Stewardship as Counterculture: Stewards of Grace

Well, welcome to Church of the Advent.

Welcome back if you're returning.

Especially welcome if this is your first time.

I know many of us were potentially traveling this past week,

and we still have a lot of people on the road,

so we'll pray for their safe return and navigation

through the inevitable traffic that they will face today.

We celebrated Thanksgiving this past week in this country,

and it's a time, hopefully, amid all of the travel and stress and logistics,

where we had a moment to reflect on things we're thankful for.

And that's an appropriate thing to be thinking about

as we open God's Word together this evening,

because we are coming to the end of a series

that we started a few weeks back on stewardship.

And gratitude is a very important, very central idea

when you talk about stewardship,

because this series has been an exploration

of the truth that God actually owns everything.

And anything that we have in our lives

is something that has been entrusted to us by God

to be used in ways that reflect His heart.

And so we've been exploring that.

We talked about what it means to steward the world and creation.

We talked about what it means to steward our time,

to steward our bodies,

to steward our wealth and privilege.

We've looked at this through a number of different lenses.

And tonight, it culminates in a topic

that I think draws a lot of these themes together.

And so we're going to draw together a lot of the things

that we've talked about over the last few weeks.

We see this realm of stewardship

in 1 Peter 4, verse 10,

1 Peter 4:10

which is going to be our focus.

Peter says this,

As each has received a gift,

use it to serve one another

as good stewards of God's varied grace.

So this is our final topic of stewardship,

the stewardship of grace.

And we'll see three things looking at 1 Peter 4, 7 through 10.

We'll see first, what does this mean?

What does it mean to be a steward of grace?

It's a little more esoteric than wealth or time.

What does it mean?

Why is it so difficult to do?

And then lastly, how do we do it well?

What does faithful stewardship look like

when it comes to grace?

Let's pray.

Our Father, thank you.

As we have perhaps said thank you

for many things this week,

chiefly we thank you

for your presence among us,

that we can gather in a building like this

on a Sunday night

and know that regardless of how distracted

or torn or spread thin we might feel,

that you are fully present here.

Lord, we crave and we hunger for your voice.

We thirst for your word.

We pray that you would speak to us, Lord.

We pray this in your Son's holy name.

Amen.

So stewardship of grace,

what does that even mean?

1 Peter 4, chapter 4, verses 7 through 10

is a summary passage.

It's summarizing the Christian life.

This book is about Christians.

It's a letter from Peter to Christians

who were living in the diaspora,

the dispersed body of Christ,

living all around the known world

in places that are either indifferent

or maybe even hostile to the Christian faith.

And this is a pastoral letter of encouragement.

This is how you should live.

And he's laid out the gospel,

the beauty of our salvation in Jesus.

He's then talked about what it means

to face suffering

and to grow up into salvation.

And now as we get to chapter 4,

he's giving us a vision of the Christian life.

Verse 7 says,

the end of all things is near.

In other words, he's saying,

until Jesus comes again,

this is how we should live.

And then he lays it out.

And he says that above all,

Christians must love one another.

We must love one another.

What's important to note is that

when we think of love,

we think of a feeling.

Like I feel love for my wife,

for my kids, or my friends.

But when he talks about love,

he's talking about something that is active,

a verb.

Love one another.

And then he defines what that means.

Okay, what does that love look like,

expressed?

And he gives us two things.

Show hospitality,

which we've talked about a number of times

in our church.

And then the second thing,

is he says that we are to use

the gifts of grace that we've been given

to serve one another

as good stewards of God's varied grace.

So hospitality and then stewardship of grace.

And I think the two are connected.

I'll show you a little bit later

why I think hospitality,

how that figures in here.

But what I want to talk about now

is the fact that when we talk about God's grace

and stewarding that grace,

we're not just talking about the grace

that enables us to be saved.

God's grace that comes through Jesus

that saves sinners and reconciles them to God.

That's the beginning,

but there's more to it.

God's grace is actually

that which enables us to grow

and to mature

and the term is to be sanctified,

to become more like Jesus.

His grace coming into our lives

is what enables that to happen

in the power of the Spirit.

And so what Peter is saying

is that when God

pours his grace into his church,

he does it through

individual Christians.

He pours his grace through us

into one another's lives.

We're all made stewards of this grace.

And that happens in the form of gifts,

spiritual gifts.

So if you're a follower of Jesus,

if you've been baptized,

you have spiritual gifts.

