Family Ties Part 3 - Archie Callahan

0.000000 5.840000 I'm going to continue the series, "Family Ties" today is the second part of a sermon that

5.840000 12.480000 we started last week called "Covenant Love Strengthening the Marriage Bond," and we talked

12.480000 17.040000 last week about lies, lies.

17.040000 26.120000 Someone once said this, "We have been poisoned by fairy tales."

26.120000 40.200000 Let me remember the movie, "Princess Bride," Wesley and Buttercup, marriage, marriage, marriage.

40.200000 48.400000 Wesley is on this unending journey to prove his love to Buttercup.

48.400000 56.540000 At the point of death he was asked, "Is there anything worth living for?"

56.540000 69.160000 And out of a whisper of the little bit of life that was left in his dying spirit, true love,

69.160000 82.860000 and somehow those fairy tales have become something that we think is very much real and needs

82.860000 86.260000 to be incorporated in marriage.

86.260000 97.740000 To the point that we size up our marriage, partner, our spouse, through the measurements of

97.740000 102.980000 Hallmark.

102.980000 110.220000 Someone once said, "Hallmark movies and fairy tales are emotional pornography."

110.220000 114.020000 Kind of deep there.

114.020000 115.020000 Kind of deep.

115.020000 119.620000 I'm just going to hit you and run this morning.

119.620000 129.300000 We must never get into the believing of fairy tales or what they are, their fantasies.

129.300000 133.620000 And fantasies have no substance.

133.620000 137.260000 You cannot build your marriage on a fantasy.

137.260000 141.180000 You cannot build your marriage on a fairy tale.

141.180000 151.780000 You cannot build your marriage on a lie, because those things are not a true foundation.

151.780000 156.140000 First Corinthians tells us no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid,

156.140000 158.140000 which is Jesus Christ.

158.140000 164.860000 For us, the truth is not a precept, it's not a concept, it's not a grouping of words.

164.860000 168.340000 The truth for Christ's followers is Jesus.

168.340000 171.100000 Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life.

171.100000 177.120000 So if I'm going to build a marriage, if I'm going to build a life, I have to have a firm

177.120000 183.180000 foundation that keeps me steady in the midst of storms."

183.180000 187.100000 You say pastors, is it wrong to watch Princess Bride?

187.100000 188.100000 No, I watched it.

188.100000 189.100000 I had to.

189.100000 192.100000 I had girls.

192.100000 198.300000 I'm not saying that, but don't adopt that as truth and a measurement for your relationship.

198.300000 199.300000 Amen.

199.300000 208.220000 Come on, don't live in a fairy tale, don't live in an alternative reality.

208.220000 214.620000 Because every time you read the Word of God, it wakes you up out of your fantasy and brings

214.620000 217.140000 you back into the real world.

217.140000 221.300000 I like what Joshua Liebman said.

221.300000 229.540000 He says, "They live happily ever after, it's one of the most tragic sentences in literature.

229.540000 232.780000 It's tragic because it's falsehood.

232.780000 241.060000 It's a myth that has led generations to expect something from marriage that is not possible.

241.060000 242.500000 It's not possible.

242.500000 253.380000 It's not possible for men or women to live up to what Hollywood is produced in movies.

253.380000 259.940000 Your man will never look like Arnold Schwarzenegger."

259.940000 265.940000 Somebody said, "Thank God."

265.940000 271.640000 Your woman will never probably look like the painted woman on the magazine at the grocery

271.640000 272.640000 shop.

272.640000 273.640000 It's painted.

273.640000 274.640000 It's doctored up.

274.640000 275.640000 It's lifted up.

275.640000 277.040000 It's powdered up.

277.040000 281.160000 It's makeup.

281.160000 284.000000 It's not real.

284.000000 290.680000 Time and gravity pulls on life, amen.

290.680000 292.200000 Hallelujah.

292.200000 299.800000 There has to be more to your relationships than looks, biceps, triceps, traps.

299.800000 302.320000 Come on.

302.320000 310.960000 If it's going to last, there has to be some substance to your marriage, lies.

310.960000 316.040000 Don't ever build your relationship on a lie.

316.040000 319.280000 A lie is a faulty foundation.

319.280000 323.600000 You might say, "Well, what is a lie?"

323.600000 334.640000 A lie is knowingly presenting false information in order to mislead someone.

334.640000 337.960000 In our culture, there are four distinct lies.

337.960000 341.320000 There's one called a white lie.

341.320000 343.360000 And we make that holy.

343.360000 348.320000 It's just a white lie, just a little bit of deception.

