Titus Part 5 - Wholehearted Women

Thank you, Greg.

He's reminding me I need a mic.

Wasn't that beautiful, ladies?

Wow.

Amanda, Christy, thank you.

That was uh I just did anybody else feel the presence of the Lord here?

Oh my gosh.

Just sets my soul free.

Wow.

Well, welcome, ladies, to Shine.

It's good to have you here with us tonight.

Has anybody had a busy week so far?

Yeah, yeah.

It's been busy.

It's good.

There's challenges.

Has anybody else had challenges this week?

Yeah.

But isn't it wonderful to know the Lord is walking through these challenges with us, ladies?

He is with us.

He is with you.

He is with you in your challenge.

He is with you in your joy.

And you will overcome as long as you stay connected and focused on him.

Wow.

The worship was really good.

I just want to take a minute and pray.

Lord, I thank you for being with us in that worship.

Thank you for anointing Amanda and Christy to lead us in worship.

Father, I'm just more aware than ever of your presence.

I'm more aware than ever that you are leading us.

You are leading shine because you want us to shine.

And you're leading us in how to do that.

We receive you, Holy Spirit, the work you're wanting to do in our lives.

We need you.

Holy Spirit, would you please come tonight and work in my life and Liz's life and Amanda's life and each one of us, each woman here has come because she's hungry for more of you.

And it's not because you're holding yourself back.

It's because we need to be more aware.

So, Lord, may we be more aware as we sang tonight and receive what you're doing and see what you're doing because you are up to something.

And I see it, I sense it, I hear it.

I'm watching you work in these ladies' lives.

I'm watching you work here tonight.

And I thank you for it.

We thank you for it, Lord.

Thank you for the worship.

We pray as Barb comes up to share her testimony nugget, that you would just anoint her to share what you've done in her life and to bring you glory.

I know that's her heart.

And as Liz comes up to share from your word in Titus too, Lord, that you would anoint her to bring forth your heart, that you would speak through her lips, that you would uh, and as it goes out, that it would be truth that goes into each lady's heart here to anoint their hearts to be the worshipers and the warrioresses that you call them to be, to fight for your glory, to renew their minds.

We thank you for it, Lord.

So thank you, Father.

We could go on in prayer.

Thank you for bringing each woman here and what you're gonna do in each of our lives tonight, Father, in Jesus' name.

Amen.

Isn't it hard to come out of worship sometimes?

It's like going from one realm into another.

We could just stay there.

So, but we have we have great things to come.

Um, yeah, I have some announcements to make, but first, Barb, if you would come up, where'd you go, Barb?

Oh, there you are.

It's like I thought you were there.

Um, and uh yeah, I'm excited to hear what you have to say.

Here you go, Barb.

All right, I have to testify of the Lord's goodness before I can even tell you my testimony nugget.

Last week after Allie gave her testimony nugget, in my heart I said, Lord, if you called on me, what would I say?

I don't even know what I would say.

And he said, Redeemed.

And then he brought Isaiah 43.1b to me.

Fear not, for I have redeemed you.

I have called you by name.

You are mine.

And I was blown away, and I went home and I told my husband, I said, I don't know when that time's gonna come, but I'm just trusting God.

Phone rings on Sunday.

Uh Barb, I was praying, and God said, You're supposed to give the testimony nugget this week.

Inside, I'm laughing.

And on the other end, she says, and I'll pray for you that you would know what to speak.

I said, Don't worry, already given to me.

So then I began to toil over God, but what if this doesn't match what the message is?

I know we're studying Titus, but redeemed?

And so I know everything's about redemption, God, but really?

And so I wrestled.

I woke up in the night last night from three to five.

I was wrestling and toiling over what to say.

And I went downstairs this morning at five o'clock, got on my phone.

I don't ever check my email, check my email, saw what's upcoming at the road.

I don't ever look at that either, sorry, not usually.

So anyway, sorry.

I mean, because I just I'm always here, so it doesn't matter.

So I said, okay, I'm gonna look at it.

And when I read, shine, I just want you to know I had no idea what God was doing.

And he said, the name of this week's message is redeemed to be his.

I fell out, ladies.

I started falling, and I used it to minister to my son this morning because I want him to understand that God speaks in still small ways.

And you don't think sometimes that it's significant, but it is.

And I didn't have any idea that leading up to today that it was part of God's plan because he loves us so much.

He has redeemed us.

And so I just want to tell you, he gave me a flash of things in my life that he has redeemed.

I'm the youngest of nine children.

My parents divorced when I was eight.

I would say I was the unseen child.

I was tossed from home to home.

I was not raised by my parents.

I had a lot of bitterness, I had anger, I had judgment.

Um, I wasn't going to rely on a man ever.

They were louses.

Um, I just had a lot of baggage, ladies, lots of baggage.

And then my husband, I met him in college.

We got married as a little girl.

I at five, I can remember sitting on the stoop of my front porch and looking up in the sky and saying, There has to be a God.

There has to be more to life than just being born at five.

So God already put his hand on my life as a little girl, but I didn't understand anything.

And as I went through and I really made a mess of my life, and I got married, and two years later, I left my husband and I had an affair and moved to California.

