Sermon
How Long, Oh LORD?: Faith and Doubt
Publisher transcript
Transcript
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I was thinking about it, and I've been a Christian for almost 20 years.
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I became a Christian right around age 21 and 40, so I suppose technically 19 years.
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And if I look back over that period of time and all that has happened,
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there is one consistent nagging question that has undoubtedly been the greatest source of doubt for me in my faith.
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And yes, pastors are full of doubt sometimes, maybe even more so than other people.
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And there's been one central cause behind most of my doubt, and that's the question of suffering, what we call theodicy.
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Basically put this question of how, if God is all good and all powerful, can there be such suffering and evil and injustice in the world?
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I have wrung my hands and stayed up late many nights wondering about that question.
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And if you just quickly scan the headlines, you know, I did this on Friday.
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I just kind of went and said, you know, what are the highlight headlines in the news?
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Here's what I saw at like a three-minute glance.
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Back-to-back hurricanes wreaking havoc, killing people and destroying homes and entire communities.
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A bomb explosion in the London Underground.
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North Korea menacingly firing missiles over Japan.
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White nationalist rallies happening around the country.
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That's just a three-minute scan.
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And then I started thinking about the lives of people I know.
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I mean, people right here in our own community.
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Right now in our community, there are people struggling with loneliness,
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with unwanted, unchosen singleness, or with marital strife, facing unemployment or impending unemployment.
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People who are struggling because they are homesick.
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People who are struggling because of challenges trying to parent their children.
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Or maybe their kids are sick.
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People facing sickness themselves.
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People grieving the recent death of dear immediate family, loved ones.
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I mean, all of this is happening right now.
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And that's just a tiny sliver of what's going on in our greater community.
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And so if you think about that, you realize that if you're a Christian and you have any integrity at all,
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in a world like this, you have to face really tough questions.
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You cannot be a Christian in a world like ours and not have to wrestle with very tough questions like this one.
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The good news is we are not the first people to ask these questions.
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And in fact, God's people have been asking these questions for thousands of years.
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And if you look in the Bible, there's probably no one who asks hard questions with more brutal honesty than a man named Habakkuk.
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He's one of the prophets.
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You can find him in the Old Testament.
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And Habakkuk, it's a short book, but it's packed with incredibly profound and unique writing.
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Habakkuk is unique among the prophets that we see in the Bible for one major reason.
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Most prophets follow a similar formula.
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You have God, and then the prophet is aligned with God.
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And the prophet, on behalf of God, is questioning the people.
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Right? So the prophet speaks for God, and the prophet questions God's people.
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Why do you go on sinning?
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Why don't you come and repent?
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Why don't you trust and put your faith in the Lord?
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Why are you abandoning the Lord your God?
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And this is the sort of central prophetic message that you see again and again and again.
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Well, Habakkuk is different.
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Habakkuk is not questioning God's people.
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Habakkuk is actually aligning himself with God's people,
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and Habakkuk is questioning God on their behalf.
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And it's a very intense dialogue that we see unfold here.
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And through all of this questioning of God, the pushback, the doubt,
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somehow Habakkuk remains faithful.
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So we're going to ask, how is that possible?
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What do we have to learn from this amazing little book?
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So we're going to be spending the next few weeks in a series called,
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How Long, O Lord?
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Asking this question together.
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And tonight we really come to understand doubt
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and the role that doubt plays in our faith.
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So Habakkuk chapter 1 is going to show us a couple of things.
Habakkuk 1 chapter mention
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First, the doubt in our faith.
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And then secondly, the promise in our pain.
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The promise that is embedded deeply in the pain and suffering of the world.
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So let's pray together as we get started.
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Our Father, we thank you for your word,
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and we thank you that sometimes your word is clear and makes sense,
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and sometimes it's very hard to understand,
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or it says things that we don't want to hear.
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But we know that all of it is good and profitable,
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and by the power of your Holy Spirit can equip us
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and mature us and nourish us in ways that we cannot find anywhere else.
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And so we come hungry and thirsty and open-hearted, Lord,
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by the power of your Spirit to receive your word today.
