Our Marriages: Beautiful and Considerate

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Today's scripture reading is from 1 Peter 2, verses 11-12 and 21, and chapter 3, verses 1-8.

1 Peter 2:11–12

A reading from the first letter of Peter.

Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh,

which wage war against your soul.

Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable,

so that when they speak against you as evildoers,

they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.

For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you,

leaving you an example so that you might follow in his steps.

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands,

so that even if some do not obey the word,

they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives

when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

Do not let your adorning be external,

the braiding of hair, the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear,

but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart

with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,

which in God's sight is very precious.

For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves,

by submitting to their own husbands as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord.

And you are her children if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way,

showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel,

since they are heirs with you of the grace of life,

so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Finally, all of you have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love,

a tender heart, and a humble mind.

This is the word of the Lord.

Thanks be to God.

Thank you, Denise, for that scripture reading.

You know, normally with a tough and touchy passage like ours today,

I like to start off with some humor and give our lead pastor, Jonathan,

a hard time for sticking me with yet another difficult text.

But he's not here.

He's on vacation.

And honestly, this text weighed on me pretty heavily this week.

First of all, I'm not coming at this as the perfect husband with the perfect marriage.

I feel very unsuited to preach today's text.

That's mostly addressed to wives, right?

Six verses to wives and then one to the husband.

And then secondly, I'm also aware that domestic abuse is real, right?

And that it harms women much more than it harms men.

And I just think about all the ways that this text and others like it in the Bible

and this thing we call God's Word have been used by Christians to ignore and silence and oppress women,

particularly isolated, desperate, hurting wives.

And so honestly, I tremble under the responsibility of preaching this text

that's so often been misunderstood and misapplied and used to support male supremacy

and to harm and hurt rather than to help and to heal.

I think of one woman in particular that I met very briefly about 15 years ago at this church,

this church that I really admired when I visited it.

But just last year, I learned in a Christianity Today article

that this same woman had been physically abused, sent to the hospital by her husband.

And in that article, I also learned that one of her pastors had counseled her,

based on passages like this one today,

he counseled her to return home without calling the police.

And her takeaway from their very first counseling meeting,

this meeting with the pastor of counseling at this church,

was that submission to her husband was of a higher priority than her physical safety

and that her job was just to not rile him up.

On another occasion, she had called 911 because she and her husband had gotten into a fight in the car.

And when the cops themselves told her not to return home with her spouse,

another pastor from the same church told her to submit to her husband as to the Lord

and not to provoke him.

The article continued and revealed that there were many other women in this church

who had received similar counsel.

And while I'm not the kind of pastor that's hoping to counsel you in this way,

I also recognized that, you know, these things could come from pastors.

I'm susceptible to error.

And, you know, this was just one church.

But it's a church, and it's a church I know that has done a lot of good things,

even alongside of these terrible things.

So I really tremble preaching this text because I know the dangerous ways it can be interpreted and applied,

and I know that I'm just as susceptible to these errors as any other pastor.

And even if I preach this, like, perfectly, right, thread the needle,

I also just fear the ways that, you know, people still might take it,

even apart from my intentions.

So I want to pray right now and ask for the Holy Spirit's guidance upon my speech,

upon your ears and your hearts, that we would take God's Word seriously

and apply it rightly.

All right, so will you pray with me?

Father, we always need your help when we listen to your Word,

when we interpret your Word, and when we apply it.

Lord, would we understand your Word and apply it in a way that lifts up people made in the image of God,

in a way that lifts up the glory and the beauty of Jesus Christ,

and in a way that dignifies all those around us.

Would we apply it that way, in love, guided by your Spirit, in the way of Jesus.

Amen.

All right, so, you know, while a big part of me wishes that I didn't have to preach this text

or that I could, you know, pick which parts of the Scripture I agreed with,

the better part of me, I think, the Holy Spirit-led part of me,

believes that our discomfort, our contemporary culture's discomfort with texts like these,

well, that is precisely the reason, I think, why these texts need to be preached rather than ignored.

I'm increasingly convinced that it's precisely these challenging texts from God's Word

that actually demand more attention and not less.

Because, you know, when we don't give proper attention to these challenging passages,

I think we miss the incredibly unique and really astounding heart of God

and the masterful intentions that He has for this world.

Like, when we don't give proper attention to these hard texts,

what I think happens is that simplistic readings and interpretations,

they actually get to take center stage when we don't pay close attention to what God says in His Word.

