PRAYER - Psalm 51 - Only God Can Judge Me

Welcome to the City Covenant podcast.

We are a warm, welcoming church located in downtown Spokane, dedicated to practicing the way of Jesus in the heart of the city.

Please join us as we dive into the Word of God together.

Okay, four eighty-nine.

Psalm fifty-one starts with fun word, a superscription.

That's those tiny little words in italics there before the psalm starts.

And fun fact that maybe you do or do not know in your Bible, like the section headings that come, like David again spares Saul's life or Jehoaz King of Judah, those section headings are not actually scripture.

Like editors and translators added them in.

And that's why in different translations or versions of the Bible, you'll have section headings, maybe in different places or with different titles.

But the superscriptions, those little introductions to the psalms, those are scripture.

They have been there from the original manuscripts, and they are actually a part of our canon.

They are the word of God, whereas the section headings in other books of the Bible are not.

So this is actually a part of the psalm, this superscription that we start with.

And so before we even dig into the meat of the psalm, the prayer that David actually prayed, we have to start with the superscription.

So it says, for the director of music, a psalm of David, when the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

So some of the superscriptions, like in Psalm 50, are very simple.

A Psalm of Asaf.

Not much to dig into there.

We can almost just ignore it.

But here there's a lot of detail, and there's a lot.

And so this tells us like this psalm has a context.

Something happened.

So before we read this psalm and dig into it, we're going to flip back in our Bibles to 2 Samuel chapter 11 and figure out, which is probably a familiar story, but a quick review of what was happening when David prayed this psalm.

2 Samuel 11 · chapter mention

2 Samuel chapter 11 is on page 266.

2 Samuel 11 · chapter mention

So, like I said, the story is probably familiar.

For some reason, we teach it to our Sunday school kids.

Why?

But there it is.

So David, it is spring at the time when kings go off to war, and David sent Joab out with the king's men and the whole Israelite army.

So already this is a problem because David is the king, and kings are supposed to go off to war, which is a tragic part of our history, but there it is.

And David is not where he is supposed to be.

And he is awake and he's out on his roof and he sees this woman, Bathsheba, as she is bathing, doing her ritual purification bath after having her period.

This was like a part of the Jewish purity laws.

So she is doing what she is supposed to do: honoring God, following the law, and David is not, and he sees her, and he wants her, and he is the king and has all the power.

And so he sends people to go get her.

And then he sleeps with her, even though she is married to someone else, actually to a soldier who is out fighting where David is supposed to be.

And he sleeps with her and she becomes pregnant, which is a problem because her husband has been off at war.

And so she sends word to David, and she's like, You did this terrible thing, and now I'm pregnant.

What are you gonna do about it?

So David sends and brings Uriah home from battle to like bring news of the battle, and hopes his plan is then Uriah will go home and also sleep with Bathsheba, and then the pregnancy will like, in theory, everyone will think it's his instead of David's.

But Uriah is honorable and he says, All these other soldiers don't get to come home and be with their wives.

I will sleep with the soldiers in the camp.

And then he goes back to war.

So David is now in a bit of a predicament, and he once again chooses to try and cover up what has happened.

And so he sends word with Uriah to his commander to make sure to place Uriah in a part of the battle where he will for sure be killed.

So this is a terrible story, you guys.

David rapes Bathsheba, gets her pregnant, and then murders her husband to cover it up so that he can then, after the appropriate-ish amount of time has passed, marry Bathsheba, and everyone can just like, you know, look the other way and pretend that the pregnancy was David's.

Okay, so this comes to the end of chapter 11.

He marries Bathsheba, she gives birth to this son.

So David, we can all agree, has sinned.

Yes, yes, multiple times over.

And David, for all his faults, he is not an idiot.

He may act pretty stupidly from time to time, or more often, but he is not an idiot.

And he knows that what he has done is wrong.

He tried to cover it up, after all.

And we don't typically try to cover up things that we think are honorable and good.

So David already knows that he has sinned, but he has tried to cover it up and keep it hidden.

And so this is this pattern that we can see throughout scripture and in our own lives from the very beginning, when Adam and Eve first disobey God in the garden.

Is that we sin and we feel guilt or shame or some combination of the two, and then we try and hide.

Okay, this happened with Adam and Eve in the garden.

