Mothers - Leland Zehr

Good morning to each one of you, and I two

want to welcome you, greet you, and in the name

of Jesus, it's been I've been enjoyed what's been shared

so far this morning by those of you that have contributed,

so thank you for that. I won't comment on all

of that, but enjoyed that, and it was good. As

has already been mentioned and is on the program. It's

it's what we The calendar says is Mother's Day. And

I have not always felt very bound to the calendar

when it comes to preaching subjects, and but but this

this year, this time today, I did feel like maybe

I should or would speak on the subject two and

about mothers. We have quite a few mothers in our church,

and that is very good. And may, as Proverbs thirty

one twenty eight says, may your children rise up and

bless you today, and may your husband also praise you.

Wish that blessing upon each one of you. It's a

big subject and it's hard to know which approach to

which angle to come at it. My prayer and my

desire is to bless and strengthen, to encourage, to inspire

you mothers especially, and all of us here and so

this morning I've broken the message down into kind of

three main parts. The first part I want to talk

just a little bit about what is a mother, especially

a godly mother, And the second part honoring our mother,

and that would be more for the rest of us

that are not mothers, but talking about that. And then

the last part I would like to talk some to

you mothers, some biblical and practical instructions and encouragements for

you as well. What is a mother seems like kind

of a simple question, I suppose, and the most basic

secular definition to that would be a female, the female

parent of a child. Pretty simple. But motherhood represents a

lot more than that in our day to day, you know,

and politically and socially I think it probably needs even

a little bit more shoring up and clarifying. But motherhood

represents life, and it is the source from which life springs.

This is true in all of God's creation, not in

just humanity, but the animal kingdom and other places. In

the natural sense, mothers are the beginning. They're the source

of new life. A basic underlying point that I want

to make here because I think it's kind of woven

in and the broader principles and spectrums of just life

in general or humanity, is that life comes from God.

God created life, He loves life, and death and destruction

come from satan and sin. And the very first thing,

it's interesting, before sin happened, God created I won't read

a lot in Genesis, but God created Adam and Eve.

Everything was very good and before they before they went

and sinned and the fall happened. In verse twenty eight,

Chapter one, Verse twenty eight, God says this, he says,

and God blessed them. And God said unto them, be

fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth and subdue it,

and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and

over the fall of the air, and over every living

thing that moveth upon the earth. And here we see

two main things that God says and does. Here. Number one,

he blesses them, and then he instructs them, and it's

like God's smile and approval was upon them. And then

he made a request, and he said, be fruitful and multiply,

replenish the earth. And I don't know much more than that,

but in a sense, it seems like God and man

was made in the likeness of God. He he wanted

to become a grandfather, and he the other place in

the Bible says that the creation is made for his pleasure,

and God is in a way, it seems like, way

beyond why he would care about people and children and

babies in the details. But I think that is at

the heart of God, and creation is this thing of life.

I want to you to think about that in different

ways as we go through here this morning. But I

also want to say just it's basic to most of

us here, but motherhood was designed to be within a

committed marriage relationship between one man, one man and one woman,

not two women, not two men, not one man and

two women, but one man and one woman was That

was the creation from the beginning. That was how God

set it up a long term commitment. Touch on that

just a little bit later. This was done for many reasons,

and we won't go into that, but number one, by

biological reasons, it's the way it is for physical, spiritual,

and emotional wholeness. It's a one man, one woman brings

stability and well being and nurture and care for children

that only the combination of a father and a mother

together can bring two children and a home. And I

also note that a lot different things changed after the

sin and the fallen man, but this particular principle did

not change. And we see that after the fall. In

verse Genesis three sixteen, God spoke to the women. He

spoke to the serpent Adam, but what he said to

the woman was under the woman. He said, I will

greatly multiply thy sorrow and that conception in sorrow, thou

shalt bring forth children. And then a few verses ahead,

Adam said in verse three twenty and Adam called his

wife Eve because she was the mother of all living.

