Love is the Mark of Maturity

Our kids' ministry team there is there to teach them the truths of God's word.

Really glad for them to have that opportunity.

Glad for us to be in Romans 12 today.

And uh one of the things that I know for sure, I hope you know this as well, is that uh to open up the word of God, to teach it, to preach it, to hear it, receive it, be changed.

Like we want all that to happen, and we need God's help for that to happen.

Like that's just not something that we can generate on our own power, and we are fully dependent upon him.

And because of that, I want to pause right here again and just go back to the Lord, ask for his help, his grace.

And let me give you a short prayer for you to pray.

And there's one I'll pray over you.

Short prayer this week.

Lord, help me to hear from you and respond in obedience.

All right, let's go to prayer together.

Lord Jesus, we ask you would help us to hear from you this morning and help us to respond in obedience.

In Jesus' name, amen.

Several years ago, actually last year, we took our kids to Niagara Falls.

Anybody been to Niagara Falls?

Awesome.

Anybody been more than once?

A few of you been more than once?

Okay.

So we we went to Niagara Falls.

You could see us right there.

And uh, when you go to Niagara Falls and then you try to tell somebody else about being at Niagara Falls, this idea of capturing the magnitude of it is really challenging.

Right?

So you could just say, yeah, it was really big and really really cool, and you should go there.

Like, that's true, but it doesn't quite capture the whole thing, right?

And what I realized after this trip, this was like my second time to be there, is there's a lot of layers.

And I I could try to tell you all the different layers.

And so in my mind, as I was thinking through this week, like, well, I could tell you the statistics of this thing, like how wide it is and how deep, and you know how many gallons of water or whatever is flowing over the edge.

I could I could tell you the history of the preservation and all the work that went into maintaining it.

I could tell you about the geography of it and how the US-Canadian border comes together, and the Canadians say that they have the better view.

And look, I give Pastor Rob a hard time about this this week.

The Canadians used to have hockey, and now they don't even have that.

So they just have to try and claim Niagara Falls and a better view.

Um, but I could tell you about the geographic like components of it.

I could tell you about the economic impact and all the guests that come in and the money that comes through and the jobs, all of that.

Or I could tell you personally how it felt for me.

So this picture here is on the a boat called the Maid of the Mist.

Some of you have been there and experienced it.

Others of you have watched The Office and are familiar with it.

But the uh the Maid of the Mist takes you into the middle of the falls.

And so we were kind of excited for it.

We go down in there, and what they didn't tell you on the front end, or at least they didn't tell me, is it is absolute white out conditions on the inside.

So you get down in there, there's so much water swirling.

Like I've I've seen blackout.

I put my hand in front of my face, it was so white I couldn't see my face or my hand.

And then it's it's a hurricane-level wind swirling with the mass of water, and there's water hitting you from every angle.

And I'm not joking at all.

I thought when we're in the midst of it, I'm gonna die.

Like it was so scary.

And I've seen this boat go in and out like hundreds of times a day, thousands of people.

And uh my heart rate is spiking, my blood pressure is doing wonky things, I feel this adrenaline rush, I'm like trying to grab on to the handle there.

I'm like, what in the world is happening?

Like it was a completely gripping experience, and the picture turned out all right, but honestly, I have very minimal recollection of this picture even being taken.

I was so scared.

But if you could capture the whole, like all these different ways I'm trying to describe Niagara Falls to you, and you see it all in one, it's really impressive.

And the appreciation I have for Niagara Falls today is much bigger than what I had as a child when we visited, because I went back and I saw it with fresh eyes.

I'm like, whoa, there's a lot here, right?

I think there's a real comparison between this picture of Niagara Falls and what Romans 12, 9 to 21, is telling us about love.

Now, the title of the sermon is Love is the Mark of Maturity.

But what I hope happens for you as you come back to this passage over and over through your life is that you grow in appreciation of wonder for it and what actually this call to love looks like.

You grow in greater knowledge of what God expects from you.

You know, you read through it, and it kind of feels like Paul goes on a sanctified Twitter blitz, doesn't it?

Like boom, boom, boom, boom, all these unrelated commands.

He seems to be kind of like weaving in and out of the church, telling us what to do.

As a pastor, I'll tell you, it was kind of overwhelming this week trying to figure out how to put this all together into one sermon.

It was mentally overwhelming.

Like, how do I put these commands together in a way we can get through?

And then I started thinking about my own life personally in reflection on this passage, and that was kind of overwhelming in its own way.

And then I thought about applying it to our whole life as a church, and like there was a lot of challenges there as well.

So let me just say on the on the front end, like if you have the kids' bulletin, I just apologize in advance.

What I had planned to say Tuesday or Wednesday is almost nothing near where we're at today.

