Marriage: Purity

much for the opportunity to come to date and to fellowship with brothers and

sisters and Lord even to be able to sing that song that everybody who's here today

if we profess our faith in you if we've surrendered our lives to you the hope

and the goal is to get to stand before you one day and seeing with our own eyes

and experiencing all that you truly are after living a lifelong time of just

believing and having faith the goal and the hope of seeing that brought to

fruition is a wonderful wonderful hope and privilege that we get to have the

father this morning as we come to you

and we just take the time I pray that you would help us to just surrender to you

father we're gonna talk about something today that if we're not surrendered to

you there's no way in the world most of us would ever consider any of this there's

nothing that I can say to convince anyone in this room my words are not

enough but father if yours Holy Spirit moves and you help these people to

surrender to you Lord you can speak and you can move and you can change us

so Lord I pray that every person in this room would just say God here I am help me

to surrender help me to be yours help me to be open and God teach me and show me

your ways well we love you and we thank you for this day pray for all of our

people pray for all of our brothers and sisters and pray for all of our churches

who are meeting right now in your name and we ask that your spirit would be

present and available and moving in a mighty way Jesus we love you and we ask

call this in your precious and holy name all God's people said you may be seated

got a long sermon today so we want to try to make it speedy we've been talking

about marriage week five last one as we've said before you can't change the

past if you have been affected by divorce or you've experienced divorce in

some way shape or form you can't change that only thing you can do is allow God

to work and move in your life and change you from this point forward and

what we're talking about today is the same thing you cannot change what has

already been done but God can change you from this point forward so as we

start today we're talking about sexual purity this is something that we don't

talk about a whole lot within the church it's typically a conversation that

within the certain context of people it's a very uncomfortable topic we don't like

to talk about these things some people you feel more comfortable talking about it

with most people you don't this is kind of a close circle thing that tends to go

on but we need to talk about it it's one of the things that we talk about in

premarital counseling with our young couples because dissatisfaction in this

area is listed as one of the top reasons that couples end up getting

divorced so it's not just something that we need to talk about from a perspective

of a young person who's looking to get married and and has that goal and wants

to experience this one day in the right context but it's also something we need

to talk about as married couples we need to make sure that we're handling it the

right way the way that God intended for it to be and so as we talk today

there's some things I want you understand it's a gift God gave it to

us he wanted us to experience that within the confines of marriage and

there's a way that he's called us to do it and there's a way that God's called us

to do everything so we should be surprised by that and in doing this

like this is a powerful thing this is something that every single one of us

at some point in time in our life have desired and if you're really young or

if you have children or grandchildren or something like that who's really young

eventually they're gonna desire this like this is coming up we don't talk

about it enough we don't address it up we live in a sexually saturated culture

it's everywhere it's on every screen it's on every radio it's in every song it's on

every cell phone and it is so available and if we don't do this if we don't talk

about it and if we don't set the standard as God's people the world will set the

standard for us and that's exactly what's been happening in our culture

okay so scripture is full of passages that deal with sexual purity we're gonna

read several of them today I got a lot of scripture this is one of those topics

you know last week I said there's not a whole lot of passages that deal directly

with spending quality time with one another a lot of passages of scripture

dealing with sexual purity and things like that so first passage this morning

is 1st Corinthians 6 verses 12 through 20 now when when you think about what

is going on during this time I want to remind you of what's happening in this

culture in this day during Jesus day as Rome is alive and well and it's

thriving you're dealing with this Hellenistic culture where it's like

beauty and the physical body is like the peak of all things sexual sin is

rampant in all parts of the Roman Empire even around like Jerusalem and

Palestine not so much within the Jewish context but with everyone else

surrounding them and so as they're as they're spreading the gospel and churches

are starting they're dealing with all kinds of sexual sin that's within like

people's lives because that's what they've grown up in very similar to our

day and time now a lot of their lives are built on worshiping false idols and

there was even sexual immorality within the context of worshiping those false

gods at the temple there was temple prostitutes all kinds of stuff taking

place and so in 1st Corinthians 6 verses 12 through 20 Paul is writing to the

Corinthians and his challenge and his encouragement for them is to avoid sexual

sin so let's read this together he says you say I am allowed to do anything but

not everything is good for you even though I am allowed to do anything I

must not become a slave to anything and sexual behavior is one of the most

addictive things that exist in our world when you do the studies on it and you

read about what happens to the human brain the same chemicals that that are

released when people do cocaine and heroin and all kinds of other drugs same

chemicals are being released dumped into the brain when people are engaging in

sexual activity so I must not become a slave to anything you say food was

made for the stomach and the stomach for food and this is true though someday God

