Battling Independence And Contrarianism

Okay, I want to talk to you this morning about battling independence and contrarianism.

Okay, battling independence and contrarianism.

First little caveat here, please don't listen to this and think of the person that you think

of when you think of independence and contrarianism.

Think of yourself, okay?

There's a tendency in all of us to try to find independence or to be a contrarian.

Again, sometimes just for contrarian's sake, but sometimes for other reasons.

And it's not going to help us if we're thinking about other people.

We need to ask ourselves, is this about me?

Where do I need to grow in this?

And with that too, I will say, being a new church plant and being the first church plant

of the church that sent us, it's fairly typical that the people who would gravitate towards

a church plant, especially the first ones when you've never seen a church plant before,

would be the ones who would maybe have a tendency to be a little bit more independent, a little

bit more contrarian.

And I think that was the case with this group of people.

There's a good side of that, right?

Because it's the kind of pioneering kind of people that would say yes.

And then there's a bad side of that that keeps us knitted together in a way that is fruitful

for the kingdom.

Okay?

And so I think this is an important thing for us to talk about and to realize that if

there is independence in us and there is this kind of contrarianism in us, that it's

not helpful.

It's not helpful in any sense of church, but especially on the front end of a church plant,

the first year of a church plant, God really wants us to be united.

And we're going to see that here in a second as we look at different scriptures about this.

So I'm going to read through a bunch of these scriptures.

I'll comment on a few, but I really, in many ways, just want you to let the word of God

sink into your heart and hear kind of this theme throughout scripture on unity and agreement

and having one mind, having the same mind.

And let that just sink into our hearts and just ask the question, hey, am I helping with

this?

You know, when we do premarital counseling with couples and sometimes marriage counseling,

one of the topics we'll talk about is oneness.

And we'll often ask the question, does this particular thing promote our oneness or detract

from our oneness?

And it's actually a good thing to actually ask in the context of church as well, because

God wants us to be one.

God wants us to have one mind, to be like-minded.

And there are things that we can do or say that promote oneness.

And there are things that we can do or say that detract from our oneness.

And so I'm going to look at some scriptures here.

I'm going to start in 1 Corinthians 1, verse 10.

1 Corinthians 1:10

And Paul makes an appeal here.

He says,

I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree and

that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same

judgment.

Okay.

I think it's important to realize that if we don't have agreement and we're not united

in the same mind and the same judgment, what ends up happening is there are divisions among

us.

And a lot of times independence and contrarianism is really a root for division.

And so Paul's given this appeal.

Now he's given this appeal because number one, he knows that this was happening there, but

he also knows that this is human nature as well.

Okay.

And so he's appealing.

And sometimes we have to make this appeal.

And I'm making this appeal this morning, that we are conscious of this, that we think of

this, that we all agree that there be no divisions among you, that we be united in the same mind

in the same judgment.

Philippians chapter one, verse 27 says something similar.

It says, only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ.

So whether I come and see you or I'm absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm

in one spirit with one mind, striving side by side for the faith of the gospel.

And again, this is why it's so important because when we are standing firm in one spirit and we

have one mind, it causes us to strive side by side for the sake of the gospel, for the

faith of the gospel.

And really what ends up happening is if we don't have that, it hinders our gospel witness.

It hinders gospel advance because we end up being focused on the wrong things.

Philippians chapter two, one to four says, if there's any encouragement in Christ, any comfort

from love, any participation in the spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy

by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant

than yourselves.

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

So he's saying, you know, if there's any kind of encouragement, if there's anything good

in Christ, complete this by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord

and of one mind.

Now listen, that doesn't happen naturally.

That takes work.

Like you're not going to, you're not going to get there by hoping or just thinking that's

just going to happen by natural church osmosis, so to speak.

It takes effort.

Okay.

We have to have intentionality to be of the same mind, have the same love, be in full accord

and one mind.

Now I don't know about you, but when I hear that, I think, wow, that's a pretty strong

language in agreement.

I mean, same mind, one mind, same love, full accord.

You know what I think of that thing?

I think it's not even possible.

Which brings us to another point.

We need the spirit of God to do that.

We can't be dependent on our own rationale and our own efforts alone.

We must depend on the Holy Spirit to make us one.

To pray what Jesus prayed.

That we would be one just as him and the Father are one.

That we would have the intentionality, not just in our own hearts and minds, but intentionality

to say, God, we need your spirit to make us one.

We need your spirit to help us to have one mind.

Because that's impossible apart from him.

There's no way.

But if we are all centered on the right things, if we're all focused on Christ, and we are

living by the spirit, we'll have this one mind.

We'll have the fellowship of the spirit.

Philippians chapter 2, again in Philippians, 19 to 20 in the CSB says,

Philippians 2 · chapter mention

Now I hope that the Lord Jesus sent Timothy to you soon, so that I too may be encouraged

by news about you.

For I have no one else like-minded who will genuinely care about your interests.

That same kind of concept, like-mindedness.

1 Peter 3, verse 8 says,

1 Peter 3:8

All of you have unity of mind.

2 Corinthians 13, 11,

Brothers, agree with one another.

Romans 12, 16,

Live in harmony with one another.

The good thing about this verse is it takes away that kind of concept that creeps in that

says the only way to have unity is with uniformity.