348.320000 352.560000 How many of you know if we measured everything like that, we could say, "Well, it's just a

352.560000 353.560000 little bit of poison.

353.560000 355.520000 It's not going to hurt you."

355.520000 358.360000 A little bit of arsenic going to hurt you.

358.360000 362.760000 A little bit of round up in your coffee going to hurt you.

362.760000 365.440000 That's not cool, is it?

365.440000 366.440000 A lie is a lie.

366.440000 372.800000 Whether it's a white lie or not, it's a minor untruth, but it's still a lie.

372.800000 377.280000 There's another one, exaggerations.

377.280000 383.820000 Every guy in here that's ever caught a fish has used this.

383.820000 388.520000 He was this big.

388.520000 391.200000 We exaggerate the truth.

391.200000 397.840000 It took me four hours to reel in that 60-pound tuna, knowing it was only four minutes and

397.840000 400.480000 thirty seconds.

400.480000 403.440000 We exaggerate the truth.

403.440000 406.440000 We stretch it even pastors do it.

406.440000 411.440000 We call it being evangelistic.

411.440000 413.880000 How many people were in your Easter services?

413.880000 417.360000 We get evangelistic.

417.360000 419.840000 And we tell them a lie, it's not true.

419.840000 421.320000 It's exaggeration.

421.320000 422.320000 It's not holy.

422.320000 424.680000 And then there's this fabrication.

424.680000 426.640000 We say, "What's a fabrication?"

426.640000 433.320000 It's a completely made up information without any basis of reality.

433.320000 434.920000 Have you ever been around?

434.920000 439.560000 Somebody just fabricated something.

439.560000 443.840000 The Russia hoax.

443.840000 447.440000 People believe that because it's been repeated so much.

447.440000 451.680000 But it's been proven that it's not true.

451.680000 454.880000 And that happens in both political parties.

454.880000 459.760000 It's called character assassination to gain political power.

459.760000 468.480000 It happens on both sides, because people love power and they'll do anything to get power.

468.480000 470.480000 Jesus was never like that.

470.480000 476.120000 Jesus was never hungry for power, even though he was all powerful.

476.120000 479.480000 Oh, man, that's good, right there.

479.480000 484.800000 Jesus knew how to restrain his power for the greater good.

484.800000 489.240000 He could have called a legion of angels to come get him off the cross, but he restrained

489.240000 495.800000 his power and did the will of the Father and gave his life.

495.800000 497.280000 Fabrication of the truth.

497.280000 499.960000 And last but not least is this right here, omission.

499.960000 500.960000 How do you know?

500.960000 503.240000 Omission can be a lie.

503.240000 505.240000 You say, "What's omission?"

505.240000 514.040000 It's leaving out crucial details that would change the perception of the truth.

514.040000 515.520000 You ever done that?

515.520000 517.920000 Somebody said, "Yeah."

517.920000 519.480000 We probably all have.

519.480000 525.000000 We've probably omitted things that made us look better.

525.000000 530.680000 But we need to become people of one, the truth.

530.680000 535.600000 Because every time you believe a lie, you empower the liar.

535.600000 548.760000 We must guard our hearts from lies, and we must guard our lips from telling lies.

548.760000 555.200000 Even when telling the truth will cost us something.

555.200000 557.040000 That's being integrus.

557.040000 563.840000 That's being people of character, where we work, where we shop, where we live, where we

563.840000 568.720000 do commerce, when we sell houses, when we teach school.

568.720000 579.360000 Whatever we do, we must become the embodiment of truth who is Jesus in the world.

579.360000 582.520000 Four lies that we believe in marriage.

582.520000 584.200000 The first one was this right here.

584.200000 586.000000 I can change him or her.

586.000000 588.000000 I mean, that's a lie.

588.000000 593.280000 You're not going to change the person that you're married to.

593.280000 598.880000 In fact, God never gave Adam dominion over Eve.

598.880000 604.040000 He gave him dominion over the earth, through the crawling creatures, over the birds of the

604.040000 605.960000 air, over the fish of the sea.

605.960000 607.200000 He had dominion over them.

607.200000 615.720000 But when God made Eve out of Adam, he did not make Eve so that Adam could rule over

615.720000 618.000000 her or have dominion over her.

618.000000 625.520000 He made Eve as his helper and the Hebrew is the word "easer," which means rescuer.

625.520000 630.040000 Actually, it's a picture of God rescuing us.

630.040000 637.080000 And when God made Eve out of Adam, Adam had no understanding that through Eve would come

637.080000 639.520000 salvation, which is Jesus Christ.

