Up Again The Wall | Pastor Kami Palmer | Faith Church

Now, this morning, we have already had a time

of prayer concerning when we are up against the

wall, right? And a good number of you raised

your hands. And when we're up against the wall,

we do continually believe and are praying for

the wall to come down. There is something in

the wall experience that I believe we need. This

morning, the text, we're going to read it in

its fullness, is in Philippians 4, and we're

going to start in verse 11. This is Paul, the

Apostle Paul, right? Great man of God. Not that

I speak in regard to need. offering that had

been given from the church in Philippi, and they

had not been able to give to him or had the opportunity

to give the way they had wanted to. And so he's

addressing them in this, and he said, not that

I speak in regard to need, for I have learned

in whatever state I am to be content. I know

how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere

and in all things, I have learned both to be

full and to be hungry. Truthfully, I think we

mostly know how to be full, right? As soon as

we enter into a fast, we quickly discover that

we don't know how to be hungry very well. Because

suddenly the Holy Spirit is saying, okay, your

fast is over. When really your flesh is saying,

feed me. I don't like to be hungry. I don't like

to be abased. I don't like to be without. But

Paul said, I've learned both to be full and to

be hungry, both to abound. Oh, we do well in

the abounding. But have we learned to do well

when we suffer need? And then it's in this verse

right here that he says, I can do all things

through Christ. who strengthens me. And this

morning, what I want is to come along Paul. And

I love the wordage that he uses here. He says,

what? I just know how to be in lack. I know how

to do it really well. No, he didn't say that,

did he? What did he say? I have learned. I have

learned to be full. and I have learned to be

in need. And the truth is that we do like it

better when we're full and when we're abounding

and the blessings are flowing. But even in that,

we have to learn. We have to learn to abound

so as not to be proud, to not be secure in our

own self -sufficiency. or for using that abundance

for selfish purposes, right? We have to learn

how to abound well. Today, what I want us to

really see, though, is that in the times of abasement,

the times when we are brought low, when we are

restricted, the times of suffering and need,

there is a temptation that can come in that place.

In that place of suffering need is our temptation

to lose comfort in God. It's temptation to distrust

his provision. Well, I've been tithing for years.

And when it doesn't feel like we're abounding,

right? Many of us have been there. We begin to

distrust, is God really providing? It is in those

moments that we are tempted to make the blessing

happen on our own. Abraham and Sarah knew something

about that, didn't they? Thus was born Ishmael.

These are temptations that we have to learn to

navigate when we are up against the wall. And

so this morning, We're going to be taking a little

journey through the life of David. About a month

ago, I had a brief dream, and I have discovered

in my life that there have only been a few times

when I have had dreams that I know are from God.

One was in our previous church. And I had had

a very vivid dream about gossip. I get chills

even now. And in the church, it was very demonic,

like just vomiting. And that was a very vivid

dream that I had. I had a dream concerning my

son. I had a dream one morning. It wasn't really

a dream. It was more the Holy Spirit. in those

waking before you're awake, a command to pray

for the spreading of the Holy Spirit through

the region. And about a month ago, I had a dream.

It wasn't a dream, really. It was more like the

voice of God speaking in my sleep. And I think

sometimes he does that because every time I've

had those moments, I've had need to stand in

faith, believing. And it's like he knows that

in that state of being, it's like my spirit just

is open. And it was very simple and very quick.

And all I heard was, I have restrained you so

I can expand you. That was it. And I just kept

on sleeping. But I woke up having heard that.

And ever since I heard that, it's been just resonating

within my spirit. I have restrained you so I

can expand you. And the question that came out

of that was this. Do I trust the restraint of

the Lord? over abundance in my life? Is knowing

that God is in the restraint of my life, do I

trust being in that place with him? Or is it

only when I feel his abundance that I trust him?

