Repenting Of Victim Mentality

Okay, today I'm going to talk about repenting from victim mentality.

! Repenting from victim mentality.

! I'm going to start off with a verse from John chapter 7.

John 7 · chapter mention

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Asked them, hey, am I going to heaven?

You know, they were searched and they were immediately held accountable.

And they had no excuses.

That's what being around Jesus is like.

And I just thought about that.

Like, what is it to have a church where, you know, Jesus says he's here with us for his body.

He lives and dwells in the temple through the Holy Spirit.

So it should be like that, you know.

I don't know if any of you who've read Chronicles of Narnia, I love all the scenes with Aslan because it's exactly like this.

I think C.S. Lewis just nails it.

Just this, he immediately calls you to account.

If you start complaining about other people, he more or less is like, what's that to you?

You know.

And there's immediately just this sense of, oh, it's Aslan.

My mouth is shut.

And yeah, I am accountable.

And I've been distracted by a bunch of other things that are preventing me to see that I'm accountable.

And then you talk to me and now I see it.

And that's what it should be like in Christ's church.

You know.

He sent the ministry of the Holy Spirit for the upbuilding.

We speak the truth of love to the building up of the church that we might grow up into Jesus in all things.

And part of that is being held accountable.

And there's, I don't know if this is the best term for it, but I think the opposite of being held accountable is having a victim mentality.

Holding on to this thing that disperses my accountability among a bunch of other people.

And that's all I want to talk about today.

So victim mentality.

Repenting from victim mentality.

First, what is victim mentality?

So I'll look at two sources.

I'm going to look at Grok, which is an AI thing through Twitter.

For those of you who like AI, I enjoy it.

I did not write my sermon in AI, but I did get a definition for this.

And then the Bible.

Okay, so we're going to major on the Bible, but we're going to minor on this definition.

We're going to start off with this one because it's really good.

So Grok.

Grok.

I asked Grok, what is victim mentality?

Grok says victim mentality is, the definition of victim mentality is,

a psychological mindset where an individual consistently perceives themselves as the victim of circumstances.

As a victim of other people's actions.

As a victim of external events.

Often feeling powerless to change their situation.

It involves a persistent belief that one is unfairly treated, targeted, or unable to influence their life outcomes.

Leading to a cycle of self-pity, blame, and avoidance of personal responsibility.

This is awesome.

I love it.

It's great.

Sounds good.

We'll see if the Bible corroborates this, but, you know, sounds good so far.

Key characteristics.

These are some indicators.

This is characteristics that typify someone who has a victim mentality.

Number one, external blame.

They often point fingers at others or outside events for their problems.

Like saying, everyone's out to get me, instead of looking at their own actions.

Number two, a sense of powerlessness.

They feel like they have no control over what happens to them as if they're stuck and they can't make things better.

Self-pity.

They focus a lot on their struggles.

Sometimes making them seem worse than they are, which keeps them feeling like a victim.

Avoidance of responsibility.

Number four, they avoid owning up to their mistakes and prefer to say someone or something else caused their issues.

Defensiveness.

Defensiveness.

When someone gives them feedback, they might take it personally.

Get upset or see it as an attack instead of a chance to grow.

Number six, entitlement.

They may think they deserve extra sympathy or help from others because of their hardships.

Number seven, pessimism.

They tend to expect the worst, like thinking things will always go wrong or people will let them down.

Number eight, repetition of negative patterns.

They often end up in situations where they feel mistreated or taken advantage of as their mindset keeps pulling them into these cycles.

So all these characteristics, external blame, sense of powerlessness, self-pity, avoidance of responsibility, defensiveness, entitlement, pessimism.

Man, it happens a lot.

But everywhere they go, somehow they're done wrong and it ain't their fault.

Okay?

That's what someone who has a victim mentality acts like.

So if none of these are familiar to you, you need to go and have like a humility check.

Like this is convicting to me categorically on every single one of these.

And it should be convicting to us because this is baked into our Adamic, sinful nature, which we'll read about when we get to the Bible's definitions.

So that's what Grok says.

Okay?

Set that aside.

People make things up.

You know, what does the Bible have to say?

Maybe that's all wrong.

All right?

So now we're going to pivot to the Bible, see what the Bible has to say about victim mentality.

I think there's two stories.

I want to read two stories.

I think they're a good example of this.

The first is Adam and Eve.

Genesis chapter 3, verses 9 through 13.

Genesis 3:9–13

The context for this is God had commanded Adam to not eat the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

He forms Eve after this.

And you know the story.

They fall into sin.

They eat it.

They eat the apple.

Okay?

And so now they're in a state of sin.

And God's following up on it.

This is the context for this.

Verse 9.

But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, where are you?

And he said, Adam is hiding, by the way.

He'd made fig leaves for himself and he was covering himself up because he realized he was naked.

Him and his wife gloom.

And they're hiding from God.