They ate the fruit, and then they tried to hide, and God comes and says, Where are you?

Why are you hiding from me?

I already actually know what happened.

And David rapes Bathsheba, tries to cover it up, can't, so then murders her husband, and also tries to cover it up.

Okay, he has sinned, he feels guilt and shame, and he tries to hide.

So this is the pattern.

And David himself may even be in denial about the gravity of what he has done.

But this pattern of sin leads to guilt and shame, leads to hiding.

This is something we see over and over and over again.

So David does know that he has sinned, and it's not a surprise that it is sin, but he thinks that he has been able to use his power and position to avoid the consequences of his sin.

And then we come to the very last verse of 2 Samuel chapter 11.

2 Samuel 11 · chapter mention

But the thing David had done displeased the Lord.

Which I feel like is like one of those understatements.

Like, yes.

And so then, chapter 12, the Lord sent Nathan, who was a prophet, to David.

So David thinks he's gotten away with it, he thinks he's covered it up, but God knows it is not hidden from God.

And God sends this prophet Nathan to come and confront David with his sin.

And Nathan tells this story to David about a man, about two men, a poor man who has one sheep, and a rich man who has many sheep.

And the rich man, when he has a guest come, takes the poor man's sheep and kills it to serve to his guest.

And David is infuriated with this story.

This man has done a terrible thing, and he deserves to be punished.

And tell me who is this man?

I will make sure justice is done.

And Nathan just looks at him, and we are in verse 7 then.

Nathan said to David, You are the man.

Yikes.

So David already knows that what he has done is wrong, because when he's confronted with this similar story, he knows it is wrong.

And Nathan says to him, You are the one who has done this.

David cannot hide anymore.

It is out in the open.

His sin has been revealed.

And David then says to Nathan, in verse 13, Nathan talks to him, says, This is the consequences.

Verse 13, David says to Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord.

So David realizes in that moment that his sin that he thought was hidden, and that he knew he had done wrong against Bathsheba, and he knew for sure he had done wrong against Uriah.

He realizes in this moment that he has actually not gotten away with it.

That this sin against Bathsheba and Uriah is even bigger than that and is also against God.

God knew and God saw from the whole time.

Nothing was hidden.

And so this is the moment where we have this psalm.

Psalm 51.

Perhaps David said it to Nathan, and we just don't have it recorded in Scripture.

Perhaps later, as David is reflecting on this moment and this season of his life, he writes this psalm.

But this psalm, Psalm 51, is David's prayer of repentance and confession in this moment that he realizes the gravity of his sin, of what he has done against Bathsheba and Uriah.

So now we can all flip back to page 489 and read Psalm 51 together.

Should have kept my finger in it, you guys.

There we go.

So Psalm 51.

For the director of music, a Psalm of David, when the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love, according to your great compassion, blot out my transgressions.

Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.

Against you you only have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge.

Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me, yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb.

You taught me wisdom in that secret place.

Cleanse me with hyssop and I will be clean, wash me and I will be whiter than snow.

Let me hear joy and gladness, let the bones you have crushed rejoice, hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me, restore to me the joy of your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways so that sinners will turn back to you.

Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God, you who are God my Savior, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare your praise.

You do not delight in sacrifice or I would bring it.

You do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart you God will not despise.

May it please you to prosper Zion, to build up the walls of Jerusalem.

Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous, in burnt offerings offered whole, then bowls will be offered on your altar.

This is the word of the Lord.

Thanks be to God.

Alright.

So Psalm 51.

Probably parts of this psalm are very familiar, right?

Created me a clean heart, O God.

At least I grew up singing that song.

Anyone else sing that song?

Okay.

Um have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love.

But I don't know how often I or anyone else has read this psalm in its entirety.

Straight through.

And as I studied this week, I noticed that this psalm kind of falls into two parts.

So the first part is verses 1 through 12, which is really inward-focused.

It's about David and what's happening in him and between David and God.

And as we look at what this Psalm has to teach us about how we confess and repent, we can then take that and say, okay, so what is it about what's happening in me and what's happening between me and God in a moment of confession?

And then the second part, starting at verse 13, verses 13 through 19, turns and looks outward.

Then how will David respond given God's mercy on him?

How will David respond to God?

And how will David respond publicly in the community and to those around him?