Well, there's no such thing as a harmony that has uniformity, that it's not a harmony anymore.

And it's just everybody singing the same.

The beauty of a harmony is the fact that different people are singing in different ways,

and it sounds good together.

There's unity, but it's without uniformity.

And we can have unity without uniformity.

I'm not in any way advocating, nor do I believe as the scriptures advocating that we all have to

be the same, and we have to have all the same ideas, but we can take those ideas,

work them together, live in agreement, and have one mind, and work in harmony with one another.

And we have to ask ourselves sometimes,

Does this belief, does what I'm about to say,

does what I'm about to challenge,

does what I'm about to introduce into the conversation,

is this harmony or is this out of tune?

Right?

Is this going to flow together well?

Is this going to keep us all singing the same thing in the same direction,

and it's going to be pleasant and give grace to the hearers?

Or is this going to sound bad?

Is this going to not be harmonious?

Is it going to, you know, sometimes if you have a group of people trying to sing in harmony,

and then one person gets to their part, and they're just way off,

you can stop the whole song sometimes.

And everyone's kind of like, oh, okay, I don't know where to go from there.

And that can happen in church sometimes.

We can be buzzing along, just doing our thing.

There's harmony, there's cohesion,

and then all of a sudden someone throws something out there,

and you're just like, whoa.

And the song stops.

And we stop moving forward.

So we've got to ask ourselves,

Am I living in harmony with one another?

It doesn't mean you have to be exactly the same.

Well, I thought you said we have to be one mind.

Yes.

You have to take all these scriptures together and interpret them.

You can't just take one alone, take them together.

There has to be a way to be of one mind,

while there's still certain differences where they harmonize together.

Okay?

And that's what we have to ask ourselves.

Is this harmonious?

Is this belief?

Is this way of doing things?

Is this what I'm about to say?

Romans 14.19 says,

Let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.

It's so easy to be so,

and especially knowing how you're gifted.

Sometimes it can be so easy to just be so kind of myopic

and tunnel vision on what is true or what is right,

and we can miss what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.

Now, I'm not saying you compromise what is true or what is right,

but sometimes we can do that at the expense of people.

We can do that at the expense of thinking of the harmony,

of only thinking of ourselves and not thinking of how we function together.

And he says,

Let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.

And so we have to ask the question,

Is this going to bring peace among us?

Is this going to be a mutual upbuilding?

Sometimes it might only build us up.

It might only be interesting to us.

It might only be good for us or maybe even one other person.

Maybe if I say this in front of a large group of people,

maybe this won't be upbuilding.

Maybe this won't be helpful.

We got to ask those questions sometimes,

and we have to pursue that.

It has to be pursued.

It's really a mentality,

kind of a focus of how we even do church together.

Ephesians chapter 4, 1 to 6 says,

Ephesians 4 · chapter mention

I therefore, a prisoner of the Lord,

urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called,

with all humility and gentleness,

with patience,

bearing with one another in love.

Verse 3,

Eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

There is one body and one Spirit.

Just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call.

One Lord, one faith, one baptism,

one God, the Father of all,

who is over all and through all,

and in all.

There's a lot of ones in there.

I think he's trying to make a point.

He's trying to make a point of how we should be one.

We should be eager

to maintain the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace.

Let me ask you the question.

When it comes to the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace,

what is your disposition?

What is your attitude when it comes to that?

Are you eager?

Is it an afterthought or a forethought?

Is it an intention or is it off the radar?

Are you eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace?

We need to be eager.

It needs to be something that we are looking forward to,

that we are pressing into.

Not an afterthought.

Not something we don't think about very often.

It needs to be something that we're eager for.

One of the reasons we need to be eager for it

is because the devil wants to disunify us.

And the devil is into aborting things.

He loves to abort things before they can get traction and really get started.

He loves to do this with churches.

He loves to do this with babies.

He loves to do this with all kinds of things.

We're not unaware of his schemes.

And so we need to be eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace.

Knowing that the devil does not want this church to even get off the ground.

We're not even a year into it.

Of course the devil would love to abort it before we could even get there.

So you have to be aware of that.

We have to be aware of the devil's schemes and not say,

Oh, it's no big deal.

I'd have to think about it.

No, you do have to think about it.

You do have to be eager.

You do have to think about what we say, how we do things,

who the audience is.

We have to be considering those things.

Very important.

So those are, I mean, just a kind of a cluster of verses.

Talking about agreement, oneness of mind, eagerness in this area, pursuing it.

There's quite a bit of things there that is definitely a theme in the Scriptures that we are to pursue.

And I just, before I get into some roots of what can cause this,

I just want you to ask the question again,

What is your disposition towards this?

How eager or uneager are you at this?

Have you been burned in the past by things that have caused you to just say,

Well, it's not the big deal.

I'm just kind of looking after myself because when I tried to do this in the past,

I got burned or it went really horribly.

And listen, that's true.

Many of us have experienced that where it's gone really poorly.

When we actually tried to aim for these noble things that the Scriptures say.

And the worst thing that could happen when we would get so burnt out on that,

that we would stop being eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace.

We have to.

We must.

And it's a worthy cause.

And I think it's just important for us to say that out loud.

This is a worthy cause.

And not think, Well, I'm tired.