All right?

And Adam said, I heard the sound of you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked and I hid myself.

And God said, who told you that you were naked?

Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?

The man said, the woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me the fruit of the tree and I ate it.

Then the Lord God said to the woman, what is this that you have done?

And the woman said, the serpent deceived me and I ate.

So, do any of these sound familiar?

External blame.

It's God.

You gave me this woman.

Each other.

You know.

The devil.

The devil made me do it.

Technically, those are all true.

See, that's the problem with this mentality is it takes facts, true things,

and warps them to defend you from your ownership of your own sin.

Sense of powerlessness.

She gave me the fruit and I ate.

I mean, what's it supposed to do?

She gave it to me, you know.

The serpent deceived me and I ate.

I just, I couldn't help it, you know.

I'm a woman, right?

I know that's offensive, but this is, this is,

this is the narratives we run, you know.

I mean, Paul says it.

He says, hey, listen, the reason women are not to hold a role of authority in the church

is because Eve was deceived and the man wasn't deceived.

He did it knowingly, okay?

He's more culpable.

That's a fact.

She's alluding to this right off the very beginning.

Does it absolve her of her moral agency?

No.

No.

She's accountable.

Anyway, self-pity.

Avoidance of responsibility.

They're immediately hiding, okay?

They're trying to hide from God.

They don't want to, you know,

they don't want to have this conversation that's about to happen.

Defensiveness.

God just asked, did you do it?

You realize that they didn't even,

they didn't just say yes.

They gave a case.

They started off with a case.

Yeah, the woman you gave me, you know,

she gave it to me and I ate it.

The serpent deceived me and I ate it.

He just said, did you do it?

Accountability just says yes.

You know, they didn't do that.

Blame shifting, hiding.

Defensiveness.

Entitlement.

They're garnering sympathy.

You gave me this, you know, woman.

You know how possible she is.

Give me fruit, you know, like,

it's just immediately.

It's the devil.

He's the deceiver.

Like, who could stand in the presence of the deceiver like that?

Of course I've got to see, you know, entitlement.

So I think these characteristics are pretty clear.

They're here.

Pessimism.

You know, they have a sense of foreboding,

driven by their guilt.

They're hiding from God.

Something bad's going to happen.

Guilt makes that happen.

You have a pessimistic outlook always.

You probably are loaded down with guilt.

It clouds everything.

Okay?

Repetition of negative patterns.

You see they had one sin,

and then they started stacking them all.

Okay?

They didn't stop the sinning.

It's blaming people.

It's hiding.

It's trying self-righteously to make some garments for yourself

and clothe yourself.

You know, they're just,

they're immediately in a cycle.

You know?

So anyway, I think those are all the Grok attributes, I guess,

and they seem pretty substantial.

You know, they're substantiated by this.

So seems to shake out here.

There's two more, though, that jumped out to me here.

I think this is where we start to see how Christian the Bible is.

The world doesn't think about certain things that God does.

You see they did some other things, too.

They started making self-righteous sacrifices.

They immediately started trying to deal with their sin and their guilt

with their own effort.

They make fig leaves,

try to cover themselves.

That's not in the Grok definition,

but I think it fits.

Okay?

That fits with how we are.

When we're locked in a cycle of victimhood,

you can see it play out like that.

We'll talk about that more later.

And then no conviction of sin.

You see, there is no conviction of sin.

They were sorry.

They were admitting it.

No.

There's no conviction of sin.

They hated the consequences.

They got caught.

They didn't hate the sin.

They hated that they got caught,

and they were trying to get out somehow of the consequences

by blaming other people,

throwing other people under the bus.

All right.

It's example number one.

Example number two.

Jesus' parable of the minas or the minas.

I don't know how to pronounce it,

but I'll call it minas.

Luke 19, verses 12 through 27.

Luke 19:12–27

He said,

This is Jesus speaking.

A nobleman went into a far country

to receive for himself a kingdom

and then return.

Calling ten of his servants,

he gave them ten minas

and said to them,

Engage in business until I come.

But his citizens hated him

and sent a delegation after him,

saying,

We do not want this man to reign over us.

When he returned,

having received the kingdom,

he ordered these servants

to whom he had given the money

to be called to him

that he might know

what they had gained by doing business.

The first came before him,

saying,

Lord,

your mina has made ten minas more.

And he said to him,

Well done,

good servant,

because you've been faithful

in very little.

You shall have authority

over ten cities.

And the second came,

saying,

Lord,

your mina has made five minas.

And he said to him,

And you are to be over five cities.

And then another came,

saying,

Lord,

here is your mina,

which I have laid away

in a handkerchief.

For I was afraid of you,

because you are a severe man.

You take what you did not deposit

and you reap what you did not sow.

And the master said to him,

I will condemn you

with your own words,

you wicked servant.

You knew that I was a severe man

taking what I did not deposit

and reaping what I did not sow.