And from that question, I've been saying, God,

teach me like Paul. Teach me how to be in the

restraint. Teach me how to be in the place of

suffering need. Teach me how to be in the place

of being brought low. Of feeling like every time

I turn around, I hit that wall. And I think that

Paul understood that. I think that Paul often,

every time he turned around, it was like he was

getting slapped in the face. He endured such

hardship that every time he turned around, that's

what he was being faced with. And he says, I've

learned how to be in this place. And so this

morning, I want us to walk through quickly. Five

seasons that were critical in the life of King

David. Often when we think about restraint and

how to live well in the places of restraint,

we do think about the life of Joseph. But I have

this strong pull toward King David. Because I

feel like he's just so real, right? He just,

he made so many mistakes. He endured so much

up and down that I feel like he could just relate

with stuff in our life. And so we're going to

quickly, it's 1117 already, so we're going to

quickly move through. I would encourage you,

though, this is, we're going to be in 1 and 2

Samuel today. I would encourage you at your leisure,

in your private study, to just slowly walk through

the life of David. and see his interaction with

God. The first season that we're going to look

at is his season of Bethlehem. This is his childhood.

Now, how many of you know your childhood often

can make and break your life if it's not dealt

with as an adult? And David didn't have it always

the easiest growing up. when it came time for

the kingdom to be removed from King Saul, and

Samuel was sent to anoint another king, and so

he goes to the house of Judah, he goes to the

house of Jesse, and he invites them to sacrifice

to the Lord with him and his sons. Do you think

that Any of them, not the father, none of the

brothers, thought to call David in from being

out in the field watching the sheep. No, not

one of them said, hey, do you think we should

invite David? It did not occur to any of them

to invite David to sacrifice with the great prophet

Samuel. And so all of the sons passed before

Samuel. And God says, no, no, no, no. Get to

the end of the line of the sons. Nope. And Samuel's

like, what's up? There's got to be another son.

Don't you have another son? Oh, well, yeah, he's

just David out on the field. Call him in. I want

David to walk in front of me. And so Samuel said

to Jesse, send him, bring him, for we will not

sit down till he comes here. This is in 1 Samuel

16. I'm summarizing for you. So he sent and brought

him in. He was ready with bright eyes and good

looking, and the Lord said, Arise, anoint him,

for this is the one. Then Samuel took the horn

of oil and anointed him in the midst of his brothers.

Oh yes, this is going to cause such brotherly

love. I'm sure the brothers were just Yeah, one

of us gets to be king. The Spirit of the Lord

came upon David from that day forward. This season

of David's life had been a season of dirt, hardworking,

smelly sheep. It had been a season of learning

how to fight. the animals, becoming a warrior.

It was learning how to worship when he's alone

in this field and everybody has overlooked him.

This was a season that formed David for his future.

I think that in the next chapter here, we have

an additional look at... the brotherly affection

that was happening. If you go over to chapter

17, we have the account with David and Goliath.

And so David is taking some food to his brothers.

And I think it's interesting to see here his

interaction in verse 28 with Eliab, his oldest

brother. He heard David and his anger, because

David's like, what's going on here? Why are you

Why aren't you out fighting? And he gets so angry

with David. And he said, why did you come down

here? Who did you leave the sheep with in the

wilderness? He said, I know your pride and the

insolence of your heart, for you have come down

to see the battle. Man, Eliab did not have strong

feelings. Well, he had strong feelings toward

his brother. We're not seeing overly amounts

of love, though, are we? And I love David's response

because I feel like it's the response of many,

especially the baby. I don't know. I think Faith

left. She's the baby of the family, so maybe

she can identify. But David's response to his

brother is, what have I done now? Obviously,

this was a common occurrence of interaction for

David and his brother. What have I done now,

Eliab? I just brought you food. What have I done

now? So we can see that in his childhood years,

it was not this wonderful, blissful, I'm just

lying in the grass, strumming my harp, worshiping

the Lord with pretty little sheep around me.

