"What God Has Joined Together, Let No Man Separate" | Mark 10:1-12 | The Gospel of Mark Series | Hillside Baptist Church

You have heard it said that 50% of marriages, even Christian marriages, end in divorce.

And when you hear a statistic like that, you might wonder if your marriage is doomed to fail.

What most people don't realize is that this statistic isn't based on hard data.

It came from a statement from the Barna Research Group back in 2008, which projected divorce rates to be this high after states passed no fault divorce laws.

Recent studies have shown the real number to be closer to 30%.

And when you narrow that down to Christians who regularly attend church, read God's Word, and pray together, the divorce rate is as low as 15%.

It might be even lower than that if we were to narrow it down some more based on certain theological convictions.

But if we think that 50% is the real statistic, we'll continue to have this perception that divorce is somehow normal even amongst Christians.

And that's not just a problem in our own day, it was a problem even in the time of Jesus.

The culture of his day upheld a view about divorce that was the equivalent of no fault divorce.

Most Jews even believed that Scripture made provision for divorce and felt justified.

But as we'll see in our passage today, Jesus challenges the status quo and reinterprets what the people of his day thought they knew about marriage and divorce.

He presents a view that requires radical commitment, no different than anyone on the path of discipleship.

Let's open our Bibles to Mark chapter 10.

Mark 10 · chapter mention

Our passage today is short, but certainly packs a punch.

As we enter into a sensitive topic, let's go before the Lord in prayer.

Heavenly Father, we pray that as we turn to your word this morning, that your Holy Spirit would teach us, to give us eyes to see, to give us hearts to respond, to believe and trust your word, to believe and trust your design.

We ask for your help this morning in Jesus' name.

Amen.

Mark chapter 10, verses 1 through 12.

Mark 10:1–12

And standing up, he went from there to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan.

Crowds gathered around him again, and according to his custom, he once more began to teach them.

And some Pharisees came up to Jesus, testing him, and began to question him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce a wife.

And he answered and said to them, What did Moses command you?

And they said, Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.

But Jesus said to them, Because of your hardness of heart he wrote for you this commandment.

But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female.

For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh, so they are no longer two, but one flesh.

What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.

And in the house the disciples began questioning him about this again, and he said to them, Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.

And if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.

Once again, Jesus is on the move.

This continues an important pattern of Jesus arriving at a new location and teaching large crowds of people who gather around him.

Teaching is the central focus of his ministry, and as our gospel writer Mark notes, it had become customary for Jesus.

However, it's also worth noting that Jesus has begun his last journey to Jerusalem, where he is on the way to accomplish his ultimate mission: to suffer, to die, and to be raised back to life again.

Mark notes that some Pharisees came up to Jesus testing him and began to question him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce a wife.

Without a doubt, their motives were evil.

This was no innocent query, but a ploy to trap Jesus.

After seeing what happened to John the Baptist for being outspoken about Herod, Antipas, and Herodias on this topic, the Pharisees had similar hopes about Jesus.

They wanted to trap Jesus by getting him to say something about divorce that could be used against him.

Jesus responds to their question with a question of his own.

This is also relevant because it gets to the heart of what the Pharisees were really asking.

The possibility of divorce, as well as the permissibility, was never really in question in those days.

This reference to Moses and even the response of the Pharisees about Moses permitting a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away is in direct reference to Deuteronomy 24, verses 1 through 4, which says, If a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes, because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, and puts it in her hand, and sends her out from his house, and she goes out of his house, and goes and becomes another man's wife.

Deuteronomy 24:1–4

And if the latter husband turns against her, and writes her a certificate of divorce, and puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies, who took her to be his wife, then her former husband who has sent her away is not allowed to take her again to be his wife, since she has been defiled.

For that is an abomination before Yahweh, and you shall not bring sin on the land which Yahweh your God gives you as an inheritance.

Deuteronomy 24, 1 through 4, had been used as a proof text to permit divorce.

However, varying interpretations of this text led to the formation of two different views about the permissibility of divorce, and it was an issue of considerable debate.

In Jesus' day, there were two well-respected Jewish religious teachers who weighed in on this topic, Rabbi Shemai and Rabbi Hillel.

Rabbi Shemai argued that divorce was permissible only on the basis of sexual immorality.

Whereas Rabbi Hillel, in what became the majority view, decided that the offending matter which allowed for divorce could be anything that displeased the husband.

