Timeless Wisdom: Wise Words | Weekend Sunday Service | Josiah Smith

Words are foundational to the human experience.

I mean, think about that.

Words are the very means that we connect.

We connect through communicating with one another.

I mean, even just think about when you first meet someone, what do you do?

You use your words, you introduce yourself.

Hi, my name is Such and Such.

Who are you?

Where are you from?

What do you do?

What do you enjoy doing?

What do you do for fun?

And we ask all these questions.

We use our words, of course, to connect with others.

And so words are foundational for even how we relate to one another, how we get to know one another.

Words also are the very means by which we as a species we innovate the things that we create, technology that is produced.

Words are instrumental in that reality.

When you think about an idea in the past that became a piece of common technology today, it started with an idea, it started with thinking that got communicated to either a certain set of people with a certain set of skills to produce a certain kind of outcome.

And so words are part of how we connect, words are how we innovate, words are how we problem solve, how we go to the whiteboard and think through various options to various problems that we face in our lives.

You get the picture.

Words are instrumental, they're just kind of a fundamental part of the human experience.

And that makes sense if you even think about the role that words play from a biblical perspective.

When God created the world, how did he do it?

He spoke, and the world came into existence.

He said, Let there be light, and there was light.

So even the very means by which God created the world, he did it through words, through language, through uh speaking.

Even the way that he reveals himself, particularly if you think about the story of Moses in Exodus chapter three with the burning bush, Moses sees the burning bush not being consumed.

He turns aside to see what's going on.

And God is communicating with him with language, with words that he can understand and comprehend.

But not just language, he's actually revealing certain things about who he is.

That's where Moses is asking the question.

God's sending him on this divine task to go to Pharaoh to say, let my people go.

God had seen the Israelites in slavery to the Egyptians.

And so he raises up Moses to go and speak to Pharaoh.

And of course, Moses is all afraid about that.

What am I gonna say?

I can't, I can't, I've got a stutter, I've got whatever.

I can't speak, I'm not an eloquent man.

And so he gives him Aaron.

But nevertheless, a part of that process, Moses says, Who do I say sent me?

And what does God say?

He says, I am who I am.

Tell them that the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, I am who I am.

Now, even if you think about that, I've talked about this before, but naming is connected to authority in the Bible.

And even in our context, culturally speaking, when you have kids, what do you do?

You name them.

And that signifies the level of inherent authority that God has given you as their parents.

So your parents name you, you name your kids, and on and on it goes.

But the question is, who named God?

Well, of course, no one named God.

God reveals himself, he tells Moses, I am who I am.

This is who I am.

There's no other authority.

There's no one that names God, there's no one above God.

Of course, that's a simple truth, but nevertheless, it's all connected to God using words to communicate divine revelation about something true about his character that we would otherwise not understand or otherwise would not be able to comprehend.

Even if you just think about the Bible, here at Compass Bible Church, our first distinctive is the Bible is central.

Well, why is that?

Well, because God gave us the Bible, which is God's written words to us.

It's God's written revelation to us, what he wants us to understand, what he wants us to know.

The secret things they belong to the Lord, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children.

That's what Deuteronomy 30 says.

So he's given us the Bible, his written words.

And even salvation is brought about as people proclaim the gospel with their words, and people respond in faith.

Think about what Paul talks about in the book of Romans.

How will they hear if no one tells them, if no one goes?

How beautiful are the feet of those who bring the good news.

And faith comes from hearing, hearing through the word of Christ.

So, all this to say, of course, you understand at a fundamental level, uh, just the human experience is bound up in words, in language, in communication, even from the perspective of relating to God, revelation, how we understand who he is, the Bible, his inspired written word, even salvation, we proclaim the good news, the gospel, through our words, of course, our actions as well.

People need to understand who Jesus is, what he did on the cross, and what it means for them if they repent from their sins and trust in him.

So, for all of these things, even for all of the good that words represent and accomplish, you recognize that we live in a post-Genesis 3 world.

We live in a fallen world that has twisted and distorted God's design and intention for everything, including the way that we use our words.

So oftentimes, rather than being used, our words, to build up and encourage, they are often used to tear down and belittle.

Words are frequently used as weapons that are wielded with the intention to inflict harm on the people around us.