And I'd like you to think about that phrase. Do

mother of all living? Again? We see the life, we

see God's something changed. I don't know what God said.

The mother's sorrow will be multiplied, so there was going

to be more pain and suffering, but he said, you

shall bring forth children. That part stay the same. Now

the Hebrew word for mother, I won't go into that

too much, just a couple of comments. I don't know

if I'm saying it right. It's an e M M.

And this little word has a little bit deeper meaning

than just the female partner of a marriage or of children.

M is also has is kind of like some of

those words are tied in with other meanings, but it

kind of connects with the thought of foundational origin and

the source. Again, as mothers, that is all part of that.

She is the wellspring of physical life. Not only that,

but she's also the source, the foundation, the stability, and

the source of wisdom in her children's lives. A mother

is one of, and I would say the a primary

influence in the social and spiritual fabric of the family.

And some of you, I'm sure know how it is.

You go to the doctor's office, you go to fill

out a financial application, some legal document, and there's all

these questions about you or a married couple. One of

the questions that is often in that list, depending on

what it's about, is what is your occupation? And for

us men, we write down whatever important title we carry

or construction truck driver, some business owners, salesman, whatever it is.

But what does what is the mother the wife supposed

to write in that slot? You ever kind of wonder

what should I write? What is my occupation? And maybe

it would feel more important if you could write something like,

you know, you're a registered nurse or a financial advisor

or a lawyer, maybe a surgeon. It's a lot of

different prestigious occupations. But a mother. What is a mother?

Because you're a mother, so that's what you write. Or

a homekeeper. Now, I wrote down a few things that

I thought of that are part of being a mother,

and I just put them on the board here. This

isn't I'm sure near all.

Of them, but it's a few of them.

And at the top, I just put the Hebrew word

M for mother, but a mother, And it probably varies

with the stage of life that you're in and how

many children you have and where you're at as that progresses.

But a mother is a wife. She's a cook. She's

a teacher, a nutritionalist, a psychiatrist, a peacemaker, a financial advisor,

a spiritual advisor. She's a nurse, a house cleaner, taxi driver,

a school tutor, a counselor, a judge, a mediator, a laundress,

a seamstress, a farmer, gardener, landscaper, often head of purchasing department,

human resource manager, and on duty twenty four hours a day.

And in addition to that, for her husband, she's to

be a friend and a companion. She's supposed to be

his inspiration and take care of all his needs as well,

and then you can take it to the next level.

Often in our community there's the cares for others in

the church, and the meals and the sewing and the

sign up sheets and many things to fit in between.

And of course you are to do this all with

patience and joy and a smile on your face. Right,

this is what a mother is, some of the things.

And don't you think that an occupation with a list

like this deserves a bit of honor? God thought so,

and that's what God said, honor your father and mother.

Now I would just add to this before I move on,

that there is sometimes pressure around us and in a

world society, and maybe more so in our in the

wealthy countries like the United States, where a mother, motherhood,

staying at home is not viewed as that nobles of

an occupation. It's you know, the people that are pursued

pursuing careers, adult care, free lifestyles, parties and entertainment, children

and all of that just simply get in the way,

becomes encumbersome. But I'd like to just reinforce and I

don't think you are I don't believe you are that

you mothers. Don't be ashamed of being a mother. It

is it is, I think, and I think God would,

the Bible would agree with it. The highest and most

godly calling. If God calls you to be that that

you can fill and don't look over the fence as

your children are around your skirts, wishing and longing for

something more important. There's nothing more important, especially if you

have children, than being a good mother to them. Now

we understand, and I want to say this as well,

to understand that God does not call all ladies to

be mothers and all men to be fathers. And that

is good, and that is okay. There's many important roles

that we all can fill, and God uses gifts to

bless people. But even as ladies, you can be like

a dorcas in the Bible, that blesses many people in

her life and uses her motherly God given instincts and

attributes to bless many people. Okay, So honoring our mother

I want to talk to us probably includes all of you,

even you mothers have mothers, But I want to talk

a little bit about honoring our mothers to the rest

of us. After Brother Jaden talked this morning a little

bit about the law, and when the children of Israel

came out of Egypt and God gave the law and

you could think about them. That wasn't a negative sense.

