The Impact of a Father's Heart - Leland Zehr

Good morning.

It's good to be with you, and thank you all

that you all the of those that you have already

shared this morning, especially Joel, that was a very very

good introduction to the message that I have on my

mind and heart this morning. I want to welcome you all,

welcome the home people, home, fathers, visitors, Glad that you're

here with us this morning, and thank you fathers for

bringing your children here to the House of the Lord

this morning. So I do want to speak on the

subject of fathers, and I I was again, as Joel

laid a great found I have a problem with time management,

as you know, when I preach, and knowing what to

say and what not to say, and I really felt

that I was lacking in maybe a foundational fatherly god

the father introduction, and Joel did that for us, so

I am grateful for that. I won't go into that much.

Most of you know, I want to just say this.

I don't really feel like this is a disclaimer, but

maybe more of just an acknowledgment that I too am

a father as I speak to you as fathers this morning,

and I want to speak probably more to fathers than

about fathers, and I think both are good, and both

are necessary, and fathers need encouragement, they need affirmation and blessing.

I'm not sure.

If I hope that there'll be some of that woven

in this morning. That's not where my primary thoughts are

this morning. It's more of maybe instruction encouragement for us

fathers to press on in our work. So I too

am a father, and I'm fully aware that my story

of my family is not fully told. I'm in the

middle of the work right now, and the further as

many of you, I'm sure can testify. The further you

get along in parenting and you see and you experience

all the different dynamics, the different personalities in children as

they grow up, and the challenges the individual traits that

you face, good and bad. There's moments of chaos that

feel like you're my parenting idealisms are maybe shipwrecked, and

you're not sure what to do. And I don't think

it's the ideal and the goals that are a problem.

I think sometimes though, it is prudent to have a

big dose of humility, because we never know the challenges

that we face as parents, and many of you are

ahead of me and know much more than I. Do,

And in studying for this, maybe God guided my heart

to certain aspects of fatherhood.

This morning, I think I know that I'm.

In need of all of them, and so I just

give that as an acknowledgment. And so we look not

to me for so much guidance, but we want to

all look together in God's word and our heavenly Father

for guidance in this big responsibility of being a father.

And I'll start with a few verses more of an

introduction in Psalms twenty seven three to five. Low children

are in heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of

the womb.

Is his reward.

As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man,

so are children of the youth. Happy is the man

that hath his quiver full of them. They shall not

be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in

the gate. Fatherhood is a gift, it's a blessing from God.

It's also a big responsibility, and we have a great

impact as fathers in the lives of our children.

As arrows.

He gives that picture. And I thought about bringing an arrow,

but I didn't. I do bow hunt some so I'm

aware of how a bow and an arrow works, but

a quiver full of arrows.

In a mighty man.

No matter how mighty a man is, his reach is limited.

But with a bow and an arrow, an arrow far

outreaches the hands from which it is launched. And that

is how children are. And that can be positive, and

that can be negative. But the reality is most likely

our children, well from our teaching and our influence in life,

will reach in some direction, good or bad, far beyond

what we as parents and fathers are.

It says here that a.

He talks about happy is the man, and it goes

along with the picture of God the father and his

joy and singing. But I think too that it is

something that we should not lose sight of, that being

a father is a happy occupation. It's a blessing. It's

not always every moment is happy, maybe, but we should

not be ashamed. And that's another thing he says about,

talks about being ashamed. And I would to just mention

briefly that in our society and our world around us,

people often see families, marriage, the traditional values that God

has set up as a bit of a cumbersome hindrance.

Getting in the way.

Of a fulfilled life of fun and pleasure and what

I want to do, and it is.

Just not true. I would say, there are sometimes it.

Appears that way, but a man that takes his own

way and lives for self is not, in the end

a happy man. He's not a fulfilled man. Fatherhood does

take sacrifice, it takes serving, it takes hard work. But

the paradox and the truth of it is that God's way,

when we are serving, when we are sacrificing, when we

are filling a purpose much bigger than myself, it brings

a happiness and fulfillment that doesn't come when we pursue

joy and pleasure itself. So I just give those few

thoughts now, a few other acknowledgments here before maybe getting

into it a little bit further. I also realize, obviously

that not everyone here is a father, but I think

it is true that we are all impacted by fathers,

have been are in some way, and so much of

what I say this morning is applicable to all of

us here. Another thing I'll just say briefly is that

I know that often on special days, and father Day's

Fathers Day is one of them, they can be a

bittersweet day, depending on our experiences in life. Maybe for

some it can be great joy and celebration, and for

others it can be a bit more of a pain,

a bad memories experiences for whatever reasons, a remembering of loss,

remembering what my father wasn't and should have been. I

would just say to that, forgive your father and their mistakes.