I'm burnt out.

I tried that.

It didn't work.

I tried that.

And I was a part of a church split.

I tried that.

And I got really hurt.

Yes.

I know how you feel.

That's happened.

But to be eager in this thing.

To say, Yes, those things have happened.

But as far as this church,

we are going to be eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace.

We're going to be eager in this.

Amen?

Okay.

I want to look at kind of 10 different roots, I think, of independence and contrarianism.

Okay?

10 possible roots of what can kind of cause these things to crop up.

All right?

So let's start with the first one.

First one.

Unbelief.

Okay?

Genesis 3.

1.

Classic tactic of the enemy right from the beginning.

The serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made.

And he said to the woman.

And this is...

Just know this is a constant tactic of the enemy.

Did God really say,

You must not eat from any tree in the garden?

And this is what often I think ends up happening when it comes to unity,

when it comes to being of one mind.

Is...

Did God really say that?

I mean...

Do we really need to be of one mind?

Do we really need to be in full accord?

Do we...

I mean...

Did God really say that?

And my answer to you is,

Yes, He did.

We just read it.

Said it a few times.

Said it many times.

And it's easy to say,

Well, but we're so different.

And there's so much...

There's such an eclectic nature of people in general,

much less the church.

Surely God didn't really mean that.

Surely God didn't really say that.

But oh yes, He did.

He did.

And so it's good to just...

I think that's one that really goes under the radar.

We kind of read these verses and think,

Well, that's not...

Surely it can't mean that because that would be impossible.

So it must not mean that.

When in actuality it does mean that,

and we're just in unbelief.

We're reading through the scriptures

with human eyes and lenses and past experiences

and saying,

Surely God couldn't really mean that.

Surely God didn't really say that

because it's not possible.

And so we read these verses

and we kind of just go to the next verse.

You know?

It happens.

I know it happens.

We have to be watch out for that.

Do you have faith that it's possible to be of one mind?

Do you have faith that it's possible to be in full accord?

One accord.

Do you have faith in that?

And if you don't, we need to repent.

We need to believe and trust God.

Okay?

You wanted to do a church plant and not have faith?

You're out of your mind.

There's no way.

We need faith.

And one of the things we have to believe

is that God can build his church,

that God can keep us together,

that God can unify an eclectic group of people,

a motley crew from all different walks of life

and different church backgrounds

and different ages.

You know you hear these voices sometimes.

I don't fit in.

I don't have a place.

I'm too old.

I'm too young.

I'm not like them.

I don't fit in with that person.

I'm not close to that person.

They're close.

I'm not.

They do these things.

I don't do those things.

It's all these voices.

You're going to listen to them?

You're going to listen to the voice of God.

You'll listen to the word of God and say,

no, this is possible.

And yes, although in some areas it looks like

the cards are stacked against us,

God is for us.

What cards really can be stacked against us?

Right?

God is for us.

Who can be against us?

I'm not going to have more faith

in the devil's ability to screw things up

than God's ability to keep things together.

Really at its core,

unbelief is not a lack of faith.

It's just faith in the wrong direction.

It's faith in the wrong things.

It's actually believing that the devil

has more power to disrupt

than God has power to unify.

And that's just unacceptable

for anyone who believes that Jesus is

who he says he is.

Okay?

Number two,

ignorance I think is a root.

I think sometimes we don't realize.

I think sometimes we just kind of pan it off

and say, you know,

yeah, I have some different views on things

or I have some different thoughts

or I like to challenge things

or I like to discuss things

and talk about things.

But again, I'm not saying those things are bad.

We'll get into more of this more.

But we're not conscious of the fact

that a house divided against itself cannot stand.

And we don't think about the fact

that this can be very disruptive.

Independence and contrarianism

are divisive by nature.

Okay?

They divide us.

And we have to be careful

while we let these things suddenly come in

and just think,

oh, it's not a big deal.

I really actually do think

it does become a big deal.

And I don't think,

I really believe this is something

we need to hear as a church

is that we need to be careful of these things.

And again, don't think of the person

who's not,

someone sitting next to you in the room.

Think of yourself.

Okay?

Independence and contrarianism are divisive.

Mark 3.25.

If a house is divided against itself,

that house will not be able to stand.

Period.

Period.

Number three, root.

This is a big one.

It's very easy and often happens

that we can find our identity

in being different.

Okay?

And so,

but the problem is

if your identity is in being different,

then you're not free to be the same.

Essentially,

you're not free to be one.

If your identity is in being different,

you're actually subconsciously hindering unity

because your identity cannot handle

being the same

or to be one.

You always have to identify yourself as different.

You almost,

there's like this,

an identity in being different

causes a need for contrarianism

because otherwise I lose my identity.

If you agree with me,

if we're one,

I'm no longer secure

because I feel like I'm just lost in the crowd.

Whereas me being different,

being a contrarian,

can end up making me feel

a sense of worth.

So it's finding your identity

in something other than the person

and the work of Jesus.

And what ends up happening

is that you actually create

this unintentional,

maybe subconscious friction

with each other

to have to be our own dog,

to have to be different,

to have to have different ideas,

to have to always be the one

who pushes against

or always be the one

who has these ideas of things.

I think this is,

we as a church identify

as a charismatic church.

