Discipleship and the Temptation to Compromise

The gospel today of course it's very challenging Jesus says several times if you don't do this,

if you don't do that you cannot be my disciple but at least he's clear he's

not hiding anything now nor is the catholic church the catholic church has all

of its teachings always has,

um you can go on the Vatican website or any

church's website and it will give you all of the teachings everything that

we believe whether you like it or not like it it's there

we are not hiding anything and so

we want to make sure um that this is clear just like Jesus uh preaching to the

people um and even though they are enthusiastic about him so this is the moment

when everybody likes him right

it's like when you get a new priest and the priest is you know You know.

You get a new priest and he's preaching all these homilies to inspire and everybody likes him.

But the moment he preaches a message like Jesus that is more challenging,

some people will have a problem.

Some people will walk away, right? They will look at him from a distance and

say like, oh, here he goes, the troublemaker. So we're just going to go on the other side.

So Jesus, if he wanted followers, right? If he wanted likes,

what we want today is likes.

If he wanted followers, if he wanted likes, that was not the best way to recruit followers.

To say, if you don't hate, which I'll explain, your mother or father or brother

or sister, and don't follow me, you're not worthy of me.

If you don't pick up your cross, you're not worthy of me.

Of course, what Jesus commands is not to despise our family members.

The Jewish way of speaking where to hate means to love less by comparison.

So he says, if you don't love them less than myself, when they love them less

than me, you cannot be my disciple.

If you want to follow me, I must come first, even before your family,

even before your own comfort, even before your own very life.

And how is that applicable practically in our life?

You may remember two weeks ago, I think it was memorial, not even two weeks

ago, it was actually a week, 10 days, memorial of Saint Monica and then Saint Augustine.

Saint Monica, right, fifth century saint, mother of Saint Augustine,

but before he was a Saint Augustine, he was a troublemaker son,

very intelligent, extremely bright, and wanting to make a name for himself.

And he goes and he proclaims all kinds of doctrines. He's a lawyer,

but he ridicules her faith right she

was a christian and he was a pagan what we would say

today but he was or agnostic searching and falling into many philosophies and

religions but he lives a life of indulgence which means no limits right we know

what it means limitless right limitless coke limitless drink,

limitless fries, whatever you want.

America is good about it.

If you want limitless, you got it. You just have to pay. Sometimes we pay with our soul.

So he embraces followers, philosophies, and religions.

He lives a life of indulgence without limits. and as any mother or father here,

you can imagine the heartbreak of a religious mother, right?

She wants her son to save his soul. She thinks more of life than he does.

But Monica never compromised her faith to keep Augustine close.

I want to emphasize this. She didn't

compromise the faith just to keep him close and say you know she never said

well if I want a relationship with my son I had better stop bringing up God

because when I bring up God he gets nervous and he wants to walk away she would let him walk away.

Because God was the ultimate good that she had in her life.

Sometimes our family members become little gods to us, deities,

almost, you know, too important to bring up God.

Because what if they walk away? What if he doesn't come back?

What if he doesn't introduce me to my grandchild?

Because I bring up the faith.

She never said, I better just go along with whatever he chooses.

If he wants to be pagan I will just kind of quietly accept it and never say

anything even though in my heart I am crushed I'm crying but I'll just put up

a nice face and never say anything,

no she never did that that's why we call her Saint Monica a model to all parents.

She loved him too much to be silent and you

guys love your parents your love your children too much

when you see them doing something wrong when you see them I

don't know you know committing sins cohabitating anything that

is really offensive to our faith that it's really offensive

to God that it's really we know it's a mistake you suffer

so eventually hopefully you say something and

you say to your child I'm sorry I love you but I can't stand this I just can't

because I know it's wrong so for decades she carried the cross on unanswered

prayers for Augustine eventually Augustine has a conversion of heart,

he gets baptized, and he becomes,

one of the greatest saints of all time.

She teaches us to put Christ first.

That putting Christ first doesn't mean loving your family less,

but it means to love your family in the right way, in the right perspective.

She loved Augustine enough to suffer for him, but also loved him enough to challenge

him, to risk his anger, because she loved him more.

And in loving Christ more, she loved her son better. And that's why,

because of her example and sacrifices, he becomes a great saint.

Now let us hold this image and see what's going on in today's families.

I know this for a fact. Over the last 15 years as a priest, many parents,

out of love or out of fear, please remember this,

either out of love or out of fear, give their children everything they want.

They say yes almost to every request, and they almost think that they're supposed

to become friends of their children.

But you're never the same level. You're always a parent and they're always children.

There is no real friendship in the sense of friendship.

There is a parent and there is a child. A very clear distinction.

Now, in order to avoid conflict, sometimes parents, if they compromise early

in the life of a child, they don't know how to confront the child anymore.

We've seen those rage children on the internet, right?

Exploding when you take away an iPad or a phone or a computer,

you shut it off and they destroy the room, right? Threaten the parent's life.

Where do you think that comes from?

Do you think that comes from fear of their parents to challenge the child or

from love, whatever that means?

If you say yes to every request because you say, I love my child so much to

spoil him to the bone, don't be surprised that when they grow up,

you have no courage to say no.

Sometimes parents want to be liked, like as if they were looking for likes or

followers instead of raising a child.

Do you want your child to be your follower or Jesus follower?

Or they want to be respected and so they compromise.

You know, we will allow our child everything as long as he likes me.

