"Wisdom's Speech (Part 2)" Proverbs 18 Sunday Evening Worship Service

It is true that a person's speech is often the measure of a man.

With your friends, like your close circle of friends, you know their conduct.

You know how they are with their families, you know how they are with their kids and their wives, you know how they are at work and all that.

So you have a broader spectrum on which to evaluate a person when you're friends with them.

You can see their whole life and you know what their home is like and all of that.

But that's not most people in your life.

Most people in your life you don't have that access to.

Most people in your life, you are only knowing them through their speech.

You know about their conduct because they tell you their conduct.

You know about their family and their marriage and their parenting, all that because they tell you it, but you don't necessarily observe that for yourself.

Again, that's not true with your friends.

Your friends, you see through all that, and you know, you know the real them, so to speak.

But with most people in your life, you're left to assess them and interact with them on the basis of their speech, which is very difficult.

There's almost this presumption of truth with people or what they say you're assuming is true and is real about them, and so you engage with them on that level, but you know, through your knowledge of them and spending time with them, you start to see a divergence between what they're saying and what you're beginning to encounter.

Sometimes that's just normal.

We can normally account for that.

You know, you you just understand when somebody tells you a story about something at work or at home, they always tell it in a way that makes them out to be like the smart person in this in the story, of course, because everybody does what's right in their own eyes.

Everybody's always, you know, explaining how they were thinking at the time in a way that makes them out to be to be right.

I mean, that's just the way human beings are, and you understand that.

And so some of that is expected, and we develop pretty good filters with understanding those kind of dynamics.

Not that it excuses it, but we understand that.

But then you start to get to know a person even better, and you start to see more than that normal delta.

You start to find factual inconsistencies and places where their life goes a different way, or some people they talk negative about, and you get to know those people, and it doesn't match what you heard about from the other person, and it just creates conflict and weirdness in life.

That's what's meant by the book of Proverbs, chapter 18, which has several Proverbs about speech.

Proverbs 18 · chapter mention

We want to look at them tonight.

First one whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire.

People isolate themselves from friends so they can put themselves forward.

Again, if friends know you and they know you the real you, they know what's actually going on in your life.

It's difficult for you to put yourself forward very far because there's people who know you that are around you.

But when you isolate yourself, it allows you to seek your own advancement, your own sinful desires, even.

You don't have people to confront you anymore.

He breaks out against all sound judgment.

You isolate yourself if you don't have friends around you, you make it easier for you to sin, it makes it easier for you to do foolish things.

You buy a, uh you make a foolish investment, you buy something foolish because you didn't tell anybody, and you kind of knew that if you told one of your friends you were thinking about buying this, they would say no.

And so you really wanted to buy it, so you don't tell anybody, and that way it's it's too late.

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only expressing his own opinion.

We looked at this before, verse 2, that uh a fool lacks self-control in their speech.

We looked at this back when we were studying chapter 12.

We jumped up to this proverb that fools just run their mouth.

They're not actually asking questions, they're not actually trying to learn.

They're the kind of person in the conversation with an expert and just sharing all that they know about the thing without even recognizing the person next to them is the actual expert.

They just run their mouths.

And so wickedness grows in their hearts.

Contempt comes also, and then dishonor and disgrace.

When you have a friend who's like that, who's running his mouth, who is just, you recognize what he says is not the real him.

He's always expressing his own opinion, he's not learning, you stop being friends to that person.

And more than that, it becomes disgraceful for that person.

The person is marked as a person of disgrace.

And they wonder, why don't I have friends?

And it's because, bro, you're not closing your mouth.

And then when you do open your mouth, people get to know a little bit about you, and they're like, Yeah, no thanks.

Ultimately, it goes from dishonor to disgrace.

It shames your wife or your husband.

That's because it's just tough to assess a person like that.

Verse 4, the word, and this is a critical verse in Proverbs 1, the words of a man's mouth are deep waters.

The fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook.

Now, this is a somewhat mysterious proverb for us because we we're not in the exploring phase with water right now.

So the words of a man's mouth are like deep waters.

And that almost has a positive connotation, doesn't it?

Like, oh, the speech is, it's like it's so profound, it's like the deep pond.

But when you look at the parallel here, the the contrast in the second half of the verse, the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook.

So wisdom is, of course, positive and it's bubbling.

And the guy who is just doesn't have integrity in his speech, his speech is like a still pond.