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We pray this in your Son's holy name. Amen.
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So Habakkuk chapter 1, it really begins with a bang.
Habakkuk 1 chapter mention
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I mean, he dives right in.
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There's no introduction.
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He just gets right to it.
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Brass-tax kind of guy.
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But let me just give you a little bit of information about Habakkuk.
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We don't know a whole lot about him.
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He's one of what we call the minor prophets.
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Now, don't let that make you think that he's less important.
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You know, read the major prophets,
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but the minor prophets are less important.
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That's not what it's talking about.
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Minor prophets simply means shorter in length.
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So you have Isaiah, Jeremiah.
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They're very long.
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The minor prophets are a lot shorter.
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Habakkuk's only three chapters.
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So it's like book-length prophets versus blog-length prophets
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is maybe a better way to think of it.
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And Habakkuk is an interesting word name.
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It's Akkadian.
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And quite frankly, scholars can't agree on how to pronounce it.
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And so I'm going to say Habakkuk.
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Some people say Habakkuk.
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The traditional Hebrew way of saying it is Habakkuk.
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I tried that in the mirror,
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and I just couldn't do it with a straight face.
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Every time I did it, I would laugh.
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And so I'm just not, I can't do that.
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I'm not a speaker of Hebrew.
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And so I'm just going to say Habakkuk,
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for lack of a better option.
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We don't know a lot about him personally,
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but I think his words immediately resonate.
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Just listen to how he opens his writing here.
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The first four verses are Habakkuk talking to God.
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And then verses 5 through 11 are God's response.
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And then verse 12 through the end of the chapter, verse 17,
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that's Habakkuk responding back to God's response.
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So that's how it, you know, Habakkuk, God, Habakkuk.
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That's how it goes.
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So here's how it opens up.
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Habakkuk says this to God.
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Oh Lord, how long shall I cry for help,
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and you will not hear?
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Now is there anybody who has not said that?
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How long will I cry for help, and you will not hear?
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Or cry to you, violence!
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Violence!
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And you will not save.
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You know, as I said before,
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I think this is a question for the ages.
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God, if you're all good and all powerful,
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how can you look at what's happening to me, to us,
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and not do anything about it?
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Where are you?
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And then God, as I said, answers in verses 5 through 11.
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We'll look at that more in a little bit,
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but suffice it to say,
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it is not what Habakkuk expects at all.
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It just makes things worse.
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And so after that, in verse 13,
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listen to what Habakkuk goes on to say.
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He says in verse 13,
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you who are of purer eyes than to see evil,
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and cannot look at wrong,
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why do you idly look at traitors,
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and remain silent when the wicked swallows up the man
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more righteous than he?
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So what's he saying there?
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I mean, he's kind of being honest, right?
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God, I know we're not perfect.
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I know we deserve some judgment.
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You know, nobody's saying we're perfect,
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but they are way worse than us.
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He's talking about the Chaldeans.
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This is one of the words in the Bible for the Babylonians.
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If you know anything about the Babylonians,
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they were, as God himself says,
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cruel and vicious and wicked and bloodthirsty.
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They didn't even know or care about the God of the Bible.
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They worshipped their own strength.
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And Habakkuk is saying,
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you know, we don't have our act together.
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We've got some ways we need to shape up,
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but we're nothing like them.
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And then he says,
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how do you dare to be a God who hates evil,
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who claims to love goodness and justice?
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You claim to love us,
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and yet you're going to let them sweep across the world,
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take us captive like a man would put sand into a jar.
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And you've got to hear the desperation in his voice.
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You know, at the core of his questioning of God,
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Habakkuk is zeroing in on a disconnect that he perceives
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between what God has revealed
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and his lived experience.
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That's the disconnect.
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Right?
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God, you say you're good,
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and yet you seem to tolerate evil just fine.
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God, you say you care about justice,
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and yet we're drowning in injustice.
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God, you say that you love us,
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but from where I'm looking,
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it seems like you've abandoned us.
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God, you say,
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help us understand.
