Uncomfortable Tables

Brother Jim or Sister Christine, anything I was talking about this morning but everything that they spoke about was exactly what God has been dealing to me about, and if you've been around long enough in the faith, you know that that's how it works.

And, man, it's good to be a part of something where God is working and he is moving.

And thank you, musicians, we really appreciate it.

Y'all are, I tell you, what man they, they.

They make being the worship leader easy.

Uh, just the flawless.

And they make it fun too.

A good group of people that love god and are willing to serve.

Yeah, and you may not know this, but people watch online.

Let's give the people in the booth a hand clap.

They make this thing happen.

Got the cameraman.

Every time I see him, I'm like you're going to do the camera?

I don't know.

They do a great job and they make it where.

It is another way that we can reach out to people who don't live in our vicinity.

It's an awesome thing.

So this morning I've got a slide up here.

I want y'all to be excited about this.

This is going to be a community-wide day of worship.

It's going to be June 5th, 1 pm to 6 pm.

We're going to start small.

We're calling it a day, but we're going to be working an entire day.

I assure you we're going to be right out here.

We're going to get some flatbed trailers.

We're going to have different worship teams from different churches around the community to come serve and just have worship together.

We're going to have games for the kids.

We're going to have giveaways.

We're going to have giveaways.

We're going to have food trucks.

We love food, right?

Come on, somebody, get the spirit on that right there.

Food trucks, man.

Some of the best food comes out of trucks.

And it's weird, I know, I know, it's weird, man.

Taco Tuesday, come on.

All right, I'm hungry, All right.

Speaking of hunger, today we're going to be talking about a very, very difficult topic and I want you it's actually scientifically proven that to get rid of old habits, as I preached on before, you have to replace it with new grooves in your brain, to create new habits and to get the old you out of the way and to get the new you to come aboard.

And sometimes those people fight against each other and sometimes our worst enemy is looking at us in the mirror.

Last time I preached, I said that sometimes, if you're like me, you feel like you are too used to be used, that I can't be God's mouthpiece.

I can't share the love of God, no matter how much we feel it, sometimes we don't feel worthy to display it because of God's majesty and his glory.

And so today we're going to be talking about uncomfortable tables.

I was going back and forth on whether I wanted to call it embracing uncomfortable tables or just uncomfortable tables, and I hope after this you choose to embrace this because this lifestyle right here, it will align you perfectly with the will of God.

Because if you've ever been in a situation and you feel like God or the devil is attacking you, chances are it's God trying to teach you, because I believe that everything that I put in God's hands is better than if I would have held onto it myself, that these things in my life that I can't handle or can't you know?

We quote the Bible verse a lot that God will never give you more than you can handle, but it's actually talking about temptation, because if God gave you a life of than you can handle, but it's actually talking about temptation Because if God gave you a life of where you didn't need him to handle it, you wouldn't need him.

So we're going to be talking about first of all.

I'm excited about food next week, and I didn't have next week in mind when I was talking about eating at a table today.

But we're going to talk about eating and it's going to be lunchtime soon and we're all going to go get some good food.

I don't eat breakfast because I get nervous before Sunday service, so I'm really starving.

So this is a journey for me as well.

So I hope that when we get done today, that you're going to change the way you think about sitting at uncomfortable tables, because the reason they are uncomfortable is because it usually involves someone we don't want to face.

Some of you may be thinking about Thanksgiving supper right now.

It may be some family members you don't like, but uncomfortable tables are a place that we have to partake of, and I hope after today you choose for yourself.

Because I can preach until my very last breath.

I can preach until I'm blue in the face.

We can sing songs and clap our hands until our hands are numb, but until we apply what we learn here, it's pointless.

So today we're going to be looking at Psalm, the 23rd chapter.

I'll give you a minute to turn.

But if you don't have your Bible, you don't want to look it up.

If you're at home, it'll be on the screen for you.

Today we're going to walk through Psalm 23.

And from David's point of view we see a little bit of who David is and his bringing up of being a shepherd, and it comes out in a lot of his Psalms because it's how he views God.

It's what he knows, the protector.

He understands that shepherd mentality of leading through green pastures.

So from David's point of view, I want you also to become your point of view.

So this is a psalm of David and it says this.

It's a very well-known verse.

We love to quote it, but we're going to dissect it today.

The Lord is my shepherd.

I have all that I need.

He lets me rest in green meadows.

Have you ever been out?

Watch out for fire ants.

But have you ever been outside in some lush green grass and you just sit down and it's cool and it's nice and it's fresh.

It's like man.

This is.

You ever go on a picnic?

Again, watch out for fire ants because they will show up and ruin your day.

But nice grass, just to lay down in.

It just there's something about it.

It just there's a cool to it and it feels good.

But he leads us to lay down in green meadows.

He leads me beside peaceful streams.

He renews my strength.

