James 1:19-27

I am going to be finishing up James chapter 1, verse 19, all the way through.

James 1:19

But by way of introduction, probably most of you guys are already familiar with this.

It's a very famous passage talking about listening.

But before I get into it, I just wanted to give a little bit of my background on this passage.

This has been a topic, listening, that's been extremely pertinent in our marriage.

But also, just by way of me being stubborn and bullheaded, I actually went to school for counseling and life coaching.

And an enormous amount of the time that I spent was in practicing and learning to be a good listener.

For which, the day I got married, I completely discarded.

And we had really knocked down drag-out fights for the first few years.

And it was actually the Lord's grace.

A couple of our really good friends were sharing with us some of the things that they have learned when they were doing marriage counseling that were really helpful for them.

And one of them was a little listening exercise where one person has the responsibility of listening while the other person speaks.

And then it switches.

And you take turns listening.

You take turns prioritizing listening.

You essentially take turns prioritizing what the scripture is about to tell us.

Now, the ironic thing was, I actually already knew all of this stuff.

And I'd already practiced all of this stuff, especially with my friends.

But in the context of marriage, I had very little desire or patience to implement what I had already learned.

But by that point, we both started practicing and practicing listening to one another.

And we were able to resolve our fights.

And in general, we've gotten better over the years at resolving fights to the point that many people, when they do come to us for counsel in marriage,

the main thing we spend time doing is trying to help them learn to prioritize listening rather than winning their arguments.

Okay, I say all that to say, this week, I'm preaching on this topic.

On Thursday, we got in a huge knockdown drag out fight.

And it fundamentally was because I was refusing to listen.

I was fundamentally defending myself.

I was fundamentally refusing to listen, even to the point that I knew I wasn't listening and aware that I was preaching on this on Sunday.

And she brought it up and I still didn't.

All that to say, I am not the all the time exemplar of these things.

A lot of these things are easier to say than they are to do.

And a lot of the reason that it makes it difficult to listen well is because the sacrifice that takes place in real time

in order to maintain a disposition that prioritizes listening to the other party rather than defending yourself.

Full disclosure.

Sometimes I do a decent job at this.

Sometimes I do a decent job.

I do a decent job at this.

Anyway, I'm going to go ahead and read this first part and then we're going to keep on going.

Starting in verse 19.

Am I loud enough back there?

Louder?

Wow.

Man, I hope I can speak loud enough, you guys.

All right.

Just yell.

I think I just got to yell.

Go for it.

It's right here.

Wow.

Okay.

Verse 19.

Know this, my beloved brothers.

I love that he starts this by speaking of them as beloved.

It's an inclusion.

He's including them in relationship.

He's speaking to people who are in relationship to him.

My beloved.

Know this, my beloved brothers.

Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

Just by way of priority, we're going to keep on going.

But by way of priority, he's saying, when you're in conversation, the most important thing, listen.

The lesser important things, getting your point across and defending yourself.

Which I'm saying, defending yourself as being equivalent, being slow to anger.

Why do we get angry?

Because we're trying to defend ourselves.

Okay?

So if we can decrease in importance, speaking, getting our own point across, defending, being quick to anger, and exalting, listening to the other party, there's something of a promise in this sequence.

I'll keep on going.

Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

What's he saying there?

When we are defensive and quick to anger, we are not being a catalyst of sanctification in the lives of other people.

We are being a hindrance to sanctification in the lives of other people.

Okay?

The scripture doesn't tell us not to be angry.

It says, be angry and sin not.

Or be slow to anger.

There is a time to defend.

Jesus was very angry when he cleared out the money changers in the temple.

They were desecrating the house of the Lord and required intervention.

There is a time to be anger.

To have anger.

According to this, though, we need to remember that when we extend anger to people,

maybe it's appropriate.

We are not sanctifying them.

Anger does not build up and sanctify a person.

It opposes them.

It crushes them.

I think it's similar to the law.

The law certainly points out our defects, but it does not help us in our sanctification at all.

When we extend anger, when we are quick to anger with people, we in no way are building them up.

I think we should remember this even for our own children.