You are in many ways,

and these gifts in you

are like channels of grace.

Or to use a different image,

when Jesus wants to shine

the light of his presence

into his church,

just as a light shines through a prism

and white light will be refracted

into all manner of hue,

so Jesus shines the light of his presence

through his church.

And each person is like a facet

of that prism.

And that light shines

in a slightly different hue.

So when God wants to shine his grace,

pour his grace,

it happens through our spiritual gifts.

And Peter speaks in generalities.

He says, you know,

there's essentially two categories of gifts.

He says there are those who speak,

speaking gifts,

and those who serve,

serving gifts.

And they work together.

If you look at other places

like Romans chapter 12,

Romans 12 · chapter mention

or 1 Corinthians chapter 12,

1 Corinthians 12 · chapter mention

and 13 and 14,

Ephesians chapter 4,

Ephesians 4 · chapter mention

you see some of the more specific gifts

listed out.

These aren't exhaustive lists,

but they give us some specific examples

of what spiritual gifts

we're talking about.

So speaking gifts might include

prophecy,

right,

applying God's word

in ways that pierce hearts

and expose sin.

That's a speaking gift.

You might have a gift of teaching,

or of exhortation.

Exhortation is sort of strong encouragement,

or encouragement,

right?

These are speaking gifts.

Right alongside those,

there are serving gifts,

like service,

like healing,

like giving.

We're all called to give,

but some people are extraordinarily gifted.

They're extraordinarily generous,

and their gifts bear much fruit.

It's a spiritual gift.

The gift of mercy.

These are service-oriented gifts.

But the point that I want to dwell on with you

for just a few minutes

is this,

that God has designed His community,

communities like ours,

to be interdependent,

where each person

both needs and is needed.

Interdependent communities.

And being a loving community

means being an interdependent community.

That's what Peter's saying.

So there's a couple of implications

just to push this

into the realm of our lives

a little deeper.

First implication is this.

You need other Christians in your life.

You need Christians in your life.

And I'm not just talking about

Christians' friends

that you see once or twice a week.

I'm talking about spiritual friendships.

People who,

with whom you have

an explicit understanding

that you desire

to be used by God

in their life.

And you desire them

to be used in your life

to grow.

That you have committed to

not just being friends

but seeking

one another's growth

and maturity

in Christ.

You need those kind of people

in your life.

And if what Peter says

is true,

it means that as we read

over the list of spiritual gifts,

normally we read

over the list of spiritual gifts

and the main question

at least in my mind is

I wonder which ones I have.

And that's kind of human nature.

Maybe I have this.

Maybe I have this.

And that's really important.

We'll talk about that

in just a little while.

But there's another way

to read the list of gifts.

And that is

it's a list of needs.

It's a list of things

that I need.

Right?

So this means that

as I look down the list

of spiritual gifts,

I realize

I need people

to teach me

things that I don't know.

I need people

with the gift of teaching

in my life.

I need people

with the gift of wisdom

to share wisdom

that I may lack.

I need people

with the gift of prophecy

who can speak prophetically

into my life

and pierce my heart

and expose sin.

I need people

to exhort me

at times.

To encourage me

at times.

I need people

sometimes to serve me.

to pray for me

to be healed.

To show me mercy.

It's a list of needs.

Does that make you

uncomfortable at all?

Just the idea

that you would need

things like that

from people.

And I think

for most of us

it's hard to really admit.

To acknowledge,

yeah,

there are times

when I just don't know.

There are times

when I have no idea

what to do.

There are times

when I need to be called out.

There are times

when I need to be

taken care of.

There are times

when I need people

to pray for my healing.

I think it's human nature

and especially

in our culture

to spend most of our time

convincing people

that we don't need anything.

You know,

most of my time

I want people to know

that I've kind of

got it together.

That I'm kind of good.

I don't,

you're,

you know,

I don't really need anything.

Things are fine

in my life.

And I think

that's because

we live in a culture

that rewards autonomy

and rewards self-sufficiency.

I mean,

what does it mean

to be an adult

in our culture?

A lot of people

in this room

are,

you know,

sort of transitioning

or kind of

in what might be called

early adulthood.

What does that mean?

I mean,

what's the goal

of being an adult?

What is adulting

all about?

It's self-sufficiency,

isn't it?

I mean,

isn't being an adult

really just not needing

anything anymore?

You no longer

need parental support.