He guides me along right paths bringing honor to his name.

Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me.

Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.

Verse 5 says you prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies.

You honor me by anointing my head with oil.

My cup overflows with blessings.

Now, let's break this down a little bit.

Now let's break this down a little bit.

I want these verses to pave the way to the point of what I'm going to get today at uncomfortable table.

So let's start with verse one.

Let's start at the top.

The lord is my shepherd.

A little breakdown of who david saw god as, and when we understand that god is not just, uh, a entity that's floating in the air, but he is the good shepherd that he will lead and guide us.

I have all that I need.

He is our provider.

He is Jehovah Jireh.

He lets me rest in green meadows.

He leads me beside peaceful streams a real peace from God.

He renews my strength From him is where we will find true strength.

He guides me along right paths.

Now listen to this.

He guides me along the right paths.

Listen to this.

He guides me along the right paths.

Listen to this Through the darkest valley.

Now hold up.

You're telling me that the good shepherd, in a couple of verses before, is a good shepherd that is now leading me in the darkness.

That this same God, this same good shepherd that was leading me just a second ago to lay down in green meadows to drink from good, cold, clean water.

There's nothing, brother Josh, here he drinks nothing but water.

Man's like, ah, I've got water.

He makes me feel bad.

When we go to a restaurant and I'm ordering the soda, he's like, no, I'll take water.

Okay, it's been like a year now coming up close to it.

He understands the taste of good water, whether he likes it or not.

And so you're telling me that this God that loves me and cares for me so much is a good shepherd, and then he's going to lead me down the right path.

So you're affirming that he is going to start leading me where I need to go, and then in the next verse, you say it's going to be in the darkest valleys, that math don't add up.

But yet we have to understand that in those darkest valleys is where God can shine the brightest In these lowest times of our life, is where God can really lift us up and begin to grow us.

He guides me along right paths to bring honor to his name.

When we start to give our life to God, we start to understand that our life, whatever he chooses to do with it inside of his hands, is for his glory, not ours.

And so then, whatever happens in wherever God leads us, we understand that where he is guiding us is not for our glory, but it's for his.

He renews my strength from him is where we find our strength.

He guides us even when not if, even when I'll say it again not if, when.

When I walk through the darkest valleys, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me.

Now, this close beside me part like if you read scripture, usually you have something in your mind or an experience of yours, and it kind of makes the scripture come a little more alive to you.

So when this said that you are close beside me, I will not fear, it reminded me of our last summer trip.

We went it was around Dallas, I think, or something.

We took Tristan and Tristan loves Ripley's.

Believe it or Not, it's like he sees it for the first time.

Every time my dad takes him there, we'll take him there if it's around Like we know he likes it, it's a go-to thing.

We know he will eat it up.

We go, get lost in the maze of mirrors and we can't find our way out.

There's a whole lot of ugly in there when I'm in there and so all these things like and then they have a scare like a haunted I don't know a certain year and something happened or whatever.

And you walk through there they have the eerie sounds and you hear you know they have something go off over here and steam comes out and you're like so Tristan is latched onto my arm but he is determined to go through this thing.

So when I read this scripture to me it was like a father with his child going through a scary place and I remember Tristan taking those steps as if I did not take a step.

He did not take a step If I did not go forward or I stepped back.

He was going forward, he was stepping back.

We were waltzing while we were in this scary place back and forth.

He was not going to go anywhere where he could not hold onto my arm.

How many times do we get in the darkest valleys and we get scared and we start letting go and then we say, god, where are you?

It's like a father and a child.

Do the scary stuff.

We hold on your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.

So here's where we're going to land in verse 5.

You, you, god, you prepare a feast for me in the midst of my enemies.

Seriously, I have to pass her around like this, and y'all have been working out a lot, like the other day she was doing leg day and she's like I've been doing leg day.

And Josh is like, yeah, man, I've been doing leg day.

And Josh is like, yeah, man, I've been doing leg day too.

I can't breathe.

And so all these workouts are for a reason.

You know what they are they're tearing apart the muscle.

They're literally ripping the muscle so new growth can happen In our lives, in these dark valleys, resistance training is a must for us to grow spiritually.

We have to start ripping that muscle apart so that new growth can happen.

It is painful, it is not very desirable.

But and sometimes when you're in the gym forever, you don't see immediate results, and this could keep you from going back to the gym.

It could keep you from doing that cardio, because I've been working out for two days now.

I should be how I want to look.

I should just be able to go like this and it all falls off.

Go, get some spirit again.

I'm telling you, it seems like we are struggling and fighting an uphill battle, but we end up getting so short-sighted and thinking that if we can't see the result right now, why keep going?

It is a tearing.

The most resistance builds the greatest muscle, and church people love to eat.

Can I get an amen?

We're doing it next Sunday and God encourages us.

