Loving Your Enemies

I want to spend a few minutes this morning thinking together about the gospel reading

that we just heard.

Because in a world of brutal invasions abroad and political strife here at home and even

profound divisions that exist within the church, if there is any section of the Bible that

wants to make us throw up our hands and say, this is impossible, it might be this morning's

passage where Jesus tells us to turn the other cheek and to love our enemies.

And it's not that it simply sounds impossible.

I think perhaps worse, it may sound a little bit naive.

It sounds like the kind of thing a person who is portrayed in movies like God's Spell

or The Last Temptation of Christ might say, a kind of trippy, confused Francis of Assisi

figure who's wandering through fields of wildflowers offering these kind of vague platitudes that

don't actually really apply to real life.

Here's the thing, however.

We have to ask ourselves, if Jesus' teaching in this passage is ill-suited to the real world,

what should guide us when dealing with people who are opposed to us or who hurt us or who

are in some way opposed to our well-being?

If we are being honest, it would seem much more reasonable to live by an eye for an eye

and a tooth for a tooth.

And in fact, it is worth pointing out that even though Jesus is going to introduce an alternative,

he's not actually critiquing an eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth per se, because we should

remember that the moral code behind an eye for an eye was actually a big improvement on what preceded it.

Moses taught the ethic of an eye for an eye to a people who had been enslaved in Egypt

where they had experienced harsh retribution for even the smallest of infractions.

And it is reasonable to expect that having escaped Egypt for the wilderness, the children of Israel

just imitated their captors.

And so Moses taught them a way to limit escalating violence.

If they knock out your tooth, Moses said, you don't burn their house down,

you limit yourself to that person losing their tooth.

In other words, Moses taught what was effectively a tribal culture, the virtue of a proportional response.

So let's pause for a moment and let's acknowledge the comparative good of an eye for an eye.

It actually moved human culture forward.

However, Jesus knows that there is an inherent problem that remains because with such a code,

the cycles of conflict just continue.

Perhaps those cycles are more self-contained, perhaps things escalate less.

But what was it Gandhi said?

An eye for an eye until the whole world is blind.

I recently read about a mom with two young children who were playing in the other room while she was fixing dinner.

One was a five-year-old little boy.

The other was a nine-year-old baby.

And all of a sudden, the mom hears this terrible scream.

She runs in.

She finds the five-year-old crying.

She says, what's going on?

The five-year-old says, the baby pulled my hair and it hurts.

Made me mad.

And the mom said, don't get mad.

The baby doesn't know how much it hurts.

A couple minutes later, there's a second scream and the mom runs back in the other room.

What happened this time?

She said, the five-year-old says, now the baby knows.

We are not unlike that five-year-old.

In an eye for an eye world, when we get hurt, we want to ensure the other person feels some hurt in return.

Sometimes we let them know outwardly and we respond in kind.

Sometimes we perhaps find more passive ways to let them know, such as withholding certain goods for a period of time.

So Jesus' words, don't resist the one who's evil.

Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

In certain respects, it breaks that cycle.

It disrupts the never-ending back and forth wheel of retribution.

However, it also raises many questions as to what it would mean to practically apply this teaching.

So in order to grapple with this, I would like for us to do a little internal mental exercise.

I'd like you to bring to mind, for just a moment, somebody who represents an enemy in your life.

Okay?

Now, for some of us, somebody immediately springs to mind, right?

Perhaps it's someone at work or school who is a bully or someone from the past who has hurt us in some intentional way

or betrayed us or worked against our best interests.

For some of us, the person who comes to mind doesn't wear an official label enemy, right?

But it's someone in our life who we don't like very much or who bothers us in a certain way.

Or maybe they've hurt us unintentionally or unknowingly in ways that we might even be embarrassed to admit.

The writer Anne Lamott describes herself as a San Francisco hippie who found Jesus.

And in one of her books, she wrote about one particular incident in which she tried to love her enemy.

And she writes,

I had an enemy for a long time, the parent of one of the children in my son Sam's class.

She seemed so driven and unaware that it might have astounded her to learn that we were enemies.

But I can tell you that it's true.

I knew she was divorced and maybe lonely, but she also had mean eyes.

