Help! I'm Not Playing Nice

is a fascinating study in human belonging.

Maybe you've witnessed one of these scenarios on a playground near you.

A child picks up a handful of sand and throws it into the face of another child.

Have you witnessed that?

Then you hear the mom say, Danny, play nice with others.

Or there's a group of children, perhaps you've seen this,

a group of children purposefully excluding a little boy.

Not for any particular reason.

You hear a mom cry out, children, play nice.

Let that little boy play with you.

Or perhaps you've seen this scenario,

a little child avoiding all contact with all other children at all costs on this playground.

Because there's a fear there.

And you hear a mom say, honey, go play with others.

It's good for you.

The playground is a fascinating study of human belonging.

But let's just be honest.

I mean, we're all living on a playground of sorts.

We're all wanting to belong, right?

We all want to be part of a people bigger than us.

We all want to experience unity with others.

What God has intended for us.

And to that end, we need a lot of help.

Because our sinful tendency is to not play nice with others.

And it undermines the unity that God has purchased for us

through the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ.

I hope you just heard that.

Our unity is a blood-bought unity.

This morning, Psalm 133 is going to help us

by prioritizing for us God's good and pleasant will for us,

our unity,

to live together for God's glory.

God's will is for us to be united.

But Psalm 133 helps us see something else.

If I were to sum up Psalm 133 in a sentence, it would be this.

Our unity is a magnet for God's blessing.

Our unity is a magnet for God's blessing.

And I'm guessing everyone in the room wants to experience

the fullness of God's blessing in our relationships as a church.

And so maybe you're the type who doesn't play nice with others.

I think we're all that type.

Psalm 133 is just for us.

So here's how we're going to move forward.

I'm going to walk you through Psalm 133.

And then I'm going to spend the bulk of our time

applying Psalm 133, this idea of unity,

specifically 10 ways we live together for the glory of God.

And so we're going to, we'll get there,

but let's first walk, let me walk you through this passage

and let me start by giving you a little background on Psalm 133.

You'll notice right away that in the title,

it's a psalm, a song of ascents.

Now, there are 15 songs of ascents.

Psalms 120 through 134.

And what an ascent is, is a gradual climb up, an incline.

And so what's good for you to know is that

there are these three major feasts every year on the Jewish calendar.

And every year, men were required to make pilgrimage to Jerusalem

to worship God together at these feasts.

And if you were to go to Jerusalem from anywhere in Israel,

you're eventually going to have to go up to Jerusalem.

It was on a mountain, Mount Zion.

And so it was on an ascent.

And so the purpose of these psalms of ascent

is for the pilgrimage.

As Jews from every tribe around Jerusalem,

all throughout Israel, made their way

and were ascending to Jerusalem,

they would be reciting, singing, thinking about these psalms.

They're intended to prepare God's people

to meet with God in His place.

It's a unity primer, is what it is.

And so that's a little background.

Now let's get into the text itself.

If you look at verse 1, you see the word,

Behold.

Behold, how good and pleasant it is

when brothers dwell in unity.

This is a psalm of David.

And David is saying,

Hey, look at this.

I want you to see it.

Behold, how good and pleasant it is

when brothers dwell in unity.

Now David was a musician.

And what's interesting,

he's not saying here,

He's not saying here,

How good and pleasant it is

when I write a great psalm.

He's not,

He was a builder.

He's not saying,

How good and pleasant it is

when I build a great building.

He was a warrior.

He's not saying,

How good and pleasant,

Look, how good and pleasant it is

when I rout the enemy.

He's saying,

How good and pleasant it is

when brothers dwell in unity.

The brothers is a reference to Jews

from all the tribes of Israel

coming together.

And these tribes had a sordid past,

a lot of infighting,

a lot of hardship.

And David is saying,

Oh, how good it is,

how pleasant it is

when brothers come together

in unity.

David understands the value of unity.

He experienced discord himself.

So the question we need to ask right now is,

Well, what is unity?

Biblically speaking.

Well, the Hebrew word for unity,

if your Bible has a little number next to it,

when you look down at the bottom of the page,

it says to dwell together.

That word unity literally means together.