David here is encouraging us to sit at the table with those we don't want to, even so much so he called them enemies.

You have to sit with your husband or wife.

You have to sit with your husband or wife.

Some of you may go out to lunch today and you're sitting across from somebody you don't even recognize anymore.

That's real life.

We don't want to talk about it in church because everybody's got everything perfect right.

We don't have any problems in here.

Everybody's got everything solved.

But let me tell you something when you're sitting across from somebody, you don't no-transcript and you're like I don't want to do this anymore.

It's easy to walk away.

But the Bible says to sit down with your enemy.

You have to face them.

You have to endure and I'm not just talking about marriage, so get that out of your head.

I'm not saying you have to endure your spouse and all this other stuff.

We're talking about enemies here.

We have to endure the process of growth.

Now, I know this seems terrible, it's not fun.

You'll be miserable, too much for you to bear.

And it may seem, like I said before, that God is out to punish you, or it may seem like the devil is out to get you, that God is out to punish you, or it may seem like the devil is out to get you.

But if we truly believe Romans 8, 28, and we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love him and are called to him according to his purpose, it is these intense moments that what God can do will stick and it'll last and it'll be true progress.

But if that is the case, then that means we have to submit.

Mm, mm-mm.

I don't like that word.

So you're telling me that I have to stop what I'm thinking is right or submit who I am, and then you're going to say, once I do that you're going to lead me to the spot I don't want to be in anyways.

It seems counterintuitive, but it's actually exactly where you're supposed to be.

Sometimes we have to submit how we think it's going to look, how things are supposed to be, how it's supposed to feel.

If you're like me, I don't like being in uncomfortable places where I don't feel like I'm welcomed.

I don't like being in uncomfortable places where I don't feel like I'm welcomed.

I don't like being in uncomfortable spots where I don't feel that I belong.

I don't like being in a family where, when we show up and we're all together and I feel like I'm the oddball.

I don't like showing up to a job where I feel that I'm not the one that's appreciated.

It's hard to face things when we're uncomfortable in them.

It's hard to come up on things and sit at the table when we don't feel that that's really what we want to face.

But to let God be fully in control, we have to submit to him.

If we're really wanting God's hand in it.

We have to let go If we're wanting to hand it to God.

If I have something in my hand and I'm trying to hand it to you but I never let go, you'll never receive it.

If you're trying to hand it over to God but you're still clenching your fist, you're never going to really let go.

You're never going to really give it to God.

If you're walking around like this all the time with your hand closed.

The same way, come with blessings.

If God's trying to bless you and you're holding on to it like this and you never let it go and pass through you, you're not going to be able to catch the next one.

You have to be able to let it go and this is one of the most hard.

Listen, I am a man of control.

I'm telling you, I've told you all this before, but I'm just confessing my sins.

If something is moved in the house of where I put it, if my tool is not in the cluttered spot that I had it, I get upset because I want it to be where I left it and how I left it.

Tristan talking about a comfortable table.

He don't want nowhere around me.

When I start finding stuff, I'm like why is this in your?

He's not allowed to have food in his room for this very reason Because he hides things and he throws food under his bed and under his pillow.

And then I find the trash in his bathroom because he's trying to hide it.

I'm like what are you doing?

He don't want to sit at that uncomfortable table, but I have to let it go because, yes, am I being petty, probably?

I know I have a problem.

I don't know how to fix it, but the first step in fixing this petty issue that I have personally is letting go of it.

Like I've told you this before, we have three dogs.

We have a partially fenced-in backyard so we walk them.

They have little collars.

You push the thing, it'll beep or it'll vibrate, and so we hang the little remote to it up on this little thing where you could put letters.

I put my wallet up there.

It hangs keys on it.

My keys are all the way to the left, the dog collar is all the way to the right.

She has a pick of four or five other ones that she can do and it seems that she always comes in and puts it on top of the dog thing.

So when I am being a good husband and I'm taking care of the animals.

I can't get the dog thing off, so I lift her keys and I start taking care of the dogs.

And I started to learn that real change started happening, not in her but in me, when I started to shut up, just laying that one easy.

The real change started to happen when I realized it wasn't my wife's fault, it's not on her mind, it's on mine.

Now let me tell you this All right If y'all just got married, but just if you're newly married, if you're married a while and this is an issue in your household, which it may be, leaving the toilet seat up can be a problem.

Household, which it may be, leaving the toilet seat up can be a problem, especially if you're ah, in the middle of the night.

Whoops, forgot again, sorry.

So this is what I did to fix the problem.

I don't know if I ever told her this, so I'm confessing some more sins, just to get real today.

All right, I, on purpose, when I get done using the bathroom, I put the seat and the top down so that she has to lift something and feel my pain Every time I go to the bathroom.

I put that entire thing down so that she can feel what I feel when I have to lift.

Have I ever told you that before?

I didn't think so.