No, it was hard, nasty work. And he was overlooked

by his family. And yet it was in that place he

learned to fight and he learned to worship. He

learned to fight. It's in this season of abasement

that David embraced. He could so easily have

become embittered. He so easily could have been

resentful. And what we find is that he learned

to fight and he learned to worship. What are

we doing in our season of abasement? What are

we doing in our season of lack? Are we just becoming

disgruntled because we've been overlooked? Because

we've been passed over time and time again? Are

we learning to worship? At the end of chapter

16, see, he had been, and we're going to go into

our next season, but we find him already in the

courts of King Saul, and he's going back and

forth between home and with King Saul. And even

in this space, the brothers had no respect. He

was still the annoying little brother. Running

errands for his father. Listen, it might feel

degrading. It might feel because you've been

overlooked and you're in the season of just hard

work that nobody sees. You're busy running errands

for your father or whoever. Listen, it was when

he was running errands for his father. That he

encountered Goliath. If we will learn how to

be in the season of need and lack and do it well.

This is why I feel that this is so important.

Because I know so many of you carry God -given

purposes. And we have yet to see the fulfillment

of all of it. Listen, if we will get these places,

these spaces right. then we are setting ourselves

up for the God moment. And it was in the basic

running of errands to serve his brothers who

overlooked him and found him annoying that God

gave him his Goliath moment that sent him off

into his future. How well will we do our season?

Like Paul, I felt especially this, overlooking

when I was writing this, that some of you here,

I don't know, it may be in your job, your family,

whatever, you've felt overlooked. Can I say to

you, it does not matter if a man sees you, if

God sees you. That's all that you need to know.

God sees you. God, in that moment, nobody else

can hear your worship. Nobody else can see you

faithfully caring for the sheep. But God sees

you. God does not overlook you. Man can overlook

you on every side. But when it comes time, God

has seen you, and he's the only one that matters.

He sees you. He has not overlooked you. His second

season that was transformational was Gibeah.

And Gibeah was the city in which King Saul had

set up as his royal city. And so King Saul, if

you'll remember, now the kingdom had already

been taken from him. And so what happened was

the spirit of the Lord had been removed from

King Saul, and now he was experiencing tormenting

spirits. And so Saul, being tormented, said to

his servants, provide me now a man who can play

well and bring him to me. Oh, oh, here's a skill

needed by the king in which David had learned

when he was being overlooked. And one of the

servants answered and said, Wow! One moment he's

being overlooked and the next he's being lifted

up to King Saul. How would you like that to be

said about you in the king's presence? And so

David is sent for. And whenever King Saul was

tormented by these spirits, he would call for

David and David would begin to play. And when

David began to play, King Saul would be at peace.

And so it's in this season, he's going back and

forth between being in King Saul's residence

and his father's residence. And so what is happening?

He's beginning to see promotion. He's beginning

to find, I have known abasement, but now I'm

beginning to find provision. Now I'm beginning

to be well fed. And it's from this place that

he faces Goliath. And after he kills Goliath,

He begins to be sent out by King Saul. And he

begins to develop a reputation. And in fact,

here's the testing in his time of beginning to

be promoted. Proverbs actually says it in chapter

27, verse 21. The crucible for silver and the

furnace for gold. But people are tested by their

praise. You will find when people begin to praise

you, it becomes a testing time. And think of

that when David in 17 .5 says this, David went

out wherever Saul sent him and behaved wisely.

And Saul set him over the men of war, and he

was accepted in the sight of all the people.

Can you imagine this young man having been overlooked

by his family to suddenly being accepted by men

everywhere? And not just men. Now, as it happened,

they were coming home from battle. And when David

was returning from the slaughter of the Philistine,

the women had all come out of the cities of Israel

singing and dancing. Can you imagine a young

guy who has been overlooked by everybody suddenly

coming into town and having it lined with singing

and dancing of women? You can't tell me there

was not testing. They've got their tambourines

and their instruments. This is the language of

David. David is a singer. David is a dancer.

They are speaking his language. And as they sang

and as they danced, they said, Oh, this had to

just get Saul's goat. Saul has slain his thousands.

David his... Tens of thousands. No king wants

to hear that being sung throughout the land.

But it's in this moment that the shifting takes

place for David. He marries Michael and jealousy

occurs and King Saul begins to turn from him.

