with gentleness and love

and life and hope. Lord, we just pray that that you

would be glorified this morning, Lord, anything that was not of

your heart, God, I just pray let it fall aside, Lord, but but

that which was of your word, of your, of your stamp of approval,

Lord, that would take a deep press on our hearts, God, that

we would just be committed to, to throwing off the, the sin

that entangles us and to pursuing your Kingdom and your

righteousness. Lord, we thank you that as we do

that we, we come into closest communion with you Father, and

we know you better and we enjoy your peace and your joy and your

life and your hope. And we thank you for this in

Jesus name, Amen. Thank you for joining us for

today's message. For more information about The

Way Church, please visit [email protected] dot

AU. Have a blessed day.