I may need somewhere to stay for the next couple of weeks.

You got a couch.

Thank you, sir, I appreciate it.

So what happened?

I didn't get mad about the toilet seat issue I made.

I made.

I might've made another issue, but she's never said anything about it.

But I did something that I felt was good enough that justified me being just a little.

Every time I put it down, I'm like every time and she don't even know.

She just found out today she may feel the pain now that I confessed it, but that little thing right, there was something that I could have got upset about or it could have been an issue in our household A toilet seat.

If that's your biggest fight, your marriage has really gone to the toilet, and so, instead of worrying about the hanging thing and her keys being moved, I was like you know what, it doesn't matter.

And, yes, I tried moving it over a couple of spots, and sometimes she still does it.

But instead of me saying this is the spot it's supposed to be in, I will just move it a couple of hangs over and it's 90% of the problem has been solved.

I had to realize that I was the issue.

I will, my flesh will fight against sitting at uncomfortable tables every single time.

I do not wanna sit in front of a problem and face it.

Now, I have no problem facing controversy with people, but when it has to do with me, I don't want to face it.

Surely I can't be the issue.

Surely I can't be the problem.

Surely I couldn't just move that thing and hang it two times to the left and let her have that whole side, or hang it underneath my keys.

That would be too easy.

That would be resolving things without causing issues.

Are you catching what I'm throwing?

You picking up what I'm laying down?

All right, we can move on then, but I had to let it go.

All right, we can move on then, but I had to let it go.

I kept trying to solve the problem, holding on so tight to the way that I thought it had to be whiting my knuckles because I was not good.

I'm pulling from the scripture.

I will not be shaken.

I will not be moved.

We're real good at quoting scripture when it fits our agenda and I would not let this thing.

It would irritate me so bad that I would yell at the dogs hurry up when it was time for them to go, and they didn't do nothing.

They're the sweetest dogs in the world but I let it bleed out on the ones I love because I wouldn't look at myself in the mirror and I became my biggest obstacle.

Now, once we start to let this go, there's some serious prayers that I want you to really start.

I want you to feel this.

This is something that has been breaking my heart for the last two or three weeks, and I was talking with Pastor Aaron last.

I think it was Thursday and we were talking about like.

I'm reading this book Dangerous Prayers by Craig Rochelle, and he's a pastor at Life Church and I'm reading this and it's talking about like how small and insignificant our prayers are, that we act like we're prayer warriors and we pray like little children that don't really know the power of God.

It says come to me as a child, don't be childlike.

So we need to act like the warriors God's called us and labeled us as, and the power he's given us through the Holy Spirit.

This is something that we can wear proudly and step into and out of this book.

I've been just letting it pour into me.

I get a lot of road time with work and so I'm just and he had this chapter and he's talking about a real dangerous prayer God use me here I am Lord, send me.

That's dangerous.

I never thought in the next couple months I'd be moving to Longview, texas.

I've been here maybe twice in my entire life.

I never thought I would be a minister at a church or leading worship in a church in Longview.

Never crossed my mind.

But when we start to pray God, here I am, send me.

It's dangerous, it's serious and God will take you serious.

You ever ask for patience and then you have a child.

Or you say, god, help me with my anger.

And then your kid makes you so angry.

All the time I'm praying through y'all, I'm just confessing again.

I'm like God, help me with my anger.

And then he says, okay, here's some training.

Here I am Lord, send me.

Okay, here's a place to go.

Whatever you want, god, do it in my life.

Whatever you want to do, whatever you want to do, okay, be ready for the brokenness.

When I was talking to Pastor Aaron on the phone he started choking up because he was talking last Tuesday, I was coming to church and I have an hour and 10 minute roughly drive from where we live over to here, and on Tuesday mornings if you don't know, if you're not a part of it every Tuesday on 10 am we pray.

If you're not up here, wherever you are, pray.

Prayer works and we are a church that believes in the power of prayer.

You do not have to be physically here to be a part of our prayer meeting.

It changes things.

It moves mountains.

It changes people.

Sit on the cubicle next to them and pray the spirit down on them, pray for your enemies, right.

And so, after I've been reading this book, I'm saying God just really, really, take me and hollow me.

This was my exact words.

Hollow me out, let there be nothing left, let there be no secret desire, let there be no secret thought, let there be no skeletons in my mind, in my heart.

Let there be nothing hidden from you, let there be nothing hidden from anyone else.

God, take me who I am and completely change me from the ground up.

And last Tuesday, on the way to prayer meeting, I could not stop crying the entire trip and I started listening to this song.

It's called Champion.

It talks about how God is raising up people and using people who don't.

We don't deserve it, but yet he uses us anyways.

We have not done anything to earn it.

Perfection can't earn it, our works can't earn it.

But he says if you will just be a willing vessel, I will use you.

And I said, god, if nobody else will do it, send me.