It's togetherness.

But we all know

that being together

doesn't necessarily mean

it's good and pleasant.

So this is a particular kind of togetherness.

It's a particular kind of unity.

And so here's my working definition of unity.

Unity is when God's people

live together for God's glory.

That's unity.

When God's people are living together

for God's glory,

that's unity.

God unites His people.

I mean, that's the point

of these three annual feasts.

All the men of Israel

would come up to Jerusalem

in order to gather together

around God's presence

in His place,

celebrating something

that God had done for them.

I mean, that's why we get together

on a weekly basis.

We gather together

in order to rejoice

and celebrate

what God has done for us.

We're seeking to live

for God's glory.

So,

this observation,

behold,

it is good and pleasant

when brothers

are living together

together for the glory of God.

How good and pleasant

it is when a church

lives together

for the glory of God.

Our greatest aim

is God's glory.

And when

we are united,

it is a magnet

for God's blessing.

If we continue on,

you're going to notice

in verses 2 and 3,

there are these

two comparisons.

David wants to compare.

He is comparing

this good and pleasant

unity to two things.

Oil,

you see that in verse 2,

and dew,

you see that in verse 3.

In verse 2,

we read,

it is,

it is,

the it is,

this unity,

this good and pleasant unity

is like the precious

oil on the head

running down on the beard,

on the beard of Aaron,

running down

on the collar

of his robes.

Do you sense

abundance there?

Overflowing abundance.

This oil

is an anointing oil.

And what an anointing oil

was used for

was to consecrate,

to set apart

a king

or a priest.

That's why Aaron's name

is there.

He was a priest.

And so what this

is a picture of

is God's

overflowing

kindness

in setting

Aaron apart

for God's purposes.

And so this is

what the comparison

is.

When God's people

are united,

they are set apart

like Aaron,

all that oil

flowing down,

they are set apart

for God's purposes.

Set apart

for God's

glory.

glory.

It's a good

and pleasant thing.

When we're united,

we're aimed

at God.

The second comparison

is to do.

This good

and pleasant

unity,

we see it in

the beginning

of verse 3,

it's like the dew

of Hermon,

which falls on

the mountains

of Zion.

Hermon was this

really high mountain

in northern Israel,

and it produced

this really thick

layer of dew.

You know what dew is?

I mow my lawn

Monday morning.

My kids kind of

make fun of me

because I'm usually

up at 7 o'clock

mowing my lawn.

They're like,

beware of the neighbors.

But I have a hard

time mowing

because there's so

much dew in my grass.

That dew is a

life-giving water.

And if you're

thinking about

where this is

taking place,

it's life-giving

water in an

arid,

dry place.

There's some

debate of what

this dew

actually is.

Some think that

it's the actual

dew from Mount

Hermon coming

all the way

down to the

mountains of Zion.

It's a little bit

of a reach.

Or it could be

that the dew

of Hermon

is more like

an expression

for a certain

thickness,

for a certain

vibrancy

of dew.

It's like when

you say

Kleenex to

refer to tissues.

dew.

You're saying

Mount Hermon

dew to refer

to a fullness

of dew on the

ground.

Whatever the

case,

the good and

pleasant unity

of God's

people is being

likened to a

source of life-giving

water in a dry

and arid place.

When God's

people are united,

it is refreshing

and life-giving.

It is a blessing

to those

around us.

So here we have

two comparisons,

oil and dew.

Oil, it's good

and pleasant

in that we're set

apart for God's

glory.

Dew, it's good

and pleasant

in that we're a

blessing to those

around us.

Our unity

is a magnet

to God's

blessing.

At the end

of verse 3,

we have the

conclusion.

you see it

being formed

with the word

for.

For there

the Lord has

commanded the

blessing,

life forevermore.

It's an

interesting way

to talk about

things.

Where's the

there?

For there,

where is that

there?

For there the

Lord has

commanded the

blessing,

life forevermore.

Well, you could

say Mount Zion

because that's

what David was

just talking

about.

But what's

important to

recognize,

it's where

the brothers

are dwelling

together in

unity.

That's the

there.

