Family Trip - Parenting

You guys have some tremendous leaders here.

And we knew Force and Emily when they were going through college, we did their pre-marriage work.

I had the privilege of standing in front of them 15 years ago saying, Do you take this man?

Do you take this woman?

And little did they know when they committed each other the journey that they were going to be on.

And uh what a what an awesome story of just what God is doing here in Frankfurt.

And from a from a coffee, from a coffee shop to Liberty's living room to uh a uh a state treasurer's office to a movie theater to now look at this place.

And it's progress.

It's it's progress.

And I'm I'm celebrating with you today all all the the great things that are there are going on.

And so again, it's a joy to be with you all this morning and and uh to be a part of what's happening here.

And as as I said, we live in Den Denver, Colorado now.

And I'm not gonna lie to you, uh we've been here for 10 days, and I haven't breathed in 10 days with this humidity that's going on here.

So one of the things we're gonna do when we get back to Colorado tomorrow is take a big breath and be like, no humidity.

This is this is amazing.

It's only been two years, but I forgot.

It's really, really hot here this time of year.

But one of the downsides of Colorado is when you ask in a restaurant for sweet tea, you know, they go, Oh yeah, oh yeah, we have we have tea.

Oh, um, we we have tea and I'll bring some sweeteners for you.

Uh water is fine, please.

You know, it's a dead giveaway.

They don't understand Kentucky sweet tea when they say I'll bring some sweeteners for you.

It's like it's not it's not the same.

And so I have drank way too much sweet tea over the last 10 days that we've been here.

We love Kentucky.

Can we 23 years here in in Kentucky, two years in Denver, so we we love it here.

We're grateful for the state of Kentucky and grateful for you all.

So it's good to good to be home for for sure.

So we're talking about something really important today.

And um parenting.

And how many how many people are parents that are here today?

Okay, awesome.

Wow.

Um parents today?

Okay.

Not everybody raise their hands, which makes me kind of wonder what's uh we're gonna talk after the service here.

So, anyways, uh it we're talking parenting.

Uh Force basically told me, he said, I want you to talk about parenting, and I just want you to talk about how to have awesome kids for everybody someday in the future.

I'm like, oh, okay.

You know, so no big assignment today, just you know, basically, how do we make sure that we have awesome kids uh in the future?

So, wouldn't it be amazing if there was this book that said three easy steps to amazing kids?

Just three three steps, that's it.

I mean, I would buy that book, I, I, for sure.

But then, of course, then we would debate on like what does it actually mean to be amazing and how do you measure amazing, you know, all the all the stuff that we argue about.

But um, let me ask you this.

Do you remember the day at the hospital they they handed you the baby and it was time for you to leave?

And you're getting ready to step out of that hospital.

Don't don't say any phrases that popped into your head that may not be appropriate, but you're like, okay, literally, are we ready for this?

No training wheels, no manuals, nothing.

And all of a sudden, our lives are gonna change forever.

And basically, I mean, I think for most of us, when we talk about parenting, we, you know, we know how our parents raised us.

And so we're taking some of that that uh that with us.

But the greatest responsibility ever given, which is parenting, and the only thing you have to go on is how you were raised.

No license required.

Just here you go.

Michelle and I have said this often.

We're just like, it's unbelievable how many things you have to have a license for.

But you don't have to have a license to parent, which is like literally the most important thing.

You gotta have a you gotta have a license to get married.

You gotta have a license to go fishing, you have to have a license to drive, you have to have a license to hunt, you have to have a license to carry a weapon, selling real estate, practicing law, medicine, which I'm actually really glad about that license, actually, you know, but anyways, pharmacy, etc.

It goes on and on.

All the things you have to be licensed for.

They require a license, but no requirement for being a parent.

I think we would all agree it's a huge responsibility to be a parent.

And I think we would all agree parenting today is different than it was 20 years ago.

It's different than it was 30 years ago and 40 years ago.

It's not, it's we live in an interesting time to be a parent as you try to navigate things like technology.

As you try to navigate how amazing everybody's lives look on social media, and you're wondering, like, are we doing this right?

I mean, are are our kids gonna be as amazing as what we see on social media that everyone else's kids are looking like?