So what does that mean?

Well, a still pond, the kind where you see the trees and the clouds and the sun and the sky and all that, and the reflection of it, you can't tell what's under the water.

You can't see it.

There could be a shark under there, and you'd have no idea.

There could be an alligator under there.

If you're from Florida, there could be an alligator under there, you wouldn't know.

Alligators love to hide in that kind of water because you can't see to the top of the water.

The water is perfectly still.

You have no idea what danger looks there.

You don't know if you can walk across the water.

If you have to swim, you have no idea.

When my family went to New Zealand recently, watched a video at a nature center there about exploring these glacial lakes, and there was a video that we saw about the danger of going into the water of these glacial lakes.

You know, the glaciers are melting and that forms these lakes, and you have no idea how deep they are, because the water, the freezing and the thawing and the freezing and thawing is eroding away the rocks.

And there's a video of a guy who has this 30-foot uh rope with a weight on it that he lets under, and it's this little tiny, you know, little lake like this.

It's just in a little crevice.

You could lake is not even the right word.

You can hop across it.

And he lets down the rope, and it just goes and goes and goes until there's no more rope left.

And you would think you could step in it if you were crossing.

Well, you step in that, you'd be dead.

See you later.

This is what a person's speech is like.

You can't assess what is really there.

You don't know if there's truth under the surface, deceit under the surface.

You have no idea.

It's just their speech.

You can't see through it.

In contrast, wisdom is a bubbling brook.

And when the water is moving, when it's turning over, you can assess it.

You know what's there.

You can see through it.

That's the idea.

Wisdom is transparent.

Speech is not.

Speech is not.

This is why the Bible says, let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth.

You want only wholesome speech coming out of your mouth, such as good for building people up, as fits the occasion.

That it might give grace to those who are here who are here.

That's Ephesians 4.29.

No corrupting talk out of your mouth.

No corrupting talk means, listen.

No corrupting talk means no sarcasm.

Sarcasm is corrupting talk.

No gossip.

No critical speech.

No harsh words.

Those are eliminated by Ephesians 4.29.

Verse 5, you see people who are deceitful with their speech.

They show partiality to the wicked.

Meanwhile, verse 6, a fool's lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating.

That's kind of a funny verse.

A fool's lips heap trouble on himself.

You see the guy and he gets punched in the face, and you've heard him talk for a while, and you're like, I understand why you got punched in the face.

Not that it excuses.

Solomon is not saying punch a fool in the face.

He's just saying if you see a fool get punched in the face, don't have too much sympathy for him.

You know, he kind of had it coming.

A fool's lips walk into the fight.

His mouth is just, he just thinks he's talking about politics or whatever, but really he's saying, please punch me.

This is why verse 7 is true.

A fool's mouth is his ruin.

His lips are a snare to his soul.

His mouth will ruin him.

His lips are the snare to his soul.

A snare is a word for a trap.

It's what you catch an animal in.

They step in the, you know, return to the Jedi ewok style, they step in the thing and up they go.

That's what a snare is.

A fool's mouth destroys him, ensnares his soul.

There's lots of different ways a fool's mouth does that.

I'll give you five of them.

Tonight, this is kind of wrap up our study on speech in Proverbs, because we looked at the speech a few times now, back in chapter 12, chapter 17.

So this will be the end of it.

We'll corral all the things on speech from the rest of Proverbs and wedge him in here tonight.

And I've divided it into five categories of destructive speech lying, gossip, slander, flattery, and vows.

And I think they're all spelled correctly tonight.

Lying, gossip, slander, flattery, and vows.

If they're not, just humor me.

The first we want to look at is lying.

We don't have to go far to see the first example of this.

He who breathes out lies will not escape.

And if you look at verse 5 and then contrast it with verse 9, it says almost the same thing.

A false witness will not go unpunished.

He who breathes out lies will perish.

The only difference between verse 5 and verse 9 is in verse 5 he's not going to escape.

In verse 9, he's going to die.

So it's almost like Solomon is writing this and corralling these proverbs.

In verse 5, he says, if your lips are running, if you're lying, if you're lying in a court case, if you're bearing witness against somebody, even not a court case, just communication about somebody that is wrong.

You're telling something that's not true about them, you're not going to escape.

And to be super clear in verse 9, you're going to die.

Not only will your lie trap you, it will also kill you.

