Better Relationships

Music.

To the Generations Church podcast. We're so glad you've joined us today.

This is week two of our series titled Better. Last week, we kicked things off

by talking about better priorities as we dove into Matthew 6.33.

We learned that when we put Christ first, everything else in our lives begins to fall into place.

Today, Pastor Jeff continues the series by exploring what the Bible says about

building better relationships, relationships that draw us closer to the Lord

instead of pulling us away. Thanks for tuning in.

Music.

Let's dive into week two, Better Relationships.

We have been in a series the last few weeks called Better.

And a few weeks ago, we started it off and talked about better priorities.

And as the video just showed, it was about Matthew 6, 33, which says,

seek first the kingdom of God.

It's about getting better priorities in the new year.

And so we've really pushed hard about putting our priorities on the things that matter.

One of those priorities is being in church on Sunday, right?

Going to groups. I'm so proud of you guys. We had over 30 people that attended

our groups on Sunday and Monday at Perkins.

I'm not sure if they came for the pie or the coffee, but I know we didn't get

no pie. Could have ordered it.

But regardless, it's incredible that we've got so many people that are walking

through this discipleship pathway, and I'm really excited about that.

We paused our series last week, and we looked at Isaiah 61.1,

and we talked about the mission, which Mason.

Just mentioned earlier in the announcements, that we want everyone to know God

and to find freedom in their lives, to be set free from the sins that entangle us.

And then we want you to discover your purpose that God has given you,

because God's given each one of us a purpose to live out in our daily lives.

And once we discover our purpose, then we want to make a difference.

And here's, I put this, go ahead and put it, you already did. Wow, she's good.

This is what we looked at last week, just as a reminder in Isaiah 61,

that we are to proclaim as Christians, as children of God, this is what we proclaim to the world.

The good news to the poor.

We bind up brokenhearted people. We proclaim freedom from those who are captives,

who are prisoners of darkness.

We comfort everyone who's mourning. We provide for those who grieve.

We give them a crown of beauty instead of ashes and an oil of joy instead of

mourning, a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

This is our mission as Christ followers.

And if we're going to be effective at the mission that we've been given from

Jesus Christ, then we better have better priorities, like we talked about two weeks ago.

But then we're also going to, for the next few minutes, we're going to be talking

about better relationships.

Relationships play an incredibly huge part in the lives of each one of us.

Whether you're a believer or a non-believer relationships

have incredible influence on

the direction that you're headed how many of you

have ever heard the story of the chicken and the eagle wow one person two people

okay so let me just give this to you real quickly a synopsis so there was a

farmer who found an eagle's egg and he decided one day to put it with his chickens.

And so he put the eagle's egg in the chicken coop, and soon the eagle hatched

alongside all the other baby chicks.

And so he grew up believing that he was just like them, that he was indeed a chicken.

And so he scratched in the dirt for seeds, and he tried to cluck like the other chickens.

And guess what? He never, ever attempted to fly because he didn't know that

he could fly because he was a chicken.

One day, a majestic eagle soared overhead and he looked up and he looked at

all the chickens and he said, what's that? It's beautiful.

Look at that. It's gorgeous. Look how it soars and it flies.

Man, I would give anything to be able to do that.

Oh, that's just an eagle, said one of the chickens. They're majestic and they're

meant to fly high in the sky, but don't get any ideas.

You're just a chicken and we don't fly.

And so this chicken eagle believed the other chickens and spent the rest of its life,

scratching in the dirt, never realizing that it was meant for so much for, so much more.

Some of us we're walking around clucking like chickens and pecking at the dirt

and we believe that we're chickens when god has called you to more in your life

you've been called to soar you've been called for a purpose.

And we have to know who we are. And the people we surround ourselves with are

either going to lift us up toward our God-given potential, or they will keep

us scratching in the dirt.

Do you realize the impact of the people that you do life with?

This morning, I want to ask you a question.

Regardless of your age or where you're at in life, this is incredibly important.

Are your friends encouraging you and pushing you toward your God-given purpose?

Or are they dragging you down and are they making you settle for less?

Some of you, you need to surround yourself with eagles. Get rid of the chickens in your life.

And this morning, I'm just going to simply point you to five different passages of Scripture.

And they give us some characteristics about what a godly, healthy friendship

or relationship looks like and how it can benefit your life.

And I really do believe that if you apply these principles to your life,

they're going to help you discover your God-given purpose,

but they're also going to help you and they're going to keep you from experiencing

pain and consequences from surrounding

yourself with people that you don't need to be surrounded with.

Surround yourselves with wise and discerning companions who will uplift and

encourage you to cultivate wisdom and understanding.

That's what we need to do. If you have your Bibles with you or your favorite

app or your favorite scroll for Dean.

Just a little old person joke. One day he's bringing it. Turn with me to Proverbs 13, 20.

Proverbs 13, 20, if you don't have it, it's gonna be up here behind me, but it says this.

The one who walks with the wise will, say that word with me, become wise.

But a companion and fools will suffer harm.

Interesting. The one who walks with the wise will become wise,

but a companion of fools will suffer harm.