Try to remember the sacrifices that they did make, Try

to bless them for that, and take from that experience

and purpose in your heart to serve God and to

be the person that God calls you to be going forward.

Don't let that hinder you. All our fathers are imperfect,

with varying degrees. And now one more thing is I

look on this side especially, and I was thinking about

all the fathers that we have, and the potential fathers,

and the fathers that have long are empty nestors now,

and our grandfathers, and it's it's all good.

And maybe there's.

Some that would love to be a father and aren't

a father, And I would just say too along with that,

that you know, not every man in history. There's been

many important men that have, for whatever reasons, have not

been called to be a father, but have been very

useful in the Kingdom of God. And so wherever we're at,

do the best that we can and fill that spot

with all our hearts. So we're going to come back

to fathers.

Now.

I don't need to define fathers. I don't believe, but

I would say that there are different kinds of fathers.

There's biological fathers that we want to acknowledge, there's adoptive fathers,

spiritual fathers. Paul talks about being spiritual fathers. We have

stepfathers and father in laws, and we have grandfathers, and

you all have kind of your role to fill and

an influence. And I'm thinking on my own life about

the different my grandfathers and my father and my stepfather

or not my step my father in law, and the

fathers of my friends. There's just been a lot of

different influence in my life from the different people of

those groups, of different kinds of fathers. And so wherever

you are in that maybe grandfathers, I think of you.

You feel done, you don't have children at home anymore.

You still play a really important role in the stability

and of the of the lineage, maybe of the family structure.

And I think grandfathers are a blessing even though you're

not directly involved as much anymore. Of course, on the

other hand, it doesn't take a responsible person or a

person with good character to become a father, to become

a biological father. It happens all the time. There's wondering

fathers and fatherless children all over the world, and it

causes a lot of hurt, and it causes a lot

of grief, and the impact is very, very real. And

I think that is one of the probably one of

the primary root factors of a society that disintegrates and

falls apart. It starts in the home. It starts with

the fathers, or the lack of the fathers.

Okay, Malachi four, do.

You want to I invite you to turn there. This

verse here is to mainly get the thoughts of my

first point. I have three points this morning. I'll get

to them in.

A little bit.

But Malachi chapter four is the last book in the

Old Testament, and I want to read just a few

verses here. It is both a warning and is both hope,

and he says in Malachi four to two and then

five and six, he says, for behold the day cometh

that shall burn as an oven, and all the proud yea,

and all that do wickedly shall be stubble, and the

day that cometh shall burn them up. Saith the Lord

of Host, that it shall leave them neither root nor branch.

But unto you that fear my name, shall the Son

of Righteousness arise with healing in his wings, and ye

shall go forth and grow up as calves of the stall.

Verse five, Behold, I send you Elijah, the prophet, before

the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord.

And he shall turn the hearts of the fathers to

the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers,

lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.

And especially that last verse is a prophecy and it's promise,

and it's also a warning. One of the conditions of

godly revival and healing and blessing upon God or from

God upon the earth is the direction of the Father's

hearts and where they are pointed. It is a condition

to a community's ability, a family's ability to prosper and.

To be revived.

And it was true then and it's still true today.

And so that the.

First point the the just the title.

Of my message.

I could have three of them, but I'm going to

pick the first point as a title is the impact

of a father's heart. And I have two other impacts

that we'll get to in a bit, but the impact

of a father's heart had fathers and husbands and potential fathers.

Young boys. You're none of you that can understand what

I'm saying this morning. Maybe you cannot fully understand it,

but I will just say you are not too young.

And the choices that you are making right now, and

the thoughts that you are thinking, and the habits that

you are developing, it is.

Not too early.

They will impact the choices you make today, will impact

in many ways your ability to be a good father

or struggle with being a bad father. A lot of

that is woven into our character at a very young age.