And when those children grow up and reject the faith in your face sometimes,

and it hurts, or live like pagans, many parents don't know how to respond.

They attend godless weddings outside the church.

Many people have come to me asking, Father, should I go to this wedding?

Should I go to this? Should I go to that?

You can imagine what my answer is. But then they will tell me,

I went to this priest and that priest, and he said the contrary.

I said, well, do whatever you want.

I told you my opinion.

My opinion is clear on those, and it's as difficult as it is,

I think it brings the right fruit.

Is there anyone in the family who will stand for Christ?

One person who will remind everybody else

we cannot go along with this anymore you need

to stop this otherwise when we attend all these wedding outside of the church

or this or the other or we tolerate some relationships we know are destructive

to the children to the parents to the whole family we say to keep the peace

to maintain the relationship but i say,

and to feel close to my children.

And I say, do you feel close to your child?

Every time you face the reality of the life, do you really feel close?

When Christ is not present, do you really feel close? Do you really feel at

peace? Do you really rejoice?

Where is Jesus in it? Was he mentioned? Was he recognized?

I'm not saying to yell at children. I'm not saying to rage war against them,

but I'm saying be a parent, don't be a friend.

That's your vocation. That's what Jesus inspires when he says,

if you love them more than me, you cannot be my disciple.

Which means if you cannot bring up my name, you cannot be my disciple.

For some family ties have become the highest authority, the absolute that cannot be questioned.

Like a deity, legacy is their God.

And if family has become the ultimate good and the little God,

then God, real God, is pushed aside.

He has to be. If he's not in the first place, he's in second or third or tenth.

Parents think sometimes they are loving their children,

but if love never speaks the truth, if love never challenges,

if love never risks discomfort, is it love or is it fear?

Jesus says, whoever loves mother or father or sister or brother or himself more

than me is not worthy of me.

Whoever does not carry his cross and come

after me cannot be my disciple and after

the heaviest crosses brothers and sisters

the heaviest crosses for your parents for your

children for us children sometimes is the pain of infidelity or the pain of

lack of love in the family it is the cross of being misunderstood of being called

difficult or too religious or too pious or too weird just for loving Christ,

of being excluded because you stand firm in your faith.

So I tell you, sometimes you call your parents weird and you call them too religious,

but I hear their cry in confessional.

Do you see them cry?

I know they cry because they don't know what to do anymore. That's not being

weird. That's simply loving children.

Jesus doesn't hide the cost. He tells us up front, like a man building a tower

or king going into battle, if you follow him, it will cost you something.

So I tell you, if your faith in Jesus doesn't cost you anything,

you never feel uncomfortable because you want to bring up Jesus,

you are not following Jesus.

You are following an idea in your head that you are following Jesus,

but you are not following him.

Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.

It hurts, but this is the cost of true discipleship.

The last thing that I want to mention is something that I just noticed recently

with a wedding, the celebrity wedding of the founder of this online company

where you can buy everything, where I bought my stuff for the leg, right?

So I'm gonna like kind of preach against him even though he created that website that helps me now.

The recent wedding right sometimes the

cross is found in very relationships we vowed to

live faithfully today many people and that's not a new thing in a country like

America but it may be a new thing in countries that are now getting richer it's

a it's almost like a like a trend to approach marriage as something that is temporary.

Something that is until I get more money and until I go to more banquets and

until I meet somebody who is more attractive than you, I will be with you.

But that's not Christianity. That's the world.

Today, many are tempted to abandon their spouses once life feels easier or once they say,

well, what was between us it's burned out and I now just met this person and

they seem exciting and younger and better and so I'll just put you aside like a bag of something.

You know it struck me really hard when I was watching the movie The Founder

about you know the chain of food food chain,

And the wife that was with him for all of this time when he was trying to become

successful was with him, sacrificing.

And as soon as he became successful, he tosses her out like nothing and gets the trophy wife, right?

Because now he can afford a trophy, whatever that is.

So he needs to fit in into the new circles where all of this is tolerated and

they roll out the red carpet. and this relationship now is the real love.

This is the real love.

Not for us. Not for Christians.

No. To deny yourself means to look at your spouse and to say,

you've been with me all this time and everything I have is yours.

And in order not to look like a fool at the end of my life, in the eyes of God

and believers, I will stay with you because you've been with me.

You're proven. You're love.

I don't need to pay for it.

And so to deny yourself sometimes is to look at your promises that you made

in your life or look at yourself and ask yourself, why don't you want to make promises?

Why are you a child? You look adult and yet you You have no guts to propose,

you have no guts to settle down, you have no courage to make any move that resembles

longer than a year or being till death do us a part.

Yes, the gospel is hard. This is why we come to the Eucharist.

This is why we come to the altar.

This is why we look at Christ crucified and we see that he gave up his will

to do the will of his Father.

Because it was more important to him than his own life. Christ carries the cross,

not in words, but in the flesh, in the blood, and in total sacrifice.

So may we have the faith and courage of St. Monica. I'm not saying all of this to put you down.

I'm saying this to all of you and to myself to make a clear distinction of who

we are as Christians. We look at the world differently.

It wants to sway us. It wants to tempt us. And it wants to mellow us down.

But when we look at the cross, we can't go that route.

Because life goes by very quickly. And we want to meet the Lord on the cross

and say, Lord, I have been with you.

I have protected you and your name. And when I received communion,

I said amen because I believed in you and I was preaching you outside of the church building.