will do away with both of them but you can't say that our bodies were made for

sexual immorality they were made for the Lord and the Lord cares about our

bodies I don't know about you get a little older and when I do things I

feel it a little more than I used to it's very comforting the older I get

to know that God cares about my physical body that that is important to

him he cares about our bodies we need to remember that and God will raise us

from the dead by his power just as he raised our Lord from the dead verse 15

don't you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ should a man

take his body which is part of Christ and join it to a prostitute never and

don't you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute he becomes one

body with her for the scriptures say the two are united into one but the

person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him so as we talk about this

we need to understand that what you choose to participate in is what you

are joined to if you are giving in or if you you allow your children or if

you personally are given the end to sexual immorality that is what you are

joined to it captivates you it holds you hostage and in bondage if you are

joined with Christ you become one with him and you can feel it because when you

walk in fellowship with God it is an amazing experience you feel it you know

it life is better but as soon as you begin to struggle whether it's with

sexual immorality or other things that you that might call your name because

it's different for everybody but if you fall back into those old sins you know

that like it becomes part of who you are and you feel dirty and you feel

separated from Christ you can't be joined to both we can only be joined to

one or the other verse 18 run from sexual sin no other sin so clearly

affects the body as this one does for sexual immorality is a sin against your

own body don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit

who lives in you and was given to you by God you do not belong to yourself one

of the things that you will hear from popular culture today is that people will

say this is my body I can make the decision I can do what I want it's my

body from a biblical Christian perspective it is not our body it is

the Lord's and let's finish that verse in verse 20 it says for God bought you

with a high price so you must honor God with your body your body is a temple of

the Holy Spirit and so if you want to talk about let's make the analogy from

Old Testament scripture and you talk about the temple and you talk about what

needs to happen for worship and sacrifice to take place in that temple

it has to be purified it has to be cleansed it has to be set in order so

that the sacrifices can be brought in and worship can be given to God and if

your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit where God dwells and your body is the

place where worship is supposed to be happening and taking place when you

defile that temple the worship stops it has to be cleansed it has to be

purified that is why whenever we struggle with sexual sin or any other

sin for that matter we feel dirty and guilty and the last thing we want to do

is read scripture the last thing we want to do is get on our hands and

ease and pray the last thing we want to do is go to church because we know dang

pastor's gonna say something make me feel guilty today because I know he knows he

looked at me he knows and I don't know that's not a gift the Lord has given

me but I've been there and I know because I've set in your seat before and

I've walked in with guilt and I know how it feels and this last place you want

to be when you have sin in your life and you feel dirty our body is a temple

it's meant for the worship of God so point number one this morning when we are

talking about sexual purity you need to talk about it whether you're an adult or

a grandparent a parent you have kids grandkids you need to talk about this

the world's view on sex is very different than what a Christian's view

should be on sex the world is saturated in it it's within a fingertip we live in

sex saturated culture and your kids no matter how old they are have access to it

any day and time with the click of a finger let me give you a personal

testimony 1993 I was in third grade I was somewhere between the ages of seven

and eight because I turn always turn the next age during the school year I had

no idea what sex was no idea that I would be interested in sex at this

time and I can remember going to a friend's house and at that friend's house

he pulls out pornography for the first time we're third grade seven or eight

years old I'm exposed to pornography for the first time at that age and that's

when the addiction started for me and it's something I carried all the way

through because I wasn't saved I didn't become a Christian till I was 16 a

junior in high school and you come to find out we you know we talked oh yeah

everybody's dad has it so the whole friend group we're going around and

sure enough we start digging through our parents stuff like little kids do we

start digging and we we all find it everybody's that has it and so that at

that point we're trading and taking and stealing and and it was and that was

back then when you kind of had to make an effort to get it you live in a day

and time where your kids are just like it's it's everything and it's not just

like something that they can get like watch on TV or listen to a radio I mean

they can be in the middle of a class and someone in their class can just

airdrop them a picture in the near in the middle of class and they can

receive that and they don't even have a choice if they got it their airdrop

turned on your kid can just receive an image that somebody sends them like that

and you'll never unsee it you'll never be able to get it out of your mind God has