A poorly cooked dinner, finding a more attractive prospect, a wife's refusal of the husband's control, the husband not liking her behavior, or for whatever cause.

And so there were two camps when it came to matters of divorce.

The adultery only camp, following Shemai, and the any cause camp, following Hallel.

It wasn't the permissibility of divorce that was questioned, but rather on what grounds divorce was considered permissible.

The Pharisees held to the majority view of their day, the any cause camp following Hillel.

Here we have religious leaders and teachers who already believe that divorce is permitted, yet ask Jesus to answer a question that will surely be divisive.

What they were really asking Jesus was whether he sided with the teachings of Rabbi Shemmai or Rabbi Hillel.

Would Jesus uphold the majority view of divorce being permitted for any cause?

Or would he take the more strict view of divorce?

What Jesus says next is profound.

Verse 5.

But Jesus said to them, Because of your hardness of heart, he wrote for you this commandment.

Instead of playing into the trap the Pharisees set for him and declaring which camp that he was in, Jesus goes a step further and reinterprets the passage altogether.

Jesus says that Deuteronomy 24, 1 through 4 has to do with the hard-heartedness of that stiff-necked generation.

Interestingly enough, Jesus even says, because of your hardness of heart, which included the Pharisees themselves, it's as much of an indictment on them as it is for the generation Moses was addressing.

Some scholars suggest that Jesus is siding with Rabbi Shemai when it comes to the interpretation of Deuteronomy 24, 1 through 4.

However, the immediate context which follows seems to suggest an interpretation even more strict than Shemai's.

Jesus answers the question about divorce by upholding what God designed for marriage from the very beginning of creation.

He says in verses six through nine, but from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female.

For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh, so they are no longer two, but one flesh.

What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.

This combines Genesis one twenty-seven, which states, And God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him, male and female, he created them.

In Genesis two twenty four, which also states, Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Jesus answers the question of divorce by introducing the topic of marriage and sexual identity.

This goes far beyond divorce.

This has to do with God's design for creation, specifically his design for humanity and the beautiful institution of marriage and the family.

Not to be overlooked is Jesus upholding the clear teaching that there are only two genders, male and female.

If you ever hear someone make a claim that Jesus was pro-LGBTQ, you can show them this passage which clearly states otherwise.

Furthermore, we are created in God's own image.

To be made in the image of something is to represent that something.

Therefore, to be made in the image of God is to represent God.

Connecting this to Genesis 224, when a man and woman come together in marriage, they become one flesh.

This union of two image-bearers is meant to represent the union of God.

Just as the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are three persons united as one God.

So a husband and wife are to be united together as one flesh, as Genesis 2.24 describes.

This union has further significance, as the Apostle Paul describes the union of marriage as pointing to the union between Christ and his bride, the church.

Paul writes in Ephesians 5 31-32 for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

This mystery is great, but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the Church.

Just as God is indivisible, the union of Christ and the Church is indivisible.

Marriage is intended to be indivisible.

That's why Jesus says in verse 9, What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.

When two people get married, they make a covenant together before God.

This vow to uphold the reality that marriage is a permanent union.

Husbands are to be like Christ, to love their wife, just as Christ has loved the church and gave himself up for her.

As the church is subject to Christ, wives are to be subject to their husbands in everything as to the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church.

These are the direct words of the Apostle Paul as he describes marriage as a mystery that represents the union of Christ and his church.

Do you have this kind of view of marriage?

Do you have this kind of view about your marriage?

Husbands, do you see your role in your marriage as being like Christ, whose love extended so far that he gave his own life for her?

Wives, do you see your role in your marriage as being like the church in humble submission to the headship of Christ?

And together, do you view your marriage as a representation of this union between Christ and His church?

The unwavering love, the unyielding sacrifice, and unbreakable commitment to one another.

People often think of marriage as two people coming together at the hip.

I am one person connecting to another person.

I am still me, and the other person is still the other person.

And if things go south, we can just break off from each other like a kitcat bar.

But that's not what the Bible teaches us.

Becoming one flesh is the union of two people becoming indivisibly one.

Just as flour, sugar, salt, eggs, and milk come together to make batter and into a cake.

There's no way to separate those ingredients from each other once they are joined together and baked into a cake.

That's what happens in marriage.

And as we see clearly in verse 9, God joins a man and woman together in marriage.

And what God joins together, let no man separate.

God joins together, man tries to separate.

Divorce is not part of the design for humanity.

It is not the defect of marriage.