And I think we're all in the same boat when it when it comes to that.

Um, it always makes us wonder are our kids gonna have the same opportunities as some of our friends?

And it gets exhausting.

It gets exhausting wondering what's real and what's not real.

There were so many times Michelle and I, uh, with our two old, our two oldest kids, we would we would go through something and we're just like, I know they're gonna be processing this with a therapist someday in the future, you know.

I mean, it's just like that was our biggest fear.

And I'm like, and I ended up, I am a counselor.

And it's like, you know, but it but again, it's like that fear of like, oh my word, they're gonna be trying to process this for a long, a long time to go.

And again, we're all just doing the best that we know to do to do as parents.

So I want you to look at your neighbor right now, and I want you to say, I want you to look at them.

Now, if they're seven years old, it might be awkward, but look at them and say, thank you for doing your best every single day in investing in kids.

Go ahead and do that right now.

Parenting, parenting can be a very thankless job, and I'm guessing it's probably been a while for some of us for someone to actually say thanks for what you do.

It's it's it's just you just wake up and you do it, and you go to bed and you're still parenting, and you get up and do it again the next day, and there's not a lot of thanks and appreciation in it, but but again, it is such a uh such a God-given responsibility, and it's so important.

So, again, thank you to everybody.

So, today what we're gonna do is we're gonna talk about a few nuggets of truth.

We're gonna try to give you some things to walk away with today.

We're gonna share some things from Michelle and I.

We just celebrated 27 years of marriage.

Um we we did decide we're gonna shoot for 28 as well, too, and so we're gonna try to try to keep going, try to keep going.

And uh, and so we're very blessed with uh with a family that we're proud of.

But, anyways, we're gonna try to give you a few things that worked for us as well.

And so, anytime that we need wisdom as followers of Christ, it's always good to go.

Hey, what's the Bible say about this?

Does the Bible address the issue of parenting?

And the answer is yes, there's a lot in the Bible about parenting.

And so I'm gonna look at a couple of passages of scripture here that we're gonna read, and then I'm gonna get to the one that we're actually gonna focus on today.

But Proverbs 22, 6 says this it says, start children off in the way that they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it.

Ephesians 6, 4.

Fathers, do not exasperate your children.

Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Well, dads, none of us want to exasperate our children.

First, we need to know what does exasperate mean, which means irritate or frustrate intensely.

I'm like, is that referring to like when they're teenagers?

Because everything irritates them, you know, but um, do not exasperate your children.

Deuteronomy 6, 6 and 7, these commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.

Impress them on your children, talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road.

Proverbs 13, 24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.

Hebrews 12, 11.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.

But later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Psalm 127, 3 and 4, children are a heritage from the Lord, and offspring, a reward from him, like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one's youth.

In Colossians 3 21, fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

So these are just a few of the passages that talk about parenting in kids, and there are so many important things we have to do as parents.

We've got to make sure our kids are brushing their teeth every day.

We've got to make sure they're getting good rest.

We've got to make sure they're eating three meals a day, getting good grades, being a friend, having friends, getting them to ball practice, taking a bath every once in a while, getting them into the right college, pray that they find the right spouse, have the right job, all the things that as parents that we do day in and day out.

And the list goes on and on, and it's exhausting.

And most of the time, as parents, we aren't actually convinced that we're doing like an awesome job.

We're kind of surviving, I think if we're all honest.

I don't know if I'm talking to anybody else this morning, but uh, and it never seems like Sunday mornings always seem like the greatest battles, which is always like getting them out of bed, getting them fed, getting them to church, and and uh and again, we're all doing the best that we can.

But one of the things that I want to stress this morning, in the midst of all the responsibilities we have as parents, um, and and we could list 50 things, um, from a priority standpoint, not all 50 are of equal importance as parents.

And so there are some things that are more important than others.

So if you ask somebody like, hey, what's your priorities this week?

And they ask, and they tell you 15 priorities, that pretty much they have no priorities this week because everything's a priority.

So everything's important.

But the reality is that there are more, there are things that are more important than other things.

And what I want to tell you today, um, the most important thing that you're gonna do for your kids is you're gonna point them to Jesus.

