When I Kept Silence - Levi Baer

Bring you Christian greetings this morning. I appreciate the way the Sunday School class

and what Leland shared here, how they tie in with what I would like

to consider here this morning. Recently I read a book about the called It's

Castle. It was called in Germany, and probably some of you that are

historians know a bit about that. It would have been a castle there that

was used as a maximum security prison in World War II. And so during

World War II, many of the Allied officers that were obviously against Germany and

Hitler, when they were captured, they were brought to this castle and it

was used as a prison for about five years. And this would have started

and I believe nineteen thirty nine, possibly through nineteen forty five. And it's

a very interesting situation there deplorable conditions in this castle. Many of the people,

many of the men there, were really close to starving to death a

lot of the time that they were there, just where they could barely hang

on hardly enough food and hardly enough clean water. But they were because of

some of the rules that were in place. There was some things that that

they did, they had to be taken care of up to a certain point.

So most of them lived through this. If they were too sick or

they needed to go to the dentist, there was ways that were figured out

to alleviate the situation. But one of the biggest storylines of this of this

prison was the ones that tried to escape. That's what if you read about

that at all, that's one of the first things you're going to see is

that it was just full of these men that were trying to escape, probably

with the thought of Hitler, you know, in his war machines at some

point coming there and executing them or whatever he would do. They obviously didn't

trust him, and not knowing how long they were going to be there,

there was no it didn't look like a very bright future for them at all.

And so during that five years one hundred and thirty two, I believe

it was of these POWs tried to escape, and many of them actually got

out of the prison. And because of where this setting was, it was

a long ways to friendly territory, and that's why it worked so well as

a pow prison, and so many of these men actually got out. They

got over the fence, they dug tunnels, they did they work for months

figuring out ways and planning, and part of that was to keep their sanity,

gave them something to do. But many of them were very serious about

escaping. So among the one hundred and thirty that escaped, only thirty of

these men actually made it to freedom and stayed free, thirty out of one

hundred and thirty. So the odds were definitely against them. And most of

the time death was not the penalty. They would just go bring them back

in again, put them in solitary confinement for a while, and then they

would go back right back to life in prison again. And as I thought

about that in relation to thinking about bondage, the bondage that we have in

the world today, people that are just many of them don't even realize it,

but just in bondage to send in bondage to living for self, whatever

it is. And so what I would like to think about here today is

the subject of repentance and how repentance is the key to freedom in our life.

Now. We talked about many different aspects of the Christian life here ready

today. We talked about truth, you know, being so foundational, We

talked about love, but really none of these things until we repent of our

sins. Before a high and Holy God. These things really don't even come

into play. We can't love write when we're not repentant. We can't.

We don't know what truth is. We're confused, and so we try to

escape, like these men out of this prison at the cald It's Castle.

We try to escape, and we maybe get a little ways down the road,

and somehow we get snagged again and we're brought back under bondage again,

and this happens over and over again, and it was I think it was

very hard for the morale of these prisoners to see someone that might have been

been gone for up to a week or more, and they would have thought,

well, we haven't heard from him. Maybe they escaped for good,

and sure enough they would get one day here, they would come back in

again and get put in solitary confinement. And sometimes that's the way we are,

That's the way I am sometimes with just the many things that the devil

brings to us, so many traps, the different prisons that we have,

and some of these things change as times change. I'd like to look at

a man from the Bible, from the Old Testament. Here, King David,

if you want to turn in your Bibles to Second Samuel chapter twelve,

and i'd like to I'd like to get a lesson from David here if we

can, and just to see ourselves in relation to this thing of repentance.

Maybe while you're turning there, What does repentance mean to you? When you

think of that word, repentance means to turn or return, It means to

change our mind. And along with that there must be regret and remorse.

There'll be more on that later. The title here is when I kept silence,

and you'll know where that comes from here shortly so here we have the

story, very familiar story here in Second Samuel eleven, just prior to twelve.

Here the story of King David and Bethsheba. And as you think about

this story, here a man after God's own heart, and so he created.

We're not going to go through this story. We know what happened,

We know the sin that David committed, and we know what David's response was

for a time after he committed this sin. And I think that the natural

sequel to sin for us as man is to run and hide. It's not

to repent. That's never the natural tendency. If you think about the story

in Genesis of Adam and Eve. When Adam came to the realization that he

sinned against God, everything was so wonderful, so perfect in that garden.