Because your lies will be exposed.

You can't keep all your lies spinning forever.

Eventually they conflict with each other.

Eventually, you're going to be exposed.

When this happens in a court case, when this happens in a matter of seriousness, it's going to come back on your head.

People begin to make decisions about others based upon things you say.

When those things you say turn out not to be true, it circles back around to you.

You're going to be caught in your own words.

Proverbs 21, verse 6.

Proverbs 21:6

The getting of treasures by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor and a snare of death.

We looked at this also back when we studied chapter 12 under the heading of coveting.

But here it's about truth as well.

Because you know, the two go together.

You covet something that's not yours, and so you lie in order to attain it.

You want something, and you feel like it's attainable if only you could alter this much of the truth.

And so you alter the truth in order to attain it.

But you don't really attain it.

It's a fleeting vapor.

First of all, you understand that once you grab it, it's not what you're after.

It's ephemeral, it's a soap bubble, it's just fleeting.

You grab it and it is gone.

But beyond that, now you're you're left with the residue on your hands.

Obviously, you lied to get it.

Obviously, it wasn't what you were truly after.

Because God has what is best for you in mind.

God has something true and he has a plan and a purpose for you.

When you covet things outside of what God has provided, you're going outside of his will to get it.

When you get it, you realize it's not actually good or profitable for you.

You regret your deceit to get it, and now you're left not just with the folly that you pursued, but with the evidence of it.

And so it is a fleeting vapor.

It is a snare of death.

You pursue treasure, when you get it, you realize it wasn't worth it.

And this is true of all sin, isn't it?

You've never sinned in your whole life, and then afterwards is like, well, that was worth it.

You might think that for a day or a moment or a season, but eventually conviction sets in.

Eventually you realize that you were the fool.

That you were the fool.

That's Proverbs 21, verse 6.

Proverbs 21:6

Proverbs 25, 18.

A man who bears false witness against his neighbor is like a war club or sword or a sharp arrow.

Again, it's fero, it's it's fierce.

It has a ferociousness to it.

It's hostile.

It's violent.

It's just words, but they're violent words against somebody.

You're attacking somebody.

It's a sword or a sharp arrow.

The person who lies is an arsonist.

They're burning things down.

Ultimately, they're burning their own house down.

And it's it's a war club, a sword or a sharp arrow, but ultimately it's a boomerang.

It's gonna come back on their head, and that's what Proverbs 26, 27 makes very clear.

Whoever digs a pit is gonna fall into it, and a stone will come back on him who starts it rolling.

That's what lying is like.

When you tell a lie, it's like you've got the shovel out there, you just dug a big pit, then you put Indiana Jones style, the big boulder right there, and you're pushing it away from the pit, but as soon as you turn around, it rolls back on you.

It's either gonna crush you or it's gonna knock you into the pit that you yourself dug.

That's the way that lies work.

Lies are verbal pits, they will trap you.

Bottom line, lying is saying things that aren't true.

Saying something that's not true is lying.

It will be exposed.

God knows the truth.

Remember, the whole theme of Proverbs is that wisdom is living in the world the way God designed the world.

Living wisely is understanding the way the river is going and swimming with the river.

The fool swims upstream, the wise person knows how to navigate the world that they're in.

And of course, the fountain of the river is God, so there is a religious dynamic to this.

That's why the fear of the Lord is the foundation of wisdom.

But even a fool can figure out how to navigate a river.

When he does, he figures out, you know, which way the water is flowing and goes with it.

This is the nature of truth.

A wise person sees what is true and his life corresponds to truth.

The fool sees what is true and doesn't like it and goes against it.

When he goes against it, it's not ultimately going to be accessible.

Eventually he will drown in the rip current.

That's the point of lying.

You're being a fool by lying because you're trying to act contrary to wisdom.

Lying is one of the most basic examples of foolishness because wisdom is going with the world, not in like the ethical sense, like the world's ethics, but going with the world, the way God designed the world, the way God is sovereign over the world, what God appointed the world.

That's wisdom.

And lying is just going right against it.

That's the first category of destructive speech lying.

Second category of destructive speech, gossip.

Gossip.

Gossip is spreading unfavorable information about someone else.

And here's the catchphrase that you might not like.

Even if that information is true.

We try to wiggle our way out of gossip or excuse gossip by saying it's not gossip if it's true.

Well, yes, it is.