It's not that we're helpless as we get older, but

this is for all of us. Fathers have a lot

of responsibility. And so the question I'd like to ask

all of us, I guess, but especially as fathers, is

where is your heart and what direction is it pointed?

I don't know that, but you do, or you should know,

or we should check. A father has a lot of responsibilities,

a lot of tasks. We could fill this whiteboard with

the things that a father does and needs to do.

But yes, he's primarily a protector. He's a provider, he's

a teacher, he's an example. He's a role model for

the children that follow after him. But about all these

important things, and there could be sub points under all

of these, I think the most important trait fact about

a godly father and what he needs to do is

and if he's going to be successful is going to

be determined by the direction of his heart and where

his heart is. The other two points that I'll get

too shortly is the impact of a father's discipline and

the impact of a father's presence.

And I want to.

Look at two men's lives after this point and take

some examples from that. But I got to move along here,

so I invite you now to Deuteronomy for the first point,

the direction of a father's heart, the impact of a

father's heart, and a few questions again for us to

consider in just a few comments before I read some verses,

here is what along with the question what is the

direction of your heart? And we shouldn't take for granted

the next question, it's what direction should my heart be pointed.

That is another thing I'd like for you to think out,

because if we're not sure exactly where it should be pointed,

how do we know how to work at pointing it

in the right direction? And what is the primary goal

of our aim? What are we trying to accomplish with

all this busyness that fathers find themselves in.

And we could paint this picture how.

I don't know how it started for you, it's very

but some form of we meet this beautiful girl at

Bible school, we fall in love with her, and with time,

there's excitement, there's a there's a marriage, there's a wedding.

Life goes on, and there's the developing of a home,

and the buying of a place, and a getting of

a job, and the accumulating of all the needs.

For that home.

And a home is established, and we buy the things

and we fix up the place, and we have a

lot of enjoyment in doing all of that. Life goes on,

and if God blesses us, we wake up one day

with two or four or six or eight children, and

we're just busy, and we finished the day and we

fall into bed exhausted, and we soon the alarm wakes

us up and we start the process all over again.

But what are we trying to accomplish in all of this?

Where are we guiding this flock or group of children

that are around us.

Towards?

What do we want them to become? What do we

know or just it just happens? What is our guiding star?

What are we aiming.

Those arrows at? I mean, what's the target.

We're seeing these verses here in Deuteronomy five and six.

I think God is trying to give a littley to

that something we need to stop sometimes in our busyness

and just kind of recalibrate our mind and our thoughts

and our direction in life. What this is all about.

And in Deuteronomy five, at the beginning of the chapter,

we have the commandments given, the dos and the don'ts,

the things that you should not do and not do.

But that's not what I'm focused on here. I want

to move Those are important, But in verse twenty nine

and thirty three, and then the first seven verses in

chapter six is what I want to look at this morning.

God goes on after those commandments and.

Gives a little bit more what I would think is

maybe the heart of the matter more than just the

ten laws. Is kind of the whyse and the purpose

behind this. So think about those thoughts as we read

these verses Deuteronomy five twenty nine thirty three, and then

summon in chapter six, Oh, that there was such a

heart in them that they would fear me and keep

my commandments always, that it might be well with them

and with their children forever. Verse thirty three. Ye shall

walk in all the ways which the Lord your God

hath commanded you, that it may be that ye may live,

and that it may be well with you, and that

ye may prolong your days in the land which ye

shall possess. Verse twenty verse chapter six, Verse one. Now

these are the commandments, the statutes, and the judgments which

the Lord your God commanded to teach you that ye

might do, that ye might do them in the land

whither ye go to possess it, that thou mightest fear

the Lord thy God, to keep his statutes and his commandments,

which I have commanded thee thou and thy son and

thy son's son all the days of thy life, and

that thy days may be prolonged. Here Therefore, o Israel,

and observe to do it that it may be well

with THEE, and that ye may increase mightily, as the

Lord God of thy fathers hath promised THEE and the

land that floweth with milk and honey.

Here O Israel. The Lord, our.