You can facilitate compliance in other people that is not improving their character at all.

They're just scared of you.

They're just appeasing you while you're around.

There is nothing being sanctified here.

Anger does not produce the righteousness of God.

So I want you guys to hear here.

Anger does not produce the righteousness of God.

But I want to keep on going because there is something that produces fruit.

Next verse, verse 21.

Most people, I think there's a tendency with James to chop up his quotable quote verses too much

and not realize that they're all in continuity.

They're actually referring to each other.

This one especially, everyone knows, be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry.

But we tend to chop off the two verses that come right after it that provide more meaning in my opinion.

Verse 20.

For the anger of man does not produce righteousness of God.

Verse 21.

So again, he's talking about receiving again.

We're back to listening.

How should you listen?

By receiving with meekness the implanted word which is able to save your souls.

So now we are talking about sanctification.

We are talking about being saved from things.

There is a way both before the Lord and before other people that we can have a spirit of meekness and soft-heartedness

that if they happen to be telling us something that we actually need to change and repent in,

we are soft ground that that might produce fruit.

And if we might be in a position to extend something to them that they need to hear,

we have a disposition of listening and meekness that they would receive it better from us.

Make sense?

One of the big errors I think that we make in listening, let's say,

is believing that we are the rescuer,

believing that we are right,

and believing we already know.

These are all the opposite of meekness.

When we are approaching someone so as to listen to them,

I think it's of the utmost importance that we're viewing the Lord as His grace is eminent,

and that when we listen well to others,

we can extend something to them of gracious fellowship that sets them up to be able to hear from the Lord

and be extremely fruitful.

It is my experience.

There's many, many times when a person is having a very difficult time,

and you really take the time to listen to them,

listen to them well,

anticipating giving a bunch of counsel,

anticipating having to persuade them.

But when you give it some time,

you can see many people start untangling the knot that is themself

because they're in an environment where the Lord's grace is evident,

and they have the Holy Spirit,

and they can hear from the Lord themselves.

I would submit to you,

the most powerful outcome by way of conversation

is when a person just hears from the Lord.

Be that by you,

or be that by their own reflection,

or be that by the many different ways.

You know what I'm saying?

And I think that there is a meekness in conversation

that is anticipating the Lord revealing something

and us just being receptive,

and doesn't assume you're already right.

I think oftentimes we already assume we know and we're right.

So, I just want to give a couple of suggestions,

or by way of practice.

I think that one really good principle

as we're trying to grow in listening

is to,

especially in conflict.

I think actually this is what I would suggest.

When you are anticipating conflict or disagreement,

first and foremost,

planning on entering in with truly listening.

I really want to completely hear out the other side.

Number one.

Number two,

trying to limit your speaking.

This is the most important thing.

Try to limit your speaking

to questions,

and if you need,

reiterating what the other person said.

What do I mean by that?

When we prioritize listening

and ask good questions,

it helps a person divulge more.

It helps a person come more into the light.

And,

sometimes when we're exposed,

we can be naturally defensive

because of shame,

that when someone takes the time to reiterate,

it helps them lose their defensiveness.

Okay?

I believe

listening to a person

is something like

therapeutic anesthesia

for counsel.

What do I mean by that?

If you're

needing to replace

someone's heart,

we could anesthetize them

so that their body's totally limp

and we can be extremely surgical

and accurate,

careful,

or we could just go ahead

and like give it a run

while they're fully awake.

Old school.

Old school.

There is a way

of rearranging these priorities

where we approach

confrontation like that

thinking that it won't go any worse.

But it is my experience

that when you listen to people well

and they feel listened to,

you gain a level of trust

that when you go to speak,

they don't fight you on every point

because they feel like

they don't need to defend themselves.

You're essentially removing

the veil of self-defensiveness.

This is a,

the more important a disagreement is,

the more important this is.

Which is why

I would really recommend

if you feel like

you need to grow on this,

think of confrontations

or difficult conversations,

approach them

with the high priority of listening,

and then try to entirely limit yourself

for a certain duration,

maybe even just pick 10 minutes

to only asking questions

and reiterating their points.