So that's not gonna help you as a note-taking device.

Um, but what I do think Paul is doing here is he's painting this holistic picture of what genuine love looks like.

It's a big picture.

I think there's a danger for us of hearing this, like here's how I level up morally.

Swing myself up to the next spot.

What might be a better way of seeing this is here you're finding an invitation into the very core of the universe.

The Trinitarian God existing before time, space, and matter.

Father, Son, and Spirit lives in a loving relationship.

This is what the Trinity is doing before anything was created.

The Father loving the Son, the Son loving the Spirit, the Spirit loving the Father, all in this harmony of love.

And that desire to share that love bubbles up in creation and outbursts this universe out of love, out of churches created out of love to demonstrate the love that was in the Father and the Son and the Spirit before time began.

Like in a very real way, at the core of the universe is not physics or chemistry or biology or molecules, but love.

And here in this profound text, we are invited into the very core of the universe.

And that, friends, is why when you show up in a church and a particular church just bleeds love and you can just sense it, that's why it feels real.

Because it is.

It's at the core of the universe.

And that's why when you walk into a church and there's division and hostility and infighting and backbiting and all that, it feels fake.

Why?

Because it is, it's not what it was created to be, it's not in its DNA to be that way.

Does any church embody this perfectly?

No.

Are we called to embody it beautifully?

Yes.

And for those of you that are here who have had a really ugly church experience, you should know that this passage justifies critique of the church in many ways.

To look and say, yes, they've lost their way over there, but this is not how it's supposed to be.

This is not at the core.

What Paul's saying here is there is only one path to this deepest level of love.

It is the gospel of Jesus Christ.

You see, Romans 12, 1, Paul says, Therefore, in view of God's mercies, you see what his mercy has done.

Now, here's how you go, therefore, and live in light of it.

Right?

Well, what this means, you can't just say, I want the ethic of love, the nice teachings of the Bible, without the sacrificial gospel of Christ that transforms you into a self-sacrificial person.

It's like wanting to have the apple without the tree.

You cut down the tree, and eventually either you're gonna lose all the apples or you're gonna produce fake apples that look like the same thing on the outside, but it's not actually heart change.

You must have the gospel to get the ethic of love, the heart change for love.

Love is the mark of maturity.

Now, I told you a minute ago, the kids' bulletin wasn't gonna help.

There was too much going on.

Usually I try to get down to a simple statement in three points.

This week I got down to a simple statement in 12 points.

We will move quick.

Simple statement you already have.

Love is the mark of maturity.

Really, what Paul is building out here is the gospel's the foundation.

12.1, 12.2.

Present your body as a living sacrifice.

Then you'll know what the will of God is.

You know what the will of God is?

You live as a living sacrifice with genuine love in these 12 ways.

Okay?

What are the characteristics of gospel-shaped love?

Number one, it's genuine.

What are the characteristics of gospel-shaped love?

It is genuine.

Right out of the gate, verse nine.

Let love be genuine.

Let it not be hypocritical.

The Greek word there means not like an actor on a stage.

An actor on a stage knows they're putting on a show.

Right?

For love to be genuine does not mean it must be perfect.

Like sometimes we get confused about what it means to be a hypocrite.

To be imperfect does not make you a hypocrite, it makes you a human.

Christians are known for their repentance, daily repenting.

Hypocrisy is when I say, I know I'm something different, and I actively pretend to be something I'm not.

That's a key difference right there.

But genuine love, just think about this.

It is the greatest command.

Jesus says in Matthew 22, what's the greatest command?

Love God, love neighbor.

It is the greatest apologetic, John 13, verse 35.

John 13:35

By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

And it is the greatest virtue.

1 Corinthians 13, faith, hope, and love.

But the greatest of these is love.

Here you find the greatest command, the greatest apologetic, the greatest virtue.

And everything that follows is from the heart.

It's not merely externals.

This is very, very important to understand.

This is not mere niceness.

Do not misunderstand it.

You can go a long way in this world with a firm handshake, looking people in the eye, smiling at them, and getting your work done on time.

That'll take you a long way in this world.

It feels very basic, but people are looking for that everywhere.

It's hard to find.

Little bit of emotional intelligence, and you'll go even higher.

That's the surface level.

That's not what's being talked about here.

Worldly wisdom borrows the ethic of love without getting to the heart transformation of love.

Seven habits of highly effective people, how to win friends and influence people, helpful common grace resources.

Read those, learn, grow, especially high school college students.

But if you're actually gonna have a heart that is transformed to deep and abiding and genuine love, you're gonna need the gospel of Jesus Christ to get you there.

Genuine love.

Number two.

Gospel-shaped love is fierce.

