Becoming Relationship Poor So Others Can Become Relationship Rich

I was actually thinking of the concept of planting versus established.

Me and trees have this kind of battle we've been doing for the last three years of like,

I am going to plant trees that live, and then they say, no, we will die.

And I have this pine tree that I planted at the beginning of the year.

I planted four of them.

One of them, it's planted, right?

It's planted.

But it is not established.

And I feel like it's dying from the bottom up.

So just the very top has got this green part, and then all the rest is brown.

And I don't think that one's going to make it.

But you can plant something without it being established.

And so this church is planted, but is it established?

Not quite yet.

We're working on that, right?

And we're all doing our part.

So I want to speak into that a little bit today.

And the message that I want to preach today is becoming relationship poor so that others can become relationship rich.

Okay?

Becoming relationship poor so others can become relationship rich.

Now, in this church plant, we got this group of people together that the Lord put together.

And we are building relationships and trying to get to know one another and build family together.

Some of those are existing stronger relationships.

Some aren't as much.

And you got the mix of both.

And then we have other relationships elsewhere.

And so there's all kinds of dynamics in that.

But some of the relational pressing into one another, sometimes it can be difficult, right?

Sometimes it can start off good.

And then it's like, okay, there's a little bit of wonkiness, right?

As you get into the nitty-gritty of stuff.

And that's, first of all, that's normal, right?

That's...

What relationship doesn't have a little wonkiness at some point in time?

Or a little difficulty at some time?

That is the nature of relationships.

But I think there's ways that we can promote a certain level of unity and oneness and depth.

And then there are ways that we can kind of shoot ourselves in the foot with that.

And so I was having a conversation with a couple a few weeks ago, a month ago.

And we were talking about what is required to build healthy church culture.

And ended up talking about kind of this topic.

I had been reading in 1 Corinthians and 2 Corinthians.

And so some of these themes were...

I was getting language for them.

These are themes that we've been talking about for years.

But I felt like some verses gave me better language for some of them.

So I'm going to jump into that.

Basically, I'm mostly going to be in 2 Corinthians in this whole message.

We'll bounce around a little bit out of that.

But mostly in 2 Corinthians.

But I'm going to actually start in 1 Corinthians.

To give you a little backdrop before we get into 2 Corinthians.

And I'm going to start in 1 Corinthians chapter 12, 21 to 27.

1 Corinthians 12 · chapter mention

1 Corinthians 12, 21 to 27 is talking about the necessity of all the parts of the body.

And it says, verse 21,

On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable.

On those parts of the body that we think less honorable, we bestow the greater honor.

And our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require.

But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it,

that there may be no division in the body,

but that the members may have the same care for one another.

If one member suffers, all suffer together.

If one member is honored, all rejoice together.

Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.

But, okay.

Side note, by the way, I know I told this to some of you,

but just so you know, you guys deciding to go over to Bellicose to support the church,

going through the grieving process with the loss of Caspian Vaughn,

that meant a lot to a lot of people.

So, good move on that one.

Good job.

That was, that blessed.

I heard from a number of people that they were really appreciative

that you guys all came over there and just mourned with them and comforted them.

So, I just love that.

And that's, to me, just an example of when one part suffers, we all suffer, you know.

But he says the members, he says the reason that he's thinking about all this stuff

is so that the members may have the same care for one another.

And he starts that off by saying, hey, the eye can't say to the hand, I have no need of you,

nor the head to the feet, I have no need of you.

And so, in a real direct sense, we would all say, well, no one would ever say that, right?

I would never like literally say, hey, listen, I have no need of you, you know.

We wouldn't say it that outright, but we can actually live in such a way where we

kind of live like that, you know.

We might not say it, like, hey, I have no need of you.

I'm fine on my own.

But we can live in a way that I have these certain people that are my go-tos.

I got my people where these are the people if I need to kind of open up, if I need to

just relax, if I need to just get some quality time or some deep time, or if we're going to

do something impactful together, those are my people.

But I don't really need you for that because I have that with other people.

So especially when you have new missional community starting and a new church starting,

you can give off that impression that, hey, we're doing this because, you know, that's

what we're supposed to do, right?

You know, I'm supposed to be with you.

I'm in your missional community.

I'm with this church.

But, I mean, I don't really need you because I got these people that are my people.

I got these people where I get my life from.

And so I do this with you, but I don't really need you for that.

And what ends up happening is some people don't get the same care.