Not even putting forth

your own perspective

or defending your own position

for a certain duration.

I think there are many people

that haven't even had the hope

of how well disagreements can go

because they've never seen them go well

in these criteria.

You can disagree

and get on the same page with people

in such remarkable ways.

And I think there's two things

that we do advocate

whenever we don't do this well.

The other person could be right

and we might need to be learning from them.

And if we have this meekness,

it'll produce much fruit.

But also,

the other person might be wrong

and they might need to really hear from us.

And we've set them up

for having experience of our input

not being something

that's like the surgeon

that just goes ahead

and tries to do it without anesthesia.

You know what I'm saying?

This is of the utmost importance.

However important the truth

that is under this umbrella

of conversation is,

our listening should,

we should feel like the listening

has that same level of priority.

Because really,

when you come in

believing that you're right

and advocating for your own position

and defending your own position,

you automatically put the person

in a position of being back on their heels

and defending themselves.

Which is a horrible, horrible environment.

Not only for the Lord to speak,

but for us.

It's, what is it?

It doesn't produce

the righteousness of God.

It's not building up the body.

It's leading to division.

And I think that's really

the difference in disposition here.

One path creates fellowship

and creates unity.

And another path creates

tearing down

and even divisiveness.

Because we can't listen.

I believe that fundamentally

listening in the way

the Lord calls us to

creates an environment

where people are able

to graciously see

how they really are

and be eligible

for the Lord's input

in a very powerful way.

This is the environment

of speaking the truth in love.

The environment

that marries grace and truth.

It says that

Moses brought the law,

but Jesus Christ came

in grace and truth.

There is an environment

where we

are being meek

before the Lord

and actually creating

a fellowship

and connection

to the Lord's intervention

that makes

the Lord's

grace

be catalyzed

by our being

more like Him

to another person.

If that makes sense.

Incredibly important.

Okay.

I'm going to hop on down

to verse 21.

Therefore,

put away all filthiness,

rampant wickedness,

and receive with meekness

the implanted word

which is able

to save your souls.

I believe this is a reference

both to the previous paragraph

that was talking about

desire,

giving birth to sin,

and sin,

giving birth to death.

That there's an extent

to which things creep up

in our hearts

and that we need

to pull those weeds.

But I also think

that this is referring

to

us

needing to repent

of the things

that get in the way

of us having this

meekness and good listening.

Having a disposition

of meekness

and listening well

to other people

that actually

can be very fruitful

and I think

even his reference here,

able to save your souls,

there's an extent

to which sanctification

is a constant saving

of a person

from specific things.

If you think about it,

even in our conversations

and disagreements,

most of them

do pertain

to things that are

an issue

that need to be addressed.

There's weeds in real life

that need to be pulled.

You know what I mean?

And we are being sanctified

by being continually saved

from the many things

that beset us.

And I believe

that this verse here

is giving us

these two different paths

where we defend ourselves

and actually tear people down

and it doesn't produce

righteousness of the Lord

or receive with meekness

and it produces much fruit

and it can even save.

What a beautiful thing.

That's actually another

synonym for sanctification

is being saved.

Okay?

Okay, I'm going to keep on going.

Now we're going to switch

to a little bit

of a different topic

but there's actually

enormous overlap

between these two concepts.

Verse 22.

But be doers of the word

and not hearers only.

Deceiving yourselves.

So he's talking about

hearing and listening

and now he's moving to

what you learn

and know

let it be reflected

in your life.

Okay?

But be doers of the word

and not hearers only.

Deceiving yourself.

So,

when we know something,

when we have learned something

but don't live it out,

James is calling us deceived.

But we are deceived.

We are deceived.

Okay?

Many of the points

that James makes

over this entire book

have to do with

what proceeds from us

and have to do with

us having half of the equation

and not the other half

and therefore having nothing.

So in this regard,

he's saying

if you have learned

but don't live,

you're deceived.

Okay?

He also cares a lot.

This is across the book of James,

not just here.

He cares a lot about

what proceeds from us.

What we speak

and what we do.