I like how the New Living Translation puts it. It says, walk with the wise and

become more wise, but associate with fools and you'll get in trouble.

You have two choices when it comes to the people that you surround yourself

with. They're either going to help you to become more wise or they're going

to cause you to get in trouble. That's what scripture says here.

So the first principle that you need to know, and everyone should have been handed a note sheet.

If you weren't, just go ahead and raise your hand and we'll get you one.

We want to make sure there's one down here, two down here, three down here.

So just grab a few and come down to this section over here.

But the first thing you need to know is that if you want to have a better relationship

or better friendships, you need to surround yourself, number one,

with wise and discerning friends.

I don't know about you, but I want to surround myself with friends who are going

to better me, who are going to build me up, who are going to make me more like Christ.

Friends that will uplift me and will encourage me.

Friends that will help me make wiser choices, that will help give me understanding.

And so we have to intentionally seek out to make our closest friends,

Friends that will raise the level of our wisdom, raise the level of our passion for Christ.

If you want to have wisdom, you need to surround yourselves with people who have wisdom.

It's pretty plain, isn't it? The alternative is harm, verse 20 says.

It's consequence. It's trouble.

Young people, the reason why we

want you to choose your friends wisely is because of what we want for you.

We want blessings for you.

We don't want consequences for you. We don't want trouble for you.

We don't want pain for you.

Many of us have walked that road previously in our lives, and we've had to learn

it the hard way, haven't we? You see, when you come to Christ,

most oftentimes your inner circle of friends changes.

The things that sinners do, we no longer have the desire to do.

Look what John says here in 1 John 2, 15.

Do not love the world or the things in the world.

For if anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

For all that is in the world, the desires of the flesh, the desires of the eyes,

and the pride of life, guess what?

It's not from the Father, but it's from the world.

If you walk with the wise, you're going to become wise. Now,

let me ask you a question.

Are we to have unsaved friends?

Yes, absolutely. We love them.

We have to love the world. We associate them. We're going to intentionally spend

time with them. But hear me out.

There's a difference between intentionally spending time with someone because

they're not yet a Christian and walking with them and doing life with them.

Those are two different things.

Your inner circle of friends should be those that build you up,

that are going to make you want to live for Christ.

So number one, surround yourself with wise and discerning friends.

And number two, we've got to cultivate our friendships based on trust,

loyalty, and reliability.

Trust loyalty and reliability proverbs 18 says one who has unreliable friends,

soon comes to ruin but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother,

do you know that the kind of friends you have can actually ruin your life it's

true imagine you have a group of friends and those friends go to parties and

they have fun and they're there for you in the good times,

but they vanish when the difficult times come or when you need advice or you.

Go through an emotional struggle or you lose someone or you just are alone and

you need help, they'll give support.

They won't give support or advice when bad things happen to you.

And maybe then they pull you down or they spread rumors or, you know, nobody wants that.

They'll ruin your life. They'll do damage. They'll pull you down.

In contrast, you and I, we need friends who will stand by us.

That will lift you up when life hits the fan, because guess what? It will.

When you're alone, when you need a shoulder to cry on or someone just to be

there, you need friends.

When there's a job loss or a spouse passes away, you need friends that will

help with meals, that will pray with you, that will encourage you,

that will build you up, that'll put an arm around you, that will do life with you.

You need friends who will listen to you without judgment, but who will love

you enough to speak the truth to you when it's needed.

That's a hard thing, but we need that.

Unreliable friends will lead you to disappointment and harm.

But a faithful friend brings strength and security. You pick.

What do you want? Do you want disappointment and harm? Or do you want a friend

that is going to bring you strength and build up your security and make you feel safe?

You see, reliable friends reflect the love and the faithfulness of Christ.

That's the kind of friends that we want. They build you up and they give you strength.

Number three, surround yourselves with friends who will positively impact your

spiritual growth and development. it.

We talk about it a lot here at Generations Church that the primary area,

the primary vehicle which growth happens, growth happens here on Sundays,

don't get me wrong, but you're going to grow a lot more when you're together

in a group and you're doing life together as a family.

That's why we're pushing Rooted, and that's why we're excited about those people

that are in those groups because we know that growth will happen.

Doing life with other believers helps us to grow and to develop.

But look what the opposite does. 1 Corinthians 15, 33.

I told you we were going to go through a bunch of scripture.

It says this, do not be misled.

Bad company, what does it do? Corrupts.

Bad company corrupts good character. There are two things that are taught in

this short little verse.

And for most of my life, I've heard that.

Bad company corrupts good character. bad company, corrupts, good character.

But the first thing that it says is, do not be misled.

Don't be misled, which implies this.

We are always being led by the relationships we have.

Do you get that? Every relationship you have is leading you somewhere.

It might be leading you down paths of righteousness, or it may be leading you

down a road that leads to destruction.

And the question that we need to ask ourselves is, where are your relationships leading you?

Because all of your relationships are leading somewhere.

Where are you headed? Who are you being led by? Which direction are they leading you in?

And then the second part of that verse says that bad company corrupts good character.

How many of you ever had a bowl of apples and placed a bad apple in the bowl

with them? What happens?