And I started just like I couldn't stop crying.

I tried.

I even thought about, like the people driving next to me, like, oh, this guy's having a hard time, no, I'm touching heaven y'all.

And man, I just could not stop crying.

Pastor Aaron was talking to me.

He said, man, god's been doing the same thing to me and Pastor Aaron was telling me about.

He was saying God, melt me down, start me over, refresh me, renew me, revive me.

And that is the way that the church heart needs to be.

That needs to be the heartbeat of the church, that we need to say God, whatever it takes to reach the lost where we are, god, use me, send me, hollow me out, melt me down, so that nothing is left but you.

We need revival in our hearts.

After Jesus was crucified and resurrected, things begin to happen and God began to pour out his spirit like never before.

We all know what happened on the day of Pentecost like a mighty rushing wind in the upper room.

We need to have some upper room experiences like has never happened before, because the people that are here now said God, if you can use me, please send me.

Whatever I am, whatever agenda I have, whatever mindset I have, let me to get out of the way and destroy me, break me, and in that brokenness, every single time, that path will lead you to uncomfortable tables, because I love to be in control.

But for God to really use me, I have to submit.

You're like.

Well, this is a great verse, great chapter.

Prove it.

I'm glad you asked.

In Luke 22, jesus, literally, he literally lived out these verses.

He was the good shepherd and he literally sat down at an uncomfortable table.

Now, this table that they sit down with many times before it was a table of trust, it was a table of love.

These are good tables.

Nothing wrong with these tables.

A table of discipleship, of encouragement, vulnerability and sometimes even conflict.

You know just something that I've seen growing up in the church it seems that we sometimes run away from conflict, and conflict can be a very good thing, because there's no possible way at all, scientifically, that iron can sharpen iron without friction.

You can't, there's no way for you to gain strength in your physical body unless you tear that muscle down and rebuild it fresh and new.

So there's no way that we can really know it.

I didn't know.

We dated for a little less than a year before we got married.

I did not know her until our first conflict.

I didn't know that the quiet was before the storm.

I didn't realize that the quieter she got was the madder she was getting.

I thought she just didn't want to talk to me.

Well, she didn't, but I didn't know that I was about to die Because see if from my family she can attest to this we're loud.

If you've met me, I'm a loud person.

My wife tells me not to take phone calls in public because I talk so stinking loud.

I don't know why I do it.

My dad does it.

I don't know.

If you have some help please.

So I want to embarrass my wife because I get phone calls a lot.

But these tearing downs, these uncomfortable tables.

But these tearing downs, these uncomfortable tables In Luke 22,.

That night became a table for Jesus of betrayal, and Jesus literally lived out Psalm 23.

He was literally sitting at the table with his enemy.

Now, if you desire what I desire, and that is to God to use us like never before around this area and in this state in this world, that we have to, as Christians, as believers, to get in the position of brokenness, we have to, there's no way around it, because until you will bawl your eyes out for someone who doesn't know God, you don't understand the compassion of Jesus and you will never be able to truly reach them, because you can't see anything but their sin.

It's hard to see people that you aren't compassionate about for really who God sees them as, instead of what they are, because if that was the case, you're getting preached at from a meth dealer, a meth addict, an alcoholic.

But because who I was doesn't determine who God can use me as.

That's something that's been something I've been fighting with in my heart since the day I came back to the Lord, because I feel that I am so unworthy.

And guess what?

We all are unworthy Because the Bible says and declares that everyone has sinned.

We all have a past, but through the blood of Jesus Christ we all can have a future.

And when we start seeing people that are lost and don't know God through those eyes, and that is in the veins of Connect Church, and we believe that with all of our heart and we're saying God, break me, use me, lead me, guide me, whatever it looks like, god, I am here, I am available.

I am an empty vessel.

There's a worship song that's top of my list right now and it talks about Lord, my cup is empty.

Fill me up.

What tables have you been sitting at that you're extremely comfortable?

What have we allowed to come and sit at our table?

God's trying to use it and we make him a bed to sleep.

But the path that had to happen, with Judas sitting at that table with Jesus, that enemy had to be there.

He was a part of the story of salvation.

Because if we believe what Romans said that God works for everything for the good of those that love him, then we have to submit to that idea that wherever we're sitting and whoever's in front of us, that God is going to use that.

I grew up really, really old school, actually a lot of the songs that we sing today, like my dad would.

We always sang them at our church, all the time, every service and I start to really understand that you know the devil.

You hear a lot of people like the devil's just after me today.

I mean that's a common go-to.

I want to propose to you that maybe God is after you, that maybe what you've been experiencing and suffering through is not something that God or that the devil is trying to push on you, but God is trying to lead you through, because if you don't have resistance, you can't grow.

If you can't sit in front of somebody that you don't like, you can't grow.

It's tough.