There's a lot of things you're gonna have to do, and they they all matter.

Now, if there's any dentists out here, they're gonna be like, no, no, brushing your teeth is very actually important.

Or, you know, eating three meals a day, it's not as important.

And from what I'm sharing this morning, it's not as important as the most important thing, which is pointing them to Jesus.

Joshua 24, 15 is where we're gonna camp out today, okay?

The specific verse we're looking at, 24-15, but if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you're gonna serve.

But as for me and my household, we're serving the Lord.

This is Joshua 24, 15.

But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you're gonna serve.

But as for me and my household, we're gonna serve the Lord.

We all will serve someone or something, and it is time to make the decision.

Joshua is telling everyone today, today, today is the day to decide who you are going to serve.

I I love the book of Joshua.

I like to refer to it often.

Um, it's filled with like so many really cool things, and I think Joshua is like a really cool guy.

He was one of the 12 when Moses sent 12 spies into the promised land.

Joshua was one of them, Joshua and Caleb.

There were 12 of them that went in.

They saw the giants, they saw the walls, they saw all the obstacles, but they also saw all the opportunities.

They saw the fruit, they saw the land, they saw the everything is like milk and honey.

It's it's but 10 of them came back and said, It's it's too much.

The giants are too big, the walls are too big, and they're gonna crush us like ants.

Joshua and Caleb said, Are you kidding me?

We can do, we can do this.

God is with us, and he's gonna help us conquer the giants, conquer those walls, conquer those armies that are bigger than us.

We can take the land.

Unfortunately, Israel listened to the ten, and they said, We're not we're not doing it.

And God was not happy.

Sent them back into the desert for 40, 40 years until that entire generation died off because of their because of their disobedience.

Joshua got the opportunity when Moses didn't get to go into the promised land, he handed the baton to Joshua.

And Joshua, who was one of those original spies, now was rewarded because of his faith.

He was rewarded because of his faith and getting to lead the Israelites into the promised land.

Joshua got to experience the Jordan River parting.

He got to experience crossing on dry ground.

He got to see the walls of Jericho come crashing down, defeated armies bigger than themselves.

This is a man who walked with God, and God used his life for tremendous purposes.

So there's 24 chapters in the book of Joshua, and the last chapter is what needs to be our very first priority.

Choose this day whom you're gonna serve.

Last chapter, first priority.

Choose this day whom you're gonna serve.

As you go through the scriptures, you see how often Israel is back and forth in their commitments.

One day they want to serve God, and one day they want to go back to all the foreign gods and the idols.

They were to be a people that were to be set apart for God, Yahweh.

This was very different from other nations.

In the area, they had lots of gods, lots of idols to resemble their gods.

But Israel being set apart was a constant battle, and they lost focus frequently.

We're supposed to be set apart.

We're supposed to be like this special, peculiar people group who are committed to God.

But we we we experience the same thing.

I mean, the back and the forth, and some days we're we're different, some days it feels like we're just like everybody else.

And so, you know, again, I think a little bit of grace for Israel there, but but that that focus of being set apart.

Joshua at the end of his life said, You will decide whatever you want to do, follow God or follow idols.

It's your decision.

But the decision has already been made for me and my family.

So I want to look at that verse there and I want to point out three things.

Three things we're gonna see in this passage.

Joshua made his own decision many, many years ago to follow God and for the Lord to be first in his life.

So literally, before he made that statement, literally, you're talking like, you know, 50 to 80 years had already passed.

He was a committed man of God.

So follow God for himself first.

Second, then, was the my house is gonna be a place of worship as well.

And then third, not just any God, but Yahweh.

Yahweh.

And so let's look at those three.

So the first one, Joshua was sold out for God.

That's the very first point that I want you to look at.

Parenting does not start horizontally.

I'm convinced of that.

It does not start horizontally, it starts, it starts vertically.

First and foremost, before we're great parents, we've got to get our own priorities in alignment with the Lord.

I've heard many parents over the years say, I don't, I don't know what happened to my kid.

Literally, we had them in youth group.

I had them, I every week they went to youth group, or they went to church camp, or I put them in a Christian school so they could have good morals.

