The Art of the Table: Part 1 - Pastor Monie & Craig Lotze

Hey, this is Andrew Damasio, the lead pastor of Rose Church here at Portland.

Welcome to our podcast.

Our mission here at Rose is building a faith for people.

Becoming like Jesus in community and growing in our faith.

Whoever you are and wherever you are, I pray today's message challenges you and encourages you on your walk with Jesus.

Thank you so much for listening.

Enjoy today's podcast.

Hey, Matt, I just want to give you a quick family update about us because Rose, you are family to us.

This is our ever-increasing family.

And the two little cuties up there are our great-grands.

And these two granddaughters got married within the last year, and they are both expecting.

So we are gonna have four great-grands in addition to our 14 grandchildren.

So hallelujah.

Okay.

I guess we're doing okay by the grace of God, I guess.

All right.

Yeah.

So we're I I have to say, Pastor Andrew, thank you for giving us this assignment.

It has stretched us.

So Moni and I preach a lot at different times, really all around the world, but we do it by ourselves.

And so for the we've been working on the messages for a couple months and praying over for a couple months, but actually just the last two weeks, bringing what we have together.

And uh that it's I say it's like synchronized swimming.

Yes.

You know, when you're preaching by yourself, you can miss a spot and come back to it, whatever.

But when you're synchronized and you miss a spot, you go, hey, hey, you're supposed to say this right now.

So thank you for stretching us.

We've had some good laughs, it's been awesome.

So the art of the table, and we have a table so apropos, so perfect.

Um that I uh and it's cultivating biblical relationships, is what it's gonna be about.

And I looked up cultivating and I thought, well, that's really good.

Cultivating means work.

Look at your neighbor and say work.

Work, cultivating.

It means work, it means work.

Did I say it means work?

It means work, it means tilling, planting, weeding, watering, extra effort, and it means work.

And to have a successful marriage, it's gonna take work.

To have a successful relationship of any kind, it's gonna take work.

And so that's that's what we're gonna talk about today.

Um, let's go to a scripture in Ephesians chapter 5.

Ephesians 5 · chapter mention

This is a scripture you maybe have heard at a few weddings.

We'll see.

It says, for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

So for the ten verses before this, he has talked about husbands, wives, husbands, wives, marriage, marriage, husbands, wives.

Then he says that, and then the shifts into this.

This would not be synchronized if he had to do it with someone else, I'm just telling you right now.

He says this.

He goes, This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

So what's he talking about?

Is he talking about marriage or is he talking about Christ and the church?

And the answer is yes.

He's talking about both of them.

That word mystery means a sacred secret or truth that was previously hidden by God, but he has now revealed to us.

And this scripture, again, is often quoted in weddings.

And much of the mystery that he's talking about there is that two people can become one.

But then he points to the church and he says, When we come to Christ, two become one.

And so that is a big part of the mystery that he's talking about.

Um, but I I think when I read this scripture, even when I've read it at weddings, my thought is, could it be when people look at our marriage, they're supposed to be able to see representation of Christ and the church?

How's that for a big assignment?

We should have an altar call, Pastor, right now, for all of us married folk.

You know, no wonder if that is the case, and I believe that is the case, that God wants our marriages to be such a representation of Him that people can look at that and want Jesus by looking at our marriages.

No wonder hell fights so hard against marriages.

I mean, there is an all-out war on marriages.

In every way possible, the enemy is after it.

So let me make a very strong statement.

Marriage was God's idea.

Do you ever, when you'd say it, mewage?

Mewage.

Marriage, it's hard once you've said it to stay away from it.

Marriage was God's idea.

Marriage was God's idea.

Marriage is so close to God's heart and God's plans for what He wants to do on the planet.

It is so close to it that He wants to protect it.

It's sacred in His eyes.

And so when you and I get married, His plan was not that we get married, and it's a contract.

Because humans have a sneaky way of getting out of contracts.

So God came up with something called covenant.

And it's not a word we hear these days that much, but it is absolutely a biblical kingdom of God term, and we're gonna talk a little bit about what that means.

In Malachi 2, verse 14, we don't have it for up there.

Malachi 2:14

God is getting after someone, and he says, Your wife is the wife of your covenant marriage.

So in the heart of God, marriage is supposed to be a covenant.

So most of us entered into our wedding ceremony and we said things like this I make these vows and declarations before God and these witnesses.

I just made covenant with God.

