"That it may go well with you" Ephesians 6:1-4 Sunday Evening Worship Service

The Apostle John says that there's no greater joy than that you hear that your children are walking in the truth.

So certainly then there could be no greater sorrow than to hear that the children of God are not walking in the truth.

And as I thought about what I would say tonight, stepping here sort of in my new role as the pastor of Next Gen, as I look at the families and the children in this church and the students, I would say that my desire for you is that I want to see all of you live the joy-filled life of obeying God's word.

Or as Paul would say in Ephesians 6, I want to see it go well with you.

And there's two assumptions in that desire.

The first is that you can actually have a blessed, joy-filled life here and now, even before heaven.

And the second assumption is that the only way for you to attain that joy is through obedience to God's word.

So that's my goal tonight.

In the short time I have, I just want to fight for your joy.

And I want to urge you to find that joy in obedience to God's word and obedience and alignment to the design that He has for your family.

If the joy and blessings that God has promised to us are to be experienced in our homes and then flow into a manual Bible church, two kinds of people must be present in our homes and in our church.

Obedient children and obedient parents.

And before we go to the first point where I'd like to speak to just the children about obedience, I just want to quickly catch you up.

Ephesians chapters 1 through 3 describe the eternal plan of God to save us in Christ for his glory and describes the creation of the church.

Ephesians 1 · chapter mention

And then in Ephesians 4 and 6, Paul moves on to the practical implications of this rich theology in the church and individual believers in the church, in the home, and even in the workplace.

In Ephesians 5, 22 to 33, we've seen what it is to have a spirit-filled, God-glorifying, Christ-exalting marriage.

And then in Ephesians chapter 6, Paul does something a bit odd for the first century.

Ephesians 6 · chapter mention

He speaks directly to the children.

And that's what I'd like to do first tonight.

In Ephesians chapter 6, beginning in verse 1, we see obedient children.

Ephesians 6 · chapter mention

So, kids, would you listen up for a moment as I speak to you from the Word of God?

Ephesians 6, verse 1 says this.

Ephesians 6:1

So there's some assumptions here.

And this is both for the parents and the kids to understand.

Assumption number one, the kids are in church with their parents.

So, kids, 2,000 years ago, when God inspired Paul to write these words, he knew that you'd be sitting here tonight.

He knew that you'd be singing, and he knew that right now that the very ears that he gave you would be hearing his word.

The second assumption, kids, is that you're listening.

Because if God is saying something to you, and if it's meant to be read out loud for you to hear, you're meant to listen to it.

So, kids, I want to tell you right now, flat out, I believe that God made you with the ability to glorify Him.

Every single one of you has the ability to live a life that is pleasing to God.

So if you're sitting here tonight, you can listen to the word of God and do what it says.

So, what does the word of God tell you to do?

It's very simple, kids.

Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

Obedience to your parents is obedience to the Lord.

And kids, it would be very unwise of you to try and play this game.

Okay, am I gonna listen to mommy and daddy because God told me to?

Or am I gonna listen to my mom and dad because I want to?

That's a bad question.

The answer is both.

Because Christians love God and they love their neighbor.

So you kids love God and do what he says, and he tells you to obey your parents, but you also do it because you love your parents.

Obedience to your parents is obedience to the Lord.

And kids, why?

Why should you obey your parents?

God could have said, obey your parents in the Lord because I said so and I'm God.

He could say that.

He's God, and sometimes your parents say that.

Why should I do that, mom and dad?

Because I'm your dad.

But that's not what he says.

He says to you, kids, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

Because it's right.

It's the right thing to do.

In what way?

Well, firstly, because God told you in the Bible to do it.

And you guys have been learning, you sang about it, you learn every Sunday and Sunday school, I'm sure you learn at your house, that the Bible is good.

And that when God tells you to do something, he knows what is good for you.

So when he commands you to do something, it's gonna be good for you to obey it.

That's why he's gonna quote the Bible in verses two and three, because he commanded this in Exodus 20, and it's said again in Deuteronomy chapter 5, which we'll look at later.

Deuteronomy 5 · chapter mention

So, kids, understand, when God tells you to do something, it's good for you.

The way that the psalmist describes it is that in Psalm 1, he says that you're blessed if you delight in the word of God day and night, if you meditate on it.

And if you do that, you'll be like a tree planted by streams of water, and you'll yield fruit in season.