We live in a world where, again, the corruption of sin, the decaying effects of sin affect every aspect of humanity, including the way that we use words, the very gift that God has given us to relate, to innovate, to problem solve.

We use those in a way that's harmful to each other, that's dishonoring to the Lord, and that is not God's intention.

So that's where we're starting today in Proverbs chapter 18.

Proverbs 18 · chapter mention

If you've got your Bibles, we're going to just look at one verse, Proverbs 18, 21, and try to unpack the reality of what we're saying.

The centrality of words in our life, the reality that oftentimes our words are used in ways that are not honoring to the Lord and not encouraging or uplifting to others.

Here's what Proverbs 18, 21 says Death and life are in the power of the tongue.

You see those categories?

They're completely at odds.

Death and life.

But they're both represented by one member of the body, the tongue.

The way that we use our words.

And those who love it with the tongue, whether for death or for life, for good or for evil, will eat its fruit.

So we have this possibility, this dichotomy, this binaryity in the scriptures, that we either use our words to do things that are more on the life side of this category, or on the death side.

We are either saying things that are encouraging, building up, or as Paul says in Ephesians, are extending grace to those who hear, or we are saying things to tear them down and to belittle them.

Even think of Proverbs 15:4, another verse that talks about this.

Proverbs 15:4

A gentle tongue is a tree of life.

It produces things that are good and healthy, but perverseness in it, in the tongue, perverseness, corrupt communication, corrupt talk breaks the spirit.

You see how that overlaps with Proverbs 18, 21?

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, this small member.

And those who love it will eat its fruit.

A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.

Now here's the sad reality.

Here's the sad truth.

Christians are not exempt from speaking in ways that are Proverbs 15, 4, at least the second part of the verse.

We are not exempt from speaking in ways that break the spirit of others.

We're not exempt in speaking in ways that are in the death category of Proverbs 18.

We are not exempt from saying things that are corrupt.

We're not exempt from saying things that are unholy, unrighteous, that are what James 3 talks about, a world of unrighteousness by this small member of our body, our tongue.

In fact, other oftentimes Christians can abuse others with our words, perhaps just as much as any other person that we see and interact with, which is problematic because what we see both in Proverbs and across the whole canon of scripture is that God cares about the way that we speak.

God cares about the way that you use your words, the way that you speak to others, the way that you encourage others, the way that you seek to build others up.

He cares about that.

He says many things in Proverbs and all throughout the scriptures about that reality.

But again, we have this sad truth that oftentimes Christians can misuse their words to be the person that breaks others' spirit rather than a tree of life that produces encouragement and things that are good and that lead to growth and flourishing.

Of course, I've already referenced James chapter 3.

James 3 · chapter mention

It might be a good verse for you to drop down.

James 3 verse 6.

James 3:6

I find this fascinating.

James is talking to a group of believers and he's warning them about the reality of the tongue.

He's warning them about the dangers that come from such a small member of the body.

James 3, verse 6 says, And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness.

James 3:6

We've had fires here in Idaho.

I mean, just imagine, right?

I'm not making light of that.

Just imagine what the smoke and all of the discomfort and the danger and the displacement and even the loss of life that have come from the wildfires ablaze around us that we are still dealing with and fighting.

James compares it to that.

Your tongue, the way that you speak to others, can be, if it's not reined in and bridled by the Word of God and the Spirit of God.

It can be a fire, a world of unrighteousness.

The tongue is set among our members, he says, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.

So this is the warning.

This is the danger.

This is Proverbs 18.

This is Proverbs 15.

There's these two categories.

We can speak in ways that are in the category of death, or we can speak in ways that are in the category of life.

We can be a gentle tongue that's like a tree of life, or we can have perverseness in our speech that breaks the spirit.

Or as James 3 says, we can set the world on fire around us by the way that we use our words.

If we're not using them in ways that are wise, using them in ways that is driven by the fear of the Lord.

But here's what we're called to as Christians.

Of course, we're not called to set things on fire with our tongue.

We're not called to speak in ways that break the spirit.

Here's what Paul says in Ephesians 4, verse 29.

Ephesians 4:29

This is what Christians ought to be known for in our speech.

Ephesians 4 29, Paul says, Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

That's the challenge for us as Christians to speak in a way where no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion.

Now, I can already hear some of the arguments in your head right now.

