Leverage Point #2 - Heart-to-Heart Connection: Philippians 1:3-8 - Philippians: Joy Leverage

You're listening to the road with Pastor Teacher Steve Holt.

Rule of life.

Ingratitude guaranteed unhappiness.

There is not an ungrateful, happy person on the face of the earth.

Because ungrateful people usually have a victim mentality.

I'm a victim of this, I'm a victim of that, and it makes us unhappy, and it makes us ungrateful.

Everybody in here is a victim of something.

Everything doesn't go perfectly for everybody.

But ungrateful people are unhappy people, we have a word called spoiled.

At The Road, our vision is to raise up wholehearted disciples of Jesus Christ.

For more information on the road, visit theroad.org.

We hope you are encouraged by today's message from Pastor Teacher Steve Holt.

Well, many women, we're talking about joy.

We've been talking about joy.

We're in the book of Philippians and had an interesting situation.

I don't know how many of you follow the web.com golf tour, but there was a situation this week, and I'm not even sure I'm saying his name right, Rain or Ryan Gibson, and his caddy, Brandon Davis.

Brandon Davis made a mistake.

It seemed as though there was a penalty being put on Ryan Gibson because of what happened.

And so Ryan got so upset right there on TV, he took the cover off one of the heads of his golf cups, threw it at his caddy, and fired him.

And um, and everybody saw it on TV.

And then it turned out that actually with the caddy, the mistake he made was not a penalty.

And so then on the web were all these apologies going back and forth.

And you know, sometimes you find yourself in situations like that where you just, you know, kind of make an idiot of yourself.

And um, everybody's done it.

I'll tell you a story about me.

Oh, this is really bad.

I don't think I've ever told this publicly.

But uh I used to be in a movement called the Vineyard, the Vineyard Movement.

And when I first planted Mountain Springs Church here in town, um it was called Mountain Springs Vineyard.

So it was a vineyard.

But the but what was happening in the vineyard were some things that were really upsetting to me.

I thought theologically they were off.

And I got into um a situation where there was this thing called the pastor chat room.

Okay and I forgot, because chat chat room, I mean this was probably within a year of the whole chat room thing happening.

I would say this is around 2002, right around that time.

And I thought I was in a dialogue with one guy.

Instead, I'm in a dialogue with 300 pastors.

And so I said a bunch of stuff, and then I'm and then the guy who I was, you know, the main guy that we were in dialogue with said, Do you realize that what you just said went out to, you know, the entire movement, the entire organization?

And so then 15 minutes later, the director, the national director for the United States called me, and we had a very animated conversation.

So, what we need in our lives is joy.

And so I've I've put a metaphor up here of what it may appear to you to be a seesaw, but I meant it to be a fulcrum and a lever.

And you'll notice joy in Christ being the fulcrum, and the lever being the power of God in our life.

And then I put some bricks over here that represent pressures in our life, pressures of depression, loneliness, fear, might be PTSD.

And here's the thesis of this whole study of Philippians, you guys, is that the closer we move, the joy of Christ toward our problems, not running from our problems, but facing our problems, as you know, with a lever and a fulcrum, the easier it is to lift, the closer the fulcrum is to the weight.

To the point where if we were to wheel this so close that it's almost at the first brick, I could push down on this with my pinky finger and be able to lift it.

But I could probably barely do it now, but by moving the fulcrum, the joy of Christ into our issues, into our marriage, into our relationships, then the power of God lifts it.

It gives us perspective, it gives us joy in the Lord.

So if you have your Bibles, turn to Philippians chapter 1, and we're gonna proceed through.

Philippians 1 · chapter mention

I'm gonna begin right at the beginning again, like I did last week.

Philippians is in the New Testament, before Colossians, after Ephesians.

Paul and Timothy, bond servants of Jesus Christ to all the saints in Christ Jesus who are in Philippi with all the bishops and deacons.

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

You notice in those first two verses, Jesus Christ mentioned three times.

And so last week we talked about that the leverage point, the fulcrum point number one in our lives, if we want to walk in joy, is a love relationship, a heart-to-heart, intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.

And you can listen to that online if you missed it.

Verse 3.

I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine, making mention of you with joy for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now.

Being confident of this very thing that he who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.

Just as it is right for me to think this of you all, because I have you in my heart.