God is one lord. Thou shalt love the Lord, thy God,

with all thy heart and with all thy soul, and

with all thy might. And these words which I have

commanded THEE this day shall be in thine heart. And

thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shall

talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and

when thou walkest in thy by the way, and when

thou liest down, and when thou risest up, and thou

shalt bind them for a sign upon thy hand, and

they shall be as frontlets before thine eyes, and thou

shalt write them upon the posts of thy house and

on thy gates.

I'll stop there.

Just two main thoughts I'd like to get from this

chapter here, these verses God's desires for God's desire for

fathers and mothers. First of all, is to have a

heart that fears to reverence, that is a aware of God,

that there is one God, and that our hearts would

love and trust, and that we would have the understanding

of a God that is doing all these things and

setting all these statutes and commandments up. That is the

very very best that we can have in life. It

is nothing restrictive, It is nothing hindering us from a

good life. But it is a is It is a

roadmap of blessing. And I think that is what God

is trying to say, is that this is not some

restrictive life. It is all these commandments that I just

gave you, and that my heart for you to is

to not only keep them, but to love me and

to believe in me and to follow Me with all

your heart, so that it will be well with you

and that your life may be prolonged. I think that

is the one thing. It is the very best quality

of life that we can have, and it doesn't always

feel like it, but in comparison to the alternative. The

second thing then he is stressing here is that after

that is done, and after the fathers and mothers have

aligned their hearts with that, is that these core values

that are in the hearts of the fathers are then

passed on to the children and the son's sons and

generation to generation.

So I think we could say, father, is that.

And in a way this is so basic, and we

think this is well, this is just a general point.

We all knew that already, but just be patient with

me for a little bit. I think that core that

we need to come back to that with our children.

Our goal should be that children, our children would have

an awareness and a fear and a love of God

and his precepts and his statutes.

In all the activities that we face each day.

You know, we as parents, we have different personalities, we

have different upbringings, and that's all right. We want to

teach them good manners. We want to teach them hard work.

We want to teach them to be productive, we want

to teach them not to fight, and many many other things,

all good things. But I think we need to always

be reminded of this core principle, especially for us fathers,

that where our heart is from of all in the direction.

That it is pointing, and the things that we put

value on.

Will most likely be transferred and absorbed to some degree

into our children, whether we know it or not. It

is not where your wife's heart is. It is not

where the preacher's heart is or where the church's heart is,

but it is where your heart as a father is.

You are the greatest impact upon your children. I know

sometimes we wish it was the church, we wish.

It was something else. And it's not that it doesn't

have an impact.

But by far, a father and a mother have the

greatest influence in the life of their children. It's just

the way that it is father's who we are silently,

subconsciously radiant out and is picked up by our children

and influences them. Talks about when you're when we're all

the aspects of a twenty four hour day, when we're

when we're walking, when we're talking, when we're driving down

the road, when we're going to bed and getting up.

It's all those little moments in the day. We think

about training children. We maybe think of a formal setting,

a talk, a maybe a discipline, but training children is

at twenty four to seven, whether you know it or not,

and it is some of the some of the most

impactful training moments, or when we have no awareness that

we are training our children throughout the day, the things

that we face, our attitudes, our expressions, our reactions.

I have been.

Pressed surprised at what some of even my little children

pick up from us parents, maybe what we thought or

what we said, or what was in our heart, or

what we thought about a given subject. It has a

way of being transferred. The reality is it is very,

very difficult to compensate for our lack of character.

With good teaching, you can. You can.

You can fool the children and the system for a while.

You can override that principle for a while.

You can be about. You can be.

What you shouldn't be and force your children to sit

in a row for a while. But very soon that

moment passes faster than you think.

Then the cat is out of the bag and it

is what it is.

The atmosphere and the spirit of a palm of a

father is as much as an impact of an important

as the commandments and the rules that we teach.

I want you to.

Think about that a little bit, that the atmosphere of

a father sitting at the supper table, relating to his wife,

relating to his children. Our attitude, whether it's joy, whether

it's grumpy, whether it's anger, whether it's whatever. Our demeanor

that speaks as loud or louder than the words that

we say or the chapter that we read or whatever

we do. The spirit the heart of a man, That's

what I'm talking about. It shapes our children who they

become in the subconscious moments of our life. The indulgences

that we allow ourselves, the standard of purity or lack

of in the privacy of our heart, the little bursts

of anger or or the discipline of our emotions, either

one the critical mouth of the mouth of blessing, the

spirit of humility, whether or proud and frustrated. Those things

that are in the heart of us as fathers. Depending

on what we allow is what will impact our children.