And his concern here is that the members may have the same care for one another.

Sometimes we're not able to give the right care to other people because we are too focused

on these people where it's become easy.

Your besties, the kind of people you've developed a relationship, you've already pushed through

the wonkiness and the relational hardship.

These are your people.

You just know you can count on them.

You know, yeah, we've had our thing, but that's kind of in the past.

But since we've been there, done that, it's not going to happen anymore.

So those are my people.

And so you, I don't really want to do that again with you.

I've already did that with a group of people.

And that was a lot of work.

So I'm just going to stick with these group of people.

And I'll kind of, I'll hang around you and I'll do the church thing and I'll fulfill

my religious obligation.

But, you know, I'm not going to go, I don't really need you.

And again, you wouldn't say it, but you say it.

Does that make sense?

Not so much?

You with me?

Okay, good.

You have the same kind of thing when he talks about communion, actually.

In 1 Corinthians 11, chapter before, verse 20, he says,

when you come together, it's not the Lord's supper that you eat.

For in eating, each one goes ahead with his own meal.

One goes hungry and another gets drunk.

And then he says in verse 24 with an exclamation point, what?

What?

Do you not have houses to eat and drink in?

Or do you despise the church of God and humiliate those who have nothing?

What shall I say to you?

Shall I commend you in this?

No, I will not.

Skip in verse 29.

He says, for anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body,

eats and drinks judgment on himself.

And then in verse 33, he says, so then, my brothers, when you come together to eat,

wait for one another.

If anyone's hungry, let them eat at home.

So when you come together, it will not be for judgment.

Essentially, he's saying you can't live church life together in a way that's independent of the body.

You can't just say, well, I'm hungry.

I'm thirsty.

I'm going to eat as much as I want, drink as much as I want.

And then you find out, oh, there's not enough for everybody.

But I don't really care about that.

He's saying, hey, you have to care about that.

And it's one thing to do that with food.

But we could do that relationally, right?

Where you just say, well, I have this relational thing with some people,

but I don't really need it with other people.

And I don't really, I just, I got my thing here going and it's good.

But it's kind of the same thing.

One goes hungry and another gets drunk, right?

One is hungry for relationship.

Another one has plenty of relationship,

but we don't care as much about the people who don't have as close a relationship.

And that can be a problem, right?

Some people might say, even going into this church plant,

they might have said six months ago, I'm good at relationships.

I'm good at all the work that it takes to build that and get close to one another.

I'm good at that.

And my question to you is, are you?

Because if you're only good with some people, then you're not necessarily good at it.

You may have thought maybe that you're good at something because you have it with some people.

But if you're not able to spread that with other people,

you're not as good as you think you are at building relationships.

And some of us, I believe in this church, need to stretch our relational muscles.

Some of us haven't worked out in a while relationally.

We're a little stiff.

We're a little wonky.

And you might say, well, what are you even talking about?

I'm saying, it's like, you're saying we don't do relationships?

I'm saying, no, you do easy relationships maybe.

But what about the ones that are harder?

What about the ones that take more work?

What about the ones you don't have a history with?

What about the ones where you haven't worked through that stuff

and you got to start from scratch with some people that you don't know as well?

Have you worked out the soreness?

Have you worked out the stiffness and said, I'm going to press through that

and get to a place where the relationship is loose in a good sense,

where it's flexible, where it's real?

I think that there's some people who maybe have come into this thinking,

oh, this is going to be easy because I'm good at relationship.

But you can think you're good at relationship

because you have certain people that you're good at it with.

But if you're not good at it with everybody, you're probably not that good at it.

And that's something I want to challenge us with,

to at least just think about.

Ask that question.

How am I with that?

How am I with relationship?

And don't base it on your best friends.

Base it on how it is with the stranger.

Base it on how it is with the person who's new.

Base it on the person who you don't have history with in Christchurch

that you're getting to know.

How are you doing with that?

Is it wonky?

Is it difficult?

And do you give up or do you persevere?

That's the question I want to ask you.

So let's get into our main text though.

2 Corinthians chapter 6 and 2 Corinthians chapter 8.

2 Corinthians 6 · chapter mention 2 Corinthians 8 · chapter mention

So we'll start with the verse in 2 Corinthians chapter 6 verse 10.

2 Corinthians 6:10

There's just this little phrase here

that kind of frames what I'm talking about

and then it gets elaborated more in 2 Corinthians chapter 8.