Inasmuch as both in my chains, and remember we talked about Paul is in prison, and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel, you all are partakers with me of grace.

Verse 8 For God is my witness how greatly I long for you with the affection of Jesus Christ.

Here's leverage number two.

So leverage number one is a love relationship with Jesus Christ.

If you don't know Jesus Christ, you can't have a love relationship with Jesus Christ.

So first of all, give your heart to Christ.

But then, secondly, what he's saying here is heart-to-heart relationships.

Men and women, you've got to have heart-to-heart relationships.

Not just relationships, but intimate relationships, heart-to-heart relationships.

We were made for connection.

God hardwired every one of you in this room for connection with people.

For relationships with people.

When you have relationships with people, there is a security and a significance and the potential for joy in your life like nothing else.

Connection is what we were made for.

Connection is what our body longs for.

Every study that's been done, neuroscience, psychology, sociology, and theology, and I'd even say ecclesiology, which is a study of the church, says we need connection.

And what we see here with Paul is he's crying out, he's saying, Look, I love you.

We are in fellowship in the gospel together.

We've been hanging out together.

I've been in your homes, and we're going to look at the passage in Acts 16 in just a moment to see how that worked in Philippi.

He says, I loved you with the affection of Jesus Christ.

It's a heart-to-heart connection.

You need relationships in your life.

So here's what I wanted to do this morning is talking about just at the very beginning, three major areas that I think cause us not to connect with people, that break our connection with people.

Three things.

That's what I'm most familiar with.

When I lived in Japan for so many years, it would definitely be different.

But here in America, I say these are the three things.

And here's the first one.

The first one is loneliness.

Loneliness.

The neuroscience researcher John Kakyopo of the University of Chicago has been studying loneliness for the past 20 years.

He defines loneliness as perceived social isolation.

We feel lonely when we experience disconnection.

At the heart of loneliness is a lack of heart-to-heart connection with people.

Now here's what he's saying.

And let me quote what he says.

I'm not talking about having people in your life that you have a relationship with, but rather lack of intimacy.

Deep, trusting relationships that are heart to heart.

Dr.

Chiapopo's research shows that we don't derive strength from rugged individualism, but rather from collective ability to plan, communicate, and work together.

He says our neural, hormonal, and genetic makeup support interdependence over independence.

He explained, and this is really important.

To grow into adulthood as humans is not to become autonomous and solitary, is to become the one on whom others can actually depend.

Wow.

That's huge.

Whether we know it or not, our brain and biology have been shaped in favor of this outcome.

In other words, men and women, you are wired for connection with people and actually maturity as a human being, and he would even say, you haven't even reached adulthood in your human growth, if you're not someone that other people can depend on.

That your neural, hormonal, genetic makeup is that God has made us to grow not into being autonomous, but interdependence with others in community.

And he's going to use a word here.

We're going to look at just a second called cononia, which means heart-to-heart relationship.

First of all, the first struggle we have is isolation and loneliness.

Number two is fear.

Fear is such a big issue in our society.

We fear so many things.

I would say we fear vulnerability, which leads from the first.

In other words, if we're living autonomous lives, independent lives, it's usually because we have a fear of being open and honest with others.

And here's what happens, gang is the more you hide your shame and the more you hide your fears, the more demons can have access to building strongholds in your life.

And God wants his life, 2 Corinthians 4.

He wants his light to shine on those wounds in our life.

So I'm a big believer in counseling.

I'm a big believer in having blood-stained allies in your life, men and women that you can be honest with, that you've built a trustworthy relationship with.

Now let me just say this: that's if you want to grow.

That's if you want to grow.

A lot of people don't want to grow.

I mean, I'm convinced I've been in ministry for 37 years, and I'm convinced a lot of people don't even want to grow.

They don't want to grow in their faith.

They don't want to grow stronger in their knowledge of the word.

They don't want to walk in obedience.

They don't want to have a really joyful, powerful, supernatural marriage.

They just want to be normal and watch football.

I think you know it's gender I'm talking about.

I don't know many women that want to watch football.

So if you want a normal life, just do it.

I mean, by the way, you're at the wrong church.

Because I'm going to be in your face every Sunday, okay?

Because here's the deal: I don't want to live that way.

I want to grow, I want to mature, I want to be stronger, I want to be deeper, I want to be more joyful next year than this year and this year than last year.