This is what proceeds from us.

What we do

and what we speak.

James cares a lot

about these things.

In the same spirit

of what Jesus said,

it's not what goes in you

that defiles you,

it's what comes out of you.

James is very concerned

about what is coming

out of you.

You're supposedly learning

what are you doing?

What does your life say

you know?

Not your words.

Okay?

Be doers of the word,

not hearers only.

Last point I want to make.

I think N.T. Wright said this,

that Christianity

is a play

that the Lord revealed

for us to act out,

which is to say

Christianity is a lift.

Okay?

Similar to my intro to James.

Wisdom is lift.

Well, I think Christianity is lift.

James is going to say this

a bunch of times.

When I was in

the conservatory,

I was in class

with one of the graduate students

and he said something to me

that stuck out with me

because he was actually

referring to it.

he's a believer.

One of the things he said

a lot of,

in the school I went to,

a lot of people would argue

about music.

There's a lot of criticism

and critique.

A lot of being

in the critical position

where you're not

the one in the arena.

You're the person

critiquing the people

in the arena.

One of the things he said

that I thought was very wise

is he said,

music is not understood

in its notation.

It's understood

in its performance.

What he means is,

I know how well

you know the music

when I see you play it.

Anybody can just

dog on someone.

But can you play it?

What is it?

What are you showing

by the way you're playing it?

And I think that

James is making

a similar point here.

We don't get

any credit

in Christianity

for knowing the right answers.

We get credit

for living them out.

And I think

if there's any

one great heresy

on the conservative

what's called

the conservative

Protestant side of things,

the not liberal

holding two historical doctrines,

you know,

not off our rocker

traditional gender roles,

all this stuff,

the conservative

Protestant we,

it's by,

I think there's

any one great area

that seems to permeate.

It's treating

Christianity

like a religion

that gives you credit

for knowing the right answer

irregardless of your practice.

I think there's a lot

of scholarly

hearers

and not doers,

not practitioners

of the word,

hearers of the word.

I think that's what

James is talking to here.

Maybe not be so.

You know,

maybe we know

we get no credit

for having the right answer.

He's going to say

the same thing

when he talks about

faith without works,

which again,

he makes a lot

of the same points here.

Okay, sorry.

That was a long time.

One verse.

For if anyone

is a hearer of a word,

hearer of the word,

and not a doer,

he is like a man

who looks intently

at his natural face

in the mirror,

for he looks at himself

and goes away

and at once forgets

what he was like.

I always think of this verse,

again,

fighting with my life.

We'll get in fights

and a few days later

she'll be like,

have you thought any more

about what we were

talking about

and I'll be like,

ah,

what were we talking about?

I remember it didn't go well.

How unselfaware.

Again, guys,

I'm not the best example

of these things.

Okay.

For if he looks at himself

and goes away

and at once forgets

what he looks like,

but the one,

this is where James

goes in a very different direction

than you would anticipate

about someone

who's not living out

what they believe,

he takes it

a very different direction.

He doesn't say

you need to practice more.

But the one

who looks into

the perfect law,

the law of liberty

and perseveres,

being no hearer

who forgets,

but a doer

who acts,

he will be blessed

in his doing.

Okay.

There is a mirror

that you can look into

called liberty.

It's called

the law of liberty.

This is in contrast

to the law

of Moses

that condemns.

There is another law

that you can look into

that shows a reflection

of who you are

but sets you free.

There is a law

that is the law

of Moses

that shows us

how wicked we are

but gives us

no hope.

Okay.

There is another law

called liberty

that you can peer into

that will set you free.

And the kind of freedom

I'm talking about

is the kind of freedom

to where

what you believe

and what you do

and what you love

are all unified.

That kind of freedom.

You're no longer

divided against yourself.

You're set free.

I believe

that this law,

the law of liberty,

is really coming boldly

before the throne of grace.

I believe

that what this is talking about

is

in Christ

we can have

so much grace

and mercy

extended to us

that we're able

to see ourselves

exactly as we are

and have no condemnation

but actual freedom

from our sin.

Okay.

The big analogy

I think of here

is one of my favorite scenes.