I think it was just an orderly thing list of

ten things, which was actually pretty short list that God,

as he looked down on this confusion and these massive

people that needed to try to organize themselves and get

along and make community and be productive and travel together,

he gave just ten commandments for all of them to

follow at that point, and one of them out of

those ten was in Exodus twenty, verse twelve, honor thy

father and the mother, that the days maybe law on

the land which the Lord thy God giveth THEE. And

in Deuteronomy five sixteen it says it this way, honor

thy father and thy mother, as the Lord thy God

hath commanded thee, that thy days may be prolonged, and

that it may go well with THEE in the land

which the Lord thy God giveth THEE. And I think

that is it's in a way so basic and easy

to overlook, but that was a very that was a

ten percent of the full law that God gave right there.

The importance as he looked at families and community was

right up there at the top of all the important

things was that there would be honor and respect for

mothers and fathers and for authority. And you can take

that for granted when it's there and when it's happening,

but we probably all experienced it, we've all probably all

at times done it. But when you remove honor and

respect from a home relationship where a church or any

kind of community, things start to come unravels. There's confusion

and fighting and destruction. And I want to point out

less just to make this point clear, that what he

said here, you know, there's lots of reasons to honor

our mother, but God doesn't really list those in this

particular verse. What he says here, the ones that the

reasons God gives here is for our well being. It

has nothing to do with how well your mother is

performing or your father is performing. He says, honor them

that thy days may be prolonged and that it may

go well with thee. And this is just a principle

that we need to remember for our own good. Is

that when regardless of how unreasonable Mom is being or

how mad Dad is in the moment, that's not right

that's not justifiable. But my response, if I honor will

determine the blessing or not the blessing upon my life,

and it has nothing to do with your mother and

your father's performance. Honor, so that it may be well

with thee. It's hard to measure, it's hard to even

see sometime, but as you watch a young man that

lives by this principle and from young up honors his

mother and father all the way through life, there's a

blessing that goes with that man as he grows and

makes decisions. You take a young man or a young

lady that rebels from mom and dad and dishonors them

and takes their own way, and it's usually a path

of unhappiness, destruction, and sorrow. It's a law of God.

He says in Leviticus twenty nine that everyone that curseth

his father and mother shall be surely put to death.

He that curseth his father and mother, his blood shall

be upon him. And so it wasn't just a suggestion

or a good idea. It was a serious command with

serious consequences if it wasn't followed. So honor, honor is

what is honor, honor is simply a high regard and

respect for someone. Now a few ways that we can

honor our mother. Just getting a little bit more practical here,

and I'll speak to you children, to your youth, and

it's for all of us, but especially in that maybe

that age bracket. Mothers can easily be taken for granted.

Why is that? When was the last time that you

young children or youth like stopped and actually pondered what

all your mother does? Maybe you have, especially now that

it's Mother's Day. But I think one of the reasons

that the more faithful and consistent and solid and normal,

if you want to say that that someone is and

does their job, the easier it is to take for granted.

It's like the sun coming up. We don't even notice that,

it just happens. We count on it, we enjoy the

fruits of it, and it's always there. It's always faithful.

And that is one of the maybe the tragedies that

happens in good relationships. Often the bad ones get the

highlights and homes and churches, and they hit the news

and the budgets whatever. But the ones that are just

the most faithful, consistent, calm, no drama, just doing their job.

It's easy to overlook, it's easy to take for granted.

It's easy to think it's just happens automatically. The clothes

are always washed on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and they're

always folded on our dressers. The house is clean, the

meals already, the pantry's stocked, and whatever all happens, we

leave the house and it comes back and it's done.

It all seems so automatic until she's not there anymore.