2 Corinthians 8 · chapter mention

2 Corinthians 6.10 he says,

there's this phrase in there where he says,

we are poor yet making many rich.

We're poor yet making many rich.

Love that phrase.

And then he elaborates on it in 2 Corinthians chapter 8.

2 Corinthians 8 · chapter mention

If you're in there you can move to chapter 8 verse 1.

2 Corinthians chapter 8 verse 1 says,

2 Corinthians 8:1

We want you to know brothers about the grace of God

that has been given among the churches of Macedonia.

For in a severe test of affliction their abundance of joy

and their extreme poverty have overflowed in a wealth of generosity on their part.

For they gave according to their means,

as I can testify,

and beyond their means of their own accord,

begging us earnestly for the favor of taking part in the relief of the saints.

Okay?

And this not as we expected,

but they gave themselves first to the Lord

and then by the will of God to us.

Accordingly we urge Titus that as he had started,

so he should complete among you this act of grace.

But as you excel in everything,

in faith and speech and knowledge and all earnestness,

and in our love for you,

see that you excel in this act of grace also.

So he's talking about this monetary gift they're giving.

These guys were giving above and beyond their means,

and they didn't have a lot,

and yet they were begging earnestly for the favor of taking part in this relief.

Okay?

So then in verse 8 he says,

I say this not as a command,

to see that you excel in this act of grace also,

I say this not as a command,

but to prove by the earnestness of others

that your love also is genuine.

Then in verse 9 he says,

and this is the key verse here,

For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ,

that though he was rich,

yet for your sake he became poor,

so that you by his poverty might become rich.

Okay?

So he's talking about money there,

but then when he talks about the motive for doing that,

he speaks of how Jesus became poor

so that others could become rich.

And he's not talking about money there.

He's not talking about Jesus had a lot of money,

and then he decided to become poor,

and he gave us a lot of money.

Like, that's not what he's saying there.

He's saying, no, this is bigger.

And the specific of giving money,

he then goes bigger and says,

this is what Jesus modeled in a much bigger way.

That this is a picture of the grace of God.

That though Jesus was rich,

yet for your sake he became poor,

so that you by his poverty might become rich.

Okay?

So,

do you do this to other people?

Do you ever become poor so that others become rich?

And I'm not talking about even monetarily,

although you could.

There are things sometimes that we have

that we give up to make other people have more.

Right?

And that's,

Jesus modeled that better than anybody else.

Okay?

Let's look at this in the context of relationships.

Romans 15 verse 7 says,

Romans 15:7

welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you

for the glory of God.

Okay?

So, we just got a picture of how Christ has welcomed us.

So, we need to do the same thing.

How has he welcomed us?

Well, he took on poverty

so that other people could take on being rich.

Are we willing to do that?

That involves sacrifice.

To say,

I will sacrifice what I have

if it means that other people could have more.

Right?

James chapter 2, 15 through 17 says,

James 2 · chapter mention

if a brother or sister is poorly clothed

and lacking in daily food,

and one of you says to them,

go in peace,

be warmed and filled,

without giving them the things needed for the body,

what good is that?

So also by faith,

so also faith by itself,

if it does not have works,

is dead.

Let me reword this

in thinking of it like relationships.

Okay?

If a brother or sister is relationship poor,

lacking in relationship,

and one of you says to them,

go in peace,

I hope you find good relationships.

Without spending and being spent

to give them deep familiar relationships,

what good is that?

So also faith by itself,

if it does not have works,

is dead.

Going to church meetings out of obligation,

with no intention to connect deeply

with the people that are there,

because you already have your people

you do that with,

is one of the greatest ways

to build shallow,

insincere,

off-putting church culture

that no one needs,

no one wants,

no one likes,

and that certainly falls short

of the glory of God.

Okay?

Okay?

We can't just say,

well,

yeah,

I'm supposed to be a part

of this missional community,

or I'm supposed to relate

to these people,

so I'll do that

out of religious obligation,

but really,

if I really want the goods,

if I really want the deep stuff,

if I really want that relational juices,

you know,

that I,

I'm going to go to this person

who's not in my missional community.

I'm going to go to this person

who's not even a part of our church,

and I'm going to get it from them

because I already know

that one works.

Right?

We've got years together.

We've got history together.

And I know if I need the goods,

I can always go to them

to get the goods.

Well,

if you're always supplementing

with that relationship

outside of your missional community

or outside of your church in general,

what you're doing is

making sure that it never happens

in your missional community

and it never happens in your church.