Okay, so I want to pay close attention to this text.

Even as it says in verse 1, wives, be subject to your own husbands.

All right?

And you know what's fascinating to me, though, is that people who are theologically liberal

and then people who are theologically, you know, fundamentalist,

they actually both interpret this in the same way, simplistically.

Those on the right say, hey, this supports patriarchy and male dominance,

so let's preach God's Word.

Let's wield the Bible in our culture war to bring society back to our patriarchal values just as God intends.

And then those on the left also say, hey, this supports patriarchy and male dominance.

They say the same thing, right?

But then they say, so let's not preach this.

Let's not consider this as God's Word.

Let's downplay and critique the authority of the Scriptures to bring our society to what we know is truly good for the world.

So you see, while they might have different approaches and responses to this text,

their interpretation, their understanding of what Peter means is actually the same.

But see, what I want to say, what I want to show you is that both of these sides aren't paying close enough attention to this text.

They're both reading it simplistically.

And I think that they're missing the heart of God and His vision for the world and all of its splendid unity and diversity.

I'm convinced that if we are willing to seek God's heart with humility about our fallibility and our finitude,

and yet also with confidence that He is able to communicate His truths to us clearly, even with our flaws and limitations,

if we prayerfully meditate on these hard passages in the Bible with open hands and a heart ready to repent and believe all that He says,

what we will find is that God and His Word are far richer, far more nuanced, and far more liberating and dignifying than we initially realized.

And that shouldn't surprise us as Christians, right, that God's Word is true, infinitely wiser than each of us,

pregnant with meaning, always relevant, and always full of good news, even and maybe even especially when it says things that are hard to accept.

So I want to challenge us to not lean on our own modern Western secular Bay Area understandings,

which will predispose us to viewing the Bible as a dated, misogynistic text written by mere men who are unenlightened and just ancient.

And I want to invite us to approach these words of Scripture as God's very truth,

full of greater beauty, greater wisdom than we ever expected.

Now let me remind you of the context of this letter surrounding what Peter just said about wives and husbands.

Remember, he's writing to exiles in modern-day Turkey,

casting a vision for them as both beloved by God and at the same time sojourners and exiles.

As it says here in verse 11, look,

Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.

Then he says,

Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers,

they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.

He's pastoring them.

He's pastoring them as religious minorities to be faithful and distinctive beacons of light to those around them,

not for the sake of their mere survival, but for the ultimate purpose of what?

Of representing Christ and drawing people to Him.

His main concern is that Christians choose the high road,

not to come to retaliation or winning in culture at any cost, but that they walk in the way of Jesus.

So we saw Him in the last couple weeks, we saw Him tell them to submit to their pagan governing authorities.

We saw Him tell the servants even to submit to their harsh employers,

because they first submit to Jesus as Lord first.

And He acknowledges that this may lead to suffering,

but He also encourages them that this is the very example of Jesus.

This is the way of the Lamb who, though innocent, did not retaliate or return evil for evil,

but who endured suffering and trusted God, and then was ultimately vindicated in the end.

Peter even calls this their calling in verse 21.

For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you,

leaving you an example, so that you might follow in His steps.

So here in chapter 3, He's addressing wives in the same way.

That's why He says in chapter 3, verse 1, likewise, just as He counseled them as religious minorities

and as servants with harsh masters to submit,

He also now counsels Christian wives to be subject to their husbands,

even their husbands who are not Christians.

Verse 1, likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands,

so that even if some do not obey the word,

they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives

when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

Now let me just start off by saying what this doesn't mean, okay?

It doesn't mean that husbands can do whatever they want,

like abuse their wives and exert oppressive dominance upon them.

This imperative for women to be subject to their husbands

is not a license for husbands to subject their wives

to their own selfish and sinful desires and wills.

Remember, Peter says in chapter 2,

be subject, yes, to these human institutions, to your harsh masters,

and here to your husbands,

but he also said in chapter 2, remember verse 13, he said,

be subject, what?

For the Lord's sake.

The Lord is the Lord.

The husband is not the wife's ultimate Lord.

Jesus is.

So domestic abuse should never be tolerated

or even endured by those under the lordship of Jesus Christ.

In the case of domestic abuse,

you're not called to endure it as a martyr.

Call the cops.

Tell your pastors.

I want to make that super clear.

Be subject to your husbands does not mean subject yourself to his abuse

and do nothing about it.