given us this amazing gift of sex and the world has taken it like we have

done with everything else and we've perverted it and made it into just this

infinite amount of ways to be able to see him and most of the ways that your

kids are going to be exposed to it from the world's perspective is most

certainly going to be sinful there are people out there trying to sell them all

kinds of stuff you have an industry of pornography that generates hundreds of

billions of dollars every year you know pornography by itself generates more

revenue each year than the MLB NBA and NFL combined then all three sports

combined it's a profitable business it's easy to sell because it is that

addictive and it's a heck of a topic man cuz let's be honest you don't want to

sit down and have this conversation with your kids I got three kids I don't I

don't look forward to this day I don't look forward to sitting down and like

talking with them about it it's uncomfortable and I know they're gonna

look forward to talking to me about it I don't give my dad a whole lot of

credit but one of the things that he said long time ago which I think is

really wise is if they're old enough to ask they're old enough to know and

so if you got kids asking questions you definitely should be having

conversations you don't have to go into detail you don't have to do it

inappropriately this is one of the reasons why we should be praying and

seeking God to give us wisdom and understanding and how to talk to this

because if you don't handle it the right way you can be given too much

information and make it more of a struggle than it already is but if

they're old enough to ask they're old enough to know and chances are they're

hearing it from friends they're hearing it from older siblings they're hearing it

from teachers they're hearing it from schools the schools teaching it and the

school is not teaching it the way that the scripture teaches it they're

teaching the way the culture is pushing them to teach it and you got to ask

yourself this question do I want my child to hear about sex sexual purity

and to base their life around this the way that scripture calls us to as

believers or am I just gonna turn them over to the world let the world teach

them their ways because you wouldn't do it in any other area you would never

let your kid just be like scooped up by some random person and be taught

something that you don't want them to know so we cannot avoid it point to we

need to know what the word says we need to have a good biblical theology on

sexual purity this is a must because for years basically as a church all we've

said is don't have sex don't think about it don't talk about it this is the thing

we do not speak of in church we avoid it we don't do it and we shame people

whenever they do do it and people who make the mistake end up pregnant do all

this stuff like they don't even know what to do they don't even know if

they can be accepted in church anymore after that because they just all they

know is they've been taught this their whole life you're not supposed to do it

but we have to have a good biblical theology and understand why God is

calling us not to engage in sexual activity and sexual temptations and all

these different things beforehand because he has a plan and a purpose for

us he cares about our bodies he cares more about your soul and he has a plan

and a purpose for you and your children and your grandchildren scripture talks

about sex all through it when you look at Song of Solomon you have this really

cool book it gets a little weird and spicy okay so don't read it we that's

look that we don't read with our kids yet all right we're not doing Bible time

with Song of Solomon yeah but it's just really cool book between King

Solomon and one of his wives and they're just kind of going back and

forth it's almost like these little love letters they're writing each other

and it gets like I said it's a little spicy there's some like explicit stuff in

it whenever it's talking so it talks about the goodness of sex within marriage

within the confines of marriage the way that's supposed to be then you have

the book of Proverbs which King Solomon writes to his sons because there's no

telling how many sons he had he can't sit down and have the conversation with

every single one of them so he writes a book to give to all of them and we

get the benefit of that today but it warns young men stay away from sexual

immorality avoid the immoral woman have self control in the midst of this it's

not supposed to be something that you're supposed to be dominated by but it's

supposed to be something that God given you to enjoy it's a gift within the

confines of marriage but have self control and discipline in it and then

you look at all the New Testament epistles which are addressed to all the

New Testament churches and they're filled with scripture dealing with sexual

sin because they were all struggling with it and so as we sit here today and

no matter how old you are young you are and it feels like man it's just

everywhere and you can't avoid it it was everywhere in biblical times that's why

there's so many passages dealing with it and what you find is is that there's

not this this um there's no specific scripture that's going to just be laid

out there and say thou shall not have premarital sex thou shall not look at

pornography thou shall not think about things in your mind like there's there's

no passages that you're going to look for and you're looking for these kind

of ten commandments style of passages that say don't do this because when I

first got saved and I was 16 I was not convinced that I was ready to

completely surrender my life and not engage in that area I was a new

Christian I was curious I knew I knew people were saying you're not supposed to

I knew that was a view of Christianity but I needed to see that for myself when

I started reading scripture it was a little frustrating because I couldn't

find passages that said thou shall not have premarital sex but as I kept

reading scripture what you find is is that scripture just kind of throws a blanket