And now they've completely abandoned everything that they knew.

And this is the reality of this, is our responsibility is greater than that as parents.

It's not just, it's not just getting them to youth group so that the youth pastor can speak to them and give them truth.

It's not just getting them in a Christian school for good morals.

It's more, it's more than that.

We cannot farm out our responsibility to point our kids to Jesus.

It's it's it's my responsibility.

It's our responsibility as parents that church and God is not just a Sunday morning thing.

This is something in our lives.

It's 24-7 in every every area of our lives.

Don't ever don't ever forget more things are caught than they are taught.

Our kids are watching us.

Our kids are pretty good at detecting things that aren't real.

Have you all been seeing on on social media this Gen Z stare?

Have you guys heard about that?

It's it's a little bizarre.

I'm not gonna lie to you.

It's a little bizarre.

And it's basically it's basically students staring into the camera for like an awkward amount of time.

And I guess what it's rooted in, Olivia would probably know this better than me, but what it's rooted, what it's rooted in is this idea of authenticity.

That they're actually they're looking to determine, is this is this real?

Is this fake?

Because we are working with a generation that does not want performance.

They don't want something that just looks one way and is actually another way.

They want real, they want authentic.

Well, that is actually really good accountability for us as parents.

They will detect quickly if we act one way in one environment and act another way in another environment.

No one will call us out quicker than our kids will.

Okay?

I've experienced that.

You probably have as well, too.

I mean, they they can detect when something's not real.

I was sitting around a fire pit this past week in Colorado at our church.

We had a men's focus for the summer where I think I think there were there were, I don't know, a ton of fire pits in people's backyards that you could choose to go to.

And so there was one in June and one in July.

And I missed the one in June, but I went to the one in July.

We had 12 guys that were all sitting around this uh fire pit.

You know, cigar smoke is going up in the air and all that, and we're all just sitting there, enjoying the fire, enjoying our time together.

And one of the questions came up of let's talk about our dads.

Well, that's always interesting, that's always an interesting conversation, you know.

And let's talk about our dads and the influence.

What what impact did he have on your life?

And and uh there's not one single guy of the 12 that were sitting there around that fire pit, aging to range from 22 to like 50.

No one said, My dad, he just he didn't work hard, he was lazy, he didn't provide for us.

It was actually the exact opposite.

My dad, my dad actually was a very good provider, he worked very hard, but but he he didn't want anything to do with God.

And you know, he just was not really comfortable talking about things of spiritual nature or just his feelings, his emotions, and and so you got all these men, and some of them were very emotional as they were talking about their dad and what they needed, the kind of engagement they needed from their dad.

He was a provider, but they were looking for more, and now they're processing it in their 20s, 30s, and 40s and 50s.

I'm gonna share a stat with you.

Joshua modeled for us putting God first and taking responsibility for his home.

I'm gonna share a stat here, and men, this is for us, and and me included, it's it's a it's a sobering stat that really illustrates the influence that God has given us and the responsibility that God has given us in our homes.

But the stat that I read was when men make church and faith a priority in their own lives, 75% of kids will make faith and church a priority in their lives as well.

When moms make church a priority without their husbands, it's two to three percent of kids will make church a priority.

I mean, men, if that's not shocking, I mean, women are like literally the most amazing, incredible.

Like, where would this world be without all the women in the world?

But it's like as men, there is some, God does not let us off the hook.

As men, there's a responsibility and influence.

Our kids are watching us, and they respond.

When we respond to God, they respond to God as well.

It's a tremendous influence and responsibility that we have to lead our families.

So that's the first point.

Being a great parent starts vertically, putting God first in our own lives before anything else.

Number two, God will be the center.

Joshua said, God will be the center of our household.

When when household is said, don't think of that as like you and your spouse and your two kids and picket fence and 2,000 square foot home and and this isolated Western lifestyle that unfortunately is the reality.

When when in the Old Testament, when they talk about a household, you're talking about possibly up to three generations of people living together, 30, 40, 50 people living together.

It's more of like a tribe.

It's not a family, it's a tribe, basically.

And it's more of a compound.

It's not this uh house like most of us live in.

It's more of like a compound.

But but think of it like this.