And that might be in the sense of gone on

a trip, that might be in the sense of a

permanent situation where mother dies, and then we realize that

it wasn't at all automatic. It was anything but automatic.

So one of the ways that you can honor your

mother is to notice, to thank her, to be grateful

for what she does. And sometimes we need to stop

and actually think and watch and notice and consider all

the things that she does for us. And a simple

it's not complicated, but a simple heartfelt thank you means

a lot. Maybe sometimes a little note for a little

gift is as well. Another way to honor her is

to be respect to respect her. In some ways that

we can respect our mother is the way we speak

to her, speak graciously and respectful, don't mouth back, listen attentively,

don't cut her off and talk over her and interrupt,

and don't tell your mama jokes. I would just say

that I think that's I don't know that there's much

of that, but I've picked up a little bit here

and there, and I think that's the beginnings of kind

of a disrespectful broader culture. And if you don't know

what your mama jokes are, that's good. You don't need

to worry about it. But it's not a respectful thing.

Honor her by simply obeying her. Your mother cares deeply

for your well being, and especially a godly She's not

just telling you things to make your life miserable. It

might seem like that at times in certain stages of

your life, and she just ruining my day all the time,

but telling me to do things, but she actually loves you,

cares for you, wants the best for you. And so

when you disobey, it becomes cumbersome. It adds to the

burden of this list right here. It's disappointing, it feels disrespectful,

so obey her. Another one that is a way to

honor and bless her is to help her without being told.

As children become older and look for ways to relieve

this particular load. Again, it's a blessing, and we are

starting to enjoy some of the fruits of that in

our home, and it's a blessing. I tell our children.

I have six children, and I tell this especially for

the two older ones. I say, when we do something,

it'd be nice if there's four adults and four children

and not two adults and six children. And it just

really lightens the load and we're a little bit more even.

And so as you grow, look for ways to help.

Just lots of little ways. It doesn't take much. Just

the dishes. When she pulls in with groceries, walk out

and help carry them in. You can help with siblings.

There's a lot of little things that a person can do.

Full the laundry. Pray for her is another one. Pray

for your mother. That's simple but important too. She has

a lot on her mind, and if you pray for her,

that'll do something in your own heart and it'll bless her.

Say a little bit to you, sons, treat your mother

with dignity and honor the way that you treat your

mother is a really good indicator as to the way

that you're going to treat your wife if you're lucky

enough to get one someday. And if I was analyzing

for my daughter, I would I would. It's important to

me to know how young man is in the home,

because he doesn't just change on the honeymoon. It's a

it's a real indicator of his core value system towards

women in general. So treat and practice on your mother

how you would ideally like to be able to treat

your wife someday, you know. And one of the reasons,

not the only reason, but just to make maybe an

awareness thing children, and this is for all children. Your

mother literally sacked sacrifices her physical health, comfort, and her

own body for you to give you life. And it's

a bit of a I don't like the example that good,

but it kind of brings out some points that I

think that relate to motherhood in humanity. Is that our

families has went over to allow a lake, and I'm

sure some of you have as well. But there's a

little stream that flows into that lake, and at a

certain time of the year, the cocony fish, the little

salmon are swimming up that creek, and we've been there

a couple of times and we've watched them. It's just

real little and shallow, and you can just see these

bright red cocainy they're just turning red and they're battling

their way up those little streams, and sometimes they're hitting

the bottom and the rocks and just being battered as

they try to work their way up this creek. And

once in a while you'll see a dead one floating.

It didn't make it. But these fish have this deep

instinct that overrides all their immediate feelings and comforts and pleasures.

They have one thing in mind, and they're trying to

get up that stream and get to a pool of

water so that they can give birth to eggs and

more life can come from that. And when they finally

make it up there, they're often half dead and beat

and bruised, and they lay their eggs and they often

die and they're done. And humanity isn't exactly that way,

but in the big picture, it is kind of that

way a mother, and we should always Christians be living

in a sacrificial way, but giving up myself and my

immediate comforts and my feelings for the life and the

good of you, for you all for me, and so

that that deserves respect and honor. Jesus honored his mother.