How about you?

Because that's what it's all about, isn't it?

It's about becoming more and more Christ-like.

But we have these fears.

And let's acknowledge it.

If some of you in this room have major fears, welcome to the party.

Man, we're we're full of fearful people in this church.

We we acknowledge it around here.

I remember one time a guy came up to me and says, Man, I'm really messed up.

I said, I got PTSD.

I did all these tours in Afghanistan, and I've been married like a half a dozen times, and man, and I said, dude, you have come to the right church.

If you don't have some PTSD and a little bit whacked out on a few things and acknowledge your fear, then now you don't fit in very well around here.

Because here's the deal, folks, none of us have got it all together.

Let's just be real about this.

But let's also grow together.

Come on, let's grow together.

So, first, I think we struggle with loneliness.

Second, we struggle with fear.

And then I think third, and this is this might surprise you in America.

In America.

And this is the word I'm gonna use scarcity.

Scarcity mentality.

Here's what a scarcity mentality is is never having enough.

I mean, I don't know how many times Liz and I say, Did you get enough sleep last night?

Enough sleep.

That's how we start our day.

Did we get enough sleep?

Everything's enough.

We don't have enough sleep.

Our kids aren't smart enough.

I'm not smart enough.

Grades aren't good enough.

I don't get a high enough salary.

Here's a good one.

Your kids' rooms are never clean enough.

Amen, brother.

Amen.

Amen.

Let the glory come.

Okay.

Enough, enough, never enough.

And then here's the bottom line is that you're not enough.

Is that you feel like you're not enough?

And it becomes a scarcity mentality, and that scarcity mentality works against joy in our lives.

It works against heart-to-heart connection.

So let's look at what Paul gives us in Philippians.

He gives us several powerful, supernatural, Holy Spirit-driven words that I think speak to fear, isolation, and scarcity.

First of all, he says, number in verse 3, I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine, making requests for you all with joy.

Here's what he's saying.

He's saying, first of all, you guys, he's saying, be thankful.

Be grateful.

Be thankful for what you have.

Be grateful.

Remember, he's in prison.

He's in prison.

He's awaiting death in a Roman prison.

And Roman prisons, by the way, are not like American prisons.

Okay?

They don't have flat screen TVs and weight rooms.

He is in, you know, the worst of the worst in a Roman prison.

And he's so thankful.

He's so thankful.

There's something about being thankful that's powerful.

Learning to be thankful.

I used to be a big believer in having an attitude of gratitude.

Everybody ever heard that attitude of gratitude?

I'm not anymore.

I'm not into an attitude of gratitude.

You know why?

Because an attitude of gratitude doesn't mean that you've changed anything.

It just means you've got some kind of an attitude of gratitude.

What I'm into is the practice of gratitude.

We need to practice it.

We need to say it.

We need to tell our kids how thankful we are for them.

We need to tell our spouse how thankful we are for them.

Tell them why we're thankful to them.

Maybe keep it in your journal, thankful.

Three things.

One study showed a tremendous difference in the lives of people that just write down once a week.

Three things they're thankful for for that week.

Just three things that you're thankful for that week.

Putting it in a journal.

It made a huge difference.

It changed their life.

They did a study where they took people and they told them to have a journal and they asked them to write down anything, anything they wanted to write in their journal.

No directives.

And the other group, they told them to write down three things, three things that they're thankful for.

And the difference was 75% difference in outcome within their life of happiness and joy.

Paul's figured it out 2,000 years ago, what neuroscience is just starting to figure out.

That we have to be thankful, but we have to practice being thankful.

Let me tell you something.

Let me tell you something.

Rule of life.

Here's a rule of life.

Jot this one down.

In gratitude guarantees unhappiness.

Let me just say that again.

In gratitude guarantees unhappiness.

There is not an ungrateful, happy person on the face of the earth.

Because ungrateful people usually have a victim mentality.

I'm a victim of this, I'm a victim of that, and it makes us unhappy, and it makes us ungrateful, and it doesn't mean every by the way, everybody in here is a victim of something.

Everything doesn't go perfectly for everybody.

But ungrateful people or unhappy people, we have a word called spoiled.

Spoiled.

And it's so interesting, isn't it, how you see some of the among the wealthy, among the richest people, how many of their kids are just so ungrateful because they have an entitlement mentality and their lives are just falling apart.