Think about when you when you think about that many people together, you know, you're you're talking about think about in the Western world what we lose as far as stories are concerned.

Think about the wisdom that doesn't get passed on because we live such isolated individualistic uh lives that are often.

Time.

There, there's benefit.

There is benefit.

I want to share a story about Michelle and I here.

There's benefit in not parenting alone.

But so many times there's this isolation that happens, and it's like everything's on your shoulders and responsibility gets to be a lot.

Michelle and I benefited tremendously from other people being involved in our kids' lives.

So, like I said, when kids are teenagers, I mean, like we have a seven-year-old right now, and she thinks we're amazing, everything we do is amazing, it's awesome.

But I realize there's a day coming.

She's seven, there's a day coming that that attitude is gonna change.

And mom and dad don't know anything.

And this is so ridiculous.

And we're gonna get the eye rules, and we're gonna do, we're gonna get all that kind of stuff.

It's coming.

And it's hard to fathom because she's my sweet little girl, you know, but it's coming.

I've already experienced it.

It happens.

And one of the things that we benefited from was other people pouring into our kids.

Our we were um, Michelle worked for over 20 years at Southland at the Nicholasville campus, and that was our our home church.

And um, we had they were involved in student ministries.

Juliana had a a group leader by the name of Maddie, who was her group leader from fifth grade until she graduated high school.

That's a commitment.

There were many, many weeks when Juliana was the only one who showed up to group.

And Maddie did the lesson, sat with her, talked with her.

She's only a few years older than Juliana is, but it was a priceless relationship for somebody investing in our daughter.

Our son, his group leader, seventh grade, until he graduated high school.

Literally, we were just in Nashville last week, and Juliana's group leader, Juliana's 21 now.

She lives in Nashville.

She reached out to Juliana going, hey, I see you're in the area.

Let's go out and grab lunch together and let's just catch up.

They had, they, when Juliana went to the University of Cincinnati, we're going, oh my goodness, this is such a big school.

She got involved in a campus ministry.

And we were so thankful for the leaders there that were investing in her when she was away from us, pouring into her, teaching her about the Lord.

When our son went to college, he got invited to Bible studies, he got invited to share a fellowship of Christian athletes.

All these places, community leaders, coaches, all these people investing and reinforcing what you're already telling your kids.

I would encourage you, do not parent alone.

There's a lot of benefits with other people reinforcing what's being said.

And this is actually the model that we see in scripture here in Joshua.

It's not just you and your spouse pouring into your kids.

So get your kids around godly people.

Let them reinforce what you're telling them as well.

Here's the third point I want to say.

So it first starts in your own heart, then it's others, influence, a household, many people.

And third, we're gonna serve the Lord.

And that's Yahweh.

The Hebrew word for the Lord here is the word Yahweh.

Joshua is very specific on who the God is that's gonna be the focus.

Parents, we have to fight to make sure that little G gods aren't creeping into the focus of our homes.

We're a sports family.

I literally, five weeks from this weekend is kickoff of college football.

I don't know if anybody has noticed that or not.

I know, I know.

And I hope this is safe to say, the buck, I'm gonna talk about the buckey.

The Buckeyes, is that okay?

Okay, thank you.

I see those hands.

Thank you.

Yes.

The Buckeyes, August.

We are a we are a sports family.

Our son played baseball from five until 21.

We love, we love sports.

Um, but it is very easy for sports to become a god.

And the allure of a Division I scholarship for your kid can become a God.

ACT scores can become a god in the attempt to get a free ride to college.

Popularity and style and influence and thousands of other things can become a god.

Money can become a god for families.

It is important to be in sports.

It is important to get good grades, it's important to provide.

But as a friend of mine often says, when a good thing becomes an ultimate thing, it ultimately becomes a destructive thing.

May there never be a question, and I put this in bold letters here on my, I really want to emphasize this.

May there never be a question of what is most important.

A lot of important things in your family, may there never be a question of what is most important in your family.

Look for opportunities to talk about the Lord.

Michelle and I have found, as I said earlier, more things are caught than taught.

We have found that oftentimes the most rich conversations were not necessarily always scheduled.