We believe in the power

and the work

and the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

But one of the extreme bad

sections of the charismatic world

can be that

when the gospel isn't centered

in a charismatic belief system,

we have to come up

with new revelation

in order to find identity.

And so I always have to be hearing

some new thing from God.

I always have to have

this new revelation

in a scripture

that nobody else has ever had

for all of time and space.

And yet I do.

And that makes me somewhat special

when really there's nothing

more special,

nothing more unique,

nothing more grounding

and identifying

than the person

and the work of Jesus.

And if you do not

found yourself

on the gospel of Jesus,

and I'm not talking about

whether you're a Christian or not,

I'm talking about

believing the gospel

in all areas of our life.

Okay?

Because I'm speaking to Christians,

but we have pockets of unbelief

in the gospel

where we subtly are

pulled into finding our identity

and being something

other than in Christ.

So we say,

I have to be different

because that's what makes me feel valid.

It makes me feel like

I bring value

instead of just finding our value

in the person and work of Jesus.

Okay?

And so,

watch out for that.

Watch out for that.

If you start to feel uncomfortable

even sometimes,

sometimes you can almost sense it

that someone comes into a conversation

and they're coming in

thinking I'm for sure

going to be contrarian in this

and they find out,

oh,

we actually agree on this

and then almost like

causes them to feel

a little unsettled.

Like,

oh,

in that case,

well,

what about this?

You know,

it's like,

wait a second,

like we agree on this.

This is good,

isn't it?

But no,

you just literally

just stole the person's identity.

You just pulled it out

right from underneath them

and now they're freaking out.

Okay?

That's why we must have

our identity rooted

in the gospel.

Okay?

1 Corinthians 11,

there's two schools

of thought on this verse,

whether Paul was being sarcastic

or facetious about this.

I tend to think he was

because of the context,

but you can pick for yourself,

but I think it's a good example of this.

1 Corinthians 11,

17 and 19,

he says,

in the following instructions,

I do not commend you

because when you come together,

it is not for the better,

but for the worse.

For in the first place,

when you come together as a church,

I hear that there are divisions among you

and I believe it in part,

for there must be factions among you

in order that those

who are genuine among you

may be recognized.

Some say,

well,

he's saying yes,

that as actually,

he's not being facetious,

that these distinctions

and factions need to be there

for it to be recognized

who's right,

but I think there's a good chance

he could be being facetious here

and saying,

this is actually what the problem

I have with you guys.

You guys have divisions

and it's almost like

you must have them

in order to prove

that you are approved by God.

You must have them to say that,

hey,

I'm legit here

and I have to distinguish myself

because I'm not finding my identity

in the person and work of Jesus.

Beware of that.

Beware of that.

Number four,

I think a root of independence

and contrarianism

is a loose tongue.

A loose tongue.

Now,

I mean this in a very specific way.

Okay?

Let me look at some of the verses.

Proverbs 15,

2 says,

The tongue of the wise

commends knowledge,

but the mouths of fools

pour out folly.

Proverbs 12,

18 says,

There is one whose rash words

are like sword thrusts,

but the tongue of the wise

brings healing.

And then Ephesians 4,

29 says,

Let no corrupting talk

come out of your mouths,

but only such as is good

for building up

as fits the occasion

that it may give grace

to those who hear.

Sometimes,

you might have thoughts

about something.

You're wondering about something.

Maybe,

you're finding your beliefs

challenged by something

and you want a sounding board

on that.

And,

especially when we feel comfortable

with a group of people,

it's easy to just think

it doesn't matter

who that sounding board is.

I'm saying that it does matter.

Sometimes,

being a sounding board

to the wrong people

doesn't benefit

or give grace

to those who hear.

It's not,

it's not,

it's like,

hey,

that's a perfectly

fine conversation.

Like,

we can wonder

and doubt things

and have questions

about things.

We have to have the freedom

to be able to do that.

But we have to think

that sometimes

having that conversation

with the wrong person

can really wig them out

and not help,

and that really

does not be helping them.

Okay?

And so,

we have to make sure

that before we,

you know,

vent about something

or throw out this new thought

we're having about something

or disagree about something

or think,

you know,

hey,

I think we're going

the wrong direction

and give our opinion

on something.

We have to think,

is this going to build up

the church?

Is this putting us

in the right direction?

Is this good for building up?

And is it as fits the occasion?

Or is this the wrong place

in time for this?

Is it giving grace

to those who hear?

This might not be helpful.

Okay?

That's a really important

question to ask.

And I think

sometimes when you're

tending towards

an individualistic independence

or you tend to have

more of a contrarian mindset,

you could just say things,

again,

especially if it's found

in your identity,

you just say things

or give opinions

and you're not thinking

of who it's affecting.

There might be someone

who's weak in faith

that you're putting doubts

in their mind

that they really don't need it

and are not going

to be helpful to.

You might be saying things

that you say it

to the right person,

you can go back

and forth on it,

you have a good conversation

and there's mutual upbuilding

and this is a good conversation.

Whereas others,

it's just like,

oh my gosh,

that really scared me.

Like,

what if that is true?

What if that's right?

Whereas two other people

could have that conversation

and they come out of it

and it's like,

oh,

there's good clarity

and there's good,

there's no fear.

Someone else gets

really anxious about it.