And God began to reach deep into my life.

And in that place, my husband got saved.

We reconciled in 1987, and he moved to California, and I didn't know it, but little did I know God was going to require me to bring into the light what was done in darkness.

And God began to set us up to go to a marriage retreat.

We went on the marriage retreat not knowing what the subject matter was going to be.

And when we got there that Friday night, God had already told me I was going to tell my husband everything that had happened during the separation.

And I was afraid because we always said if it ever happened, we'd leave one another.

And so I said, Okay, God, I trust you.

We walked in, and the man stood up and he said, We're going to talk about the ability to recover marriages from adultery.

Again, I fell out.

I'm like, really, God?

God, this has been, this is what God does in our lives.

If we will listen, he will redeem everything.

And from there, God began to redeem and rebuild my life.

And he rebuilt my marriage into something we've now been married 30 years.

I love him more than I did the day I married him.

Even more than the day that God set me free.

And my husband loved me so unconditionally from that moment.

I never knew unconditional love until the love of my husband enfolded me in his arms and he said, I forgive you.

And even though the next day he couldn't look at me, he got on his knees and asked me a half hour later that I would forgive him because he couldn't understand how he could deal with someone having touched his wife.

And I said, By the grace of God, that you can even look at me and love me.

You're asking me to forgive.

So I want you to know, ladies, there is nothing that God cannot redeem.

He redeemed my marriage, and then from there, I, because I was not raised by my parents, and there was a lot of animosity in my heart, God began to work on me about my parents.

And he says, even in his word, he talks about honor your father and mother, for this is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and you may enjoy a long life on this earth.

And God began to work on me.

And by the time my mom passed away in 2007, I had a great relationship with my mother, and she couldn't understand, but I couldn't care for her enough.

I couldn't love her enough.

And she said, How can you do this for me?

I said, Because the love of God compels me.

He loves you, mom.

My mom got saved, my dad got saved before he died in 2010.

Not one of them was left behind.

And then I also had an opportunity in California.

We befriended a woman who lived on the streets.

We were adopting her daughter because she was sick with AIDS.

And God had told her that he would help her raise her daughter, but she thought she was too sick.

She came to us, we began to adopt her, and then she changed her mind.

It was painful, it was very painful.

But by the grace of God, she completed the race.

That daughter was raised by her, and she has graduated college.

Her mom went home to be with the Lord four years ago.

But in the meantime, I could not conceive.

And so I was like, okay, so at 12 years of marriage, I laid that on the altar.

At 17 years of marriage, he changed the plan.

And he redeemed even that, and I was given a son.

And I have a son now who's 13 years old.

And so this is what I would say.

There is nothing that you can go through.

Romans 8, 35 through 37.

Who shall separate us from the love of God?

Shall tribulation or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?

For your sake, we are being killed all the day long.

We are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

What I want you to understand is that love covers a multitude of sin.

My life is about love covering a multitude of sin, first at the cross, and then through relationships, that God began to restore to me everything that had been stolen.

My parents, my husband, a child, and the love of people.

And I just want you to know that there is nothing that can keep you from growing to be all that God has called you to be if you will allow him to redeem you and redeem everything that has happened.

Love will be enough, and it's his love.

And because of that, I'm now beloved wife, beloved mother, beloved daughter, and beloved friend.

Thank you, Lord.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you so much, Barb.

Anyone encouraged here?

Yeah.

Thank you, Lord.

Thank you, Lord.

Wow.

Okay, we're done.

Can we can we take more?

Um okay, just a few notes.

Next week, Chandler is going to share her testimony nugget with us.

Is that correct?

I meant to confirm that with you before.

I mean, she said she would.

She told me she would, but I was gonna talk to you.

I forgot, sorry about that.

This is a small group, all right.

Um we're experiencing a problem.

But it's a good kind of problem to have.

We're supposed to be done by 8:30.

And we are enjoying ourselves so much.

So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna set an alarm on my phone to go off at 8.25.

And that way it's a clear time to end.

You can wrap up and at 8.30, those who need who need to go.

I know none of us really want to go yet, but those who need to go can go.

Feel free to go at 8.30.

If your group's praying or don't feel like you have to stay, that you're going to interrupt the flow of the Holy Spirit.

If you need to go, you go, okay?

I just want to make that real clear.

And those who want to linger, linger.

Those who want to help reset, reset.

Okay, there's freedom for everybody to do what God's leading them to do.

So um, anyhow, um, the 31st, there'll be a carnival here after the service.

It'll be a condensed, a short service, and it'll be a carnival of tables and bounce houses and games and treats, and it'll be really fun.

So bring all your little ones, and it'll be it'll be great.

Um uh and it Jan and I will have a table, a whale of a time.

And we're gonna have cornhole there, and the kids can we're gonna have a little Jonah on there, they can throw Jonah in the whale.

So if anybody wants to join us, come join us for a whale of a time.

I mean, if we have a choice, why not have fun, right?

Um just uh I won't go into it, but just to testify that God is wanting his bride to shine.

I ran into Linda Stankey.

Is Linda here tonight?

