Relationship Goals Week 3: "Guarding Your Marriage: Building a Strong Defense Against Spiritual Attacks"

Music.

Podcast. Today, we continue with week three of our series entitled Relationship Goals.

Last week, we learned that while God seeks to unite, the enemy works to divide.

In today's message, Pastor Jeff emphasizes the importance of having a plan to

safeguard our marriages and relationships against the enemy's attacks.

Music.

And now here's today's message.

Last Sunday was pretty special as well.

Hopefully, you were able to enjoy the Philadelphia you Eagles Super Bowl victory

with some friends and family.

I'm not bragging just because we used to live there.

And, you know, I wore my Eagles jersey last week and some of you wore red stuff and that's okay.

But I know our family especially was excited, especially when our Iowa boy Cooper Dejean, right?

He got the pick six and interception and man, they all played incredible.

But the story of the game for the Eagles wasn't Saquon Barkley,

their star running back, nor was it their standout wide receivers.

They all played really well.

Jalen Hurts, their quarterback, if you don't know, quarterback played an incredible

game, threw the ball with incredible accuracy, and he actually scrambled for

72 yards, which was more than Saquon Barkley.

He was the MVP of the Super Bowl, but even as good as he played,

he was not the reason why the Eagles are this year's Super Bowl champions.

And I'm not gloating. There's a point to this.

Well, maybe I'm gloating a little, but there's still a point to this.

Why was it such a lopsided blowout for the Eagles?

I think the headlines of the USA Today newspaper summed it up pretty well when

it said this on the front page. It said, Eagles defensive line delivers an all-time

Super Bowl masterpiece with the dismantling of the Chiefs.

Their six sacks was one more than the Giants recorded on February 3rd of 2008.

And the Eagles defense tied for the second most by a team in Super Bowl history.

Bob, you'll appreciate this. The Detroit Free Press, our Michigan boy back there, read this.

Eagles truly show that defense wins championships in Superbowl 59 win over chiefs players,

coaches, and fans saw an incredible defensive performance and they obliterated the offensive line.

And they literally had Patrick Mahomes running for his life.

Literally, it was awesome. You know, depending on who you cheer for.

Here's the point. The reason why so many marriages are dismantled and are destroyed

is because so many of us have not properly prepared ourselves and fortified

our marriages for the challenges that will come against us.

Last week, we talked about the fact that whatever God unites,

Satan tries to divide, which is why we must stay on mission in our marriages.

Because if we're going to have, be successful in our relationships and especially

in our marriages, we've got to have a game plan to protect and to defend our

relationships from a very real enemy who was out to kill,

to steal and destroy.

Hopefully you all, do you all have, did you all get sermon notes on your way

in here? Anyone not have those?

Okay. Good job, guys. Got them all out there. Here's the big idea that I want

you to take away this morning.

A strong, God-honoring marriage requires intentional defense against distractions and temptations.

Let me say that again. A strong, God-honoring marriage requires intentional

defense against distractions and temptations.

You know, the Apostle Paul understood this, and he warned us about this very

thing in Ephesians 6, verses 11 through 12.

Ephesians 6:11–12

If you've studied at all the book of Ephesians, you'll understand that the Apostle

Paul is writing to the people in the city of Ephesus,

and he's emphasizing the importance of unity and spiritual maturity within the

body of Christ and within the local church.

And then in the latter part of Ephesians, Paul transitions to some practical

applications for how you and I can keep unity.

And so in order to maintain harmony with the body of Christ,

but also in our relationships, Paul provides us with creative measures to equip

ourselves for the impending challenges.

He's saying you got to have a defensive plan.

Ephesians 6 says this, put on how much of the armor of God?

The whole. Put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

What does that mean, the wiles of the devil? Is he like wily coyote?

What does that mean? Well, the word wiles comes from the Greek word doulos,

and it means trickery and deceitful schemes.

It's not that he's just got a game plan against you. It's trickery.

It's deceitful schemes.