Well, language, words, curse words, you're saying, aren't they just culturally assigned meanings that could mean different things based off of where you are in the world and mean different things based off the culture that you live in?

And so words themselves, they're not really that big of a deal because it's just a it's the culture that you live in.

It's the it's it's sort of a random, sort of haphazard assigning of definitions uh to random words.

Uh words, they change over time, after all, do they not?

They change, the definitions change.

Words that we use today would have been offensive 10 years ago.

Words that we use today will be offensive tomorrow.

I mean, we get that.

Words changed.

Definitionally, they change.

How we use them changes.

The culture can assign different kinds of meaning, different kinds of weight to words over different kinds of periods.

And so oftentimes, I fear that in your heart, if that's you right now, that you completely ignore what Paul says, let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion.

There's no room for all of this sort of uh explaining away of the language that you use and the ways that you speak.

Paul says, use words that build up, that fit the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

And if that is you, if if those excuses or that line of thinking is the way that you like to go and the trail that you like to travel, I would just like to say uh think of your words as a window.

I mean, think about what we talked about last week.

Uh, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

The heart is the root that produces the fruit, the fruit of your words, the thoughts that you have, the desires, the things that you do, the things that you pursue.

Your heart is the control center of who you are and what you do and what you say.

So think of your words as a window.

Words reveal what's really going on inside of us.

Words are one of the clearest indicators of the current state of your heart.

So, you want to know what someone values?

You want to know what they care about, what they love, what they're passionate about.

Listen to what they say.

Listen to what they talk about.

You want to get a window into someone's heart, evaluate what comes out of their mouth.

This is Jesus' teaching.

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

So if we're gonna have all these excuses, then if we're gonna say, well, this and that, and words and definitions and culture, and and it's not trying to faithfully submit ourselves to what the word tells us, to let no corrupting talk come out of our mouths, but only such as is good for building up as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

I just want you to hear that that's a window into what's going on in your heart.

That's a window into what you value, what you love.

It's a window into really who you are, because your heart is the root that produces the fruit.

So in this sermon, I want to give you some ways to kind of evaluate whether or not your words are the tree of life, or your words are perverse that break others' spirits.

I want to give you categories to think through how you can evaluate whether or not your words are honoring to the Lord, whether they fit Ephesians 4.29, or they're in the category that we talked about in Proverbs 18, they're in the category of death.

They're a destructive wildfire set ablaze by such a small member, staining the whole body.

I want to give you some things, some signs of corrupt words and corrupt communication.

All of this, by the way, just so you can buckle up, is introduction.

So we haven't even gotten to the point.

But let's let's let's kind of lay this foundation.

Here's some signs of corrupt words and communication.

I want to give you questions to ask, to evaluate what's going on in your heart.

Here's the question one.

Do my words change with my environment?

Do my words change with my environment?

Now you know what I'm talking about, whether this is you or this is someone that you know.

You speak one way at church, another way at work, another way at home, another way with your friends.

Every environment, you're kind of like a chameleon.

You just you take on your external environment and your words change as a result.

Now, of course, there's a biblical way to do this.

There's an away, there's a way to do this that makes sense.

There's a way to speak to other people that is actually kind of a ministry focused.

I think of what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9, where he says, I become all things to all people, so for the sake that I might win some.

But that's not what I'm talking about.

I'm not talking about genuine, sort of, I'm trying to communicate in a way that someone understands, or I'm trying to speak someone's language in a helpful, godly way.

I'm talking about the language that's crass in one environment and encouraging in another.

That's focused on Christianity, God, the gospel, and Jesus Christ in one environment, and is focused on crude, crass jokes in another, or something of that nature.

Think about this.

If your words change with your environment, more often than not, I would say it's not because you're trying to be Paul in 1 Corinthians 9, becoming all things to all people.

It's because your heart is corrupt, as we as we talked about last week.

Your heart has corruption in it, or there's things that you're valuing or loving, or things that you're pursuing or desiring that are leading you to say things that are corrupt, that are sinful, that are not honoring to the Lord.

So if your words tend to change with your environment, I would say that's a telltale sign of corrupt communication.

Here's another question that you could ask Do your words tear others down and elevate yourself?

Ask yourself, do I use my words to tear others down, or do I use my words to build others up?