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That's the core of chapter one.
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So you might say,
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he's expressing some doubt, right?
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So I want to stop there and just ask,
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what are we meant to make of this?
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Why is this in Scripture to begin with?
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And I think it shows us a couple of things
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just before we move on.
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I want to focus a little bit on the implications of this.
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The first thing it shows us is this.
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It shows us that doubt is extremely important.
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That in fact, for believers,
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I think doubt is extremely valuable.
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It's valuable.
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Not only does God allow Habakkuk to doubt him,
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right, these are some of the strongest words
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leveled at God anywhere in the Bible.
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I mean, he is towing the line of direct accusation.
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God not only allows him to do that,
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but then God takes this writing
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and he places it in his canon.
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This is holy inspired Scripture, right?
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This is meant to be profitable
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for our growth.
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And this is, I think,
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a clear sign
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that doubt is meant to be
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integral to a healthy,
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maturing faith.
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Right?
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So, you know,
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you can't really get this
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unless you look at the whole book.
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And sometimes, you know,
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week to week, sermon by sermon,
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we can lose the forest for the trees.
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But if you look at the whole scope of Habakkuk,
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commentators will say
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that it's not just a book on doubt.
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It's partly that.
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But I think one of the best commentators out there
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is a guy named Palmer Robertson.
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And he says this.
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He says,
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Remarkably,
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the reader is allowed
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the unique privilege
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of witnessing the progress
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of the prophet himself
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in submitting to a new concept
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of the Lord's purposes
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among Israel and the nations.
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The idea of growth
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or maturing in faith
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is essential to appreciating
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the genius of this prophecy.
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You hear what he's saying?
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This isn't just about doubt.
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As he expresses doubt,
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we get to see Habakkuk grow
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and mature
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because he's doing that.
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And if you look at the book,
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Habakkuk begins in sorrow,
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but you know how it ends?
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In song.
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The whole third chapter
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is a song of praise.
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Now, some of you grew up
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in religious homes
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and you grew up
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or religious churches
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where the culture
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was very much about
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accept what you've been taught
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and don't ask questions.
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And if you asked hard questions,
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well, this seems to be
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an inconsistency
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and how do we understand this?
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And these two books
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seem to contradict each other.
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You know, people,
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parents or pastors
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would say,
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don't ask questions.
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Faith means just accepting
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even if you don't understand.
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Right?
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And so some of us were taught
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that if you ask questions
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or have doubts
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and express those,
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that means you have
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a weak faith.
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Well, I think that Habakkuk
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shows us the exact opposite
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is true.
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That in fact,
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not asking questions
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means you have
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a weak faith.
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Because what that shows you
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is that your faith
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is like this really
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delicate house of cards,
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this sand castle,
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this glass sculpture
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and that you have to
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protect it
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from even a strong wind
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that might knock it over.
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That's a weak faith.
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A strong faith
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is a faith
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that can hold up
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even in the storm,
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even when everything
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is breaking loose
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and things are falling apart.
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A strong faith
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is that kind of faith
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that can be amassed
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in the storm
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that you can cling to.
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How do you get that?
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You have to weather
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a few storms.
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It has to be challenged.
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So we're not called
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to have a blind faith.
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We're called to have
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a bold faith.
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Boldly facing doubt.
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Boldly asking hard questions.
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So that then begs
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the next question
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which is okay,
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well how do we get
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that kind of faith?
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How does doubt
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lead to that kind of faith?
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And I would say
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we need to look at Habakkuk
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and what he's actually doing
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with his doubt.
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What's he doing
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with all these questions?
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Is he hiding them?
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Is he going off
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and complaining
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to other people about them?
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I can't believe.
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Can you believe what he's,
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you know.
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No, he's coming directly
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to God with them.
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In prayer.
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He's wrestling with God
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over questions
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that he has about God.
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Right?
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He's falling on his knees
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before him.
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And what we've got to understand
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is that, I mean,
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verse 12 is the giveaway
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that really shows us
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his posture.
