Jesus: Let me clarify this 'divorce' thing. . .

If you would turn in your Bibles to Matthew 5, we're in the Sermon on the Mount, which

remember is the inaugural address of King Jesus.

And he tackles the very controversial subject of divorce this morning.

So would you open to Matthew 5, 31 and 32, and let me read.

It was also said, whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.

But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality,

makes her commit adultery.

And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

If this morning you've come into this building wondering if you should divorce your spouse,

I'm glad that you're here.

You need to hear what Jesus has to say this morning.

If you've come into this building this morning, and when you hear the word divorce for only

the grounds of sexual immorality, and you realize that you've divorced for something other than that,

and then remarried, you may be coming here, and you've got this huge lump in your throat.

Your heart's dropping.

You need to hear what Jesus is saying here.

If you're single, and you're thinking about getting married, hoping to get married,

you need to hear what Jesus is saying here.

Because Jesus is talking about marriage in a way that we don't hear in our culture.

He's got something to say about marriage, and He's got something to say about divorce.

And so this morning, Jesus is speaking to us, and He's saying, let me clarify this divorce thing.

What we're going to see this morning is that marriage is an exclusive, lifelong, one-flesh union

between one man and one woman joined together by God Himself.

Marriage is sacred.

Marriage is sacred.

The way I want to help you see this this morning is by introducing you to a debate that was taking place in first century Palestine.

It gives some backdrop to the situation historically that Jesus was speaking into.

And so, I want to help you to understand the debate.

We're going to go way back to Deuteronomy 24 to help you see that.

And then, I want to help you see where the Pharisees came down, these teachers of the law in Jesus' day,

where they came down on this very debate.

And so, in order to help you see that, we're going to go to Matthew 19, 3-9.

And then, we're going to bring it all together back in Matthew 5.

And we're going to learn what Jesus has to say about all things.

We're going to spend a lot of time in Matthew 19 this morning.

I'll explain why in a little bit.

But Jesus puts on a clinic.

He has something to say about marriage, and He's got something to say about divorce.

You know, just let me pray one more time as we turn to what Jesus says here.

Lord Jesus, we're here to listen to what You say.

And as Your followers, we are coming not to weigh what You say, decide whether we should obey,

but we're coming to obey.

We're listening so that we can obey.

Lord, this is part of the teaching with which we are to instruct all the disciples

when we make nations, disciples of the nations,

instructing them in all that You have commanded, and this is part of that.

And so, Lord, would You help us to not only hear,

but to hear with hearts eager to obey, eager to understand.

And it's Your name I pray once again.

Amen.

Alright, you guys ready to go back to first century Palestine?

Here we go.

If you'd open up your Bibles all the way back to Deuteronomy 24.

Deuteronomy is the fifth book of the Old Testament.

Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy.

Why are we going there?

In Matthew 5.31, Jesus says this,

It was said, whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.

He's not talking about something in the Ten Commandments.

He's raising something that was an issue out of Deuteronomy 24, 1-4.

And so, I want to bring you there so that you can see what the debate in the first century was over among Jewish religious leaders.

And so, let's go there now.

Deuteronomy 24.

Deuteronomy 24.

And we read this.

When a man takes a wife and marries her, if, then, she finds no favor in his eyes because he's found some indecency.

Those two words are going to be the center of the debate.

If, then, if, then, if she goes and becomes another man's wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house,

or if, the latter man dies who took her to be his wife, then, her former husband who sent her away may not take her again to be his wife after she has been defiled,

for that is an abomination before the Lord.

And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance.

There's a lot there.

A lot of ifs.

Did you notice the ifs?

A lot of ifs.

And then the word then shows up in verse 4.

This passage is there really to establish the point of verse 4.

And the specific situation it's addressing is if a guy divorces a woman, that woman remarries, and for whatever reason that second marriage dissolves,

the first husband can't take the wife again.

That's why this is here.

It doesn't say whether divorce is right or wrong.