Gospel-shaped love is fierce.

Paul says, hate what is evil, abhor what is evil.

Like abhor, I don't use all the time.

It means hate.

Cling to what is good.

Let me say this in a different way.

Evil is not merely avoided, but abhorred.

Good is not merely hoped for, but clung to.

Now, if I take you back to the maid of the mist at Niagara Falls, we're going in there, I'm fearing for my life.

I know wrongly fearing for my life, but I'm still afraid.

Do you know what we told our kids?

Get away from the edge, grab the handle, abhor what's evil, cling to what's good.

Does that shape your approach to evil and good in your own life?

Or are you a little more laissez-faire?

Are you fierce towards what God says is evil and what God said is good?

And oh, friends, that God would raise up a generation of men and women who fiercely abhor evil and fiercely cling to what is good.

You have to understand this on the front end.

Godly ferocity will require difficult conversations from you.

There will be people in your life that will cease to cling to the good, they will not abhor evil, and for you to cling to the good and to abhor the evil will require difficult conversations.

And if you are looking to the people in your life for ultimate approval, you'll never have those conversations.

When you have the approval of the Holy God through his Son Jesus Christ, it will liberate you to abhor what is evil, cling to what is good, and enter into difficult conversations.

You must be willing to be disagreeable in a godly way.

And some people are just afraid of disagreement altogether.

They're not abhorring what's evil and clinging to what's good.

And some really run to disagreement.

And they similarly do not cling to what is good and they do not abhor what is evil.

But to do these well in this world will require difficult conversations.

So let's count the cost on the front end.

Third characteristic of gospel-shaped love.

It is affectionate.

Paul calls it brotherly affection in verse 10.

This is a different word for love than what showed up previously.

It's a familial element that is being introduced.

The church is supposed to be a family.

Last week we said that when you commit to other brothers and sisters in a local church, you have a vested interest in their well-being and in their spiritual growth.

That is something we naturally understand in a family context.

We are less apt to see that in a church context.

So let's just think a little bit about what are the affections we feel within a family, because they are diverse.

We should expect that diversity of affections within a church family as well.

There are times in your nuclear family where there are affectionate snuggle times.

There are times in your nuclear family where the affection shows up in a hard cleaning day or a landscaping day.

There are times where those affections show up with s'mores around the bonfire, just enjoying the day together.

There are times where those affections show up differently through discipline and difficult conversations.

All of that we should be expecting in a family, right?

All of that you should expect in a church.

And the problem comes in is when we start to see the church brotherly love in a reduced way, and you start to see the church like the next season of Survivor.

Which I had I had to Google it this week because I didn't know that it was still going on.

Did you know they're still making new seasons of Survivor?

50th one aired last week.

I had no idea.

What does it mean to view the church like Survivor?

Well, it's one day a week, one night a week, we'll gather together as a party.

And if you know the characters are the kind of the way I like, then I'll tune in.

But maybe I'll tune out for a little while because they didn't have the singers I liked this week, or it's the backup preacher, or maybe the yeah, I don't know, the context wasn't my favorite, the programs aren't the best I want, but maybe next week or next month or next season I'll tune back in.

Super common view of the church in America.

Totally unbiblical.

Right in the New Testament, what we'll find are there are no free agent Christians.

Nobody's floating around without this deep familial connection to a local church.

It's a deep and abiding commitment, far more than a friendly welcome.

Gospel-shaped love is affectionate.

Fourth, gospel-shaped love is competitive.

Paul says, outdo one another in showing honor.

I didn't know Pastor Austin was going to talk about running this morning, but there are very few places in the Bible that talk in competitive terms, but this is one of them.

Outdo one another in showing honor.

Paul doesn't merely say show honor, he says, outdo one another in showing honor.

I recall that my first year as a teacher at the high school level, our principal got together with our staff meetings and he did this thing, he called it triple P.

We were gonna give public personal praise.

That's three P's.

Public personal praise.

And so, hey, look at your teachers.

Where can you give a public personal praise to those people?

In the first couple weeks, you know what happened?

We had nothing.

Not because there were not praiseworthy things happening, but because it took us a few minutes to reorient and look out and see what others were doing.

Genuine love sees what others are doing and says, I want to outdo one another in showing honor.

In Bible Institute, once or twice a year, we do what we call an honor session here at Parkside, where we just say, Men, we're gonna gather around, we're gonna look at each other, we're gonna honor you.

Say, I see the grace of God in your life in this way.

Look, when you seek to honor someone, you gotta watch out for a few ditches.

Maybe some of these are coming to your mind right away.

You gotta make sure this is not flattery, this is not manipulation, this is not me fishing for compliments.

Oh, you look like you've been losing weight.