You no longer,

you kind of can do it

all yourself.

I mean,

that's essentially,

I think,

how we think about it.

So the idea

that I would need anything

is pretty uncomfortable.

But what we need

to understand

is that Peter

is totally shattering

that whole idea

of self-sufficiency.

And one implication

of what he's saying

is unless there are

other believers

pouring grace

into your life,

your growth

is going to be stunted.

It's going to be stunted.

So that's the first thing.

You need other Christians

in your life.

The second point

I want to make

is that other Christians

need you

in their life.

You know,

other Christians

need you

in their life.

There are specific ways

that God's,

if you're here

and you're a Christian,

there are specific ways

that God's grace

is meant to flow

through you,

through your personality,

through your quirks,

all the things

that make you you.

So there are needs

in this church

that only you

are able to meet.

And there are hands

that only you

can hold

and spaces

and roles

that only you

can fill.

And it's very important

to understand that,

that when you look

around this room,

every single person

who's here,

if you're here,

chances are

you're not just

randomly here,

that you're here

because God

has given you

as a gift,

that he looked

at the church

and saw the needs

and said,

this person

would fit very well

here.

They have gifts

that are needed

by this community.

There are no accidents

in God's kingdom.

So we need other Christians

in our lives,

other Christians need us

in their lives.

And this is what it means

to be a steward

of God's grace.

God's grace pours

through us

into one another's lives.

Now,

it's all well and good,

nice and clear.

Why is it so hard to do?

What is the major challenge?

And I think that there

are a number of ways

we could go,

a number of reasons

why it's hard,

but I just really want

to focus on what I think

is a core challenge

of interdependence

and why you don't often

see this happening

well in churches.

And that's this fact,

that the whole idea

that we need other people

to pour grace

into our lives,

and more to the point,

the whole idea

that we need to change

or that we need to grow

or that we need to transform

runs completely

against our culture.

We live in a culture

that has been termed

more and more

the age of authenticity.

I don't know

if you've heard this term,

but here's what Jonathan Grant,

here's how he defines it.

Modern authenticity

encourages us

to create our own beliefs

and morality.

The only rule being

that they must resonate

with who we feel

we really are.

The worst thing we can do

is to conform

to some moral code

that is imposed on us

from the outside,

by society,

our parents,

the church,

or whoever else.

It is deemed

to be self-evident

that any such imposition

would undermine

our unique identity.

So this is the culture

that we live in,

that I have a moral obligation

to be true

to what I feel

on the inside

and to express that,

and the less polluted

it is by outside influence,

the more authentic

and the more true

it is.

So why would I let you

speak into my life

and pollute

my sense of self?

I need to keep myself

clear of all of that,

right?

And think about

the stories that we tell,

the movies that come out

these days.

I mean,

really,

the only remaining

hero narrative

in our culture

is the narrative

of the person

who has the courage

to be themselves

no matter what.

You know,

that's the hero story

that we like to tell.

I mean,

virtually every movie

that I watched

with my kids

over Thanksgiving

was that story.

Just swap out

different animals

or creatures,

but that's essentially

the story that was being told

over and over and over.

And so one of the worst crimes

that you can possibly commit

in our culture

is to question

or challenge

someone else's choices.

That is the unpardonable sin

in our culture

is to challenge

or question

or push back

somebody else's

lifestyle choices.

You just don't do it.

There was a Barna study

that came out

where they made this statement

and they wanted people

to agree or disagree.

And here's the statement.

People should not criticize

someone else's

lifestyle choices.

Eighty-nine percent

of U.S. adults

agreed with that.

Right?

So the overwhelming

majority of people

would agree with that statement.

You should not ever

criticize other people's

lifestyle choices.

That's not surprising.

What may be a little

more surprising

is that 76%

of Christians

agreed with that.

Right?

So the vast majority

of people,

both secular

and Christian,

agree with that statement.

And so this sentiment

that love means,

you know,

if you really love someone,

you should affirm them

exactly as they are,

that's how the thinking goes.

That's what love

looks like in our culture.

And so what we need to see

is that when you look

at 1 Peter 4

and when you compare

the two,

you realize that we are

dealing with two

completely opposite

definitions of love.

They're two

diametrically opposed

ways of defining love

and they coexist.

Right?

The culture of authenticity

says,

this is who I am

and if you truly love me,

then you will affirm

and accept me

exactly as I am.

That's what love means.