And then Paul continues and he says, for we wrestle not against flesh and blood,

but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness

of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Did you know that the father of lies, the prince of darkness,

and all the demons in hell are scheming against your life.

They're looking for kinks in your armor where you're weak. They're looking for

places that you might be vulnerable.

They study your marriage. They study your relationships.

They know what's going to frustrate you or what's going to get you angry.

They know the area of your life that's going to make you resentful,

or where you're hurting, or where you might lose trust.

Some of you need to be reminded that your spouse or your significant other is not the enemy.

Jennifer is not my enemy. You're fighting against spiritual forces of the dark

world, scheming to hurt you.

I want you to imagine, if you will, that you get an alert on your phone.

We get Amber Alerts. We get different alerts.

But what if it said there's a

criminal nearby and he's just broke out of prison and he's coming for you?

For you. This person's targeting you.

They're stalking you on social media. They know where you live.

They hate you. They hate your children.

They want to break into your house. They want to destroy your life.

They want to rob you of your belongings. They want to hurt everything that matters

to you, including your children.

What would you do? What would you do?

I think some of you would be on, on guard so much. It would be ridiculous.

You, you're going to warn your kids. You're going to be praying.

You might go buy a gun or two or just reload and get more ammo. I don't know.

Maybe put, excuse me, maybe put a better security system at your house or get

a security system at your house.

But the point is, is that you're going to do everything that you can to be ready

if someone is on the prowl to come steal, kill, and destroy everything that you love.

Everything that you value. You're going to be on guard.

And I think that's why Peter said in 1 Peter 5, he said, be sober-minded.

In other words, be alert. Your adversary, the devil, is prowling around like a roaring lion.

Listen, he's not a roaring lion, but he poses as one, and he'll surely be on

you and trying to attack you, but he's looking for anyone he can devour.

Anyone. Let me just remind you, you may think, man, I have the greatest marriage

ever. We have the best relationship. Guess what?

He's going to find a way to get into your heart and into your life.

Just take heed before you fall. Be on guard.

Whether you've been married five minutes or five years or 50 years or you're

in a relationship with someone, be on guard.

Peter tells us to stay alert and watch out for the devil because he prowls around

looking to devour someone.

What if I edited that verse a little bit, and I would never do that,

but what if I just said, watch out, your enemy prowls around like a roaring

lion looking for marriages to devour.

One thing we know about the devil is that he never announces his intentions to attack, does he?

He never says, get ready, Mason, I'm coming after you this weekend.

Or I'm coming to destroy your life, Lisa, I'm coming this weekend to destroy your life.

No, he's the father of lies and he attacks in two different ways.

The devil often attacks with distractions and with seductions.

With distractions and seductions. Let's talk about distractions for just a moment.

Eve in the garden, Eve was distracted by the serpent saying,

you know, don't you want this?

You can have this. This could be yours.

King Solomon, he loved God, but then he was distracted trying to please people

instead of trying to please the heart of God. What about Judas?

Man, Judas walked with Christ, saw the miracles of Christ, saw everything that

Christ had to offer, and yet he became distracted by the love of money instead

of the love for his Savior.

Satan distracts us or attacks us with distractions.

There's a powerful little verse in the Old Testament where Solomon was pursuing

a Shulamite woman, his beloved one.

And in the book of Song of Songs, if you've never read that,

after you're like 18, go ahead and read that.

You know, it'll be great for your marriage. So pretty good pickup lines.

If you're looking to pick up ladies with, hey, you have teeth like goats or

you have hair like sheep, you know, maybe don't try to use those.

But after he's got all these lines, you know, your neck is like the Tower of David.

Not sure how that would land on a date today.

But after these compliments, he changes his tone and he gets really serious.

And he says to his bride in Song of Songs 215, catch the foxes for us.

The little foxes that ruin the vineyards for our vineyards are in bloom.

What do the foxes do? Well, the foxes would go in and they would eat the blossoms

so that the blossoms would never mature and they would never have grapes.