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He says,
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even in the midst
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of his frustration
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and his anger,
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he says,
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O Lord, my God.
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My Holy One.
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Right?
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So this isn't a man
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who's standing back
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from God saying,
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you better explain all this
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or I, you know,
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I'm not going to,
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you need to help me
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or, you know,
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the jury's still out on you.
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That's not what he's doing.
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He's like a child.
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He's falling into the arms of God
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and saying,
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help.
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This doesn't make sense.
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Help.
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My God.
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My Holy One.
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I know I belong to you.
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I know that you're holy.
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I'm not even questioning that.
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Help me.
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Understand this.
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It's a very different posture.
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You see doubt expressed
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in different ways
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in the Bible.
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There's a great example of this,
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of the contrast
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in Luke chapter 1.
Luke 1 chapter mention
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Interesting back-to-back accounts
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between two individuals.
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You have Zechariah
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and you have Mary.
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And in both accounts,
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Zechariah and Mary,
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an angel comes out of nowhere
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and says,
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you're about to have a baby.
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And both people
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are astounded, right?
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Zechariah's past childbearing years,
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Mary's a virgin.
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So both Zechariah and Mary
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express doubt to the angel.
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What?
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How can this be?
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What's going to happen?
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So they both question
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the claim being made
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by the divine being.
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So up to that point,
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they're the same.
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But then the angel's response
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makes these stories
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radically different.
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What happens to Mary?
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The angel is kind
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and loving
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and generous
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and gives her more information
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and helps her to understand, right?
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What happens to Zechariah?
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Right?
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He gets struck mute.
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Right?
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Oh, you're asking questions.
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I'm going to take away
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your ability to speak
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until the baby comes, right?
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And you just think,
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well, what's going on there?
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Is Gabriel just kind of
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having a bad day?
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And he's like,
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I'm tired of all the questions.
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Bam!
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No more words from you.
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You know?
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And it's interesting
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to try to make sense of that.
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But the answer, I think,
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comes from the fact
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that the Bible
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has a very nuanced
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understanding of doubt.
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A very nuanced
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understanding of doubt.
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And this is where
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you see the difference.
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There's what you might think of
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as honest doubt.
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And there's what you might call
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dishonest doubt.
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And if you look at Mary,
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Mary is an honest doubter.
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Which means this.
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She is honestly looking
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for more information.
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She's honestly wanting
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to understand.
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Right?
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She knows that she's a virgin
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and she simply wants
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to understand
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the angel better.
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So she asks literally,
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how will this happen
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since I have not known
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my husband?
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How is this going to happen?
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What are the mechanics of it?
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Because I don't,
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I can't,
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I don't know how
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this kind of thing works.
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Right?
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And if you look at Zechariah,
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what he's actually asking
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is subtly
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but very meaningfully different.
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Zechariah says,
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not how will this happen,
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but he says,
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how do I know?
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It's a very different tone.
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So in other words,
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he's not saying,
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help me understand this better.
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He's saying,
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prove it.
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Maybe I'll believe you,
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maybe not.
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Prove it to me
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and then we'll see.
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Very different kind of doubt
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because honest doubt
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comes from a place
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of intellectual humility.
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Honest doubt is saying,
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you know,
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I know I don't understand everything.
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I know you know
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way more than I do.
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Understand things way beyond
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what I'll ever be able to.
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Help me understand.
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Give me wisdom.
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Give me knowledge.
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Give me understanding.
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That's honest doubt.
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It's asking questions
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and wanting answers.
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Dishonest doubt
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is called dishonest doubt
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because it actually tends
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to come from a place
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of intellectual pride.
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Right?
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It's the posture
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that assumes
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you know most everything
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worth knowing
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and even more importantly
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that if you can't
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understand something,
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if something doesn't fit
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with your sense
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of how the world works,
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it must not be true.
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See, so it's not really doubt.
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It's more of a kind
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of posture of judgment.
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I will decide
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whether this is true or false.
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I will decide.
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And if it doesn't make sense to me,
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it's probably not true.
