Kingdom Values in Courtship and Marriage - Leland Kropf 6-9-2024

Greetings this morning in the name of the King, the King, who is

eternal, immortal, invisible, the only wise God, our savior, and

may he receive all honor and glory by our lives, by our meetings here

today. First of all, thank you to the Quarter Congregation for hosting this

and for all the efforts that go into that, and we thank you for

that. Does feel a little bit like I'm competing with the fan, but

hopefully you can hear. Maybe I have a little problem. My dear wife

says that I talk quieter than I used to, and I'm not sure that's

just part of the whole aging process on her partner mind. But anyway,

we do realize that our bodies aren't probably as sharp as they used to be,

so I think too that I probably the volume that I used to have

isn't there. So again, if you can't hear me, raise your hand.

I know from experience it's not very nice to be sitting there and hardly

hearing what's going on. Appreciated what we heard about the kingdoms, especially Brother

Steve's message of the focus there on the kingdom that is going to prevail,

and I truss this morning, We're happy to be a part of that.

Don't want this thing to get away for me here, So do we counted

the privilege to be a part of a kingdom that we know will be victorious,

is victorious. I'm not sure whether to bring this in right here,

but my thoughts went a little bit too. Three days ago was the eightieth

anniversary of Allied troops landing on Normandy, the beaches of Normandy, and the

commitment. I've seen pictures the landing craft, you know, heading for the

beach, and I see them, probably many of them young men hunkered down

in there and probably knowing it was a good chance they wouldn't and many of

them didn't even reach the beach. I believe there was four thousand some Allied

troops lost that first day, but the commitment that they had. Maybe a

lot of them were there just because Uncle Sam said I want you. But

I think of the cause that they were willing to give their lives for.

And that's all on an earthly sense, worldly kingdoms that are not going to

last. But I think we ought to be challenged this morning that we have

even a greater commitment that we're willing to not only deny ourselves, but to

lay down our lives for the cause. And we're in a world that is

increasingly hostile to the Kingdom of God, the kingdom that will endure, and

they are in direct opposition to each other. And so I'm going to give

just a few thoughts before we get into the more practical things. Here,

just some things that I thought of in relation to the kingdom. And do

we appreciate being a part of this kingdom? Titus Paul writing to Titus and

Titus three three says, for we ourselves were also sometimes foolish, disobedient,

deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful

and hating one another. But after that, the kindness of love and love

of God our Savior toward men up here, a part of the kingdoms of

this world, a part of Satan's kingdom, a part of a kingdom that

is doomed for hell. Just contrasts that with Incautions, Chapter one, verse

twelve, giving thanks unto the Father which hath made us meat or suitable to

be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light, who have delivered us

from the power of darkness, now translated us into the Kingdom of his dear

son, in whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of

sins. Do you see the difference the contrasts there between a part of the

kingdoms of this world, Satan's under Satan's control, versus this glorious kingdom that

brings light and freedom. We know there's many out there, and Peter writes

to that, and tewod Peter chapter two, that there are those that are

out there that promise them liberty, but they themselves are the servants of corruption.

Just contrasting again the two kingdoms, the Kingdom of light, the kingdom

of darkness, the Kingdom of truth, the kingdom of lies and deception,

the Kingdom of freedom, the kingdom of bondage, the Kingdom of holiness,

the kingdom of sin and debauchery. And as we think of courtship and marriage,

like to focus on that here this morning. But our King, the

one who created us, the one who does all things well, is the

designer of marriage and of the home. We know that. We go back

to Genesis the first chapter. There and after God had created everything, it

says that he saw that it was very good, nothing wrong with it,

couldn't be improved on it. But Satan, who had already rebelled and had

a hatred for God and anything that he does, sought to destroy what God

had created and was so very good and so again, coming back to the

two kingdoms, God's design in marriage, particularly here were thinking of love and

sacrifice on the one side. On the other side is selfishness, self centeredness.

On the one side, we have commitment. On the other side we

have a lack of commitment again, which would come back to selfishness. On

the one hand, we have submission. On the other hand, we have

pride, and the results of that are by following God's plan. On this

side there's peace and harmony, and on the other side's chaos, strife,

bitterness, separation. We see so much of that in our society today,

but it's because they're not following the king who designed marriage, and they're following

the dictates to their own flesh and what Satan would like to bring into our

hearts to again destroy the beauty of what God has provided for us. Just

remember that our king is a loving king. He wants what's best for us.