1 Peter,

by contrast,

says,

this is who I am

and if you truly love me,

you will use your gifts

of grace

to speak into my life,

to challenge me,

to expose sin,

to exhort me,

to encourage me

so that I can grow

and transform

and mature

and become more

like Jesus.

You see,

they could not be

more opposite

one another.

And so someone,

you know,

I know you might be

hearing this

and thinking,

what's the big deal?

Well,

the thing is,

as a result,

the church

is deeply confused

over what it means

to love people well.

I think right here

in our church,

there's a lot of confusion.

I think there are

a lot of people

who really want

to be loving,

but I think that

we're very confused

as to what that

actually looks like

on the ground.

So you have someone

making decisions

and,

I don't know,

they're making decisions

that are hurting

their relationship

with God

and hurting

their relationships

with other people

and maybe even

hurting themselves.

That's essentially

what sin is.

It's doing things

that hurt those relationships.

Right?

And they're making

these decisions

and,

you know,

you see this

from time to time

where there'll be

somebody making

these decisions

and they're literally

surrounded by Christians.

They're surrounded

by Christians.

You know,

they're in small groups

and,

you know,

and all of the people

around them

are concerned.

And all of those people

are talking to one another

about how concerned

they are,

but nobody dares

say anything

to the person

in question.

And so,

and then,

you know,

and you say,

well,

you know,

don't you think

you should say something

if you're so concerned?

Shouldn't you maybe

sit down

and have a conversation

and people say,

well,

you know,

I just really think

what they need is,

I just want to be

supportive right now.

Well,

I just don't know

if it's my place.

You know,

I just think

that they need to know

that they're loved

no matter what.

And on it goes.

And,

and I think that

all of this reflects

a deep confusion

about what love

actually looks like.

It reflects actually

the culture of authenticity.

Loving someone,

supporting them

means never questioning them.

So someone says,

okay,

well,

okay,

I get that,

but what's the big deal?

And maybe you're here

and you're listening

and you're not really sure

if you buy the whole

grace,

Jesus,

gospel thing.

And you say,

well,

if I'm not a Christian,

then what does it matter?

And I would say,

even if you don't buy

all of that,

it still doesn't work.

There's still a serious flaw

with this way

of thinking about relationships.

And here's the flaw.

Here's the problem

with the culture of authenticity.

When you say,

this is who I am,

you must affirm

and accept me

exactly as I am.

When that's what you say

to people,

what you really have

is openness

without vulnerability.

You have openness

without vulnerability.

And that makes

real relationships

completely impossible.

Because you're being open,

you're saying,

this is who I am,

I'm being totally honest

about who I am.

But you're not allowing

that person

to have any meaningful

impact

on your life.

And that's the

vulnerability piece.

And if you're open

and yet you're not vulnerable,

it's not openness

that makes relationships

possible,

real relationships,

it's vulnerability.

Because vulnerability

is the core

of intimacy.

And so you can be open,

but if you're not vulnerable,

there's no chance

for intimacy.

And so it may feel

like you're intimate,

but if there's no possibility

that anybody can actually

impact you

or change you,

then there's really

no intimacy.

You're really not

asking for a friend,

you're asking for a yes man,

you're asking for somebody

to come along

and rubber stamp

your life.

And so instead of

building a relationship

on intimacy,

you're actually building

it on an ultimatum.

And ultimatums

really aren't good

for relationships.

It doesn't work.

Right?

So I think

this is one reason

why so many people

these days,

especially in a place

like D.C.

where this way of thinking

is so prevalent,

there's a lot of loneliness

out there.

A lot of people

with a lot of friends

who are still lonely.

And I think part of it

is because we like

the idea of openness,

but we don't like

the idea of vulnerability.

And so we're alone.

There's no intimacy there.

And this attitude,

by the way,

not only makes

relationships

with other people

impossible,

but if you come to God

and you say,

well, I believe that God

is a God of love,

and I believe that

if God is truly loving,

then God should accept me

and affirm me

exactly as I am.

You're not going to have

a relationship

with any God

other than the God

of your own imagination.

It makes a relationship

with God utterly impossible.

So the gospel offers us

a better way,

and that's what we're going

to spend the rest

of our time looking at.

How to be faithful

as stewards of grace,

and that begins

with understanding

the gospel.

It begins with,

first thing we have to do

to be stewards of grace

is to recognize

that we need grace.

Right?

So before I pour grace

into the lives of others,

I need it myself.