If you can't sit down at the same table with somebody that you don't like, how can you have compassion for people you don't know and they don't know God?

It's tough because that means it's in your face.

It's really comfortable to pray for people at a distance.

It is.

It's very uncomfortable when you get up on them and they stink and they're twitching and they're talking fast and you can smell that they hadn't taken baths in weeks.

It's different.

The table can get really uncomfortable because they don't fit in the same.

You know what I mean.

They're not in your bubble.

I want God to burst our bubbles.

I want a fresh, new pouring out of the Spirit, and you know, what I noticed is that when Jesus would teach throughout his entire ministry, he didn't go to the Pharisees and talk to them.

He was out in the hot and the stink.

Back then y'all, they didn't take baths like we do today when it says I anoint your head with oil or you anoint my head with oil.

You know why that is.

Actually, it was a very pricey thing back then and so when you would come in and you would eat at the table and you would sit at the table and you were a guest, they would anoint your head because most likely you stink, just like they would wash the feet because they didn't have, like we have today, where we all shower and we can tell when someone doesn't.

Back then you could just not shower, nobody would know you blend it in.

But the path where Jesus was sitting at the table with Judas, it was a path that had to be taken.

Can you imagine?

I love to put myself in the Bible stories, like there's Jesus and the 12 disciples and I'm at the end.

That's how I view the Bible, because I want to know what they felt.

I want to know what they were thinking.

Can you imagine what Jesus felt when he was sitting and looking at Judas I mean, he even spoke up about it Said the one that's their hands on the same table as me right now is going to betray me.

I can't imagine that kind of man.

So can I be a little transparent with you about my personal life?

One of the most uncomfortable tables for me in my entire life was dealing with having an ex-wife.

It's tough.

I could easily in my mind justify all the wrong things I wanted to say in front of our child.

I can easily justify being upset at that person that gets the promotion over me all the time.

And so then I end up putting on all this armor that's not the armor of God, but it's the armor of selfishness to protect me so nobody can get in.

And then I can get upset about people being two-faced at work and the boss never really sees how they are.

Those are tables that I would want to sit at, not to be led by the Lord, but for fleshly desires, and tell him what's up.

And to have my boss sit next to me and say look, this is really what's going on.

God doesn't call us to that, he calls us to be above that.

That's hard.

That's a hard path to follow.

So in your life, if you submit to the will of God, if you submit to where God wants to lead you, and you say God, break me.

Craig Rochelle, the pastor that wrote the book I'm reading, he said one of his mentors, he was sitting down and talking with him and he was trying to.

They were having lunch, they were trying to talk and he was trying to get ideas because he was starting a new church and he didn't know what to do next.

You know, because you start growing a church, you have to be able to keep growing and keep building and getting things.

You know, keep going.

So nothing tilters and it falls.

So he said you know, what wisdom can you give me?

You know he's just looking for that nugget.

You know what I mean.

That thing that's're like oh, that's it, that's from the Lord.

You know the heavens shake and all this other stuff.

And he said I promise you this that God will break you.

That is not what you want to hear, but if you read through the scriptures you can see what God's promises really are that through the brokenness comes the blessings.

Daily submission leads to spiritual blessings that are birthed through the growing pains of submission.

Let me say that again, to get our flesh out of the way, we have to have daily submission and it leads to spiritual blessings that are birthed through the growing pains of submissions.

Blessings that last are usually wrapped in the shell of brokenness.

True blessings are wrapped up in brokenness and we have to be very careful that through this brokenness we don't let it turn into bitterness.

We have to be careful that through this brokenness we do not allow that to become bitterness, because God is trying to do a work and it will rob you of the blessing that God is trying to deliver straight to you.

And we know this just from general fact that what you feed grows and what you starve dies.

If you feed your flesh, it will grow.

Your spiritual strength will fade.

If you feed your spirit, your flesh will fade.

It will become weaker, because what you feed grows and what you starve dies.

Sitting at a meal in the midst of your enemies leads you to a place of conversation you never would have approached.

Like I said before, I would not voluntarily go and sit down at a table that is uncomfortable.

Our flesh wants to fight against it.

We want to fight against the things that will make us grow the most.

My son thinks that vacuuming is the biggest torture he has ever endured in his life.

He's not understanding that I'm helping him grow in responsibility and character and we also, as a punishment, make him scoop dog doo-doo in the backyard and he will prefer that to vacuuming.

But it's like responsibility is something we naturally fight against.

It takes those training of the new grooves in our brain to reinvent our brain to where our habits are changing.

What you feed grows and what you starve dies.

But when we start to submit to God and we really say God, use me, god, hollow me out, I don't want anything left.

And when I say, hollow me out, well, this is what I'm thinking of.

I love avocados.

You ever taken them and you hollow them out, and there's nothing but the shell left, just a little bit of structure.

That's what I'm thinking like in my head.