Linda connected me with um the with a with a lady, and I I didn't I knew them, but I didn't know them from uh another church we went to um years ago, and their daughters, we kind of watched them grow up, and they have written a book and they have a CD and they're doing a conference, and the name of their book and the conference is Made to Shine.

Ladies, God is doing something, He wants his bride to shine.

These two young gals are reaching out to young women.

It's a free thing.

I have some little things up here, I'll lay it up here if anybody wants any.

It's for teenage daughters and their moms.

It's free.

They'll take a love offering, but feel free to come get one.

Or if you know a teenage daughter and mom that might want to, then feel free to um pick one up and take that.

And then another thing, last week we talked about Titus II and we talked about mentoring, we talked about um what is what is the uh the what was the main part of my talk?

Let's see if I can remember, about um practicing sound doctrine.

And part of that is is taking care of the little ones, remember?

And we have the opportunity for next gen junior that we can sign up.

I have a sign-up sheet here.

That if anybody wants to help with next gen junior to go down and play with those kids and help teach them the truth of God's love and how much love them and hug them and hold them.

Um, if we could get four to six people to sign up for each week, then we can cover it for next gen and be a blessing to the little ones, and we get the opportunity to pour out and receive.

So uh this will be circulating around through the tables.

If you want to sign up, feel free to.

It's self-explanatory.

And um Liz will be sharing with us tonight.

Would could you share just a just a thumbnail of what they could expect when they come down there to serve next gen?

Okay, yeah, so come on up.

Liz is gonna be sharing tonight, and um this is this is for you.

Thank you.

I'm so glad that we're all here.

Um, next gen junior is the one to four year olds, and we are splitting the class.

Uh Dina is actually our our um next gen junior coordinator.

And I might have you share a little bit.

Are you okay?

But I I will say this: we're splitting the class.

This is a one, it has been one to four years old.

And I was thinking, would I want to be a one-year-old in that class with the four-year-old going waah?

And we decide we're gonna split the class.

And we're getting a little bigger, um, it's growing kind of steadily.

So um we're excited.

Busy four-year-olds when you say they're over those one-year-olds.

So we do need to split the classes.

Yes.

So we're gonna do ones and twos in one class and threes and fours in another class.

Oh, do I?

I need this, okay.

Um, and what to expect.

Everything is on DVD this year, so it's awesome for you.

Um, the Bible story is on DVD, the um the worship songs are on DVD, you get to do a craft with them, you get to have snacks with them, you get to have what?

Snacks?

Snacks.

Snacks.

What do you think I said?

I don't know.

Sorry.

Well, um pure mindful, all things are pure.

So um, they're a lot of fun.

They're they're a hoot.

I have a two-year-old in that class, and and we have sand in there now, too.

We have a sandbox to play in.

We do.

So and they they are a riot, let me tell you.

So, yeah, please sign up.

You'll love it.

You will love it.

Yeah.

Should I put that right here?

Okay.

All right.

So thank you all for considering that.

And it's so good to be here tonight.

Um, I love this little book, Titus.

Always thought I knew what it was about until I had to study it to teach it.

And you know, I feel so honestly, two emotions about getting to teach this.

And um, it's I'm so happy to teach God's word.

But I'm so I feel so unworthy.

Um, and I just I said to the Lord, I said, Lord, I pray I can teach it better than I live.

It and it's so exciting because God's word is so rich, it's so exciting.

And I hope you wake up in the morning and say, I can't wait to get into his word and just go there and be a receiver because it makes a difference.

Every day in the word makes a difference because what you're doing is you're building one truth upon another, and then you see how they all connect, and it's so exciting, and it's so exciting to get to be a Christian a long time, you know.

I just I love that, and um I was telling my kids a little while ago, it's like don't miss your quiet time because you're gonna see all of a sudden how that truth over there fits with this one, and this one is so pertinent over here.

It's it's like a big web, and it's so amazing.

So, anyway, um, just just a plug for quiet times.

They're awesome.

Um this little book that little pencil keeps falling.

Yes, it's not mine, but I'm going to just go put it over here because it doesn't bother me.

Okay.

What's amazing about the book of Titus is um it's a to me, I I love visuals.

So what I see is there is a church that's lacking.

Thank you.

There's a church that's lacking, and there is a leader that's being charged to bring health to the church.

And the church is in Crete, and the leader is Titus.

Um the um to me, the really important word for this book is the Greek word for Tha'o.

We talked about it when I was here a couple weeks ago talking about um a passage.

It was uh Titus 1 um verse 5.

And let's read that again.

Let's um this is the charge from Paul, the apostle Paul, to Titus about the church in Crete.

For this reason I left you in Crete that you should set in order the things that are lacking and appoint elders in every city as I commanded you.

So um we have a church in Crete that's lacking, we have a leader, Titus, and we have a church that becomes very healthy.

If you remember, I said that the church in Crete today um will have 95% of the population saying, I belong to the church.

That's a pretty healthy church.

There was tons of Muslim, uh Opposition in Crete, and they they were strong.

And it's because Titus put good leaders in every city.

So this is an important charge.

It's say it's ortho.