And it says that Saul saw and he knew that the

Lord was with David. And Saul was more afraid

of David, so Saul became David's enemy continually.

It says that David acted more wisely than all

the servants of Saul, and his name became highly

esteemed. He began to come into promotion. He

began... Far, far away did the fields of abasement

and overlooking feel. Now he is being elevated.

Now he's being sung praises. But now the king

is against him. And suddenly all of that praise,

all of that glory is gone. He had a taste of

it for a moment. And it's gone. And suddenly

he finds himself in his third season in the cave

of Abolem, the cave of difficulty, about 16 miles

outside of Jerusalem, the cave of Abolem. And

this began seven years of running from King Saul.

Can you imagine? He lives overlooked, and suddenly

he's being anointed king. And then he's thrust

into promotion, and suddenly it's all taken away

from him, and he is now running for his life

from King Saul. And all of the people that surrounded

him was everybody in distress, everybody in debt,

and everyone who was discontented. Way to build

a kingdom. 400 of them. I'm just imagining 400

of the lowest of the low, disgruntled in debt,

discontented, now surrounding. These are his

companions. And for seven years, he runs from

King Saul. And we find him in chapter 27, where

he said in his heart in verse 1, Now I shall

perish someday by the hand of Saul. There is

nothing better for me than I should speedily

escape to the land of the Philistines. And Saul

will despair of me. to seek me anymore in any

part of Israel, and I will escape his hand. In

this moment, the anointing he received to be

king from Samuel was like a distant dream. Suddenly

his future, what it looks like, is not being

king. It is being killed by King Saul. He has

mentally here given up. The anointing of being

king. And all he sees in front of him is perishing.

Has anybody ever been there? You've had the dream.

You've had the anointing. You've had a prophetic

word. And years down the road, you've yet to

see the fulfillment of it. And you find yourself

like King David. Well, I guess I'll just try

to live this life the best I can live and die

and go be with Jesus. Listen, that is not what

he has for you. It's not what he planned for

King David. It's not what he's planned for you.

Following this season of running for seven years,

in that season, I'm just going to quickly remind

us of two things in this season. We have the

scenario of Ziklag. Do you remember Ziklag? When

David and his men had been out fighting and they

came home to discover their wives had been taken

captive, their sons and their daughters had been

taken captive, and everything had been set fire.

It feels a little bit like Job, doesn't it? He's

already running, and now everything, the little

bit he has, has been taken. How does David respond

in this season? How would we respond? Lord, I've

given you everything. I've said yes to you. And

now you've taken my sons and my daughters. Now

you've taken my wives. Now you've burned all

my belongings. Is this what I get? Is that what

David said? No. It says this, but David strengthened

himself in the Lord. David strengthened himself

in the Lord. He didn't go on Facebook complaining

so that everybody could comfort him in the comments.

He didn't go complaining to everybody that they

knew would receive the complaining. No, he went

straight to the Lord. And he strengthened himself

in his God. It wasn't even that he had been taken.

All of these things had been taken. And what

he was facing was an extreme isolation because

his own men had turned against him and were talking

of stoning him because of what had happened.

Again, his family that is around him. is ready

to stone him. And how well does he handle his

abasement? How well does he handle it? He strengthens

himself in the Lord. I get challenged every time

I read that account. It's a good account to read

when everything feels like it's going bad in

your life. Just pull out the story of Ziklag.

And then read how David strengthened himself

in the Lord. And it gives you a little perspective,

doesn't it? Following this account, we read that

Saul has died. The king has died. And this brings

us into his next season of life. In Hebron, the

beginning of his prophetic purpose. And this

is interesting because if you heard the news

that the king who had been chasing you to kill

you had died, what would your immediate response

be? Oh, this is it. It's time for me to be king

of Israel. I was anointed for it. Saul is gone.

it's time for me to be the king. This is my moment.