What it's getting at is what if this happens?

It's known as case law.

And so it's addressing a specific situation.

That's kind of the background on Deuteronomy 24, the passage itself.

Now let's look at the issue of the debate.

The debate wasn't about verse 4.

The debate was over something in verse 1.

And it was those two words, some indecency in the ESV.

And so here's what was going on.

There were two camps, two schools of rabbinical thought, of the teachers of the law of the day.

And the first school was the school of Shammai.

And Shammai would interpret those two words, some indecency, very narrowly, very rigidly.

And they would say the some indecency is adultery.

It's some grave, marital, physical, sexual event.

That is the some indecency that allows for divorce.

And so that's the school of Shammai over here.

The other school is the school of Hillel.

And the school of Hillel interpreted some indecency not narrowly, not rigidly, but very broadly, very generally.

So what that meant was some rabbis would say some indecency would include divorcing a wife because she spoiled her husband's dinner.

It's there.

Or because a husband has found someone fairer than his wife.

Those would become grounds for divorcing her and handing her a certificate of divorce.

Now, if you're a woman in the room and you're like thinking, I could not believe living underneath something like that.

You know what?

I just might spoil this guy's dinner so he would hand me a certificate of divorce.

But whether you believe we're part of the school of Shammai, the rigid approach, or part of the school of Hillel, the loose approach,

both would say you have to give a certificate of divorce.

And what a certificate of divorce was at that time was a way to protect a wife from a husband who was just very capricious,

just like whatever, on a whim, get out of my face, you spoiled my dinner,

or without having to give her some kind of legal protection.

And so a certificate of divorce set out the right for a wife to remarry.

And so the background of what's happening in Matthew 5 is this debate.

And the question's going to become, where does Jesus come down?

Is he school of Shammai or is he school of Hillel?

Where does he fall down?

Where does he come to?

Before we get there, we've got to see where the Pharisees come down,

because this is setting the whole thing up.

And so if you would, knowing that the debate is over some indecency,

and knowing the sides of the debate, would you now flip your Bibles to Matthew 19?

Matthew 19.

And we're going to be looking at 3 through 9.

And just to give you a little help in understanding, this passage.

In Matthew 19, 3 through 9, Jesus takes up the issue of divorce again.

But there's a difference.

It's in who he's talking to.

In Matthew 5, it's his inaugural address.

He's speaking to his disciples.

In Matthew 19, he's speaking to Pharisees.

They've asked him, what do you think about Deuteronomy 24.1?

And so in Matthew 19, 3 through 9, we're going to spend most of our time there,

because it reveals Jesus' mind on the matter more.

It's more expansive.

He explains more in Matthew 19, 3 through 9, on marriage and divorce,

than he does in Matthew 5.

So what we're going to do is we're going to use Matthew 19 to help us understand Matthew 5.

And so what we see is what Jesus thinks about marriage and divorce.

And we also learn where the Pharisees come down on Deuteronomy 24.

Look at verse 3 of chapter 19 in Matthew.

And Pharisees came up to him and tested him, which I always think is pretty funny,

because they're testing the incarnate God of the universe.

And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking,

is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?

Do you know why they're asking him the question?

So what's the background of that question?

Deuteronomy 24, 1 through 4.

And so they want to know where Jesus is coming down on this whole divorce thing.

Is it biblical?

Is it okay that a husband divorces his wife for pretty much any cause?

Jesus, where are you coming down on this debate?

Now, what this kind of shows is the Pharisees' hand, where they actually are.

And so what we'll see is that the Pharisees actually adhere to the school of Hillel.

That they are holding to a position on divorce that is broad and loose.

And so this should be somewhat of a surprise, because so far, on the issue of murder,

and on the issue of adultery, they've been rather tight.

Because it suited their purpose.

And now when we get to this issue of when can you divorce,

they go loose, because it served their purpose.

And so Jesus is going to speak right into that.