In the early weeks of first grade, she looked at me and my dreadlocks like I was a Rastafarian draft dodger

and then over time as if I were a dazed and confused space traveler.

It's true that I've had certain amounts of trouble adjusting since my son Sam started school two years ago.

There's too much to remember, too much to do.

But Sam's first grade teacher was so warm and forgiving that I just didn't trouble my pretty head about schedules,

homework, spelling lists, and other sundry unpleasantries.

However, there were all these other mothers who were always baking little holiday-themed treats for the class

and who also seemed to read all the papers the school sent home, which I think is actually a little show-offy.

Also, it gives them an unfair advantage.

They knew, for instance, from the first day of school last year that Wednesdays were shorter school days,

and they flaunted it, picking up their kids at just the right time, week after week.

I somehow managed to make it into October without figuring out this one scheduling peccadillo.

Finally, though, one Wednesday, I stopped by Sam's classroom and found him once again drawing with his teacher.

The teacher said gently, school gets out an hour early on Wednesdays.

Ah, I said, and smoked my own princess forehead.

Didn't you get the papers the school mailed to you this summer?

Sam sat there drawing with a grim stare.

Somehow, my enemy found out about this.

She showed up two days later all bundled up in a down jacket because it was cold

and she was driving the kids on a field trip.

Now, wearing a down jacket is not a crime against nature or me.

The crime is that below the down jacket, she was wearing latex bicycle shorts.

She wears latex bicycle shorts nearly every day.

And I will tell you why.

Because she can.

She weighs one pound.

She has gone to the gym almost every day since her divorce

and she does not have an ounce of fat on her live, aggressive body.

I completely hate that in a person.

I consider it an act of aggression against the rest of us mothers

who forgot to start working out after we had our kids.

The day of the field trip, she said to me,

sweet as some flight attendant,

I just want you to know that if you have any other questions

about how the classroom works,

I'd really love to be there for you.

I smiled back at her.

I thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them aloud

because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of a cat dish.

But eventually, it drove me to my knees and I prayed about it.

I prayed because my son loves her son and my son is so kind

that it makes me want to be a better person.

A person who does not hate someone just because she wears latex bicycle shorts.

I prayed for a miracle.

I wrote her name down on a slip of paper

and I put it in a small box where I keep those things I'm especially praying for

and I said to God, here.

Now, you and I may not have particular challenges

with condescending people who wear latex bicycle shorts.

But we all have those people in our lives

that when we examine our hearts,

we struggle to will good things for.

These are people we find it hard to pray for even

because simply to pray for someone is one profound way

that we can seek another person's good.

And so, when we think about that person

and find ourselves struggling to want good things for them,

we might find ourselves kind of wilting

under the challenge of Jesus' words in this passage.

For some of us, it can almost feel like Jesus is dispensing with one law

to give us a new and harder law to follow in its place.

So Jesus says, it used to be an eye for an eye,

but now don't even resist an evil person.

The law of an eye for an eye is now being replaced by

the law of non-resistance.

No matter what this new law says,

if somebody does something bad to you,

you are simply to take it.

There have been Christians who have read it in this way,

and much damage has resulted as an effect.

Reading these verses as a new law has been used

to tell people who are in abusive relationships

or victims of domestic violence to remain in that situation,

or to someone who is being bullied or mistreated

to not protect themselves or to not seek justice.

But to interpret this passage in such a way

can only result from a profound misunderstanding

of the way that Jesus teaches.

As modern Westerners, the way that we think about teaching

is primarily focused on content.

We want to transfer certain content from the teacher's mind

into the minds of his or her students.

And in that model of teaching, you'll want to take notes

or even record the lectures just to make sure

that you haven't missed any of that content.

But the aim of the popular teacher in Jesus' time

was not only to impart information,

it was to make significant change in the lives of the hearers.

In Jesus' time, religious teachers taught in a way

that aimed to interrupt the life flow of the hearer,

to arrest their attention, to make an impression,

such that they would walk away thinking about this

and wrestling with it, struggling with it,

all without having written down a single note.

Let me give you a quick example.

Luke 14.

In Luke 14, Jesus is having Sunday dinner

in the house of a religious leader.

And in that story, Jesus notes that the host

had invited only his relatives and well-to-do neighbors.