You know, this isn't how David responded. In

2 Samuel chapter 2, in chapter 1, we read of

2 Samuel 2 · chapter mention

the death of Saul. In chapter 2, it says, it

happened after this that David inquired of the

Lord, saying, shall I go up to any of the cities

of Judah? to his clan, to his tribe. And the

Lord said to him, go up. And he then followed

with, well, where shall I go up? And God said

to him, to Hebron. I love his heart. He's now

entering again. He's leaving the abasement. And

now he's about to come again into the place of

abundance. Such an up and down life he had. And

he's about to enter into promotion once again.

But his immediate response, I love, God, what

now? God, what should I do? He's not just going

and demanding, hey, everybody, Samuel anointed

me to be king. I'm up. It's my turn. Tag, I'm

it. He didn't do that. No, he said, God, where

should I go? What should I do? And it's in this

place. This is his tribe. And it says that Judah,

the men of Judah came to David after he had gone

back. They came to David and they anointed him.

They anointed him to be the king over the house

of Judah. So what we find in this season is the

partial promotion. He is not king over all of

Israel in this moment. He is only king of the

house of Judah. And in this place, He could begin

to say, God, it's my time. You anointed me over

all of Israel. I've only got Judah behind me.

I thought I was supposed to be king over all.

I feel like David's heart is in such a place

that if God had said to him, David, I want you

to go back to Bethlehem, I believe he would have

done it. I want you to go back to your homeland.

I believe he would have done it. His heart was

open. God, what should I do? Where should I go?

And so in this state of abundance, he's begun

to move toward the fulfillment of it. He stayed

in this place for seven and a half years in a

partial fulfillment of his purpose. Seven and

a half years. And here's my takeaway from his

initial promotion. Right after he returned to

Judah, there were men from Jebesh Gilead who

had buried King Saul with honor. And David hears

of this. And he sends a message to the men of

Gilead. And he says to them, of the man that

was trying to kill him, you are blessed of the

Lord, for you have shown this kindness to your

Lord, to Saul, and have buried him. This strikes

me because I just wonder what I might have done.

About the person that had been trying to kill

me. When I got into my place of promotion and

provision and abundance, and I look back to the

last seven years of running from King Saul, I

wonder what my attitude would have been toward

him. Look at the trauma you caused me, King Saul.

Look at everything I lost because of King Saul.

with an embittered spirit for those last seven

years, and you do not see that. He blesses and

honors the men that buried his enemy. There's

a lesson here. When we're in our places of blessing

and provision, how we view those that have wounded

us, those that have been out after us and against

us. God needs to be able to trust us with our

enemies. He concludes in 2 Samuel 3. as we're

coming into the end of his season in Hebron.

Now there was a long war between the house of

Saul and the house of David, because there was

another that had tried to rise up and take that

house of Israel. And so there was a long season

of conflict. It says, though, David grew stronger

and stronger, and the house of Saul grew weaker

and weaker. Listen, God will do it. God will

do it. God will make you stronger and stronger

and stronger. And your enemy weaker and weaker

and weaker. But how we handle the abundance.

And then he finally moves into his fifth season,

the glorious season. Zion, the promise fulfilled.

How many of you love that place? This is the

place. Yes, Lord, this is what you have destined

me for. And in 2 Samuel 5, finally, all the tribes

of Israel come to David. And David took the stronghold

of Zion. That is the city of David. And it says

in verse 10, so David went on and became great,

and the Lord God of hosts was with him. Now here's

an interesting verse. These are the things we

have to learn in the places of abundance. And

we only learn them, I think, if we learned the

season of lack well. It says David knew. He knew.

That the Lord had established him as king over

Israel. He knew it didn't come from his own manipulation

of trying to make the promises of God come true

for himself. God had established him as king.

And that he had exalted his kingdom for the sake

of David? No. For the sake of his people, Israel.