And all week long, I've been like, Jesus, you are so awesome.

To speak like this.

So Matthew 19, 3 through 9, what I'd like you to do,

just to walk through each verse to help us understand what's being said,

so that we can see what Jesus means.

What Jesus is saying.

So that we can hear our Savior and King speak.

So we can walk after His ways.

We can live in the light of His teaching.

So, 19, 3, is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?

The any cause is back to 24-1.

This any kind of sense, any kind of reason,

any kind of spoiling your dinner, anything like that.

They're asking for a no-fault divorce.

Some indecency.

Jesus, do you agree with us?

Would you just quickly flip back to 531?

I want to help you understand what's being said in 531.

Jesus says it was also said,

and what you need to hear there is,

it was also said by the Pharisees who've been teaching on this in our culture,

that whoever divorces his wife for any cause,

let him give her a certificate of divorce.

And so Jesus is addressing the present teaching and understanding of this issue of divorce of the day.

And so these dovetail very nicely.

What, just for a little background,

what had happened at this point is,

the Pharisees were more concerned about getting the legal writing correct on the certificate of divorce.

They wanted to make sure it was accurate,

rather than asking,

is the grounds right?

And so what they were doing is they're asking,

they want justification for no-fault divorce,

a divorce that they can declare for any reason they want,

but the wife really has no say in the matter.

What we're looking here at is a sad situation.

Heartbreaking.

Difficult for a woman.

It'd be a very difficult place to live and feel like you have a voice.

So the Pharisees were adherents to the school of Hillel,

the sum and decency that they thought about when they were interpreting loose and broad.

And so they're asking Jesus in verse 3,

hey, are you for us or against us?

And this is where I want to turn to Jesus now,

and I want to occupy our time with what does Jesus say?

The first thing I want you to notice is in verse 4, 4 through 6,

is where Jesus begins.

Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?

Our Savior King says,

have you not read that He who created them from the beginning

made them male and female and said,

therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife

and they shall become one flesh?

So they're no longer two but one flesh.

What therefore God has joined together,

let not man separate.

Did you notice where Jesus starts?

He doesn't start in Deuteronomy 24.

He starts in Genesis 1 and 2.

In the beginning.

Jesus goes back to the very start

when God established marriage.

That's where Jesus goes.

And so in 19.4 when He says,

have you not read that He who created them from the beginning

made them male and female?

He's talking about Genesis 1.26 and 27.

God created man in His image.

Male and female He created them.

They are of the same value,

but they're distinct in who they are physically in their roles,

but the same value.

God created them male and female.

And then in verse 19.5 we read this.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother

and hold fast to his wife

and thou shalt become one flesh.

He's talking about Genesis 2.24.

The divine institution of marriage

where God gives Eve to Adam

and declares them,

you're one flesh.

It was the divine institution of marriage.

Did you notice the one flesh language?

Jesus is emphasizing that for a reason.

Verse 6.

So they are no longer two,

but one flesh.

What therefore God has joined together,

let not man separate.

Jesus is making explicit

what's implied in Genesis 2.24

in that it is God

who is joining the first husband

and the first wife.

That's God at work.

And so essentially what Jesus is saying here is,

hey, divorce wasn't part of the original design.

Wasn't part of the original design.

In the beginning,

God created,

then joined one man and one woman

in an exclusive,

lifelong,

one flesh union.

And so the case that Jesus is making here

is that marriage is sacred.

And what the Pharisees were doing

were they were trivializing marriage.

That's the culture we live in today.

You remove God from the equation

and everything trivializes.

You've got a lot more options.

Jesus is returning God to marriage.

And what He's saying is,

what is normal and binding

from the beginning

is an exclusive,

lifelong,

one flesh union

joined by God.

Here's what Jesus is doing.

It's very helpful.

He's saying,

let's not start with the exception.

Deuteronomy 24.

Let's start with the norm.

Let's understand the norm

so that we can understand the exception.