That's where we get the word orthodontist, orthopedics, it's straightening what's crooked, fixing what's broken.

And isn't that the Christian life?

That's what Barb was talking about.

That God fixes broken things.

What about our lives?

Do we have troubles?

Do we have a need for or thaw?

And that is setting in order, something that's lacking.

Do we have that?

Because God is so good about leading us to know how to set in order something that's broken.

Is it a formula?

No.

It's not.

It's not a formula.

I wish it was.

I wish it was like there was a little manual.

If you have this trouble, do exactly this.

Sometimes it's in the word, but it comes from the Holy Spirit.

So is there something lacking in your life that God wants to speak into it and say, this is how you set it in order.

This is how you get it healthy.

What about your families?

Is there something in your family that's broken?

Is there something that's not right?

God wants to set that in order.

And so He's gonna look to you to help get that set in order.

See, this whole Christian life is a partnership.

It's a partnership with the Holy Spirit.

It's a partnership with this great manual that tells us what to do.

And so that's why I love to get into the Word.

It's like, oh, it's so rich, it's so real, it's so ortho, is what it is.

Remember that God's first gift to us is discomfort.

When we are in trouble, it's discomfort.

Discomfort gives way to change.

It's the parent of change, discomfort.

We would never want to change anything, would we?

If everything was like monotone good, never.

But God gives us discomfort.

And we see it in our bodies too.

You know, if we have a discomfort, we have something going on, we know, oh, I should go to the doctor, or I should get more of those supplements, or you know, that's how we that's how it works in life and what in the natural speaks in the spiritual.

Um, I want to talk to you about my little pinky.

You um, this is uh this is a little thing about my pinky.

Um I was saying discomfort gives way to change.

Um, the greatest discomforts are our greatest gifts.

Um, I want to talk to you about this pinky.

We're talking about orthopedics.

I can't straighten this pinky.

Um I was playing football with one of my sons.

Um this is a my son is a Division I middle infielder.

Why was I doing it?

Some problems here.

A 50-year-old playing football with a very good thrower is not a good idea, it's just not.

And we were at a retreat, and I was like, oh, ah, ah, this is hurts.

Like, ha.

Um it didn't hurt enough for me to do very much about it.

And um, and I thought, oh, it's gonna get better.

It's gonna get better.

Sure.

It's I'm sure.

I don't I don't want to go to the doctor, I don't want to take time.

So I didn't.

And it and then all of a sudden I'm looking at it going, I don't think it's gonna get better.

It's like, what's going on?

So um a little later I went and got I went and saw, I think a doctor, I think.

Yeah, I did.

I can't remember.

All I remember is I did I did physical therapy.

So this lady would sit there and go like this on it and pull and push, and I was like, oh, and then I had to wear this thing.

This remember the thing I had to wear, it was like this splint, and it would like pull it out, and it would like be like, and so I was I was thinking, uh and it actually straightened for a while, like it looked straight, and then they said, Well, it's time to take off that stuff, it's time for you to be done.

Like, I let's see how it goes.

So I took it off, and then bing.

And uh I was I thought, wow, this is it, this is my finger.

So I went back and said, um, what's up with this?

And they said, um, they said, Well, you probably didn't come in in time, and so now you we can have a surgery and we can re-break the bone and you can do all of the things you did before.

I'm like, oh my goodness.

And of course I give my son a hard time, and so I like to teasing is one of my love languages.

So every time I'd see him, I'd go, I need a glass of water, see?

Because you did this.

Anyway, so um he's a good teaser too.

So um, anyway, I decided, well, they said, and the surgery might not work.

So I decided, forget it, forget it.

And it was hard for me to look at my hand because I you know how when something goes wrong, it's hard for us to accept that.

I was like, oh, like, can I do this?

Can I not fix it?

And the thing that made me be okay with this was um that I would just have it be a reminder of that I'm vulnerable, that I'm getting older, that um I am humble, I need to be humble, and I should think about what I'm doing a little more.

So here I am.

This is my finger, and it made but it made me embrace it.

I'm like, I like this finger.

Yay! It has a purpose.

But anyway, the problem with this was it didn't hurt enough for me to do anything about it.

And I waited and I waited, and I hoped it would go away, and it never did.

And it was a good reminder for all of us right now to say, if there's something going on, don't ignore that.

Take it to God, take it to maybe people around you that can pray for you, that can advise you.

Don't leave things uh lacking that God wants to bring or thaw to.

So that's my little pinky story.

And I want to say again, discomfort is a great gift from God.

So if you are in discomfort tonight, it's okay.

Embrace it.

Embrace your discomfort.

And God's gonna use it, he's gonna help you if you let him, just like Barb said, if you let him.

And if you ignore, you might end up with something that that is permanently not right because you're not gonna, you just ignore it.

Um, so I just want to say that if Titus hadn't done what Paul said, we may not have had a good church in Crete, probably not, and people wouldn't have come to know Christ all these centuries in Crete, so and we wouldn't have this little book that's so awesome.

So, and just to let Barb know how perfectly God speaks, uh, I have here right after my pinky point, the ultimate reality is redemption.