We talk about one of the probably the most common

Bible verses that children know is children will your parents

and the Lord.

For this is right.

And we strive to teach our children obedience. How do

we teach our children obedience? How do we teach them

to submit their will to the will of their authority?

Is it just with a big stick? What do they

see in father and his will when it has crossed

with the rest of the school board, with the rest

of the ministry, with the rest of the church, with

whoever it might be. When Daddy disagrees with his authority,

how do we teach our children, obey your parents and

the Lord, for this is right. Do we show them

how to humbly lay down my will, lay down my desires,

lay down my preferences in this case submit? Do we

show them how? There are many areas could we could

point out? And I have to move on to other things.

The other points here we'll read a verse in Proverbs

four twenty three says keep your heart, thy heart, with

all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life.

And that is just a principle that we must always remember.

And to keep our heart takes some work. It isn't

just like, well, what if it isn't what it is

should be? Well, I think a heart takes care, a

heart takes cultivation, a heart takes input. You know no

one else can do this. This is not the burden

of your wife men, and the burden of other people.

What is it is our responsibility to cultivate and direct

our heart. The direction of our heart is a daily choice.

It is what we feed it, It is what we

think about. It is the choices that we make in

all those little areas that we talked about. What we feed,

what we think, what we take in if we kneel

down by our bed by, by kneel down each day

in prayer and read our Bibles and be aware of

God's word, it'll it'll shape our hearts. And if we

skip that but endlessly scroll through garbage on who knows

what that will shape our heart? It is it is

largely up to us to shape our hearts.

I wanted to.

Talk about, not that I know so much about it,

but there's this thought I'll just leave with you, and

I hope it can be good. Epigenetics. This word epigenetics.

Some of you probably know what that is. I barely do.

But this, this idea or this reality of the impact

of an unborn baby in the womb of a mother

before it is born, long before it is born, impacted

by many decisions and.

Diet.

It can be from drugs and alcoholic course.

Is very negative.

But even things much less, things like stress, things like worry,

things that are going on in your life can.

Shape the.

Development and impact a baby for years after they're born,

simply by the decisions of the mother and her choices

through the pregnancy. And I was thinking about that as

fathers and spiritual epigenetics, and you can just take that.

I'll let you develop that. But I think there is

a principle in that again back to the heart of

us fathers that we are shocked children do and say sometimes.

And I know they have a free will. I know

that's a part.

Of the equation, but there is just a real reality

of the spiritual epigenetics that happens to our children, especially

at a young age, that is spiritually, emotionally, physically getting

passed on and shaping them. The next point, I'd like

to look now at two different fathers and draw some

lessons from them. And now I'm going to shift, and

it might sound like I'm gonna pivot completely away from

what i was saying before, but I'm not. This principle

of the impact of a father's heart is firmly needed.

But as important as a father where a father's heart is,

there are also other important things that need to happen

as well. And I want to The first man i'd

like to look at is Eli in First Samuel one

through four. These are both pretty long stories. I'm gonna

have to just abbreviate him. I hope I don't butcher

him too much. I would encourage you to read them

if you get a chance in the near future. But Eli,

we know the story of Eli and first Samuel one

through four, and this is the impact of a father's discipline.

Eli was a.

Good man, He was a high priest. He was a

judge of Israel for forty years. He was faithful. And

we know the story of Eli, how that with Hannah.

She came begging for a son, and the interaction there

and God through Eli, spoke to Hannah.

And said, you will have a son, and it will

be Samuel.

And so God used Eli. Samuel when he was born,

he came back to the temple and was there and

lived and was mentored by Eli, and was trained up

in the ways of God.

And it seemed like Eli was a very good priest.

He was very good at his he feared God, he

served him faithfully for many years. But when it came

to being a father and his two sons, seems like

he did not do so well. The Bible says that

his two sons, haff and I and Phinias, were sons

of Belile. And if you research just a little bit

on Belile, what is that it sounds like an idol

or something, but that it was a term used for

worthless men in the Old Testament, they were us men

that were just wicked, reprobates up to no good living

for the flesh, drunkards, gluttons, immorality, and rebellious, just wicked

guys that literally were worthless men was the definition, and

that is what Hawfedai and Finias were. The sons of

this high priest, of this God.