I'm promising God that I'm gonna do these things that I have said.

And so uh it one thing that covenant means is that there's not just two people in this union, there is actually three: Moni and I and God.

And I'll tell you what, that revelation, if I will keep it fresh in my mind, will change how this goes.

Because it's, and the Bible says that there, that a threefold cord is not easily broken.

That to me makes a statement about a two-fold cord.

If a threefold cord is not easily broken, then a two-fold cord is easier to break than a threefold cord.

Let's apply that to marriage.

If it's just the two of us, that cord can get broken.

But if it's a threefold cord, it is not easily broken.

So Moni and I got that revelation early on when we we were married in our married life, and the Lord spoke this to one of the challenges we have through the years is did God tell her first or did he tell me first?

Since I'm talking, I will say he told me this first, but he might have told her first.

The Lord told us this.

He said, Craig, when you are talking to Moni, you're not just talking to her, you are talking to me in her.

And so you be careful how you talk to her.

So from the very beginning, that has been something in our relationship, in our marriage, that we've realized I gotta be careful how I talk to her because I'm also talking to him.

So the more aware you and I can become of our uh that God is a part of our marriage, and singles will have something for you too.

Candy bars at the back.

No, I'm just kidding.

The second thing about covenant, sorry.

The second thing about covenant, not only is there three in this covenant, but a covenant is more binding and serious than a mere contract.

In Genesis 15, God wants to make a promise to Abraham, and he says, Abraham, I'm gonna give you this land to inherit.

And let's start in verse 8, and Abraham's kind of concerned whether it's gonna happen or not.

He says, Lord God, how shall I know I will inherit it?

So here's God promising him, I'm gonna give you this land, and Abraham's saying, How do I know this is really gonna happen?

So listen to God's response.

So he said to him, Bring me a three-year-old heifer, three-year-old female goat, three-year-old ram, a turtle dove, and a young pigeon.

Then he brought all these to him and cut them in two down the middle and placed each piece opposite each other.

But he did not cut the birds in two for our bird lovers.

That's probably a good thing.

Okay.

And it came to pass when the sun went down and it was dark, that behold, there appeared a smoking oven and a burning torch.

One translation says a lamp of fire with when that passed between those pieces.

So that was a picture of God's presence going between these pieces.

What it meant was they killed those animals, put their pieces there, and when they made covenant, they walked through those pieces.

And what the person was saying when they walked through those pieces is if I break this promise, God do to me what has happened to these animals.

How's that for serious?

Wow.

That was covenant.

So let's finish what he says there.

It says that burning torch passed between the pieces.

On the same day the Lord made a covenant with Abraham, saying, To your descendants, I have given this land.

So that's the power of covenant.

Um, you and I, as we're looking at it today, uh my guess is why we don't still do this in weddings.

Is I think the venues would charge too much for a deposit because all the cleanup that's involved.

But now somebody could say to me, Well, Craig, that's old, Old Testament, Old Covenant.

But actually, do you know the New Covenant?

The New Testament was ratified through blood?

Whose blood?

Jesus said in his own words, this blood is it's my covenant.

I'll read it instead of messing it up.

This cup.

Am I inspiring you to believe everything I'm saying?

This cup is the new covenant in my blood.

So marriage is so important to God, it's so sacred to him that it's we're gonna represent the Lord.

Listen, there is no greater challenge you will have in your life than being married.

That is the bottom.

Any married couples agree with me right there?

The greatest challenge, you're under the same roof, you spend more time with that person than with anybody else.

You're you're around each other, you sleep in one bed, all of that.

It's almost like God designed it for a test.

I think he did.

I think it's all a test.

So, what it how are we gonna do that?

Well, it's gonna take a lot of work.

We already heard about that.

It's gonna take a lot of work, a lot of humility, a lot of repenting and forgiving.

And what we're gonna talk about today is it's gonna take a lot of prayer.

It's gonna take a lot of prayer.

That was not synchronized, as you could tell.

It's gonna take a lot of me, I'm not sure.

What?

Okay.

So that's what we're gonna focus on today.

How many of you have heard this statement?

Husbands and wives that pray together stay together.

Raise your hand if you've heard that statement.

Yeah, almost everybody.

Yeah.

Okay, here's the deal though.

This is the synchronized part.

This is the synchronized part.

So here we are.

The couple that prays together stays together is not just a catchy slogan, although it is pretty catchy.