Someone else starts

believing things

because they're not

as grounded in the scriptures

or they're not as grounded

in their faith.

Starts believing things

they shouldn't believe.

We have to be careful

of what we say

and who we say it to.

Especially when it comes

to opinions.

Everybody's got opinions.

All right?

I have strong opinions.

So who,

I'd be a fool,

especially because

you guys know me,

if I'd say,

hey,

no more strong opinions.

Not to mention,

that'd be lame.

No one wants to be

a brown people

who don't have strong opinions.

I actually enjoy

strong opinions

most of the time.

Okay?

But,

I have to,

I know this about myself

and you need to know

this about yourself

that just because

you have a strong opinion

doesn't mean everybody

needs to hear it.

Sometimes it's not beneficial.

We should be sometimes

thinking,

is this going to be helpful?

Is this going to be helpful?

1 Corinthians 6.12

in the CSB says,

everything is permissible

for me,

but not everything

is beneficial.

Okay?

Sometimes it's not beneficial.

And Proverbs 21.23

says,

whoever keeps his mouth

and his tongue

keeps himself out of trouble.

And so sometimes

we vent out loud,

we give opinions out loud,

we say things

that we haven't even

really figured out

ourselves yet.

And sometimes that's okay

because you need the help

of someone else

to figure it out.

But sometimes

if you haven't figured out

yourself,

it's not helpful

to bring it up

to other people.

and sometimes

we have to think too,

you know,

whether it's a church,

sometimes it's your job,

sometimes it's in your marriage,

it can be in multiple

different things.

Sometimes you have opinion

about things going

in a different direction

and it's not the direction

that whoever's leading

is taking the people.

Okay?

Whether it's your family

with your parents

in a marriage

with your husband

in a church

with the elders

and leaders of the church,

sometimes it's like,

well, you have an opinion,

but what they're doing

isn't wrong,

so maybe that opinion

isn't helpful.

And I've been in churches

where that's been the case

where I'm just thinking,

you know what,

this isn't the way

I would do it.

But if I bring this up,

it could cause

unnecessarily,

they've made a decision,

I don't want to have

unnecessary division here.

Now, if they're inviting it

or they're asking for it

or it's in the right,

again, it's using discernment

to say,

when do I say these things?

Sometimes by saying

those things,

it's like,

this is actually going to

shake things up

in a way that shouldn't.

Sometimes we need to

shake things up

in the way that they should,

but there's a time

and a place for that

and we need to be

thinking about that,

right?

That's why James 1.19,

he says,

you know,

let every person

be slow to speak.

It's just thinking

about what we say.

I got to say

that this group of people

has a lot of strong opinions

and has a lot to say

about a lot of things.

Sometimes I'm surprised

that I didn't think

that things could be said

about that said thing

and then there's a lot of things.

And again,

part of me loves that,

but part of that

is not helpful.

It's not helpful.

And I hope you understand

where I'm coming from that.

And I think

trying to lead

in a fatherly way

or just say,

let's just be a little

slower to speak sometimes

and think about that

a little bit more

and think,

I want to,

for the mutual

up in this church

and think,

yes,

I have an opinion

about everything

or you have an opinion

about everything,

but is it always beneficial

to say it

or is it always best

to do it in this context

or this people?

We got to ask the question.

Number five,

a root of independence

or contrarianism

is thinking of yourself

more highly than you ought.

Okay,

Romans 12, 3 says,

for by the grace given to me,

I say to everyone among you

not to think

of himself

more highly

than you ought to think,

but to think

with sober judgment,

each according

to the measure of faith

that God has assigned.

Okay,

we got to watch out

for pride

and we got to

have self-awareness

to know like,

hey,

am I thinking of myself

more highly than I ought?

Am I thinking of my opinion

more highly than I ought?

Am I thinking about even

who I am

and what I know

and how I know it?

Am I thinking of it

with sober judgment?

Or am I just thinking

I know better?

Am I just exalting my gifting

above other people's gifting?

Am I thinking because

am I thinking

because I'm a teacher,

I see things clearer?

Am I thinking

because I'm more prophetic,

I clearly see things

better than other people?

Am I thinking because

I'm pastoral

that I understand people

better than other people?

Now,

that's part of the nature

of those gifts, right?

Like,

you do understand

certain things better.

That's why,

that's what having the gift is.

But sometimes

we can exalt things

over other people.

We can not look at ourselves

with sober judgment.

We cannot respect

people who have been

in the arena,

so to speak,

as Roosevelt said,

you know,

not with those cold

and timid souls

that have never known

victory or defeat,

not armchair theologians

and armchair critics

who are constantly

giving opinions

about everything

but have never actually

been in the arena

and done said thing

or have done

very little of it.

It's like the,

the amount of like

parenting influencers

online now

who are so authoritative

with what they have

and yet they're,

they're talking about parenting

and they have one child

and their oldest is three

and they're the expert

on parenting.

You just got to think,

you know,

I just don't know

if you're really

looking at yourself

with sober judgment.

You may have a little more

to learn about parenting

because your oldest is three

and you have one child

and, you know,

you read some posts

on Instagram.

I like,

that's just not enough for me.

I think maybe

a little more experience,

maybe a little more

child rearing

before you start saying

you're the expert

on parenting

and you throw out

all the things

that have been taught

in the scriptures

or the ways things

have been done

and you say,

well, that's all bad.