They were not like, okay, every Tuesday night we're doing a Bible study as a family.

Um, or okay, you know, hey, let's process what you all learned at church today.

Those conversations typically never went very well for us.

I mean, they're typically like, oh my goodness, are you kidding me?

No, I just want to sit here and be quiet and look out the window, whatever, you know.

Um, but what we found is that if you're looking for opportunities, the Lord will give you opportunities to connect with your kids.

For my son and I, we spent a whole lot of time, can you imagine, five to 21, we spent a lot of time in batting cages.

And and obviously, you know, it was it was our desire for him to be a really good baseball player.

But in those times, it never failed how many times we would get into a conversation on the way to a batting cage, on the way back from a batting cage.

Sometimes we would be pitching and he'd be like, hey dad, I want to ask you a question.

And he'd share something.

I'd just be like, okay, you know what?

Let's put our mitts down, let's put the bats down, let's sit down on a bucket right now and let's let's talk about this.

That was not planned.

That was all of a sudden, I think the Holy Spirit is working and he's listening and he's asking, and I need to be fully engaged right now as a parent.

I think those opportunities come, and sometimes because we're busy, because maybe we're just you know not not paying attention or whatever it is, sometimes it's easy to miss those opportunities.

Do we have any country music fans in here?

I was expecting more hands.

All right, all right, okay.

I'm curious what y'all listen to.

But, anyways, yeah.

Okay, so who knows the song by Trace Adkins, Just Fishing?

Just fishing.

I hate these songs.

I mean, literally, they're making I'm a basket case when I listen to these songs right here, and she thinks we're just fishing on the riverside, throwing back what we couldn't fry, drowning worms, killing time, nothing too ambitious.

She ain't even thinking about what's really going on right now, but I guarantee this memory is a big one, and she thinks we're just fishing.

She's already pretty, just like her mama is, just like her mama is.

Sorry, that wasn't a, I'm not getting choked up, gonna drive the boys all crazy, give her daddy fits, and I better do this every chance I get, because time is ticking.

Um, I had a friend who he actually on his phone had an app that was a countdown app for the day that they graduate and are gonna be leaving.

And I'm like, why would you do that to yourself?

Are you kidding me?

That's terrible to be thinking about I only have this many more hours until they leave home.

But the reality check, the reality check in that is is this is what we're dealing with here.

They're not gonna be in your home forever.

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

As I said, we have three kids, 23, 21, and seven.

When my son was in middle school, my wife thought of a way to get some of his friends to get to student ministries.

Again, it gets hard, the older they get, the harder it is to keep them engaged.

My wife had this amazing idea.

She's like, what if every Wednesday night we had ale8's, little Caesar's Pizza, and they all rode together to student ministries on Wednesday night.

Well, if you want to attract young boys, ale 8's, Little Caesar's Pizza, you know, it's a pretty popular way to go ahead and get them together.

We ended up having 15 to 20 boys in our driveway every single Wednesday night.

We had three minivans between two other sets of parents.

We had a bunch of, we had a caravan of minivans that would load up all these boys, take them to church.

They'd all arrive at the same time, we'd be there to pick them up.

I gotta be honest with you, my attitude, over five years, my attitude, like some Wednesdays, was like, really, are you know, is it Wednesday again already?

How many more L8s am I buying?

How many more pizzas am I buying?

She didn't she didn't miss, she stayed the course for five straight years.

My son ended up having a chance to baptize multiple of his friends at Southland in that pond.

We did that for five years until they got their their driver's license, but we found involving your kids in mission is another great way to point your kids to Jesus, to involve them in doing something.

It was actually, we Bailey is seven, we we were foster parents and adopted her.

It was actually my daughter's idea that I think we should think about being foster parents.

Um we've been involved in fighting trafficking for 18 years now.

We actually involved the kids with going down to the house, interacting, playing games, um, being connected to the women that we were working with.

Recently, the the the most recent thing that we've done is that um we became through Compassion International, we became monthly sponsors of a little girl in Nicaragua.

Her name is Lillian, and it never fails at nighttime.

If we miss, if I forget to pray for Lillian, Bailey's like, Dad, let me pray at the end.