There is something very, very powerful about seeking God side by side.

Because a strong relationship is not built on chemistry alone.

Although chemistry is great, we've got great chemistry from the beginning.

However, a strong relationship is built on a shared pursuit of Jesus.

The more you seek Him together, the stronger your foundation will become.

And one way to do that, it's not the only way, but it's the way we're talking about today.

One way to do that is by praying together.

A Gallup study found that only four percent of the Christian couples pray together regularly.

Four percent.

That's four and one hundred couples.

So if we had 100 couples in this room, that means only four of you are praying together regularly.

Now, I realize Rose is probably the exception to that rule because you have been taught so well by your pastors and discipled so well, and good on you.

But you're gonna know somebody that this is gonna help someday, right?

So, and of those who pray together regularly, fewer than 1% divorce.

Do you think there's something too praying together?

Wow.

But here's the reality: if I don't have some level of prayer life personally, it's gonna be a challenge for the two of us to pray together.

Praying together is something we've been intentional about from the beginning of our relationship, even before we were married.

We've definitely grown in it, we've been stronger in some seasons in it than others, and we are constantly learning how to find the rhythm of grace in it for the season that we are in.

I believe it's one thing that has been foundational to a healthy marriage for us.

Prayer and heaps of grace that we're getting from God and extending to each other.

I think that prayer creates a totally different kind of intimacy because it connects you not just to each other, but it connects you together to God.

It's that threefold cord that Craig was talking about that's not easily broken.

Praying together is one of those things that most couples would say, yeah, we know we should do it, but we don't do it.

Yeah.

There really is a war over praying together.

And right now, you're probably thinking, I'm just gonna shut down and I'm not gonna listen to this.

There is a war going on over you and your spouse, you and your significant other coming together in agreement in prayer.

Yeah, yeah.

So good.

You know, one of the things that can help us pray together is if we know the importance of prayer.

Um, I'm gonna make a statement to you, and then I'm gonna give you scriptures to back it up is God's will does not always happen.

Listen to what John Wesley said.

Where did I write it down here?

I got it here somewhere.

John Wesley said this: He said, God does nothing on earth except in answer to believing prayer.

I believe that statement too.

In Daniel chapter 9, Israel, the children of Israel, have been in captivity, and it's almost 70 years they've been in captivity.

Daniel 9 · chapter mention

Daniel says, looks through books, and he realizes Jeremiah had prophesied prior that they would be in captivity for 70 years.

How's that for a prophetic word?

So he knows God's will is we're supposed to be out of here pretty quick.

So what does Daniel do?

He could just sit back and say, Well, God, if it's your will, it's gonna happen.

I'll just sit here and sip on an iced tea and it's gonna come to pass.

But he doesn't do that.

He knows God is looking for someone to partner with him in prayer and birth God's will in that season.

So, what does Daniel do?

Daniel fasts and Daniel prays and he births the will of God.

He God is looking for us to partner with him.

He doesn't, he doesn't want to be just that one that waves a wand and makes things happen.

He wants sons and daughters to rise up and partner with him and birth his will on the earth.

Pray this way.

Your kingdom come.

Your will, his will is that it that earth be like heaven.

And how is that gonna happen?

Pray this way, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

In 1 Kings 18, um Elijah has prayed, because Israel is is worshiping false gods, that it not rain, and it doesn't rain for three years, and then God says to him, You go deal with this, and I'll bring rain.

So he has a promise from God.

God's will is to bring rain.

So he defeats the prophets of Baal, and then so now he knows God has said, if that happens, I'm gonna bring rain.

So what does he do?

Sit back and wait for God's will to happen?

No, he gets on his knees, he puts his head between his knees in the birthing position, and he prays God's will.

He partners with God.

God, it's your will.

You said you would bring rain, and it's not just God's will.

It says, I think it's in James, it said, his prayers brought the rain.

Wait a minute, Craig.

Was it God's will or his prayers?

Yes, it was God's will, but somebody had to pray and birth it.

Now listen, I know every God wants to bless every marriage in this household.

There is no question God wants to bless it.

But will we partner with him and pray God's blessing into our marriage is the question.

Not whether he wants to, not whether it's his will, but will we partner with him and birth that?

He wants to rain on every person here, rain blessing, rain favor.

He wants to do that, but we're gonna need to partner with him in prayer and birth that.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

You know, more than likely there are marriages here this morning, or you're watching online, or you're in an overflow room, and you really need God to send rain.