And if you're you're seeking to tear others down, oftentimes I find that it's because you want to elevate yourself.

You want to feel better about yourself, you want to position yourself as somehow uh a greater authority, uh, a greater, I don't know, someone who is is is smarter, someone who is uh more valuable.

I don't know.

We we want to elevate ourselves above others, and so oftentimes we can use our words to tear them down.

That's a sign of corrupt communication, that's a sign of corrupt words.

Here's another question.

Uh, do your words are they used to judge others?

Now, I don't mean that in the flippant sort of like, you can't judge me.

I don't mean it that way.

Uh, I mean kind of in the the pharisaical, God, I'm so grateful I'm not like that sinner over there.

God, I'm so grateful that the kind of sinner that I am is the bet is a better sinner than they are.

Thank you, Lord.

I mean, that's what I'm talking about.

Uh are your words used to judge others?

That's this is just another form of elevating self.

Wherever we categorize people, we categorize what they do, what they value, uh, how they live their lives, and we can have this sort of judgmental communication, the way that we speak to others, the way that we comment on the things that they do, or whatever the case may be.

That's a sign of corrupt communication.

Here's another question: Are your words used to exaggerate, deceive, withhold, or cover up the truth?

In other words, are you are you someone that lies?

Do you exaggerate?

Exaggeration is a form of lying, which oftentimes is connected to our pride.

Right?

We tell stories, we add details, we embellish the reality of it.

Sometimes we do it just to be funny, sometimes we do it because we want people to think better of us than maybe is the reality of things, but we can exaggerate, we can deceive, we can withhold, or we can cover up the truth.

And all of that is signs, of course, of that is corrupt communication.

That's corrupt words, that's language, that's not honoring to the Lord.

Here's another obvious one.

Are your words used to spread gossip and slander of others?

Are your words used to spread gossip and slander of others?

Now, if you read through the proverbs, you you can't get very far before gossip, slander, using your tongue, encouraging or discouraging or all of these things.

The Proverbs have so much to say about the way that we use our words.

Why?

Because God cares about the way that we use our words.

Now, those are just questions to kind of help you evaluate.

Because I thought a lot of what we've been doing in Proverbs is asking.

Is this true of us?

Asking, Lord, how aligned are we with what your word has said?

So the next question, again, all this is introduction.

Bear with me.

What fuels our words?

Now I've said it already, but your words that come out of your mouth are fueled by your heart, for good or for bad.

Now, corrupt words, of course, are fueled by a corrupt heart.

So corrupt words are a sign, you could say, of a sick heart, of things going on, of sin that it's digging deeply into the soil of your heart.

And you should think that every corrupt word that comes out of your mouth is connected to some kind of corruption within your heart.

Corruption, a sin struggle that needs to be identified, targeted, and put to death.

If you've got your Bibles, go to Matthew chapter 15.

Matthew 15 · chapter mention

We talked about this last week in our study of the heart.

I want you to see this kind of more in its broader context.

Matthew 15.

I want you to see this reality that your words flow from who you are.

Your words flow from your heart.

Your corrupt words flow from a corrupt heart.

Corrupt words are a sign of a sick heart.

I want you to see that in Matthew 15, 10 through 20.

Now, this is Jesus who's giving this teaching.

Of course, he's addressing the Pharisees who are upset about them not watching.

Their hands, the disciples of Jesus, they're not washing their hands, they're not holding to the tradition of the elders.

Uh and here's what he says in Matthew 15.

Verse 10.

And he called the people to him and said to them, Hear and understand.

It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth.

Do you hear this?

It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth.

This defiles a person.

Then the disciples came and said to him, Well, do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?

I can't imagine why.

Do you know, Jesus, they were offended?

He answered, Well, every plant that my heavenly father has not planted will be uh will be rooted up.

Let them be alone.

They are blind guides.

And if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.

Which, by the way, Proverbs says the same thing.

But Peter said to him, Explain the parable to us.

Good old Peter, always with his questions.

And he said, Are you also still without understanding, Peter?

Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth passes into the stomach and is expelled?

But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart.

And this defiles a person.

Notice the analogy there.

What comes in goes out, but what's in the heart, there's a there's a fix kind of stuck if it's not uprooted.

You get that?

What's in the heart makes its way out.