So I want to ask you kids, you can raise your hand.

If you have a big tree in your front yard, raise your hand.

Okay.

You could be like that tree if you obey the Bible and if you honor your parents and do what they tell you to do.

You can be fruitful and big, and you can be a blessing in the summer and give shade to people and bring joy to your parents, or the psalm later says, but the wicked, those who don't listen to their mom and dad, they're like chaff that the wind drives away.

And I think a better way to understand that as a kid is you can be like the big tree that is a blessing and is growing strong, or you can be like the candy wrapper you throw away on the ground when you're done eating it.

When you obey the Bible, you're like a big strong tree that's healthy and is doing what God made it to do.

And also, God's commands are good for others too, kids.

Proverbs 15, 20 says this: a wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish man despises his mother.

You want to make your dad happy?

You want to bring joy to your mom's life?

Obey her.

Obey them.

Secondly, one of the reasons that this is right for you to do is because this is how God made the world.

So, kids, when God made the world and it was all said and done, he behold, he beheld everything that he made, and he said what?

It is very good.

I heard like one kid.

So let's try again.

Kids, when God made the world, he said that it was very good.

Exactly.

But then you turn the page and Adam and Eve sin against God.

They didn't believe that what he made was actually good.

And because they sinned, things went from good to bad.

But now, when you do what God tells you to do, as he sent Jesus to save us from our sins, to save us from the bad, and now we live obeying him.

When you obey your mom and dad, you're once again doing what is good.

What is right.

There's something in every single kid here, you know this.

When you're in the grocery store, the image of God is in you.

So you know there's something wrong when that kid starts stomping his feet and yelling at his mom because she won't buy him a candy bar.

There's something in you that knows that's not right.

And you're right, it's not.

Because that kid should obey their parents, and you know that deep down.

And that's because God made you with this conscience.

You understand right and wrong in a way that your pet dog doesn't.

But you do.

Because it's right.

Also, the reason it's right to obey your parents is because it pleases God.

Every single one of you kids can go to bed tonight and know I did what I was supposed to do today.

I lived exactly how God wanted me to.

Because he told you how to live.

Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

And lastly, why is it right?

Because the most perfect kid who's ever lived obeyed his parents.

He honored his parents.

In Luke chapter 2, verse 51, we read this.

Luke 2:51

And I don't have it memorized, so I'm gonna wait for the slide.

And he, Jesus, went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them.

And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart.

And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man.

Why should you obey the Lord?

Why should you obey your parents?

Because Jesus himself, who's perfect, everything he does is right, set the example for you and did the same.

But it goes on.

Paul now tells you where he's getting this from.

He's not just making it up, it's in the Bible.

In verse 2, he quotes from Exodus 20 and says, Honor your father and mother.

This is the first commandment with a promise, that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.

So, kids, do you think that if you obey your parents, that you won't die until you're old?

No.

That's not true.

That's not what God is promising you.

That's not what I'm promising you.

There are plenty of people who obey their parents and love the Lord and die young.

So, what does the promise mean for you guys?

What is God promising you guys if you obey your parents?

Well, firstly, what God is promising you is that when you're obeying your parents, when you're living the way God created you to live, that it's going to go well with you.

That your life will go better, particularly in your home when you obey your parents.

Now, in the Old Testament, this was quite literal.

The Old Testament says that the rebellious son who won't listen to mom and dad, take him outside in the church parking lot and stone him to death.

So, quite literally, if you obey the command to honor your mom and dad, you'll actually live.

Not just longer, you'll just live.

But this principle carries on now into the New Testament, and Paul is quoting it here, and what's being said, kids, is that your life will go better when you obey your parents.

Let me give you an example.

Put on your seatbelt.

That's gonna help you if you get in a car accident.

Don't touch the stove.

Anyone here who has disobeyed that knows exactly why your parents were trying to help you.

Or don't hang out with that friend.

Mom, dad, seriously?

You don't even know them like I do.

Well, we're wiser than you and we're helping you right now.

Or what about this?

Come to church.

Your parents love you.

That's why they're telling you to come to church.

That's why they make you go to children's choir.

Because they love you.

Because it's good for you and it's gonna go well with you when you obey your parents.

What about look both ways when you cross the street?

Your parents are telling you that because they love you, and if you don't obey that, you might get hit by a car.