You know,

and so we have to look

at ourselves

with sober judgment

and just say,

okay,

am I thinking of myself

more highly than I ought?

Am I thinking that

what I think

in my opinion

is so important

that I'm willing

to sacrifice

the greater unity

when it's not appropriate?

And there is a place

where it's appropriate

to share those things

and there is things

that God gives us

and ways that God gives us

that is helpful.

But if we're not thinking

of ourselves,

if we're thinking of ourselves

more highly than we ought,

we start to become independent,

start to think,

well, I don't need other people.

I'm the end all, be all.

I'm the guru.

I'm the one who gets this.

They don't get this.

We become independent

and sometimes we can

almost be combative,

combative,

is that how you say it?

And contrarian with people

because it's like,

I know better.

And we need sometimes

a good dose of humility

to realize we don't

always know better.

Number six,

important one,

an incorrect view

of authority.

Okay?

So the question is,

what is authority for?

Two great verses on this

in 2 Corinthians.

2 Corinthians 10:8

Chapter 10, verse 8,

even if I boast

a little too much

of our authority,

Paul and the apostles

speaking here,

which the Lord gave

for building you up

and not for destroying you,

I will not be ashamed.

Then it says

in chapter 13, verse 10,

for this reason

I write these things

while I'm away from you,

that when I come

I may not have to be severe

in my use of the authority

that the Lord has given me

for building up

and not for tearing down.

Authority is for building up.

Authority is for protection.

Authority is for thinking

of the best

and the well-being

of the person

who are under your care.

All right?

Now, because

we have had so much

bad authority,

we tend to throw out authority

or think it's not

for building up.

And because we have a...

Honestly,

Gina and I were talking

about this this morning.

Can you imagine

how much health

would be brought

to the church

if everybody

who went to a church

where the pastor

or pastors

was not qualified

according to the biblical

qualifications of an elder?

I mean,

it's really simple,

straightforward.

There's nothing complicated here.

Imagine if all the people

who are part of churches

with unqualified elders

just left those churches.

Think of how that

would change the church.

It would drastically

change the health

of the church

because these people

get a voice

because people go

to their churches

and then they have

these warped views

of authority

and they say,

well, no,

that's not what authority

is for.

Really, it's just because

you're at a church

that clearly didn't meet

the qualifications

of an elder

and everybody

kept going there

and everybody

kept talking about it

as if this is okay

or it's not okay

but we're working with it.

It's just like, no.

If this church

or any church

has elders,

leaders,

apostles

who are not qualified

according to the very specific,

very simple qualifications

of an elder,

leave.

Leave quickly

and go find a church

that has them.

Like that's,

it doesn't make any sense

where we have these issues

with authority

because the people

just weren't clearly qualified.

Why do we even give them a voice?

Why do we even try

to do church that way?

It was never meant

to be done that way.

So we have this incorrect

view of authority

and so we end up

being independent

because we end up thinking,

I'm on my own.

I can't trust any authority.

Right?

This happens

in multiple levels.

All right?

The proliferation

of divorce

or maybe even

if you've lost parents

and you grew up

with bad parents

or only one parent,

divorced parents,

you end up thinking

subconsciously,

I'm on my own.

I can't trust authority.

Authority's not for me.

Authority doesn't build me up.

Authority doesn't protect me.

I have to be my own dog.

I have to be independent.

I have by nature

need to be a contrarian

because no one's looking

after me

but myself.

And it shapes

our way of thinking

of authority.

Okay?

You see this even,

but really a parent

is supposed to build up

their kids

and protect their kids

and take the weight

of decision making

and a lot of things

off their kids

and give them the freedom

to be kids

and to do their job.

Parent does their job.

Kid does their job.

Same thing in a marriage.

You oftentimes

have wives

who are strung out

and anxious

about things

that they're not even,

they don't need to decide

because they have

a godly husband.

They should just be trusting

that, hey,

that doesn't mean

they can't give input.

That doesn't mean

they don't have conversations.

I'm talking about

being quiet

and barefoot

in the kitchen.

I'm talking about

where,

why are you stressing

about something

when you have

good godly authority

in your life?

You have good godly authority

in your life.

Let that authority

be there to build you up.

Let that authority

be there to free you

to be a wife

and to be a woman

and to be feminine

and to do what you're

best at doing.

In the same way

with shepherd

shepherd

and sheep

in a church.

Listen,

if you have elders,

apostles,

elders,

and they are above

reproach,

they meet the

qualification of an elder

in the same way,

there should be a level

of freedom

to just say,

I don't have to be

independent

and making sure

I'm doing the job

of an elder

for the elder.

I don't need to be

those things

because that's the benefit

of being under good authority

as they are there

to build me up.

They are there

to protect me.

And then people

always just end up saying,

well,

yeah,

but if I don't do that,

they're going to go back.

And that's the same thing

a spouse will say.

If I don't do that,

then my husband

will go bad.

If I don't do that,

you know,

this family's,

all these things,

we end up thinking that.

But who,

the Bible doesn't say that.

Where's the trust?

Where's the fact

that God has set up authority?

That these are God's

delegated authorities

and is it not

just a lack of trust in Him?

Then I get it.