Do you understand

what I'm saying here?

That's a really important thing.

And so you can end up having

this church culture

where you basically do things

out of religious obligation

because it's like,

well,

I'm supposed to be with these people.

This is my church

or this is even more specifically,

this is my smaller part of the church.

This is my missional community.

And so I'm going to spend time with them

because that's what I'm supposed to do.

But really,

I'm not really in it to win it.

My heart's not there.

My heart's actually with these other people.

And when I really need to get comfort

or I really need to get friendship

or I really want to have fun

or I really want to do mission,

I'll deal with them

because I don't really know these people.

And if everybody does that,

then church really is lame.

And God is not glorified

because it's required

that we connect in that deep way.

and new people coming in,

they need to experience that.

You might say,

well, I already have that.

Well, so what?

What about the person

who doesn't have that?

Are you going to be indifferent to them

and just say,

I'm good?

If everybody did that,

then new people

would never experience

the deeper life

and the relationship

that's necessary.

So people might just say,

well, can I,

because I hear this all the time.

I've heard this for years.

Can't I just build

with the people I'm close to?

Right?

I mean, yeah,

I get this whole

missional community thing.

That's cute, Josh.

You got,

you like your church planning stuff

and you like all your ideas

and that's good for you, Josh.

That's cool.

But I mean,

I don't really get into those people.

Can I just build with,

can we just form

like a super missional community

with like all the people

who are my best friends?

I mean,

we would be awesome.

And guess what?

You probably would be.

But then what about

all those new people?

What about the people

who don't have

the relationships you have?

You just going to selfishly

do your thing

in the name of church

while they don't have that?

You can't do that.

We can't do that.

You know,

it can't just be us four no more.

Okay,

what about the people

who aren't close to anyone?

How do they get close

to other people?

By sacrificing

your best relationships

to give the necessary time,

energy,

and heart

to build with other people,

you basically are becoming

relationship poor

so others can become

relationship rich

just like Jesus.

What I'm saying is

there's an element

of sacrifice

of the relationships

you already have

that's required

to build those

same kind of relationships

with people

you don't yet have.

okay?

Because you usually

can't do both.

There's not enough time

in the day,

weeks,

months.

You only have so much

relational capital

that you can build with

and if it's all in this

these relationships

that are existing

you're not going to be able

to do it with other people

but

not to mention

if you wanted to just

hang out with the same people

then you don't sign up

for a church plant.

You don't start

you don't like

no one put a gun

to your head

no one said

hey you had to be

a part of the church plant

but by being a part

of the church plant

you're literally saying

I'm going to sacrifice

the time spent

with the people

who I already have developed

and I'm going to get

out of my comfort zone

I'm going to become

relationship poor

on purpose

sacrificing existing

relationships

in order that I may

give other people

relationship richness.

I'm going to

sacrifice this

to work towards this

and it's going to cost.

Healthy church

is expensive.

It's expensive

and at the end of the day

some people don't want

to pay the price.

Some people don't want

the price.

It costs though.

I think of

my own experience

in this

you know

over the years

you know

even when we've

just

anytime we've wanted to

we've started

a new missional community

or a new iteration

of a missional community

we had to say

okay

I'm diverting

my attention

to these people

in order to go

deep with them.

I'm going to sacrifice

what I have

with these other people

to go deep

with these people

and a lot of times

what happens is

you have this kind of

fear of relationship loss.

Well

if I do that

I'm going to lose

those relationships

that are really good

but that's the catch.

In God's kingdom

that's not how it works.

If those are real

if that's a real relationship

you're not going to lose that

you just gain new ones.

Because

Mark 8.35 says

whoever would save his life

will lose it

but whoever loses his life

for my sake

and the gospel

will save it.

And so

we think

oh if I

if I sacrifice

my existing relationships

and the depth

that I have with them

in order to build

to put the right

relational capital

into a different relationship

and build that

I will lose this

but no

by

by losing it

you gain.

And over time

what's happened is

when

Gene and I

have done that

with our family

it's not that

we've lost those relationships

it's just been added

on and on and on.

And now we have

so many great relationships

because in different

seasons of time

we gave a lot

of relational capital

to go deep

with a few.

and then

but we didn't

lose the other ones.

We didn't lose

the other ones.

It just keeps growing.

And I know people

psychologists

and people

will say like

you can only handle

so many.