Secondly, though, what does this promise mean?

Kids, I want you to recognize something.

I know that you think you guys are so young, you think I'm old.

That's how young you kids are.

But you're not gonna live that long.

Everyone over 40 is laughing right now.

But you're not gonna live that long.

You're really not.

Before you know it, your life is gonna be over.

Anyone who just laughed can tell you how quick life ends.

You guys have maybe 70, 80 years, and I want you kids to understand something that's gonna take you a whole lifetime to learn, but start learning it now.

The way that you live here and now doesn't just determine how your life goes here, it also determines how your life goes there when you're with the Lord.

You guys know that we go to hell because we disobey, right?

If you disobey your mom and dad, maybe it's because you've never obeyed God in the first place.

And Proverbs has some pretty serious words about this.

The eyes that mock a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures.

Sin leads to death.

A body that's having its eyes eaten out by vultures, ravens, is dead.

When you disobey God, the end of that is dying.

But those who obey God's word will live long in the land, as Paul is saying.

Now your life will be better, and but then you can live forever in heaven with Jesus because you've trusted in Jesus and said, I know that even though sometimes I don't want to listen to my mom and dad, I know that it's right.

I know that Jesus did it, and I know that God knows what's good for me, and I know that my parents love me and know what's good for me.

The God who made you wants your life to go well, and for it to go well in eternity, kids, and he's provided you a channel for your life to go well, and they're sitting right next to you right now.

It's your mom and dad.

So obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

And all the parents are nodding their heads, so now it's your turn.

Obedient children, but we also need obedient parents.

Verse 4 says, Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

He begins by sort of calling on fathers, but he's not just saying dads.

Yes, he's talking about the leadership of the father in the home, but Proverbs chapter 1, verse 8 calls on both moms and dads to be teaching kids and bringing them up.

Proverbs 1:8

Proverbs 1-8 says, Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching.

It's a team effort.

You both need to be involved.

But the question we have to ask now, because the Bible is telling us not to do something, parents, what provokes our kids to anger?

What does that mean?

How do you do that?

And I want to illustrate ways that we can provoke our kids to anger with the there's two ways to fall off a horse principle.

I'm gonna show you two extremes of different things, and maybe we need to be honest for a moment and consider are we doing any of these things?

Are there ways in which we're falling short of this command and we're actually creating an atmosphere for our kids where it's hard for them to obey us, where it's hard for them to love the Lord.

So let's be honest for a moment, and all of these were easy to think of because I've done them all.

So let's just like get that out of the way.

We've all made mistakes.

And now let's look at the word of God and let's listen and consider are there ways that we're provoking our kids?

One of the ways you can provoke your kids to anger is overprotection.

Kids get frustrated when they have no independence.

Another way that you can provoke your kids to anger, you're about to see the pattern, is underprotection.

Your kids also get frustrated when they feel like you don't have their back.

One of the ways you can provoke your kids to anger is over-discipline.

You need to learn to distinguish between rebellion and inquisitive thinking.

Sometimes a spank isn't the only way to deal with a problem.

If you over-discipline your children, you will provoke them towards anger.

But if you under-discipline your children, you will also provoke them to anger.

Because when you do not discipline your children, when there's sin in their life and you don't deal with it, then it's like there's a weed in their heart that you're not pulling.

So you're provoking anger by allowing anger to stay in their heart.

Because Proverbs tells us as parents that there's foolishness in that kid's heart, and the way you drive it out is with the rod.

And Proverbs 13, 24 tells us that if you don't discipline your kids, you hate them.

And I know you don't hate your kids.

If we underdiscipline, we can provoke our kids to anger.

We can provoke our kids to anger by expecting too much.

I am a firm believer in high expectations, and if you don't believe me, just watch me sit in the cul-de-sac while my kids bike.

I mean, seriously, if they fall, get up.

You know what I mean?

Like, I I have some high expectations on some of these things.

But please be realistic, because if your expectations exceed reality or your kids' ability, you're going to provoke them to anger.

Expecting too little can provoke your kids to anger.

If you belittle your children, if you discourage them, if if you don't challenge your kids in realistic ways, then they're also going to be provoked to anger.

They're going to be frustrated.

They're trying to grow up, and you're not letting them.

One of the examples of how this works in my house, it happened literally this morning.

Our kids always want to help us make food, make coffee, and it just slows us down.