Yes, it is gossip, even if it's true.

Gossip is spreading unfavorable information about someone.

People gossip because it makes them feel self-righteous.

If you're still open in Proverbs 18, look at verse 8.

The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels.

They go down into the inner parts of the body.

They taste so good to hear something about someone that's negative about them because then you know.

Then you know.

And you know what the number one justification for gossip is in the church?

There's not even a second place in this contest.

The number one justification for gossip in the church, I'm sure you're all thinking it right now, is I'm just telling you about this so you can pray for it.

Like you need to know what a slacker villain Jesse is.

You've got to know that way you can pray for him to be a better pastor.

Please bring him before the Lord.

It's so important that everybody knows.

I was gonna use a different name in there, but then I would be doing my own sins.

So it's important for you to know that, you know, what a bad wife this person is over here.

That way you can pray for pray for her husband, and how hard it's gotta be to be in that family.

Oh, pray, pray for them.

That's gossip.

Even if it's preceded by pray for them.

And why do people do it?

Oh, because it tastes so good.

It tastes so good.

It's the same reason I eat Skittles.

I know they're bad for me, but they taste so good.

Even the green ones now.

That's gossip.

Gossip is green Skittles.

And of course they rechange into the apple flavor.

That's true.

It's still gossip.

Of course, what you're saying about the person is true.

It's still sinful and wrong, and it tastes so good.

Gossip is critical speech.

And as we mentioned from Ephesians 4, don't let any critical speech come out of your mouth.

In fact, when gossip is true, that makes it worse.

Not better.

That makes it worse.

And do you know why you shouldn't share prayer requests that are negative about people?

And here's what I want you to think.

This will end people sharing those prayer requests with you if you communicate this to them.

The Bible says in James, modeled by Elijah, that the prayer of a righteous person avails much.

God is not into counting votes.

He's not Pennsylvania, he's not still counting votes.

God answers prayer immediately, not based upon how many people pray it, but based upon the truth of the prayer.

When a prayer corresponds to God's word, it is answered.

So when you say you need to pray for this person because of this reason, because they're doing this bad or that bad, you're saying something negative about them and you're saying, pray for them.

What I'm hearing you say is that I'm not a righteous enough person to have God listen to my prayers.

That's why I'm so concerned about this issue.

I need you to pray for it because God's not listening to me because I'm not living righteously.

That's what I hear with my ears.

When you start thinking like that, you will stop spreading gossip about people under the auspices of a prayer request.

Even though it's tasty.

Even though it makes you feel self-righteous.

Proverbs 25, 23 says it this way.

The north wind brings forth rain, and a backbiting tongue brings angry looks.

Because people see through it.

Even though it's your prayer request, people see through it.

Backbiting is a very good phrase for it.

Backbiting.

I don't know if the phrase originated with Solomon in this verse or if it comes into English to the translation.

I don't know.

But it's a it's a pretty cool phrase.

Biting somebody in the back.

They're not there.

You're walking around.

Have you ever gotten stung by a bee or a wasp in the back?

It's the worst.

Like if it's on your arm, you can at least hit it and you can size up what's happening to you.

What is in your back?

You don't know if you're being attacked by a bald eagle or a little bee.

You have no idea.

You can't see it, it just hurts.

That's the nature of gossip.

It's backbiting.

And it gets you angry looks because everybody sees through it.

You tell the person, oh, pray for so-and-so because of this or that in their life.

And people see through that.

People understand the motive of you saying that is to spread bad information, even if it's true about the other person.

It's biting in the back.

When it gets back to the other person, which it probably will, they're gonna feel like they're shot in the back with an arrow.

The reason it gets you angry looks is because people around you know, if you're shooting at them with arrows, you're probably gonna shoot at me pretty soon.

That's the nature of gossip.

Next category slander.

Slander is almost a subset of gossip.

Gossip is talking about someone in a negative way.

Slander is talking about somebody negatively when it's not true.

It's almost like gossip is when it is true and slander is when it's not true.

Both of them are bad.

But slander is when you say something about something.

Someone else that's not true.

It's a form of lying.

If gossip and lying got married, their child would be slander.

Proverbs 20, verse 19.

Proverbs 20:19

Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets.

Therefore, don't associate with a simple babbler.

Remember, slanders when they're saying something that's not true, but nevertheless, even if it were true, they shouldn't be saying it.