Says who?

Says who?

Does the word of God

say that?

Does the word of God

say that you

can't have that many

good relationships?

I don't care

what those guys say.

You can.

I've seen it by experience.

I've seen it

in other people's lives

but it takes sacrifice.

It takes sacrifice.

Are you willing

to become

relationship poor

in one area

so that someone else

can become

relationship rich?

What kind of

what a great gift

to be able to give people

but to multiply family

and say

I want to give you

relationship richness.

I've experienced something

and now I want to

give it to you.

Because the question is

is relationship generosity

optional?

Is it optional

to be relationship generous?

I don't think it is.

Let's take a look.

Let's look in 2 Corinthians

a little bit more.

There's this concept

in 2 Corinthians

that's hit

a bunch of times

and it's a biblical concept

not just 2 Corinthians

it's in the rest

of scripture

but just looking

in 2 Corinthians

here primarily

it's this concept

that when you're blessed

the purpose

of your blessing

is to bless.

So blessed

to be a blessing.

Blessed to bless.

Let's take a look at it.

2 Corinthians chapter 1

2 Corinthians 1:3–4

verses 3 to 4

it says

Blessed be the God

and Father

of our Lord Jesus Christ

the Father of mercies

and God of all comfort

who comforts us

in all our affliction.

Stop there.

Why?

Comfort is a blessing.

We've been blessed

with comfort.

Why does God

give us comfort?

Just for us?

Just for us to enjoy?

He comforts us

in all our affliction

next word

so that

okay

so now he's telling us

why

so that we may be able

to comfort those

who are in any affliction

with the comfort

with which we ourselves

are comforted by God.

So God comforts us

so we can do what?

Comfort others.

He blesses us

so we can bless others.

Is it not true

in the same way

that he gives us

an experience

of deep relationship

and family

so that we can give it

to other people

who don't have that?

Is that not what God wants?

You know how many people

I mean by far

over the last 13 years

almost every single person

who I meet

who's coming into church

or is looking for a church

they all say the same thing.

Like what are you after here?

What's going on?

I just want community.

You know if you

there's studies done

there's a loneliness epidemic

right now in the world.

People are just so lonely.

Loneliness is the norm.

Our technological culture

right now

is literally designed

to create loneliness.

Right?

The way we do life

is built that way.

And so people

don't have relationships.

People don't know

how to talk to one another.

Texting has made it

really weird.

You know?

People don't know

how to talk face to face.

They don't understand

body language.

They don't understand

relating to one another.

They certainly don't

understand family.

They don't understand

what it's like

to have relationships

outside of blood

that are like family.

And most of the people

don't even understand

what it's like

in an actual blood family.

and if you have

experienced that

in family

and outside of family

in a spiritual family

and you have

a whole bunch of people

all over Raytown

all over Kansas City

who have not experienced that

and you have a whole bunch

of other people

even professing Christians

who have not experienced that

and you've been given

that revelation

and you know how to build it

you know how to experience it

you're relationship rich.

If you then are not willing

to become relationship poor

so others can become

relationship rich

what does that say about us?

Is that not selfish?

Is that not just a slap

in the face

of the one who taught us

to be relationship poor

so others can be

relationship rich?

Jesus himself

who became poor

so that we could become rich?

Isn't that just like

a total forgetting

of the gospel

and that we've been cleansed

from our past sin?

We've been blessed

to be a blessing.

2 Corinthians chapter 8

2 Corinthians 8:14

verse 14

he says this

he says

your abundance

at the present time

should supply their need

so that their abundance

may supply your need

that there be any fairness.

So again

it's the same concept.

Why are you given abundance?

So that your abundance

can supply their need.

You've been blessed

to be a blessing.

Do you have an abundance

of healthy relationships?

Are you just so content

with them

that you're not

willing to do the work

to give other people that

and to find that

with other people?

We can't be selfish in that.

Your abundance

at the present time

is there

so that you can supply

someone else's need.

Same thing

in 2 Corinthians chapter 9

2 Corinthians 9 · chapter mention

next chapter

verse 6

he's speaking

of finances again here

but I think

there's a bigger picture

of giving.

The point is this

in verse 6

whoever sows sparingly

will also reap sparingly

whoever sows bountifully

will also reap bountifully.

Each one must give

as he has decided

in his heart

not reluctantly

under compulsion

for God loves

a cheerful giver

and God is able

to make all grace

abound to you

so that having

all sufficiency

in all things

at all times

you may abound

in every good work.