And it's still in there because it's producing things, many things in many contexts, many environments.

And unless it's uprooted, unless it's pulled out, unless we get the trowel and get into the soil by the spirit's help, well, we're not going to see any progress in this.

Do you not know what comes out of the mouth?

Right?

Whatever goes into the mouth passes into the stomach and is expelled.

But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.

For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.

These are what defile a person.

But to eat with unwashed hands does not defile anyone.

And Jesus' broader point, what's coming out was is representative of what's inside.

And what's inside is not easily expelled like food going in.

It's there's a stocked, fixed nature in there.

And of course, we recognize that we need the spirit's help.

We need the word of God to be able to uproot those things in our heart that lead to corrupt communication, that lead to corrupt words.

So Jesus tells us that our corrupt communication, the things that we say that are not honoring to him, are a sign of what's really going on in our heart.

That's why I started with our words are a window.

You want to know what's going on in someone's heart to some degree?

Listen to what they say.

This is what the scriptures tell us.

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

What comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart.

And this defiles a person.

This reveals who a person really is, what they really value, what they really love, what they're wanting to pursue.

Okay.

Now we can get to the seven-point outline on your notes.

How do I identify and uproot corrupt words and communication in my life?

How do I have wise words?

That's really the focus of what I want us to talk about for the rest of our time together.

Point number one, refuse to excuse your words.

Refuse to excuse your words.

Now I hear this kind of stuff a lot.

I say it sometimes.

Things that we make excuses about for our words.

I have anxiety.

We can be harsh.

We can use our words to cut down.

We can be angry.

I'm sorry, I was anxious.

And of course, we can provide context for what was going on in our heart.

But oftentimes it's not just context that we're trying to provide, it's an excuse.

I spoke that way because I was anxious.

I spoke that way because I am over-stimulated.

You said that before?

I'm so overstimulated.

If you're a mom, I've been touched all day by my kids.

I'm sorry that I yelled at you, honey.

People are poking me.

Little people are poking me.

They're touching me all day.

I just I'm overstimulated.

My nervous system is screaming at me.

You know, we say all that kind of stuff.

Right?

That's an excuse.

That often we're not just trying to provide context.

We're trying to actually dismiss the words that we use and how we use them.

Refuse to excuse your words.

I had a bad day.

Work was hard today.

I was mistreated by my boss, my manager.

I was not, I was passed up for that promotion.

I was not recognized for my my uh hard work, my diligence.

Someone else was was given an accolade that I'd feel like I deserved, whatever, whatever, whatever.

Therefore, I will speak to you in whatever way I see fit.

Then I feel good about it.

At least, at least I feel like there's some justification behind it because my day was hard.

Yeah, this one.

Have you heard this one?

I said that because you said I said this because they said, Well, if only this wouldn't have happened, then I wouldn't have.

Or if this would have happened, then I would have.

Or we have all these excuses.

We say all of these things.

And can I just confess to you this morning that there are times when I I can use my words, however unintentionally, to be discouraging.

And I often will say I was being sarcastic.

And if you know me at all, I am very sarcastic.

I am.

It's it's my parents are here, I got it from them.

It's their fault.

That's my excuse.

Oh, wait.

I gotta refuse to excuse.

But I am.

I that's that's how I if I if I have a genuine affection for someone, I jab a lot, I poke a lot, and that's that's a way that I show affection.

Some of you know that.

Um, and but sometimes that gets me in trouble.

And if I'm not careful, I can use that as an excuse to speak in ways that are harmful and hurtful and overlook the reality that that was wrong.

And I need to work on that.

I need to refuse to excuse my words.

Oh, I was being sarcastic.

I was just joking.

Proverbs have a lot to say about that too.

Um, I was just joking.

I was being sarcastic, I had a bad day.

Well, you said this, well, I did that.

I get overstimulated.

I'm anxiety, I have anxiety.

I whatever the case may be.

Can we stop making excuses?

Can we do that together?

Can you hold me accountable?

If you hear me say I was being sarcastic, can you grab a stick or something?

I don't know.

Maybe don't do that.

A proverbial stick of of uh of love that you strike me with speaking the truth in love.

Um that got weird.

Refuse to excuse your words, right?

Refuse to excuse.

We're gonna identify and uproot corrupt words and corrupt communication.