639.520000 640.520000 Amen.

640.520000 645.640000 I'm telling you today, men, your wife holds a part of your salvation, but you've got to trust

645.640000 646.640000 her.

646.640000 649.440000 Oh, that's a little deeper.

649.440000 653.240000 We can go a little deeper if you want to, but we don't have time.

653.240000 655.360000 Amen.

655.360000 661.320000 And so they were supposed to be co-airs and to populate this planet.

661.320000 670.720000 The first commission given to mankind was to be fruitful and multiply, and multiply.

670.720000 674.800000 All of us are here because somebody got passionate.

674.800000 675.800000 Amen.

675.800000 677.640000 Amen.

677.640000 687.000000 And they kept the great commission alive, be fruitful, and multiply.

687.000000 688.800000 So you can't change your marriage part.

688.800000 691.720000 And number two, marriage is 50/50.

691.720000 700.200000 I mean, when you think marriage is 50/50, you begin to keep score.

700.200000 705.760000 Baby, I need you to clean the kitchen today because I cleaned it yesterday.

705.760000 706.760000 Hey, the wife comes in.

706.760000 708.440000 Babe, can you help me clean the house?

708.440000 709.440000 No.

709.440000 711.120000 I cleaned the outside.

711.120000 712.720000 I do the grass.

712.720000 713.720000 You do that.

713.720000 721.040000 We're going to split the chores.

721.040000 722.920000 Babe, can you help me wash my cart?

722.920000 723.920000 No, no.

723.920000 724.920000 I keep mine clean.

724.920000 725.920000 You keep yours clean.

725.920000 730.440000 It is wild, isn't it?

730.440000 735.360000 It's a 50/50 proposition.

735.360000 736.360000 That's a lie.

736.360000 738.880000 It's 100%.

738.880000 740.600000 You didn't marry your better half.

740.600000 743.000000 You married your better whole.

743.000000 745.840000 Never marry a half person.

745.840000 752.120000 Because you'll get a half-hearted effort.

752.120000 754.120000 Marry somebody that's whole.

754.120000 758.360000 Marry somebody that, hey, yeah, they're emotionally stable.

758.360000 760.760000 They're mentally stable, come on.

760.760000 769.720000 You are not called to be a missionary dater.

769.720000 779.720000 God did not call you to go find a mission field called a man.

779.720000 782.920000 That is not your job.

782.920000 788.320000 Don't go around looking for support for that foreign mission.

788.320000 789.480000 Not missionary dating.

789.480000 795.400000 If he's not saved, just wait on see if God's going to save him.

795.400000 800.240000 Find somebody that loves Jesus, not pretends.

800.240000 804.520000 They're men that come to church, they're not saved, they just come to church.

804.520000 807.200000 They're women that come to church, they're not saved, they just come to church because

807.200000 810.760000 it's a social activity.

810.760000 812.320000 Make sure they love Jesus.

812.320000 815.040000 Make sure that they're grounded in the Word of God.

815.040000 823.280000 Make sure that you're going the same direction before you ever say, I do.

823.280000 827.480000 Matthew 19, 4 through 6 says this, "Haven't you read?"

827.480000 835.240000 This is Jesus he replied that at the beginning, the creator made them male and female.

835.240000 840.440000 He made them what, male and what, female, open book test.

840.440000 849.360000 He said, "For this reason a man will leave his father, leave his father and mother, leave

849.360000 855.520000 his father and mother, even if he's a mama's boy, leave his father and mother, and be united

855.520000 861.200000 to his wife and the two will become what, one flesh."

861.200000 862.200000 What is Jesus doing?

862.200000 866.320000 He's repeating Genesis 2.24.

866.320000 869.960000 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the

869.960000 871.120000 two will become one flesh.

871.120000 873.440000 They were both naked and they felt no shame.

873.440000 880.600000 Jesus is going back to original intention and bringing a foundation to marriage.

880.600000 882.920000 That's what he's doing.

882.920000 884.440000 That's what he's doing.

884.440000 888.040000 And that marriage should not be built on lies.

888.040000 890.360000 It should not be built on exaggeration.

890.360000 892.920000 It should not be built on omission.

892.920000 896.760000 It should not be built on white lies and fabrication.

896.760000 902.960000 It has to be built on the truth of God's word, revealed in the person of Jesus white because

902.960000 905.520000 God wants us to be people of truth.

905.520000 911.000000 Proverbs 111 says, "This is the Lord to test this on his scales."

911.000000 915.040000 But accurate weights find favor with him.