Israel. David knew this. And the times that David

struggled in his season of abundance, because

David didn't always handle his abundance well,

did he? He had seasons of pride. I think of the

census when he began to count his men and the

Lord had to bring consequences to him. He had

his seasons of self. absorbedness with Bathsheba

and her husband. He didn't always handle it well,

but what you find is that David was a repentant

man, and this is good news for us. Because we

don't always handle our lack well, and we don't

always handle our abundance well. But if we will

have a heart toward God, a heart of repentance,

if we will recognize that God's mercies are new

every morning, and I can come before him just

as David did, and I can repent, he is restoring

God. He will restore us. I think of when King

David, because even in his fulfillment of becoming

king of Israel, it doesn't mean that everything

went okay for him. And I think of when his own

son, Absalom, wanted the kingdom. And his own

son betrayed his father, David. His own son tried

to win the loyalty, the affection in the hearts

of Israel so they would make him king. And David,

because of his own son, had to run again in the

wilderness. I can't imagine. Again, he's lost

his home. He's lost his kingdom for these moments

as Absalom is taking the throne. And as he is

running, there is one from the house of Saul

that begins to curse him and curse him. And David's

man wants to go and kill him. And I love even

in this moment, if David once again in the place

of abasement, after being king of Israel, he

says, no, you don't know that God didn't send

him. You don't know that that is not from God.

Can you imagine? Continually a heart of saying,

God, have your way in my life. In the good, in

the bad, in the ugly, have your way in my life.

There was a saint back in 225. 225. This was

the early church. And St. Lawrence was born in

Spain. And St. Lawrence served as a deacon in

Rome during time of major persecution. And one

of the most notable stories of St. Lawrence is

that of his martyrdom. It's interesting. Sometimes

we get turned away because we hear the word saint

and we think of, you know, Orthodox or Catholic.

But a lot of these men and women were amazing

men and women of God. And he is martyred for

his faith. The emperor at the time had it out

for all Christians. But he specifically had his

sights. on St. Lawrence. He gave Lawrence the

opportunity to save himself, asking Lawrence

to show him where all the church's gold and silver

were. He wanted in in the money bags of the church.

And so when asked for the gold and the silver

of the church, Lawrence returned three days later.

And he had with him the poor, the sick, the handicapped.

And he presented to the emperor, here, this is

the wealth of the church. They had a different

view of lack. Of a basement? Enraged, he put

Lawrence, he had him burned in public on a griddle.

And I love, this is the beauty of martyrs. There's

a grace that comes on those, I believe, being

martyred. And they are always known in those

moments to have such joy. The martyrs of the

early church were known for their joy and their

singing as they were being led to their death.

And St. Lawrence was no different. He's in that

moment of execution. He's joking with the guards.

And he's saying, it's time to turn me over. I'm

done on this side. Can you imagine? Flip, it's

time to flip me over. I made pancakes this weekend.

What does he have? There is in, it's a spirit

that Paul had. It matters not whether I am in

the place of provision or poverty. I have learned

how to do both well. And I often think that the

breakthroughs we believe for aren't happening.

Because we have yet to learn some things well

in the places of restraint and restriction that

God wants us to get. I know you guys get so excited

and amening at my sermons. You're like, bring

Darren back. Let's believe for breakthrough.

Think about the life of Paul. How much he spent.

imprisoned, being beaten. He wrote 13 of the

27 books of the New Testament, four of those

he wrote while being imprisoned, a home imprisonment,

but still he was restrained and restricted. And

he wrote Philippians while being imprisoned.

So while he's in restraint, he's saying, hey,

I know what it is to abound and be well fed.

And I know what it is to be restricted and abased.

As he's imprisoned, he writes this. And he says,

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens

me. I can do all things, the abasement, the poverty,

the restriction. I can do all things. He wrote

Ephesians while being restricted. I love Ephesians.

Ephesians talks about how we are rich in Christ.

It talks about how he lavishes all grace on us.

And we read that and we think, oh, God's lavishing

all grace. I'm going to do all this great stuff.

Listen, he lavishes grace on us. so that in poverty

and in wealth, we can do all well because we

have grace. 2 Corinthians chapter 12, Paul wrote

2 Corinthians 12 · chapter mention

this. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming

conceited, isn't it good to know our own weaknesses?