I'm like God just take everything out.

Just take everything out, even the seed.

I don't want no seeds but yours.

Hollow me out.

At these uncomfortable tables we end up approaching these moments and conversations that never would have happened.

That then leads to true healing, that will lead to reconciliation, an extreme and intense problem solving that leads to true peace and purpose.

We have such a false sense of peace and purpose floating out there in the world today.

People have loads of knowledge coming in through their phones and computers and have no wisdom to use it.

It's like they're just dangling on the cliff and they just a little push will send them over the edge.

But sitting at these tables of uncomfortable conversation and uncomfortable meals eating together, you ever talk to somebody you're like, okay, this is pretty important, you probably need to sit down.

That makes sense.

The process of uncomfortable, but the process is uncomfortable, but it is necessary.

We have to face, we have to endure.

If we want to really truly grow.

We have to let go of control, because if we I'll say the verse again if we believe truly that Romans 8.28 is that we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those that love him, if we really want to make a change in your personal life, at your job, and find out if it's really what you've been asking for.

You see, like I said earlier about patience, we pray for patience, but we don't want the training.

We pray for strength, but we don't want the hard work.

We pray for a business to grow, but we don't want to put in the effort.

We pray for strength, but we don't want the hard work.

We pray for a business to grow, but we don't want to put in the effort.

We pray for spiritual growth, but we don't want to do the fasting and the praying that God said we need to do.

We want our church to grow, but we won't grow spiritually to be able to handle that growth when it does happen to disciple others.

Was that too fast?

Let me run it back.

We want to be able to disciple people.

We want to be able to disciple people.

We want to be able to help them grow.

But first we have to do that ourselves.

We first have to be good examples of discipleship to display that for other people.

But to do that we have to let go our petty differences and, by the way, this is not a sermon about petty differences with anybody here, because this is probably one of the most unified churches I've ever been a part of.

Y'all are amazing.

I don't know if you know that or not, but y'all are wonderful.

But what I do know is this right now we are in green pastures, but we may be walking down some dark valleys.

You start bringing in people who have not been in church their entire lives, which is who we should be reaching to.

We should not be reaching our hand in the cookie jar of other churches.

We should not be trying to get people from other churches to come here.

If you want to see true growth and an outpouring of God, get people that are so dumb to believe it that they have not been indoctrinated with anything except for raw truth and raw love, and they feel that and are displayed through us.

We have to be willing to sit at the uncomfortable tables, just as Jesus did, and I wanted to touch on that story in Luke 22 because I wanted you to understand that in a lot of undesirable conversations or undesirable tables that you end up sitting at, that, jesus felt it too.

It's nice to know when someone feels your pain.

Who better to be an example to us than Jesus?

Never look to me, look to Jesus.

Let's draw our strength from Jesus.

He was literally sitting there, but if you want to fully submit to God's will, soon after this he prayed in the garden.

He said God, if you can take this cup from me, that's okay.

It's okay to pray those kinds of prayers, but we have to understand that when God doesn't take the cup that you have to eat up, that you have to be willing to sit down at the table and let God do His work, because when you sit down at the table that God has prepared for you, when you sit down at the table, even in the midst of your enemies, and God has set it up, you're going to be fed.

Don't fight it, let God use it.

I'll say it again Don't fight it, let God use it.

Everything works together for the good of those that love the Lord.

Everything works together for the good of those that love the Lord.

Even when you feel that everything.

Have you ever had one of those days to where it's like okay, I woke up and I slipped and fell out of the bed.

I was going to get my coffee and the thing exploded all down the front of me.

Well then I have to change clothes and take a shower again.

Now I'm 30 minutes late to work.

You know it just starts to trickle and you're like what is going on?

God said well, are you going to love me, even when it's bad?

Think about it.

God tests us, and when we understand and we recognize that that it's not always the devil trying to get us.

Yes, we wrestle, not against flesh and blood, but our principalities and the darkness that is trying to fight and, you know, manipulate what's going on in our lives.

But we have to understand and submit to that God is the ultimate authority in this situation, that God is not winning, he has already won that.

It is not us that has to submit to the devil and say, no, don't come and get me please, but it's us that can walk in the authority of Jesus Christ.

These tables are so uncomfortable, but in the same table God will use to get you to the next level.

It's a growth process.

You have to trust the process.

So I don't know who's sitting at your table today, but I do know this If you are submitting to the will of God and you are really listening to what God has to say to you, chances are he probably led you there and that's okay.

Enjoy the food.

The company might not be great, but if God set up the table, you're going to eat good.

The company may stink, it may not be anybody you would talk to in a million years, but here you are sitting looking at them in the face.

Let God use it.

Let God use you, because guess what you know, what I know, when I read the Bible it becomes such a great encouragement because you have all these instances and these stories and parables and things and you're like.

That fits exactly how I'm feeling right now.