over this issue and it talks about sexual immorality as a whole and I don't

know about you but for me it was it was exactly what I needed I probably should

have been a lawyer I'm not smart enough to be a lawyer probably should have been

I like to argue and I like to find loopholes and find a way to cheat the

system I enjoy that don't know why just do that's my natural instinct and so if

there's a line I love to tow the line I love to see how far over the

line I can lean and get a tool and reach over there and kind of scoop stuff

up from over the line but I didn't cross the line so I didn't do anything wrong

that's kind of attitude that I have and so for me when I read New Testament

scripture and it just kind of throws that blanket cover over sexual

immorality it guards us from this attitude and this mindset of how far

can we get to the line without crossing the line because what it does is

it calls us to back away from the line and as we deal with sexual immorality

and sexual purity to understand that okay Lord where the line is and if we

see the line if there's something there we should have this constant mindset of

retreat remember what Paul said flee from sexual sin no other sin will so

clearly affect your body your temple your worship than sexual sin now

throughout the course of my walk with Christ I've struggled with many different

sins but there's not one that has made me feel so dirty and inadequate than the

sexual sins that I've struggled with it has been something that it really does

it weighs on you differently and this is one of the reasons why the New Testament

just kind of throws that blanket on top of it and talks about it so let's

look at Ephesians 5 verses 3 to 4 Paul writes to the church in Ephesus and he's

Ephesians 5:3–4

talking about what it means to live in the light of Jesus Christ and in verse

3 it says let there be no sexual immorality impurity or greed among you

he doesn't address these little things he doesn't address certain things he

throws a blanket over he says let there be none such sins have no place among

God's people and then he goes in and he just kind of doubles down and increases

in verse 4 he says obscene stories foolish talks and coarse jokes these

are not for you instead let there be thankfulness to God he throws this

blanket over it and I don't know about you guys but I know for me I've been in

the locker room I've been on the work sites I've been in jobs with people and

I've heard all the stories and I've heard all the jokes and I've heard all

the things that people like to share and the stuff that they like to talk

about among men I don't know what women do but men it's a common it's a common

conversation and this is Paul says hey look let there be no immorality among

you this is difficult because what it calls us to do is to retreat it calls us

to pull back it causes us to remove ourselves from the things of the world

that shouldn't be there sexual immorality being one of them and to

retreat to maintain our purity flee from sexual immorality Galatians 5 verses

Galatians 5:19–21

19 to 21 Paul is teaching the Galatian church about living within the Holy

Spirit's power he says when you follow the desires of your sinful nature the

results are very clear sexual immorality notice that in these passage the first

thing that's mentioned is sexual immorality because it's the primary thing

that most people were struggling with so sexual immorality impurity lustful

pleasures those are blanketed terms because they could encompass many

different things that people are struggling with in that area and then

in verse 20 he goes on to say idolatry sorcery hostility quarreling jealousy

outbursts of anger selfish ambition dissension division envy drunkenness

wild parties and other sins like these

now this is kind of odd because Paul has just coupled sexual immorality and

lustful pleasures with sorcery and idolatry there's nothing more addictive

in our lives for some people than sexual immorality it becomes something that

holds us captive and keeps us in bondage and it is a terrible thing to

struggle with and it can quickly become our idol I know growing up as a

young man I know there were people who like that's what they lived for it was

the thing they woke up for it was the goal they were trying to achieve for

that day it was the one thing that they were constantly thinking about and

striving for if we're not careful you become idolatry but idolatry and sorcery

is pretty serious like when you think from a scriptural standpoint and that's

what lustful pleasures and sexual immorality are coupled with but then

there's also things like envy selfish ambition which don't seem that bad but

they're called coupled with the same thing and look at what he says as you

finish verse 21 let me tell you again as I have before that anyone living that

sort of life will not inherit the kingdom of God that's pretty serious

now want to share something with you this morning that if these are things in

your life that you're struggling with but you're battling them and you're

praying and and there's guilt in your life you're saying God forgive me for

this help me to overcome this but it's something that you seem to be struggling

with on and off and and you're trying to make the effort to overcome this

with the help of Christ I don't believe that it's saying that the kingdom of God

is not for you but if you're living that life if you're just giving into it

and that's the life that you're living anyone living that sort of life will

not inherit the kingdom of God that's pretty stiff I don't know how to

bend that one to make you feel better but that's where we are in scripture

it's a serious thing Matthew 5 verses 27 to 28 Jesus said you have heard the

Matthew 5:27–28

commandment that says you must not commit adultery but I say anyone who

even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in