Your marriage is dry, the ground is cracked and broken, and you are desperate for God to come and meet you.

The good news is that God promises to send rain to the parched ground, and that he will cause a desert place to bloom.

Right?

He promises that.

However, we do have a responsibility, we have a part to play in that.

And honestly, what may look dead in your life, in your relationship, may simply be waiting for rain.

Come on, the reign of God to come.

You know how Elijah, he needed rain and he prayed.

He let prayer do the heavy lifting, he did what only he could do.

He walked in obedience to what God entrusted to him, and God did what only God could do.

God opened the heavens, God sent the rain.

So, big question as we continue in this when was the last time you and your spouse, your significant other, actually prayed together out loud.

We're gonna have you come up and speak into the mic to a lot of time.

Yeah, we're gonna one by one, you're gonna tell us how long, or if you have never.

We are gonna have real talk here today because real talk, biblical real talk is what is gonna help you get healthy, strong, have a flourishing.

We don't want you just to survive your marriage.

We want you to thrive in your marriage.

That is the will of God.

If we are supposed to represent Christ in the church, he doesn't want his church just surviving, he wants his church thriving.

Come on.

So it is with our marriages.

So we're gonna talk about some reasons why we don't pray.

We are, and this is I you we're gonna sell the video of us working together over the last two weeks.

One of the points that was so funny was so she gets to this point, she brings her this is what I'm feeling to share, and I go, I love it, it's awesome.

She goes, So I've got three bullet points.

And I go, shouldn't you name them one, two, and three?

She goes, No, I have bullet points.

Like, well, there's gonna be people out there that it'll help, and you know, is this number two or is this number three?

And so what are we doing right now?

We're doing number one.

We are in agreement.

We are doing point number one right here.

You are witnessing it right here.

All right, number one.

The schedule dilemma.

Yes.

Studies have found the number one reason most couples cite for not praying together is conflicting schedules and the inability to find the time to do it.

Can anybody relate?

Can anyone relate in the house?

Wow, you all are just so holy and so much further down the Jesus road than I am.

But listen, we've all got different sleeping, waking, working, exercise, friendships, volunteer schedules.

You add kids into that.

Look out.

God have mercy, right?

God have mercy.

The psalmist said in Psalm 90, verse 12 teach us to number our days that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.

Psalms 90:12

That is all about ordering and prioritizing what really matters in life.

What really matters in life.

And the reality is every one of us make the time to do what we value.

We all make the time to do what we want to do, what matters to us, what we feel is important.

So for us, when it comes to praying together, we have learned to take advantage of any time we have together.

Yeah.

Moni and I will schedule.

So this was an important time to be with you guys.

So we would actually put it on our calendar.

Let's pray, you know, next tomorrow, the next day, whenever, and we do schedule prayer times together.

But I think our secret sauce has been the creativity of what we call prayer on the goat.

And so if we're riding in the car and a thought comes to us and we're talking about somebody that's going through something, let's say, for example, we'll pray right then.

Right then in the car.

Or if we we walk together, if we're walking, we'll pray.

Um if we get a text of something going on, we pray right then.

And a best example I can give you of that is we go back to the East Coast and we take young adults back there to reintroduce them or introduce them to our American Christian history.

And it's a 10-day trip.

And we had a couple years ago, we had a pastoral couple with us.

And so they rode in the car with us.

We flew there, but then you're in a car for 10 days together.

And about six months after being together, they called us and said, You guys, we saw something that you do.

When you're talking about something, you'll stop and pray at a drop of a hat and just pray over whatever's going on.

Or if you get a text or something, they go, We've started doing that and it's changed our marriage.

We just we pray on the go like you guys did, and it said, it has so changed our marriage that we've taught it to our adult kids that are married, and now they're doing it, and it's changing their marriage too.

So just being creative.

It doesn't have to be regimented all the time.

It's just so much fun to build it in as a rhythm of our lives is praying together.

And you know, one of the best things among many things that you can do for your children, they need to see you pray.

Yeah.

Pray together, be in agreement over their needs, over what's going on in their precious lives when you're in the car praying.

I'll tell you what, those little kids, they will latch on to that and it will become a part of their life.

It'll set them up for a really blessed marriage.

We want our children blessed in their marriages, right?

Any parents in the crowd?

All right.

Should I pause you for a second?

Most certainly.