915.040000 922.200000 Proverbs chapter 6, 16 through 19 says, "There are two things, six things, the Lord hates.

Proverbs 6 · chapter mention

922.200000 927.880000 Seven they are detestable to him, haughty eyes, a lying tongue."

927.880000 935.120000 Wow, a lying tongue, go all the way to the bottom, false witness who pours out lies.

935.120000 938.360000 God hates that.

938.360000 941.200000 God hates lies.

941.200000 951.120000 So if God hates that, guess what we as believers should hate, lies.

951.120000 954.200000 You know what the fear of the Lord is, Solomon said?

954.200000 961.000000 The fear of the Lord is to hate evil.

961.000000 963.120000 The fear of the Lord is to hate evil.

963.120000 969.480000 So God sees lying as evil, so I should hate evil because I fear the Lord.

969.480000 974.280000 If I don't have a healthy respect and reverence of God, I'll say the white law.

974.280000 978.800000 I'll exaggerate, I'll fabricate, I'll omit things that I should say.

978.800000 982.040000 Why? Because I don't fear God.

982.040000 989.720000 Because the proof of fearing God is to hate evil and become a person of the truth.

989.720000 996.160000 So as we grow in the Christian faith, we should continue to grow and want truth.

996.160000 1001.680000 Now that takes us to lie number four, but we're going to talk about this equation first.

1001.680000 1005.920000 It came from Craig Rochelle, who pastors live church out in Oklahoma City.

1005.920000 1013.800000 Half-hearted effort, plus half-hearted commitment equals wholehearted disappointment.

1013.800000 1017.160000 So I've got to put my whole heart into it, amen.

1017.160000 1019.800000 I've got to come to this marriage that God has ordained.

1019.800000 1021.960000 I've got to put my heart into it.

1021.960000 1023.600000 I've got to put my heart there.

1023.600000 1025.000000 My heart's not there.

1025.000000 1028.160000 My life's not going to be there.

1028.160000 1035.200000 Lie number three is this right here, marriage is a contract.

1035.200000 1040.120000 I know all of us understand what contracts are, their legalities.

1040.120000 1041.480000 We sign them.

1041.480000 1044.560000 When you bought your car, you signed a contract.

1044.560000 1048.560000 When you bought your house, you signed a contract.

1048.560000 1052.680000 When you got a credit card, you signed a contract.

1052.680000 1057.840000 When you went to Renaissance Center, you signed a contract.

1057.840000 1062.440000 Wherever you go, and there's a medium of exchange, there are contractual agreements

1062.440000 1064.360000 that you have to sign to.

1064.360000 1072.920000 Some of those contractual agreements are terrible, 29, 33% interest rate, terrible contract.

1072.920000 1074.680000 Don't do it.

1074.680000 1078.240000 Don't tie yourself to that.

1078.240000 1081.080000 But marriage is not a contract.

1081.080000 1088.040000 Jesus said, therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.

1088.040000 1091.440000 A contract can be gotten out of.

1091.440000 1094.480000 It can be violated.

1094.480000 1096.720000 What is a contract?

1096.720000 1103.880000 A contract is a legal agreement that outlines the conditions and terms between two parties.

1103.880000 1108.560000 If the terms are not fulfilled, the contract can be broken.

1108.560000 1109.880000 I'm out of this thing.

1109.880000 1111.680000 I'll get me a lawyer.

1111.680000 1112.880000 I'm going to jet.

1112.880000 1114.480000 I'm going to scoot.

1114.480000 1116.320000 I'm going to scudaddle.

1116.320000 1118.080000 I'm going to break the agreement.

1118.080000 1120.960000 The contract is up.

1120.960000 1122.600000 But marriage is not a contract.

1122.600000 1125.240000 That's a lie in our society.

1125.240000 1131.600000 Lady, if that man wants a pre-nump before he marries you, leave.

1131.600000 1132.600000 Leave.

1132.600000 1137.120000 It's not Hollywood.

1137.120000 1138.720000 You're not getting into a contract.

1138.720000 1140.400000 You're getting into a covenant.

1140.400000 1141.640000 A covenant.

1141.640000 1144.040000 What is covenant marriage?

1144.040000 1145.040000 What is a covenant?

1145.040000 1150.920000 A covenant marriage is a sacred agreement between a man, a woman, and God.

1150.920000 1151.920000 Yes.

1151.920000 1162.320000 So, in tangent, I came to the altar 31 years ago, when we came to the altar, I was there.

1162.320000 1163.320000 She was there.

1163.320000 1164.680000 The pastor was there.