his heart it is amazing that 2,000 years ago Jesus automatically split the

hair that everyone was like well you know we can look I can remember one time

I went on a middle school field trip to New York and our chaperone was a grown

man who was married and we went and we were middle school boys I was not saved

at the time so women were obviously part of the sightseeing we were doing

while we were in New York and part of our conversation and I remember the

husband who was our chaperone made some comments like you can't do that

you're married he said it's okay to look at the menu as long as you don't order

off of it that man is no longer married today as Jesus very much understood even

2,000 years ago there's something that goes on within us that even the desires

in our heart and the things we think about in our mind even though we may

not flesh that out in our actions it's still very much affects our soul and

who we are that we need to be on guard even with what we are thinking about

and lusting after and desiring mark chapter 7 verse 15 says it's not what

Mark 7:15

goes into your body that defiles you you're defiled by what comes from your

heart so let's skip down to verses 20 through 23 and then he added it is what

comes from inside that defiles you for from within out of a person's heart

come evil thoughts sexual immorality theft murder adultery greed wickedness

deceit lustful desires envy slander pride and foolishness all these vile things

come from within they are what defile you and so you need to understand this

morning there can be people in this room even your own children you could

block every TV in your home you could never give them a tablet you could even

I'm about to never buy them a cell phone you could remove any source of

temptation whatsoever from letting the outside world get to them but

eventually they're going to come of age where they're going to have desires and

there's going to be things that they think about there's gonna be things

that they wonder and they can sin against the Lord just as much in here

and in here as they can by doing this right here or looking or talking or any

other sort of activity that they can do so you can put them in a bubble but the

bubble is not the answer we don't want our kids to have tablets and phones and

all those things it's gonna be a long time before they ever get any of that

but I'm also very aware that they can sin they can have sexual sin in their

hearts just as easy without all that stuff because of what goes on in here

and in here and it's not what's out there that defiles us if you're sitting

in here this morning you love Jesus Christ it's what's in here and in here

that defile you from within of a person comes evil thoughts sexual

immorality lustful pleasures that is what defiles us all the other actions

are just the consequence of us seeking out what we desire and that's what we have

to be realistic about it's gonna come it's a point three the times coming no

matter how young and innocent your little child or grandchild may be or how

sweet your nieces and nephews are eventually they will get to a point

where they will be interested in sex some of them will be exposed to it long

before they should and you may have to address it before the time should have

happened but you need to be aware if they're old enough to ask or old enough

to know and for some reason they're asking then you need to be willing to

talk about it because the time's coming and it's usually the young men who

arrive at it a little sooner because they have all these desires going on

and all these thoughts and they've been exposed they're here and all these

older guys talk about stuff and and it's just it's a nightmare man and it's

so unfair because it's something they desire but we live in a world where

typically they should have had to wait anyway but but people are waiting so much

longer now to get married and so they're they're entering into a lifestyle of not

just waiting till they're 17 18 19 to get married anymore like they used to do

in the olden days now it's like 20 something 30 something before they get

married that they're gonna have to reign this thing in with the help of

God and bring it under control young women usually enter into this not as

something that they necessarily desire but something that they they just love

the person that they're with they really care for the guy they're dating they

want to be connected and closer with them and they're willing to engage in

this to be connected and closer and we need to be ready to talk about this and

explain hey you're supposed to wait you need to wait point four sex is a gift

from God one of the biggest failures that we've done as the American church

is to not talk about sex and to treat it as this like it's the most horrible

thing ever we don't talk about it we don't speak about we don't think about

it and that's it but it's a wonderful gift

Genesis 2 24 to 25 the second chapter of the Bible says this explains why man

leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife and the two are

united into one now the man and his wife were both naked but they felt no shame

think about how wonderful of a gift it is to simply be able to be with your

spouse and to be completely naked and completely vulnerable and to feel no

shame I don't know about y'all I don't want to do that like I it's a terrible

thing I have nightmares usually every Saturday night before church about things

like forgetting my sermon can't find my sermon had a nightmare a couple weeks

ago woke up at like 4 a.m. I dreamed that I got up to make an announcement at

church I didn't have a shirt on and I woke up from that in a sweat like that's

how I felt about it and to think about how uncomfortable you would feel to be in

that situation of something as silly as that like oh my gosh this is my nightmare