So that really cuts through the I have to figure out what's true.

All I want to know is what's true.

Sometimes so much gossip is under the cover of that as well.

Like I'm just trying to figure out the truth.

I just want, because we worship a God of truth, so I need to know the truth about this person's marriage.

Even if what you are hearing is true, you saying it is revealing secrets.

If God wanted it to be known, he would reveal it.

And you're not the tool of his revelation.

And that's why I love the second part of this verse.

So don't associate with simple babblers.

Remember the word babble, it's kind of onomonopoetic, it's blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Somebody who's gossiping thinks they're revealing these juicy secrets, all your ear should hear is blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Charlie Brown's teacher flapping her lips.

So don't associate with a simple babbler, it's even more insulting to him, too.

They haven't even gone beyond the baby speech.

They're still the baby.

Blah blah blah blah blah.

That's what slander is like.

So again, the logic is here, even if what they're saying is true, which it's not, telling it would be secret sharing.

And people see through it.

You get angry looks because most people understand.

If you talk about this person, if you tell me something, oh, you know, so-and-so is doing this, I think if you're talking about that person that way, it's not going to be long until you're talking about me that way.

And that, I don't have any particular insight in that.

I think everybody understands that.

When somebody gossips to you about someone else, you recognize sooner or later they're going to gossip about me to other people.

And so it just reduces your relationship with that person.

You cut ties and run away while you still can.

That's why, again, Solomon says, don't associate with them.

You're not sinning by cutting ties with them.

Solomon says, don't associate with them.

Somebody's gossiping to you, just cut ties, man.

Move on.

There's a lot of other people for you to be friends with.

So, lying, gossip, slander.

Next, flattery.

Number four, flattery.

Flattery is saying something about somebody else that's positive but not true.

It's just putting them forward.

But that doesn't make it true.

You can turn now.

I want you to turn in your Bibles over to Proverbs 26.

Verse 22.

Flip over there because we got several verses in a row about this.

A little section.

Proverbs 26, verse 22.

Proverbs 26:22

It's a repetition of what we saw earlier.

The words of a whisperer are like delicious mortals, morsels, the green skittles, they go down nice.

They go to the inner parts of the body.

Like the gazelle, I mean like the glaze covering an earthen vessel, our fervent lips with an evil heart.

We've looked at this proverb before, I think last week even, the the glaze, like the pottery shard, that's a cheap pottery.

It's 99 cents store kind of thing.

But you put a fancy glaze in and you're like, ooh, shiny, must be nice.

That's what that's what these lips are behind an evil heart.

Lips can't cover up the wickedness of your heart.

It just is a cheap glaze.

Now, verse 24.

Whoever hates disguises himself with his lips and harbors a seat in his heart.

So you hate another Christian.

This is what you do to that hatred.

You know, I shouldn't hate that person.

So you disguise your hatred by saying good things about him.

You talk about how wise that person is or how good that person is when you don't actually believe that's true.

You're saying good, nice, lovely things about them that aren't true.

And you're doing it to disguise your own hatred of them.

That's flattery.

Flattery is a mixture of lying and gossip, not slander.

But lying and gossip.

Because you're making it so positive.

This is the whole thing.

It's only gossip if it's negative.

I've heard people say it's only gossip if it's negative.

Alright, well, if it's positive, it's flattery.

That's the other category here.

Verse 25 when that person speaks graciously, don't believe him.

For there are seven abominations in his heart.

That's kind of amusing.

The guy hates somebody else, so he says nice things about them, and Solomon says, Don't turn off.

Turn off.

Just shut the computer down and move on.

There are at least seven things that are wrong with his heart.

We don't even get the seven right here.

Solomon's just like, the dude is super evil.

Move on.

Though his hatred, verse 26, be covered with deception, his wickedness will be exposed in the assembly.

So again, here he's speaking graciously, verse 25.

He's saying positive things about the person, but Solomon says it is wicked, it is deceptive.

I mean, some commentators are guessing that you're by the end of this Proverbs, chapter 26, you're more in the royal court part of Proverbs.

Proverbs 26 · chapter mention

Earlier in Proverbs, you're speaking to your kids about how to be wise.

By the end of Proverbs, you're speaking to rulers about how to rule with wisdom.

And so some commentators suggest that what they're talking about here is the king is making decisions and you've got a rival.

You've got a rival.