Peter speaks against this, actually, in verse 7

when he gives the husbands an incredibly progressive command at the time,

one that would have been unprecedented in the ancient world.

He says,

likewise, husbands,

live with your wives in an understanding way,

showing honor to the woman as an equal.

Later he says,

as an heir of the grace of life,

just like you.

And similarly,

the Apostle Paul,

in Ephesians chapter 5,

Ephesians 5 · chapter mention

when he encourages wives to do the same,

to submit to their husbands,

he then turns and calls husbands to love their wives

like Christ loved the church,

giving himself up for her.

So really,

it's an even greater sacrifice and cost, right?

So, you know,

I sometimes ask Chelsea for a favor in our household,

and she says no.

And I jokingly say,

well, aren't you supposed to submit to me?

Don't try that.

Or at least don't be serious if you say that at home, all right?

She knows I'm joking.

That's the kind of relationship we have.

But when I say that,

aren't you supposed to submit to me, Chels?

I need a foot massage or something like that.

She'll be like,

no, you give me a massage,

because aren't you supposed to lay your life down for me?

All right?

And she is very right, right?

And biblically astute to respond to me in that way.

I'm supposed to lay down my life for my wife.

So again,

this text doesn't mean

wives may be subjected to abuse from their husbands

or that husbands always get their way.

That's not what this means.

And it also doesn't mean that wives are somehow inherently inferior

or of less value than their husbands.

No, when Peter addresses Christians in chapter 2,

what does he call the whole church?

He calls them a holy nation,

a royal priesthood,

beloved, special,

chosen by God.

He doesn't just mean the men.

He doesn't see a hierarchy within this holy nation

between husbands and wives.

Now, just as his fellow apostle Paul writes to the Galatians,

there is neither male nor female,

but they are all one in Christ.

They're all one in Christ.

I love how Kathy Keller writes,

both women and men get to play the Jesus role in marriage.

Jesus in his sacrificial authority,

Jesus in his sacrificial submission.

There is no inferiority here.

In verse 7 again, Peter even reminds husbands

that their wives are heirs of the grace of life,

just like they are.

And even when he refers to these wives,

I know you caught that,

as the weaker vessel.

He's not making a comment on the worth and dignity

or the utility of women,

but most commentators believe

he's simply making a generalized statement

about the comparative difference

in physical strength between men and women

and how that does lead to lower levels of social agency

and empowerment for women.

But this is far from saying women are of lesser value

and status in the eyes of God.

In fact, it's an uplifting word for women

and how they ought to be treated

even when they are viewed as weak in society.

The commentator Karen Jobes writes,

how ironic it is that the words

that first century wives would have read

as affirming and empowering

are criticized by some today

as enslaving and oppressive.

Because see, all throughout the ancient world,

secular historians will tell you

that wherever the Christian gospel,

the good news about Jesus Christ was preached,

it was always perceived to be radical news,

radical news with unique implications

for human equality.

People are like, what?

Our slaves are our brothers in Christ?

What?

Our wives are co-heirs with us

in our eternal inheritance with Christ?

What?

Our ethnic enemies are citizens with us

in the kingdom of Christ?

So what Peter is saying in verse one

is not giving a license for husbands to be dominant.

It's also not a statement about the value of women.

In fact, that Peter addressed wives

and even here wives who were married to men

who were not Christians, that Peter saw them

and that he thought of them

in their difficult situations

and that Peter also saw them as having agency

and influence in the household

and as part of God's perfect purposes

to win the world to Jesus,

that Peter in verse seven

even commands husbands to treat their wives well

and with understanding and honor and equality

or else God will not attend to their prayers.

All of this was very unusual in the Greco-Roman world.

And really quite progressive and revolutionary

in the early church because of the way of Jesus

and the way of the apostles and their teachings,

women were dignified in the early church

in unprecedented ways.

I just want to say that, okay?

But even while supporting the equality of wives

and husbands, Peter doesn't promote though

a flat and simplistic equality

that's without any distinction.

Make no mistake, Peter teaches that husbands

and wives are equals and precious to God

while also having distinct

yet equally valuable roles and callings.

I love how this one African Christian writer,

Tiffany Mutoni Kiri writes about the differences

between wives and husbands.

She writes, although we were both created by God

in his image, we have different abilities,

physical strengths and roles.

Our differences are God's beautiful design.

They aren't a disadvantage in the body of Christ.

In fact, Elizabeth Elliot says,

our inequalities are essential to the image of God.