And what He's making out to be the norm

is Genesis 1 and 2.

That marriage is sacred.

It's a joining of one man and one woman

by God Himself.

He is fulfilling the intent of the law here.

He's saying this is what it really means.

The Pharisees had trivialized marriage,

but Jesus is returning God's design

and intent to marriage.

He's returning the sacredness,

the divine design of marriage.

I know I've said it a lot,

but marriage is God

joining one man and one woman

together exclusively for life.

And so He answers the question

by saying,

you're not starting in the right place.

You're not starting.

Divorce is never part of the design

to begin with.

And then look at verse 7.

They, the Pharisees, said to Him,

why then did Moses command one

to give a certificate of divorce

and to send her away?

It's kind of like,

but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but,

but what about this?

What about this?

What about Deuteronomy 24, Jesus?

The Pharisees were seeking to trap Jesus

by pitting one part of the law

against another.

And Jesus just totally dismantles them.

He says, you guys are misguided.

You're misguided.

You've got misguided notions

of Deuteronomy 24.

And so let's turn to verse 8.

There's, there's some things in it

that are really important to see.

Let me read it.

He said to them,

because of your hardness of heart,

Moses allowed you to divorce your wives,

but from the beginning,

it was not so.

So, he starts with this phrase,

hardness of heart.

Jesus is, is essentially saying this.

Deuteronomy 24, 1 through 4,

wasn't written to the humble of heart.

That was written for the calloused of heart.

And so, this was a problem

that was rising because

husbands with callous hearts

were divorcing their wives

any way they saw fit.

And so this was,

this is there to slow it down,

to protect wives.

And so, what the Pharisees were doing

and what Jesus is exposing is,

you're basing your whole system of divorce

on a passage that assumes

hardness of heart.

You'd think that they would be suspect

that this passage was being used

to address a sin problem.

But they were using it to justify

what they wanted.

And so, it was written

not to soft hearts,

but to calloused hearts.

Those with a hardened heart.

And Jesus is going after the Pharisees.

Because of your hardness of heart,

Moses allowed.

That's the second thing in verse 8

I want you to notice.

Moses allowed divorce.

He never commanded it.

Look back in verse 7.

The Pharisees said to Him,

why then did Moses command one

to give a certificate of divorce

and to send her away?

Jesus, because of your hardness of heart,

Moses allowed you to divorce your wives.

What Jesus is saying is,

Deuteronomy 24 is there

because of hardness on heart.

And it's not a command.

It's a concession.

And so, these Pharisees were building

a whole misguided view of divorce

on this vague concession

pertaining to a specific situation

that was actually about

a husband's hardness of heart.

Do you follow what's going on here?

And then Jesus,

the last thing,

He says,

it's not so in the beginning.

He returns us to creation.

He returns us to Genesis 1 and 2.

You shouldn't be building your view

of divorce off a concession,

but on God's clear and obvious,

normal and binding word on marriage.

It's exclusive and it's for life.

It's a union that God joins.

Marriage is sacred.

You see Jesus?

He's dismantling them.

Isn't it so helpful to see Him doing it?

Verse 9,

we read,

And I say to you,

and I say to you,

whoever divorces his wife

except for sexual immorality

and marries another commits adultery,

and I say to you.

It's emphatic.

Jesus is saying,

this is what the Word says,

and I say to you,

Pharisees,

let's get this thing right.

Now,

that,

and I say to you,

should ring a little bit of a bell.

If you flip back to Matthew 5.32,

we read,

And it was also said,

whoever divorces his wife,

let him give her a certificate of divorce,

but I say to you,

disciples,

that everyone who divorces his wife

except on the ground of sexual immorality

makes her commit adultery,

and whoever marries a divorced woman

commits adultery.

Jesus is saying the same thing

in chapter 5 and chapter 19.

In chapter 19,

He just simply expands.

That's why it's so helpful

to see 19

explaining chapter 5.