God's not going to lead you to a table and leave you left confused, because, if you're like me and Pastor Aaron, god has been leading us to different tables.

Right now, my table.

I feel like it's brokenness, it's hard being broken, it hurts and sometimes you want to scream God, what are you doing, uncle?

Uncle, you're going to break it and he's like I know God knows what he's doing.

He loves you that much.

If you've ever had a child, sometimes you have to let the child fall.

It always heals.

You have to let the child stick his finger up there and get burnt when you told him a thousand times that's hot.

If you're like me, I have to learn the hard way.

I have to get burnt before some of y'all are nudging your spouses.

I have to learn the hard way.

I have to get burnt before some of y'all are nudging your spouses.

I have to learn the hard way for it to really stick.

So my brokenness sometimes has just been learning the lesson God's trying to get to me, but a level of spiritual brokenness that God is trying to bring this church to.

You know how I know it's like if you read all throughout the Bible when they anoint them.

They didn't just dab them like we do and put it on their head, they anointed them.

And the brokenness and the spirit of God has started at the head of the church and it has been working its way down as the oil pours over the body and begins to spread and just cover.

God has been pouring out his spirit and brokenness on our pastor and on your associate pastor and on your youth pastor.

Get ready for the oil.

It's coming your way.

Get ready for the brokenness.

Brokenness hurts.

It'll jack you up, it'll mess you up so bad you won't know which way is up.

It'll make you not understand things and like God, why am I here?

What's going on?

God, I don't understand what is happening right now.

And he says I know, isn't it great?

Because if you knew you would try to get involved?

If you knew you would try to get in the middle of it and mess it up.

But God's saying you don't have to worry about the details Just be broken.

You are not the potter, you are the clay.

He breaks, he remolds, he shapes, he moves, he guides, he leads.

God, let our hearts be softened like never before for the city of Longview.

Let our brokenness be so strong that we can't drive through these streets without our heart being broken for those that don't know you, god, our past and our brokenness.

Use it, lord, to reach those that don't know you.

God, our past and our brokenness.

Use it, lord, to reach those that don't know you.

God, everything that we have been through, everything that we have suffered through.

God, use our suffering to bring salvation to others.

God, let us embrace the brokenness.

Let us embrace these uncomfortable tables.

God, use what's left of us, lord, we ask God that you touch each person that is here, if ever your head is bowed.

We have to be willing for God to use us.

He is a gentleman.

He is the all authority, all supreme, but he will find someone who is willing.

I want this church to be a beacon of light to Longview, texas.

I want our hearts to be so soft, so full of compassion, but yet stern in the truth and the word of God.

Those are the two things that will bring people to repentance.

We get so caught up in programs and what we need to do here, what we need to do there to draw the people in.

But the Bible says if we lift him up, if we lift God up, if we lift Jesus up before men, he will do the drawing.

He will do the drawing.

He will bring them unto himself.

If you are under the sound of my voice today, you're watching online and you do not know God, today is your day.

If you have not asked for forgiveness, right now is your time.

If your heart has become stone and you need God to make you over again, to hollow you out, to melt you down, whatever phrase you want to use, you want God to use you and give you a heart full of compassion again, because you have grown cold and stiff.

Just raise your hand and say God, I need a renewing of you.

We want to pray with you.

We want to pray for you.

Just lift your hands up and say, god, I need more of you.

God, renew me, renew my strength.

God, help me to become broken.

God, we want to be broken again.

We need to be broken again.

We have to have more of you, god, and less of us, god, soften our hearts, move on our hearts with compassion.

Lord, let us see people through your eyes and not our own.

Let us love people through your eyes and not our own.

Let us love people through your heart and not our own.

With all the hands lifted now, god, I pray over these people right now, in the name of Jesus.

That, god, you break us down, that you restore our hearts, lord, that you let us to lean not on our understanding but on yours, god.

When we don't understand the path that has brought us, to lean not on our understanding, but on yours, god, when we don't understand the path that has brought us to this table, or whether we are doing things under the table, god, we shouldn't be doing Right now.

In the name of Jesus, I plead the blood over these people.

Renew our strength, soften our hearts, god, do a work in us that only you can do.

God, let this place be a testimony of what God can do with willing vessels.

Lord, I pray that you bless the people today.

Bless them as they leave, lord.

Anoint each one of them with a special, unique anointing for their household, from the front to the back, the youngest to the oldest, the tallest to the shortest.

God, we plead the blood over these people watching at home.

We ask God that you pour out your spirit like never before, right in their homes.

Let a breakout of the Holy Ghost happen.

Let us not be ashamed of what your word says, but let us live it out through righteousness and love God, let us have a great week.

Bless the people coming Tuesday for prayer meeting.

Bless the things we have coming up.

Lord, let our church at Connect be a place where people can come for a refuge.

In your name we pray amen.