Rather, divorce is the sinful reality of people in rebellion to God and his perfect design.

Divorce is an attack against God's creation.

God makes something new in marriage by joining together a man and a woman.

Divorce seeks to decreate and thereby destroy the handiwork of God.

Furthermore, marriage is always a good thing.

In fact, it is a blessing of God.

Marriage is the way humanity images the union of God, how husbands image Christ, and how wives image the church.

All of these things are good things, because they are of God and lead to human flourishing.

It is the sin of humanity that turns it into something that leads to evil.

Sinful husbands and sinful wives lead to sinful marriages.

God is not to blame, nor the institution of marriage.

We live in a day and age where many people have a low view of marriage.

They find it unnecessary, or even a hindrance to a romantic relationship.

People put off getting married for a variety of reasons, but at the heart of it, it's because they don't truly believe that marriage is a good thing for them.

It's no surprise since most people have a pessimistic view that marriage will inevitably end in divorce.

Why get married if it's likely to end in divorce?

I don't need to tell you how painful and devastating divorce can be, not only for those who go through it themselves, but also for the children who are often left to carry its scars.

It's devastating.

It literally divides families.

It's not just breaking off a union, it breaks a part of you.

Even worse, the sin that often leads to divorce can have effects that persist even long after the divorce papers are finalized.

There are many reasons why people get divorced, and I personally sympathize with those who suffer in abusive marriages.

It's understandable to leave when the situation becomes unsafe.

God does not forbid separation.

It's certainly not ideal, and the goal is that it is never final.

The hope is that separation will eventually lead to reconciliation and faithful marriages.

After all, that is the hope of the gospel, that sinners would be reconciled to God and to each other.

But that doesn't mean that a person is forced to stay in an abusive situation that puts themselves, especially children, in harm's way.

I recognize that this topic of divorce is very sensitive, and there are varying viewpoints within the church.

I also acknowledge that sometimes pastors, in an effort to be faithful to Scripture and in obedience to God, will counsel people to remain in marriages even when it involves abuse.

This has caused a lot of Spiritual damage.

Some situations are truly traumatic, and instead of protecting those who are vulnerable and afflicted, the church sometimes enables abuse to continue all in the name of God.

While this maintains a high commitment to preserving marriage, it neglects other commands of Scripture to rescue the weak and the needy and deliver them from the hand of the wicked.

Oftentimes, when it comes to sensitive topics like this, we think of exceptions.

But does the Bible offer any exceptions that make divorce permissible?

Looking back at our passage today, it is clear that in Mark 10, 1 through 12, Jesus does not offer any exceptions for divorce.

He doesn't side with Rabbi Hillel, the any cause camp, nor does it appear that he sides with Rabbi Shemai, the exception in the case of sexual immorality camp.

Our passage in Mark offers no indication that divorce is ever permissible.

Rather, Jesus makes it clear that Moses' instruction in Deuteronomy 24, 1 through 4 was not a divine endorsement of divorce, but a concession to the hardness of human hearts.

It was not a provision for dissolving marriage, but a recognition of sin's devastating effect upon it.

Importantly, Deuteronomy 24 does not establish grounds for divorce.

It underscores that the one flesh union created in marriage is not nullified by divorce, nor even by remarriage.

The covenant bond remains a reality, despite man's attempts to sever it.

In other words, the so-called proof text for those who believed that divorce was permissible by God turns out to uphold what God has already said about marriage from the very beginning.

What God has joined together, let no man separate.

And when man attempts to separate it, it becomes sin.

As Jesus says in verses eleven and twelve, whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.

And if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.

Some people not only believe that divorce is permissible, but that there is no issue with remarriage.

But shockingly, Jesus says that divorce and remarriage commits the sin of adultery.

It is considered adultery because it acknowledges that nothing can truly dissolve marriage, that what God has brought together, man is unable to truly separate.

Consider Luke sixteen eighteen, a parallel to our passage today.

Everyone says everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman who is divorced from a husband commits adultery.

Taking Mark and Luke together, there are simply no conditions where divorce and remarriage does not result in adultery.

We are not only commanded against divorce, but according to these passages, we should not pursue remarriage either, because it's considered adultery.

Even a person who was previously unmarried is said to have committed adultery by marrying someone who was divorced.

And I understand that this is an incredibly difficult teaching to receive.

Even Jesus' disciples have a hard time with this teaching, as we see in Matthew's version of this passage.