1164.680000 1168.160000 But more importantly, Jesus was there.

1168.160000 1174.320000 God was there, given agreement to that covenant that was being made at the altar.

1174.320000 1184.760000 For better, offer worse and sickness are in health until death do we part?

1184.760000 1193.240000 It's not conditioned on the actions of the other, but a life-long commitment.

1193.240000 1201.640000 It's a life-long commitment based on what, love, and faithfulness.

1201.640000 1204.360000 I'm going to be faithful to you, baby.

1204.360000 1207.440000 You don't have to worry about my cell phone.

1207.440000 1211.280000 You don't have to worry about my language around the water court.

1211.280000 1214.520000 You don't have to worry about me looking at the lady.

1214.520000 1217.320000 You don't have to worry about the pornography.

1217.320000 1221.200000 You don't have to worry about all this because I'm a one woman, man.

1221.200000 1222.200000 Amen.

1222.200000 1224.480000 I got my eyes on one woman.

1224.480000 1226.400000 She has captured my heart.

1226.400000 1233.080000 I've been enthralled by her love, man, her eyes are deep as the blue ocean, her lips are

1233.080000 1236.400000 soft as any pillow, amen.

1236.400000 1239.800000 Her teeth are as white as a perfect cloud, amen.

1239.800000 1241.800000 I'm just going to preach up in here today.

1241.800000 1248.560000 I've been enthralled in her love, and I'm a one woman, man, and I'll hurt your feelings

1248.560000 1252.080000 if you try to get in between that.

1252.080000 1254.920000 It's like people say, man, I love Jesus, but I hate the church.

1254.920000 1257.640000 How can you love Jesus and hate His bride?

1257.640000 1258.640000 Come on.

1258.640000 1264.800000 If you love me, but you hate my wife, we're not hanging out.

1264.800000 1271.920000 You're preaching up in this Presbyterian church this month, amen.

1271.920000 1276.780000 So the nature of that commitment, the nature of that covenant is this unconditional love

1276.780000 1280.800000 and faithfulness, but here it is, what is love.

1280.800000 1286.560000 Love got to do it, got to do it.

1286.560000 1289.360000 Love is very important, but here's the problem.

1289.360000 1292.400000 We don't even know how to define it.

1292.400000 1300.080000 We think it's a feeling, oh, I want a feeling, more than a feeling.

1300.080000 1302.680000 You know it's more than a feeling.

1302.680000 1306.680000 Come on, man, have you ever noticed this at marriage?

1306.680000 1311.240000 One hour, man, you could eat that person's lips off.

1311.240000 1315.200000 The next hour, you could punch that person's lips off.

1315.200000 1316.200000 Why?

1316.200000 1327.080000 Because feelings change like the weather in Virginia Beach.

1327.080000 1332.400000 Love is not an emotional high that you get every other day.

1332.400000 1338.840000 Love is something that you commit to, that you give your life to, and you have laid down

1338.840000 1345.440000 your life in covenant just as Jesus laid down his life for the church.

1345.440000 1350.200000 The Bible says first, John 4, God is love.

1350.200000 1351.920000 God's not trying to love you.

1351.920000 1354.400000 He's not trying to decide to love you.

1354.400000 1356.560000 For God love is not a feeling.

1356.560000 1365.840000 It is who He is, and He showed us the extent of His love by giving His Son as a sacrificial

1365.840000 1369.400000 lamb on the cross.

1369.400000 1374.480000 That's love, love.

1374.480000 1379.080000 And so God didn't want us to be ignorant of love.

1379.080000 1381.360000 He gave us a definition.

1381.360000 1387.940000 This Corinthians chapter 13 gives us a 16-fold definition of love.

1387.940000 1395.280000 Here it is, love is patient, so I said yes, I said no.

1395.280000 1402.560000 Love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor

1402.560000 1409.640000 others, it is not self-seeking, it is not self-seeking.

1409.640000 1415.960000 Others don't wash the dishes because you're seeking something, it is not self-seeking,

1415.960000 1421.320000 it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, love does not delight in evil,

1421.320000 1428.520000 but rejoices with the truth, there it is, it rejoices with the truth, does not lie.

1428.520000 1438.480000 How many times in marriage do we slant the truth, and it becomes a lie?

1438.480000 1447.200000 We buy things and we hide it from our spouse, and we pull it out in six months, and your

1447.200000 1448.760000 spouse says, "When did you get that?

1448.760000 1452.160000 Oh, I've had that a long time, don't you remember?"

1452.160000 1457.000000 Man, that's a lie.