I think that's important. He and another thing, I'll just say,

it seems like he must have. I'm sure he did not,

just must have. He was respectful to women in general,

just not his mother. That's probably why so many were

at his crucifixion. The Bible refers to the women being there.

And as Jesus hung on the cross, and he had

the literally this this huge world mission was coming to

a climax, and he was suffering physically and emotionally in agony,

with just hours left of his life, and he noticed

his mother, and he had a care for his mother

and a concern for his mother. And this is what

he said, is he hung on the cross, and he

looked down and seen his mother, He seen the disciple

that he loved, which was John. And Jesus said, Therefore,

when Jesus therefore saw his mother and the disciples standing

by whom he loved, he said to his mother, woman,

behold thy son. And he said said to the disciple,

behold thy mother. And from that hour that disciple took

her into his own home. And so Jesus noticed, and

he cared, and he made arrangements in the middle of

on the verge of death, he cared about the well

being of his mother being left behind, and she went

with John, and John cared for her. So as you,

as you sons, grow older, and you become busy, you

become important. You got lots of important things to do.

Don't ever become too busy for mom to care for mom.

Husband's just a few words to us, I'll say, in

honoring our mothers or the mother of our children, your wife,

your mother hurt your children's mother gives and gives and

nurtures those around her. And it is easy to forget,

and this is a principle in life. It's easy to

forget that those that minister and serve and nurture others

and are so good at it need nurtured and ministered

to them themselves. And you just think it's a spiccott

that you can turn on and just is eternal. But

mothers are almost that, but they're not quite that They

need They need rejuvenated and blessed and encouraged as well.

They're still humans. Find ways as husbands, I think that's

our responsibility in a lot of ways, is to try

to find ways to bless and encourage and to help

with these things right here, those are your children as well.

It's a team effort, and we need to think beyond

our wants and our needs and our important busy life.

And a self sacrificing person often will not ask for me.

They'll just keep plugging away. They'll keep doing their thing

until they just run out of gas. And each each mother,

each person is a little bit different in what refreshes

and undrests them. For some, it might be quiet time alone,

a book, a walk. For others, maybe they want to

would be with friends other girlfriends for a bit or something,

maybe taking them out for a supper on a busy day.

Or maybe she just would like our undivided attention for

a bit, with all distractions set aside, no interruptions from work,

no interruptions of urgent church matters, but just us. And

of course this is all a lifelong learning. But if

we're not intentional, and if we're not aware, and if

we don't study, we don't engage intentionally, then we never

learned and we never grow. First Peter three, p. Seven

says likewise, you husbands dwell with them according to knowledge,

giving honor unto the wife, as under the weaker vessel,

and as being heirs together of the grace of life,

that your prayers be not hindered. And I see just

a few things i'll say here in this verse, but

in my own words, it's saying, treat your wife with

gentle respect and honor. In many ways a wife is

just resilient and strong, and in other ways she's very

fragile and needs protection and our help and strength. And

it says here to be heerrs together. And I think

this is the thing that we should strive for. That

our wives are our friend and our equal companion, and

we are not their master. And Lord, that is not

what submission rules are to be. That she's your maid

servant to do all this for us while we do

what we want to do. But we're heirs together by

the grace of God. Treat her with the same love

and attention that you gave her when you are trying

to get her to marry you, to marry us. Have

you thought about that recently? Like all the bright eyes

and the tension and the things that we did to

woo her and to get her to commit to us.

So love your children's mother, Okay, Mother's few words for you.