And then we see so many times, I mean, you hear the stories of men and women who had nothing, had literally nothing growing up.

But something was bred into their hearts, either through God or through their mom and dad, that they were going to make something of their life.

And there became a sense of gratitude, at least enough gratitude to keep trying and to keep pushing and to keep pressing.

And those people are experiencing that happiness and joy today because they weren't entitled to anything.

They didn't expect to be entitled to anything and they gave their heart to something.

So first of all, Paul says, be grateful.

Verse 5.

For your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now.

So if you have your Bibles, if you're looking anybody, look at Acts 16.

Acts 16 tells the story of this fellowship in the gospel.

This word is Kononia in the Greek.

And it has the idea of heart-to-heart relationships.

That's what he means.

And look at Acts 16.

So just turn to the left until you come to the book of Acts.

Starting at verse 13, it tells the story of what happened in Philippi and how the church was established.

And on the Sabbath day, we, that means Paul and Silas, Timothy, we went out to the city to the riverside where prayer was customarily made, and we sat down and spoke to the women who met there.

Now a certain woman named Lydia heard us.

She was a cellar of purple from the city of Thyatira who worshiped God.

The Lord opened her heart to heed the things spoken by Paul.

And when she and her household were baptized, she begged us, saying, If you have judged me to be faithful to the Lord, come to my house and stay.

So she persuaded us.

Then Paul and Silas began preaching all over town.

And how would you like it?

Everywhere you went, you had a demonized person screaming out, Ah! And I don't know, I think Paul probably cast out a few demons in his life.

He knew the mess it always causes.

Whenever you cast out a demon, it's a mess.

I mean, it's glorious for the person who gets set free.

I've cast out demons so many times in people, and it's glorious to see him get set free, but everybody watching it freaks out.

And so then you got to deal with all the aftermath of what everybody thought about.

Well, can, you know, how did that happen?

And what did you say?

And what about the name?

So I think Paul had had that happen.

He didn't want to do it.

He's just like, would you get out of my face?

And this girl just keeps following.

If you read the verses there, finally he just says, I'm sick of it.

So he casts her demon out.

But when he casts the demon out, she's a fortune teller.

So she's got a prophetic kind of gift so she can predict the future.

She's a fortune teller, and she's got these handlers who make money off her.

Telling the fortune of people and telling the future of people, and in so doing, they've now lost their income because the demons were the ones doing it through her.

So now Paul and Silas get thrown into prison.

So now they're in prison.

So move down to verse 25.

But at midnight, Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them.

Suddenly there was a great earthquake.

So that the foundation of the prison was shaken.

Immediately all the doors were opened, and everyone's chains were loosed.

And the keeper of the prison, awaking from sleep and seeing the prison doors open, supposing the prisoners had fled, drew his sword and was about to kill himself.

But Paul called with a loud voice, saying, Do yourself no harm, for we are all here.

Then he called for a light, ran in, fell down trembling before Paul and Silas, and he brought them out and said, Sirs, what must they do to be saved?

That's a pretty good sign and a wonder, wouldn't you say?

Little earthquake action.

All your chains come off.

You know, kind of casual thing.

Big earthquake.

Earthquakes don't happen in this part of the world like that.

Boom, earthquake.

Chains come off.

All this guy's thinking about is, man, if the prisoners escape, I'm dead meat.

So he comes running in.

Verse 31.

So they said, believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you'll be saved, you and your household.

By the way, that's the gospel right there.

So if anybody wants to add to it, they can.

But if you want the biblical, true gospel, it's right here, just believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you shall be saved.

Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and all who were in his house.

Verse 33.

And he took them that same hour of the night and washed their stripes, and immediately he and all his family were baptized.

Now, when he had brought them into his house, he set food before them, he rejoiced, having believed in God with all of his household.

Now that's the kind of stuff that's been happening in Philippi.

Cornyah.

I mean, these Philippians are interesting.

They're always inviting you into their home.

Lydia invites him into the home, a jailer who just got saved, invites them into their home.

That's the kind of fellowship of the gospel that Paul's talking about here.

And some of you went to Houston after Hurricane Harvey.

And you are a part of that, and you guys are tight.

You guys are tight because of that.

Many of you in this room started the church, the road, four years ago.