That little phrase in 5.32,

if you would just turn there now,

chapter 5.32,

But I say to you

that everyone who divorces his wife

except on the ground of sexual immorality

makes her commit adultery.

Did you see that?

Here's what you need to realize

in the first century.

It was assumed

that a divorced woman,

in order to survive,

would have to do one of two things.

She would either have to go back

to her father's house in shame,

or she would have to find someone else to marry

regardless of why she was divorced.

Neither was a good option.

And so what Jesus is saying is

if you divorce your wife

for any other reason

besides sexual immorality,

and I'll get to that in a second,

but if you do that,

you make her commit adultery.

This was a time when a single woman,

a single mom,

was not a viable economic unit.

She didn't have many choices.

And so what Jesus is getting at is

you've got to slow down

if you're thinking about divorce.

You've got to realize

there's a lot at stake.

The sacredness of marriage.

God has joined two together as one.

And if you do this step,

you're going to cause your former wife

to commit adultery.

Which is incredibly ironic

because the Pharisees

were trying to get around it.

And so what Jesus is doing here

is given the sanctity of marriage,

it's exclusive, lifelong,

one flesh, joined by God.

If you divorce your wife

for a reason other than sexual immorality,

you make her commit adultery

by marrying another.

And so what is behind this

is what God is thinking about a marriage.

Remember this language of one flesh?

If there's a divorce

without grounds of sexual immorality,

that remarriage takes place

and God is still thinking about

that first marriage

as a one flesh union.

That's why the second marriage

becomes an act of adultery.

And the weight of what Jesus is saying here

is not on the wife

who's being made to commit adultery.

It's on the husband

who's causing her to do that.

Jesus is saying,

don't make this about her.

This is about your hardness of heart.

Let's look at this exception clause.

The exception clause

is the clause

that begins with the word accept.

In 532,

accept on the ground

of sexual immorality.

In 19.9,

accept for sexual immorality.

So for us,

what this means is this.

There's other passages,

1 Corinthians 7,

that raise other possibilities

of separation

and possibly remarriage.

But what I want to do this morning

is focus in

on what Jesus is saying here

so that we're all clear

on what Jesus is saying.

So we're not covering

the whole waterfront

of what the Bible says,

but let's just get

what Jesus is saying here.

And so what Jesus is saying

is the only exception

He allows for,

for divorce,

is in the case

of sexual immorality.

So the question

we need to ask is,

what does that mean?

What is sexual immorality

and what is a cover?

And so the Greek word

behind sexual immorality

is the word porneia.

And it's a word

that includes all kinds

of physical,

sexual irregularity.

Things that would grieve God.

And so,

in the case of a husband

being unfaithful to a wife,

whether that husband

is sexually,

physically unfaithful

with someone else

who is married or unmarried,

it's still porneia.

Whether it is someone

who is of the opposite sex

or same sex,

it's porneia.

So whether it's another adult

or a minor,

it's porneia.

So whether it's another human

or an animal,

it's porneia.

And so what Jesus is doing

is saying sexual immorality

covers the gamut,

porneia,

of sexual,

physical wrongdoing

in God's eyes.

And Jesus is saying

that becomes grounds

for divorce.

and it's the sole exception

that Jesus allows

here in the book of Matthew.

I

have been weighing

whether or not

I should raise this point,

but I think it would be helpful.

Because I'm guessing

some of you are in your pew

asking,

well,

why just sexual immorality?

Why not physical

or verbal abuse?

Surely that was a horrific event

in the first century Palestine

as it is in 21st century Kenosha.

Well,

I just want to humbly say

here's my best understanding

of why

Jesus limits

the grounds for divorce

to just sexual immorality.

Physical and verbal abuse

are horrific in a marriage.

But there seems to be

a difference in our Savior's mind

between that kind of wrongdoing

and the kind of breach

that is wrought upon a marriage

through porneia.

And so,

all are wrong.