And when he came to that realization, what did he say. Did he

immediately cry out to God and ask for forgiveness? No, what did they

do? It said, when they've seen God walking in the garden in the

cool of the day, they ran and hid themselves. That is our natural

tendency to run and hide. So here we have in chapter twelve of Tewod

Samuel. It's called Nathan's parable. Hear the prophet Nathan. After this sin

was committed by David, the Lord, said Nathan. It says in verse

one, unto David, and he came unto him and said, unto him.

There were two men in one city, the one rich and the other

poor. And I'll just stop there for a minute. In that parable.

So here in this setting, if you look at the very last verse of

chapter or yeah, chapter eleven, it says, and when the morning was

pasted, David sent and fetched her to his house, and she became his

wife and bare him his son. But the thing that David had done displeased

the Lord actually somewhere. Yes, So so here it says that Bathsheba bared

a son, she had this baby. And just now in chapter twelve,

the word of the Lord through a prophet comes to David here. So it

was at least nine months later that the word of God came to David here,

at least nine months. We know that what was David doing that in

those nine months? At least, what was he doing in those long months

of was he was he confessing to God? Was he repentant? He didn't

do anything? He covered it up all that time. There was no response

that we have recorded. If you hold your place there and turned to Psalm

chapter thirty two. This, this chapter here speaks to what David was going

through in his life during that time. Verse one of Psalm thirty two it

says, Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.

Blessed is a man unto whom the Lord imputeth not iniquity, and whose there

is no guile. When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my

roaring all the day long, for day and night, the hand was heavy

upon me. My moisture has turned into the drought. Of summer Seala.

I'll stop right there for now Here, David gives us a glimpse into those

long months of hiding this sin. Here in verse three, it says when

I kept silence. He's referring to that time, and he says, my

bones waxed old. It's just a miserable picture of what David was going through

in whatever it was that was keeping him from coming out with his terrible sin.

And I'm sure it would have been hard. We'll get to the pride

factor of repentance here shortly. But you think of David, a man that

lived in a castle. He had during this time. He lived in a

castle. He had all the privileges that a man could want. He had

money, he had the wife that he wanted, the latest and fastest chariots.

But his bones waxed old. There was still problems. It says,

for day and night, the hand was heavy upon me. He felt the

hand of God on him, but he did not respond, at least not

yet. You know, sometimes when we're hiding sin, I should say always,

when we hide sin, it proves to be a very miserable situation.

And it's the same here with David. In verse four, it says,

my moisture is turned into the drought of summer. He didn't have any energy

left. He didn't have energy to I don't know how many battles he fought

in during this timeframe, but it he had a lot of great battles up

until this time, when he was walking with God in the way that he

should. But now things were not looking very good. Verse five of chapter

thirty two, it says, I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and my

iniquity have not hid? Have I not hid? I said, I will

confess my transgressions unto the Lord, and now forgave us the iniquity of my

sin. Here David is telling the rest of the story of how he went

through this terrible time. But David was a man after God's own heart.

Now, if you turn back to chapter twelve of Second Samuel, let's just

look at this little pair of trouble here for a bit. I'll just read

through some of this here, starting verse one again, unto the Lord,

and the Lord sent unto Nathan unto David, and he came unto him and

said, unto him. There were two men in one city, the one

rich and the other poor. The rich man had exceeding many flocks and herds.

But the poor man had nothing save one little ewe lamb which had bought,

which he had bought and nourished up, and it grew up together with

him and with his children. It did eat of his own meat, and

drank of his own cup, and lay in his bosom, and was unto

him as a daughter. And there came a traveler unto the rich man.

And he spared to take of his own flock and of his own herd to

dress for the wayfaring man that was come unto him, But took the poor

man's lamb and dressed it for the man that was to come come to him.

Noticed verse five. And David's anger was greatly kindled against the man.

And he said to Nathan, as the Lord liveth, the man that hath

done this thing shall surely die, and he shall restore the lamb fourfold,

because he did this thing, and because he had no pity. And Nathan

said to David, thou art the man thus saith the Lord God of Israel,

I anointed thee king over Israel, and I delivered thee out of the

hand of Saul. I gave thee thy master's house, and thy master's wives

into thy bosom, and gave thee the house of Israel, of Judah and

of Judah. And if that had been too little, I would moreover have

given unto these and such things. Wherefore hast thou despised the commandment of the

Lord to do evil in his sight? Thou hast killed Euriah the Hittite with

the sword, and has taken his wife to be thy wife, and has

slain him with the sword of the children of Ammine. Now therefore the sword

shall never depart from thine house, because thou hast despise me and has taken

the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife. Thus saith the Lord,

behold, I will raise up evil against the out of thine own house,

and I will take thy wives before thine eyes and give them unto thy

neighbor, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this son.