1457.000000 1463.280000 That's a lie, love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth, it always protects,

1463.280000 1473.400000 faith trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, love never what, fails.

1473.400000 1479.400000 Now God is love, so put God's name there.

1479.400000 1487.800000 God is patient, God is kind, God does not envy, God does not boast, God is not proud, God does

1487.800000 1492.360000 not dishonor others, go through that whole list.

1492.360000 1499.640000 But then you go to Ephesians 5-1, it says, "Be followers of God or imitators of God as we love

1499.640000 1501.200000 it children."

1501.200000 1507.240000 So if God is love, and He can put His name there, I need to learn how to put my name there,

1507.240000 1513.040000 Archie is patient sometimes, Archie is kind, Archie does not envy.

1513.040000 1517.680000 So I can put my name there if I'm going to be an imitator of God, does that mean I'm going

1517.680000 1523.560000 to be perfect? No, but that means I'm growing in grace and I'm moving toward completeness,

1523.560000 1528.880000 I'm moving toward perfection, and He who began a good work in me will perfect it until

1528.880000 1533.720000 the day of Christ Jesus, my Lord, how many, you know, as the years go by, I should look

1533.720000 1536.520000 a little more like Jesus every day.

1536.520000 1542.960000 Come on, if you look the same way 20 years after your salvation event, you stop growing,

1542.960000 1548.640000 you stop moving forward and faith, you need to look more like Jesus every day, and 20 years

1548.640000 1552.600000 into the future, people that you knew 20 years ago should look at you and say, "Man, I don't

1552.600000 1558.200000 even recognize who you are."

1558.200000 1564.360000 We need to grow, line up before, got a role, there's no hope for my marriage.

1564.360000 1568.800000 I mean, no, that's a lie.

1568.800000 1576.240000 Matthew says, "With God, all things are possible."

1576.240000 1584.640000 In Mark 9, a father comes to the disciples, his son is demon possessed, the demons are

1584.640000 1589.440000 trying to kill him, they throw him to the ground, they throw him into a fire, the disciples

1589.440000 1597.280000 could not deliver him, and they go to Jesus, this father comes to him and says, "Jesus,

1597.280000 1602.020000 if you can do anything, please save my son."

1602.020000 1614.520000 Verse 23, Jesus said, "If I can, all things are possible to them that believe, and maybe

1614.520000 1620.800000 you feel like the hordes of hell have got into your marriage.

1620.800000 1628.880000 I hear the words of Jesus, "All things are possible to them that believe."

1628.880000 1633.760000 I know there are marriages in here that are hard marriages.

1633.760000 1639.960000 Some of you have been through some hard times, you have been through some betrayal, you have

1639.960000 1643.200000 been hurt by words.

1643.200000 1647.880000 Some of you are in intense moments in your marriage, but all things.

1647.880000 1651.560000 I want to take a little rabbit trail right now.

1651.560000 1655.840000 I want to talk about abuse.

1655.840000 1662.760000 Maybe you're in a marriage that's very abusive physically, and you might be asking the question,

1662.760000 1667.480000 "Is it God's will for me to stay in a marriage where I'm getting beat up?"

1667.480000 1676.600000 I want to answer emphatically, "No, separate yourself from that immediately."

1676.600000 1678.400000 I'm going to tell you why.

1678.400000 1680.200000 I'm not telling you to get a divorce.

1680.200000 1689.200000 I'm telling you to separate yourself until that man or that woman goes get some healing

1689.200000 1699.440000 and some help and give it some time for that person to prove they have changed.

1699.440000 1703.920000 That is abandonment when somebody is beating up on you.

1703.920000 1710.200000 There are some people that are just under emotional manipulation by their spouse to the point

1710.200000 1716.000000 that they have been pushed down, they no longer have, they no longer feel human.

1716.000000 1717.520000 Sometimes you have to separate yourself.

1717.520000 1721.360000 It doesn't mean you don't love your spouse, it means you won't better.

1721.360000 1726.560000 You separate yourself until that person gets some counseling if you need help.

1726.560000 1727.840000 That's why pastors are here.

1727.840000 1729.840000 That's why we have trained counselors.

1729.840000 1738.040000 That's why we help people because in those situations, there needs to be some help.

1738.040000 1743.760000 Because sometimes there's never deliverance until there's healing.

1743.760000 1747.640000 Marriage is a holy thing.

1747.640000 1752.480000 Sex is a holy thing within the boundaries of marriage.

1752.480000 1755.160000 Sex is a beautiful thing.

1755.160000 1777.680000 I just wanted to clear it, I love sex with one woman, one woman, one woman.