And that was from Oswald Chambers, who also, if you know um his utmost for my highest, it's a great devotional book.

And I think you need to know that he struggled with depression, and so uh he understood redemption very well.

Well, Titus is very competent, and God wants to make us competent to fix, to be that partnership, to get something right in our lives.

Um, let me tell you about Titus.

In uh uh it says that Titus, I'm gonna read a lot of these uh scriptures are from 2 Corinthians, and I'm gonna put them in the notes online, but I'm just gonna read what the scriptures say, the little points.

Titus brought rest to Paul.

Titus was a comforter of the downcast.

Titus was able to be refreshed by other people, he was a receiver.

Titus has the ability to be a completer of a task.

We saw that we see that in this book.

Titus earnestly cares for others.

Titus is a partner, fellow worker of Paul, and messenger of the church.

Titus takes advantage of no one.

Titus was a leader for many regions.

He was a he was a great orthopedic of the church.

He helped the Corinthian church, which had so many problems.

He was in Crete and he also went to Dalmatia.

And uh I don't know if that's where we get the dog name.

I have no idea.

But anyway.

So what is Titus doing to set order in Crete?

Um, he's letting us know in what what Robin, what Christine covered last week.

Um he's going to tell us that to have a healthy church we need healthy individuals.

And he does a little directory.

Um, and it's by gender and age, he's got the older men going here, he's got the older women, he's got younger women, and then we're gonna talk tonight about the younger men.

And so he goes through the different categories and he tells these categories of people what they should be doing, basic instructions.

And so he's going to talk about the young men tonight.

Um, young men would be uh probably in the realm of um probably 20s and 30s, kind of 40-ish, maybe.

Um how many of you have sons?

Oh, almost everybody.

So that is kind of exciting because we can be a part of helping them grow.

We can be a part of helping our young men be those healthy individuals.

We can pray them into those places and we can encourage them.

So we're gonna talk tonight about that.

I'm gonna just say a prayer real quick for you and me to understand what we can do to help young men around us.

Father, we want to be those women that help the young men in our lives be all they can be for you, Jesus.

We want to see young men all around us be those healthy individuals that um proclaim and show your goodness to the world.

Father, use tonight to bring the power of the Holy Spirit and the exposure of your word to bring about great things for your kingdom.

In Jesus' name.

Amen.

Um there is a lot of things, there are a lot of things that the church does that will be more perfect in heaven.

One is worship, we're gonna do that more perfectly in heaven, another would be ministry, another would be fellowship.

We'll do all those things more perfectly in heaven.

There's one thing that the church will be doing now, not in heaven.

And what is that?

Evangelism.

That is the one thing that we are going to be doing on this earth that we're not gonna do anymore when we're get to heaven.

This these passages have to do with evangelism.

There is nothing more powerful than a transformed life.

Nothing more powerful than a transformed life.

When I went to UCLA as a freshman, I ran into a group of Christians that were living a very were living very extraordinary lives.

And they were Christians that really loved with agape love.

And I didn't have to be around them very long to realize that I did not know how to do that.

I had never seen that, and this is something new, and it was very convicting.

And I wanted just to impress upon you tonight that you can be those kind of people.

You can be, and I can be, and it is powerful, and probably nobody would have guessed that I was thinking about Jesus when I left that place because also I couldn't stand them either.

They made me feel so uncomfortable, they made me feel so uncomfortable.

I was like, I'm I I don't like these people, I am getting out of here, and I'm never coming back.

And so they probably thought, man, that that Liz.

Well, three weeks later, they got me thinking so much that I put my faith in Christ.

And I don't know, I don't know if any of them know how much their lives spoke to my heart.

They probably don't, but they will.

They will.

So we do this by faith because we may not be very cool and we may not be very accepted, but we are gonna make a difference if we choose to be those kind of believers.

So uh we're gonna talk about the transformed life in these passages.

Titus is a young man, probably in his 30s.

The young men that we're gonna read about in a second are his peer group.

Paul was in his mid-60s, Timothy, who's another good guy for Jesus, is in his 40s, and Titus is probably in his mid-30s.

So let's read this part of the scripture.

Likewise exhort the young men.

I'm reading in uh verse 6, chapter 2, I'm gonna read till verse 10.

Likewise exhort the young men to be sober-minded in all things, showing yourself to be a pattern of good works in doctrine, showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, sound speech, that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you.

Exhort bondservants to be obedient to their own masters, to be well pleasing in all things, not answering back, not pilfering, but showing all good fidelity, that they may adorn the doctrine of our of God, our Savior, in all things.

This is about evangelism.

If you notice, there's three times the word showing is mentioned.

Showing.

Um there's an offering of something.

That's what I experienced.

Someone was showing me something when I went to a meeting at UCLA, and it made a difference.

So is it because there people are showing or telling about God?

No, they're showing also, and that's so important.

We're gonna look at six, seven, and eight mostly for a little bit, and um in um verse six uh we have um the command to Titus to exhort the young men to be sober-minded, and that's the first thing that needs to happen.

Sober-minded, is that a really popular quality?

Just like if somebody said, So what's so-and-so like?