His thoughts to us are of peace and good things. That's what God

desires. I'm not going to apologize for repeating things that were given throughout the

day yesterday, but you will find there is repetition. But I was impressed

with Scripture and Deuteronomy first of all in chapter four, and you know God,

and this was referred to yesterday. But all the laws, the ceremonies,

the things that God had given to his people, I'd like to read

verses seven and eight. For what nation is there so great? Who hath

God so nighn to them as the Lord our God is, and all things

that we call upon him for? And what nation is there so great that

has statutes and judgments so righteous as all this law which I set before you

this day? What nation? What kingdom? Has the King so nigh to

them and has our best interests in mind? In all the the guidelines,

the commands, the principles that He gives us in his word. Turning over

to chapter six and verse twenty four, and the Lord commanded us to do

all these statues, to fear the Lord our God, and catch this for

our good. It's for our good always that He might preserve us alive.

As it is this day, people look at God's kingdom, his laws,

his commands, his restrictions, and they think how restrictive. And that's where

the deception, the bondage of Satan comes in and has found many people because

they think that there's liberty. I can do as I please, I can

thumb my nose at the restrictions and calls the purity and so on. A

new testing unscripture that has impressed me. And it goes right along with this.

But John writes in First John five, verse three, he says,

and his commands are not grievous. So if you think the restrictions, the

commands the laws of God are restrictive and unhandy, and remember, it's for

our good always. God loves us. And I think that it's so evident

when we think of marriage and leading up to marriage. Yes there are restrictions,

Yes there needs to be disciplined, there needs to be restraint, but

do we see that it's for our good always? Satan offers you many short

term pleasures, but it doesn't tell you about the reaping anyway. We need

to move on here. So we've got a lot of young people here this

morning, and maybe you're thinking you're listening up here, you want to I

hope you can listen here for a little bit, and maybe some of the

things I say will sound on the kind of old fashioned archaic, But just

follow along with us here Kingdom values and courtship. So what do we mean

by courtship. Well, we use that term some, but maybe we use

the term dating more frequently. So and as we go through this, we'll

be contrasting some of the world of concepts, concepts that are not wholesome versus

what is in harmony with God's principles. Now, if you look in the

dictionary, what courting means, or courtship would have the thought of endeavoring to

gain affection or to attract, to attempt to to gain that. I don't

think that's exactly what we're talking about. Now. The birds do that.

They talk about different birds. The hummingbird has a courtship procedure that they do

certain ways they fly, and they say it's they're trying to attract the female.

Well, we're not talking about that, but rather, I think it's

more proper for us to think of courtship as a time to evaluate, to

determine the compatibility between a young man young woman, and to just see if

the goals the personalities. The convictions are combative, are excuse me, compatible

for entering into this serious, far reaching consequences of the contract of marriage in

matrimony. So I think you can read into that that it's it's a serious

time, it's a time to be evaluating. Again, in the Bible doesn't

give us a lot of specifics or any specifics about the courting process. Really,

we have the example a lot of times we in relation to this may

think of Abraham providing a wife for his for his son Isaac. And you

know, a different culture, different time, different setting. Probably not too

many here would entrust their dad's hired man to go find a wife for you

would you you'd be a little skeptical of that. But I believe it was

all within the will of God and in their cultural setting. There the burden

that Isaac that Abraham had for his son. And another one that I think

of, maybe referred to in the bed here, would be Samson, who

took his own way. He wondered his parents e cooperate with with him,

but when they tried to correct him or should make another suggest, he said,

get her for she pleases me. Well, and it didn't turn out

well. So we do want to look at some principles could we say that

should guide us in our in the twenty first century here And not everybody,

not even every church group today does it, like where are you to?

And I just talked to him in this past week from a different church group,

and I'm not really critical of it. But his son, I said,

well, we're good friends. I said, I didn't even know your

son was dating. Well, he said, we didn't. I kind of

forgot their procedure, he said, I don't even know. We didn't know

it till Tuesday, and they're getting married. Then a bog in the July.

But they go through the ministry and her ministry back there, and but

it was kind of a beautiful thing the way it was described, what it

appeared like, and what the parents felt good about is that God was directing

in this. Well, I'm not trying to change our our procedures, except

that the way we do it maybe isn't the only way, and I want

to emphasize that God has to be in it. I'm going to back up

just a bit here. My notes probably weren't in the proper order quite.

I would just like to recognize that God does not call everyone to marriage.

Not everyone is going to have a dating experience, so maybe you feel a

little laughed out. I just want to recognize that fact. And there are

courtships that haven't turned out, and you know, there's different scenarios, but

I'll just sum it up this way. It's better to be in the will

of God single then to be outside to the will of God in marriage.

God gives grace for every calling. And just be faithful where you're at.

Okay, moving on now, in the idea of courtship, here, it

is a normal desire to be married. I believe that's a god given a

god given desire. That natural attraction between a young man and a young woman.

It's natural, and that can start at a very young age. But

we need to remember that there's a proper time, a proper place for courtship

to take place. We can't explain that attraction exactly other than again I will

say I believe it is God given. Even the wise man said, as

he enumerated things that were too wonderful for him to really wrap his mind around,

I think we could say, and that is the way of a man

with a maid. Can't really explain it, so it is a natural desire

to find a partner. Okay, I'd like to look at some things,

and some of this will be on the positive and some of the negative.