Had they robbed themselves.

They robbed and made themselves fat of the chiefest offerings

when people came to the temple. And I can't quite tell,

but it almost seems like Eli might have been involved

in some of that eating, but I'm not sure. They

seduced and committed fornication with the women that came to

the temple of the Tabernacle. Just profane men took advantage

of these people that were coming to find God and

to worship. They were selfish and lazy and prayed up

on the people. There.

Where was Eli when all this was going on. Well

we don't know.

All the details, of course, but God was very upset

with this. He sent a man to Eli once, he

sent Samuel to him, then finally to give him the

warning of judgment. But a couple verses and Samuel won

two twenty nine. Wherefore, Kiki, at my sacrifices and at

mine offerings, which I have commanded in my habitation, and

honors thy sons above me, to make yourselves fat with

the chiefest of all the offerings of my offerings of Israel,

my people. And he told Samuel, I will do a

thing to Israel which will both the ears of everyone

that hereth it shall tingle. And in verse three thirteen,

God says, for I've told him that I will judge

his house forever for the iniquity which he knoweth, because

his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.

He restrained them not. And I want to think about

briefly the impact of discipline. Eli loved God and Eli

loved his sons. And I think Eli's heart was right

in the broader sense. That wasn't the problem. You know

often you know he probably had a good time, a

good relationship, but he simply couldn't tell them, no, they

were unrestrained, they were selfish.

They grew up to be.

Very wicked and worthless men. And if you read that story,

it wasn't just like, oh well, it was a loss

to the family, but it impacted the nation of Israel

greatly because God judged them. In the day that those

two men died, the arc was stolen. Thirty thousand men

were killed by the Flistines, along with Haffena and Phineas.

And when the.

News came back to Eli of all this had happened,

he was ninety eight years old. He was sitting down

at the gate, and when someone came.

And told him the news.

The Bible says in verse four eighteen, he says, he

fell from off the seat backward by the side of

the gate, and his neck brake, and he died, for

he was old and heavy. Eli had a self discipline

problem himself that was magnified in the lives of his sons,

which often is how our traits are. And I understand

that a lot of us tend towards this. I tend

towards this this side of.

Well, let me say it this way, that we.

Resist heavy handedness, harshness, severity. Maybe you've experienced a father

or an authority that has lashed out, has been angry,

and all of that is very harmful. It's ungodly, it's

not right, it's impactful to children. It often drives children

away from their families when that happens. But could it

be that there's another danger of overreacting to that so

called drama in our lives, where we become permissive and

we become lenient and we don't want to be like

all those things in our mind from the past, and

we don't restrain our children as they need restrained and

the desires and their passions grow. I think it's a

real possibility for it, at least some of us. Maybe

Eli had an overstrict father, maybe he didn't like conflict,

Maybe a lot of things.

We don't know some of that.

But fathers, remember that your children, left to their own

appetites and their own desires and their own unbroken will

is a recipe for spoiled, wicked, worthless men and adults.

It just is.

I know that children are so cute, and they're so funny,

and they're so precious, and we love them very much,

and I do too, and it is cute and precious

sometimes when they be bad and when they say a

bad thing at a certain age, I can still understand

all that. But just keep an eye on their will.

A will of a child, we need to continually work

at it. Many of you, by the way, do better

than me. I think, so I'll just say that it's

a weakness of mind to keep track of the children

and to discipline them. They need that discipline. The proverb

says twenty two six, and in twenty three train up

a child on the way he should go, and when

he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs

twenty three says, withhold not correction from your child, for

if thou beatst him with the od, he shall not die.

For thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt

deliver his soul from hell. Those are kind of strong words.

I don't think we use that same English today. But

the punishment of a child is needed, and the restriction

and the constrainment, and each of us fathers do it different.

We need to leave each other room to do it

in different ways. But just remember a good heart does

not replace the need for consistent discipline and training in

a child's life. It takes both. One more story, another

story of a very godly man, maybe one of the

most godly men in the Old Testament.

God himself called.

Him a man oh after my own heart. I mean,

how much higher of a score could you get than that,

and that, of course is the man David, the son

of Jesse.

And this story that.