You want the, let's say you want to be secretary of state, using a modern example.

You want to be secretary of state, or a better example, you want to be attorney general.

And so you push forward somebody who you know is not gonna be good at it.

You're like, oh, choose this person, choose this person.

So when he crashes and burns, you're like, well, I guess I'm next.

That's the idea.

You're saying only good things about the person.

Only good things.

Your wickedness is gonna be exposed before everyone.

Verse 27: whoever digs a pit is going to fall into it.

We looked at that verse earlier.

Your stone's gonna come back on you.

A lying tongue hates its victims, and a flattering mouth works ruins.

That should jar you a little bit because you think, oh, but what I said was positive.

I talked about how good the person is.

I talked about how he's worthy of any opportunity you have.

It'll be exposed.

Now, the ultimate problem with flattery is a heart problem because the ultimate problem with flattery is that it's showing you to be a man pleaser.

You care more about what people think than what God thinks.

That's the heart problem with this.

So you flatter somebody else because you're trying to cultivate a certain response in the people listening because you care more about them than you do about God who knows the truth.

So flattery reveals a neglect of God.

Ultimately, it will crush you.

Proverbs 29, verse 5 says it this way.

Proverbs 29:5

A man who flatters his neighbors spreads a net for his own feet.

How dumb can you be?

Like dumb animals fall into that trap.

Dumb animals get caught in the snare.

Jeremiah says, you cannot spread a net for a bird in front of the bird.

Like even a bird brain is like, oh, that person is laying out a trap.

I don't think I'm going to fall for it.

The bird thinks that.

The flatterer lays out a net, like sets it up all right, and then steps right into it.

That's the flatterer.

It sounds odd, doesn't it?

How can flattery be so destructive?

So appealing.

In Pilgrim's Progress, if you remember, Pilgrim in Hopeful gets stopped by the shepherd who encourages them on their journey, and the shepherd writes him a note.

Do you remember this?

Writes him a note that says, Beware of the flatterer, folds it up and hands it to Pilgrim.

And Pilgrim reads it and puts it in his pocket and forgets about it.

And goes on and finds a guy who is flattering his ears off.

He's like, oh, you and Hopeful, you're so brave and to be on this journey, you're so, oh, not very many people make it this far and blah, blah, blah.

And you know what happens?

They go off the path with the flatterer, and then they get wrapped up in a net.

Sometimes Bunyan like leaves the subtlety behind.

Like, oh, you're so handsome and tall, and net.

Remember the angel or the messenger, I forget who exactly it is, comes and cuts them out of the net and then asks Pilgrim, Did you not see the shepherd this morning?

Pilgrim's like, Yes.

Did he not give you a note?

Oh, yes, I've got it right here.

What does it say?

Beware of the flatterer.

Okay.

And your thoughts on that?

I'm paraphrasing.

But that's basically what the messenger or the angel says.

You your thoughts on that?

And he says, I didn't think that guy was the flatterer.

On the car right over here.

I asked my girls in the car.

This is an illustration about a girl who's not here in Iwana.

I asked, Why do you think people fall for the flattery?

And like, oh, because it sounds good.

And I said, Okay, flattery is saying something that's it's true about you.

And she said, Oh, would you flatter me?

And I said, No, because anything good I would say about you would be true.

And she says, Oh, that's so special.

She fell for it right away.

That's the nature of flattery.

That is, you're like, I wouldn't fall for flattery, and the person tells you, Oh, you are the best at this.

You are way too smart to fall for flattery.

And you're like, I know, right?

Right into the trap.

Net all around you and everything.

She got me back, though.

She said, You are the most handsome daddy ever.

I know she wouldn't flatter me.

That's the nature of flattery.

Proverbs 25, 14.

Like clouds and wind without rain is a man who boasts of a gift who doesn't give.

This is self-flattery.

This is boasting about how good you are when you didn't actually do anything.

Your friends did the good act.

Your friend plowed the neighbor's driveway.

Your friend helped the person in the car crash.

That was your friend, but you make it sound like it was you.

That's self-flattery.

You're boasting of a gift that you didn't give.

It's a form of flattering yourself.

It is pride, it is deceit, it is flattery, all rode into one.

In the New Testament, by the way, this kind of flattery, this self-flattery, is associated with false teachers.

It's not flattering somebody else, it's flattering yourself in church so the people will follow you.

This is Jude chapter Jude verse 12.