Why then did you not put my money

in the bank

and at my coming

I might have collected it

with interest?

And he said to those who stood by,

Take the mina from him

and give it to the one

who has the ten minas.

And they said to him,

Lord,

he has ten minas.

You can see this kind of

humanistic,

humanistic,

like,

fairness mentality

creeping here.

It's just like,

what?

You're going to give this

to the one who has the most?

It's just like,

I mean,

share,

you know?

It's not the way the Lord works.

I tell you,

why?

Why does he do that?

I tell you that everyone

who has,

more will be given.

Okay?

But from the one

who has not,

even what he has

will be taken away.

But as for these enemies

of mine,

who did not want me

to reign over them,

bring them here

and slaughter them before me.

Whew,

man.

That is a brutal story.

There's a lot to say

about that principle.

I'm just going to say

this as an aside.

God is not like we are.

He's not a humanist.

He doesn't have

this weird sense

of fairness.

He has,

the economy

in his kingdom

is faithfulness.

If you are faithful

with little,

you will get more.

And if you are faithful

with that,

you will get more.

You know who God

gives stuff to?

People who've been

faithful with much.

He has no

quals

not giving you anything

if you're not faithful

with it.

Okay?

So,

setting that aside,

just,

you know,

this principle is all

over scripture.

I think it bears mentioning.

Okay,

but anyway,

back to the attributes

of,

of,

the grok attributes

of victim mentality.

We have them here.

External blame.

Servant blames his master

for his failure.

It's because you're

such a hard guy.

Like,

who could invest

with a guy like you?

Sense of powerlessness.

Sense of powerlessness.

He won't accept

that he has the ability

to go grow that investment.

You know?

It's magic.

I don't know all this,

you know,

investment stuff.

It's too risky,

you know?

I'm just gonna.

Self-pity.

He tries to elicit sympathy

for his disobedience.

Avoids responsibility.

He blames his master.

Again,

blame shifting.

He doesn't own

his own sinful fear

of failure.

He blames his master.

You're just too scary,

you know?

Entitlement.

Tries to get sympathy

by accusing his master

of being too hard.

Pessimism.

He just assumes

from the outset

it's not gonna go well

for him,

okay?

So you have it all there.

Every single one

of those things.

And then you have

the two extra,

the Bible ones,

right?

Self-righteous sacrifices.

Right?

I did the thing.

I hid the talent.

He thought that was

his bare minimum.

He's being a good boy.

I did what you said.

I took care of it.

Like,

don't you,

aren't you gonna accept me?

At least I didn't lose it,

right?

No.

And no conviction of sin.

Zero ownership.

Okay?

Blaming his master.

So there it is.

So anyway,

I think the Grok,

the Grok list

is a pretty good list.

It misses some stuff

because it's not,

it doesn't have a sense

of the need for atonement.

It doesn't have the sense

of the need for conviction

and repentance.

You know,

the rest of the Grok

overview of it,

you know,

had,

you know,

I think the worldly,

there's a lot of worldly tools

that are good at diagnosing problems,

but they have horrible solutions.

Its solution is horrible.

You know,

just like counseling and therapy

for,

you know,

how you've grown up

and how,

you know,

your parents messed you up

and stuff.

And sure,

all that stuff happens,

but the Bible has a much more

foundational problem assessment.

Sinner.

You need salvation.

It's a big problem.

It's so big,

Jesus had to come down

from heaven

and he had to fix it for you.

Okay.

It's a big one.

So,

anyway,

I'm going to

take a little time here

and just walk through

a few other attributes.

These are things

that stood out to me

just reading the Bible,

just kind of meditating on this.

So,

what does victim mentality

look like in the Bible

from these stories?

It's lack of repentance.

You can just say

as simple as that.

Victim mentality,

a pervasive victim mindset,

it just means

you haven't repented.

Okay.

That's all it means.

Lack of repentance.

It's an indication

that you are not

accepting responsibility

for your own sin.

And you have a really

complicated set of behaviors

that take that responsibility

that the Holy Spirit

is trying to give you

and you're farming it out.

You're putting it

on your circumstances

and people

and, you know,

all that kind of stuff

we just talked about.

It means you haven't repented.

Okay.

In other words,

I'm going to call this

victim mentality unrepentance.

They're synonyms,

but

the victim mentality

is just a helpful way

of thinking about it.

Okay.

Because we know

we can say,

oh, yeah,

I totally do that.

You say,

I don't think you've repented.

I've repented

from all known sin.

What are you talking about?

You say,

you're living in a victim mentality.

It's like,

well, yeah,

but you know,

makes sense.

My circumstances are really hard.

You would too, right?

No.

No,

they're the same thing.

Okay.

We're going to talk about why

in a little bit.

So,

some evidences

of victim mentality.

It's not going to,

doing all of the proof text

for this would take way too long,

so I'm just going to burn through these.