Oh, they're sober-minded.

You'd be like, huh, that's great, wonderful, can't wait to meet them.

Umed in the Greek is sofrineo, and it means self-controlled.

It means to be calm, not wild or driven by passion, freedom from inordinate passions, solemnness and heaviness without sadness.

I thought that was interesting.

Self-restraint is a special need of youth.

Um, it's a special need for all of us, but youth lack experience.

And so um Sofraneo is sober-minded.

Um it means to have a sound mind.

It means to be have a saved mind, it means we have saved thoughts.

If you're thinking a thought that doesn't reflect your salvation, I would question who's giving that thought to you.

It's the devil.

Um we have to have saved thoughts.

That's why being in this word is so important.

Saved thoughts.

Um it means to have a moderate estimation of yourself.

Uh I think about five years ago I started to see how self in my life was such a big issue.

Um I I I really think that self has a whole spectrum of ways to that expresses negative things.

Self-promotion, self-exaltation, self-condemnation, self-protection.

Um, all those things have the same effect.

They're an absorption with ourselves.

The problem with our society is there's a lot of self that is pushed.

Um and um I think that uh it's it's really important to figure out how self is working in your life.

We're not gonna ever get rid of self, rats.

We will always battle, but we can diminish it, and we diminish it through the power of the Holy Spirit.

I'm gonna talk to you just a little bit about that because it's part of being sober-minded, and we all have to know that and have that to help other people and to help ourselves.

Oh, yes.

Um, Andrew Murray said in a book called Absolute Surrender Do you ever think about praying for the Holy Spirit's power, not just to do works for God, but to have power over self.

And that's so true, that's so important.

Um a concern I have is um social media for us believers.

I have a concern about that.

Um, God was obviously concerned about me.

I felt like He said, I was on, I was I did Facebook for a while.

I felt like the Lord said, You need to come off of Facebook.

And I actually saw him grab my hand.

Kind of visual and just pull me off.

And it was, it's been really freeing.

And I'm not saying it's bad to be on Facebook.

I'm not saying that.

Because actually, Steve's really good about that.

He he just posts little things and is kind of minimal.

And for me, I would I would be like, you know, I'm just gonna stay on here a little bit.

And then I'd go, oh, what is that person doing?

Oh, hmm.

And then, you know, all this time would go by.

But I also realized for me that I could promote myself, and that image is was a little bit too much in my for me in terms of Facebook.

Be careful, ladies, of Facebook or those kind of things.

Be careful because God wants us to guard our hearts.

It's more about your heart.

It's not about, oh, this is so bad you shouldn't do it, or the pastor's wife doesn't do it, so you know, she's saying, but but I do have some things to say about it.

Um there was some there was some studies done, and um they this is what came out of uh the effects of Facebook on our mental health.

Um they said this safe um social media, it was it was social media uh uh as a big category, is addictive.

63% uh of uh users of social media would check their accounts every day.

Forty percent check them multiple times a day.

Um social media makes us compare our lives with others.

Um and people, there are studies done that people who are looking on other people's accounts aren't happy, they're becoming less happy.

So be careful, be careful.

Um social media also um has uh is known to change behaviors.

53% of users of social media said they had change, they saw change in their behavior because they were on social media.

And 51% said it was negative, the the behaviors that they started to see in their lives.

Um, social media gives rise to bullying for especially teens.

95% of teens said they have witnessed bullying when they're on there, 33% have been victims.

70% of 12 to 17 year olds are users of social media, and they are five times more likely to use tobacco because they see it on social media, three times more likely to use alcohol, two times more likely to use marijuana.

Um peer pressure, is what the basic thing is.

Um Facebook, the University of Michigan said more avid users are over overall more unhappy than those who use the site much less.

Umcial media can lead to fear of missing out.

Everyone's having fun but me.

I had I experienced all these things, um, not the some of them, but some of those things.

And uh just be careful of your heart because God wants your heart to be ready for him.

And if you can handle Facebook or anything like that, awesome.

If you feel like this is real, God's really using me and I don't feel that whatever, that's good, that's great.

Be careful if you are though, and just say, Lord, what do you want me to do with that?

What do you want me to do?

So, um, and also warn your kids.

I think kids are more susceptible to some of to these kinds of things.

Um, but the thing that gets me with uh social media is selfies.

I mean, it's about self, right?

So be careful.

Um so in verse uh six, we have likewise exhort the younger men to be sober-minded.

We talked about what that is.

It's um to have a moderate view of yourself, to have a saved mind, to have solemnness and heaviness without sadness.

You know why we have to be solemn and heavy?

Because look at our world.

If we're if we're not a little bit solemn and heavy, um we need to wake up.

This is a sad world.

And we don't have to have sadness, though, because Jesus is with us, and Jesus is joy.

But there's that that um solemnness that that comes with just being aware of what's in our world.

Um in verse 7, it's uh it says, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works, in doctrine, showing integrity, reverence, and in uh incorruptibility.

Uh showing is to offer or present yourself up close and personal.

It's in the Greek para komenos, perakomenos.

Um if you know the word paraclet, that's for the Holy Spirit.