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And there are a number
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of people who say,
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you know,
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you look at Christianity
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and there are these mysteries
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and seeming inconsistencies
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and things that don't line up.
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That's a clear sign
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that it's not true.
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And I would say,
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if that's your way of thinking,
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you should really question that.
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I think assuming
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that things can only be true
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if we understand them
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fully
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is the height
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of human arrogance.
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Right?
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Unexplained mysteries
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don't automatically mean
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something isn't true.
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In fact,
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if we're really dealing
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with the deepest mysteries
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of existence,
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wouldn't we expect
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that there would be
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some things
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that might be just beyond
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our vast intellectual capacity?
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So I think one of the things
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to take away from this is,
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beware simplistic answers.
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Do you know,
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some of the greatest times
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of growth for me
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in my own spiritual life
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have come from people
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asking me,
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knowing I'm a Christian,
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and asking me
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really, really,
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really hard questions.
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Well, how do you explain this?
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What do you Christians
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think about that?
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Because what it does
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is it drives me
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into prayer,
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and it drives me
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into God's Word.
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And it drives me
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to ask and seek out
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the advice and wisdom
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of people who have been
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believers longer than I have,
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who are more mature
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than I am.
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And all of those things
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bring about
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great opportunities
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for rich maturity
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and growth.
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But we have to be willing
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to face the hard questions
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if we want that
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to be true for us.
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So that's part one,
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the doubt in our faith
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and the significant role
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it plays in Habakkuk's life
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and in our life.
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And now,
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with the rest of our time,
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we're going to look
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at God's response,
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verses 5 through 11,
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and we'll see the promise
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to be found
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in our pain.
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Here's how God responds.
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Now listen,
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imagine that you're Habakkuk,
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you've just said
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what you've said.
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Now here's what God says.
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Look among the nations
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and see,
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wonder and be astounded,
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for I'm doing a work
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in your days
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that you would not believe
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if told.
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And you can imagine
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Habakkuk saying,
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I'm ready,
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lay it on me,
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this is going to be amazing.
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And then guess what God says?
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If you go on,
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right?
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I'll just summarize it for you.
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God essentially says,
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and I'm sort of putting
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words in his mouth,
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hopefully this is
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an accurate paraphrase,
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you think it's bad now?
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You think this is bad?
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It's going to get way worse.
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Right?
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I'm going to raise up
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the Chaldeans,
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the Babylonians,
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who are bloodthirsty
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and wicked
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and they only worship
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their own strength,
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and they're going to take
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all of you captive
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like a man piles sand
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into a jar.
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Now that's an interesting reference
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considering the promise
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given to Abraham, right?
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I'm going to make
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your descendants
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as vast and as numerous
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as grains of sand.
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Right?
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Well now God's saying,
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I'm going to let
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this foreign nation
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who hates me
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and hates you,
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they're going to gather
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all of that sand up
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and put it in a jar.
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They're going to take you captive.
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Right?
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And Habakkuk is horrified
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and so Habakkuk fires back
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and says essentially,
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Lord, as I said,
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I know we're not perfect
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but there's so much worse.
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How could you let this happen?
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And chapter 1
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ends with this image
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of Habakkuk saying,
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you know,
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all of us are like fish
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in the sea
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and you're allowing
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the Babylonians
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to be like this fisherman
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who just mercilessly
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like a commercial fisherman
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just throws these big nets out
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and gathers everybody up
-
and then at the end of the day
-
they don't even give you
-
thanks for that, God.
-
They worship their nets.
-
And then he says,
-
are you just going to let them
-
take over the world?
-
Is this your great plan?
-
End scene.
-
Right?
-
That's how chapter 1 ends.
-
But fortunately,
-
we have an advantage,
-
I think,
-
that Habakkuk didn't have
-
which means we know
-
a little bit more
-
of the story.
-
This is happening
-
in the, you know,
-
around the 6th,
-
7th century BC
-
so we have a little
-
more perspective.
-
All Habakkuk knows
-
is that this wicked nation
-
is going to conquer them
-
and take them into exile.