In Matthew 19, verses ten through twelve, the disciples said to him, If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.

But he said to them, Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given.

For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.

He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.

In other words, in order to avoid committing the sin of adultery, a person who gets divorced is to commit themselves to a life of singleness, similar to a eunuch, unless the person they were married to dies.

Only then is their marriage truly dissolved.

Paul writes in Romans 7, 1 through 3.

Or do you not know, brothers, for I am speaking to those who know the law, that the law is master over a person as long as he lives.

For the married woman has been bound by law to her husband while he is living.

But if her husband dies, she is released from the law concerning the husband.

So then, if while her husband is living, she is joined to another man, she shall be called an adulteress, but if her husband dies, she is free from the law, so that she is not an adulteress, though she is joined to another man.

Although there is a culture within the church that doesn't think twice about the topic of remarriage, passages like Mark 10, Matthew 19, and Romans 7, amongst others, should cause us to consider its implications.

There is a distinction between someone who is asking for counsel about divorce and remarriage versus someone who has already been divorced and remarried.

By no means, by no means does the Bible say that a person who is remarried should somehow renounce their marriage and become single again.

Absolutely not.

If you are remarried, you are still married, and God calls you to honor him in that marriage.

There is a mystery that goes beyond my understanding when it comes to the one-flesh nature of marriage, being also true in remarriage, even while your first spouse is still alive.

But husbands who are remarried are still called to love their wives as Christ loves the church.

And wives who are remarried are still called to submit to their husbands as the church submits to the headship of Jesus Christ.

You are not continuing to live in sin by being remarried.

The sin of adultery has already been committed, and if you are in Christ, that sin is already forgiven.

However, if this is the first time that you have become aware that remarriage, while your spouse is still alive, your first spouse, that that's considered adultery, or that marrying someone who is divorced from someone who is still alive is considered adultery, even for you, you still need to confess and bring this to God.

All you need to do is ask for his forgiveness and trust that forgiveness was accomplished by Christ on the cross.

But if you are unwilling to accept these teachings of Jesus about divorce and remarriage, then perhaps your heart is hardened, and that is a deeper problem.

I'm sure many of you have questions that will likely go unresolved by the end of this sermon.

One resource that has truly been a blessing to me in my study on this topic is John Piper's position paper on divorce and remarriage.

You can easily find it with a quick Google search by typing John Piper Divorce and Remarriage.

It goes deeper into these passages than I have time for in one sermon.

It also more comprehensively addresses what many believe to be a biblical exception for divorce based on what Jesus says in Matthew 19 9.

And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.

The clause, except for sexual immorality, is only found in Matthew, not in Mark, not in Luke.

The interpretation of this verse has led to a variety of viewpoints within the church, similar to how Deuteronomy 24, 1 through 4, has led to the two camps of Rabbi Shemai and Rabbi Hillel.

Piper does a bit of a deep dive on this passage and concludes that it is not truly a provision or exception for divorce, but rather has to do with the permissibility of breaking off a Jewish engagement, which was considered far more binding than we like to think of engagement today.

That's why in Matthew 1, when Mary becomes pregnant with Jesus, Joseph, who she was not yet married to, but only engaged with at this point, considers divorce for suspected sexual infidelity.

The word used for sexual immorality is different than the word used for adultery.

Adultery can only be committed when a married person is involved.

But in Matthew 1 and Matthew 19, the word used has to do with sexual immorality in general, not adultery.

Like I said, John Piper has a better treatment and explanation of these passages than I am able to get into today.

But I bring all of this up because it has direct implications for Mark 10, 1 through 12 and the topic of divorce as a whole.

I don't want to leave you completely hanging.

It's worth taking a moment to share what John Piper concluded based on these passages as well as application for today.

He writes, In the New Testament, the question about remarriage after divorce is not determined by the guilt or innocence of either spouse, nor by whether either spouse is a believer or not, nor by whether the divorce happened before or after either spouse's conversion, nor by the ease or difficulty of living as a single parent for the rest of life on earth, nor by whether there is adultery and desertion involved, nor by the ongoing reality of the hardness of the human heart, nor by the cultural permissiveness of the surrounding society.

Rather, it is determined by the fact that marriage is a one flesh relationship of divine establishment and extraordinary significance in the eyes of God.

Only God, not man, can end this one flesh relationship.

This is why remarriage is called adultery by Jesus.

He assumes that the first marriage is still binding.

God ends the one flesh relationship of marriage only through the death of one of the spouses.