And if it's

in Jerusalem,

God will

command his

blessing there.

And if it's

in Kenosha,

God will

command his

blessing there.

But God

commands his

blessing.

There's this

verse in

Isaiah 66.

This is the

one to whom

the Lord will

look.

who is

humble,

contrite in

spirit,

and trembles

at my

Lord.

God just

delights in

humility.

And he

will just

look to it,

pour out his

favor on it.

Unity is

this expression

of humility.

And God

is compelled

to pour out

his blessing

on it.

Life

forevermore.

if we're

unified,

God will

surely bless

us.

Christ the

King Church,

don't you

want that?

Don't you

want to be

set apart for

God's purposes?

Don't you

want to be a

blessing to

this city?

We must be

united.

I've got a

theory,

and here's

my theory.

Christians

settle for

surfacy

relationships.

And the

reason why

are twofold.

Christians

settle for

surfacy

relationships

because they

don't know

what true

unity is.

They don't

know what

it takes.

It takes a lot

of humility,

a lot of

hard work.

So there's

kind of an

ignorance.

But there's

another reason

why Christians

settle for

surfacy

relationships.

It's those

Christians who

know what

true humility

requires,

but they are

unwilling to

pursue it.

And they're

unwilling to

pursue it

because they've

been burned.

They've been

in a context

where they have

opened up their

lives and

they've gotten

trampled.

And so

there's an

unwillingness,

a guardedness

to stay on

the surface,

to stay on

the side of

the playground.

So the

question becomes

if unity

is God's

people living

together for

the glory of

God,

how do we

as a church

pursue that?

Well,

that's the

second half

of this

sermon.

And before

I go there,

I want to

share you a

story that

Mary Jo

Filippelli

has taught

me.

It's a

lesson.

Have you

seen this

garden in

the front of

our building?

If you come

in through the

front glass

doors,

there's this

garden there

and it's

beautiful.

An array

of plants,

different

fragrances,

different colors.

It's just

beautiful.

Here's what

Mary Jo

Filippelli

has taught

me.

She's the

gardener of

that garden.

The

lesson is

this.

Beautiful

gardens

require a

lot of

hard work.

Mary Jo

Filippelli

is in

this

building

tending

that

garden

on a

frequent

basis.

And if

unity

of our

church

is like

a garden,

it's going

to take a

lot of

hard work.

God

and so

what I

want to

share with

you now

are ten

ways that

we can

live together

for the

glory of

God.

Ten ways

that we

maintain the

unity of the

spirit and

the bond of

peace.

Ten ways

we pursue

oneness

in Christ.

Now,

if you're

right now

wilting in

your chair

like ten

ways,

man,

it's hot

in here.

I'm out!

Stay checked

in.

The challenge

is going

to be

keeping up

with me.

I'm going

to move

through it

pretty quick.

So ten

ways we

seek this

good and

pleasant

unity that

God is

just drawn

to to

bless.

You ready?

The first

way.

The first

way we

live for

God's glory

together is

by realizing

that our

unity is

dependent on

Christ's

death.

Christ's

death

unites

us.

Our

unity is

a gospel

unity.

It's born

of what

Jesus has

done in

our behalf.

Remember

how these

Jewish men

would make

pilgrimage to

Jerusalem three

times a year

and at these

feasts,

these feasts

would commemorate

something that

God has done

for Israel

and it would

unite them

together around

the work God

has done for

them.

Well,

Christ's work

on the cross

for each

of us

unites

us

together.

We share

a common

forgiveness

in Christ.

We share

a common

peace with

God in

Christ.

We share

in the very

righteousness

of Christ.

We share

in the living

hope of

Christ.

We share

in a common

aim,

God's glory.

We share

a common

eternity,

a common

destination.

We share

a common

enemy.

Christ's

death has

united us.

I find it

really interesting

that in the

book of

1 Corinthians,

this church

that was

dysfunctional

and divisive,

that the

apostle Paul

waits until

the last

chapter

to raise

the gospel.

And he

says to them

in 153,

I will now

pass on to

you of first

importance

what was

passed on

to me.

That Christ

died for

our sins

according to

the scriptures.