These little tiny foxes, as cute as can be,

would destroy entire vineyards, destroy crops, destroy wages and income and

business, and eventually would even destroy their lives. Something so small.

What's he saying? He's saying, you've got to watch out for the little foxes,

those things in your marriage, those things in your life that seem so small

and harmless, you barely even notice them.

Because if they go unchecked, they're going to destroy the entire harvest.

And so our enemy, he knows us and he tries to distract us with little foxes.

I came across a post on Instagram last week that gave a list of what they called marriage killers.

And there was like 30 of them. And I'm not going to give them all to you today.

But I thought, man, this is such a great example of little foxes that get into

our lives and especially in our marriages.

Here's what it says. Laziness.

Suspicion. Lack of trust. Little foxes. Hatred. Unforgiveness.

Anger, unnecessary arguments. You ever have those? Isn't it true that most of

our arguments are over the most minuscule, dumb stuff?

It's crazy. I don't know why she ever fights about it.

She's not here today. She's sick, so it's okay for me to say that. I'll edit that part out.

Keeping secrets, financial secrets, material secrets, more communication, lies.

That's a little bigger fox. Here's one.

Prioritizing parents and family over your spouse.

Listen, we talked about last week, God is your one and your spouse is your two.

How about this one? being careless with your talk, putting down your spouse

in front of others, love of money, love of partying,

impulse buying, lack of financial discipline, exposing your spouse's inadequacies to others,

neglecting spiritual practices and not praying together.

We've been talking about praying together, the importance of it.

I hope you're doing that.

I hope you're, even if it's just a, hey, babe, have a great day.

Lord, let me just pray over you real quick.

Pray. Pray. It's important.

Not providing security for your spouse. Lack of knowledge and obedience to the Word of God.

You know, some of these are bigger things. Some of them are smaller.

And we often don't pay attention to the little minuscule things.

And I don't know what yours might be, but perhaps the devil tries to distract

you with the little fox of comparison.

My husband isn't as romantic as that guy.

Why can't you be more like him?

Jen probably gets that all the time. I'm just saying. Listen to me.

The little foxes, they light fields of destruction and they light a life on fire.

Maybe it's little nitpicky things

that we think are ridiculous or small or meaningless and insignificant.

I don't like the way you drive, babe.

I don't like the way you walk. I don't like the way you chew.

My wife grew up in the panhandle of Florida, y'all.

And when she talks on the phone, she sounds like a redneck. not as much now

as she used to, but I'm just saying she can chew gum with the best of them.

And I'm just like, babe, come on. You're starting to look like your mother.

Let me preface looking like your mother in the way you're chewing only.

Guys, come on. The bottom line is this.

The devil knows where you are vulnerable.

The devil knows where you're vulnerable and he'll attack whatever triggers your anger.

He'll attack whatever triggers your insecurities or your fears.

He'll tell you you're no longer compatible and you maybe made a mistake by marrying this guy or this girl.

He'll talk you into believing lies that you have an excuse for neglecting your

marriage and working on it.

He'll even give you reasons why God would want you to be happy.

And you should just get a divorce. Satan will get you to believe,

this isn't God's will for me.

He attacks with distractions, the little things that will take you off track

and bring division because the devil hates what God loves.

The devil also uses seduction and sexual temptation to take us away from God's plan.

I read this week now that 60% of divorces cite pornography as a contributing factor to the divorce.

60% of divorces. Listen, pornography will creep into your life so slowly.

You'll look at something that's halfway innocent and you'll give a reason why

it's okay and that it's not that bad.

And then slowly you become callous and then it's deeper and then you're callous and then it's deeper.

And soon you're viewing pornography once a week or once a day or several times

a day and you're addicted.

Ephesians 5.3, Paul knows the importance of this, that sexual temptation is

a big deal for every one of us who are human. And that's all of us.

That's why Paul said this in Ephesians 5.3, but among you, specifically you,

because listen, you're supposed to be holy.

You're supposed to be the church. You're not supposed to look like the world.

You're supposed to look different.