As it is written

he has distributed freely

he has given to the poor

his righteousness

endures forever.

he who supplies

seed to the sower

and bread for food

will supply and multiply

your seed for sowing

and increase the harvest

of your righteousness.

You will be enriched

in every way

to be generous

in every way

which through us

will produce

thanksgiving to God.

So he's literally saying

when you give

he'll multiply

your ability to give

so you can give more

because some people

are like

if I do this

I won't have enough

in the tank.

that's not true.

The Bible says

that when you give

faithfully

he gives you power

and ability

he enriches you

in every way

to be generous

in every way.

You say

if I become

relationship poor

I won't have enough

to make others

relationship rich.

He says no

you will be enriched

in every way

to be generous

in every way.

Your giving

and becoming poor

only makes it

so that God

gives you more

to keep giving.

That's the economy

of God.

Well if I give

I won't have any left.

No you will be

he will supply

and multiply

your seed

not for yourself

but for sowing.

He'll multiply

your seed

for sowing

and you'll be

enriched in every way

to be generous

in every way

which through us

will produce

thanksgiving to God

which is why we do it.

It's for the glory of God.

It produces

thanksgiving to God

for the ministry

of this service

is not only supplying

the needs of the saints

but is also overflowing

in many thanksgivings

to God.

By their approval

of this service

they will glorify God

because of your submission

that comes from

your confession

of the gospel of Christ

and the generosity

of your contribution

for them

and for all others

while they long

for you

and pray for you

because of the surpassing

grace of God

upon you.

Thanks be to God

for this inexpressible gift.

Okay?