I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger

of Satan to torment me. Three times, much like

Jesus, he pleaded that it would be taken. Let

this cut pass. But he said, my grace is sufficient

for you. For my power is made perfect in what?

In strength? In weakness. We have to learn to

do weakness well. Because it's there that his

power is made perfect in your life. But when

we have unforgiveness, when we have resistance,

when we are just frustrated and upset with God

because we're in this place of weakness, we're

cutting off the source of strength. Therefore,

he said, I'll boast in my weaknesses so that

Christ... power may rest on me. Therefore, for

Christ's sake, I delight in weakness, in insults,

in hardships, in persecutions, and in difficulties.

I'm wondering when we're getting together, are

we delighting in, hey man, everything went wrong

for me this week. Praise the Lord. That must

mean he's doing, that means I have access to

his power. That must mean God's up to something.

Praise the Lord. I've had trials this week. I've

had difficulties this week. I fear that that's

not how we're talking about our struggles. For

when I am weak, then I am strong. We cannot wait

for the places of abundance to begin to walk

out. what God has called us to do. He's looking

for us in the places of restraint and restriction

to begin to do it. You can't wait for a better

moment. You can't wait for a perfect opportunity.

It is the call of obedience. God, you've called

me to do this, so I'm going to do it in the lack.

I'm going to do it in the restraint and the restriction.

Paul carried out his purpose. He didn't say,

well, I'm imprisoned, everybody, so get in touch

with one of the other apostles, please. He didn't

wallow. He didn't complain. Was it hard? Yes.

Would he have preferred to have the cup passed

from him? For sure. In fact, he said, I persevered

in demonstrating among you. the marks of a true

apostle, including signs, wonders, and miracles,

even in the hardship. I'm going to ask the worship

team to come. I know that I preached a little

longer today, but I really believe with all of

my heart that God's given to each of you, God

-given purposes and promises, and the years have

gone by. I've yet to really see in the Bible

great men and women that have not gone through

seasons of abasement and trial before they were

brought into the fulfillment of God's purposes.

I've yet to really see them, even in the fulfillment

of it, to not see them in difficulty. And I want

us I want us to grab hold of Paul's attitude.

I have learned. God, I'm not handling my lack

well. I'm not handling my physical ailments well.

I'm not handling my financial situation well.

I'm not handling my loneliness well. Would you

teach me? I want to learn like Paul learned.

Would you teach me contentment in these places?

Would you teach me to be satisfied by your presence

in these places? I don't want to be a fair weather

follower. I want to follow you on the path of

Gethsemane if need be. I want to be where your

presence is at. And for some of us that may mean,

I've had to in my heart as I've asked this question,

Lord, do I trust your restraint on my life? It

doesn't feel safe. It doesn't feel secure. The

unknown is scary. Do I trust your restraint in

my life? I've had to ask myself hard questions.

I've had to repent of attitudes. in the restraint.

And for some of us today, that might be you saying,

I've not been doing it well. In fact, I've not

even been open to learning how to do it well.

In these final moments as we worship, I want

you just to find a space, whether it's at your

seat or at this altar, I don't care. But can

we begin to just say to the Lord, Lord, Forgive

me for being resentful and carrying unforgiveness,

for despising the places of lack, for being discontented

and embittered. Would you forgive me? I want

to make those spaces now sacred spaces of your

presence. Places where I encounter you. Your

presence is enough, Jesus. Your presence is enough,

Jesus. And so if you'll stand with me in a few

moments, we'll be finished. But I don't want

to leave without creating a space to respond

to the Lord. I'm walking out of here saying,

I'm going to do the difficult places differently.

them places where the power of Christ is displayed

I'm gonna make them the places where I encounter

the suffering of Christ the fellowship of the

suffering of Christ he wants to encounter with

you in those places he wants to encounter with

you And so as the team leads us, I want you to

be respectful. If you're having to leave, if

you could just slip out quietly, because we want

to make this place a place of response to the

Lord, a place of encounter to the Lord. Thank

you, Lord.