But Jesus seems to say

that there is something

to this physical sexual act

that has a unique

devastating effect

on a marriage.

Sexual immorality

disjoins

the one flesh union

God has joined together.

What God has joined together.

Let not man separate.

Jesus is being very specific.

If sexual immorality takes place,

a marriage has suffered

a kind of physical unjoining

that can actually end

a marriage

in God's eyes.

That's how serious

Jesus sees

sexual immorality.

It's not to diminish

the sinfulness

of physical

and verbal abuse,

but it's heightening

this issue of sexual fidelity

in a marriage.

So if there is sexual immorality,

God allows

for the one

sinned against

to remarry

without being

an adulterer.

Without committing adulterer.

The sinning spouse

has already

committed adultery

because of their

sexual immorality.

So what we see

in chapter 5

verse 32

in 19.9

is a kind of warning

that divorcing

without biblical grounds,

the grounds

of sexual immorality,

causes the remarriage

of the

divorcing husband

and wife

to start

as an adulterous act

because that marriage

in God's eyes

is still one flesh.

So let me try to summarize

what Jesus is saying here.

And it's really instructive

for us.

Jesus starts

in the beginning.

Jesus starts

with what's normal.

God's design

and creation.

Genesis

Genesis 1 · chapter mention

chapter 1

and 2.

Much of our lives

depend on Genesis

Genesis 1 · chapter mention

chapter 1

and 2.

It is

vital

scripture

to our everyday living.

What's normal

is to see a marriage

as an exclusive,

lifelong,

one flesh union

joined together

by God.

It's normal

and binding

and it's where

we must start

in our everyday

conversations

in the 21st century.

Jesus starts

with the norm,

not the exception.

John Stott,

his pastoral practice,

when a couple

who was considering

divorce

would come to him,

he insisted

that before they

talk about divorce,

they first talk about

the nature of marriage

and the nature

of reconciliation.

Good practice.

The second thing

I want to help you see here

is that

nowhere does God

require divorce.

Nowhere does He

command divorce.

Divorce,

both in

Deuteronomy 24

and even here

in Matthew 5

and 19

it's

a concession,

it's provisional.

It's not a requirement.

It's not a command.

And what we saw

in 19

is that Jesus

totally dismantles

the Pharisees'

false understanding

of it being a command.

God allowed for it,

not required it.

Do you know what's

baked into

Genesis 1 and 2?

This is what I love

about my Bible.

God took that example

of one man

and one woman

and He ran it

through your Bible.

From the beginning

God had an idea.

He says,

I'm going to use this

to communicate

my relationship

to my people.

And so all throughout

the Old Testament,

you see it in Ezekiel 16,

you see it in the book

of Hosea,

God takes on the role

of a husband groom.

And His people

take on the role

of the bride,

the wife.

And then when we turn

to the New Testament,

what we see is

Jesus takes the role

of the groom.

And the church

takes the role

of the bride.

And what we see

over and over again

used in this picture

throughout the whole Bible

is a faithful husband

who lovingly forgives

and reconciles

with his wayward wife

over and over

and over again.

Our God is a faithful husband.

And it informs

how we are to approach

this issue of divorce

even when

the requirements

are met.

You see,

above all,

we're peacemakers.

Blessed are the peacemakers.

And so if I were

to be approached

by a person

who was considering

divorce

and that person

had biblical grounds,

do you know

what I would say?

have you considered

making peace?

Have you considered

forgiving the sin?

This is good news

for struggling marriages.

What this essentially does

is it removes divorce

from the equation.

It says we're going

to work things out

regardless how hard it gets.

So if there's no grounds,

there's no grounds.

God has joined you together.

There's work to be done.

Another thing I want you to see

in just kind of summary

is that sexual immorality

is the only grounds here

that Jesus makes

as an exception

for divorce.

So a spouse

who has been sinned against

sexually

through this physical

act of immorality,

Jesus would allow you

to end the marriage.

It is provision.

It is real.