For thou didst it secretly. But I will do this thing before all

Israel and before the Sun. And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned

against the Lord. And Nathan said unto him, unto David. The Lord

also hath put away thy sin, thou shalt not die. I'll stop there

for now. So here we have this parable, and you know, in

some ways we can we chuckle when we look through here and think about where

David was at in his life at this time. He was keeping silence,

and this prophet said to him by God, comes to him and brings him

the word of God. And it was a very unfair situation in this parable,

as we can see, the poor man that had the little lamb that

his family had as the family pet, says that the pet or the lamb

would lie in their lap. It was obviously in their house with them and

the poor and the rich man that had many lambs to choose from, they

go and take this little pet away from this poor family. And the natural

reaction is, like David here says, David's anger was greatly kindled against that

man. He was somewhat deceived by the appearance here. And and David meets

out a judgment here that was over what the law would even require in this

situation, and he judges this man with death. That man should die because

of that. If you think about that, that's a pretty strong statement for

a man that just I would say, broke about five out of the ten

commandments. You know there's we'll just go through them quickly. He broke thou

shout out no other gods before thee in a way where he allowed lust overcome

him. That was a god to him, or he wouldn't have failed.

Murder Number two three is adultery committed adultery. Number four he lied. Number

five he coveted his neighbor's wife. This a man after God's own heart?

How did he fall from such a great warrior who won many battles, won

them with God by his side. I believe this morning that there's a difference

between someone who never knew the Lord than someone who never really loved the Lord,

then someone who like David, was a man after God's own heart.

I think people that never know the Lord in a real way, when they

fall into sin, they don't really miss him when he's gone. They never

had him. That's where it becomes a job of people that have repented,

that have truth or to share. But when someone knows the Lord and falls

in to sin, they have an attitude of repentance. They know something's missing.

They don't have peace and joy in their life because they experienced it at

one time, they know how it feels, but they will never experience it

again until they find repentance. It's very typical of a man that is in

sin, has sin in his life that he hasn't repented of. It's very

typical to judge others harshly, and that's exactly what David did here. The

judgments of sinners are harsh. They're harsher than God's judgments in some way,

because God gives us a way back, He gives us a way back,

He has mercy on us. Admitting that we sinned is not repenting. You

know that. You think of King Saul, you think of Judas, two

men that admitted that we sinned, and but they go out as if nothing

has happened. Judas went on to commit suicide. One other thing I'd like

to think about here, and that how that is how the word of God

through the prophet Nathan, had the power to bring David to repentance and to

see himself. And sometimes it feels today like at least for me, that

maybe we question the power of the word of God and bringing souls to the

light. Maybe the problem is our hearts that we haven't repented in the way

that we should. We can't share what we don't have, and David was

more than happy to hear this case from the prophet Nathan. You know how

it is with us. Sometimes we like to hear stories of other people and

their struggles, but not for ourselves, and sometimes we miss the point.

So the first there's three things I'd like to notice here. I mentioned the

word of God and its power to reform lives. That's the first one.

The second thing is the principle of the word of God that brings discipline to

the life of a man. Brings discipline, It brings a discipline to think

see ourselves for what we really are. In Glatians six, verse seven,

the familiar verse, be not deceived. God is not mocked. For whatsoever

a man soeth, that shall be also reap. The word of God gives

us a discipline to think about them, kind of those words and realize it's

actually the way it is. God will not be mocked, and there will

be reaping for everything that we sow brings discipline and stability to our lives.

Here in verse twenty of this chapter twelve. Here second, Samuel noticed something

about David here after he said, I have sinned. Those are the key

words. In verse twenty, it says, then David arose from the earth

and washed and anointed himself, and changed his apparel and came into the house

of the Lord and worshiped. Then he came to his own house, and

when he required, they set bread before him, and he did eat.

This is after he found out that the child that he and Bethsheba had it

died and his servants couldn't figure this out. They're like, why are you

cleaning up now? Why are you happy now? And David said, well,

when it was, when it was alive, I wasn't sure if it

was going to die or not. But it did die, and now I'm

moving on. That's what the discipline of the Word of God will do.