But why do we date? Why is there courtship? The title is kingdom

value values, So there must be some in this kingdom that we are a

part of. There are there are values, There are things that we we

think are befitting and compatible with this with this kingdom. Well, I think

I'll just say this that the reason for courtship is to try to find a

life companion. Now, sometimes right at the beginnings, you know, maybe

the young men they're a little sheepish to really really admit that that's yeah,

that's what we're doing. We're looking for for a wife. But that is

that really needs to be the underlying reason. But I will say this that

it doesn't mean that the first date that you're sure this is the one you're

going to marry again. It's a time of evaluation to determine whether the young

man the young woman are compatible for a lifelong, lifelong relationship marriage. Now,

this was discussed yesterday a little and to me it's been somewhat intriguing.

Maybe intriguing, isn't the right word, maybe concerning Maybe I'm getting ahead of

myself here, but maybe the reluctance to begin courtship. I'm not sure what

that all is. There was discussion about why the later marriages, but I'd

like to inject something here as we think of the beginning of courtship and maybe

this maybe you just say this is my idea, but I have witnessed it,

Okay, and I'm going to talk to the rest of us here,

not the couple that's starting courting. But I'll just say, when there's such

a big hullabaloo made about this couple getting together and having their first date,

I fear sometimes that there's such a momentum or put into that by the onlookers

that it almost makes it hard for that couple to really look objectively at what

the purpose of this is for, and maybe even make it hard to terminate

the relationship or the courtship if they feel that it isn't the thing because there's

all this hype about it. Now, I think we all mean it well.

We want them to succeed, and maybe especially if the couple's a little

bit older, we know, wow, you know, this looks like something's

happening here now, if there's a way to encourage there, and we certainly

can pray for them anyway, I thought I would throw that in. I'd

like to just think now about some less than honorable reasons to enter into courtship,

to take that step to ask that girl for a date. Maybe it's

just for the fun of it, just for the fun of it, just

go and have a good time. I was told this has been quite a

number of years ago, after I had preached a message on courtship. I

was told about a situation. It's thousands of miles from here. I think

he's to hear. But a young man or a man had ask a lady

young lady for a date. On their date, he said, do you

know you're the seventy fifth person that I've asked for a day, And she

wisely said, you can just start looking for the seventy sixth one. I

would say that man either was reading the signals wrong or had a wrong concept

of courtship. We're not just doing it for the fun of it, not

just to have a good time. Doesn't really fit with seeking God's will.

Yeah, it seemed like some wrong concepts there. Just dating his friends maybe

we used to hear this more big brother big sister relationships and really probably sets

someone up for some hard hurt feelings. Again, the focus ought to be

on finding a life companion. Dating to help someone else would be another one.

Maybe a boy feels sorry for a girl wants to help her out emotionally

not a good reason. Or maybe the girl's willing to date a boy that

is struggling spiritually and thinks maybe they can help. Not a good reason.

Really is setting someone up for hurt feelings. Maybe another reason is everyone else

is doing it, so we don't want to feel left out. We just

gotta we've gotta get something going again, seek God's will. I would say

that as we're comparing this with the kingdoms of this world, a lot of

the dating I think would come under just having a good time, sensuality,

immorality a lot of times would be what the individuals are looking at. But

let's remember in all of this in courtship that what the Hebrew writer says and

marriage is honorable and all the bad undefiled that hormongers and adulters, God will

judge. There are some things that are sinful outside of the marriage relationship okay,

encouraging to date. Now back fifty years ago, give or take,

I remember the preachers talking about too young a dating. They were warning again

and says too young a dating. You know, sixteen year old's dating too

young And I agree with that. Seems like again the pendulum has swung and

this isn't at all at all, and encouragement to jump into something haphazard lier.

We got to do something. I will say this, make sure that

the materialism of our time, Mom's good cooking, all my other interests,

hobbies, things are squelching that God given desire. And again I say that,

recognizing there are those that desire it, There are those that we desired

to enter courtship. There are those that have tried and it hasn't worked.

I understand that seek God's face, have that desire to fulfill the place that

God has for you. I will say this, It's good if the Kingdom

of God is built outside of just naturally increase from our families. But what

I see across our churches, I believe is a trend that is going to

It affects the demographics of the church. The Kingdom of God is not built

with big four wheel drive pickups all decked out with all the other distractions.

That's not how the Kingdom of God is built off. That some of those

things are necessarily wrong, but we need to keep them in a proper perspective.

I'd like to go to the next point here, see counsel trusting the

Lord with all thy heart, bean not into thy nown understanding and all thy

ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy path. I'd like to just

say something about that. I can speak from experience, and I'm not speaking

about the wife that I have I'm very thankful for, but I can speak

from experience that you can go and get the counsel that you want to hear.