By the way,

every week,

this is why

when we come up

for communion,

we come up

and say Dan

is celebrating communion.

The first thing Dan does

after he sits everybody down

is he takes a bite

of the bread himself,

and then he takes

a drink from the cup,

and then he'll give me,

if I'm helping,

assisting with distribution,

he will give me

the bread and the wine,

and then we give it

to the chalice bearers,

and then we come

and we begin to give it

to all of you.

Why?

It's because we need

to receive before we can give.

That's what that's meant

to model.

We're only able to give

what we've received.

And so the first thing

we need to do

is to recognize

that we need grace.

You know,

Jesus said in the Gospels,

those who are well

have no need

for a physician.

I came to call

not the righteous,

but sinners.

So in order to receive

God's grace,

you have to recognize

that you need it.

You have to ask for it.

God's grace,

which means,

first of all,

admitting that we're

hopelessly addicted

to self and idols,

that we are powerless

over sin in our lives.

It means coming to Jesus

and admitting that we need

the free grace

that he offers

to become free and whole.

And then it means

turning our will

and our lives over to him,

saying,

please take this,

take me,

and change me,

transform me.

And you know,

that's what happens.

It's essentially giving Jesus

a blank check

to the rest of your life

and saying,

here's a blank check.

Whatever you call me to do

from this point forward,

I will do it.

I have no idea

what that's going to be,

but I'm saying yes now.

So whatever it is

that comes down the road,

I say yes.

That's what it means.

And you know that Jesus

is going to then

begin to work in your life

to change and to transform you,

using other people

to do that.

But we have to receive

God's grace.

And then once that happens,

then we have to recognize

the purpose of grace

to begin with.

That ultimately,

this is not about us.

And Peter makes this

abundantly clear.

Who's it about?

Well, he says,

in order that in everything,

God might be glorified

through Jesus.

To him belong glory

and dominion

forever and ever.

Amen.

So that's why he's saying

faithful stewards of grace,

you know,

when you speak,

speak oracles of God.

When you serve,

serve with the strength

that God provides.

Lest you ever,

for a moment,

forget and think

that it's about you.

Because in fact,

it's not.

You know,

the essence of sin

is essentially

that we're all addicted

to self.

We want it to be about us.

We want it to be about us.

We're kind of self-aholics,

you know.

That's our addiction.

And Peter says,

no,

it's not about you.

And so when you do

bear fruit

and when you are

stewarding grace

and you see other people

grow as a result,

don't take credit.

Recognize that it's God

who provides grace.

That we're merely

the stewards.

Right?

So it's not about you.

Recognize the purpose

is to glorify God.

So the first couple of things,

to be stewards of grace,

we recognize

that we need grace.

We recognize

the purpose of grace

to glorify God.

Number three,

recognize and use

your own gifts of grace.

recognize and use

your gifts.

I don't know

what they are.

But you can discover

what they are.

You know,

there are lots of

inventories out there

that you can take

to discern your spiritual gifts.

We did one a year ago

when we had a retreat

on this topic

for this very reason.

But by far,

a better way

is to sit down

with people,

Christian brothers and sisters

who know you,

and to begin to ask them

to prayerfully help you

discern what your gifts are.

You know,

where do you bear fruit?

Where,

when you're doing

your thing,

where do you see fruit

and growth

and flourishing happen?

Where do your

natural inclinations

meet fruitfulness

when you're being

faithful to Jesus?

And prayerfully

discern what those are.

And then,

once you begin

to know them,

use them.

That's the key.

You have to use them.

They're meant to be used

for the life of the church.

Sometimes,

using your gifts,

sometimes that means

that you're going to get

to serve people

and take them food

and encourage them

and pray for them

to heal

and pat them on the back

and help them get up

and say it's going to be okay

and dust them off

and help them down the road.

Sometimes, though,

it's going to mean

having hard conversations.

Sometimes,

using your gifts

and being a faithful

steward of grace

means that you have

to sit down

and you have to speak

prophetically

into somebody's life.

You have to exhort them

in things that they

don't want to hear.

You have to challenge

and question

and nobody enjoys

those conversations.

But I just want to say

this as strongly as I can.

Don't avoid

hard conversations.

If we are a church

that avoids hard conversations,

we will not be

stewarding grace.

Our growth will be stunted.

I'll give a big caveat.

I can't believe

I'm quoting Tim Ferriss,

but here it goes.