But if I constantly tell them not to do that, they're going to be in college one day and not know how to make a Keurig.

You know what I mean?

And they're going to be frustrated because their friends are going to be laughing at them because they're like, they don't even know how to make cereal.

It's because mom and dad expected way too little of me my whole life.

It's frustrating to them.

And now, for a moment, I'd just like to say one of the ways you can provoke your kids to anger that's maybe so obvious, but needs to be addressed is verbal or physical abuse.

And please appreciate that this word is overused and misused often in our culture.

But make no mistake, if you are sitting here tonight and this is you, the God of heaven who will judge you sees you.

He knows what you're doing.

And while you still have breath in your lungs, you have an opportunity to turn from that sin and to stop provoking your kids to anger and live righteously.

And to do what God would command you to do, and maybe that's the very reason you came here tonight.

You thought, how on earth did I end up here tonight?

So that God could tell you, stop.

And if you need to talk to someone, please talk to us.

Legalism, this is the last one I have on the list.

I'm sure there's more.

Legalism provokes your kids to anger.

If you have expectations on your children and burdens upon them that aren't in the Bible, you're making your standards for your kids higher than the Lord's standards.

And by the way, the Lord's standards are very high, but they're biblical.

And one of the ways you can tell if you are prone to this kind of provoking for your children is when you discipline your kids for embarrassing you versus disciplining them for actually sinning.

Do you understand there's a difference there?

When you discipline them, did they disobey God's word or did they disobey your expectations?

Are your expectations aligned with the word of God?

So, parents, don't provoke your kids to anger.

So, what do we provoke our kids to then?

Well, toward good works and love and grace and faith in Christ.

But how do we do this?

Well, the Bible goes on.

But bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

We literally bring our kids up.

I mean, this is very literal at first.

We're literally bringing them out of the hospital.

We're literally putting them into their crib and bringing them up out of their crib.

As they learn to walk, we are bringing them up by their hands and helping them to walk.

But over time, this bringing up shifts from survival skills to bringing them up in social and spiritual and emotional skills.

So at a young age, we show them what a Christian is.

But as they grow older and older, we teach them to be Christians themselves.

We are raising them in the church with the goal that they themselves will take individualized ownership of their faith in Christ.

You don't want your kids relying on you as they get older.

You want to teach them to fly, to go be free in Christ, and to live a life of obedience to Him.

You want your kids to go to church just like you went to church and how you brought them to church.

But you want them to do it in a mature way where they've taken this on for themselves.

And one of the ways we aid our children in that is bringing them up.

In what?

Bringing them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

There's two things going on here discipline and instruction.

If you have little kids, spanking and speaking.

As your kids get a little older, discipline and discipleship.

These two things cannot be separated.

Ephesians chapter 4, verse 26, Paul's talking about how to deal with a thief.

Ephesians 4:26

And it gives us a good principle here.

He says in Ephesians 4 26, I think that's wrong.

Ephesians 4, 28, let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.

So you discipline your child for stealing, but you instruct them to do good with their hands.

Do you see how that works?

One of the ways we do this with our children is we have this phrase, I'm sure many of you say it because we've all stolen it from someone.

You say, your hands are for helping, not for hurting.

So you're not just disciplining your child for hitting their sibling, you're also teaching them what their hands are actually for.

You're teaching them to live, you're bringing them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

And don't miss the emphasis.

It's the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

So is your discipline leading your children to love Jesus more?

Is your instruction leading your children to love Christ?

Do your children know that the end goal of your parenting is Christ-likeness?

Is that the end goal of your parenting?

And understand that if you discipline and don't instruct, you'll provoke your kids to anger and you're falling short of the biblical standard that you're being called to as a parent.

And if you instruct and never discipline, you're also falling short of the biblical standard that God is calling you to here as a parent.

The content of our discipline and instruction is the word of God.

And the manner of our discipline and instruction is that we're seeking to please the Lord in all that we do.

Our goal is to show our children and guide our children and urge our children toward the Lord in all that we do.

I'd like to conclude tonight in Deuteronomy 5, and I want to take us to Mount Sinai, and we'll close here tonight.

Deuteronomy chapter 5, one of the portions of scripture where Paul is quoting from Deuteronomy chapter 5.

Deuteronomy 5 · chapter mention Deuteronomy 5 · chapter mention

I'm just going to read for you, verses 22 to 29.