The grace and power of God are promised and sufficient to enable a trusting, divorced Christian to be single all this earthly life if necessary.

Temporal frustrations and disadvantages are much to be preferred over the disobedience of remarriage and will yield deep and lasting joy both in this life and the life to come.

Those who are already remarried should acknowledge that the choice to remarry in the act of entering a second marriage was sin, and confess it as such and seek forgiveness, should not attempt to return to the first partner after entering a second union, should not separate and live as single people, thinking that this would result in less sin because all their sexual relations are acts of adultery.

The Bible does not give prescriptions for this particular case, but it does treat second marriages as having significant standing in God's eyes.

That is, there were promises made, and there has been a union formed.

It should not have been formed, but it was.

It is not to be taken lightly, promises are to be kept, and the union is to be sanctified to God.

While not the ideal state, staying in a second marriage is God's will for a couple, and their ongoing relations should not be looked on as adulterous.

I am thankful for John Piper and the amount of work, prayer, and courage expended to present this paper and controversial viewpoint.

Just as Rabbi Shemai's view was a minority compared to Rabbi Hillel, John Piper's viewpoint is a minority compared to the broader teachings of divorce and remarriage in the church today.

But this is what Scripture as a whole teaches about marriage, divorce, and remarriage, whether we like it or not.

The teaching of Jesus in Mark 10 is not easy.

It confronts us with a high and holy view of marriage, one that runs against the grain of our culture and often against the desires of our own hearts.

Marriage, Jesus says, is not a human contract to be broken when it becomes difficult, but a divine covenant, a one-flesh union joined by God and designed to endure until death.

There are no shortcuts here, no loopholes to ease the discomfort of obedience.

Jesus calls us to something higher, something sacred.

But this teaching is not given to crush us.

So don't let it crush you today.

It is given to heal us.

Jesus does not speak hard truths to shame us, but to lead us into life.

He knows our pain.

He knows the brokenness many carry from a marriage that has grown cold, from a divorce that still wounds, or from choices made in confusion or sorrow.

He does not turn away from those who are hurting, he draws near.

Our hope is not in our perfect obedience or in fixing everything that we've done wrong.

Our hope is in Jesus, in his mercy, his power to redeem, and his grace that is sufficient for every failure, every regret, and every heavy heavy burden.

He gives commands, yes, but he also gives strength.

And he binds up the brokenhearted.

He restores what sin has fractured.

He makes all things new.

So, if your marriage is struggling, don't lose heart.

Today's passage is a call to cling to what God has joined, to pursue reconciliation, to forgive, to endure, and to love with the love Christ has shown you.

You are not alone in that fight.

Christ is with you.

The church is here to help you.

And if you've been through divorce, perhaps with sorrow, perhaps with sin, know this.

Jesus is a merciful Savior.

Come to Him, bring your past, your wounds, your confusion.

He does not cast you out.

There is forgiveness in Him.

There is hope.

And if you are now remarried, bring your current marriage under the Lordship of Christ.

Live in faithfulness.

Let this season be one of repentance, renewal, and new obedience.

God is gracious, and his mercies are new every morning.

And for all of us, whether you're single, married, divorced, remarried, widowed, let us look to the one who has never broken covenant with us.

Though we are faithless, he remains faithful.

Christ came to restore what was lost, to reconcile sinners to himself, to make the church his spotless bride, and in doing so, to transform our lives, our homes, and yes, our marriages.

May we be a people who show the watching world what covenant love looks like.

Not because we have it all together, but because we follow a Savior who does.

Let us trust him, obey him, and rest in his grace.

Let's pray.

Some teachings are hard, hard to accept, hard to preach, but your word is truth, and your ways are always good.

We thank you that because of what you've done for us, through your son Jesus on the cross, we have nothing to be ashamed about.

Jesus has took on anything, all sin that could possibly haunt us.

And God, we thank you that you make all things new, that there is hope in your son Jesus.

We thank you for marriage.

We thank you for for the ways that that we get to image you.

That we would be like your son Jesus, to love our wives as he loves his church.

I pray for the wives here, that they would also love their husbands and submit to their husbands as your church submits to your son Jesus as the head.

I pray for the marriages in this room, especially those marriages that might be struggling.

God, would you intervene and bring reconciliation in those marriages?

And God, for those in this room that are not married, would you continue to be the all in all that you are, knowing that you are sufficient for any season of life.

And pray in Jesus' name.