Encouragement and instruction for mothers now as important and as

noble as motherhood is, simply becoming a mother does not

automatically make you a good godly person, Okay. And I

say that respectfully. It's just it's the way it is. Sadly,

there are men any neglectful and wicked mothers today that

live in our world, and neither does being in a

Mennonite church insulate us from being a mother that we

shouldn't be. So what I'm saying is that we are human,

and you are human, and you're amazing and you're great

and all the stuff. But you are also carnal and

you tend to be selfish and all of the things

that other people tend to as well, And so we

need to stick with God's plan and to try to

follow his way. One thing I'll just say, in a way,

it's in a way it doesn't apply, and in a

way it does. But when the principle applies, when we

step outside of God's plan and design, pain and suffering

and heartache come. And in the United States, outside of

just in our society. It's hard to estimate, but some

estimates are the around a thousand abortions a year. This

is this is a few years ago happen, and that

is like two thy four seven hundred and forty abortions

a day, one hundred and fourteen abortions in one hour.

That's two abortions every minute, just on the average, twenty

four hours a day of babies. Being that's an estimate,

we can kind of get callous to those figures, and

those staggering numbers and statistics and mass numbers tend to

just kind of gloss over them. But imagine, and I

was thinking of that, if you imagine if you just

take one of these one million women and you would

sit down with her and you would look into her eyes,

you would hear her story and try to understand what

she went through, just one out of a million, how

impactful that would be to us, or maybe to bring

it just a step closer, what if it was your daughter.

These are real people, real daughters, that for whatever reason,

find themselves in terrible situations and the result is abortion.

I don't excuse those women, but I feel sorry for

many of those women. I wonder what must be going

on in the hearts and souls of these young women

that go against their God given the very God given

instincts to bring life and nurture and protect and make

the decision to do that, and instead of like Adam

said about Eve, the mother of all of all the living,

they become mothers of the dead. And there's many mothers

of the dead. And I would and where I'm going

with this is not so much about impressive statistics or

unimpressive statistics, but that what causes this, And I would

believe that most of the time this is in a

series of wrong decisions that has led to here. And

I read somewhere that again a few old statistics from

a few years ago that out of this the abortions

that happen, around eighty seven percent are estimated to be

outside of a marriage. And I really wonder how many

of the ones that are inside of a marriage are

first time marriages. And so the principle there is people

are have broken God's his design for one man, one woman,

a committed relationship. They're living outside of that, and it's

just a snowball effect of destruction and sorrow and death

that comes from that, and that principle comes a lot

closer home to all of us when we step outside

of God's will in other little areas, the forks in

the road downhill from that, you're on the wrong path.

You can analyze at each fork of the road, but

you're still on the wrong path. And so we need

to be on the right path. Even god fearing mothers

in the Bible made many mistakes. Good women, good wives,

good mothers. Sarah was a godly woman, and she ran

ahead of God and created generations of Havoc through Ishmael

and Isaac. And Rebecca was a deceptive to her husband

Isaac and had favoritism, and that caused strife and problems

for many years. So there's we're humans, were humans. We

need God's guidance. Another one is be a praying mother.

And I would say this might be maybe one of

the most important and it's practical. Hannah was a praying

woman before she was a mother. She longed to be

a mother. Through persistent prayer, God blessed her to motherhood

to the birth of Samuel. But spending time in prayer

is probably, like I said, the most important and influential

thing that you can do for both your own self

and for your family. We think of Mary and Martha often,

that Mary sat at Jesus' feet and Martha served, and

you know we need both. But what Jesus said was Martha, Martha,

thou art careful, which means worried and troubled about many things.

And Mary hath chosen the good part, the good part.

And you don't have to tell me that you're busy again.

We can look at this list. We know that you

are busy. But I have come to the conclusion. I've

said this myself, I've heard other people say it. I've

heard people that from my perspective, I can't see how

they're so so busy, but they're too busy for their

devotional life. But what I've come to believe in my

own heart and my own life is that the busier

we come become, the more responsibility that we have, and

the more souls that we are over, the more important

it is to pray that we need all the more

to pray and to sit at the feet of Jesus.

Prayer is a cry for help. Prayer, Pray for strength

in God's wisdom to help us, Pray for how to

lead and care for those that entrust us, Prayer is

a place where we can take our worries and anxieties

and fears and leave them there with God. Prayer can

give us a calm and a quiet strength. And I

would say this also, maybe you can't have at certain

stages of motherhood just a dedicated, scheduled, exact time. I'm

not trying to put a pressure or a guilt trip

on you in that way. God understands. Pray what you can,

but to pray to God in the moments here and there.