to be able to be with the person that God gives you within the context of

marriage and to feel no shame to be so intimate and so vulnerable and to be so

comfortable that's a gift that you can't buy that's a wonderful gift from

God Proverbs 5 verses 18 to 19 young men let your wife be a fountain of blessing

Proverbs 5:18–19

for you rejoice in the wife of your youth she is a loving dear a graceful dough

let her breast satisfy you always may you always be captivated by her love we

have treated sex like this unspeakable thing and scripture has has passages to

talk about how we should appreciate and love the physical attributes of that

sexual intimacy between our partner for women song of Solomon chapter 1 verses 12

Song of Solomon 1:12–13

to 13 here Solomon's wife the king is lying on his couch enchanted by the

fragrance of my perfume my lover is like a sachet of myrrh lying between my breasts

most of us probably didn't even know those were in there but we've treated

sex as this like thing like it's all wrong do you know how many young

couples we've done premarital counseling with and we end up on like the

fourth or fifth session and we got to talk about sex because it's a big deal

because it's one of the reasons why people listen why they get divorced and

so we talk about sex and then the girl who's been raised in church she saved

herself she's a virgin she's very adamant about that most of those girls

are terrified of sex they go into marriage me like oh my gosh I don't know

world where they're very young girls who are engaging in sexual activity but

we have Christian girls who are terrified of it as adults when I taught high

school I taught ninth grade geography I had a girl in my class pregnant with her

second child 14 years old there's a reason why people do it it's supposed to

be enjoyable right it's a gift we can't teach our kids and like create this

message like it's this terrible thing like it shouldn't be enjoyed we need to

talk about it in the proper context and not glorify as the most important thing

is this but it's a really important part of life it's a really important

part of marriage it's a gift that the Lord has given us and it would be wrong

for us to treat it as unimportant or discard it as meaningless point five sex

is all about God's timing you know one of the things that we need to talk with

kids about young people and even for us as adults is it's all about God's

timing it's not that God doesn't want you to have sex God created you to have

sex God gave you everything you needed to have sex and he also created the

little clock inside your body that goes nuts when you get to the age of when

you're ready physically to be able to have sex he gave that to you it is a

gift from God but it's all about his timing it's not that God doesn't want

you to have sex God has created most things in life to be given and enjoyed

in his timing how many of you have ever had to pray about something and you

wanted it right now but God did not give it to you right then you had to wait and

be patient for God to give you that in life in most things in most things most

good things come with time sex is one of the greatest gifts that God has

given us for people to enjoy but it's his timing it's meant to be enjoyed in

his timing Song of Solomon chapter 2 verse 7 this is Solomon's wife and she says

Song of Solomon 2:7

promise me oh women of Jerusalem by the gazelles and wild deer not to awaken

love until the time is right here's this young woman who's writing all these

things all these like intimate kind of like spicy things to her husband about

her husband but at the same time she says don't okay this is great I'm

talking about my husband he's wonderful we're having these great intimate

experiences but don't do this until the times don't awaken it before it's

supposed to be and she repeats this phrase in chapter 3 verse 5 also in

chapter 8 verse 4 God's timing is important there's a gift but it's meant

to be enjoyed in God's timing and God's context which is inside of marriage

inside of marriage point 6 last one and when you finally do get married for all

you made people out there it needs to be a priority make it a priority it's a

gift from the Lord don't discard it one of the things that we talk about with

couples and pre-marital counseling is is that it will typically be on the

bottom of the priority list between a husband and a wife everything else will

happen before the intimacy time between a husband and a wife because it kind of

has to you know you got to get up and go to work you got to earn a job because if

you don't you can't pay the bills you don't have food you don't have a house to

live in you know you got to get kids ready for school you got to do this

you got to do that you got to go to sports you got all these responsibilities

you got to go to a family's house you got to go help so-and-so you do all

these things and at the end of the day when both of you finally sit down

at nighttime and if you're not just strung out dog tired and ready to go

to sleep you look at each other and you're like maybe are you in the mood

maybe are you too tired maybe maybe not you don't know and then a lot of times it