I hope you'll ask me if I've been losing weight.

Yeah, that cut all that.

That's not what we're talking about here, right?

Um, I want to try and model this one time.

I I am really privileged this morning that my youth pastor is here with us this morning.

His name is Brian Wagner.

He's a pastor in Texas now.

Brian shares, great to have you.

Um yeah.

No, Brian, I want to honor you seriously.

I see the grace of God in your life because you invested in me and dozens of other students when we were immature, kind of stupid, doing foolish stuff, and it made your life harder because on a 30-day view, it was not gonna help the ministry.

But on a 30-year view, God has used your investment, and I am so thankful for you, brother.

I want to honor you.

Keep going.

You're doing great.

Now, look, here's the deal.

When you when you give that, I want to hopefully you see what I did, you're gonna look somebody in the eye and you're gonna speak clearly, and then you're gonna shut up.

Right?

Don't keep talking for too long.

It gets weird, it gets awkward.

Look them in the eye, shake their hand with a firm handshake, say what you have to say, say, I want to honor you, I see God's grace in your life, say it, and then keep going.

And on a broader scale than merely like conversation level here, there's a way of honoring others, outdoing one another and showing honor that we as a whole church can embody because there are people within our culture made in the image of God that are not honored as being made in the image of God.

And as a church, it is our collective responsibility to honor them as well.

Those who are still in the womb that are not honored appropriately outdo one another in showing honor.

Those who are elderly, not honored as such by many in our culture, outdo one another in showing honor.

Immigrants, not honored by many, outdo one another in showing honor.

Those with mental and physical handicaps, not honored by many in our culture, outdo one another in showing honor because you're made in the image of God and worthy of all dignity, honor, and respect.

So we're competitive.

Yeah, I'm gonna outdo one another in showing honor.

Fifth characteristic of gospel-shaped love.

It's fervent.

Real simple, what does it mean to have gospel-shaped love?

You don't get off the gas.

We're zealous, we're fervent.

Sometimes this is hard for us in our culture.

I read a book a few years ago that actually helped me.

It was a good book.

It was called The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry.

But one of my fears is that a culture, we've embraced the ruthless elimination of hard work.

We're really good at getting our foot off the gas.

And there is an appropriate time to step back and rest.

It is appropriate that we sabbath once a week.

I do think it's a good thing to practice sabbatical, right?

So, how do we blend those two together?

I was helped by a book called Zeal Without Burnout by Chris Ash.

It's like 110 pages, really quick read.

Um, but the idea here in this passage is you're being provoked, maybe by the Holy Spirit, maybe by your own spirit.

It's a little bit tough to figure out exactly what that word spirit means there.

But however you're provoked, whether by the Holy Spirit or by your spirit, be fervent, be zealous, don't be slothful, put laziness to death.

There's a song that my wife taught her elementary volleyball team.

And we've embraced it in the cookhouse because sometimes we lack fervency and zealousness to do the things we're supposed to do.

And it goes, Colossians 3:23 says, Do it heartily, as unto the Lord, and not as unto men.

Colossians 3:23

Real simple.

Do it heartily, as unto the Lord, not as unto men.

Whatever it is that you're doing, you're zealous in it, you're fervent in it.

Men, let me ask you a question here.

Who is gonna raise the bar on zealous, fervent love in your home?

Who's gonna do it?

Somebody has to.

The world is not gonna move you in that direction.

It will take intentionality.

That's where you lead.

I'm gonna raise the bar.

Here's what it means to be fervent.

Here's what it means to be zealous.

Here's what it means to not be slothful.

Philippians chapter 2, verse 5.

Philippians 2:5

We read a minute ago in the middle of the singing.

The NIV, I love how the NIV sets this up.

It says this in your relationships with one another, have the same mindset of Christ Jesus.

Zealous love, fervent love.

And what's it say at the end of verse 11?

What's like the last phrase of verse 11 in Romans 12?

Look back at it.

What's it say?

Serve the Lord.

In other words, you're not serving the fellow man.

If there's anybody worthy of being full throttle for, completely poured out for, rejecting all slothfulness for, it's him.

You're serving him in all of these ways.

And the early church to whom this was written, they got fervency.

The early church in Rome, they practiced what was called baby runs.

You see, mist mistreatment of the pre-born or the recently born is not a new thing in our culture.

What used to happen in Rome is if you didn't want a child, you just set it out on the front porch at night and you leave it there through the night.

And then the sanitation people would come through in the morning, and any babies would just be tossed into the trash.

And the early church said, we're gonna combine outdoing one another with fervency, and we're gonna go on nightly baby runs, and they're gonna walk the streets of Rome and they're gonna get choked up.