We gotta stop making excuses.

Well, I talk this way because of this.

Uh, or words are just, you know, curse words are just we're uh we culturally uh set set agreed upon definitions, they don't really mean anything.

They're just whatever, whatever, whatever.

Can we stop?

Can we stop making excuses for the ways that we speak that are not honoring to the Lord?

Let's work on that together as a church.

Here's the second thing.

Point number two develop a habit of intentionally encouraging others.

Now, of course, point one is stop doing something, stop making excuses.

Now, point number two is to start doing something.

We need to develop a habit of intentionally encouraging others.

Now, if you've been with us for a while, hopefully you remember our study in Hebrews where it talked about today.

You don't remember this?

As long as it's called today, encourage one another.

You know what day it is today?

It's today is today, right?

Because every day is today.

There's no today other than today, because today is today.

And guess what?

When you wake up tomorrow, it's gonna be today.

Did you realize that?

And two days from now, when you wake up, it'll be today.

And so the point is encourage one another.

Use words, and I say intentionally, develop a habit of intentionally, because to be honest, even encouragement is not something that naturally comes to me.

This is something that I have to work on.

I have to actively think about how am I gonna be an encouragement?

Not just by the way that I act, but the things that I say.

You gotta you gotta build a habit of doing that.

This reminded me when I was in college.

Let me also make a confession today.

I am really bad at remembering people's names.

I always call it a job hazard as a pastor.

Uh sincerely, I just the way that my brain works, I can remember theology.

I can tell you what someone said in a sermon five years ago.

30 seconds into a conversation, I've more than likely, if I'm just meeting you, I don't know who you are.

I just want you to know.

And it's not because I don't care for you.

Sincerely, uh, this is this is the form that the Lord has given me that I've asked him to take away.

And he said, My grace is sufficient for you.

Uh so I that this is a reality.

But when I was in college, I remember feeling just discouraged by this.

You know, I really do hate it.

I hate being in the middle of a conversation going, I don't know who you are.

I mean, I know who you are, but I don't know your name.

I I hate that.

It's it's something that I really wish that I was better at.

So when I was in college, I remember I was like, I gotta, I gotta beat this.

I'm gonna beat this.

Um, so every conversation that I had with a new person that I met, I I just said their name every phrase that I said to them.

I'd say, hello Janice, how was your day?

Oh, it was great.

Oh, that's so great, Janice.

Well, you know what, Janice?

Later today, you know what I'm gonna do, Janice?

I am going to go to the park.

Oh, you're going to dinner with your family, Janice?

That's so great, Janice.

Uh, and I remember at one point what some of one of my classmates was like, Wow, you're really good at remembering people's names.

And I was like, No, I'm not.

That's why I'm saying this, because I will forget.

Uh, I had I had to be intentional to develop uh a habit of remembering people's names.

So now you know, if if I remember your name and we just met, it took a lot of effort, it really did.

I'm just sincerely, and I I really do.

I try to put effort into that, and it's something that I'm growing in.

Hold me accountable, grab the stick, uh, it'll be good.

Develop a habit of intentionally encouraging others.

How can you be uplifting?

How can you fulfill Ephesians 4 29?

How can you even do what Hebrews tells us?

Encourage one another as long as it's called today.

Encourage, be an encouragement, use your words in a way that's a tree of life rather than perverseness that breaks the spirit.

Death in life are in the power of the tongue.

And I hope that our church is filled with people that are committed to speaking words of life, that are loving one another in the way that we speak to each other.

We're refusing to make excuses, and we're developing a habit of intentionally encouraging others.

Here's point number three: how do we do this?

How do we identify and uproot corrupt words?

Point number three, distance yourself from gossip and slander of others.

The Proverbs talks about gossip and slander as sweet morsels, they're tantalizing, they're things that we desire.

There's something in our hearts that's pulled towards I want to, I want to know what's going on.

I want to hear what they have to say about that person or that that person, and I want to, well, I don't want to gossip, but I want to hear.

You know, even as Christians, can you know how bad we are as Christians?

We can gossip by asking for prayer.

You heard that one before?

Come on.

We're like inventing new ways to have corrupt communication.

We need to distance ourselves from gossip and slander of others.

This is what Paul says in the 1 Corinthians 15, 33.