So that's the two parts, and we're going to start and look at these first 12 verses.

And it starts with the first half, first verses 1 through 6, looks at inward.

I have sinned, and God, this is not what you want for me.

Right?

Have mercy on me, blot out my transgressions, wash away my iniquity.

You know my transgressions.

I have sinned against you and done what is evil in your sight, but you desired faithfulness and you taught me wisdom.

I have sinned, and God, this is not what you wanted for me.

This is how we all can start these moments of confession with honesty about what has happened and that it is not what God wanted for us.

And then in verse 7, it turns and David says, Cleanse me and make me new.

Okay, this is to sum up verses 7 through 12.

Cleanse me and make me new.

I have sinned, and this is not what you want for me.

So cleanse me and make me new.

Because God wants wholeness for us.

And he offers his forgiveness to us even as we are still sinners, right?

While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

So I have sinned, and this is not what God wanted for me.

So God cleanse me and make me new, created me a pure heart.

Don't take your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation and sustain me.

So we bring our confession to God, and God is faithful and just to forgive us.

And we know that God gives us his Holy Spirit, who is always with us.

So if we look back at this pattern that I talked about before, where sin leads to guilt and shame, which leads to hiding, then we can see that confession undoes this trajectory.

It reverses it.

Confession reveals, so now there's no more hiding.

And that allows God to forgive us and bring freedom in Jesus so that we can be healed and whole and do the things that God has called us to do in this world.

So that's our first part.

I have sinned, and this is not what you want for me, so cleanse me and make me new.

And then we turn to verse 13, where David starts looking outward.

I will teach transgressors your ways so that sinners will turn back to you.

My tongue will sing of your righteousness, my mouth will declare your praise.

My sacrifice is a broken spirit, a contrite heart.

So I will turn back and offer praise to God and do the things of God.

Right?

David's example, as he confessed, hopefully led to space for more healing for those he had harmed.

And then it turns to verse 18 and 19, where he starts talking about Jerusalem.

And this can feel a little like tacked on or out of place at first, until we remember that David, while an individual person who had sinned against individual people, Bathsheba and Uriah, and also those that he, you know, brought into working and doing this with him, those who went to get Bathsheba and the army commander who had to carry out the order to make sure Uriah was killed.

In addition to being an individual person who sinned against individual people, David was also king of the whole country of Israel.

And his sin affects the whole country.

His sin had repercussions bigger than the individuals that he harmed.

Because leadership actually matters, and spheres of influence have influence.

And so David's confession and repentance and asking of God to restore and make things new had to also include this whole country that he had leadership and influence over.

So David offers us this model of confession to start inward, us and God, what is happening, where have I sinned against you and others?

And then David turns and looks outward.

What is my response to God as I work for reconciliation and healing and wholeness?

And even to the community, to those outside where the specific harm or sin took place, but who are still affected by it.

And this model of confession, starting inward, looking outward and beyond is something that we uh confession as a whole at all is something that we uh white mostly North American evangelical Christians are not very good at or practiced at.

We have inherited such an individualistic faith that the practice of confessing to one another, or even maybe to God, if we are honest, just isn't something that we do.

We don't have much experience with it.

We do, I know at our church, and I know here, do these communal prayers of confession, which are wonderful.

They put words to things that we maybe can't put words to.

And I find at least for me, sometimes it can be, well, I prayed that communal prayer of confession, so I'm just covered, and I don't have to actually think about any specifics from my own life.

I just, I said the words and I confessed.

I know I sinned, and that and now it's forgiven.

And I don't have to actually face any of the specific sins that I have done.

And confession in this

Specific personal way is really scary because it can be very scary to be that vulnerable.

To admit that we were wrong, that we might have hurt someone on purpose or accidentally.

It is scary to admit that our actions, even, might be contributing to the brokenness in the world at large.

And I don't want that to be true.

I don't want to be contributing to brokenness anywhere.

So if I just like close my eyes and cover my ears and don't admit it, then maybe it's not true.

Right?

It's like the little kids, right, who are playing hide and seek and just like, you can't see me because I can't see you.

It didn't happen.

Because sin leads to guilt and shame, which leads to wanting to hide.

So we don't actually want to confess these sinful, broken, messy parts of us because we want to keep them hidden even from ourselves.