1777.680000 1784.720000 I'm not going to bring other people into my marriage bed, one woman.

1784.720000 1792.160000 I'm not going to bring pornographic images into my marriage bed, one woman.

1792.160000 1798.560000 I'm not going to represent things that I see in pornography in my marriage head.

1798.560000 1799.560000 Why?

1799.560000 1805.600000 Because I don't view it.

1805.600000 1809.880000 The marriage bed is a holy place, say holy.

1809.880000 1811.480000 It's sanctified place.

1811.480000 1818.240000 It's a holy place, Hebrews 13 says marriage should be honored by all.

1818.240000 1824.440000 Respected, revered, exalted, lifted high by all, why would God say that through the Hebrew

1824.440000 1825.440000 writer?

1825.440000 1829.080000 Because marriage is the bedrock to any good society.

1829.080000 1836.800000 It starts with marriage and the marriage bed should be kept pure.

1836.800000 1839.360000 How do we keep our marriage bed pure?

1839.360000 1844.720000 Don't bring all that trash into it.

1844.720000 1847.880000 Don't bring other people into it.

1847.880000 1855.800000 Physically, emotionally, or mentally, are through the medium of media.

1855.800000 1856.800000 Keep it pure.

1856.800000 1860.640000 Can I make it more plain than that?

1860.640000 1861.640000 Keep it pure.

1861.640000 1865.120000 For God will judge, look here, God is judge.

1865.120000 1869.960000 I know you, Jesus loves me this, I know, for the Bible tells me so.

1869.960000 1876.800000 The judgment of God is the representation of the love of God.

1876.800000 1889.880000 God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

1889.880000 1898.200000 That word sexually, those two words sexually immoral comes from a Greek word, poignia.

1898.200000 1906.040000 It actually refers to prostitution and for those people who indulge in prostitution,

1906.040000 1918.680000 sex trafficking, indirectly, it refers to pornography.

1918.680000 1933.760000 Maybe robs you of your personhood, robs you of your sanity, robs you of your intimacy,

1933.760000 1945.360000 and put shame on you where Jesus came to take shame off you, sexual immorality is all sex

1945.360000 1952.360000 in any form outside of the covenant of marriage.

1952.360000 1965.000000 It's fornication before marriage and adultery after marriage, it's pornography, it's same sex.

1965.000000 1975.320000 God defined marriage and gave us a boundary for this beautiful thing called sexual intimacy.

1975.320000 1982.800000 God says when you make the marriage bet unholy, I'm going to deal with you.

1982.800000 1990.040000 Now He tries to deal with us privately and He comes after us in His grace and mercy.

1990.040000 1996.560000 But when we say we are believers and we refuse to repent of our sin, guess what?

1996.560000 2000.920000 He'll deal with us privately if we'll humble ourselves.

2000.920000 2009.760000 If we won't humble ourselves, there will be a public demonstration of God's judgment.

2009.760000 2013.760000 And I want you to understand what the judgment of God is, it's just not God spanking your

2013.760000 2016.040000 rear end.

2016.040000 2024.360000 Sometimes the judgment of God is God leaving you to your own devices and the repercussions

2024.360000 2032.760000 of your own decisions and the consequences of your decisions, because every action has

2032.760000 2036.000000 a corresponding consequence.

2036.000000 2042.480000 And some of what we call the judgment of God is no more than the harvest of the seeds that

2042.480000 2046.120000 have been sown.

2046.120000 2047.680000 So we have to humble ourselves.

2047.680000 2057.040000 Say, Lord, forgive me, I repent, repentance is not tears, repentance is a change of mind.

2057.040000 2066.840000 I'm going to change my mind and I'm going to turn toward you, I want you to stand.

2066.840000 2070.280000 There's hope for your marriage.

2070.280000 2078.360000 This is what Hebrews 6:19 says, we have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.

Hebrews 6:19

2078.360000 2084.560000 It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered

2084.560000 2089.640000 on our behalf.

2089.640000 2096.840000 We all know what an anchor is, it's us on a ship, we live in a sailing community.

2096.840000 2102.600000 Use on a boat, some people use it on a kayak.

2102.600000 2107.640000 Oftentimes we get a picture of an anchor being something that secures us in the storm, it

2107.640000 2114.640000 anchors us, it keeps us safe when the storm is raging, it secures our boat, it secures the

2114.640000 2116.280000 ship.