These are people who are blemishes in your love feasts, they're feasts without fear, looking after themselves.

They're waterless clouds swept along by the winds, fruitless trees in late autumn, twice dead and uprooted.

Autumn is there, that tree didn't produce a single fig all year long.

Wretched tree.

That cloud, imagine being Elijah after the showdown with Baal, and they say, Oh, the cloud is coming like finally rain, finally rain, and the cloud just goes right by.

That's what self-flattery is like.

This is someone that values what you think of them over what you think of the truth, which is another way of saying they value themselves over God.

And they will ultimately destroy.

So we've seen lying, gossip, slander, flattery.

Number five, vows.

Vows are another form of destructive speech.

And we don't often associate them, but in Proverbs they're associated with destructive speech.

Vows are saying something you wish was true.

That's how vows fit in.

I wish that were true.

I vow I'm gonna lose five pounds this week.

That's a vow.

You're vowing something you wish was true.

Rather than making the vow, why not go to the gym?

It's easier to make the vow.

And it makes you feel self-righteous.

It's just declaring something that is untrue.

Proverbs 20, verse 25.

Proverbs 20:25

It is a snare to say rashly, it is holy.

And reflect only after making vows.

This belongs to God.

I vow that this will be God's.

Later, like, oh, is that a good idea?

That's the following.

That's Jephthah.

Remember, Jephthah said, if I get the victory in the battle, I will sacrifice the first thing that comes out of my door and greets me.

Very odd the way Jephthah says it.

Very confusing because he says the first thing.

He doesn't say the first person.

He's not expecting it to be a person.

And yet he gives enough wiggle room in there with the first thing that comes out and greets me?

Is a cow gonna run up to you and greet you?

What are you expecting to have happen?

It's a very odd vow.

Then he does get the victory and his daughter runs out to greet him.

Do you remember?

It's such a sad story because then he's like, oh, I'm sorry, honey, I made a vow.

I got to sacrifice you to the Lord.

Which is not good to do.

Don't do human sacrifice.

If you make a stupid vow, you know what you should do?

Break your stupid vow.

Don't make a stupid vow.

Don't make a sinful vow.

That'd be like, you know, two kids in the back seat.

If we got get one more red light, I vow I'm gonna punch you.

Oh, we got a red light, I have to punch you now.

Is it dad in the front seat?

Be like, no.

Oh, but I promised I would punch my brother.

Dad, you can't make me break my vow.

I promised I would punch him.

Better not to make a vow.

Don't promise to do things.

Don't make vows to people, just do them.

Vows are silly.

And people make vows in order to impress God and impress each other.

And listen, your vows are not impressive to God.

God has never heard a vow from heaven and goes, oh wow, this time they really mean it.

Angels, pay attention.

They vowed.

The people around you aren't impressed, probably because they've heard you make and break other vows.

They're usually manifestations of pride.

So I Matthew 5, verse 37, let your yes be yes, yet your no be no.

Matthew 5:37

Anything beyond that comes from a heart of evil.

Jesus just gets right to the chase.

Yes, yes, no, no.

Everything else, bad.

Deuteronomy 23.

If you make a vow to Yahweh your God, don't delay in fulfilling it, for Yahweh your God will surely require it of you, and you'll be guilty of sin.

So you make a vow, God's gonna condemn you if you don't offer it.

But if you refrain, and by the way, that's not justification for sinning, you don't want to put yourself in a situation where both things are sin, right?

Then you made a bad choice.

If you're in a situation where your choice is sinning this way or sinning that way, you made a bad choice.

So rewind the tape, don't make a vow.

And that's what Deuteronomy 23, verse 22 says.

Deuteronomy 23:22

If you refrain from vowing, you will not find yourself there.

You will not be guilty of sin.

So be careful to do what goes through your lips, because if you voluntarily vow to Yahweh your God, what you have promised with your mouth, you should do it.

You make a vow, keep the vow.

If you make a sinful vow, don't keep the sinful vow.

Don't make any kind of vow.

But if you make a vow that it's not sin, the Bible says you have to keep it.

And rather you find yourself in the weeds of those kinds of situations, don't make vows.

That's precisely why marriage is so distinct.

It is a covenant you make before the Lord for your spouse, and so don't make other covenants like that.

People get church disciplined all the time for breaking their marriage vows.

Because they made a vow and they won't follow through with it.