If you guys have seen

the musical Les Mis,

I love that story

but one of the things

that's so powerful

about that story

is

he

you know

the bishop takes him in

is caring for him

and then he

steals from him

and even knocks him out

so that he can escape

and the police catch him

bring him back

and when he

brings him back

the bishop tells the police

thank you so much

for bringing him back

you forgot the candlesticks

and really

this

changes his whole life.

Why?

He saw himself

exactly as he was

and how much

he had wronged this man

but he received

so much mercy

and grace

in the midst of it

that it literally

set him free.

He became one man

that day.

Right?

There is a way

in which

when we first

come to the Lord

we receive

so much

grace

we experience

so much

liberty

because we can

see exactly

as we are

and not

shrink back

and become

a mess

like we would

under the law

but we actually

find ourselves

experiencing freedom.

When we beat our chest

and say forgive me

oh God a sinner

we actually

go away

set free.

There is

a law

called liberty

that is a mirror

that gives us

what I would call

divine self-awareness.

I think

divine self-awareness

is a Christian ideal.

I don't think

self-obsession

is a Christian ideal

and I don't think

pretending like

our sin doesn't

stink that bad

is a Christian ideal.

I think that

because of the cross

we can peer

and see ourselves

exactly as we are

and come boldly

before the throne

of grace

and partake

of this law.

This is like

this is not like

a law

like a bunch of rules

this is like

a law of the universe.

Like this is something

like the laws

of aerodynamics

that keep planes

in the air.

This is like

a law

that allows

for the train

to traverse

because of

the way

that it is able

to be fully supported

by the steel rails

that go under it.

This is a law

that gives freedom

not restriction.

We think of a law

as restriction

but

let's say

a fish

is very thankful

for the ability

of their

gills

to

be able

to interact

with the environment

and the laws

of physics

that provide oxygen

in the water

and the fish

is not going

to do so well

when outside

of the water

and I think

there's an extent

to which

we as Christians

experience

great freedom

and liberty

but then

move on

from it

not wanting

to see ourself

in our shame

if that makes sense.

I think a Christian

never loses

we should never

lose the willingness

to see ourselves

exactly as we are

and I think

this even comes

back around

to listening.