But among you, there must not be even a hint. Say hint.

Not even a hint of sexual immorality or of any kind of impurity or of greed. Why?

Because these are improper for God's holy people. Not even a hint.

You need to hear me.

Sins come into the little foxes of your life when you give a little hint of impurity.

And listen, we don't want to open the door in any way for the darkness to come

in because we are God's holy chosen people.

Let's do a little test because I think a lot of us, we lose our sensitivity.

So let me just give you some scenarios and you just tell me if you think this

is, if there's a hint of sexual immorality or impurity. Okay. Is it clear?

Yeah. Okay. Okay. So if you lie to your spouse and go have sex with someone

you met online, would that be a hint of impurity?

Okay, that one's really obvious, right? We just threw it out there.

We're starting with the big guns. All right, what about this?

What if you just watch porn on your phone?

Hint? Is there a hint? Hint?

Yeah, absolutely. What if instead of watching porn, you just watch inappropriate

stuff on Netflix or Hulu or Prime or whatever you use?

Hint? Yeah, absolutely. But there's no nudity. They're under the covers,

so it should be fine. Still a hint?

Sounds like a hint to me. What about dressing provocatively in a way that might

draw attention to yourself?

Yeah, a hint. What about posting photos on your social media that are a little

suggestive, even though they're technically, you know, they're okay,

but you're doing suggestive stuff. Hint?

Yeah, there's still a hint. What about having borderline inappropriate conversations

with someone through text or Facebook Messenger that you shouldn't be having with?

Absolutely. Absolutely.

But Pastor Jeff, some of these are so small. I'm just trying to help them.

I reached out to them because I want to be their friend.

They're going through something and they just need a friend. Hey, that's great.

But you can't be that friend if you're of the opposite sex. That's not your

place to be that friend. That's a little fox area.

God says, not even a hint. We're not going to tolerate any type of darkness.

No impurity. What's impurity?

It's poison. It's poison. Imagine there's a line across the stage here and there's

a sinful line and on the other side is poison.

Maybe it's a poisonous snake or tarantula or I don't know, whatever, whatever.

Pick your poison. I don't care. Whatever it is. Am I going to get as close to

the line, as close as I can to it?

Or am I going to get as far away as I possibly can?

You've got to run from it.

Don't even get close to the line. I'm standing over there because if I step

across that line, guess what?

I'm vulnerable and I'm going to be in serious danger.

I think this is one of the reasons why Solomon wrote in Proverbs 4.

He said, keep off the path of the wicked.

Don't proceed on the way of evil ones.

Avoid it. Don't travel on it. Turn away from it and pass it by.

I think he was pretty clear about what we're supposed to do there.

In these short two verses, he gives us four instructions.

He says, avoid it. Guys, avoid it. Don't even go in the direction of it.

Avoid it. And then when you, what if you happen on it and you're like,

should I take the path? No.

He says, don't travel on it. Don't just not travel on it. Then he says,

turn from it. Walk the other direction.

Walk the other direction. Pass it by. Don't even give a glimpse to it.

Go on your way. Keep moving. Don't get distracted by things that will lead you to destruction.

You may think that you're not hurting anyone with your actions and that you

have it all under control.

Proverbs 14 says, there is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.

You may think your viewing is harmless.

You may think that your texting or messaging or snapping or whatever you're

doing with someone is harmless.

But I want to throw caution to you. What you don't realize is that it will end in destruction.

It will end in pain and ultimately to spiritual death.

That's why it's so important. We must distance ourselves from anything that

might compromise or hurt any part of our marriage or our relationship.

We've got to distance ourselves from it. I don't want anything to do with it.

I don't want to compromise my marriage. I don't want to hurt my marriage.

If we're vulnerable to looking at something on our phone, we're going to limit

our access to what we can look at on the phone.

If there's a person that we shouldn't be engaging with, we're certainly not

going to go have lunch with that person alone.

Jen and I have a standard in our marriage that we will not meet with someone alone.