You've had bad experiences.

But let's ask the question.

Did not those bad experiences

come because

that authority

wasn't qualified?

That it wandered away

from God's ways

and God's set

statutes that He had?

We have to ask ourselves,

is that eroded our trust

in good godly authority?

And if someone's above reproach

and they meet qualifications,

there should be

a level of,

oh,

oh,

I can trust.

Should happen in the church,

should happen in marriage,

should happen with our parents.

We should be able to

say that God has put authority

in the earth to build up.

Do you believe that?

Do you believe that God

has given you authority?

Or do you believe that God,

or you believe that authority

is something that should always,

you should always be skeptical of?

That authority

is something not to be trusted?

That authority

is inherently evil?

These are the kind of things

that sink in.

And it's the total opposite

of what God always wanted.

And it erodes trust

with each other.

It causes division.

Whereas really,

authority is given

to cause us to be unified

and of one mind.

Authority is given us

to help us be in agreement

in one spirit,

to build us up together.

Good authority

will hear things from people

and make good godly decisions

and lead in a godly,

humble way.

But sometimes we channel

that into things

and we don't let authority

actually fight for us.

We think,

I have to fight for myself.

I have to fight for myself.

And then good authority

is aborted.

The benefit of good authority

is good authority

should be fighting for you.

Fighting for your best,

fighting for unity,

fighting for us

to go in the same direction.

And when everybody thinks

I cannot trust authority,

I have to be my own authority

and I have to be skeptical

of authority at every place,

otherwise it's going to go bad,

it causes division.

It's an unhealthy independence

and contrarianism.

Number seven,

a root can be ignoring fruit

and spiritual gifts.

Hebrews 13, 7 says,

remember your leaders,

those who spoke to you

the word of God,

consider the outcome

of their way of life

and imitate their faith.

Okay?

Matthew 11, 19 in the NIV says,

wisdom is proved right

by her deeds.

All right?

And so,

ask the question.

It goes back to what I was saying

about the Instagram

parenting influencer.

All right?

What have they done?

What is their track record?

You know?

Have they,

how have they led in the past?

What is the fruit

of their leadership?

What is the fruit

of their parenting?

What is the fruit

of their family life?

What is the fruit

of their discipleship?

What is the fruit

of their decision making?

What is the fruit

of their church life?

What is the fruit?

And ask that question.

Then we need to look

at ourselves and say,

what's the fruit of my life?

Do I have fruit

in the area that I'm saying?

I mean,

when I was a young man

in my 20s,

early married,

just starting to have kids,

I had a whole lot

of thoughts on parenting.

I had a lot of them.

And I thought that I was right.

But you know what?

I would have been a fool

to be talking a lot

about them.

I had two kids

and they were like

one in a few months.

But I made a commitment.

I'm going to give this

a good 20 years

and then I'm going

to be vocal about it.

Should there be fruit?

And if there's not,

well then I should

probably shut up

because I need to defer

to someone who knows

what they're doing.

But if these things

are true

and they were proved true

over 20, 30 years,

well,

that gives me

a lot more authority

to say them.

Now,

certain things have authority

to say them

just because they're true.

That doesn't mean

that you can't

confront someone's parenting

because you don't have kids

or because your kids

are young.

But again,

when it comes to

all kinds of things,

you just got to ask yourself,

is this the best time

to speak up?

Do I have authority

in this area?

Do I have clout?

Have I built trust?

Is there fruit in my life?

Wisdom is proved true

by your actions.

If you're saying

something that's wise

but there's no action

behind it,

there's no fruit,

I haven't seen in your life.

The opposite is true as well.

If you see fruit,

if you see the outcome

of a leader's life,

if you see what's there,

you should give clout to that.

You know,

if you have a faithful leader

who's been a leader

for 30, 40, 50, 60 years

and it's like

there's a lot of fruit

behind them,

you should say,

you know what?

I'm going to listen to them

when they talk about leadership.

I'm going to listen to this person

because of how they've done family

or how they do work

or business

or whatever it may be.

But I think a lot of times

we ignore fruit

or we ignore spiritual gifts.

And we just think

only what I have is important.

1 Corinthians 12, 21 says

that I cannot say to the hand,

I don't need you.

And the head cannot say to the feet,

I don't need you.

Because you are the body of Christ

and each one of them

a part of it.

Okay?

Each part is necessary.

I can't say,

well, you know what?

My gifting,

I see things more clearly

but I don't really need you.

We have to recognize.

If you recognize someone

as a teacher,

you say,

what is a teacher for?

If you recognize someone

gifted prophetically,

you say,

what is a prophet for?

If you recognize someone

is gifted apostolic,

you say,

what is an apostolic gifting for?

If you recognize someone

as a gift of administration,

you say,

what is that gift for?

And then receive the benefit of it.

When you say,

only what I think,

my independent,

I have marked a corner of this,

when actuality,

nobody does,

we need those other gifts.

What does that other gift

that I don't have

have to say about

how we do life together

as a church

that I need?

I've said before,

I was talking one time

to an evangelist,

very gifted evangelist,

and I was talking about,

he was talking about evangelism,

I was really appreciating it

because I don't think

that's like a strong gift of mine.

And I was talking to him

more about how the church

thinks bigger picture,

more church planting

and apostolic thinking.