Do you know

what he's doing?

He's uniting

that church

in the gospel.

This is what

you have in

common.

Christ's

death is the

very basis

of our unity.

It's the very

cause of

our unity.

His death

unites us

to live for

him.

My favorite

verse is

2 Corinthians

5.15,

and he died

for all that

those who

live might

no longer

live for

themselves but

for him

who for

their sake

died and

was raised.

I know

it's a

mouthful.

Here's a

summary.

Christ died

for all of

us so

that all

of us

would live

in union

for him.

Our goal

now is

Jesus.

So the

first way

we live

for God's

glory is

by realizing

Christ's

death

unites

us.

Here's a

helpful way

to think

about it.

If you're

in conflict

with another

Christian,

you know

it's a

helpful way,

helpful starting

point,

to see that

other Christian

as blood

bought by

Jesus.

That person

belongs to

Jesus.

It matters

how you

pursue peace

with them.

The second

way we live

for God's

glory together

is in a

shared,

personal,

dying

daily.

In order

for us to

live for

Christ together,

we must

die to

ourselves

alone,

daily.

In Matthew

16,

24,

Jesus said,

if anyone

would come

after me,

he must

deny

himself,

take up

his cross,

and follow

me.

It's a

picture of

humbling

yourself,

following

after Jesus.

Our unity

as a

church

will never

result from

any one

of us

insisting

on our

own way.

That's not

the way

of humility.

The path

of unity

begins

with dying

to ourselves

so that

each of

us is

living for

Jesus.

I'm

constantly

amazed

at how

easy it

is.

I put

no thought

into living

for myself.

I default

into

insisting

on my

own

way.

I put

no thought

into it.

I wake

up in the

morning,

you know,

this is

about me

today.

But what

it takes

to live

for Christ

is conscious

intentional

effort

to die

to myself

in order

to live

for Christ

and others.

So the

question I

have for

you is,

have you

died to

yourself

today

in order

to live

for Christ?

So to

preserve

the unity

of our

church.

The third

way we

live together

for God's

glory

is by

walking by

the Spirit,

sharing in

a Spirit

dynamic.

What Christ's

death

accomplished,

the Spirit

seeks to

apply.

In 1 Corinthians

12,

13,

we are taught

that the

Holy Spirit

baptizes

each Christian

at the

moment of

salvation

into the

one body

of Jesus

Christ.

He unites

us.

And not

only does

He unite

us,

He is

actually

seeking

for us

to experience

this unity

in greater

and greater

measure.

We're going

to be

preaching

through

Galatians

in September.

And you

remember what

the fruit

of the Spirit

is in

Galatians 5?

Love,

joy,

peace,

patience,

kindness,

goodness,

gentleness,

faithfulness,

self-control.

We tend

to think

about those

as individual

characteristics,

but do you

know what?

That is

couched

in loving

one another.

That whole

section

in Galatians

5,

it's about

unity.

It's about

living together

as a church.

It's about

walking by

the Spirit

and not

yielding to

the desires

of the flesh

so that

we can

love

one another.

In

Ephesians 4,

3,

we're told

to be

eager to

maintain

the unity

of the

Spirit

and the

bond

of peace.

So do you

know what

our sinning

against each

other is?

In the words

of one

theologian,

it's culpable

shalom

breaking.

It's working

against what

the Holy Spirit

is seeking

to do

to unite

us.

Living

for the

glory of

God

together.

And this

is a

dynamic.

What I

mean by

that is

our unity

is not

static,

it's dynamic.

It ebbs

and flows.

And it

often,

more often

than not,

depends on

our willingness

to humble

ourselves.

it is

good and

right for

us to

be regularly

praying,

fill us

today by

your Spirit

of God.

Unite us.

Help me.

Help us

to walk

by your

Spirit

and so

fulfill

the law

of Christ

to love

your neighbor

as yourself.

The fourth

way we live

together for

God's glory

is by

sharing

in doctrinal

truth.

Doctrine

simply means

teaching.

What the

Bible teaches,

what the

Bible teaches

about God

is the

doctrine of

God.

What the

Bible teaches

about sin

is the

doctrine of

sin.

