Proverbs A La Carte: Parenting

I'd like an amen on this next statement.

Being a Christian parent is challenging.

Being a Christian parent is challenging.

Amen.

It is challenging.

I mean, we're living in a world right now,

in a culture right now,

where we're one step closer to moral bankruptcy.

We seem like we are being handed over, Romans 1,

by God to the desires of the flesh of our culture.

And so it's challenging for us individually

to navigate this season we're in in our culture.

It's even more challenging to navigate our children

to help them walk on the path of wisdom.

In fact, many of us as parents,

we will encounter hardship with our children.

We're going to have head-scratching moments of confusion.

We're going to experience heartache

when our children choose foolish ways.

It's going to be difficult.

And when we encounter those kinds of things,

this is what our temptations are.

We can be kind of like want to give up and check out.

That's one option.

Another option is to kind of withdraw

and to isolate within kind of a Christian holy huddle.

And then there's always the, you know,

I don't care at all whatsoever or anything.

And you just kind of blend into everybody else.

Well, I'm so grateful that God's Word

speaks directly to parents, Christian parents.

And God has us a way to walk, brothers and sisters,

in order to raise our children in the fear of the Lord.

And so here is the call that I want to put out early

on all of you as parents and grandparents,

brothers and sisters, moms and dads,

grandmas and grandpas.

The call this morning is to be faithful to the Lord

in your parenting.

To be faithful to God in your parenting.

Eugene Peterson wrote a book entitled

A Long Obedience in the Same Direction.

Parenting is a long faithfulness in the same direction.

Aiming our children at God over and over and over again.

So this morning, as part of our study in the book of Proverbs,

I'm going to do a bit of a survey of the book of Proverbs.

And I'm going to point you to six wise ways,

six wise ways we parent our children to the Lord,

how to be faithful to the Lord.

And the first way is that wise parents fear God first.

Wise parents fear God first.

Christian parenting doesn't start with your children.

Christian parenting does not start with a parenting book

and learning some skills.

Christian parenting starts first with God.

Fear God first.

In Proverbs 9.10, we learn that the fear of the Lord

is the beginning of wisdom.

Wisdom is a life skill of crafting a life

that is pleasing to God.

And you craft a life according to the fear of the Lord.

And that word fear is better understood

as kind of a reverence,

a controlling reverence of your entire life.

It's this controlling reality that governs all that you do.

And all throughout this series,

I've been trying to put a little bit of an illustration in your minds

as to the central operating system of your computer, your life.

Proverbs depicts two ways to live, wisdom and folly.

And there's two different operating systems at work in each of us.

There's the operating system of the flesh,

which moves towards folly.

And then there's the operating system of faith,

which moves towards wisdom.

And the operating system of the flesh,

what is the governing reality of that system is me,

is you, is what we want.

The world revolves around me.

It's me centered.

But the operating system of the faith,

of wisdom, is God centered.

It's God is the controlling reality of all of our lives.

And this is where I get to preach the cross right now to you.

Because it's the cross of Jesus Christ

that delivers us daily

from the operating system of the flesh

and delivers us to the operating system of faith.

From living a life for me

to living a life for God and His glory.

Every day,

the cross of Jesus Christ

delivers me from the flesh to faith.

faith.

An operating system in a computer

controls all of a computer's applications.

And the operating system of faith,

fearing God above all else,

it governs the application of parenting in our lives.

We will either be governed by our flesh in our parenting,

or we will be governed by faith.

If you turn in your Bibles to Proverbs 14,

chapter 14, verse 26,

we read this.

In the fear of the Lord,

one has strong confidence,

and his children will have a refuge.

You see the logic?

When I fear God above all else,

God uses that to refuge my children.

There's two applications of this.

Moms and dads,

grandmas and grandpas.

The greatest way to love your children,

to raise your children where it all starts,

the greatest thing that you can do for your children

is to love God with all that you've got.

To fear Him above all else.

To see who He is

and allow that to govern all that you are.

Every day,

every morning,

you need to go into the settings of your heart

and disable, by faith,

the old operating system of flesh.

You say no to that,

and you flip on through the cross and say,

I am going to live for the glory of God today.

I am going to fear Him above all else

because He is worthy.

Daily, you turn from living for yourself

to trusting in Christ,

and that's the best thing that you can do for your children.

In the fear of the Lord,

one has strong confidence,

and his children will have a refuge.

But it also,

another application of this

is when you fear the Lord,

and that's the governing reality of your life.

It's the operating system,

the program that's governing all other applications.

You start to understand

what the goal is in your parenting.

For every parent,

the goal is to raise their children

to be a responsible adult.

That's the baseline.

But it doesn't go far enough

for Christian parents.

For Christian parents,

the goal is to raise your children

to be responsible adults

who fear the Lord.

And that becomes the governing reality

of our lives,

of their lives.

And I think you're probably starting to feel right now

this sense of,

this is beyond me.