If you think these,

if you have a problem

with any of these,

I encourage you

to search it out

in the scriptures

and see if it's true.

Okay.

And I do have proof text

for some of these,

but I have 18 evidences

of victim mentality

unrepentance.

Okay.

Number one,

this is the easy one.

You avoid responsibility

for sin.

It's somebody else's fault.

Yeah,

yeah,

it's sin,

but so and so.

My wife made me do it.

I was stressed out at work.

I was tired.

Whatever.

You know.

Number two,

blame shifting,

which is basically

the outworking

of not taking responsibility

for sin.

It's,

I'm not taking responsibility

for sin

and this is what I do about it.

Okay.

It's blaming God,

blaming others,

blaming circumstances.

God did not make you sin.

Okay.

The Bible is very clear about this.

Is there a mystery there?

God's sovereign?

Yes.

But the Bible,

there are mysterious things

that are not plain

and then there are plain things

that are plain

and this is one of the plain things

that are plain.

God cannot be tempted with evil

nor does he tempt anyone

but each man is led astray

when he's tempted.

Okay.

It's you.

Can't shift the blame on God.

God didn't make you sin.

Other people didn't make you sin either.

What if they're super bad other people?

What if they're extremely provocative?

They can't make you sin.

They can't.

It's impossible.

No one can make you sin.

You are the only one

who makes you sin

according to the Bible.

Blaming circumstances.

Life's too hard.

Have you seen how much I got on my plate?

Surely it's reasonable

that I can blow out.

Look at the Son of God.

Okay.

Tempted in every way

like we are

says in the news

yet without sin.

Okay.

I'm going to move through these

a little quicker.

Easily offended.

What is that?

What do you mean easily offended?

How is that a sign of victim mentality?

Some of these are

like directly victim mentality things

and other things are like

things you do

when you have victim mentality

that might not be that obvious.

I think getting offended

is one of them.

On two points.

One is

you get offended at people

for not helping you

with your responsibilities

because you're avoiding it.

Okay.

You don't want to do

that hard thing

and so you want

other people to help you do it

and you get mad at them

when they don't.

Even though it's totally illegal.

It's yours.

God gave you to do that thing.

Okay.

Getting offended

at people who point out your sin

because you already have a case

that you're not a sinner.

How dare you say otherwise?

How dare you say otherwise?

I'm offended at you.

Okay.

Because you have a victim mentality.

Number four.

Makes excuses for other people's sins

because you're making excuses

for your own.

It clouds everything.

Avoids calling people to repent

because you're avoiding it too.

Okay.

Divisive gossiping.

I think this is an interesting one

that occurred to me

because this is me.

I've done this.

And the specific reason

I think how these are connected is

victims feel they have a right to gossip

because they've been done wrong.

That person doesn't deserve

a direct, loving, frank confrontation

because they've done me wrong.

So I now have a license to go

say all kinds of things about them

behind their back.

Victim mentality.

Taking up offenses for others.

This is where you agree

with another sinner's

controversy with God

or other people

because you have your own

controversy going on.

Okay.

So you're primed and ready

to take up an offense

as soon as you hear about it.

This especially shows up.

This is very interesting

in church discipline situations.

You know,

if you have any help

in this church,

we would plan to have

a larger church.

And it was very interesting

to see

in a few instances

of church discipline,

this flares up immediately.

And it's interesting

to see the people

who get super offended

by faithful practice

of Matthew 18's

church discipline.

And they immediately

take an underdog position

and assume

that that person's

being wronged.

And they're not.

It's telling.

It's telling about

what that person's lifestyle,

what their relationship

with the Lord is like.

They got a backlog

of justification

for why they're not

in the wrong.

And so when they see

someone held to an account

for being in the wrong,

it's like,

oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hold the phone.

That's terrifying

because they think

it might happen to me.

If I go on

in unrepentance,

what might happen to me?

Anyway,

that's an interesting one.

Can't handle

being misunderstood.

Because you're

justifying yourself

rather than resting

in Christ's justification.

If Jesus is my righteousness,

I don't need it

for being denied.

Okay?

But if I got this

victim mentality narrative,

I just got this whole case

I've been building

for why I'm right.

If you,

if you,

if you're accusing me

of something

and it seems to be

because you don't understand me,

it's just,

I can't handle that.

You have to understand

my case, right?

It's a beautiful case.

I've been working

on it for years.

Okay.

Rescue mentality

because you're waiting

for someone to rescue you,

not taking responsibility

for your own actions

so it just bleeds over

into other areas

of your life.

Unwillingness

to call people

to take responsibility

for themselves

because if you're a victim,

everyone else is too.

Right?

You already talked

about controversies.

complaining

because you have

a case against,

you have a case against God

that your circumstances

are just too hard

to not sin.

So it comes out

in complaining.

Okay.

Ministry mindset.