They're gonna listen, they're gonna hear the cries of the infants, say we will be zealous, we'll be fervent, we'll not be swathful, because we're serving the Lord as we serve these children.

Oh, that God would raise up a generation that's fervent to serve him and to love deeply and genuinely and well.

Sixth characteristic of gospel-shaped love.

Optimistic realism.

That's a mouthful.

I want to slow down on this one a little bit, because this landed pretty hard on me this week, if I'm being honest.

Here's what Paul says: he says, rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation.

So there's an optimism in the difficulty.

But it's real about the difficulty.

Here's how this is gospel shaped.

You deeply believe that the best is yet to come, that your present circumstances are not the final word.

That if Jesus rose from the dead, then everything is going to be okay.

I might see it in my lifetime, I might not see it in my lifetime, but the best is yet to come.

And so I can be realistic about where I find myself and optimistic about where we're going, so that Jesus in John 16 will look out and says, In this world you will have tribulation, but take heart, because I have overcome the world.

Let's go.

Adults, listen to me here.

This is really big for you to give to the kids.

One of the greatest gifts you can give to the next generation is a firm conviction deep in your bones that the best is yet to come.

Because the older you get, the easier it is to see what's going wrong in the world.

It's easier to be gripped by fear.

It's harder to embrace hope.

Like sometimes I hear people say, that's never been harder to raise kids than it is today.

Don't say that.

That's not true.

Imagine raising kids in ancient Egypt, where the government was sending assassins to your home to try and kill them.

Imagine raising kids in ancient Rome where homosexual sex acts on the street were a normative thing for your kids to walk past on the way to school.

Imagine raising kids in ancient Babylon where fill in the blank.

Is raising kids today super hard?

You bet it is.

Nobody knows what's happening with AI.

Like, let's not kid ourselves, but it's not harder now than it's ever been.

It's always been hard.

And the grace of God is not constrained by a cultural moment.

And so one of the gifts you can give your kids is this firm conviction of optimistic realism that the best is yet to come.

I've been deeply compelled the last few weeks by a series of interviews by Senator Ben Sass that have been floating around.

How many of you have seen any of those?

A few of you?

Guys, I'm gonna encourage you, you need to check this out.

He's been interviewed, 60 Minutes interview a week or two ago was all right.

Uh the one about three or four weeks ago in the New York Times with Ross Duthit.

Uh, if you're a podcast guy, the name of the podcast is Interesting Times.

Senator Sass was a senator from Nebraska.

He's a good Christian man.

53 years old, diagnosed with stage four cancer, given three to four months to live.

And here he is on 60 minutes, like 10 days ago, and he says, Yeah, we all kind of know we're dying, except now I'm on the clock.

And so it's kind of like a blessing in a lot of ways, because now people think I have wisdom and I have this opportunity to say things.

Like, I'm no wiser than I was before my, you know, condition became known.

And it's like, who thinks this way?

Someone with the firm conviction the best is yet to come.

May that be true of us today.

You say, Justin, I don't know that I can do that.

Well, it's a good thing Paul was aware of that because look at the end of verse 12.

What's the last phrase?

Be constant in prayer.

I think Paul says that because when we don't take our fears to the Lord, we're gonna dump them on others.

How do you want to have an optimistic realism?

Take your fears to the Lord, and as you do that, you'll see that the best is yet to come, whether or not I get to see it in my lifetime, and I can give to the next generation a firm conviction that Jesus is still at work and his grace is not constrained by a cultural moment.

Number seven.

Generous.

Gospel-shaped love is generous.

Paul says in verse 13, contribute to the needs of the saints.

Here we're thinking in the church, and seek to show hospitality.

Many times in the Bible that's referring to outsiders, sometimes to insiders.

I think this time it's probably more outsiders, so he's saying, be generous to the people in your life, both in and outside the church.

Park said, we use the language of using your time, talent, and treasure to bless others and advance the kingdom.

Right?

This is referring to an all seven days kind of thing, not just what happens on Sunday.

In fact, in just a few chapters, Paul will come back to this, Romans 15, 7, and says, welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you to the glory of God.

That's what it is to be hospitable, to welcome others in, shaped by the gospel.

How did Christ welcome you when you were undeserving, unworthy, still fumbling everywhere?

And God is glorified when you do that.

You know, the Rome Church had modeled this beautifully.

In fact, it was a great frustration to the local government.

The uh one of the emperors, his name was Julian.

They called him Julian the Apostate.

That's not good.

He was not friendly towards the Christians, but what he couldn't get past was how generous they were to one another and to the watching world.

And he wrote a letter to one of his governors.

It's absolutely amazing to hear what they said.

Check this out.

This is what the emperor says.