Moses is recounting for Israel when they received the Ten Commandments, and he's he's telling them, retelling them about this experience of being at the foot of the mountain.

And he says in verse 22, These words the Lord spoke to all your assembly at the mountain out of the midst of the fire, the cloud in the thick darkness, with a loud voice, and he added, No more.

And he wrote them on two tablets of stone and gave them to me.

And as soon as you heard the voice out of the midst of the darkness, while the mountain was burning with fire, you came near to me, all the heads of your tribes and your elders, and you said, Behold, the Lord our God has shown us his glory and greatness, and we've heard his voice out of the midst of the fire.

This day we have seen God speak with man, and man still live.

Now therefore, why should we die?

For this great fire will consume us.

If we hear the voice of the Lord our God any more, we shall die.

For who is there of all flesh that has heard the voice of the living God speaking out of the midst of the fire as we have and has still lived?

Go near and hear all that the Lord our God will say, and speak to us, all that the Lord our God will speak to you, and we will hear and do it.

And the Lord heard your words when you spoke to me, and the Lord said to me, I have heard the words of this people which they have spoken to you.

They're right in all that they have spoken, and then listen to what the Lord says.

Oh, that they had such a heart as this always, to fear me and to keep all my commandments, that it might go well with them and with their descendants forever.

The problem for Israel was that their hearts were not naturally inclined to obey God.

And neither is ours.

The problem for Israel was that if they were truly to live in the land and to inherit the blessings of God, they were going to need a heart-level transformation.

God's offer to them that it may go well with his people was conditioned upon their obedience to his word, and they couldn't do it without a new heart.

Fathers and mothers and sons and daughters were all going to fail to honor one another, and they were going to consistently provoke one another to anger.

But God gave his people a new heart.

And in Ephesians chapter 2, this is how Paul says it you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience, among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and we were by nature children of wrath, just like the rest of mankind.

Ephesians 2 · chapter mention

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ.

By grace you have been saved.

And he raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace and kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

For by grace you have been saved through faith.

And this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God, not the result of work, so that no one may boast.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Moms and dads, you have been made alive in Christ to walk in the good works of disciplining and instructing your children in the Word of God with the goal of Christ-likeness.

Children, God has given you a clear and good word tonight.

Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

So, Emmanuel, if we're gonna experience the blessing of God in our homes and consequently in our churches, if things are gonna go well in Springfield, we're gonna need to see obedient children and obedient parents by the power of the Spirit in the name of the Son and for the glory of the Father.

Let's pray.

Father in heaven, your word is so clear.

Children obey their parents, for this is right, and parents bring up your kids in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Help us to do what your word says and to experience the blessings of living an obedient life for your glory and for the good of our homes and our church.

In Jesus' name.

Amen.

This is a song we love to sing in my house.

Trust and obey.

Originally written for kids.

So let's sing it together.

Sing it together.

When we walk with the Lord in the light of his word, what a glory he shares.

Not cloud in the skies, but I'm quickly trying to download.

Amen.

Well, I've been told to make a dangerous announcement, but don't move.

Uh there's cookies in the lobby.

Wait, stop, don't move yet.

But there's cookies in the lobby for us to enjoy afterwards.

Uh, can we just give a round of applause to our children's choir?

Thank you so much for blessing us this evening.

And can we give a round of applause to Kelly Nix and her entire team?

Thank you so much.

What a tremendous blessing.

Yeah, well, thank Jesus later.

Um grateful for him too.

What a wonderful day of worship it has been.

We'll end where we began with our crucified, risen, and ascended Lord.

Oh Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth.

Go in the peace of Christ.

We'll see you next Lord's day.

And now, for a parting word from Pastor Jesse Johnson.

If you have any questions about what you heard today, or if you want to learn more about what it means to follow Christ, please visit our church website, ibc.church.

If you want more information about the Master Seminary or our location here in Washington, D.C., please go to tms.edu.

Now, if you're not a member of a local church and you live in the Washington, D.C.

area, we'd love to have you worship with us here at Emmanuel.

I hope to personally meet you this Sunday after our service.

But no matter where you live, it's our hope that everyone who uses this resource is involved in their own local church.

Now may God bless you this week as you seek Jesus constantly, serve the Lord faithfully, and share the gospel boldly.