And he remarks, when you have people in for a meal,

don't invite your relatives, friends, and wealthy neighbors

who will only pay you back by having you over.

Instead, when you have a feast,

invite the poor, the lame, and the blind

who cannot pay you back,

and you will be paid back

when the just are raised from the dead.

Right? You remember that story?

So, one way of understanding

what Jesus is teaching here

is that when you have people over for a meal,

don't invite your friends

or your neighbors or your relatives.

Now, depending on your relatives,

this might become your favorite verse in the Bible.

But this would be a mistaken interpretation.

We appropriately recognize that Jesus

is not forbidding us to take our mothers out

for brunch on Mother's Day.

Or to have our aunts or uncles

or our financially comfortable neighbors

over for dinner.

Jesus is teaching in such a way

as to get at a heart issue here.

He is trying to address the prevailing practice

of neglecting those in real need

while we share what we have

only with those who will reciprocate

by doing something for us.

And so, with our passage this morning,

Jesus is not making a new law.

Never resist.

Always turn the other cheek.

Never refuse anyone who asks you for something.

Rather, Jesus is getting at a heart issue

as he is throughout the Sermon on the Mount.

He says, you worship a God

who does not give people what they deserve.

Who causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust.

You worship a God who loves his enemies.

And so, Jesus is saying,

rather than dishing back what you have just received,

look for appropriate ways to be good,

even to those who have not been good to you.

To do this well

will require us

not to blindly follow some law,

but rather put the heart of Jesus' teaching

into practice

in intelligent and thoughtful ways.

If you are in a relationship

with someone who mistreats you,

that person's good is not being served

by allowing them to continue to do that.

This principle

applies to international relations too,

by the way,

but that's another sermon.

On the other hand,

in our various personal relationships,

there may be occasions

in which someone who has been opposed to you

needs something from you,

even though they don't deserve it,

and it would be appropriate to give it to them.

And then the question will be,

do we have the kind of hearts

who can do that?

And then,

how would we develop those kinds of hearts?

Perhaps that's the question

lurking behind this passage,

and I don't want to leave this

in the realm of theory,

so let's just spend these final few moments

thinking about how we might practically

move in the direction

of loving our enemies.

And in particular,

there's two things

that I'd like for us to consider.

First,

it's important to notice

that Jesus does not start

the Sermon on the Mount

by telling us to love our enemies.

This part of the sermon

only comes

after he has said

a lot of other things already.

And if you're so inclined,

go home and read

the entire Sermon on the Mount

in Matthew chapters 5 through 7,

Matthew 5 · chapter mention

and notice

how the Sermon on the Mount

is not just this hodgepodge

collection of sayings,

it is rather a sermon

with a logic

and a strategy

to it.

The arguments

and the situations

that Jesus discusses

throughout the sermon

are actually

stages

in a progression

towards a life

that is fully at home

in God's kingdom.

So we should take account

of what Jesus has said

prior to these words

about loving our enemies,

which includes instructions

that lay the groundwork

for putting this passage

into action.

So,

take,

for example,

anger.

The ability to love others

who oppose us

presumes

that we are

aiming to put into practice

Jesus' words

only a few

verses

before this passage

about not being

controlled by anger.

An enemy-like

relationship

is sometimes,

although certainly

not always,

preceded by anger

that we have

nursed

and carried around

with us.

Now,

understand,

this is not to say

that anger in itself

always,

always,

is always

or necessarily

wrong.

In its simplest form,

anger is a spontaneous

response

to our wills

being obstructed,

to not getting

what we want.

Anger is a feeling

that seizes us,

a kind of primal

alert system

whenever we encounter

resistance.

The question is

whether,

after that initial response,

we have learned

to bring anger

under the control

of the Holy Spirit.

Have we taken note

of those instances

where we attempted

to give into

or to hold onto anger

and have we sought

to develop

practical strategies

to overcome it?

A book that I often

recommend to folks

that I have benefited from

and millions have

over the centuries

is An Introduction

to the Devout Life

by Francis de Sales

who was the Bishop

of Geneva

in the late 1500s

and a spiritual director

to many lay people.

And the book

is a collection

of letters

he wrote

to one of his directees.