It is disgraceful that when no Jew ever has to beg, and the impious Galileans, that's the Christians, he calls them the impious Galileans, support not only their own poor, but ours as well.

All men see our people lack aid from us.

When they help inside the church, and when they help outside the church, it is disgraceful.

Because they see that the church is better at doing what the church is supposed to do.

And they're living generously.

Park said, I want to commend you in this way.

I see you excel in so many different ways.

I hear anecdotally stories that I can't exactly share from the pulpit and you wouldn't want me to because you're trying to be anonymous.

Praise God for that.

I see your faithful giving week after week after week, so that we can seek to bless our community well beyond these walls, that 20% of the money's coming in are going outside our walls to help bless this community.

We're working on crafting a budget right now.

We'll give it to you in like a month that has us doubling the amount of money from last year to the next year going towards local outreach.

And it's because you're regularly generous, giving faithfully.

Thank you.

Stay at it.

We are stronger together than we are independently of one another.

And it'd be good for us to keep evaluating.

Like if I want to know what's really important to me, look at my calendar and my finances.

Those two things tell me what level of generosity I have within the church and around the community.

Let's plan to be generous.

Let's plan to grow in generosity.

Let's not let our giving be out of sight, out of mind, because it's on the automated stuff online.

Let's stay at this together.

What are the characteristics of gospel-shaped love?

The seventh one is generous.

Now, after the seventh one, the passage shifts a little bit.

So we're kind of gonna go around the bend together.

And here's what happens.

If you read it, the next five are all about what happens as a loving person.

How do I show up in the midst of hardship?

Because hardship often reveals what's really underneath, right?

Like you often don't know the spiritual maturity of somebody until they don't get their way.

And then you find out.

Or you go through a really dark trial, and you're like, oh, uh the fire is revealing what's at the core.

And so these last five are more focused on the hardship side of things.

How does gospel-shaped love respond to hardship?

Or to put it differently, if love is the mark of maturity, how does it show up in difficulty?

All right, so number eight, in gracious words.

How does gospel-shaped love respond to hardship?

With gracious words.

Now there's a clear shift in tone.

I've talked about that a little bit.

He's talking about facing opposition.

And if you want to know how to be radically counter-cultural in this world, bless those who bless you, bless those who persecute you.

Bless and do not curse them.

Listen, we should not be surprised.

Sometimes we are surprised, but we should not be surprised that living in a world that is hostile to God ends up having a world that is hostile to God.

Right?

Sometimes that surprises us.

It ought not surprise us.

Notice the specific call.

Paul does not say tolerate hostile people in a hostile culture.

Nope, not what he says.

He says, bless them.

You say, How do I bless them?

Listen to me, guys.

You can curse the people around you out loud, or you can curse them in your head.

And sometimes, if I don't do it out loud, I feel like I've done all right.

Paul's getting to the heart underneath all of it.

Seek to bless in your thoughts, in your words, in your actions.

You might win them with your blessing.

You might not win them with the blessing.

But let's remember gospel shape.

How did Christ draw you in?

How were you drawn to repentance?

Romans 2, 4, God's kindness is what leads us to repentance.

Therefore, my expectation is that God's kindness, perhaps through me, may lead others to repentance as well.

I bless and I curse, I bless and I do not curse.

Because God showed his love and his kindness when I did not deserve either.

Kids, can I talk to you real specifically here for a minute?

Let me see your eyes.

One of the great ways for you to embody this is when your siblings are complete jerks to you.

I'm serious, it happens.

I was a little kid once.

I was a jerk to my brother and my sister.

You seek to bless them and to not curse them, both in your words and in your actions.

And you understand in my head I can think about cursing them.

And I'm gonna reject that.

And we're gonna recognize that Luke 6, 45, out of the depth of the heart the mouse speaks.

So in these ways, when I'm gripped with angry words, hateful words, bitter words, maybe towards a neighbor, more, maybe towards a sibling, maybe towards a coworker.

When those words come out, generally that's not misspeaking.

Words are never words.

What's down in the well comes up in the bucket.

And I respond to difficulty with gracious words.

How else does gospel-shaped love respond to difficulty with engaged emotions?

This is number nine overall.

Paul says, rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.

There is a broad spectrum of living together.

Sometimes it's joyful, sometimes it's not.

We're going to engage our emotions.

It means to enter the emotional lives of those around you, whether in celebration or in distress, I recognize I'm not at the center.

And there's a godly version of empathy that requires us to engage our emotions.

Men, this might be more difficult for you at various points, but recognize Jesus wept.

He was angry over injustice.

He was sorrowful in his prayers for Peter.

I've heard there was an entire book called The Emotional Life of Our Lord.