And we were in it together, weren't we?

Just a little group of us praying every night for 40 nights.

There's a fellowship in the gospel that comes through that.

And then some of you have been down and done our Springs Initiative down on the southern end of town.

And we've gone and I think we've done like six or seven houses all together now.

And we've and we've gone into these houses and they're a total mess.

And we get to go in and repaint them and redo the backyards and fix them up and make them beautiful.

And we did it together, and we sweated together, and we had injuries together, and we got beastings together.

Fellowship of the gospel.

And then some of our church gone down to Mexico.

We're getting ready to go to Guatemala in June.

We're gonna have a camp for kids in June.

Do it with us.

Fellowship of the gospel.

Something about being in the battle together builds within us a fellowship and a heart-to-heart relationship with others.

Being confident of this very thing, verse 6, that he, this is my favorite verse here, he who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.

So, church, listen up.

The only way to break the scarcity mentality of not enough is an abundance mentality that God's in control.

Let me say that again.

The only way to break a scarcity mentality that you're not enough or that your life is not enough is an abundance mindset that God is enough and that God is sovereign over your affairs.

He's gonna work things out.

Here's Paul with his situation, all that he's going under.

He says, I'm confident.

There is a confidence within him.

Joy comes when we have a confidence that God's in control.

You're gonna fail test.

You're gonna lose jobs.

You will get fired.

You will go through sickness and illness.

And so as we get closer, that fulcrum to the joy that we have through heart-to-heart connection with other people that we trust and a personal, vital, dynamic, growing relationship with Jesus Christ, confidence comes.

It's really cool.

The confidence.

God's working this out.

A lot of us don't have that yet.

You can get it.

Keep coming.

Keep being under the word, keep being in fellowship with other Bible-believing, spirit-filled, supernatural believing people.

They get on you because you leak.

You leak, and you need to get refilled.

And so you get refilled a lot of times by other people.

Here's what the enemy wants us to do is to isolate ourselves when things get tough.

That's really what most believers in the church do, is they get isolated when things get tough, when they should be pressing in when things get tough, because that's how we get strengthened.

That's what Paul's saying.

Couldn't get much tougher than what Paul's going through, and he's pressing in and he's reminding them, man, I love you guys.

I love you guys.

I've been in your homes, I've been in Lydia's home, I've been in the jailer's home, in this whole household.

I love you guys.

And just as it is right for me to think this of you all, because I have you in my heart, inasmuch as both in my chains and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel, you all are partakers with me of grace.

For God is my witness how greatly I long for you with the affection of Jesus Christ.

Interesting, this word affection.

Affection means, okay, it may sound gross, but affection here means bowels.

He's saying that from the very innermost part of my being, I have this affection of Jesus Christ for you.

I love you guys.

I have you in my heart.

Men and women, we can't have that kind of affection toward others without heart-to-heart relationships.

Liz and I sometimes have to take about a two-week reprieve.

We say, nobody's coming over.

Nobody's coming over for two weeks.

Because it is like Grand Central Station at the whole household sometimes.

I mean, the cars are lined up.

You think I'm kidding?

We had 30 last night.

Okay, so we love it.

Wouldn't have it any other way.

Because we love heart-to-heart relationships.

You need heart-to-heart relationships.

This has nothing to do with being an extrovert or introvert.

This has to do with joy and happiness.

If you want joy, guess what?

God wired you for connection with people.

I don't like people.

People make me mad.

Yeah, they do.

They'll disappoint you, they'll stab you in the back.

You thought you could trust them, and then you find out you can't.

There's something about the supernatural power of God when we give to him everything in our life and say, Lord, I'm going to love you with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength.

And then the second commandment is just like the first.

It says, love your neighbor as yourself.

And so there's something, here's the thing.

If you don't risk, you miss out.

I don't know how to say it any better than that.

If you don't take risk in relationships, even knowing that you're going to get hurt, there's something of a work of God within our life that we miss out on.

So I charge you, as your friend and your pastor, take the risk.

It's worth it.

It's worth it.

It breaks, it's the only thing that breaks loneliness, it's the only thing that breaks fear, and it's the only thing that breaks scarcity.

That's what Paul's saying.

You've been listening to The Road with Pastor Teacher Steve Holt.

We hope you have been blessed by today's message.

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