Para is with, cleat is helper, and para means close, right beside.

So we're to have a witness to people that's right beside them.

That's what I experienced years ago.

So think about that.

Think about presenting yourself.

Who in your life are you trying to show God's love to?

And um, he's saying the young men need to be sober-minded so that they can be ready to show themselves a pattern of good works.

Pattern, I love this Greek word.

It's tupos, it means like a blow of a hammer.

It leaves a mark.

Is my life leaving a mark on anybody?

Is my life doing that?

Is is am I around people that I can actually be leaving a mark on?

Um so, and then let's look at the word good, pattern of good works.

I love this word too.

I'm a word junkie.

I love word studies and I love words and I love foreign languages, so sorry.

But right, Anna.

I'm always talking about words and stuff, but kalos in the Greek is beautiful, good, worthy.

So having a pattern where you're blowing like a hammer something beautiful onto people's lives, a pattern of good works, and a pattern would be something consistent over a long period of time.

We just keep doing it, we keep doing it, we keep doing it.

Um, and it's winsome, and it's well done.

So think about that.

Think about isn't that cool that God would let us be those kind of people that we could blow on to someone like a hammer, something beautiful and good and winsome.

It's so exciting.

We have this opportunity to do that.

We have this opportunity to be that kind of believer for Jesus.

Um doctrine, so we're gonna look at um, all right, let's let's let's see.

Good works.

Works are labor, action, deed.

We have a of um a Christian life that is about doing, it's about moving, it's about action.

It's not about sitting a lot, although it is important to get recharged to be out there for Jesus.

Um, I know Billy Graham said that he never regretted any time he spent in God's word.

He wished he had done more of that.

Um, but we also have to be ready to be out there.

And you know what I love about the road is most people are like that kind of person.

They get out there, they just want to help, they want to serve.

We have a culture of contributors and servants, and that's what God wants us to be.

And so um we were really blessed.

And um, I love I when I look around at so many of you, most of you, and some people I don't know as well, but I think about what you do for Jesus, and it's so powerful, it's so amazing, and keep going.

And those of you who feel like I need a little push, hang out, keep keep coming, keep being around these great women.

You will start feeling that I'm I'm out here, I'm doing it.

Um so uh good works, deeds, um, doctrine.

Uh, we're talking about um in doctrine, showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility.

Doctrine is um a teaching.

So um Paul is asking Titus to charge young men to have teaching that is showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility.

Um, integrity is lacking the capacity to decay.

Isn't that cool?

That there are things we can be doing that we can be speaking and telling others that will not decay.

Think about all the things we do that are in decay, you know, like the dishes I did last night.

I bet they're out on the counter again.

Um that laundry I did, oh, you know, it's back.

So, but there are things for God that we can do that will not go into decay.

That's powerful, that is so powerful.

And we can speak things that are the in truth to others that won't go into decay.

And um I'm so glad so many great people have spoken things into my life that did not go into decay.

Um, so uh let's look at the word um reverence.

Reverence is that sense of gravity, it's sem notes, it's time honored, it's to exalt what's noble.

Um, you know what's so awesome about what God tells us to do is it's for our own good.

I think I said last time that I spoke that God doesn't need your obedience, but you do.

You need your obedience.

And so I love this uh this uh proverb.

It says, Happy is the man who is always reverent.

He who hardens his heart will fall into calamity.

So having a reverent heart, thinking of things that are noble, that are, that have that sense of gravity, you're gonna be happy.

Isn't that amazing?

You can be gra you can have gravity and happiness in one in one word, reverence.

Um we're gonna look at verse eight.

Sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is uh that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you.

Sound speech.

Sound again is uh hygienist, and that is the word that we get high hygienic, health.

So having healthy speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you.

Um it's sad but true that we have opponents, and people are watching.

They are watching, and there are people that um that don't like you because of your faith.

Um it says in 2 Timothy, um, I think it's 4-8.

It's maybe not though, so but it does talk about that those who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.

So you will have people that persecute you just because you want to be godly, not even that you're doing it, it doesn't even say that, but it says that we will have people that will oppose us.

Uh a persecution is anyone who opposes us.

And a lot of times the people that we may be winning to Christ down the road may be our persecutors at first.

So um we don't want to have things, we don't want to say things that they can bring against us.

Be careful of that.

Our mouths are something to watch.

Yes.

Um let's look at verse 9.

Exhort bondservants to be obedient to their own masters, to be well pleasing in all things, not answering back, not pilfering, but showing all good fidelity, that they may adorn the doctrine of God, our Savior, in all things.

Um exhort bondservants, bondservants is the word doulos, which Robin, I mean Christine had spoken about the first time she gave a message.

Dulos is bondservant that Paul said he was.

So here we have bondservants that were really bondservants, they were slaves, and this passage is not talking about slavery as a subject, but it's talking about what it there were slaves back in those times.

There were a lot of slaves.

How did you live?

How are you going to live?

And it said that that the slaves that were in the church were to be obedient to their own masters, to be well pleasing in all things, not answering back, not pilfering, but showing all good faithfulness, loyalty, fidelity, that they may adorn the doctrine of God, our Savior in all things.