We won't do it. We won't ride in cars. I won't. If I'm meeting with someone,

a female, I'm not riding in a car. I'm not going to be here at the church alone.

I'll always make sure, hey, babe, I'm supposed to counsel a lady.

Can you come to church with me and hang out and we'll keep the door open?

Why? Because she doesn't trust me? No, she trusts me.

Is it because of my incredible good looks? Well, obviously it's not that.

No, it's because we want to take the high road. we do not want to give even

a hint, even a hint that we would make a choice that would lead to destruction.

We have to distance ourselves in any way and every way we can from the things

that can harm us or can attack our relationships.

Seems a little harsh, a little over the top. No.

Why is that? Because we protect what we value.

You have stuff in your garage that you value.

You're going to do things. You're going to get a security system.

You're going to have cameras.

We protect what we value. So why would we not want to protect and go the extra

length to protect our relationship?

We've got to do everything we can. Man, I value my relationship with my wife.

And even more than I value my relationship with the Lord, I want to honor Him.

That song that we sang, you know, the chorus was day and night,

night and day, let incense arise.

What the heck are they talking about? Are we like lighting up some incense? No.

In the Old Testament, it talked about incense going up to the Lord and it was pleasing.

It was a sacrifice of the Lord. And we're singing this song,

day and night, night and day, let incense arise.

Man, it's a beautiful song. What is that? It's that every day,

every night, everything that we do gives a pleasing fragrance.

May it be an act of worship to the Lord Jesus.

The way I parent should be a godly offering to the Lord.

The way I love my spouse should be an offering to the Lord.

The way I do life, the way I work, the way I teach, the way I do this.

Everything should be a life of pleasing the Lord.

Why in the world would you want to fight temptation in the future when you have

the power to eliminate it today?

Some of us, we need to close the door on some of our habits or maybe some of our viewing.

The devil's coming for you, and he wants you to compromise even in the smallest ways.

And really, there's two groups of people here today. There's one extreme that

says, well, Pastor Jeff, you're going a little overboard. I mean,

I don't have lunch with people of the opposite sex.

I mean, that just sounds ridiculous.

This isn't for me. My marriage is perfect. My relationship is perfect.

Then there's that other side that says, man, you have no idea how messed up I am.

I'm so caught up in my sins. I can't get out.

The good news is that for both extremes, Paul talks to both at the same time

in 1 Corinthians chapter 10, and he says this to the first ones who think that

1 Corinthians 10 · chapter mention

they could never fall. He says,

so whoever thinks he stands must be careful not to fall.

Never think that falling is beyond you, because as soon as you think that falling

is beyond you, that's when it's going to happen. That's when it's going to happen.

And to the one who says, I'm stuck and I can't get out, I'm struggling with

addiction, I'm struggling with screens, I'm struggling with this,

I'm struggling with that.

This is what he says. No temptation. Say no temptation with me. No temptation.

Say it again. No temptation. No temptation.

There is no temptation, Paul says, that's come upon you except what is common,

to man, to humankind, to humanity.

But God is faithful. I circle that in my Bible.

But God is faithful. He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able to.

A lot of people take that verse out of context.

God will never give you too much you can't handle. No, yeah,

there's a lot of times God gives you too much that you can't handle.

He's talking about temptation here.

He's saying you will never be too tempted where he doesn't provide a way out.

In every situation that you find yourself tempted in, he will never allow you

to be tempted beyond what you are able to bear.

But with that temptation, I love this, He also will provide the way out so that

you may be able to bear it.

Every time you come to a T in the road and you have an opportunity where you

can choose to view something, you can choose to do something that is sinful,

you have an opportunity at that moment to not look at it, to not give in,

to not travel down the road.

You have the opportunity to turn from.

Music.

I said it earlier, and I believe this. You're not here by accident today.

You're here because God wants to meet with you.

God wants to remind you that there is a way out.

For those of you who are not married yet, you might be thinking this is an easy

message just to sit through while you beat up the married people.

Ain't nothing for me here. No, listen to me.

Music.