-
And yet more happens
-
and 600 years later
-
the Apostle Paul
-
is preaching in a synagogue
-
and he's preaching
-
to a combination
-
of Jews and God-fearers.
-
These are people
-
who are Gentiles
-
who want to follow God
-
and have a relationship
-
with Him
-
and so they're Gentile converts
-
to Judaism.
-
And so he's preaching
-
to this mixed audience
-
and he's talking about Jesus.
-
And he's talking about
-
how because of the cross
-
and the death
-
and resurrection of Jesus
-
it's now possible
-
to be saved in a way
-
that the law
-
didn't make possible.
-
And that's something
-
that is now open
-
to everyone.
-
Jews and Gentiles alike, right?
-
This is this new message
-
of the gospel.
-
In other words,
-
Paul is sort of,
-
he's just sort of laying out
-
God's plan for salvation
-
and then of all things
-
he could have quoted
-
in the Old Testament scriptures,
-
where does he go?
-
He quotes Habakkuk 1.5.
-
I mean, that's crazy, right?
-
He quotes this passage
-
full of doubt.
-
And he quotes
-
where God is saying,
-
look, you scoffers,
-
be astounded and perish,
-
for I'm doing a work
-
in your days,
-
a work that you will not believe
-
even if one tells it to you.
-
He quotes Habakkuk 1.5.
-
And the fact that he quotes it
-
where he quotes it
-
tells us something
-
loud and clear.
-
Paul is saying,
-
when God said these words
-
to Habakkuk,
-
ultimately these words
-
were pointing
-
to the coming of Jesus.
-
Habakkuk never could have known that.
-
But this is what God
-
is actually saying.
-
He's saying to Habakkuk,
-
look and be astounded.
-
Look at what's about to happen.
-
He says,
-
you know,
-
I'm going to raise up Babylon
-
and you're going to be
-
taken into exile.
-
But that's just the beginning.
-
He says,
-
then I'm going to raise up Assyria
-
and Assyria is going to conquer Babylon.
-
And then you're going to be
-
set free again.
-
And then Greece is going to take over.
-
And because the Greeks take over,
-
their language is going to become
-
the dominant common language
-
among these known people groups.
-
And then after that,
-
you're going to become decentralized.
-
And instead of the temple,
-
you're going to develop
-
the synagogue system.
-
And so all of these Gentiles
-
are going to start to come in
-
and become familiar
-
with the Jewish way of life
-
and religion.
-
And then Rome is going to take over
-
and establish the Pax Romana.
-
And then the known world
-
is going to be connected by roads
-
and a common system of government
-
and systems and institutions.
-
And then this perfect storm
-
of major political forces
-
that Habakkuk,
-
you're not even going to begin
-
to understand.
-
This perfect storm
-
is going to be established
-
from all these countervailing movements
-
in world history.
-
And right in the midst
-
of that perfect storm,
-
God's Son is going to plunge Himself.
-
And while you, Habakkuk,
-
may cry out,
-
O Lord,
-
and believe that you're alone.
-
And while we may cry out,
-
O Lord,
-
and believe that we're alone.
-
That man is going to cry out,
-
O Lord,
-
from the cross,
-
and he will be alone.
-
The only one in history
-
that God truly abandoned.
-
But because of that,
-
because of that,
-
this promise is going to ensue
-
of a complete cosmic renewal.
-
Because of this death,
-
all the injustice
-
and hatred
-
and cruelty,
-
all of that stuff
-
that you're railing against Habakkuk,
-
all of that is going to be dealt with.
-
And one day,
-
justice will fill the earth again.
-
And then the news of this
-
is going to begin to spread.
-
And it's going to go far and wide.
-
And then people are going to start
-
writing it down.
-
In what language?
-
Koine Greek,
-
the common tongue.
-
And then it's going to begin
-
to be written down
-
and formed into something
-
that will be called the Bible.
-
And then that's going to be
-
translated into Latin.
-
And then it's going to start
-
to be translated
-
into all of the various
-
common tongues
-
around the known world.