Another thing, mothers, you're the primary one that sets the

atmosphere and the culture of your home. And you might say, well,

wait a minute, the father is the leader of the home.

And that's right, and so in many senses what the

father says and feels is definitely influences. But as far

as a littler day to day spirit of the home,

the atmosphere of the home, a mother plays in the

bulk of that, I would say, strive to exercise the

fruit of the spirit. I'm not sure how you do

all that, but prayer, keep coming back to God. And like,

I don't know if this is I'll say it in

a little more respectful way. But when mother's not doing

well in the home, not hardly anyone's doing well in

the home, and that is just there's just an a

radiance of good or bad that goes out out be

a nurturing mother. And nurturing means different things, but it

means to feed, protect, bring up, to raise, to train.

And we think of maybe the physical, all the physical needs,

and that is important, but maybe I think a little

bit more right now in terms of the spiritual and

the emotional nourishment as well, and we could look at

people like first the example in Timothy. Timothy was a

godly man, and Paul just makes reference and I find

it interesting, and we don't know the background of it all,

but he says, remember the unfeigned faith that is in

the which dwelt first in the grandmother Lois and in

the mother Unice. And I'm persuaded that in the also.

And we don't know where Timothy's father was, what he

was doing, if he was a good man, a quiet man,

or if he had died, But Paul highlights that the

influence in Timothy's life came from his grandmother and his mother,

and that is just the way it is sometimes husbands

aren't what we should be, or maybe there's gaps, but

a mother still needs to do her best to fill

that role, the spiritual needs and care for her children

as best she can. I remember my grandmother Mary. I

don't know, probably a small amount here by now remember

Oliver and Mary's air. But unless you met him, it's

a little hard to describe him. But he was. He

was kind of a rude and selfish man, I guess,

not a very good spiritual leader. But my grandma was

a quiet, smaller lady, and she was faithful. She was

read her Bible, she prayed, she tried to train her

children in spite of her husband's lax She wasn't only

a pushover, but she was respectful and gentle, often towards

him when it would just try to laugh him off.

But in spite of that big hole in the home,

she somehow managed to instill a pretty good amount of

fear of God into her three children. And there they

still got their faults and their their dose of Oliver

came through, and it continues through some and I will

try to flush it on out eventually, keep working on it.

But my point is that because of mother, because of

grandmother in that home. I think that is where, besides God,

the credit goes she. She didn't give up, She didn't

just say, well, dad's not doing it. Remember that harshness

and critical negativity shrivels a soul, and firm gentleness nurture

a soul. Discipline your children, do it with love, give

them boundaries and structure. They're just a little bit about

this this morning. Proverbs says, a lot of reproof gives wisdom,

But a child left himself brings his mother to shame.

And you know, when your children are little, they are

so cute and funny, and the things that they do,

it's just hard to discipline them, even when they're naughty

and disobedient. But that gets that. They soon outgrow that

and it becomes not so cute anymore. And an undisciplined

child will eventually make you and everyone around you and

them miserable, and the child miserable. And so discipline them,

give consistent godly discipline and correct them with love. It

teaches them long term self discipline to forego, teaches them

just not to be spoiled children that nobody likes to

be around. Discipline restrains them. It's a gift for your children.

I'm going to move on. Respect the fathers of your children.

Now this is a little bit for your mother's to

your husband's fathers. By honoring your father again, regardless of

his behavior and faults, honoring the father of your children.

By doing that, you encourage and show your children how

to honor you back. You show them how it's done,

especially and maybe in times when they don't deserve it.