I don't want to know the things I have done that have hurt people, because then I will be sad.

Right?

So I will just keep it hidden even from myself.

Because then I won't feel sad.

And everything will be great.

But confession, ultimately, while scary and painful, because it reveals these hidden, messy, broken parts, ultimately leads to knowing our own forgiveness that we have in Jesus and to freedom from our sin and to healing and wholeness so that we can live into the fullness of who God made us to be and contribute to the healing of ourselves and our community and the world.

Richard Foster, in his classic work, Celebration of Discipline, that's been reprinted, it's in like the fifth edition or something like that.

It keeps getting reprinted because it's that good.

He writes that the discipline of confession brings an end to pretense.

There's no more hiding.

God is calling into being a church that can openly confess its frail humanity and know the forgiveness and empowering graces of Christ.

This is what we're going for, right?

The empowering graces of Christ in our church, in our communities, in our own lives.

And then Ruth Haley Barton, in her book Sacred Rhythms, another beautiful book, if you haven't read it, about spiritual practices.

She writes, she's writing about self-examination, which is a larger contemplative practice, but confession is a part of it.

She writes of self-examination that it is a practice that offers us a way of opening to the love of God in the places of our brokenness and sin, right?

Taking it out of hiding.

And this is the only way true spiritual transformation ever takes place is when we allow God into those most tender, hidden, shameful, broken parts of us.

So what we're gonna do is something a little different, maybe for all of you.

I'm not sure how often you do like practices in your church services, but Asher said you were gonna be up for it and that I could do it.

So I did ask.

So we are going to practice this first part of this model of confession that David gave us, this inward-focused part.

In contemplative practice again, it is called the examine of conscience.

And it's where we sit with ourselves and God.

This isn't just, I have to do it.

God does this in us, right?

God sent Nathan to David.

David already knew he'd done wrong, but David wasn't prepared to actually face it and do anything about it.

So God sent Nathan to him.

So we do this with God, not on our own.

And we sit with ourselves and with God.

And you can do it reviewing your week or reviewing a specific season, or you might say, Man, yesterday was awful and I don't know why.

I'm just gonna sit with God and review the day.

And you just ask God to reveal, God, where have I sinned?

Where have I fallen short?

Inwardly or outwardly?

Maybe it was just like, I let my anxiety or fear get the best of me and did not respond with grace.

Or maybe it was I was really selfish and mean on purpose and like had a moment where I said something cutting to try and hurt someone.

Or whatever it may be.

I hope and pray that none of us are confessing murder as David had to this week.

But we all have our stories, right?

So we're gonna do this.

We're gonna sit for a few minutes and just review our week with God, asking God to bring to mind moments that we have sinned in thought, word, or deed.

And these may be small moments, like I said, that no one even noticed, or they may be bigger moments where the consequences were immediate and obvious, and everyone knew, oh, that was not their best moment.

Or somewhere in between.

And we'll notice it and we'll name it to God and say, God, I have fallen short.

I have sinned against you.

Have mercy.

And as this practice, if it becomes one that you engage in again and again and again, it's one where God can start showing and revealing patterns and you can dig deeper.

Why did I do that thing?

Oh, the root was I was actually feeling really afraid that someone would notice I didn't know the answer.

So I just like interrupted and blurted out.

Or the root, whatever it may be, right?

So today we're gonna practice it.

We're gonna take a few minutes of silence, and we will bring those specific things that God has brought to mind to our communal confession as Asher leads us in communion.

So I'm gonna pray for us, and then we'll have three to five minutes.

Asher knows how long your service is supposed to go, so he can decide.

Three to five minutes of silent reviewing your week with God and asking God, what do I need to confess?

God, thank you that you know all the things, even the things that are hidden from ourselves, that we have hidden from ourselves.

Nothing is hidden from you.

And you love us through all of it.

You love us so much that you will come to us and reveal those broken pieces of our lives, so that we can bring them to you and reveal them and take them out of hiding to find forgiveness and freedom and healing and wholeness in you.

So, God, as we maybe are a little uncomfortable and step out and try this thing today and sit in silence, reviewing our week with you, would you be tender with us and also reveal places or moments where we fell short, where we sinned, that we can bring them to you for forgiveness.

Thank you that you are with us, and that you will do this good work.

Amen.

Thank you for listening.

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