Difference doesn't indicate a discrepancy

in worth or value.

Rather, it is God's design for his church,

marriage, and society at large.

See, there is a specific role

that Peter invites the Christian wives he writes to

to play in order to fulfill God's purposes.

There is a specific kind of witness,

a specific kind of picture he has in mind

for Christian wives to beautifully

and uniquely display to the world.

And this is the picture.

This is the picture.

It's a picture of prophetic, priestly queens.

Women united with the Lord Jesus Christ,

fully equal with their husbands.

It's a picture of these beloved daughters of the king

not asserting their worth and value and equality

through forceful revolution against their husbands

and against society.

It's a picture of queens who are so secure,

so convinced of their worth in the eyes of God

that winning their husbands into deeper relationships

with Christ is even more important to them

than achieving some quantitative, objective,

empirical kind of fairness in their marriage.

Just like we saw in Peter's advice

to political and religious minorities

and even to slaves in chapter 2,

the strategy of God's kingdom in this world

to win this world,

it isn't through asserting ourselves with hard power,

the hard power of authoritarian demands

and threats and power grabbing.

No, the way of Jesus is to win the world

through the soft power of respectfulness

and purity and holiness.

Verse 1,

Be subject to your husbands

so that they may be won without a word

by the conduct of their wives.

When they see you're respectful and pure conduct.

We're to win the world with our conduct.

So do you see what Peter is doing here?

He's not just giving practical advice,

but he's reframing our whole outlook

on the often challenging relationships

between husbands and wives.

See, ever since Adam and Eve turned away from God

and mixed up their roles and blamed each other

and traded their harmonious complementarian relationship

with each other for a power struggle,

husbands and wives have been caught up now

in this battle of the sexes.

But what Peter is doing here

is he's saying to these Christian wives

that the goal isn't to win against your husband.

No, the goal is to win your husband,

not win against him.

The primary goal isn't simply fairness

and equity between spouses.

The goal is winning our spouses

into deeper relationships with Christ,

which, by the way,

will result in more fairness in marriage

and not less,

but actually something even better than fairness.

The way of Jesus doesn't just lead

to fair marital relationships,

it leads to gracious

and generous marital relationships, right?

Relationships where husbands and wives

aren't even keeping score

about who has given up more for whom,

who's washed more dishes,

taken out the trash more,

changed more diapers,

who's sacrificed their career more,

or who is more valuable to the family,

who earns more,

and thus deserves more leisure.

Ask my wife Chelsea,

if we were pursuing equity

and objective fairness in our marriage,

man, I'd be in a huge debt to her.

And she would have every reason

to resent me, actually.

But because of the gospel,

because Chelsea has a Savior

who has loved and served her above and beyond,

Chelsea delights to serve me,

her husband, and our whole family,

even when she ends up giving more

than she receives oftentimes.

Because to her,

it's an honor to be like Christ.

And then for me,

because of the gospel,

I don't take her labors for granted.

I thank her,

and I marvel at her diligence

and her generosity,

and I see Jesus in her.

And I want to respond by serving her as well,

but not because I owe her.

I do have a lot of work to do

to be a better husband,

to serve her better,

but again,

not because I owe her,

or to rebalance the scale

to ensure equity,

but just because I love her.

There is no scale.

There is no scale.

This is what God wants

for our marriages.

Relationships where husbands and wives

just love and sacrifice

for one another

in mutual submission

as equals,

yet with different gifts

and callings and roles

to contribute to each other

and to their family

and to the world.

And this dynamic of wives

submitting to their husbands

and husbands sacrificially honoring

their wives

and living with them

in an understandable way,

it's going to look different

in every household.

The New Testament

is interestingly silent

about what exactly

this looks like

concretely across

cultures

and with all the unique

personalities

and giftings

and callings

and situations

that exist

in all kinds of marriages

between husbands and wives,

but the main point,

it isn't about subjugation.

It isn't about instituting

some kind of hierarchy

within the marriage.

It's about service

unto the Lord

and service unto one another

for the good of others

and the glory of Christ.

When Peter is suggesting here,

what he's suggesting

is that there is

a better way to live

than fighting

within the husband-wife

power struggle.

As those united with Christ,

wives can know

and trust

that they are already equal

just because God says so.

And therefore,

they are free

from the power struggle,

free from the burden

of having to win

or gain their equality

or claw it back

from their husbands.

And I'm not saying

women shouldn't advocate

for women's rights

and equal treatment

in society,

but what I am saying

is that wives,

you do not have to be

your own saviors.