Unrehearsed.

Um I just feel like the Lord has spoken.

No, I just feel like I was thinking about with our kids we're little, I'd love to go in my office and close the door and worship by myself so nobody's bugging me.

And one day the Lord said, I want you to leave the door open.

I want your kids coming in and seeing you on your knees worshiping.

I want your kids to stand around or sit by you or lay by you when you're communing with me.

And it was so precious.

And our kids are all worshipers, and I know it's some of the things like that that brought that into their lives back again.

Thank you, dear.

All right.

All right.

Once you figure out the schedule dilemma, there is another thing that keeps us from praying, and that brings us to point number two.

The intimidation factor.

Oh, yeah.

Schedule is a big deal, but underlying that is the feeling that your spirituality will be measured by the length or depth of how you pray.

Some spouses tend to be more verbose in their prayers.

That's a very kind way of saying long-winded.

And some are in and out with a shout.

Some feel more comfortable internalizing their thoughts, praying silently, maybe nodding their head, or the occasional amen.

Look, I get it.

Praying out loud can make anyone feel vulnerable.

And praying out loud with your spouse actually means you have to humble yourself.

You have to slow down and be real.

I see some couples just looking at each other, going, yeah.

It's like, yeah.

And you may be here or online thinking, I never pray out loud with anybody, let alone my wife or my husband.

Or I tried that once and it really did not go well.

So I'm never doing that again.

If that's where you're at, I encourage you, give it a go again.

Just do it.

Don't spend too much time talking yourself out of it.

Just do it, and God will meet you.

All right, another hindrance to praying together.

This is number three for those of you who are putting numbers down.

It is the unseen battle.

It is a big one.

And this is a big one.

Ephesians 6 12 says, for we are not fighting against flesh and blood enemies.

Your spouse is not your enemy.

I think I should say that again.

Your spouse is not your enemy, regardless of what it might feel like at times.

We are on the same team.

We are one.

We are to be united.

We need to learn to fight for each other, not against each other.

Amen.

We are not fighting against flesh and blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

Look, those evil spirits, they are on mission from hell to separate you from the love of God and to separate you from each other.

And by the way, love believes the best.

So if you are sitting here and you have not believed the best, it would be a great time to say, God forgive me.

Yeah, come on.

As those who have received grace, we should be overwilling to extend grace.

It doesn't mean you don't deal with stuff.

It doesn't mean, right?

It doesn't mean you don't have courageous conversations.

But there is a real adversary on mission to separate you from each other.

1 Peter 5 actually says that our adversary is a roaring lion.

He's going about seeking whom he may devour.

He is out to devour your marriage.

When you got up this morning, when you went to bed last night, he was circling around you to see if he could devour your marriage.

That verse goes on to say, resist him.

Fight against him actively.

Oppose what he is trying to do.

Praying together is one way you do that.

Yeah, so good.

The enemy doesn't want us to pray together.

If we don't pray together, more than likely he wins.

And why would he not want us?

Why is there such a battle?

Think about your relationship with you and husband and wife, or just you and your prayer life if you're single, is the Bible says in Deuteronomy 32, one will put a thousand to flight, two will put ten thousand to flight.

We are more, we are ten times more powerful when we pray together.

And that's not a bad idea that if you're single, get a prayer warrior with you that can pray with you, that can pray for God's will in your life.

But can you imagine that's why he doesn't want you praying together?

You you think this is maybe just her personality, his personality, their issues.

Hell no.

Hell wants to stop you from praying.

Well, there you go.

Hell wants to stop you from praying.

You heard it here.

And you thought I was the only one that said hell when I preach.

He does too.

Can I say that?

Is that okay?

Is that okay?

I'll think about taking it out in third service.

But I get goofier in third service, so may not.

It says in James 4, verse 6, God opposes the proud.

James 4:6

And I looked that word up opposes once, and it's like there were two battle, two armies lined up, and it's like I'm on one side and I look across to the other side, and Jesus is on the other side.

He opposes if I'm proud.

And I just threw this number out.

It's not a scientific study, but from my experience, I would guess 80% of why couples don't pray together is either pride or insecurity.

Pride or insecurity.

That's my guess.

And so, in other words, we need to just say, God, I'm gonna humble myself.

Husbands shock your wife when you get in the car after church and say, Let's pray right now.

If she's driving, she may faint.

You better be careful.