I'm thinking about this morning is in Second Samuel twelve

through eighteen.

And again I can't give you all the details.

I would love to, but I don't have the But

David was such a role model man and person in

so many ways. Growing up in his youth, he just

seem like a very respectful young man. He was good

with the sheep. He was good obedient, He was a

faithful shepherd. I think he would have made any of

us parents proud to have David for our son. He

was skilled, he could care for the livestock. He was

a strong, skilled fighter.

He was brave, he was good with music and poetry.

He was a writer, just a classy man, classy young man.

And then he was called to be a king, and

in that he was humble and his soul hit the

king before him, was his heart got jealous towards David.

David navigated that.

With class as well. He did not kill Saul when

he could have. He was God conscious. He just had

a sen seative heart towards God. He was a good king,

a good leader, treated the people well. He was just

seemed like he excelled at almost everything King David did,

but when it came to being a father, he was

a disaster. In many ways, we don't think of it

that way. But my third point is the impact of

a father's presence.

There's a lot of lessons.

We could learn out of this area here, but I'm

going to just go through them quickly. Second Semary eleven

through eighteen, and David here is probably kind of at

the pinnacle of his success right before chapter eleven, and

maybe success was the trap. Maybe was a success was

a thing that seems to have did him in. He

could handle all the challenges and all the resistance, but

when he finally got to where he was so successful,

he couldn't handle it. Chapter eight eleven is the story

of where he was up on the rooftop while his

men were out fighting, and he was should have been

somewhere else, but he wasn't wandering around looking and he

seen Bathsheba and he called her, committed adultery with her,

killed her husband, and how that whole story goes. Chapter

twelve we have the prophet Nathan coming and confronting David,

and David being realizing his sin and being caught and

repenting and the baby.

Dying and all that went with that.

But a part of the story that at least I

don't hadn't thought about often is and we don't hear

a lot about, is what about David the rest.

Of David's family? What was going on with them?

He had a bunch of children already when this all

took place. Well, David was running the kingdom, fighting wars,

solving problems, falling into sin. Where was he and his

other children? And with a little research, I think some

of these children would have likely been in their teenage years,

teens and maybe close to twenty. What were they doing

when David was going through all this drama and God

was working on David. Well, chapter thirteen we get a

glimpse and at least what happened to some of them.

And this is where the story of Absalom starts, a

very sad story. And we have a story of three

of David's children here. And the timing of this is

between chapters twelve and thirteen. We don't know for sure,

but it might have been a couple of years. But

the stage was set. David set the stage for his

family to be a disaster at this point, and that's

exactly what happened. David's first born. And then there's the

beautiful daughter Tamar and Absalom, David's third son. There's these

three children in this story, and Absalom and Tamar I

believe were full brothers and sisters, and Amnon would have

been a half brother to them. And Amnon, like his father,

had a loss problem. And one day he seduced his

half sister Tamar into a situation, violated her, raped her,

a terrible wicked thing. And when Absalom, the younger brother,

found out, he was exceedingly angry, angry at his big brother, and.

He plotted from that day forward.

That he was going to get revenge on Amnin. And

for two years that simmered in Absalom's heart, waiting for

his chance. And in two years he got his chance.

And when the brothers came together at a meeting, Abslom had

ordered his men at a certain point to ambush and

fall on Amine and kill him, and that is what

they did, and Absalom's revenge was accomplished.

Absalom was Abslom.

Was still a very troubled young man at that time,

and I picture him in the age of fifteen to eighteen.

I don't know exactly, but after the death of Amn

and I think David was uncertain how he would what

would be, what would his consequences be, and he fled

to Gesher for three years. Absalom kind of went into

into hiding.

But after three years.

There's a lot of more details to this story, he

was able to come back to Jerusalem, into the city

of his father. But even after he came back, for

two years he lived in the same city as his father,

and he wanted to see his father's face, but I

don't know why, but he David didn't, and Absalom got

so frustrated. He wanted to get Joab's attention, David's or

David's chief man. So he let Job feel on fire

and got his attention, and he told Job, I want

to see my father's face.

And this is what he said. In Second Samuel fourteen

thirty two.