Jesus was not afraid to engage emotionally with others, neither should you.

But there's also a sinful version of empathy that is rampant in our world, where engaging emotionally, called empathy, is untethered from the truth.

And you enter someone's emotional world and become governed by their emotions, or governed by your own emotions.

And so we must embrace the godly version of empathy and reject the sinful version of empathy, recognizing God says, rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep, and in difficulty, engage emotions is what love looks like.

Next one, humble actions.

How does the gospel, how does gospel shape love respond to hardship?

With humble actions.

Now here in verse 16 is where he starts out, he says, live in harmony with one another.

How do I live in harmony with one another?

Well, you think of a puzzle you've done, maybe, you know, during the winter it's kind of puzzle season, right?

And there's like this last one piece you're trying to find, and the whole thing can't go together.

What's the missing piece for harmonious relationships?

Humility.

Keep bumping into each other, keep stubbing our toes, not working out.

What's the missing piece for harmony?

Humility.

Let's read the rest of this section together.

Live in harmony with one another.

Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly.

Never be wise in your own sight.

Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.

If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

Real simply, harmony increases where humility reigns.

And where pride abounds, harmony flees.

For the church at Rome, this was likely an ethnic difficulty.

Right?

The beginning of the series, we talked about Gentile dominant, Jews coming back into the city.

And if you've spent any time around different ethnicities, different cultures, they just do things different.

I remember one of my best friends in college, our basketball team, African-American brother, and he goes, Man, you white people are just so weird.

I thought I was doing the most normal stuff in the world.

I mean, maybe I was just the weird one, but but culturally, people just do things different, right?

And you can have a spirit of curiosity, like, oh, that's interesting.

Tell me more about it.

I've not ever seen it done that way.

Or you can rush to a spirit of condemnation.

That's so stupid.

Why would you guys do it that way?

That's the difference between humility and pride.

And one of the quickest ways to ruin a group, like you want it, you want to know how to ruin your community group, ruin a Sunday school class, ruin a mission trip, ruin any group you're on, be a know-it-all.

Like you've been in one of those groups where there's one or two of those people and it's just the worst.

Please get me out of here.

I'll take a bad grade on the project.

Doesn't even matter.

This is so ugly.

Humble actions.

And one of the risks here is you bump into someone who's really wrong in a situation.

And you're like, Justin, it's not surface level.

I'm not supposed to repay evil for evil.

But what happens when I find something that's really wrong?

You're gonna have to trust it to the faithful judge.

You're gonna need to confront it.

You're gonna need to talk about it.

But generally speaking, when I try to take matters into my own hand, it just doesn't go so well.

I heard a story recently about a couple in counseling, and um husband-wife are not getting along very well, and uh they're trying to figure things out, and the wife tells the husband, he says, Yeah, what I just realized is when you do something really, really annoying, I just go and I start cleaning the bathroom, and all of a sudden it feels way better.

And she he goes, Really?

It helps.

He goes, she goes, Yeah, because I clean I clean the toilet with your toothbrush.

You see, sometimes it makes you feel better to try and take it into your own hands, but it's not the best way forward.

You're supposed to take inaction, grin and bear it, do nothing?

No, no, no.

Consider what is honorable in the sight of all.

That's what Paul says, right?

Consider what is honorable in the sight of all.

So take action, not inaction, in kindness, self-control, truth, non-retaliation, seeking peace.

Is peace always gonna be possible?

No way.

Right?

As far as it depends upon you, live peaceably with all.

Some of you need to recognize peace may not be possible in this situation, but I'm giving it my best.

I'm gonna trust it to the Lord, which leads to number 11, trust the judge.

How does gospel-shaped love respond to hardship?

It trusts the judge.

Verse 19, beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.

Look, there's a temptation to say, oh, I don't get mad, I just get even.

That's not the way of Christ.

And next week in Romans 13, we'll talk about the government.

There are certain things where we entrust to the civil magistrate for vengeance.

There are some things that wait till eternity for vengeance from the Lord.

In the meantime, there's a necessary place to report things to the authorities, report abuse to the authorities.

Don't stay in that abusive relationship.

But also recognize vengeance is not yours.

Vengeance belongs to the Lord.

God is the best judge, and vengeance is his jurisdiction.

I heard another story, I don't mean to pick on couples and couples counseling, but this one's too good not to share.

The guy says, uh the wife says, My husband's always messing with my stuff.

And uh he won't stop, and it just drives me crazy, and he knows when we're talking about for years and he won't stop.

And uh so she's she's getting her dress put on and she needs help getting zipped up in the back, and she zips it up, and then he zips it back down, zips it up, and zips it back down, and she's like, Stop! So um so the next day she comes home and she sees him in the garage, laying under the car, fiddling with something, and she says, Oh, okay, I'll give him a taste of his own medicine.