Let me read a Moni has this incredible thing that I call God kisses in her life.

That when she goes and preaches somewhere, she gets prophetic words online from international, whatever, and she'll get three or four.

It's ridiculous, it's not fair.

But she'll get all these prophetic words confirming what she's supposed to speak.

Well, because I'm preaching with her, we got one last night.

I got it.

And I just want to read it to you.

It says, you and your spouse are constantly at war with Satan because he wants to see you give up.

He wants you to fight each other rather than fight for each other in the covenant.

The devil wants you both to fall for arguments, resentment, and grow cold and silent towards each other.

Beware of Satan's cunning schemes, put on the whole armor of God, stand against the enemy and fight together with God.

Now, and then, so it's quoting in Ephesians, put on the whole armor of God.

In Ephesians, after it says, put on the whole armor of God, so you're dressed, you're ready, listen what it says then in verse 18, and pray.

And then it says, and pray in the spirit, and pray with all kinds of prayer and keep on praying.

That's a lot of prayer.

That is a whole lot of prayer going on there.

Praying on any level, but especially with each other, is really difficult at times because the enemy of our souls does not want us praying together.

There's power in agreement, like Craig said.

Psalm 133 says that God commands his blessing when we walk together in unity.

God comm I want the commanded blessing of God in my marriage.

Does anyone else?

Y'all better raise your hands, or I'm taking your blessing.

I'm like, so taking it right now.

Thank you.

I see both hands raised by some people.

It's like bring it on Jesus.

Anything that strengthens your bond with your spouse and causes you to come together in unity is dangerous to Satan.

Yep, come on.

That is why he will do whatever it takes to prevent it.

Distractions, misunderstandings, frustrations, interruptions, being exhausted, you fill in the blanks.

So we are talking about prayer here today because we believe it is key to a strong, healthy marriage.

Yeah, listen to this.

This is a quote from Psychology Today, your good Christian friends at Psychology Today.

And listen what they listen to what they say.

Even they know this.

In relationships, praying with and for each other enhances relational satisfaction, increases relational commitment, and reduces the likelihood of infidelity.

Wow.

Boom.

That's great.

That's great.

It's so good.

You know, one thing about praying together, just on a personal note for me, it connects me heart to heart with my husband.

There is a scripture that says the heart of her husband safely trusts in her as a wife, as a woman.

And I know that when we pray together and we are on the same page, there is something almost, it's like supernatural that happens and keeps us walking forward together in God's purpose over our lives.

So that was free.

So here's a few practical things.

Are these three bullet points?

These are three bullet points.

These are whatever you want them to be.

Whatever you want them to be.

He will keep me on the numbers really straight.

So these are a few practical things to help build and strengthen our prayer life together.

Come on.

Number one, or bullet point, whatever you're doing.

Develop your own prayer life.

That would seem like a no-brainer, but that is vital to this.

And the best way I know of to do that is to read your Bible and pray the scriptures.

If you don't know what to pray, how to pray, actually, my favorite prayer is help me Jesus.

It's great.

It's like, help me, Jesus.

Help me, Jesus.

Actually, my real favorite prayer is just Jesus at the top of my lungs.

And obviously it works, right?

So, yeah.

Find what speaks to your circumstance and pray it from the Word of God.

Number two, set a time together.

Number two?

Number point.

Yes, all of the above.

You are more likely to pray together if you do, right, honey?

Numbers.

Right.

Numbers, yes.

I encourage you, start.

See, he's already goofy and we are in only the second service.

Y'all need to pray for some of the things.

No, don't, don't.

It's gonna be crazy.

We may never be invited back.

Anyway, all right.

I encourage you, start once a week.

Set yourself up to win, not fail as a couple, all right?

Don't say, okay, um, tomorrow we're gonna get up at 5 a.m.

and we are gonna pray for an hour and a half before you go to work and before the kids get up and all the things.

You're I'm set, you're setting yourself up to fail.

Set yourself up to win, all right?

Set a time, set a time, set a time.

All right, and I'm gonna give you three S's right now.

Number one, keep it short when you pray, be respectful of each other's time.

Put parameters around how long your prayer time will be.

I suggest starting with 30 seconds if this is new to you.

You would be amazed at how much you can pray in 30 seconds when you come together in agreement.

And you're setting yourself up to win.

And we all like to win, right?

Who doesn't like to win?

I like to win.

All right.

Number two, keep it simple.