It allows us to put things where they belong, prioritize them in the correct

way, and move on. The third one is the promise of God's word,

the promise. There's a promise right here. In Verse thirteen says and

David said, unto Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord. And Nathan

said, unto David, the Lord also hath put away thy sin. Thou

shalt not die, only after David said the words that are so hard for

us to say, I have sinned, he was vindicated right then and there

he was just a immediately the picture changes, and you're not gonna die,

David. The reason that we chafe and are miserable when we have things in

our life that do not line up with the word of God, when wrong

choices cause the chafing in our life, I believe it's because God loves us

dearly. He loves us dearly, and he has a work for each one

of us, but he cannot use us when we have unrepentant hearts. You

know, we hear from time to time that we wish we had more revival,

we need revival, and that's true, but there never will be revival

without repentant people in the pews. Does that mean that maybe you're sitting here

thinking, well, I came to worship here this morning, and everything's just

fine as far as I know, everything's right between me and God and man.

And that's very well could be. But I believe that if we're honest

with ourselves, that this thing of repentance is going to be a way of

life with us as Christians. It's not a one time, repent and go

on our way. No revival without repentance. And maybe sometimes we get confession

and repentance confused. And you know this thing of what does confessing mean.

It means to simply say what David said. It's the right thing to do,

to say I have sinned, to say what I have done to sin,

But it's still not repentance. Repentance means to be walking this way and

turn around and walk straight this way and not to the side or halfway turned

around. It means a change of mind, change of life. We don't

do the same thing. We walk in a different direction. We were headed

west and now we're headed east. I think I mentioned earlier how repentance is

the key to freedom in the Christian life, and without repentance, there is

no Christian life, is the reality of it. If you want to turn

to Luke thirteen, like to notice something there Luke the thirteenth chapter, here

we have this little story here of says there were president at that season some

that told him of the Galileans talking of Jesus, whose blood pilot had mingled

with their sacrifices, and Jesus answering, said unto them, And then he

goes on. These men are trying to figure out what these men did,

the Galileans and the people that were crushed by the Tower of Saloam. They're

arguing among themselves and asking Jesus what happened here? Who did this great sin?

That this thing happened? And you notice in verse five, Jesus says,

I tell you. He stops him there and says, wait a minute,

it wasn't none of them. That's sin. That's not the problem here.

You need to look at your own heart. You need to look at

your own self and realize that if you don't repent, doesn't matter what happened

to these people. If you don't repent, you're gonna die the same way.

You shall all likewise perish. You know them words right there, Except

you repent, you'll perish. Should be enough for any one of us to

think deeply about repentance, the words of Jesus. And I think the idea

here too, that Jesus was trying to get across to these men is that

a little bit like King David did there. In second Samuels can't believe that

this rich man would come take a lamb from a poor person and he's just

all caught up in that, and he forgot that he just lived for nine

months plus with sin in his life. It's how we do sometimes many times.

You know, the first word of the Gospel of Jesus Christ this morning

is not love. Neither is it grace. It's repentance. Without repentance,

there is no love and there's no grace. The fact that there is grace.

Maybe I said that wrong. The fact that there is grace is the

only thing that allows us to repent. We can't repent without the grace of

God. We could never He has made away. They're tied together. It's

that grace and love of Jesus Christ and his work on Calvary that gives us

the avenue to repentance. What if we couldn't repent? You know, the

Bible mentions that God will not always strive with man. There could be a

day where we no longer can repent. Whether we want to or not.

You repent, you shall likewise perish thinking of grace. Here two Corinthians eight

nine says, for ye know that the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ,

that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor. That

ye, through his poverty might be rich. The only way to become rich

through his poverty is by repentance and having a repentant life. You know.

The devil, he would he likes us to be in called it war castle.

He likes us to stay in there. He likes us to stay where

the only fresh air we get is in that little courtyard. I believe it

was maybe fifty by seventy five feet long, I'm not exactly sure on them

numbers. That's where they had their fresh air and their open air, and

they gathered there three times a day. These officers, allied officers, would

line up as the German officers took the role calls three times a day,

and that's where they would find out sometimes that someone was missing, someone had

got over the wall. You know. The devil, I believe, does

a role call on us as well, and he wants us to be in

line in that prison. It takes a godly sorrow for true repentance. And

that is actually a scary thought when you think about that. How do we

get a godly sorrow if that's what it takes. And Second Corinthians seven,

verse nine, Paul says there that they sorrowed to repentance. Sorrow led you

to repentance. That's what he says here. I mentioned briefly earlier, this

thing of you know, pride is the big one here when we think about

repentance. There's one large thing that stands in the way. That is pride.