You're familiar with this verse, I'm sure.

Bad company corrupts good morals.

And so there's this sense of which if we're just allowing ourselves to kind of be the receptacle of other people's gossip and slander, uh, we're gonna take that into our heart and it's gonna make its way out of our mouth.

But we gotta distance ourselves from that kind of speech and that kind of talk.

I mean, the Proverbs talk about gossip, talk about slander again and again and again and again.

This is something that we ought to pay attention to.

We gotta distance ourselves from gossip and slander of others.

All right, here's the next point.

Regularly evaluate what your words reveal about what you value.

If it's true, and of course it is, that what comes out of your mouth is a reflection of your heart.

I think you have some responsibility, some ownership to think about the words that are coming out of your mouth and what it's revealing about what's in your heart.

You have some responsibility to constantly pray what David prayed.

Lord, search me, know my heart, see if there be any wicked way in me.

And that's difficult, like we talked about last week, Proverbs chapter 20, verse 5.

Proverbs 20:5

The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man with understanding will draw it out.

We need we need the help of the spirit to help us better understand what's going on in our heart so that we can identify what we value, what we love.

And so we regularly evaluate what our words reveal about what we value.

Do we value what people think?

We have to have a certain status, we have to uphold a certain kind of image.

Do our words, are they carefully curated, like paper mache around this precious image that we have about ourselves, and we speak so that we can maintain it and layer after layer keep people thinking about us in the same way?

Do we value that?

Is that what we are after?

Do we value being right?

Are we gonna be so assertive and in our conversations that we're being unkind because we want to be right?

We want to insist that we're right and assert that we're right, and sometimes even punitively speak to others because we feel that we're right.

Are we valuing that?

Are we valuing how much I know?

And I want other people to know how much I know, and I want them to comment about how much I know, and I want them to know that I know that I know.

How much is this what I'm valuing?

Is this what I love?

Is this what I'm pursuing?

Is this what my heart's desiring?

Regularly evaluate what your words reveal about what you value.

Because out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

Hopefully, you can see the progression that we've been going through.

We started last week.

We're talking about the heart, the heart, the control center of us as humans.

It includes a cognitive aspect, uh, an affective affections aspect, and a volition, our will.

And that is the reality that our heart, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

We are in our heart, makes its way out, and our actions.

The heart is the root, our actions, our words are the fruit.

And so now you can see, okay, we need to think about our words.

We need to evaluate what our words reveal about what we value.

And of course, if our values are sinful, if they're not honoring to the Lord, uh, then we need to submit them to the scriptures.

Lord, help me.

Help me to value, help me to love, help me uh to think and pursue and desire what you tell me to think, pursue, and desire.

And in that process of prayerfully evaluating, you can identify and uproot corrupt communication in your life.

All right, here's point number five.

Master the art of knowing when not to speak.

This one's hard.

Do you know the Proverbs says that even a fool who stays silent seems wise?

Someone said to me recently, uh, there's hope for me.

When a fool You guys didn't get that.

Uh a fool who stays silent seems wise.

I always think of Proverbs 10, verse 19.

Proverbs 10:19

That talks about where words are many, transgression is not lacking.

I was in a different ministry context um years ago, and I remember going to our elders' meetings.

Um, the church was struggling, there was a lot of things going on during that time.

There was kind of fighting between the deacons and the elders and the congregation.

There were a lot of gossip, a lot of slander, a lot of things happening.

So I'd go to these elder meetings and they were almost always contentious to some degree.

Uh, and I had this notebook that I would bring.

And every elder's meeting was on Tuesday nights, every Tuesday night, I'd go to this elders' meeting and I'd write at the bottom of my notebook where words are many, transgression is not lacking.

And that was just myself, reminding myself, Josiah, keep your mouth shut, be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.

We got to master the art of knowing when not to speak.

We've got to recognize that sometimes that we say things in haste, we say things without being thoughtful or prayerful, that we say things carelessly.

Of course, Jesus tells us that we'll have to give an account for every careless word that we speak.

So we got to know when not to speak.

So let me give you some questions to think through that.

How do you know?

How do you know when to speak?

When to say what you feel like needs to be said.

Well, here's question one.

Does this need to be said?

Ask yourself that.

You feel like you got something to say, you feel like you got something to say to someone particularly?