What the

Bible teaches

about salvation

is the

doctrine of

salvation.

So on

and so

forth.

And so

our posture

as a

church,

all doctrine

comes from

this book,

the Bible.

And our

posture as

a church

is to come

under God's

word together.

We don't

stand over

God's

word,

we come

under

God's

word.

Doctrine

unites

us.

God's

truth

knits

us

together.

Unity

is not

the result

of

minimizing

doctrinal

truth.

Unity

comes from

emphasizing

the right

doctrinal

truth.

That's why

we have a

statement of

faith.

That's why

in our

membership

class,

we

purpose

to bring

everyone

through

every

paragraph

of our

statement

of

faith.

Because

we as

a church

are saying

these are

the doctrines

from God's

word that

we are

committed to

and are

vital to

our faith

and practice.

Our

unity

depends

upon

doctrine,

not the

other way

around.

God's

love.

God's

glory is

sharing

in a

common

dependence.

God's

love.

In

John 15,

Jesus

describes

our

dependence

in

relationship

to him

as a

vine and

a

branch.

Jesus

says in

15.5,

I am

the vine,

you are

the branches,

anyone abides

in me and

I in him.

He it is that

will bear much

fruit, but

apart from

me you

can do

nothing.

It's another

picture of

humility,

our humble

dependence upon

our Lord

Jesus

Christ.

We are

all dependent

on Jesus.

Not one

of us can

be fruitful

for Jesus

apart from

Jesus.

And so to

bring this

little point

to a head,

are you

depending on

Jesus today?

Our

unity

depends

on your

dependence

on Jesus.

The

sixth

way we

live

together

for the

glory

of God

is in

a shared

interdependence.

In 1 Corinthians

12,

Paul describes

the church

as a

body.

Remember,

the Spirit

baptizes

each Christian

at the

moment of

salvation

into the

one body

of Christ,

but that

same Spirit

also gives

individual

gifts to

each Christian

for the

building up

of the

church.

God

and Paul,

when he's

talking about

this,

describes the

church and

individual

Christians as

individual members

of the body.

I mean,

our church,

we need hands

and thumbs.

We need elbows

in knees.

We need

shoulders,

knees,

and toes.

Knees and toes.

Knees and toes.

It's a

picture of

interdependence.

And so,

in love,

individual

Christians

use their

Spirit-given

gifts to

build up

the one

body of

Christ.

So,

another way

to say it

is,

the Holy

Spirit has

gifted you,

brother and

sister in

Christ,

not for

you.

The Holy

Spirit has

gifted you

in order

to build

up this

church.

You've been

gifted for

the unity

of our

body.

And this

is much

more than

just kind

of utilitarian

view of

gifts.

This body

image pictures

us in close

proximity to

one another,

living life

together,

knowing what's

going on.

We build

each other

up formally

and in

formally.

Now,

on a

related note,

under the

same point,

I just want

to clarify

something.

Unity

does not

mean

uniformity.

Unity

does not

mean

sameness.

We have

men and

women in

this church.

We have

people of

all ages

in this

church,

all seasons

of life,

different

ethnicities,

different

income levels

and education

levels.

We have

people adhering

to different

political

parties.

They take

different

stances on

gun control,

different native

languages,

different music

preferences.

This is the

stuff that

makes us

diverse.

But when

we are united

with Jesus

as our head

and his death

uniting us,

we're united

under his

word and

walking by

the spirit

dynamic,

democratic,

we embrace

the diversity.

We're saying

yes to

this.

There is

nothing that

can divide

us when

our unity

is in

Jesus

Christ.

In fact,

I believe

that diversity

when held

rightly

actually

enriches

our unity.

community.

It helps

us understand

people.

You know,

the Amazon

River,

it gathers

tons of

silt and

nutrients on

its way out

into the

Atlantic.

and where

the Amazon

and the

Atlantic meet,

this nutrient

rich fresh

water and

this cold

salt water,

where it

comes together,

these two

diverse bodies

of water,

where they

come together,

it is

incredibly

fertile.

They've

discovered a

whole new

ecosystem

underneath

this.