So honor your husband, respect him. And that is not

necessarily being a wilting flower that never questions your husband. Husbands,

we can be selfish, blind, stubborn, and a wife and

a mother is to be a help meet. So that

means you help him. You help him be the best

man that he could be. And I don't say this

just for brownie points here, but I say, with with

no reservation that I would not be anywhere close. I've

got plenty of faults yet, but I wouldn't be anywhere

close to where I am if it wasn't for the

help of my wife through through the years. And it's

it's just the way it is, and it's a I

didn't always like the help, but it was a blessing

and it was good for me, a wife needs to

find that fine line, and I don't know how you

have to find it yourself, but of walking a line

of respect and honor and yet helping and knowing when

to question your husband on the path that he's on

at times or the attitude that he has, and you

can do that in a respectful way. You can. You can.

Often a question might be the best way than a

command or a directive to just question you know what,

what are you? What are you thinking? It's just are

you sure about this? Via Abigail. You know, Nabel was

a was a foolish man. He was mad, and he

was just gonna cause self destruction. But Abigail was wise

and deserning and she ran ahead and saved her own husband.

Don't manipulate through emotional pressure, scold or boss him like

a child, Okay, And again I'll just you know, men

and women's relationships outside of marriage are kind of dicey.

Even me to talk to you ladies this morning, and

I'm like, oh, too hard, I'll hurt your feelings and

if I don't, then I'm buttering you up and all

of that. And women, you can use that if you

want to manipulate people and men in your own husband.

You can turn on the tears. You can do a

lot of things that is just simply selfish manipulation. And

I just say, don't do that. Be honest with that.

It's okay if you cry, if you have emotions, but

don't do that in a selfish way. I need to

close here. I'm about done. I would add this respect

your sons. Maybe that sounds funny to you, the sons

in your home. Maybe you're saying, well, what are you

talking about. My sons need to listen to me. They

need to obey me. I'm their mother. You are, and

that's try. They do need to listen to you and

obey you. But there's a way in relating to even

sons and half grown boys that will will They will

respond much better if you treat them with like little

men rather than critical, nagging, irritable bossiness to them. Treat

them with a little bit more dignity and require it.

You don't need to let the mouth back in any

of that, but be firm, but respect them. And what

that will do? You know, a fear based and harsh

discipline approach, we'll get results immediately. But if you want

a long term investment with your son. Do it with respect.

He will not, in turn, find it much more easy

to honor. You. Teach your children to reach out. Many

of us have are blessed with nice homes. Don't just

turn inward. Reach out. Learn to stretch and meet friends

and host and help and connect with others in the

community and church and other places. Take care of your

own self. Maybe sometimes I've heard one time someone say

some of the best, the best thing and most spiritual

thing you can do is just sleep. And that is true.

Sometimes you get to a point where you're trying to

do so much and you're trying to pray and you're

trying to hear. Sometimes we have a physical body. It

needs rest. Just go lay down, go to sleep, take

care of yourself when you're sick and tired. And my

last point is, and this is just a statement, is

that you will lead by example. Verbal teaching, instruction is good,

it's all part of the package. It's what we need.

But nothing will teach as well as the example we

live out. And I want to just read a poem

yet in the closing here it's called when you thought

I wasn't looking tied with this thought of leading by example.

When you thought I wasn't looking, you hung my first

painting on the refrigerator, and I wanted to paint another.

When you thought I wasn't looking, you feed a stray cat,

and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking, you baked a birthday

cake just for me, and I knew the little things

were special things. When you thought I wasn't looking, you

said a prayer, and I believe there was a God

that I could always talk to. When you thought I

wasn't looking, you kissed me good night, and I loved.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come

from your eyes, and I learned that some things, sometimes

things hurt, but that it's all right to cry. When

you thought I wasn't looking, you smiled, and it made

me want to look that pretty too. When you thought

I wasn't looking, you cared, and I wanted to be

everything I could be. When you thought I wasn't looking,

I looked, and I wanted to say thanks for all

the things you did when you thought I wasn't looking.

So God bless you mothers today and in the coming days,

and never forget that it is a privilege and a

blessing to have little children that call you mom. Let's

have a closing song.