When Job finally came to him, Absolom answered, Joe, ab

behold I send unto the saying come fi hither, that

I may send thee to the king to say wherefore

am I come from? Gesture it hath been good for

me to have been there still. Now, therefore, let me

see the king's face, and if there be any iniquity

in me, let him kill me. And Abslom was just

pleaing to see his father, and if at that point

he would rather see him than be killed, than to

be ignored and to be rejected. And maybe there's more,

Maybe some of you have input that makes more sense

of this. It just doesn't align with me. For the

heart of David. But if you add up those years

of when Tamar was violated, two years and then three

and then two more, it would have win seven years

from that moment to the time that Absalom would have

finally been able to see David, And that had been

in Absalom's heart for a long time. No doubt, Absalom

was a different man, now, older, harder. On the outside,

Abslom was a handsome man. He was a beautiful man,

the Bible says, But on the inside he was troubled

and ambitious and hard hearted. And the story goes on

or Absalom plots to overthrow his dad and take the kingdom,

and he sat at the gate and he listened to

the people, and he stole the hearts of the people,

And that's just a brief thing I'll touch on is

that I wonder if Abslom didn't learn that the heart

that listening to people you can steal their hearts, which

doesn't seem like he had much of that with his father.

The story goes on, and that we're in that fight.

Then finally David flees.

Trying to run away from his Absalom's men, and Absalom

goes into the city, rebelling against his father, sleeps with

his father's concubines, reaping of David's own immorality, no doubt.

But Absolom, the fast forward, gets.

His head caught in a branch of a tree and

is hanging there, and job goes and kills him, this young, hurting,

handsome young man. David's heart was broken about the loss

of another son. And the words of David ring down

through the years, and they're they're just touching if you

think about the scene in Second Samuel eighteen thirty three

when David heard the news, because he had specifically instructed

even though Absalom was out to kill him, he instructed

his men, do not kill my son. But they did,

and the king was much moved and went up to

the chamber over.

The gate and wept.

And as he went thus he said, Oh, my son, Absalom,

my son, my son, Absalom, would God I had died

for the Oh Absalom, my son, my son.

But it was too late.

Those crucial moments when the son needed his father, the

most had passed. David was busy, David was important. David

was a king, and so my fat My question to you,

father's is where in the world was David when these

children needed him? Where was David when all this drama

was playing out from the beginning to the end. Why

didn't David go protect his beautiful daughter Tamar and deal

with Amnent. Why didn't he go and listen to Absalom

and allow Absalom to get that off his heart. We

don't know some of that. It just seems like if

David would have focused his attention on his children, he

could have saved a lot of heartache. You know, David's

heart again, was very good. It was remarkable towards a

rebellious son. Even at the end, he did not want

his son killed. But it seems like David was an

absent father. Today, there are many absent fathers, and we

could go into the studies. There's many studies of the

effects of absent fathers on children. Just a few lower

academic do poorly in school, much more anxiety and depression

in a child that has an absent father, more behavioral problems,

the progressive, less disciplined, go into poverty, more likely to

get into drugs and alcohol and sex at a young age,

much higher.

Crime rate rate.

And I realize that we thankfully don't have absent fathers

that are truly absent in that way normally, and that

is a blessing. But could it be that we're absent

in other ways, subtle ways? Fathers being absent is not

only hard on your children, it's hard on you and

your life and your integrity. Often it's hard on your marriage.

We become disconnected, we get used to it, we're aloof

we're not in that day to day connection.

And when that happens, we open the.

Door for a lot of a lot of things for

our children to fall into. I know we're busy, I

know we have a lot of important responsibilities.

But our children need us.

They need us to look into their eyes, they need

us to listen to them, They need us to quit

thinking about all the problems that we have in our

heads and to just pay attention to them at times.

I know there's times that we can't make at home.

There's times we have to be gone for a meal,

for supper, for a night that happens. But I just

encourage us fathers, try to make it a habit to

be present with your children every day for a section

of the day at meal time and just be there.

It seems like like what difference does it make, But

if we do that, it just makes a difference. God

designed the home for a father and his makeup to

be there, to be steady, to bring a calm, to

bring discipline, to bring love, to bring a lot of

things that a good mother just simply does not wasn't.

Created to be so.

Closing the three points, remember if you don't remember anything else,

remember that the impact of a father's heart, the impact

of a father's loving discipline, and the impact of a

father's presence.

God bless you