This is kind of

interesting one.

I was just thinking about

this doesn't seem

to be obvious.

Why would a ministry mindset

just getting

your sense of identity

through service

and ministry work,

why would this be connected

to this victim mentality?

It's a way of sacrificing.

You know,

you're trying to pay God off.

Yeah,

you got this controversy

over here with God,

between you and God,

but man,

I just,

I can't accept that

that's what God says

in my life,

so I'm going to try

to pay for it

by doing a whole bunch

of work for the Lord.

This is where the ministry

mindset comes in.

Doom and gloom

outlook on life.

You don't believe

God is good.

Escapism,

because life is too hard.

Life is too hard,

I have to have

a pressure relief off.

I got to escape

into something.

Envy and jealousy

of others,

gifts,

family,

spouse,

circumstances,

et cetera,

because you feel

like God did you wrong

with your lot in life.

If you just had

what they had,

then I could be

joyful in the Lord,

but I can't.

Insecurity,

because you feel

abandoned by God,

no confidence.

It's a long list.

I didn't know

where I was going

through,

but those are things

that came to mind.

I think there's a lot more.

This is like a tangled web.

This is just,

our victim mentality

is so baked

into our hard code,

we got it right

from our dad,

Adam.

Okay?

He had it,

and all of his kids

have it.

Okay?

So none of us

are above this,

but we need to know about it.

We need to have a category

for what it looks like

so that we can

repent from it.

We can put it off.

Okay?

So,

what does that look like?

What does repentance look like?

These are just a few things.

Repentance is a big deal.

Last stuff you said

about repentance,

I want to point out

a few things.

Number one,

it starts with conviction

by the Holy Spirit.

Jesus says in John 16,

8,

and when he,

referring to the Holy Spirit,

comes,

he will convict the world

concerning sin

and righteousness

and judgment.

Conviction,

it's a synonym

for being convinced.

You're convinced

of something.

You weren't convinced

of something before.

And then the Holy Spirit

had a conversation with you

about some stuff

and all of a sudden,

I'm convinced now.

I thought everyone else

was the problem

and then I had a talk

with Aslan

and now I realize

I'm the problem.

It's me.

There's no one else.

I'm the only one

responsible for my sin,

full stop.

Conviction.

That's what conviction is.

And it's essential.

If you don't have conviction,

then you can't have repentance.

Okay?

Everything else

is just religious games.

Okay?

Just playing with God.

Going through motions,

confessing sin.

This is why

confessing sin

isn't even necessarily

repentance.

Okay?

Have you owned it?

Because you can confess sin.

Yeah, I looked at porn,

but man,

my wife,

she just,

she's been cold and distant.

You know,

what are you going to do?

That's not,

that's not conviction.

So,

so,

what does this conviction

lead into?

It produces a heart

and mindset change

that results in

change behavior.

Matthew 3,

18 through 10,

John the Baptist said,

therefore,

bear fruit in keeping

with repentance

and do not suppose

that you can say to yourselves,

we have Abraham

for our father

or I'm a Christian,

I go to a good church,

you know,

apply this,

rework this in today's language

with, you know,

Christians here.

For I say to you

that from these stones,

God is able to raise up

children in Abraham.

The axe is already laid

at the root of the trees.

Therefore,

every tree that does not

bear good fruit

is cut down

and thrown into the fire.

It's,

it's futile to try

to pay God off

with sacrifices.

He wants repentance

and true conviction

results in heart change

that results in

life change.

It's,

it's,

it's to the extent

where he says

bear fruit,

real actions,

change,

things that happen

and change in your life.

Bear fruit

in keeping with

repentance,

which is the heart thing.

Okay.

So real heart change

produces fruit.

And then

this is an interesting one.

It doesn't stay

just a me God thing,

right?

Repentance.

It turns into

a ministry

of exhorting

others to repent.

And this is the,

this is the kicker here.

And it doesn't commiserate

with their sin anymore.

Okay.

It says,

wait a minute,

that sin was killing me.

And I had to be brought

to a place of accountability

in order to be right with God.

And now I see

their sin is killing them

and they have to be brought

to a place of accountability

to be made right with God.

So I'm not going to commiserate

with their sin anymore.

I'm not going to have long conversations

with other people about,

oh,

how hard their life is

and all the different reasons

why they're,

they needed to sin

and they needed to stay stuck

where they are

because it's poisonous.

It keeps them stuck.

And God had mercy on me

through his word

and through the faithful ministry

of people who didn't care

what I thought about them

and were willing to make me mad.

You know what?

I'm a really hard person

to confront.

Okay.

You pay for it.

My wife has paid for

confronting me with sin before.

So someone loved me so much

that they paid for it

because they love me.

Guess what?

You start being willing

to pay for it too

for other people.

Okay.

Wait a minute.

Okay.

Yeah.

I think a good example.

Oh, there we go.

There we go.