You don't have to devote

your life to winning

the battle of the sexes

in this fallen world.

You don't have to seek

to win by any means necessary.

Peter says there's

a better way to live,

not for the ultimate goal

of winning the battle

of the sexes

against your husband,

but simply living

to win your husband

to Jesus

and for Jesus.

And do you know

what this does

when we reframe

the power struggle

and think in terms

of winning our spouses

to Jesus and His agenda

rather than winning

against our spouses

for our own selfish agendas?

Do you know what happens

when we do this?

If our aim as spouses

is to lead them

into deeper relationships

and intimacy with Christ,

then the very way

we seek to influence

our spouses

and our whole society

is radically changed.

I think this is what

Peter has in mind

and why he goes on

in verse 3

to speak about

how wives should

adorn themselves.

You see,

in the ancient world

and really still today,

how is it that women

have often sought

to influence men

and win them over

and gain power

and prestige

in male-dominated societies?

Well, typically men

utilize their bodily strength,

right?

But a unique way

that women have often

gained influence

in this kind of world

is through their bodily beauty,

right?

But if you think about it,

while it might gain women

some influence,

it's still playing

the man's game, right?

Still giving him reason

to objectify women

and see them

as less than equal

and not the image of God.

So Peter is saying here

that that is not

how Christian wives

are to win their husbands

and influence society,

not by their outward

perishable beauty,

but by their inner

unfading beauty.

See here in verse 3,

Peter isn't,

he's not mansplaining,

he's not imposing

some legalistic,

arbitrary dress code

when he says,

do not let your adorning

be external,

the braiding of the hair,

the putting on of gold jewelry,

or the clothing you wear.

Peter's not saying,

don't braid your hair,

don't wear gold jewelry.

He's saying,

let your adorning be,

let the thing

that is most beautiful

and compelling about you

be something

that's imperishable,

something that lasts,

something that's truly admirable,

a beautiful heart,

a gentle, quiet, peaceful,

and tranquil spirit.

Verse 4,

but let your adorning

be the hidden person

of the heart

with the imperishable beauty

of a gentle

and quiet spirit

which in God's sight

is very precious.

Peter invites his readers,

both husbands and wives

to see with God's eyes,

align our values with his,

to view as precious

what he views as precious,

not the perishable externals,

but the beauty

of someone's heart

and character.

He wants us to see

the powerful beauty

of a wife,

again,

so secure

and so convinced

of her worth in Christ

that she can willfully

submit to her husband,

not because she's inferior,

but because she is equal

to her husband

and because she wants

to be humble

like her Lord.

Not because she's dependent

upon her husband,

but ultimately

because she submits

to her husband ultimately

as a way of hoping

and trusting in God.

For, as Peter says

in verse 5,

this is how the holy women

who hoped in God

used to adorn themselves

by submitting

to their own husbands.

When Christian wives

submit to their flawed husbands,

they are not hoping

in their husbands,

but they are demonstrating

their hope in God,

trusting His plan

and His purposes,

seeking beauty

in His eyes.

This is what Sarah did

with Abraham.

Verse 6,

Sarah obeyed Abraham,

calling him Lord.

And you are her children

if you do good

and do not fear anything

that is frightening.

Think about Sarah's example

for a second.

When Abraham heard from God

to leave his homeland

and his country

and everything he knew

to move from place to place

to who knows where,

it wasn't just by Abraham's faith

that they moved

and pressed on

as sojourners

and eventually blessed

the whole world.

It was also by Sarah's faith,

which she expressed

by submitting

to her husband Abraham.

So really,

just as Christians

are called sons of Abraham

if they share his faith,

so also can wives

be called daughters of Sarah

if they share her submission

to their husbands,

not with faith in their husbands,

but trusting God

without fear

and continuing to pursue

what is good

and what is beautiful

in God's eyes.

These are the kinds of wives

that Peter imagines

will not only win

their husbands,

but these are the kinds

of Christians

that will win the world.

Not by political

or forceful revolution

like we saw someone

tried to do yesterday,

nor by tipping the scales

toward one party

or another

or even tipping the scales

to try to get toward equity

by any means necessary.

No,

but through Christians

who are so secure in Christ

that they will gladly submit

to God

and to others.

Christians committed

to living righteous,

holy,

pure,

respectful,

gentle,

quiet lives

of deference.

Christians seeking

something better

than equity.