You know what I love is that, you know, everything that God gives that are the best gifts, they're all free.

You don't have to have a great income, you don't have to have a big position, you can have the fullness of joy from the presence of God.

You don't even have to have health to experience the presence of God and the joy.

It says that the greatest joy you're ever going to experience is in the presence of God.

Anyone can have that.

A slave or a or the richest man in Crete can have the fullness of joy.

Also, this is talking about someone who is employed under another person and the the fact that their lives can make a difference by just how they live, by being well-pleasing in all things, not answering back, not pilfering, but showing all good fidelity, that they may ordain or adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things.

Isn't that powerful that what we do at our workplaces where we volunteer, and some of us are work have our workplaces in our own homes, we can make a difference.

We can be those shining lights that are showing again to the world that God is with us.

And in 1 Corinthians it says that those who are filled with by the Spirit will not act as mere men.

They will be different, they will shine.

They will shine.

And so I just want to end real quickly with a few things.

Um I did some research on what is it like to be a 21st century man.

Pew research in USA Today said 52% of men feel like they have to live according to women's rules.

Yeah.

Society, um, they they also felt like society has turned them into waxed, coiffed, metrosexuals.

Men said that they felt handcuffed by political correctness.

33% said they felt free to say what they they wanted.

Two-thirds of men said they found it safer to conceal their opinions.

Men overall feel embarrassed by the word manliness these days.

That's pretty sad.

63% of women conclude that men are struggling.

So we have a culture that is very difficult for men.

You can I I saw a commercial about um this lady who obviously ran a company because she had this thing she was selling.

It was a commercial though, and she had all these men working for her, and she was top dog.

She was and she was like, man, I'm just, you know, she just was like amazing.

That's what the commercial is trying to say.

And then these men were like working for it behind the computers.

It's like, ugh, you know.

Um I had something happen to me today that um that as I was writing this message, um, my husband came up and said a few words, and I snapped at him because I wanted to self-protect.

He he touched something that was like, so I was like, you know, and um I was like, wow, that's really interesting.

I'm typing up exactly what I'm doing.

Uh and you know, um, self, again, it's self.

You know, anytime we have confusion or evil things, check yourself.

Do you know?

I just want to give you this one.

Well, actually, I'm gonna go to one other passage before we end here, but look at um James 3, 16.

Um it says, um, for where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.

When we feel confusion, when we feel yucky stuff, check yourself.

What am I doing?

What what what why do I feel that need to like today?

It was self-protect.

Um, other times it could be self-promote, other times it can be self-condemn.

It's gonna cause confusion.

That's why we need to help our young men get control of ourselves, get control of themselves, and we need to learn how to do it ourselves.

And so um I want to talk to you more about that next week when we talk about the grace of God.

But I want to look at this.

Um, young men, as we turn there, go to Ecclesiastes 11, 9 through 12.

I'm sorry, 11 verse 9, and then we're gonna go to chapter 12, verse 1.

Um, while we're running over there, I want to say that men, young men today are um are experiencing a lot of difficulties.

There's pornography, there's um uh there are homes that don't encourage discipline, so there's a lot of laziness, there's a lot of trivial things, um uh video games, um, uh social media, um, uh reality shows, a lot of things that are very trivial.

And we have to be careful, we have to help our young men become these kind of men that have sober-minded, that are ready to do good things.

You know, it they all that goes together, sober-minded, good things.

I just want to say, um, I'm gonna read this uh part of scripture.

It's very important, and it's a good way to end.

This is um uh Solomon writing in Ecclesiastes.

Um, what's amazing about this book is Proverbs is before, written before Solomon fell into a lot of adultery and idolatry, and Ecclesiastes is after.

So this is a man who's been through a lot and he's seen the great.

Amazing things of God, and he's seen his own sin in very big ways, and I can't find the book.

Okay, there I go.

Ecclesiastes.

And this is what he recommends to young men.

And remember, he fell.

He fell into adultery and idolatry and messed up big time.

This is what he says.

He says, Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth.

Walk in the ways of your heart and in the sight of your eyes.

Kind of like, go for it, just go for it.

And then he says, But know that for all these things God will bring you into judgment.

Therefore remove sorrow from your heart, put away evil from your flesh, for childhood and youth are vanity.

And then he says, Here's what we need to do.

Remember now your creator in the days of your youth, before the difficult days come and the years draw near when you say, I have no pleasure in them.

That's coming for our young men.

We have to prepare them.

We need to prepare them to experience God and remind them of who He is.

Don't let your young men be in your homes and not hear about their creator.

We can't make them into 50-year-olds right away.

I wish so.

But they're gonna be, they're gonna mess up, they're gonna do stuff that you go, oh.

Yeah.

But we have to always draw them back to the Creator.

Thank you.

And let me just pray for us.

God, I just ask you that you would help us women to love and to exhort the young men in our lives that they can be these healthy individuals that can be future leaders in our churches, God.

Lord, help us to be good stewards of these young men that you've put into our lives in various places.

And Lord, we just pray that you would help us to be that orthopedic person for the places you put us.

In Jesus' name.

Amen.