It can override parental concerns. But you go over here and ask this

person they say that don't really matter. Seek good counsel, and be honest

about who you ask. But that's your parents in ministry. Well meaning peers

can give advice. Remember, it's not your well meaning peers that are going

to be laying and awake at night concerned him about the choices you make.

Excuse me, set high courtship standards. I want to just touch on that.

It may sound archaic, and all the hands off. I'm not saying

that everyone that crosses that line is going to make cometicornication, but it certainly

puts you on a path that can lead to that. And the wise man

said, can a man take fire in his bosom and not be burnt?

If you had time, I could read a poem about that of failure,

But I'll move on here to the home. So we're talking about marriage,

leading up to marriage, looking for a wife, and again our world is

so mixed up. The LBGT and I don't know what are they all letters

of the alphabet Q that you could add to that? Where things are so

confused, it's no longer clearly one man, one woman and for life.

I'd like to just read for a scripture on this, just to get it

in our minds again. In Matthew chapter nineteen, could read through Genesis also

because Jesus quotes from there, but beginning the verse four Matthew nineteen. And

he answered and said, unto them, have you not read that he which

made them at the beginning made them male and female? And said, for

this cause shall a man leave father and mother, she'll cleave to his wife,

and they twain shall be one flesh wherefore they are no more twain but

one flesh. What therefore got hath joined together, letting a man put asunder.

So a very basic principle kingdom value one man, one woman for life.

Again, God is saying that for good, for our good always.

What is the purpose of the home? Well, God said seen that it

was not good for the man to be alone, and so it's for the

good of mankind. It's for the propagation of the human race. It's for

the bringing having a safe place to raise children within that marriage unit, that

home to bring out children godly scene. It's for the purity of the human

race that God had all that in mind when he instituted the home. Again,

as we look at the world around us, it's it's all about me.

It's all about what I can get out of it. It's all what

feels good to me. And anything that gets in the way of that is

is not appreciated. One of the things that runs counter to the kingdoms of

this world is the role of husband and wife in the home. And I've

spent I don't have much time to touch on that, but simply to say

that the husband is to love and to lead out. He is the leader

in the home. The wife is to submit. I'm sure where I have

this here. I'll just maybe some feel that this was God's plan after the

fall, and I believe that this order was established before the fall. But

after the fall, what was would not have been a burden before the fall

became a burden partly because of the selfishness of man and the unwillingness of the

wife because of the sin in her heart. And the pride can submit.

So I believe it was a prince that was established from the beginning. And

I think we need to be careful that we're not influenced by the feminist movement.

Wives never be ashamed to be a housewife, to not have a job

outside of the home. Find your place of submission. And if you feel

that your husband is not leading like he should, just consider that it's maybe

the very reason why you're not in leadership because you think that something ought to

be done from his perspective as a leader. God has placed him in that

and maybe he's doing right what God wanted him to do. Now, I

will hurry on to say that it needs to be a teamwork, but the

husband is the leader. The husband needs to value the wife's input. And

this is permanent. I mentioned this already, but the permanence of marriage,

that's a kingdom value versus the high divorce rate in our society today. I'd

like to touch yet on children, where the will emphasize that yesterday. Do

we see children as a heritage of the Lord or do we see them as

just getting in the way. I still remember years ago I had a neighbor,

single bachelor, and one time I was visiting with him and he mentioned

something. I don't know where the conversation was all about, but one thing

that stood out to me. He was talking about rugrats. I didn't know

what he was talking about, but he was talking about children, calling him

rug rats. Well, children are not rug rats. They're not They're not

in our way. They're gifts from God. And I think we need to

be careful. And I going back to the older waiting till older to be

getting married, changing the demographics of our church churches. Let it affects the

amount of children. And if God waits to lead you into marriage till later

in life, that's that's great. But let's not be influenced by the prevailing

thought out there. You know, maybe two children and you got four or

five. God help us. So you're being irresponsible, You're you're being You're

not looking out for the planet. Children are a blessing from God. And

I'd like to just give this warning young couples. There's different means and methods

to limiting the size of your families. I just want to say this,

never use a method that extinguishes life at its smallest existence. I believe it's

murdered some of these things. There's so much of us being talked about in

our society today. Let's not get callous to the drugs, the means,

the methods to terminate a life. Well, there's so much more that could

be said on marriage. I know I spent more time on the on the

courtship part, but I hope this gives us just a little bit of an

overview of Kingdom values in courtship and marriage, responsibility of teaching children, raising

godly seed. It's all. It's what the Kingdom values principles there that will

guide us. And God bless all of you young people here today. All

the homes those of us that find us in marriage relationships mayor homes truly reflect

the values of our King. Remember he loves us. It's for our good

always. May God bless you each one