I believe

that God

through Christ

is bringing

about a

whole new

gospel

ecosystem

in a

whole new

people.

The

diversity

is our

strength

when united

in Christ.

We

live

together

for God's

glory

by sharing

in this

interdependence.

The

seventh way

we live

for God's

glory

glory is

by sharing

a

determination

to work

towards

peace.

In

Romans

Romans 12:18

chapter 12

verse 18,

Paul says,

if possible,

as far as it

depends on you,

live peaceably

with all.

Experience

shalom

with all.

not just

an absence

of hostility,

but a

fullness of

affection,

a fullness

of trust,

a fullness

of goodness.

You want to

be with

them.

What Paul is

saying in

Romans 12

is that

our peace

as a

church

in our

relationships

will be

challenged

and we're

going to

have to

work on

it.

When it's

challenged,

we will

already

have needed

to have

determined

that

we're

going to

do

everything

we can

to pursue

peace

with all,

especially

those in

this church.

So,

in light of

that,

I want to

ask you a

question.

Is there

a situation

right now

in your

life

that you

need to

take action

on?

There's a

lack of

peace and

there's still

something that

you can do

in order to

move towards

peace with

this other

person.

Matt Sear

pointed out

this past

week,

Ephesians 4

3 starts

with eager.

Eagerly

maintain the

unity of

the spirit

and the

bond of

peace.

Be eager

to do it.

Jesus

talked about

it as

drop your

offerings

before you

go to the

altar and

get right

with your

brother.

Be eager

to pursue

peace.

If there's

anything

unresolved,

any conflict

in the room

between any

of us,

be eager to

pursue peace

with one

another.

Do

everything

you can.

But I

also know

of situations

in this

room where

Christians in

this room have

done all

that they

can and

there's still

no peace.

What do you

do then?

You've played

out all your

cards.

What do you

do?

Well, you run

to Psalm 62.

You wait for

the Lord in

silence.

You recognize

that you

are being

shaken.

You surrender

control to

Him.

You rest in

your God

knowing that

He is

unlimited

power,

unrelenting

love,

and He is

unrivaled in

His sovereignty,

and you rest

in His

peace even

though there

is an

unresolved

peace with

someone else.

You've obeyed

Him as far as

He can go.

And now you

just wait.

peace.

But as a

subset to

this point,

I just want

to point out

that this

determined to

be at peace

with one

another,

it's still

going to

require some

dialogue.

This peace

gets worked

out

conversationally

in order for

us to dwell

in unity

and experience

this good

and pleasant

thing that

David is

describing.

We've got to

talk it out

from time

to time.

when people,

God's people,

are living in

close proximity

with one

another,

it's just a

matter of time

before someone

says something

that annoys

you or

offends you

or confuses

you or

alarms you,

disappoints

you,

or angers

you.

Amen?

Amen?

When any

of us realizes

that we have

given offense

to someone

or we've

been offended

by someone

and it's

not something

we can

overlook,

you will

need to

talk it

out with

that person.

You'll need

to pursue

peace with

that person.

Now there's

a couple

resources here

I want to

point you

to.

Ken Sandy

has a

classic,

it's called

The Peacemaker.

It is a

very helpful

book.

I use a

lot of that

material in

our premarital

counseling.

The other

book that I

want to

highly recommend

is Paul

Tripp's

War of

Words.

I'm working

through that

book right

now with a

brother in

the church

and we

are both

really benefiting

from this

book.

It tells you

how to use

your words

well.

We're either

going to use

our words

for peacemaking

and unity

or peace

breaking

and discord

and it all

depends on

what's ruling

your heart

at a given

moment.

The point

though is

we all

need to be

determined

to pursue

peace with

one another.

It might be

uncomfortable

but good

and pleasant

is waiting.

The eighth

way we

live together

for God's

glory is

by being

dedicated to

show up.

Membership

is this

formal

commitment

to one

another.

And in

Psalm 133

those making

the pilgrimage

to Jerusalem

at some

point they

decided to

go.

At some

point they

decided you

know what

it's time

to leave

I gotta go

show up.

Unity

often boils

down to a

faith filled