Pride keeps us from repenting. Do you realize that you can never measure

your pride against anyone in this world, any other human being. It's not

out's measured. It's measured in our relationship with Jesus Christ alone. That is

where we're measured. How much pride we have. You know, in the

world has pride today? I say the world people that do not follow God

do not have a relationship with him. They have pride because they have self

dependence and humility, we know depends on holy depending on who is it ourself,

our church, our leaders, It's on Jesus himself, Jesus Christ,

and he has promised us that his Holy Spirit it will be there for us

if we ask there again, it takes realizing that we do not have the

answer within us. It's not here. Humility is fully depending on God,

and it takes humility to ask sincerely for the Holy Spirit's power in our life.

Because of what it might mean for us, it keeps us from doing

it. Many times. We need to ask the Holy Spirit. He's there

for us, he's our friend, it's a person, he's the third person

in the Trinity. We need to ask him for freedom from sin and mean

what we say we want. We should want to change. We want others

to see a change in us. But we're too proud, and we try

on our own again. And that trying on our own I can relate to

very well, and probably some of you can. It's the first thing we

do when we know something's not right. But we're not willing to lay it

all at the foot of the cross. We're not serious about it still,

and so on our own strength, we say, I am going to change.

I'm going to prove that I'm different. I'm going to show them that

I'm done raising my voice, I'm done being critical of others. I'm going

to change. You know a lot of things, a lot of times them

little things that we go through in our lives, and we're trying to do

this on our own, maybe somewhat privately. They start off looking so sweet,

and you know, we we can convince people for a while that we

actually are a different person. But because it's a deep dependence on our cell,

it will never last. We were headed that way and we turned around

again. We can't do it without the Holy Spirit's power. It's that simple.

As I thought about this subject of or of a repentance here, the

Lord brought things to my mind and to my life that I had to repay,

and he had. He showed me that there were there were things in

my life that mainly in the way of words that I say, that tear

people down. And I'm not saying that it's not good to acknowledge things for

what they are. We don't need to apologize. It doesn't help to act

like there's no problems when there's not, but just things that do not build

the kingdom, unnecessary words, and I'm sorry for that. I would just

like if I if I have any way I've offended anybody here in that way,

I would ask your forgiveness. You know, God is faithful to bring

things to our awareareness if we desire it. Do you have a desire for

that? Repentance must become a way of life, not in a way that

minimizes grace, there's always grace. There's grace enough for you and me.

But when is the last time that you, sincerely on your knees ask the

Holy Spirit to shine his search light to the very depths of your heart.

It takes a being willing to be so vulnerable, and it's not easy to

do. But the thing is, we don't have to do that. We

can get by for the most part. But our fellow employees know where our

heart is, usually our family members, our children. And I've heard bits

and pieces over the years of things that are concerning to me about what worldly

employees have to say about some of us who are fellow employees, and it's

not all good. You know. We may be the only sermon that many

people ever hear. What are we portraying to them? Can they tell that

there's something different? Or is it just that we go to church here on

Sunday and during the week, we're no different than anyone else, just as

quick to brag about our business expeditions or anything that we're involved in. It's

a challenge for me, you know, we really we wound the heart of

Jesus over and over and over when we bear our own burdens. How many

times have I done that? And then we get so down on ourselves when

we bear our own burdens, will never measure up. That's how we feel.

Then we live with the self loathing and fear and anxiety and stress,

and we leave the very key to freedom loft right here in our heart.

In James Versus chapter one, it says, if any man lack wisdom,

let him ask the wisdom to we know what to do, the wisdom to

know where to go, says, let him ask. You know, David

was wise in his response eventually, when the prophet Nathan brought this parable to

him. You know, at first he didn't respond right, but wisdom came

through because he had had a relationship with God, and he simply said,

I have sinned. I don't believe that God is mad at any one of

us here this morning for anything we've ever done, even though it grieves him.

Somehow, we must find a place to stop in the middle of our

problems and say, God, I can't go on without you. I need

you. David found this out later on in Psalms. He penned these words,

if I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me

there's a verse in Psalm one O three says he will not always child,

neither will he keep his anger forever. And that's the thing. Brother Leland,

here in the devotions talked about the end times and the ends that is

coming. It's inevitable, and sometimes I don't believe that we stop and think

about that enough, because Jesus said, if we don't repent, we perish,

and that is into everlasting punishment. Isaiah fifty five says the Lord,

while he may, while he is near, while he may be found,

call upon him when he's near. I hope I didn't say anything that was

incorrect with scripture. If you feel free to correct me in any way that

you see. I just know for me that thinking this thing of repentance,

for me seems so key to being able to reach out to a lost and

dying world as a church, as individuals. Why are we not bringing more

people to the fold. May God bless