Sort of a self-styled guru.

Somebody described him

the Tony Robbins

for people under 45

and I guess

that's probably true.

He says,

a person's success in life

can usually be measured

by the number

of uncomfortable conversations

he or she is willing to have.

That's a pretty bold statement

because I think most of us

avoid hard conversations.

We just put them off,

put them off,

put them off,

put them off,

and avoid them altogether.

And he says,

a person's success

hinges largely

on their willingness

to do that.

I think 1 Peter 4

would amend that slightly

to say the sincerity

of a person's love

is measured largely

by their willingness

to have hard conversations.

You know,

Proverbs 27.6,

I love it.

It says,

faithful are the wounds

of a friend,

profuse are the kisses

of an enemy.

And that is absolutely

brilliant wisdom.

Faithful are the wounds

of a friend.

You know,

faithful friends

are friends

who are willing

to say things

that might wound you

or offend you

or hurt you.

That's what love

looks like, right?

So faithful friends

might say,

I notice that when we go out,

every time we go out,

you know,

we all have a couple of drinks

and then you just

don't ever seem to stop.

You have three,

four, five,

and I never,

I don't know what happens

to you after that.

We all go home,

but you always kind of stay out.

What's going on?

Faithful friends say,

you know,

ever since you've been

dating that person,

you've just started to change

and you're more distant

and I'm just,

you know,

I'm not seeing you around as much

and what's going on?

You know,

that's a faithful friend

is somebody who's willing

to sit down and say,

you know,

I'm not sure this decision

is having the best influence

on your family.

You're on the road a lot.

You and your wife

seem really distant.

Do you guys get any time together?

I'm concerned.

Can we talk about it?

Notice that that

it's not saying,

I'm condemning your choices.

It's not coming at somebody

with an attitude of condemnation.

Remember,

the overarching ethic

is one of love.

Right?

But what this does look like

is the posture

that you should have

is not condemnation,

but it is curiosity.

I'm curious.

Tell me more.

Help me understand

this decision

because there are a lot of people

that are concerned

about this decision.

Can you help me understand

your thinking?

How does this decision

resonate with your relationship

with Jesus?

Do you feel like

your relationship with Jesus

is stronger

as a result of this?

If not,

then why are you doing it?

That's curiosity.

It's just,

help me understand.

Let me in.

Do we have vulnerability or not?

That's what it looks like.

And by the way,

you're also being curious

because,

remember,

it's not about you.

It's about how God

might use this relationship.

It's how God

has designed us

to be faithful stewards

of grace.

And so,

if God's grace

is trying to break

into this person's life,

you're curious.

How's that going to happen?

What is God doing

in you right now?

Can we talk about that?

Faithful are the wounds

of a friend.

This is going to hurt,

but it's because I love you

and because God's grace

is trying to be poured

into your life.

What's that look like?

Profuse are the kisses

of an enemy.

If all someone does

is affirm you

and build you up

and no matter what,

I just want you to be happy

and you do what you think

is best

and you're going to make

great decisions

and I'm not,

that's not really a friend,

right?

Because that's not

actually loving you.

If I'm just affirming,

affirming,

affirming,

affirming,

it's not really about you,

I'm loving me

because I don't want

to have to stress about it,

I don't want to have

to think about it,

I don't want to lose sleep

over it,

I've got too much

going on in my life,

I don't have the time

and energy to really

get into this with you.

So hey,

just whatever makes you happy,

I've got this thing

over here.

That's not friendship.

Profuse are the kisses

of an enemy.

By the way,

I said earlier,

I think there's a connection

with hospitality.

I think there's no coincidence

here that Peter says

show hospitality

and then steward

your spiritual gifts,

which means sometimes,

many times,

having hard conversations

like this.

Because these kinds

of conversations

should always take place

in the context

of hospitality,

right?

If you're going to have

a conversation like this

with somebody,

it should be in your living room,

you know,

with some food

that you've prepared,

right?

That's where this is

meant to happen,

that's where loving

relationships play out.

So you need to

recognize your gifts

and use them,

even if it means

doing uncomfortable things,

because you actually

love your brothers

and sisters.

And then lastly,

number four,

recognize grace

when it comes to you.

Right?

So don't just be willing

to have the hard conversations,

receive them

when they come

into your life.

You know,

sometimes grace comes

in the form

of gentle encouragement,

praise God,

wonderful times.