-
And that book
-
is going to become
-
to date
-
the most widely read book
-
in the history
-
of humanity.
-
And that book
-
is going to contain
-
all things necessary
-
for any human being,
-
regardless of their background,
-
regardless of their ethnicity,
-
to be reconciled
-
to the creator God
-
of the universe.
-
So yes, Habakkuk,
-
I'll try to answer
-
your question.
-
But even if I laid
-
all of it out for you,
-
you wouldn't believe me.
-
You wouldn't believe me.
-
You wouldn't understand.
-
But here's the thing, Habakkuk.
-
It starts with exile.
-
It's going to be hard.
-
Trust me.
-
Trust me.
-
So this is the choice,
-
I think,
-
that we have to make
-
on a daily basis.
-
Because just like Habakkuk,
-
I think that we live lives
-
where there's a disconnect
-
between what God has said
-
and who he says he is
-
and then what our lives look like
-
on a daily basis.
-
And it doesn't seem
-
to fit together.
-
Right?
-
On the one hand,
-
God promises to be our God,
-
to work all things
-
for our good,
-
to never stop loving us.
-
And yet,
-
on the other hand,
-
our lives are sometimes
-
full of struggle
-
and hardship
-
and it seems like
-
God is nowhere.
-
So this core question
-
is put to us
-
just as it was him.
-
Are you going to trust
-
only what you see
-
with your eyes?
-
Or are you going to trust
-
the words of God
-
to shape your ultimate
-
understanding of reality?
-
Where do you put your faith?
-
Do I trust that God's promises
-
might be unfolding
-
even in the midst
-
of my pain?
-
Paul saw the promise
-
in the pain
-
and the question
-
is presented to us.
-
Can we have eyes
-
to see the promise
-
unfolding
-
even in the midst
-
of our pain?
-
The world's groaning
-
in pain.
-
You know,
-
in our northeast congregation,
-
our pediatrician,
-
Dr. Reese,
-
you know,
-
Kristen Reese Hall,
-
she's our boys pediatrician
-
and she's a wonderful woman
-
and wonderful doctor.
-
But every so often
-
we have to take our boys
-
to see her
-
and we have to break
-
the news to them
-
in the car
-
that when we get there
-
you're going to have
-
to get a shot.
-
And they freak out
-
because that's what kids do,
-
right?
-
And then there ensues
-
a kind of theological debate,
-
right?
-
Well,
-
if Dr. Reese
-
is all-knowing
-
and if she's good
-
and if she's loving
-
and she wants the best
-
for us
-
then how
-
when this random nurse
-
comes in
-
and sticks a piece
-
of metal in my leg
-
why does she sit
-
idly by?
-
Why does she not
-
hear our cries?
-
Right?
-
Why does she do nothing?
-
And we say
-
everybody can hear
-
your cries.
-
That's not the problem,
-
right?
-
And we say,
-
you know,
-
we could try
-
to explain it to them
-
but they can't really
-
understand immunizations
-
and all that
-
because they're five,
-
right?
-
And seven.
-
And so at the end
-
of the day
-
we say trust us.
-
Now this is nowhere
-
near the scale
-
that we're dealing
-
with in Habakkuk
-
but it's a,
-
it's at the core
-
of it the same question,
-
right?
-
Are you going to trust me
-
that this is ultimately
-
going to turn out
-
for your good?
-
Are you going to trust
-
me with this?
-
You know,
-
some of you know
-
the story of,
-
you know,
-
my wife and I,
-
we met years ago
-
in 1999
-
and we got,
-
fell in love
-
and got engaged
-
and everything
-
was great
-
and then as we
-
got engaged
-
and started approaching
-
the wedding
-
I just began
-
to lock down
-
and I can't really
-
explain it
-
but essentially
-
I can only describe it
-
as a kind of profound
-
emotional,
-
spiritual,
-
psychological block
-
where I just could not
-
move forward.