My notes mixed up.

A good example of this is Paul.

Paul was a reviler.

He's a persecutor of the church.

Acts 26, 20.

You know, he gets radically converted

in Acts 26, 20

towards the end of his,

you know, ministry in Acts.

He gives his testimony

of what his ministry

looked like after that.

And he said,

they went declaring,

you know,

through all the world,

I'm just going to summarize that part.

What was he declaring?

That men should repent

and turn to God,

performing deeds

appropriate to repentance.

See, Paul wasn't some Gnostic guy

who's just like,

oh, it's all in the heart, man.

You know,

the outside,

clean the inside of the cup,

the outside,

take care of itself.

Yes, it actually will.

That's why you can say,

repent,

turn to God

and perform deeds

in keeping with repentance

because out of the heart

flow all kinds of things

that are evident to everybody.

You shouldn't be scared of that.

And that was his ministry then.

Paul wasn't ashamed

of this ministry.

I mean,

he paid for it dearly.

He lost the approval

of so many people,

but he loved them faithfully

just like Jesus loved them.

You know,

the world hates you.

When he said,

the world can't hate you,

but it hates me

because I tell them

that their deeds are evil.

When we repent,

we go right on Jesus.

We get to be part of Jesus'

ministry on the earth.

And it's a wonderful thing.

You know,

not everyone will hear it,

but guess what?

When people do,

it's amazing.

You get a new friend.

You get a brother and sister

in the Lord.

It's wonderful.

Last is,

repentance

is essential for salvation.

You can't get around it.

Luke 13,

3 says,

Jesus is speaking to people.

No,

I tell you,

unless you repent,

you will all likewise perish.

Acts 2,

38,

Peter said to them,

repent and be baptized

every one of you

in the name of Jesus Christ

for the forgiveness

of your sins

and you will receive

the gift of the Holy Spirit.

It's essential.

Faith and repentance,

they're two sides

of the same coin.

Okay,

they go together.

So,

let's take it to heart.

I want to share

one example of repentance

from the Bible.

So we have a couple examples

of this victim mentality.

I want to share an example

of the opposite of that.

Real repentance.

What's it look like in practice?

The story of David

after Bathsheba,

after he falls into sin

with Bathsheba,

I think is an awesome one.

I'm not going to read

the whole thing.

If you want to read it later,

it's 2 Samuel 11 and 12.

It would take too long

to read it here.

But I am going to read

Psalm 51,

pieces of Psalm 51,

which is his prayer to God.

When you get insight

into his heart.

I think it's just awesome.

Psalm 51,

have mercy on me,

O God,

according to your steadfast love,

according to your abundant mercy,

blot out my transgressions.

Wash me thoroughly

from my iniquity.

Cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions

and my sin

is ever before me.

Against you only

have I sinned

and done what is evil

in your sight

so that you may be justified

in your words

and blameless

in your judgment.

Ownership.

Behold,

I was brought forth

in iniquity

and in sin

did my mother conceive me.

Behold,

you delight truth

in the inward being

and you teach me wisdom

in the secret heart.

Purge me with hyssop

and I shall be clean.

Wash me

and I shall be whiter than snow.

I think I'm going to bounce around

and just read a few

of the verses

throughout this

because I'm kind of

running down on time here.

Create in me

a clean heart,

O God,

and renew a right spirit

within me.

Then I will teach

transgressors your ways

and sinners

will turn to you.

For you will not

delight in sacrifice

or I will give it.

You will not be pleased

with the burnt offering.

The sacrifices of God

are a broken spirit,

a broken and contrite heart,

O God,

you will not despise.

Then you will delight

in right sacrifices

and burnt offerings

and whole burnt offerings.

Then bowls will be offered

on your altar.

See the complete contrast

between this

and those other examples before.

A deep conviction of sin,

okay?

He was cut to the heart

and he owned it

and he started off with that.

It's just me.

No one else made me.

It wasn't,

I was real lonely

because, you know,

all my whatever hundred wives,

I don't know how many wives he had.

He has no excuses,

but like,

he could have made an excuse

out of anything

because we are sinful.

We can make an excuse

out of anything.

I was just walking around

my roof and just,

whoa, there she was,

naked, washing.

How could I not?

You know?

He didn't do any

of that kind of stuff.

Before God,

I sinned, Lord.

He says,

I've sinned against you

and you only.

You see,

he owns that this is really

a him God thing,

okay?

Deep conviction of sin.

He blames self

instead of blaming others.

He has this sense of power

to repent from his own sin

instead of a sense

of self-justifying powerlessness.

He owns it.

He comes boldly

before the throne of grace.

He has godly sorrow

instead of self-pity.

He accepts responsibility

instead of avoiding it.

He's open to correction

instead of defensiveness.

He has zero entitlement.

He's not a Debbie Downer.

He has optimism

in the forgiveness

and restoration of God

after repentance,

you know?