They all turn bad. They all start, doesn't that look delicious?

Mmm, makes me hungry. If you place one bad apple in a bowl of good apples,

the bad apple will always affect the others.

I had to Google it because I'm not that smart, and I wanted to know why.

And here's what I found out. This happens because a decaying apple releases

a gas called ethylene, which accelerates ripening and eventually the rotting

of the surrounding apples.

Over time, the good apples become spoiled simply because of their proximity to the bad ones.

The exact same thing happens

with our friends and who we surround ourselves with you're gonna catch what

you what the other person is giving off if you will when we walk in community

with the world rather than do life together with the body of christ we spiritually rotten.

The people you are closest to will either corrupt your character or they will build your character.

You hear me? The people that you're closest to will either corrupt your character

or build your character.

Be cautious of the company that you keep.

Because negative influences will lead you astray and they will harm your character.

Oh, pastor. I can hang out with them. They won't affect me. They won't change me. I'm strong.

Listen, chances are, if you're walking with the unwise, they have already begun

to change you, and you don't even realize it.

Did you ever hear about the frogs in the water when you were growing up?

If you don't know this, you can at least say you're learning something today.

Two frogs, not a very clear picture. It's a little blurry, but I liked it, so I used it anyway.

If you take a frog and you put it in

super hot water or boiling water you know

what it's gonna do it's gonna jump out because it

it senses the danger it knows it but

what happens if you put a frog in lukewarm

water and then you turn the stove on so it slowly heats up it stays in the water

until it's too late and the boiling water ends its life thought about trying

that today but I didn't want to gross any of you guys out. I'm just kidding.

Could have used my kids' turtles. Maybe see what happens with that.

But the same, oh, I know, I know. The same thing happens though when we surround

ourselves with ungodly friends.

At first, their influence, man, it seems harmless.

Maybe they talk us into a small compromise, watching things we shouldn't normally

watch, laughing at some jokes that we know aren't right.

But hey, they're our friends and we want to stick with them,

right? We want to hang out with them. We want to be accepted.

Then it's skipping out on church or youth group or fun plans.

And the changes are so gradual that we barely notice them. But over time,

those small compromises stack up.

And before we realize it, we've drifted far from God.

And like that frog in the boiling water, we find ourselves in a place of pain

and regret and eventual death, wondering how we got there.

The company we keep shapes who we are, and it either leads us closer to God or pulls us away.

Listen, you and I, we have to be intentional about our friendships.

We have to be intentional about our friendships.

God calls us to build friendships and relationships with people who encourage

and challenge and inspire us to walk in his ways.

Number four, we need to seek out friends who sharpen us.

Seek out friends who sharpen you. Proverbs 27, 17 says, as iron sharpens iron,

so one person sharpens another.

I am sharper because of the people I hang out with, the people that I allow into my inner circle.

I am so much sharper for those men that speak into my life, that hold me accountable,

that speak truth to me when I don't want to hear it, that love me when I'm unlovable.

But what happens when we're around people who dull us instead of sharpen us?

This is really important. What happens if you use a dull knife?

You know, you're using it wrong and you never sharpen it. What happens to the knife?

It loses its usefulness, right?

The same thing happens with us in our relationships.

As we allow ourselves to be around other people who dull us spiritually,

guess what that does to us spiritually?

It dulls us.

We lose our effectiveness as followers of Christ because we get so dull.

If you're here today and you feel like you're struggling to live out your purpose

and your calling, I would start by looking at the friends you're walking with in life?

Who are you giving ears to? Who is sharpening you? Who's dulling you?

You and I need friends who will sharpen us spiritually because being around

people who sharpen us, it's life-giving.

They challenge us to grow in our faith. They hold us accountable.

They point us back to Jesus when we're struggling. They encourage us to stay

sharp so we can cut through the challenges that give us wisdom and strength and purpose.

Who we surround ourselves has a direct impact on the kind of Christians that we want to become.

So if you want to remain sharp and effective and on fire for God,

you need to prioritize your relationships and,

Have ones that refine you and strengthen you, not ones that will dull your spiritual edge.

Number five, and lastly, seek out friends who uplift you and support you through life's challenges.

Man, don't you need that? I do.

When Jen was diagnosed with cancer almost nine years ago, when we moved back

here, we went to Cedar Valley Church.

There was a women's group that surrounded her.

They uplifted her and supported her. And if you'd ask her, I don't think she

would have said I could make it through without them.

That's how much we need godly friends.

Ecclesiastes 4 says, two are better than one because they have good return for their labor.

If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.

But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them.

Are you surrounding yourselves with friends? They're going to reach down when

you're down and they're going to lift you up.

That's my prayer for you today, that you would surround yourselves with people

who are going to encourage and build you up and pick you up when you're down.

There's a great picture of this found in the Old Testament.

Music.

We're going to wrap up here in just a second.

It's one of my favorite Old Testament stories. It's found in Exodus 17, 9 through 13.

It says this.

Music.

If you'd like more information about Generations Church, feel free to get in

touch with us at info at generationchurch.us or head over to our website,

www.generationchurch.us.

Thanks for listening.