It shows they value each other over the Lord, which is sin.

They value their unhappiness over the Lord, which is sin.

Better to not make a vow at all.

And Paul says that in 1 Corinthians 7.

Psalm 109 says, Let people curse you, and you'll be blessed.

Let them arise and be put to shame, and your servant will be glad.

This is riffing off of Proverbs 26, verse 2, which says, Like a sparrow in its flitting, like a swallow in its flying, a curse that is causeless does not alight.

Proverbs 26:2

So here's a person that, this is a kind of a negative vow.

A person curses someone for no reason.

Cursed are you for cutting me off in traffic?

Rrrr.

May you get an offender bender tomorrow.

You know, it's like a bird that flutters around.

You don't know where it's gonna land.

Maybe it'll land on your tree, maybe it won't land on your tree.

That's what your words are like when you're cursing other people.

You're making vows about other people.

You can't even make vows about yourself.

That's dumb.

Now you're gonna make a vow about somebody else?

It's just words.

And so that's why David says in Psalm 109, let them curse you.

Who cares?

They're the ones who'll be put to shame.

Stable people don't make irrational vows.

Stable people don't curse other people.

They just don't.

They trust the Lord.

Wise people don't make vows.

Wise people trust the Lord.

Do you think it mattered that Goliath cursed David?

Remember, Goliath cursed David.

You're like a dog.

Think that mattered?

Did it make David cry?

It didn't matter.

His words just went to the wind as soon as they were said.

Shemai cursed David later.

Think that mattered?

It didn't matter.

Remember, other people are like, oh, should we go deal with him for cursing you?

And David's like, just ignore him.

If his curse is true, then it's from the Lord.

In which case I receive it.

If it's not true, then he'll be judged for it.

Ignore him.

They're like, oh, it's not right to curse the king.

David is being exiled.

He didn't care.

Was it right that the king's whole court cursed Jeremiah?

No.

Did it bother Jeremiah?

Listen, that's not what bothered Jeremiah.

Being thrown in the pit is what bothered Jeremiah.

People cursed him all day long.

So don't be like those people.

Don't be like Goliath.

Don't be like Shemay.

Don't be like the king's court that cursed Jeremiah.

That's not moralism.

That's wisdom.

Instead of saying tomorrow I'm going to turn my life around and do this and that, just do it.

Don't fear tomorrow.

So many curses and so many vows are about fear of tomorrow.

Ignore those.

So you take all this together: lying, gossip, slander, flattery, vows.

Here's how I would show them they relate.

Lying is saying things that aren't true.

Gossip is saying negative things about people that can be true.

Again, you can't tell.

It's about somebody else.

It's about a secret.

You don't know if it's true or not, but it could be true.

Slander is saying something that's not true and it's negative.

Flattery is saying something that's not true and it's it's positive.

Vows are saying something that's not yet true.

And you're hopeful.

Wouldn't it be better if you just said things that are true?

Like you would avoid all of this.

You would avoid all of this if you just said things that were uplifting, edifying, and truthful.

The wise person learns to live in the world as it is.

Even in the face of injustice.

We'll have proverbs about that later, but Ecclesiastes 8 is about that.

You find yourself in the corridors of power where there's injustice.

It's not your job to change injustice in the world.

Like you could take stands where you have opportunities to, but calm down there, Tiger.

The wise person figures out how to navigate the world as it is.

That's wisdom.

The wise person embraces truth.

It's the foolish person who lies about the world as it is.

It's the foolish person who tries to morph it into the world that he wants.

God is creating all things new.

He will bring all things to their proper end, to their telios.

He works all things in the design that he has in mind.

The wise person recognizes I don't know the secrets of God and humbles themselves before him.

Lord, we're grateful for your word.

Your word is truth.

We want to be found to be good stewards of it.

Help us lead lives that glorify and honor you.

We know that you are truth.

We want to walk in truth.

Help us to light in truth.

We ask this in Jesus' name.

Amen.

And now for a parting word for Pastor Jesse Johnson.

Thanks for joining us.

If you're in the Washington, D.C.

area, I would love to see you at Emmanuel Bible Church.

For more information on our church or our current service times, go to IBC.church.

For more information about the Master Seminary and their Washington, D.C.

location, go to TMS.edu.

I hope this resource has been a blessing to you and it helps you seek the Lord daily, serve others around you, and share the gospel with boldness.