This isn't some

woe is me

sort of self-flagellating repentance.

He's talking about

when God restores him,

what he's going to do

and how joyful it's going to be.

He's totally confident.

And then for the biblical categories,

he knows that

acceptable sacrifices

can only follow

after true repentance.

He makes no attempt

to go atone

for his sin

with sacrifices at all.

He knows

he's got something

to do first.

He's got to get right.

Then

he can offer sacrifices.

You see,

when we have a victim mentality,

we flip those.

We try to out-sacrifice

my guilty conscience.

That's bad.

That's disorder.

That's backwards.

We've got to get right with God.

God doesn't care

about all that stuff.

You know who he cares about?

A broken and contrite heart.

A right relationship

with him

through the one sacrifice

that he made

perfectly

for all time,

the Lord Jesus Christ.

He doesn't need your works

because he finished them already.

All of our works

are entering into

the finished work

of Jesus

that's prepared

ahead of time

for us to walk in.

We deny that truth

when we get

into ministry mindset.

We've got to ask ourselves,

we're obsessed

with ministry stuff.

Why?

A lot of ministry stuff's good,

but why?

Why?

Eagerness to restore sinners

in the same way

is the last one.

You see,

he not only is getting

right with God,

he knows

after I'm restored,

I'm going to teach

people about you

and then

sinners will return to you.

I'll teach transgressors

your ways.

It's a ministry.

That's why

if we're abdicating

a responsibility

to call people

in our fitness

and says something

about our walk with God,

full stop, okay?

It's not fun

to do this thing.

Nobody said

it was fun,

but it's salvation.

It's good.

Jesus did it,

Paul did it,

and when we're right

with God,

take it on.

We stop commiserating

with people.

It's like a doctor

who knows

their patient has cancer

and is just like

entering into

their pity party

with them

about their cancer

and prescribing

them payments.

It's wicked.

They deal with the cancer,

okay?

And then they'll get healed.

No one likes to hear

they got cancer,

okay?

That's not a fun

conversation ever.

No doctor's like it.

Why do they do it?

It's their job,

it's their responsibility,

and they actually love people.

That's what we need

to be like.

Okay,

so,

that's what repentance

looks like.

It's the complete opposite

of victim mentality.

What David did

after sinning grievously

with Bathsheba

and murdering her husband

and covering it up,

okay?

Like,

it's a great example.

Repentance,

it applies to

any sin

no matter what.

This is the opposite

of victim mentality.

This is what true repentance

looks like.

So,

I have some specific

applications of this

for Christchurch.

Just praying through

our church,

looking at my own life.

I'm on the roster

for some of this stuff,

okay?

So,

I would encourage you,

don't think about

other people.

Think about yourself.

Resist the temptation

to be like,

oh yeah!

Be,

Lord Jesus,

I want to have a conversation

with you right now.

What about me?

Okay?

So,

those are the hardest

things to hear

and our minds

are pre-programmed

to avoid that.

Okay?

We're programmed

to think about

other people.

We're predisposed,

like we've been evading

our whole life.

We've been evading

our responsibility

our whole life.

We're really good at it.

And so,

we need to ask God

for humility.

Lord,

talk to me.

Okay,

so,

here's some things.

Number one,

take responsibility

for your own sin.

God is not responsible

for your sin.

Others are not responsible

for your sin.

you are.

Read James 1,

James 1:13–17

verse 13 through 17.

Read 1 Corinthians 10, 13.

No temptation

has overtaken you,

such is not common to man.

But God is faithful

and will,

with the temptation,

make a way of escape

so you can bear it.

Is that true?

Yes or no?

If it's true,

you have zero

room to stand on

by saying God's responsible

for your sin

or other people

responsible.

Okay?

You gotta own it.

Number two,

take responsibility

for mission

and discipleship

and instead of expecting

other people

like leaders,

other more sure people,

oh,

they're more mature than me,

they'll take care of that,

to do it for you.

No.

God has given you

a mina

that he's going to give,

call you to account for

and no one else

in the entire world.

Okay?

Don't avoid

the responsibility of that.

Don't get irritated

at other people

because they're not

helping you

with the thing

that he told you to do.

Okay?

That's not partnership.

That's,

anyway,

that's just passing the buck.

Number three,

own your responsibility

for your family,

your children,

your spouse,

your parents.

Don't farm it out

to other people.

It's the same thing.

They're one of your means.

Okay?

Get help,

get partnership,

get prayer,

get counsel,

but own the responsibility

yourself.

The Bible's very clear

about this in divine order.

We have lots of verses

we could talk about that

for a long time.

Next one,

own your responsibility

to the church.

Speak the truth in love.

Submit to authority.

Receive and give

frank correction

instead of passive-aggressively

gossiping.

Like,

we need to own this stuff.

Next one,

own your finances

instead of harboring

a poverty mentality

and depending on others.