Keep it simple.

Stick to the most basic or pressing needs on your heart, specific to your lives.

It's not a time to pray for all the needs of the world, although that's great.

Just do it in another time.

All right, this is about the two of you.

Keep it safe.

Praying together is not the time for judgment, not the time to correct your spouse for how they are praying, or saying, well, you didn't quote that scripture, right?

Don't do those kinds of things, okay?

You let me be me, you be you, and God will God will meet us in that place.

So here's another question as we're coming to a close in a minute.

What if we invited prayer into every part of our marriages?

Into the worst parts and into the best parts.

I love how the disciples, when they walked with Jesus and they observed how he did life, the thing that they asked him was, Would you teach us how to pray?

Teach us how to pray.

They didn't say teach us how to preach, teach us how to heal, although he modeled all of those things and they learned from him.

They said, Lord, teach us how to pray.

Luke 11 says, So he said to them, When you pray, say, Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.

It gets our eyes onto the one who holds all power.

It gets our eyes off of our ability and onto God.

Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

God, your kingdom come, your will be done in my life, in Craig's life, in our family, in our finances, in our jobs, in all that you've entrusted to us, in our health, on earth as it is in heaven.

On earth, as it is in heaven.

Sometimes, especially for the husbands, we're, I don't know what to pray.

I don't know what do I pray.

Like Moni said earlier, get in the Bible and find some promises.

If you need breakthrough in your finances, if you need breakthrough in relationships, if your kids are testing you more than normal, whatever it is, get in the Bible and find some promises.

And there's a there's a Greek word, homologo, and it means say what he says, say what God says.

Those are the best, most powerful prayers we could pray is bringing God's word to him and praying those into existence.

And then one more for my single friends.

If you're single, raise your hand.

Cool.

Alright.

So, if you're wanting to get married someday, something you want to look for, you want to be attracted to the person.

I'll give you that.

Okay, this is important, you know.

This is good.

But what if we looked for someone that had a good prayer life?

You want to you want a good marriage?

I mean, we're telling you today one of the most important ways to have a good marriage, a fruitful marriage, a blessed marriage.

Pray together.

So when I'm looking and wondering, I wonder if this might be my spouse, I should be listening and am I hearing any prayer come out of them?

Or am I gonna have to teach them to pray?

And if I gotta teach them to pray before I say I do, they probably won't learn after I say I do without divine intervention from God.

So that's just a wow, that was free.

That was great.

That was free.

That's good.

You also want someone, Pastor Andrew, but that was free for you.

You also want someone that has a job.

I'm just saying, all right, people, you want someone that has a job.

Her too from the mama.

Her two.

Yeah, both of you.

Whatever.

Okay, it all works.

Come on.

We don't want a marriage that just looks good on the outside, right?

We don't want an Instagram marriage that looks wonderful on the outside, and you know what's going on behind the scenes, right?

We want a marriage where God's presence dwells, where it's felt, where his peace is felt, where his peace dwells, where his love is reflected in and through us.

For 45 years, we have chosen again and again and again to keep Jesus at the center of us.

To keep Jesus at the center of us.

And one of the ways we do that is by praying together.

Amen.

Let's pray.

Father, I lift up every marriage represented in this room.

Where there is distance, where there is broken trust, bring restoration, Father.

Where there is confusion, give direction.

Where there is unity, we ask you to strengthen it, God.

Where there is health, cause them to flourish even more.

We ask you to be that third cord in marriages, God.

Bind hearts together with your love and help us to remain faithful to the covenant we have made in Jesus' name.

In Jesus' name.

Let's all stand together.

We're gonna do some interactive as we close out today.

So if your spouse is here with you, take the hand of your spouse.

This is so good.

When's the last time you held hands with your spouse?

In church, yeah.

That's what I'm talking about.

All right, so on it's so good, right?

Holding hands is so good.

On three, we are all gonna pray this prayer out loud together.

One, two, three.

God, we need your help.

We ask you to bless our prayer life.

We're asking for your kingdom to come, your will to be done in our marriage on earth as it is in heaven.

Amen.

God bless you, church.

If our ministry has been a blessing to you at all, whether through the podcast, online, or through socials, would you consider partnering with us financially to help us continue blessing people and reaching people with the gospel of Jesus?

If you would like to do so, you can go online to roastchurch.org slash again.

Thank you so much for partnering with us and helping us continue to do what God has put in our hearts here.