Does it need to be said?

Of course, there's different ways of going through that.

You can work yourself into a hole thinking about that question, but it's just one question.

Does this need to be said?

Could I go without saying this?

The next question is, is it the right time?

Do you know that you could say something perhaps that's a good thing to say, but say it at the right time in the or say it at the wrong time in the wrong context?

And that be something that's unhelpful and something that is hurtful ultimately.

Is it the right time to say what needs to be said?

Here's another question.

Do I have the right heart?

Uh do I have the right heart in saying this?

Am I filled with anger?

Am I filled with bitterness?

Am I filled with jealousy, envy, strife, whatever the case may be?

Do I have the right heart to say what I need to be saying to be said?

If I don't, it's not the right time.

It's not the right time to have that conversation if you don't have the right heart.

Here's another question.

What's my intended result?

What am I hoping to accomplish by saying what I want to say?

Do I just want to get it off my chest?

I do am I seeking reconciliation?

Am I seeking clarity?

Uh am I speaking the truth in love?

No.

What is my intended result?

What am I trying to accomplish by saying what I want to say?

Here's another question.

Will it encourage and build up the person that you are saying it to?

Is it gonna be an encouragement?

Is it gonna build them up, or is it gonna discourage them and tear them down?

Of course, there are things that you can say gently, you can speak the truth in love, and there's still be some level of discouragement.

So I'm not saying, you know, when you have something to say biblically that you should just keep your mouth shut.

I'm just saying, think about this, all these questions together.

Is it gonna encourage?

Is it gonna build up?

And ultimately, here's the final question: is it honoring to the Lord?

Is it gonna honor the Lord if I say these things in this way at this time to this person?

I've got to master the art of knowing when not to speak.

Transgression is not lacking.

But he who restrains his lips is prudent.

Here's point number six.

Very simply, this is basically our series: pursue wisdom through the fear of the Lord.

Of course, words are associated with wisdom.

Words are associated with, as we defined wisdom, skilled living in God's created order, using your words in a skillful way is associated with wisdom.

And where does wisdom come from?

The fear of the Lord.

Proverbs 1:7.

Proverbs 1:7

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, fools despise wisdom and instruction.

So the fear of the Lord is knowing who God is, who he has revealed himself to be in scripture, knowing his character.

And it's responding to who God is with reverence, with trust, with submission, with worship and obedience.

And so if we're pursuing wisdom through the fear of the Lord, I can guarantee you that you're gonna think more actively about what you say, when you say it, and why you say it.

If you're pursuing genuine wisdom through a genuine fear of the Lord, 100% the Spirit of God is gonna bring to mind your speech.

As we talked about at the beginning, our words are just a fundamental part of the human experience.

And because that's true, wisdom pursued through the fear of the Lord inevitably will put your words in your sights by God's grace, so that we could work on them by the Spirit of God and the grace of God through the Word of God.

Pursue wisdom through the fear of the Lord.

Here's the last point, number seven.

Be quick to seek forgiveness for wronging someone with your words.

This is very similar to how we ended last week.

If you can think back to seven days ago, how we ended last week was that you have to get comfortable seeking forgiveness, confessing your sin ultimately to the Lord and to others.

Of course, that was in connection to the heart, trying to identify what's going on in your heart, distinguishing between the root and the fruit.

Same thing here.

We got to be quick to seek forgiveness for wronging someone with your words.

The Bible connects the our willingness to extend forgiveness and even our willingness to seek forgiveness to the reality of what we have been forgiven.

To the reality of the forgiveness that we have seen and experienced in the gospel.

So we gotta be quick to seek forgiveness for wronging someone with our words.

Because words are such a pivotal, large part of what we do every single day, and because we're words are many, transgression is not lacking.

Hopefully, you recognize that it's not a matter of if you harm someone with your words, it's a matter of when.

That starts with refusing to make excuses, feeling good about what you said because of X, Y, and Z.

That starts with intentionally trying to be an encouragement, being quick to seek forgiveness for wronging someone with your words, actively working to pursue wisdom through the fear of the Lord.

But again, ultimately, all of this is bound up in we have been forgiven.

We forgive much because we've been forgiven much.

And I would even say we we seek forgiveness when we wrong others because we're constantly evaluating what's going on in our heart.