2116.280000 2123.200000 But in the ancient world, after doing a study of this and talking to Dr. Leonard Sweet,

2123.200000 2128.440000 again we began to discuss that in the ancient world when these boats would get in storms,

2128.440000 2134.400000 they didn't just use it to anchor themselves in the storm, they used the anchor to move forward

2134.400000 2137.040000 in the storm.

2137.040000 2141.440000 They would use two anchors and they would anchor out with two and then they would take one

2141.440000 2147.480000 anchor and throw it out as far as they could, pull up the other anchor and then pull the

2147.480000 2156.000000 rope and in the storm the boat could move forward because the anchor was secure into their future

2156.000000 2157.000000 horizon.

2157.000000 2163.560000 Can I tell you something, your future is brighter than your past.

2163.560000 2170.160000 You have an anchor, he is entered into the most holy place.

2170.160000 2176.040000 He is gone before us, when every person in this building today, that is married.

2176.040000 2179.200000 I want you to step out of where you are and I want you to meet him for and I want to pray

2179.200000 2180.200000 with you.

2180.200000 2184.900000 I believe this is a holy moment, as we end this series, you are married, I want my wife

2184.900000 2193.680000 to come up on the stage with me then.

2193.680000 2200.760000 Marriage is a beautiful thing, if you are single it is God's will that you get married unless

2200.760000 2205.880000 you have the gift of celibacy, I didn't have that gift.

2205.880000 2209.520000 All had it, I didn't have it.

2209.520000 2213.800000 Bible says it is better than married and to burn, I was burning.

2213.800000 2215.800000 So I got married.

2215.800000 2221.500000 Y'all come on up a little closer, let some folks come out of the aisle.

2221.500000 2228.600000 This is beautiful, this is beautiful, thank you Jesus.

2228.600000 2231.760000 There are people in here, you have been through divorce, you have been remarried, there are people

2231.760000 2237.080000 better they can come up front but you are in a divorce, you are going through divorce.

2237.080000 2242.720000 God doesn't hate you at all, he is not mad at you at all.

2242.720000 2246.240000 Sin has broken our world, Christ came to redeem it.

2246.240000 2251.040000 We want to pray over you, I want you to join hands, if your marriage partner is here today,

2251.040000 2253.960000 if your wife or husband is here, I want you to join hands, we are going to pray.

2253.960000 2259.480000 Lord, I just thank you that you have given us an opportunity, God to hear the truth of

2259.480000 2261.680000 your Word.

2261.680000 2270.600000 God I pray there will be much healing, Lord, as I pray.

2270.600000 2274.700000 God where there is pain, where there is loss, where there is disappointment, even abuse,

2274.700000 2284.240000 I just pray right now, that the Holy Spirit would come in and do it works supernaturally.

2284.240000 2287.720000 God this would be a turning point in marriages.

2287.720000 2295.480000 God that men would rise up and take responsibility for their maturity, not only in Christ but the

2295.480000 2303.440000 leading of their family, they will lead as Christ loved the church by sacrificing, by giving

2303.440000 2314.560000 themselves up and honoring their wife and their kids, even if it costs them.

2314.560000 2323.680000 And for wives today, I pray God for a deep sense of gratitude and humility and words that

2323.680000 2331.080000 encourage and strengthen, that they would be the helper, the ease or the rescuer, the savior

2331.080000 2337.360000 even God through their words and through their affirmation to their husbands.

2337.360000 2341.760000 God give us words that are seasoned with salt and honey.

2341.760000 2347.040000 They preserve and may they make life sweet.

2347.040000 2352.400000 I pray that supernatural grace would abound over every marriage in this place, that no weapon

2352.400000 2357.320000 formed against them would prosper.

2357.320000 2364.640000 God that lies would be exposed and truth will become the foundation of our homes.

2364.640000 2370.680000 God where we have lied, where we have manipulated, where we have fabricated, where we have exaggerated,

2370.680000 2375.480000 where we have omitted stuff Lord forgive us, we repent right now.

2375.480000 2381.280000 God it's a new day, it's a new day right now because of repentance and it's your goodness

2381.280000 2386.120000 that leads us to repentance.

2386.120000 2392.700000 God we can't change the past, it's in the tomb.

2392.700000 2396.200000 We can't change the future, it's in the womb.

2396.200000 2399.840000 We live in the present by your grace.

2399.840000 2407.260000 God I pray for communication to come alive, intimacy to come alive in these marriages,

2407.260000 2413.340000 that you would heal, that you would restore, that you would be a shield of favor of protection

2413.340000 2420.060000 around them in Jesus name and everyone said, amen I want you to stay right where you are.

2420.060000 2421.720000 Come on give the Lord a hand clap of praise.