And I got done saying

what I was saying

and he says to me,

that's a load of crap.

And I was like,

wow,

well,

tell me how you really feel.

Like,

you can't,

you can't just say

that that's a load of crap.

Like,

you need me

and I need you.

You need me

and I need you.

We're part of the body.

You can't just say

because you're an evangelist

and you're so hell-bent

and winning souls,

praise God you are,

that the church now

isn't important,

how it's shaped

isn't important.

What are we going to do

with all those souls

that get saved?

My gifting

serves your gifting.

Your gifting

serves my gifting.

We need each other.

Stop thinking so highly

of yourself

and ignoring the fact

that I have one gifting,

you have another

and they're both necessary.

Very important.

Number eight.

Got three more here.

Number eight,

overreacting.

Overreaction can cause

a root of independence

or contrarianism.

Okay,

what do I mean by this?

Well,

you,

maybe your own parenting,

like I was saying,

sometimes you were

not parented well.

They were distant from you,

they weren't there for you

and so,

I'm on my own,

I gotta do things.

Maybe even like a belief,

you know,

one thing that I think

has more impact

on some people

than they realize

is in the 70s,

there was a movement

called the shepherding movement

and in the shepherding movement,

people took way too much authority.

They abused authority

in the sense

that they were telling people

to do a whole lot of things

the Bible doesn't tell

that authority

is supposed to be

telling people to do.

Well,

there was a correction of that.

But what ended up happening

is there was a huge backlash

to that

where people just threw out

authority altogether.

Some of those people

were your parents.

Okay?

Some of those people

maybe were yourself.

And you grew up thinking,

oh,

because this was abuse so bad,

we have to go way

the opposite way.

And then you maybe

even grew up in a home

where there was authority

and leadership

and church organization

was always met

with skepticism.

Special revelation

was exalted

to an unhealthy place.

And what ends up happening

is you start to view things

through your lack.

Well,

okay,

I wasn't parented well,

taught well,

discipled well,

I wasn't led well.

And so,

this is what we all need

when it's really

you're majorly

just reacting

to what you didn't get.

Instead of looking

at what the church is

presently that you're in

and saying,

what do we need?

Am I responding to Jesus

and the church that I'm in

or am I reacting

to my upbringing

and what I didn't have

and responding

in too far the other way?

Happens all the time.

Got to ask ourselves

that question.

Number nine,

a sense of super spirituality

can cause independence

and contrarianism.

1 Corinthians 1, 10 through 13

hits this great.

He says,

I appeal to you,

brothers and sisters,

in the name of our Lord Jesus,

Christ,

that all of you agree

with one another

in what you say

and that there be no divisions

among you,

but that you be perfectly

united in mind and thought.

He said,

my brothers and sisters,

some from Chloe's household

who inform me

there are quarrels among you.

What I mean is this.

One of you says,

I follow Paul.

Another,

I follow Apollos.

Another,

I follow Cephas.

Still another,

much more spiritual,

I follow Christ.

Christ.

And then he says,

is Christ divided?

Is Christ divided?

And we can almost become like,

yeah,

you know,

I don't follow Calvin.

I don't follow this group

or movement.

I don't follow,

whatever.

Pick your thing.

I follow Christ.

Well,

aren't you spiritual?

Aren't you?

And what we can end up doing

is separating from the body of Christ

and exalting ourselves

over the other people

because he says,

is Christ divided?

Is Christ divided

so that you're the special people

and then all these other people

are not?

And we can end up having

a super spiritual alley

where it just says,

you know,

I don't prescribe

to that line of thinking.

I just follow Christ.

Oh,

really?

Oh,

really?

Good for you.

I'm sure you have no defilement

of all,

of any purpose

or disunifying factor in there.

We've got to just ask ourselves,

come on,

let's be real.

We don't want to be

super spiritual weirdos,

okay?

We have to realize

we need each other

and that,

yes,

we all follow Christ.

You don't have the market

cornered on Christ

and if you really believe

those other people

are Christ followers as well,

don't act like you're following Christ

in a way that other people don't

because it causes division.

It causes us not to be close

to one another,

to be one mind.

And lastly,

number 10,

drawing people to yourself.

Okay,

this is for sure

a disunifying way

of being independent

and contrary to one another.

Acts 20,

29 to 30,

Paul expresses this

in his last address

to the Ephesian elders.

He says,

I know that after I leave,

savage wolves

will come in among you

and will not spare the flock.

Even from your own number,

men will arise

and distort the truth

in order to draw away disciples

after them.

And I say this

as someone who's planting this church,

who will be one

who will plant other churches.

My role here won't be

as prominent as it is now

down the road.

I will have less of a role

at some point in time.

I hope I always have some role.

Again,

not by any show of force,

but because of relationship,

mutual respect,

and trust.

But someday,

I won't have the same

influence that I have.

I won't have the same authority

in this group of people

that maybe I did

at one point in time

because there will be

elders risen up here

and this church will

grow and mature on its own.

But one thing

I get concerned about

is that if we don't build

a foundation of unity

and oneness in this church,

that after I do leave

in a sense,

that if there's people

who have in them

a tendency to draw people

to themselves,

it will disrupt things

in an unhealthy manner.

If there's people

who say,

well,

yeah,

I know we do things