Christians seeking lives

of sacrificial love

and generosity

and benevolent grace

extended toward

the people around them

in the name of Jesus

and in the way of Jesus.

You see,

Peter here,

he isn't calling

the Christian wives

in Asia Minor

to be more ladylike.

That's not what

this passage is about.

He's not calling the wives

to be more ladylike.

He's simply calling them

to be Christlike.

That's what he's calling them to.

So if we have a problem

with what Peter is commending

to these wives

in being subject

to their husbands,

what if the problem

isn't that Peter's

being chauvinistic?

What if the problem

is that our imaginations

are too limited

to see the dignity

and the beauty

of Christlike submission?

What if the problem

is that what we view

as precious

and beautiful

and admirable

is quite different

than what God views

as precious

and beautiful

and admirable?

What if the problem

is that we've made

an idol

out of headship

and leadership?

What if we are the ones

who wrongly think

of submission

as necessarily

entailing inferiority?

See,

if we have problems

with the kind of submission

that God calls wives

to here,

if we think

that the Scriptures

are calling wives

to some sort of

inferior status

that diminishes

their value,

and if we cannot see

this invitation

submission as something

beautiful and admirable,

then what does that say

about how we view Jesus?

If we cannot see

the beauty

and the strength

and the unique,

subversive,

countercultural power

of submission

and holiness

and respect

and purity

and gentleness

and quiet tranquility,

then we're missing

the majesty

of the gospel.

We're missing

the goodness

of the good news

of Jesus.

He was the high king

of heaven,

yet he humbled himself

as a man,

submitting to his father

in heaven,

subjecting himself

to birth in a manger,

life as a refugee,

homelessness,

hunger,

rejection,

wicked,

oppressive,

governing authorities,

and ultimately

an unjustified murder.

And yet,

is it not

the very humility

and submission

and self-giving nature

of Jesus,

the Son of God,

that we find

most beautiful

about him?

Is it not

these qualities

that most lift

our hearts up

to worship

and adore him

as our humble

savior king?

The one who,

though he was

in the form of God,

did not count equality

with God a thing

to be grasped,

but emptied himself

by taking the form

of a servant

and being found

in human form,

he humbled himself

by becoming obedient

to the point of death,

even death

on a cross.

Therefore,

Paul says,

therefore,

because he humbled himself,

therefore,

God has what?

highly exalted him

and bestowed on him

the name that is

above every name.

This is the way

and pattern of Jesus

that Peter is inviting us into.

And this is a word

to all of us,

not just to husbands

and wives.

Following in the footsteps

of Jesus

is to live a life

of divestment,

is to divest ourselves

of our privileges

and our power

and our influence

and time and money

for the good of others,

particularly those

in our households,

such as our spouses.

And for wives,

this means submitting

to their husbands

even while equals.

However,

you may work that out

in your household.

It means not undermining

your husbands,

but supporting them

and following them

as they follow Christ.

And for husbands,

it means honoring our wives,

seeking to understand them

deeply and thoughtfully

and compassionately,

even when they might seem

weak or frail to us

in certain ways.

We're not to take advantage

of them or dominate them,

but value them

as co-heirs with Christ.

And for all the rest of us

who aren't husbands

or wives,

we can walk in these ways too,

humbly submitting

to one another

out of faith

and trust in God's plans,

not needing to always

get our way

because we know God

will have His way

in the end.

And because of this,

we can focus on earnestly

just seeking

to lead those around us

into deeper relationships

with Christ,

making that

our number one mission.

Freely walking

in Jesus' footsteps,

honoring the so-called weak

amongst us,

treating them as equals

and as precious

in the eyes of God,

sacrificing for them,

slowing down for them,

giving them our hearts

and our time

and our attention,

laying our lives down

for the weak

and really for all others

because that is exactly

what our Lord and Savior,

Jesus Christ,

has done for us

and oh so much more, right?

That is how people

who believe the gospel

live.

That is how people

who believe the gospel

is the best news live

in their households

and in the world.

Let's pray.

Lord, we confess

the ways that we often

don't find Jesus

and His ways beautiful.

Lord, we ask for

a clearer vision

to see the beauty

of Christ

who laid down His life

in submission

and we ask

that You would fill us

with Your Spirit

to be those kinds

of people

for the good

of those around us,

for the glory

of Your name

as a testimony

to the glorious,

unique beauty

of Jesus Christ,

the crucified King.

Would He be lifted up

in the way we live,

we pray in His name.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.