You forgot to pray for Lillian, that she had a great day today in Nicaragua, and that she gets good rest and that she's you know getting everything that she needs and stuff.

I'm like, yep, oh, forgot.

Yep, you go ahead and pray for for Lillian.

But they write back and forth.

We have her picture hanging on the refrigerator, and that's become another aspect of just mission.

You have to find what works for you.

For us, these are some of the nuggets for us that we have found to be effective in in our parenting.

But obviously, everybody has to find what works, what works for them.

Um, and I think if you ask the Lord, Lord, show me for our kids.

What do they need right now?

He He will show you.

I promise you, He He will show you for sure.

All the things that we've discussed have been what we can do as parents, but you know, kids make their own decisions, they make their own decisions.

There is no such thing as perfect parents, there's no such thing as perfect kids.

They're gonna make their own decisions, and that's hopefully that's not a spoiler alert to anybody.

Some of their choices are gonna be choices you don't agree with and that I don't agree with.

We model the faith, we involve others, we pray, seek God, we get involved in missions together.

At the end of the day, our kids have to come to their own faith.

As they're figuring out their faith, we walk alongside of them, we choose love on all occasions, make your home a place that they want to return to again and again.

Two weeks ago, we were coming out of the mountains of Colorado and my phone dinged, and it was a message saying that there was a fire burning outside of our neighborhood, and that this was a pre-evacuation uh heads up, and that they would let us know if an evacuation was gonna need to take place.

So, one of the realities of living out west, uh, we don't deal with this in Kentucky because everything is green and nothing burns.

Um, that's not the case in Colorado.

Um, everything is brown and everything burns.

And so literally a train went past our neighborhood and there was a spark and it started a fire.

And so as we're getting closer, we can see the smoke.

And it's like, oh wow, that actually doesn't look all that far from our neighborhood.

And we pull into our neighborhood and all of our neighbors are out there kind of keeping an eye on things, and we see the helicopters, you know, going overhead, and they're dumping water on this flame that's burning.

And and uh, we live right next to a state park that has a big lake, and it's pretty cool to see the planes come down, pick up the water, the helicopters get the water, and I mean they're ready.

I mean, they they they know how to fight fires, and and and they're ready.

But then literally they got it, they got it put out, we didn't have to evacuate.

Um, and then two days later, another fire broke out.

And and uh again, they got it contained, taken out.

Literally last week here in Cincinnati, um, our phone, our phone ding, our phone dings.

Tornado warning.

And we we're in Walmart, it's like tornado warning.

We go out and we look up and it's like the sun is shining, it's like, what in the world?

Well, it didn't take long, and all of a sudden it starts to sprinkle, and all of a sudden it's starting to rain, and we get home, and now it's it's really it's really raining.

And so I I did what all dads do.

You hear tornado warning, you're heading outside.

I mean, it's just like I I mean to see like where where's this at, you know?

Head to the basement.

Nope, I'm heading outside, you know, and and so so I'm I'm I'm looking around and and we go to the as low as we could in the condo, uh, which is not very low.

We go down to the bottom of the basements, and I'm looking out the windows, and then the wind is picking up, picking up, picking up, and trees are now starting to bend over, and we saw on the news that night it actually was a tornado that that passed by our place.

It was a small one, it was just more of a funnel cloud.

But within two weeks, two different warnings that went off on our phone, the the dings that were happening, I thought, wouldn't it be amazing?

Wouldn't it be amazing if our phones dinged?

And it was a message that you need to spend time as a family.

Can't cancel your plans for tonight, just stay at home.

Get Uno out.

Um spend time together, talking together.

Your phone dings.

Your daughter needs your attention, Dad.

Call her, check on her, take her out for dinner.

Your phone dings.

Your son is drifting.

Go go have some father-son time with him and see how he's doing.

There's so many important things to do as parents, but the most important thing we're gonna do as parents is model the love of Jesus Christ to our kids.

Have you ever heard the saying that the best time to plant a tree was 25 years ago?

The second best time to plant a tree is today.

Or the saying, the days are long, but the years are short.

You know, some of you all may have grown kids, some of you, some of you may um, you know, in this audience we've got different places that everybody's at.