-
I was utterly terrified
-
and this resulted
-
in us having to
-
call off our engagement
-
and it was bad
-
because it was only
-
a few months
-
before the wedding
-
so we're talking
-
thousands and thousands
-
of dollars
-
of deposits lost,
-
trying to sell
-
bridesmaids dresses
-
on eBay,
-
you know,
-
the whole nine yards.
-
Laura was utterly
-
devastated,
-
you know,
-
I was so devastated
-
and depressed
-
that I started taking
-
antidepressants
-
and going to counseling
-
and trying to figure out
-
what's wrong with me.
-
I felt like I was
-
a massive failure
-
and we were apart
-
for five years
-
and much of that early time,
-
first two or three years
-
was just wrestling
-
with God
-
over what happened,
-
what,
-
I felt so called to this
-
and she felt so called
-
to this
-
and it all seemed right,
-
what happened to me?
-
You know,
-
and it's weird
-
when there's something
-
in your own soul
-
that you can't understand.
-
There's a part of you
-
that's doing something
-
that you can't even
-
make sense of.
-
You feel like
-
you've betrayed yourself,
-
at least I did.
-
And then through
-
this whole series
-
of events,
-
five years later,
-
we reconnect,
-
we realize we're more
-
in love than ever,
-
we get back together,
-
we get engaged,
-
we get married
-
and now we've been
-
married for ten years,
-
we have three beautiful kids
-
and I may be biased
-
but I think we have
-
one of the best marriages around.
-
I'm absolutely crazy
-
about her
-
and she likes me okay
-
as well
-
and it works great.
-
And you know,
-
the funny thing
-
about that story is,
-
again,
-
it's just a small example,
-
it's nothing like Habakkuk,
-
but the funny thing
-
is that two things
-
are simultaneously true
-
that don't really
-
seem to fit together.
-
On the one hand,
-
would I wish that
-
on anyone?
-
Absolutely not.
-
Absolutely not.
-
It was a dark night
-
of the soul
-
for both of us.
-
And yet on the other hand,
-
when I ask her,
-
and this comes up
-
every now and then,
-
would you change anything?
-
If you could,
-
would you change it?
-
She says,
-
absolutely not.
-
And that's a weird
-
thing to say.
-
But when we look at that,
-
somehow that is a part
-
of who we are as people
-
and it's a part,
-
I think,
-
of why our marriage
-
is so strong now.
-
Now,
-
if you had tried
-
to tell me any of that
-
in 2002,
-
I would have laughed
-
you out of my house.
-
I don't even want
-
to hear that.
-
But now,
-
looking back,
-
God was somehow
-
mysteriously at work.
-
Now,
-
I don't understand
-
everything about it.
-
I certainly have
-
a lot of questions.
-
I can't wait
-
to ask God about it.
-
A lot of other stuff
-
in life.
-
But I can tell you
-
that we see
-
God's goodness in it.
-
In other words,
-
we're able to see
-
the promise in the pain.
-
God's will unfolding
-
in some amazing way
-
that we wouldn't even believe
-
even if he told us.
-
Right?
-
So the most amazing thing
-
about Habakkuk,
-
and this is where
-
we need to stop
-
for this week,
-
the most amazing thing
-
about Habakkuk
-
is that Habakkuk
-
doesn't have
-
any of this perspective
-
bear in mind.
-
He doesn't know
-
what's on the other
-
side of exile.
-
He doesn't know
-
anything about
-
the coming of Jesus.
-
He doesn't know
-
any of that.
-
All he knows
-
is he's staring exile
-
in the face
-
like looking down
-
the barrel of a gun.
-
And yet,
-
even without
-
that perspective,
-
he trusts God.
-
And he falls
-
into his arms.
-
So how much more
-
then can we
-
who have the
-
perspective of
-
Jesus Christ
-
trust God?
-
even if things
-
are hard
-
and don't make sense.
-
Because we're able
-
to look at the cross
-
and see the promise
-
in the pain
-
that the greatest
-
pain and suffering
-
ever experienced
-
by a human being
-
could produce
-
the greatest hope
-
the world has ever
-
known.
-
In the name of the
-
Father and the Son
-
and the Holy Spirit.
-
Amen.