So

essentially

God has given us

the gift

if you've

ever experienced

close relationship

if you've ever

experienced

church as family

some of you

maybe you haven't

you've seen it

from a distance

you've heard it

talked about

but you haven't

really experienced that

but if you have

you now have

a responsibility

if you've experienced

church as family

in that deep

abiding relationship

where you have

relationships

that are even

stronger than blood

you now have

a responsibility

to give that

away to others

to sacrifice

what you have

built there

so that you can

spend more time

building it

with other people

and

this is a

submission

that comes

from your

confession

of the gospel

of Christ

and the generosity

of your contribution

for them and others

when you believe

the gospel

you then submit

to a

gospel lifestyle

meaning

when you know

that God

became poor

so that you

could become

rich

you then submit

out of your

confession of the gospel

and say

I'm going to do

the same

I'm not just going

to preach the gospel

I'm going to

demonstrate it

by my very life

and so it

becomes normative

for us

in hopefully

church culture

to say

I'm willing to

sacrifice my

time

energy

and even

relationships

that are so good

that I love

and I get so much

life from

but I'm going to

sacrifice the time

I spend with them

in order

that I can

focus on

a few people

that I don't

have that with

or who don't

have that all

together

to give them

that

what great

gift is that

to give people

relationship richness

and what does it

result in

thanksgiving to God

what does it result

in

glorifying

of God

this is

they will glorify

God because

of your submission

that comes from

your confession

of the gospel

this is unto

God's glory

basically what

this is

is just

being others

focused

and what the

tendency can be

is that I only

think about myself

I want my

good relationships

I want my

time with my

best friend

like I just

love being with

so and so

it's so easy

it's so light

it's so natural

and then

when I

you know

when I spent

that with my

missional community

who I don't know

as well

it's just

it's not the same

you know

when I spent

time with even

maybe people

in Christchurch

because maybe

I got better

relationships

outside of

Christchurch

so yeah

I do the

Christchurch thing

because I signed

up for that

and I'm here

but you know

outside of

Christchurch

I got this

one relationship

or there's

two or three

or four

it's like

if I really

want to get

the goods

that's where

I go

and you

need to

understand

that will

that

that will

grind the

gears

of our

progress

forward

as a

church

both for

our

relational

wholeness

our

evangelistic

outreach

and the

glory

of God

and it's

important to

see that

that that's

not without

consequence

we do that

and it's

essentially

selfish

we should

be other

centered

2nd

Corinthians

chapter 1

you see this

you see this

concept in

all throughout

2nd

Corinthians

2nd

Corinthians

1

24

he says

not that

we lord

it over

your faith

but we

work with

you

for your

joy

for you

stand firm

in your

faith

for your

joy

so it's

basically

saying

I'm going

to work

with you

not just

for my

joy

and that's

maturity

says

I don't

I don't

seek

relationships

just for

my joy

I'm working

with you

for

your joy

I've been

blessed

I already

have so many

great

relationships

I want

to give

them to

you

I want

to make

you

relationship

rich

I'm working

with you

for

your joy

do you

do that

do you

work for

others

joy

is it

only

for you

is only

what I

can get

out of

it

when you

say

how's

your

missional

community

it's

just

like

oh

it's

alright

is

it's

not

that

great

are you

saying

that

because

you're

not

getting

much

out

of

it

or

because

the

people

in

your

missional

community

aren't

getting

much

from

you

you

ever

thought

about

that

well

it's

not

very

good

because

I'm

not

getting

anything

why aren't

you a little

selfish

person

oh I'm

sorry I

forgot that

the whole

world revolves

around you

you know

no what

about if we

thought well

it's actually

not going

that good

because

I'm not

giving

other people

joy

that'd be

legitimate

right

or it's

going great

why

because I'm

getting so

much

no it's

going great

because I've

found many

ways now

to give

other people

relationship

joy and

richness

and it's

awesome

do you see

the difference

there

it's an

important

distinction

2 Corinthians

5

just a

classic

one of my

faves

in our

gospel

motivation

2 Corinthians

5 14

to 15

says

for the

love of

Christ

controls

us

because

we have

concluded

this

that one

has died

for all

therefore

all have

died

and he

died

for all

why

he died

for all

that

those

who

live

might

no

longer

live

for

themselves

but

for him

who

for their

sake

died

and was

raised

okay

so

again

it's

that

gospel

reality

that

caused

us

to

say

I

don't

live

for

myself

anymore

this is

what the

Moravians

had

carved

in their

rings

none

lives

for

themselves

if you

want to

be a

people

that makes

people

relationship

rich

we have

to not

live for

ourselves

and be

able to

become

relationship

poor

for their

sake

and how

do we

do that

like how

how could

you

how do you

sacrifice

something you

really love

you have to be able to have something that you love more

you have to have something that's better

to be able to actually say

I'm going to give this up

well why are you doing that

because

the love of Christ

controls me

another version says

the love of Christ

compels me

you know

we love because he first loved us

1 John 4 19

you know Luke 7 47

those have been forgiven much

love much

uh

uh

Romans 12 verse 1

Romans 12:1

in view of God's mercy

offer your body's living sacrifice

it's all this

something else proceeds

it's the gospel

it's who God is

and what he's done

and when you know that

and you believe it

it says

I will no longer live for myself

I'm dead

I'm dead

so

it's not about me

you

you decided to become a part of this church plant

you know

some from the beginning

some have come later

I'm asking you

are you in it

for others

because of Christ

right

are you in it

for others

or are you in it for you

if you're in it for you

roadblock

wonkiness

difficulty

little gear grinding

this engine ain't working so hot

yeah

or it's working a little too hot right now

we need a little lubricating

of the relationships there

we need some

relationship oil in there

right

2 Corinthians chapter 8

2 Corinthians 8:23

verse 23

it says

as for Titus

2 Corinthians 8 verse 23

2 Corinthians 8:23