Um here here's the amazing, here's the amazing things.

As you go through scripture, um you can you can read passages of scripture about when kids are young.

You you can read passages of scripture like the father who was waiting on the prodigal son, and every single day, every single day he was watching, longing, longing that his son would come back, come back home.

But you know what's amazing is when he hit bottom, when he hit bottom, the first thing that popped into is I'm gonna go back to my father's house.

Again, regardless of where your kids are at today, we continue to love, we continue to trust them into God's hands, knowing that he's at work, he's at work in their in their lives.

Today a decision can be made in your hearts, the focus of your parenting.

Maybe, maybe it needs a change, maybe it needs to go to new levels, or maybe you know what, we're actually really, really locked in right now on doing what we need to do.

Today can be a day of refocusing if needed.

I would encourage some of you all, if you haven't, if you haven't gotten together as a family and just turned all the devices off and sat down together and had a family meeting.

Michelle and I used to, every Sunday night, every Sunday night we'd have a family meeting, and our kids would grumble and complain, and it would be like, you know, but we did that.

We did that for years.

And it was it was a check-in.

Here's what we have coming up this week.

We're gonna have dinner together, we're gonna play a game together, we're gonna talk.

Um and it was one of those rich times that the weeks get busy, but we did that every Sunday night.

Maybe it's time to have a family meeting and just say, How are we doing as parents?

That can be humbling.

How are we doing as parents?

Give me feedback.

How are we doing as parents?

How what do we need to change?

What do you need right now?

Is there anything that you need that you're not getting?

You may you may need to chew the meat, spit out the bones with their feedback, you know, and that's okay.

But how are we doing as parents?

Asking them.

Joshua 24, 17.

As for me and my house, we're gonna serve the Lord.

I I want to share one more thing, and then we're gonna we're gonna watch a clip here.

I don't know if you guys ever watch any of the Kendrick Brother movies.

Um, I I love them all.

Um, there's one on Netflix right now called The For The Forge, which is which is free and it's it's it's powerful.

Um, there's one called Overcomer, which I I cry like I cry every time.

It just is amazing.

And then um this one is actually called Courageous, and it's the final speech in Courageous.

But I I want I want to share this to say, um, as I was saying, there's so many people that Michelle and I are grateful who have invested in our kids.

Part of that is is that we need to be willing to invest in other people's kids as well.

People invest in our kids, we need to be investing in other people's kids as well, too.

I I strongly believe that when you're when you're parent, when you're a when you're a parent, the responsibility is not to only to your kids.

Um and maybe it's just because we're getting older, we're gonna be 50 here soon or whatever, but I I speak into people like a father, whether they ask or not, half the time, you know, and and it's like, okay, you know what?

I'm gonna I'm gonna give you something.

You didn't ask for advice, but I'm gonna I'm gonna just share this real fast with you.

Um I think there's a responsibility to other people's kids as well, too.

And again, that's the benefit and the blessing.

As people are investing in our family, we're investing in other people's families.

God, I'm grateful for the baptisms that are gonna ready to happen.

Of people saying, I will.

I will I will follow.

I will follow.

Father, I I pray, I pray your blessings on Multiply Church.

This this is a miraculous story that's unfolding here.

And how can anyone deny that you're working, that you're transforming, that the kingdom of God is is at work here and going forth in Frankfurt.

Father, help all of us when we look at the world we live in and we see the chaos, we see the things that we often will point out, what needs to change.

God help us.

Help us to see the part that we can do.

Loving our spouse, loving our kids, loving those that we're in relationship with.

God help us.

Give us what we need to successfully pass on the faith, to point people to you.

Father, for all the men that are here, for all the men, including myself, God, we need your help to be the men that you've called us to be, to not be passive, to not be overly consumed with work, but to give time, to give energy, to give emotional presence.

Father, help us.

We need you.

We can't do this alone.

We need you, and we need each other.

We need the church.

So, Father, I pray a blessing on this place.

God, may radical things continue to happen in the families of Multiply.

May signs and evidence of your spirit at work continue to unfold here at Multiply.

God, we love you, we worship you.

You are good, and your love endures forever.

And we thank you for this time this morning in Jesus' name.

Amen.