But other times,

it comes in the form

of a hard conversation,

somebody being willing

to challenge you.

And you know,

over the years,

I've seen this play out

again and again and again.

Somebody will come

into our community

and they make friends

and they're great

and for maybe several years,

they're active

and involved

and every time you ask them

how's it going,

they say,

oh, everything's great,

totally fine.

I'm totally fine,

everything's great

and they're like a star.

You know,

they just got it all together.

And then something happens,

crisis,

bottom drops out

and all of a sudden,

their sin gets exposed,

their brokenness gets exposed,

the need gets exposed,

the fact that they don't

have it all together

and they're actually

kind of a mess,

all that comes out

and maybe a few people

learn about it,

right?

And in that moment,

when you're sitting there

and all of a sudden,

you're just,

your crap is just out there,

every single human being

on the planet

wants to run and hide.

Ever since Genesis chapter 3,

Genesis 3 · chapter mention

that's what human beings

have been doing.

The moment we get caught,

the moment God comes along

and says,

what have you been doing?

We run and we hide,

right?

That's human nature.

And so,

many people,

when they finally get exposed,

will do just that

and they'll go

and they'll start

to fade away.

They come less

and less and less.

They start kind of

dropping out of their small group.

Their kind of friends

see them less

or they'll start being

more selective

about who they talk to

and they'll start

cutting some people out

and talking to other people.

And then eventually,

people say,

you know,

I just think it's time

for a fresh start.

I think I just need

to go to another church

and I just need a fresh start.

So,

time in my life

where I'm just looking,

I just need a change,

you know?

And,

you know,

I mean,

call me cynical

and I am.

I'm a cynic

and it's something

I need to repent of.

But,

so I'll admit that.

But a lot of times

when I hear that,

I think,

what you're really saying

is you want to go

to a place

where people don't know you

so you can continue

to try to convince people

that you've got it

all together.

You can buy

a few more years

of hiding behind that facade.

So,

so,

so some people do leave,

you know?

And that's okay

because,

again,

it's not about us.

It's about God

working His grace

in His way.

So,

they still belong to God,

right?

So,

it doesn't depend on us.

But I will tell you

that sometimes,

miraculously,

people stay.

They stay.

They get exposed

and all their crap

is out there

and people,

you know,

people start to surround them

and start to step

into their life

and they want to run

but they say,

no,

I'm just going to stay.

And it's like staying

on the operating table.

And God is this surgeon

and He's starting to go to work

and they're freaking out

and they're scared

but then they begin

to look around

and they begin to realize.

Look at this community

that God

in His infinite wisdom

has surrounded me with.

Well,

here's a person

who can pray for me to heal

and here's a person

who has faith

beyond anything

that I've ever seen

and here's a person

who's going to show up

late at night

to do my laundry

to make sure I have

something to wear to work

and here's somebody

who's going to bring me food

and here's somebody

who's going to organize

a prayer chain

so that people are praying for me

around the clock

and here's somebody

who can actually counsel me

and help me work through this

and here's somebody

who's going to speak

and teach God's Word

in a whole new way

and all of a sudden

you begin to realize

God actually knows

what He's doing.

He's on to something

because all that time

that it was great

and you were coming

and everything was fine

and you're, you know,

coming to church every Sunday

and leading small groups

and everything's great,

all that time

your growth

had really plateaued.

You know,

growth in the Christian life

isn't just like this.

At least in my life

you kind of go along,

go along, go along

and it's in those crisis moments,

right?

The Bible calls time,

you know,

not chronos time

but kairos time.

It's this divinely appointed moment

where the bottom drops out of your life

and you stay on the surgeon's table

and you stay under the knife

and you trust the community around you.

Those are the times that you grow.

Those are the times that you grow.

So every now and then people stay

and they grow.

I can tell you from my own life

that my growth has happened

not when I was cruising along,

not when people were encouraging me

or complimenting me

or telling me ways that, you know,

things that I want to hear.

Almost exclusively,

whatever growth I've experienced in my life,

I've experienced when people have called me out,

called me to the mat,

challenged me,

or they've been there

when something got exposed in my life

that I needed to deal with.

That's when it happens.

So this is what it means

to be stewards of grace.

It means loving each other

and serving each other with our gifts

as an interdependent community.

And we do this all

because Jesus was willing to love us

and serve us

by giving us

the ultimate gift of his own life,

which is what makes all of this possible.

Heavenly Father,