doesn't happen and so it has to be a priority it has to be something that you

make a priority between the two of you and don't think for one second that

there's not a passage of scripture for it because in first Corinthians chapter

seven verses three to four as Paul instructs the Corinthians on marriage

because they were having all kinds of issues with sexual immorality all kinds

of issues with how they deal with marriage and he says the husband should

fulfill his wife's sexual needs which are very different than a male sexual

needs okay these are very different things the husband should fulfill his

wife's needs the wife should fulfill her husband's needs the wife gives

authority over her body to her husband and the husband gives authority over her

his body to his wife there's an obvious awareness of scripture that this is

something that we needed help in in our lives and it's and it's still this

way today you know I could not believe this but my wife part of her job is to

teach women how to breastfeed their babies like all these women come in

they have a baby it's amazing how natural it is to like have a baby and

then when you have a baby like nobody knows how to take care of a baby like

it's so natural to have one so hard to take care of one and so like these

people come in and they're having trouble breastfeeding and they they need

someone to like teach them what to do and I'm just like how every other animal

in the world figures this out like animals figure it out like cows horses

I don't know that's about all the animals we had growing up they figured

it out why can't we figure why is it so hard for people but it's amazing at what

sometimes we just need help and explanation on how to do something to

these little techniques that just make it better and sex is one of those

things that that you think oh it would be so obvious the way that we should

handle it and it would be so easy to do but guys anything that we do for the

Lord anything that we do for the Lord is typically a little harder and takes a

little more time but it's worth it it is absolutely worth it do it God's way

because if you don't do it God's way and you do it the world's way what you're

doing is is you're dragging a world of baggage into marriage with you and

that's that's similar with everything I mean if you're in debt you're dragging

the baggage of debt in the marriage if you whatever it is whatever mistakes that

you made beforehand you're dragging that baggage in with you if you've made

mistakes in your sexual purity you're dragging that baggage in with you what

has happened already you cannot change you can't undo what's been done don't

let don't let the devil beat you down about that repent of that turn away

from us God to change you and move you forward from here on out because God has

a plan and a purpose for you and in first Thessalonians chapter 4 verses 3 to 5

1 Thessalonians 4:3–5

last thing and we're done first Thessalonians 4 3 to 5 God's will is for

you to be holy you want to know what God's will is for your life it's not to

be a doctor it's not to be rich it's not to be a professional athlete God's

will is for you to be holy so stay away from sexual sin you think there's any any

accident whatsoever as Paul wrote that he says God's will is for you to be holy

so stay away from sexual sin it is the main thing that's going to cripple you

up in your pursuit of holiness with your relationship with God verse 4 then each

of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor not in lustful

passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways you know what the

fruits of the spirit are there's nine of them I'm gonna give you one self

control the evidence of the Spirit of God living in our life is self control

young women young men to get a to get a grip on this thing to to live your

life in a way that is pleasing honor to God you cannot do this under your own

strength the desires of the flesh will win over your own personal willpower

but the Spirit of God through him all things are possible and the fruit of

the Spirit of God living in your life is self-control through God's help we

can have self-control to not be addicted to the lustful pleasures of

this life but to live within the Spirit of God and to honor him and to serve him

and to be holy because that is what he wants for our lives let's pray Father

God thank you again for this day and this time and thank you for the men and

women no matter how young or old they may be who are gathered in this room

Jesus I pray that you would work and move in our lives I know there are young

people here who are not convinced that they want to surrender this area of

their life to you because I sat in this room and I also was not convinced

for a time but Lord it's not a matter of how much we understand something Lord

it's a matter of how much we're willing to surrender and put our faith in you to

understand that your ways are better than our ways Jesus help us to have

faith in that to believe with all of our hearts that your ways are better than

our ways and for all of us parents and grandparents no matter how much we

messed up no matter how we have failed to acknowledge that Lord we were wrong

and help us to train our kids up and our grandkids up in ways that are better

than what we did so that they don't have to deal with the same stuff we had to

deal with they don't have to struggle with the same stuff we had to struggle

with so that they can be holy early on in their lives to guard them from so

many of the consequences that come with sin Jesus we love you today we thank

you for your love and mercy we thank you for your forgiveness to know that

it can be washed away and that Lord you'll never remember it again Jesus that

you just want to help us to move forward from this point home to serve you to

honor you and to be holy like you've called us to we love you and we ask all

us in Jesus name amen thank you