One of his letters

on controlling anger

is just as relevant today

as it was

when he wrote it

400 years ago.

He writes,

it is better

to attempt

to find ways

to live without anger

than to pretend

to make a moderate

discrete use of it.

When we find ourselves

surprised into anger

through our own

imperfections

and frailty,

it is better

to drive it away quickly

than to start

a conversation with it.

Later, he writes,

when your mind

is tranquil

and without any cause

for anger,

build up a stock

of meekness

and mildness.

Speak all your words

and do all your actions

whether little or great

in the mildest way

that you can.

There's an enormous amount

of spiritual

and psychological

insight here.

Each of us will,

of course,

discover other strategies

for dealing with anger

in ways that are appropriate,

but we will find

that as we become

more habitually free

of anger,

there is more room

in our hearts

to love.

The second point

I want us to consider

about loving our enemies

is the challenge

of praying for them.

Because to pray for them

is not something

we do only after

we have figured out

how to love them,

but prayer is in fact

a means by which

we move towards love.

Prayer is the context

in which God can work

in our hearts

and begin to do things

in us

that we are deeply aware

we cannot do

for ourselves,

even if it takes

a long time.

Recently,

I was listening

to a lecture

by Father Nicanor

Austriaco,

a wonderful Dominican

priest who also teaches

at Providence College,

and in this lecture,

he was talking

to students at Harvard

about how they might

experience the good life.

And he was talking

about how the good life

is one in which

we are increasingly

free to love others,

even those who

are hard to love.

Towards the end

of his talk,

he told the Harvard

students about a confession

he had recently heard

from a young woman.

He didn't know

who the young woman was.

All he heard

was her voice

coming from the other

side of the screen

in the confessional booth.

She had come to him

because that morning

in church,

she had heard

the passage

that we just heard

this morning,

read about how

to treat your enemies.

She told Father Austriaco

that she was having

trouble forgiving

one of her enemies,

and he asked her,

who is this enemy?

And she said,

it was a family member

who did bad things

to me for many years.

She said,

is there something

wrong with me

that I can't forgive him?

And the priest said,

absolutely not.

It is entirely natural

for you to be wounded

and angry

and want to lash out.

He said,

Jesus calls you

to forgive your enemy,

but he's not demanding

that you do it

this instant.

It takes time

to get there.

So he said

to this young woman,

here's what I want you

to do.

For the next

10 years,

I want you to pray

just for family members

who do bad things

to other family members.

And then,

he said,

for the next 10 years

after that,

I want you to pray

for family members

who do the things

that were done to you.

And then,

he said,

after those 20 years,

you might begin

to pray specifically

for the family member

who treated you this way.

the priest

said that the young woman

was encouraged by this

and it gave her

a sense of hope.

But then,

right before she could leave,

the priest said,

hold on,

there's one more thing

you can do as well.

He said,

you can also pray

and ask Jesus

for the grace

to forgive this family member

right now.

And if that grace

is given,

he said,

you will find it

in your heart

to forgive him.

And the young woman

said,

really?

And the priest

said,

yes.

He said,

it doesn't mean

it will happen

right this instant,

but he said,

it does mean

that it is possible

for God

to do

supernatural

things

in our lives.

And that includes

enabling us

to love

in ways

that go beyond

our own

human capacity.

what Jesus

teaches us

in this morning's

passage

is not

a new

law

that aims

to weigh us

down

by our inability

to fulfill it.

Rather,

Jesus offers us

an invitation

into the very

heart

of God's

own life

with a freedom

to love

given to us

by grace.

Today is the

fourth Sunday

of Easter,

a season

in the church

calendar

in which we

continue to

celebrate the

resurrection

of Jesus

from the dead.

But let's

remember that

Jesus'

resurrection

came after

a journey.

It came

after Jesus'

own

long

journey

to Jerusalem

where he

ultimately

died on a

cross for his

enemies and

forgave those

who mistreated

him and

hated him.

God's

love.

We also

can experience

resurrection

in our own

lives.

It is

possible

for us

to experience

a deeper

capacity

to forgive

and a

wider

freedom

to love.

But it

requires

that we

go on a

journey

to get

there.

And the

question we

each have to

ask is,

what is the

journey that

Jesus is

inviting me

to go on?