I think

that listening

is in the spirit

of

divine self-awareness

let's say

an environment

of grace

where people

see how they

really are

and get freedom

from it

but I also

think

even how we

are before

the Lord

has enormous

amount

to do with this

like where

is our heart

when issues

come up

when we see

ourselves

in fault

are we defensive

or can we

see ourselves

in the way

that the Christ

sees us

which is

everything

is paid for

and we can

actually have

freedom

and this is

again coming

back around

this idea

of the truth

will set you

free

and here's

my question

is the truth

setting

the hearer

free

or the speaker

free

I believe

the truth

can set

both of them

free

sometimes

you need

to speak

the truth

and confess

what's going

on in your

life

and sometimes

you need

to graciously

speak the truth

to someone

else

that they

might be

free

and I

think the

truth

can set

both of

those people

free

and I

think

what makes

the truth

what is it

what makes

the truth

surgically

effective

is grace

and listening

and how those

things overlap

okay

I think there's

some divine

self-awareness

that is transformative

for relationships

both husband

and wife

let's say

but also

with the Lord

it's a very

powerful thing

all right

thank you

he can tell

my mouth

is very dry

I almost

I meant to

bring some

water up

thanks Sam

all right

I'm bringing

this full circle

and this plane

all right

verse 26

if anyone

thinks he

is religious

and does

not bridle

his tongue

but deceives

his heart

this person's

religion

is worthless

what are you

talking about

James

I thought

Christianity

is a relationship

not a religion

sorry I had

to say that

James is

referring to

Christianity

as a religion

okay

he's meaning

religion

in the capital

R sense

what is the

most important

and meaningful

metaphysical

reality

of all of

life

what is God

like and how

does he want

you to live

Christianity

is a true

religion

it is the

true religion

and James

is saying

if anyone

thinks

he's

participating

in the true

religion

let's say

and does

not bridle

his tongue

but deceives

his heart

this person's

religion

is worthless

James is going

to say a lot

of things like

this

James

probably

maybe more

than any

other author

in the

all of

scripture

has the

most things

to say

about being

careful

about what

you speak

I can't

think of

another author

that brings

up being

careful about

what you

speak as

much as

James does

if you

do not

bridle

your tongue

also

coming back

to listening

the thing

that gets

us in

trouble

is not

being able

to bridle

our tongue

right

how many

things

this is

actually a

good thing

for you

guys to

even remember

even for

our own

parents

the things

that most

wounded us

about our

parents

was it

what they

did

or was it

what they

said

I think

often times

the most

wounding

things a

parent

ever do

is the

things that

they say

with

unbridled

tongue

there's other

things too

that make a

huge impact

abandoning a

child

things like

this

I think

one of the

most relatable

failures as a

parent

is speaking

to their

children with

the unbridled

tongue

how much

do we do

that to

others

how much

do I do

that

I just

do that

on Thursday

sorry babe

all right

verse 27

religion that

is pure

and undefiled

before God

the Father

is this

to visit

orphans and

widows in

their affliction

and to keep

oneself unstained

from the

world

one of the

reasons I

love this

verse is

he is

talking about

what

Christianity

is which

is the

Lord

fundamentally

confronting

the orphan

nature of

humanity

and welcoming

them into

the father

into the

family of

God

okay

that is

what

Christianity

is we

are all

orphans

and the

Lord has

come for

us

right

when we

are transformed

by the

gospel

one of the

implications

of that

is our

relationship

to this

kind of

issue

the issue

of family

the issue

of orphans

the issue

of widows

and there

is something

that the

Lord is

producing in

us that

is a

transformation

of the

heart

that believes

in the

power of

the Lord's

kingdom

the Lord's

family

advancing

okay

and I

believe

that

to visit

orphans and

widows in

their affliction

is another

way of

saying

there are

people that

experience great

suffering

they're orphaned

and widowed

and those are

the people that

the gospel

pertains most

evidently to

you know what I

mean

I think actually

this is another

irony of the

gospel

sometimes it can

be tempted when

we're trying to

preach the gospel

to look to

preach to people

who have their

life together

when the people

who are actually

most accessible

to it are the

people who are

hot messes

you know what I

mean

this is even in

part what the

parable of the

wedding feast is

where we invite

all the friends

of the family

and they don't

come but then

we go out to

the street and

invite the

homeless and

they all come

there's an

extent to which

again this

pertains to us

as evangelists

we should be

looking for

people who

are hungry for

the gospel

not just people

who don't look

like a huge

piece of work

because most

of the people

who receive the

gospel the best

are a huge

piece of work

the orphans

and the widows

you know what

I'm saying

liability

liability

persons

just like us

and then he

says and to

keep oneself

unstained from

the world

which I guess

I think too

one of the

great dilemmas

in being a

Christian is

being in the

world but not

of the world

you know what

I mean

even as we

go forth

being in a

position where

you maintain

influence and

honor before the

Lord

but don't get

like caught in

the snares of

this world

it's a beautiful

thing

it's a beautiful

thing that we

could navigate

this world

and be unstained

by it

that's what

the Lord is

so just in

summary

I think

that

listening

and having

let's call it

divine

self-awareness

these are

incredibly

important things

by way of

living a wise

Christian life

and there are

also things

that there is

so much

of our life

that can

become

untangled

whenever

the Lord

builds us

up in these

things

there's so

many

issues

in our

marriages

and even

with our

kids

that need

to be

reconciled

by way

of listening

and there's

so many

things in

our own

heart

that we're

perhaps

burying

by way

of

hiding

from the

light

I think

that in

a lot

of ways

what he's

saying

is we

should

live

in the

light

you can

receive a

lot of

grace

from the

Lord

such that

you believe

in the

power of

the light

to deliver

I think

living in

the light

and the

law of

liberty

are the

same

thing

I think

that's

what the

Lord's

willing to

set us

free

into

so I'm

going to

go ahead

and close

in prayer