Like,

the question is,

is God your provider

or not?

Okay?

Does he own the cattle

on a thousand hills

or whatever or not?

If he does,

let's take that promise

to the bank.

Okay?

Own hospitality.

Who cares if other people

aren't doing it?

Are you doing it?

Are you opening wide

your heart

to other people

and basically

kind of have an amnesia

with respect to how

other people are doing about it?

It's one of the words

of the year,

hospitality.

We're trying to grow

in that this year.

Forget about what other people

are doing.

Just do it yourself.

Right?

Family.

Sorry,

family,

not hospitality.

Thank you.

My wife gave me the look.

Ruthlessly kill excuses.

Discontentment is an excuse.

It's from not getting

your desires met.

Okay?

James 4 is really clear

about this.

Have you learned

the secret of contentment

like Paul?

Paul had Jesus

in a prison

and he was a happy,

happy man.

Why is that not

the case for you?

Same Jesus,

same Savior.

Loneliness and self-pity.

Same thing.

Contentment with Jesus.

Paul was not lonely

in his prison.

He had the Lord Jesus.

Okay?

He was overflowing.

Somehow,

he figured out

how to just be

an overflowing well

of blessing

to Christians

all over the world

alone in prison.

That's God's will for you.

God's got you

in a lonely season of life.

Guess what?

He wants you to overflow

through your relationship

with Jesus.

Lack of obedience.

I got too much

on my plate

to obey God.

Maybe in your own strength,

yes.

Maybe God's loaded you up

so you would not

trust yourself but God.

Okay?

Unwillingness to receive

correction.

We've already talked

about that.

Lack of prayer

and Bible reading.

I think this is just

a Christian practical.

It seems like

one of the first things

to go and the excuse is

my life's just too busy.

I have too much

on my plate.

No, you don't.

Never forever

for the rest of your life

you don't.

Seek first the kingdom

of God

and his righteousness.

All these things

will be added to you.

One thing is needful,

Jesus said,

to sit at my feet

and hear my word.

We always,

as a born again believer

in Jesus,

have time to sit alone

with Jesus

and pray to our Father

through Jesus

to fellowship

with the Holy Spirit

to read his word

and be edified

so that we can edify

other people.

We always do

100% of the time

and he'll protect it.

You know what he said

about Mary?

One thing is needful

and it will not

be taken from her.

God will never

take away your time

to pray

and spend time

with him and his word.

Okay?

So forget about it.

Stop letting that

be an excuse.

Stop escaping.

Jesus says,

in this world

you will have trouble.

Our life is going

to be hard.

But take heart.

I've overcome the world.

Okay?

Yes,

if you're following Jesus

you're going to have

a hard life.

Like,

praise the Lord.

Jesus had a hard life.

And when he comes back

we're going to have

experiential physical rest

from our labors.

We can have spiritual rest

now with a hard life

through his rest.

Stop envying

and comparing yourself

with other people.

Who cares what God

gave them?

Okay?

Stop using that

as an excuse

for your own discontentment.

It's wicked.

Okay?

Put off insecurity.

Don't be an insecure person.

It's almost like this

like almost like a virtue

to be kind of like

insecure.

No.

Does Jesus Christ

the Lord of heaven and earth

live inside of you

or not?

It's a yes or no question.

If he is

he's the same

yesterday and today

and forever

and everything's

under his feet.

All authority

on heaven and earth

has been given to him.

He commands you

to go there forth

and make disciples.

He commands you

to speak the truth

in love.

It's his.

It's his power

and his glory.

In fact

he is glorified

more

when we have people

who are weak.

That's why he picked him.

That's why he picked us.

Cease from your own works

instead of being

a ministry Martha.

Have you entered

God's rest

such that you can relax

and enjoy people

or is everyone

a ministry project to you?

I think this is key.

We're talking about

building family.

This ministry mindset

you can get into it

for so long

we don't even realize

why we can't

enjoy people

and why people

don't enjoy being around us.

That's me.

I've made people

feel so uncomfortable

for so long in my life

because I've treated

everyone like a problem

to solve

and it destroys fellowship.

Okay.

It's evidence

of self-righteous

sacrificing.

I'm trying to

I'm trying to

please Jesus

through all my

ministry stuff

and I just can't relax

because I'm not

at rest in the

finished work of Jesus.

You know

encourage people

to take responsibility

for themselves.

This is related

to the call

to repentance.

They call it

take responsibility

for ourselves.

If you're taking

responsibility

for yourself

you encourage

people to take

responsibility

for themselves.

You can't repent

for them.

You can't rescue them.

Some of the

rescuing mindset

comes from.

It's so crazy

how these things

actually show us

what we think

about ourselves.

Rescuers

are people

who feel

like they need

to be rescued.

They're not

taking responsibility

for their life.

So we need to

fight against that.

We need to take

responsibility

for ourselves.

Last point.