as for Titus

he is my partner

and fellow worker

for your benefit

you see it again

there's a theme

all throughout 2 Corinthians

Titus is my partner

and fellow worker

for your benefit

that's partnership

right

that's partnership

where you just say

you could say

someone else in this church

you could say

hey

so and so

is my partner

and my fellow worker

and what does that mean

for your benefit

not for themselves

but for somebody else

for your benefit

for you to become

a relationship rich

moving to 2 Corinthians chapter 12

2 Corinthians 12 · chapter mention

2 Corinthians 12 verse 15

2 Corinthians 12:15

Paul makes this

amazing statement

regarding the Corinthians

and he says

I will most gladly spend

and be spent

for

your souls

okay

if I love you more

am I to be loved less

he says

I will most gladly spend

and be spent

for your souls

so it's not just spending

but it's being spent

so it's not just giving

of your resources

it's giving of yourself

it's like

that's what Paul said

to the Thessalonians

right

he said

I share with you

not only the gospel

but our very lives

he's saying here

I'm not just spending

but I'm being spent

and in order to build

relationship richness

in other people

you have to spend

and be spent

how are we doing on that

how are we doing

on spending

and being spent

in our relationships

are we pressing through

and saying

alright

this is going to cost

it's not just going to cost

my stuff

my money

my time

it's going to cost me

I'm not just going to spend

but I'm going to be spent

that's what it takes

to build relational depth

relational familial

experience of church

it takes us

spending and being spent

and notice what he says though

I will most gladly spend

and be spent

how do you do it gladly

the gospel

you remember the gospel

are you

some of you are spending

and being spent

and maybe a little bit

of the gladness wore off

you know

it's like hey

I'm doing it man

get off my case

I'm spending

and being spent

don't tell me

I'm not doing it

I'm doing it

are you glad

no

you know

we have to be glad in it

I'm spent

I'm being spent

but Paul added

one other thing

he said

I will most gladly

spend and be spent

and that's the key

you can spend

and be spent

and everyone's just

a bunch of grumpy

church curmudgeons

and we don't really have

like you know

that kind of relationship

oil lubricating

the relationship

so all the gears

are working well

and we're just

enjoying one another

and there's grace

and compassion

and forgiveness

and it's just

you know

understanding that

yeah you're not like me

but that's okay

I love you

yeah you don't

understand how to do

this that great

but I love you

and I don't understand

how to do some things either

so I'm gonna be merciful

for you

hopefully you're merciful

to me

and there's this

give and take relationship

and I'll most gladly

spend and be spent

for you

when you have a culture

of gladly being spent

and being spent

or another way to say it

see when you spend

and you're spent

you're becoming poor

right

so gladly spending

and being spent

even giving up

relationships

you know are easier

you know you could get

more life from immediately

you'll gladly spend

those relationships

in order

to build it

with other people

gladly spent

and being spent

jumping out of there

for two more verses here

Romans 13 verse 8

Romans 13:8

says

owe no one anything

except to love one another

okay

you basically say

I owe it

to other people

to love them

like I have a debt

to them

to love them

like that's

I'm constantly looking

like how can I just

pay this debt

to love one another

that's the thing

I want to owe

and then Philippians 2

last verse

the classic

selfless verse

Philippians 2

3 to 4

do nothing from selfish

ambition or conceit

but in humility

count others

more significant

than yourselves

let each of you

not look only

to his own interests

but also

to the interest

of others

are we doing that

are we doing that

do you specifically

have some relationships

in Christchurch

or outside of Christchurch

that you need to sacrifice

in order to focus

your time and energy

with some different

relationships

in Christchurch

do you

if you do

I'm challenging you

do it

do it

but it's not

death unto death

it's death unto life

okay

if you think

it's death unto death

that's not very motivating

just wait

you want me to give up

these relationships

to not get any relationships

no no no

I'm saying

give up those relationships

to get new relationships

while you keep

the other ones

that's what you get

you get it all

this is why Jesus said

if you give up lands

and homes

and your life

will you not just gain

even more

in this life

and in the life to come

right

how is he saying that

because that's what happens

but it comes on the back

of sacrifice

and so we're not willing

to do that

I think some of us

are thinking

why am I not gaining

traction

in some of these

relationships

in Christchurch

why am we

we stuck in certain

relationships

in the missional community

and there could be

other reasons

I'm not saying

this is the only reason

but I think

some of it

is because

we're supplementing

somewhere else

and we're ruining

our relationship dinner

right

we've been snacking

over here

and getting all

the stuff here

and then we get over

to the table

of the relationships

in our missional community

and saying

yeah I'm already full

I'm good

I'm not really hungry

and then the other

people who are hungry

they don't get anything

to eat

and that's unfortunate

and we have to make sure

that we don't do that

amen

amen

let's persevere

with gratitude

into these things

you guys can come up

that's one other thing

I want to remind us of

before we were sent out

as the church here

at Bellacos

three of the words

that God gave us

to focus on this year

was build

persevere

and gratitude

and just starting this church

is definitely building

right

I mean

you guys

are very much

in the world

of building

but don't forget

the other two things

because I think

they're really important

and especially now

to persevere

with gratitude

gratitude

you know

even like what

Seth was saying

during our time

in communion together

when he was talking

about grumbling

like

once you hit

those relationship walls

are you grumbling

or are you persevering

with gratitude

God gave us those words

for a reason

and just because

you guys were sent out

doesn't mean

that it wasn't

still spoken to you

at the beginning

of the year as well

and I think

they're just as

applicable for

applicable for us now

that we would

persevere with gratitude

and just say

hey

whatever

whatever difficulty

there is