The devil will attack you he will find your weakness you've got to put on the whole armor of God,

he wants to distract you he wants to seduce you he wants to take you away from your first love,

if you're really really honest,

I think a lot of us would say we're not pursuing hard enough after the Lord.

We're not pursuing him as much as we could.

Jeremiah said, seek him with all of your heart. When you seek him with all your

heart, you will find him. It's a promise.

So we've got to be alert. We've got to be ready. We have to be prepared.

And so on that paper there, there's two questions.

On the back side, one question for you. If you're married, I want you to be

prepared to discuss this with your spouse.

Write down the answer to this.

In our marriage, where are we currently most vulnerable to spiritual attacks?

Music.

Where are we most vulnerable? What are we going to do to protect our marriage,

to protect our relationship?

Is there an area that we need to, maybe there's, you know, that wall over there

is getting a little weak.

I don't know what it is. Only you and God can.

If you're not married, let's just make it singular. Where am I most vulnerable to spiritual attacks?

And I'm going to say this. In this generation, man, they've got temptation like

none of their generations before.

The things that they can view on their phones, the websites they can go.

There are apps that hide other apps that hide other apps.

Making it nearly impossible for parents to protect their kids.

Parents.

Music.

What you value. And I know you want to protect your marriage.

And I know you want to protect your life.

So go all out.

Put on the full armor that you may be able to stand.

Some of you are broken. And you just want to stand.

You want to have victory in this area.

To the men, I want to say this. Actually, ladies, let's start with you. Ladies first.

In your marriages, if you're tempted to criticize or to be resentful,

tempted to be angry or gossip or what, you may even have the right to be angry,

but I just want to encourage you, as best as you can, turn that energy, that anger,

that resentment into prayer.

Invoke the power and the presence of God in any way that you can.

And man, I'm not going to be as nice to you. Do all that. But if you're passive,

guys, it's time to get off.

I had a pastor, old Baptist pastor, he say, it's time, fellas,

for you to get off your blessed assurance.

I guess that was like his clean way of saying, Get off your butts, guys.

Be the men that you're called to be. Lead your family.

Lead your family to Christ. Lead them to church. Lead them to youth group. Be a fighter.

Fight for the things you value.

Fight for you. I know there's no man in here that doesn't want to do that.

So ask yourself those two questions. I'm going to pray, and then the worship

team is going to come and close us out in a song.

I do want to say thanks again for being here. I know you had a choice.

You could have gone to Bedside Baptist or River.

What do you say, Paul?

Open Sky Bible. That's what he says when he's out fishing. Open Sky.

So thanks for being here. Appreciate it. keep Jen and I and Lisa.

We are traveling down to a pastor's conference and really excited about that.

So we will be driving our minivan down to Texas tomorrow.

So be praying for us for safety and that God would just fill us up and we're excited to come back.

I'm super excited for Lisa to be going with us and to get to experience all

this stuff so let me pray and then we'll close out with worship Heavenly Father

thanks for each person that's here today.

Thank you for an intimate family setting today,

I know even with the number of people that are in here, that there are people

that are struggling with their relationships.

They're not honoring you and they want to be. I pray that you would convict

them, that you would give them a way out.

If there's anyone that's struggling with addiction or pornography or inappropriate

relationships or communication,

God, I pray that you would convict them and that you would help them to fight

for their relationships, help them to fight for their marriages.

When it comes down to it, God, we want to be all about pleasing you every day

in our lives in the way that we parent, in the way that we're friends, in the way that we work.

And everything we say and do, we want to honor you. We want to give you glory.

It's all about you. So would you, by the power of your Holy Spirit and the word

of God, would you empower us to put on you.

Music.

To put on the full armor of God so that there would not even be a hint of impurity in our lives.

We ask it in your name. Amen.

You've been listening to the Generations Church podcast. If you'd like more

information about Generations Church, feel free to get in touch with us at info

at generationchurch.us or head over to our website,

www.generationchurch.us.

Thanks for listening.

Music.