But once you choose

to stay,

if you choose to stay,

the way forward

is to forgive

and to reconcile.

And so you're

no longer choosing

to hold that sin

over your spouse.

You can't reclaim it

in five years.

You've forgiven him.

Forgiven her.

Now,

if your spouse,

that spouse,

was to be

sexually unfaithful again,

you would need to weigh

the same provision again.

But it's a real provision.

And we would love to help you.

We'd love to help you

navigate these hard waters.

Back to this issue

of physical abuse

and verbal abuse.

If it's not

grounds for divorce,

according to what

Jesus is saying here,

then how do we

think about it?

We've got to

take it seriously.

We've got to

take steps of separation

if need be.

We've got to

involve the authorities

if required.

But we're going to

pursue reconciliation.

We're going to

seek to be peacemakers

despite how

hard and

heart aching

it becomes.

We've got to

be wise.

We've got to

live in what

God allows

and does not allow.

And I would

only humbly

recommend that

if you find

yourself in a

situation

where you don't

have grounds

but it is hard,

seek help.

Ask for help.

The elders of our

church would love

to help.

We have people

that can help

as well.

Seek help.

If you are in

the room and

you have been

divorced and

you got a

divorce without

the grounds

Jesus allows for

here and then

you got remarried,

what Jesus is

saying is that

that was an

act of adultery

because in God's

eyes this first

marriage, your

first marriage

marriage was

still a one

flesh union.

But you've got

to see, Jesus

chooses his words

very carefully.

In both

chapter 5, 32

and 19, 9,

Jesus talks

about whoever

marries someone

who's been

divorced without

grounds.

It's a real

marriage.

marriage.

The second

marriage.

Your second

marriage is a

real marriage.

And Jesus

doesn't call the

one who does

that an

adulteress or

an adulterer.

He says they

commit adultery.

And so though the

second marriage

started on

illegitimate grounds,

it's still a real

marriage in God's

eyes and it's

not the

unforgivable

sin.

God has grace

even for that.

And I would

just suggest

this.

If you find

yourself in that

situation,

just simply

go to Jesus,

call it what

he calls it,

and then call it

forgiven.

Because your

faithful husband

died for it.

Jesus did.

And then what

you want to do

is move forward

in your present

marriage for

his name's sake.

You don't need

to divorce the

person you're

presently married

to.

Stay as you

are, but

faithfully live

out your

vows before

God and your

spouse.

What God

has brought

together, let

not man

separate.

If you're

thinking about

getting a

divorce, you

need to slow

down.

You need to

ask some really

important questions.

What does

Jesus say?

Do you have

grounds?

Do you need

help?

If you need

help, help is

available.

I'd be glad to

help you.

Rick, other

elders, other

godly people of

this church will

be glad to help

you.

I'd only suggest

this.

You go to

someone who's

going to tell

you what you

need to hear

instead of what

you want to

hear.

Go to someone

who's going to

direct you to

the scriptures

and all of what

they say, not

what you just

want them to

say.

There's a last

group of people

that I want to

address this

morning.

Single people

thinking about

marriage.

Please

realize

the sacredness

of what you

desire.

That this

is a union

joined together

by God.

It's not to be

entered into

lightly.

So if you've

never been

married,

do you

understand

marriage as

Jesus understands

it?

Exclusive,

lifelong,

one-flesh

union that God

unites,

that God

joins.

Marriage is

sacred.

Let me end

by saying

this.

We live in a

culture that

has trivialized

marriage and

made divorce

very easy.

When we live

out our lives

in marriages

as Jesus

called us

to, do you

know what we're

going to be in

this culture?

we're going

to be salt

and light.

We're going

to stand

out.

And our

marriages are

going to reflect

that relationship

between God

and His

people.

God be

praised.

This is what

marriage is

that Jesus

calls an

exceeding

righteousness.

A

righteousness

that fulfills

the law and

the prophets.

Let's pray.

ин

going