So she reaches under, grabs the zipper on his pants, zip, zip, zip, zip.

How do you like this, buddy?

Zip, zip.

And uh, she walks up into the house feeling real good about herself.

Like, yeah, I send a message to him, and uh she walks in and she's shocked to see her husband standing right there.

She's what are you doing here?

Yeah, we had a little issue with the car.

I asked the neighbor to come help out.

Why?

Listen, vengeance is God's jurisdiction, and in the moment it so often feels right and appropriate for us to get in and be like, I'm gonna take care of this.

Trusting God is hard sometimes, though, isn't it?

We say to our kids, guys, trust me on this.

I'm I'm taking care of your sibling.

I see things you don't, I'm punishing them in ways you don't see.

And God, like a good father, is saying, I'm taking care of things that you don't see.

I know it's hard to trust because you don't get to see how I'm gonna take care of it.

But as a good father, he will.

And we recognize that all evil will be judged in the last day, and none will survive.

The question is whether it's judged by Jesus on the cross absorbing it for you or whether you've rejected his atoning sacrifice and you will face the judgment call yourself on behalf of.

Your own evil.

It has been paid for.

It will be judged.

Trust the good judge.

Final way we respond.

Victoriously.

How does gospel shape love respond to hardship?

It responds victoriously.

Don't be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

You see, there's a recognition that there's two battles going on.

On the one hand, I see the battle out there, the evil out there.

That's what's got me all up in arms.

But at the exact same time, there's the evil in here.

And the evil out there can cause the evil in here to grow when I respond wrongly to the evil out there.

Right?

You gotta recognize that.

And I remember the gospel.

That Jesus looked on the evil out there.

He conquered the evil out there so that you would conquer the evil in here.

Victory is really possible.

The cross proves he will judge.

The resurrection proves there's hope.

And if the grave is empty, then anything is possible.

And you keep looking to the cross and looking to the empty tomb and looking to Christ, seated at the right hand of the throne of God, who right now is interceding for you in the midst of this fierce difficulty.

And by looking to him, you are more than a conqueror through him who loved us.

You remember the gospel.

Now look, we get to the end of this passage.

It's a big list.

There's a lot to look at.

There's a lot to celebrate.

We're saying, I see this going well.

And there's a lot that kind of convicts and pricks the spirit, isn't there?

Like, oh, that's a lot.

It's kind of like going to Niagara Falls and trying to describe all of it in 20 seconds.

And what's supposed to happen is as you go to Niagara Falls as a kid, a teenager, an adult, a grandparent, each time you grow in more wonder and appreciation, you come back to this passage and you say, love is the mark of maturity.

I will pray through this list, phrase by phrase, one at a time, asking the Lord to work this in my own heart.

Love is the highest command, it's the highest apologetic, it's the highest virtue, it's all of them.

They're all fulfilled in Christ, they're all fueled by Christ.

But Parks, just imagine, as you embody this, just 1% more this week, the impact that will be at your workplace tomorrow.

And imagine embodying this 2% more, the impact on your family this afternoon.

As a church bodies, we embody this a little bit more this summer.

That will cause the gospel to go forward in Brownsburg.

It's a beautiful thing, and that's why Jesus says, all will know you by your love.

And he will conquer.

May it ever be so in our lives, in our church, and in our community.

Lord Jesus, we need your help.

We desperately need your help to produce in ourselves what we could not produce on our own, to shape us to look more like you, to love deeply and genuinely, to love fiercely and affectionately and fervently and competitively and generously and all the rest.

These things are too mighty for us, but they're not too mighty for you.

We thank you, Jesus, that you were the perfect example of love, and we ask that you would transform our hearts today.

We pray it in Jesus' name, amen.

As we prepare for the Lord's Supper, could there be a more perfect embodiment of gospel-shaped love?

There could not.

So remember the cross.

Remember the shed blood.

Remember the broken body.

And as you take your imperfect expression of love, bring that imperfect expression to the cross.

Open your hands to Christ, look to his example, and ask for his help.

If you're newer with us, the way we observe the Lord's Supper here at Parksid, it's a weekly remembrance because we believe you always are going back to the gospel, at least you should be, every single week.

Any is welcome to participate if you've trusted the Lord Jesus as your Savior and followed him in believers' baptism.

You're in good standing at your local church, great.

We invite you to participate, whether or not you're a member here.

So we'll take a few minutes of silence and reflection because it's a loud world, it's a noisy, busy world.

And just a little bit of time to slow down and hear from God, we think is a good thing.

So take this time, and Pastor Austin will come and lead in the elements.