And well, you should.

The goal is to raise our children

to become responsible adults

who fear the Lord.

The strategy, then,

is not behavioral modification.

The strategy to that goal

is to address our children's hearts

over and over and over again.

Because your child's heart

is the control center of their life.

And when you address that as a parent

over and over and over again,

you train them.

You train them in fearing the Lord.

So we have the goal.

The goal is to train your children

to fear the Lord.

The strategy is to attend to their heart.

And now there are tactics to that.

The way that you train a young child

in addressing their heart

so that they fear the Lord

is going to be different tactically

than addressing a teenager

and addressing their heart

to fear the Lord.

The same goal, same strategy,

different tactics.

Wise parents,

fear God first.

Moms and dads,

grandmas and grandpas.

The call on your life

is to be faithful to the Lord

in your parenting.

Wise way number two.

Wise parents,

obey God's call.

Obey God's call.

If you flip in your Bible

to Proverbs 22, verse 6,

Proverbs 22:6

this is a classic Bible verse

many of you are familiar with

if you've been around the church.

But oftentimes,

it's somewhat misunderstood.

Train up a child

in the way he should go.

Even when he's old,

he will not depart from it.

And we can use that proverb

as a promise.

But that's not how proverbs work.

A proverb isn't a promise per se

as much as it is a truism.

Generally speaking,

typically,

when you raise up a child

in the fear of the Lord,

when he's old,

he will not depart from it.

What I want to emphasize

in this verse

is not the second half of it,

but the first half.

Because in the first half

is a command.

It's an imperative.

Train up a child

in the way he should go,

in the way of wisdom,

in fearing the Lord.

It's a command,

brothers and sisters,

moms and dads,

grandmas and grandpas.

It's a command to us.

God is calling us

to train up our children

in God's ways.

It's not just a good idea.

It's not something

you acknowledge as a parent

and then move on

with the rest of your day.

It's something you obey.

Take it to heart

and you act on it.

Now, I want you to imagine

a dude ranch in Wyoming.

And as you're looking

at this dude ranch,

you come into sight

of this circular pen.

It's fenced in.

And in that pen,

in the middle of that pen,

is an old-season cowboy.

And in his left hand,

there is a rope

leading to this thoroughbred stallion.

And that stallion

is running around

the circumference

of that pen.

And that rope

is attached to the stallion,

the bit and the bridle

on that horse.

And on the right hand

of this cowboy

is a long stick.

And he is tapping

the rear end

of that stallion.

And he's prodded on.

And that stallion

is moving around,

going from right to left

in the pen,

day after day,

week after week.

That cowboy

is training

that stallion

to feel the pressure.

Feel the pressure

on the bridle and bit

and respond

to the slightest tug

in the bit and bridle.

And it turns left.

And then he turns

that stallion around

and puts the rod

in his left hand

and the lead

in his right.

And he trains

that stallion

to pull to the right

day after day.

Week after week.

Training.

Purposeful.

Diligent.

This cowboy

sees the potential

in this stallion.

And above all else,

he wants that stallion

to ride trails well.

We're not raising stallions.

We're raising image bearers.

We're raising worshipers.

And it takes

careful,

diligent,

patient,

purposeful training

over and over

and over again

to help our children

respond to the slightest

tug of God's word.

To go to the left

as God would have them

or go to the right

and to walk on the path

of wisdom.

Our goal

as moms and dads

is to train our children

to fear the Lord

so that they fear Him

when they leave our homes.

So that they know

how to walk

the path of wisdom.

Because we have

labored to that end

in their lives.

Now, I want to let you know

that a family

is not a boot camp.

The way we train

our children

is not by

having a sergeant

yelling at our kids.

The way

that we raise

our children

is what Paul Tripp

calls

a loving,

learning community.

That's what a family is.

That's God's design.

That's Deuteronomy

Deuteronomy 6 · chapter mention

chapter 6,

4 through 7,

the Shema.

Hear, O Israel,

the Lord your God

the Lord is one.

You shall love Him

with everything you've got.

His word should be

on your hearts, parents.

And then you speak

that word

to your children

24-7

wherever you go

always

teaching your children

God's words.

The family

is a learning community.

And moms and dads

you've been called

to train your children

to get them ready

to get them used

to God's word.

And here's

what's so sweet.

God in His

glorious sovereignty

has placed

each one

of your children

and grandchildren

in your life.

He intends

for you

to train them.

He wants to show

His goodness

to your children

through you

that they would

follow Him

and you would

show them the way

which means

you've been sent.

God has sent

you moms and dads

to your learning

communities

to train your children

to fear Him

to love Him

to learn

to respond

to His words.

Wise parents

obey God's call.

Do you know

that you've been called?

Are you aware

of what God

requires of you

moms and dads?

That this is

His word.

So the question is

have you been

neglecting it?

Have you been

avoiding

or minimizing

this good

responsibility

entrusted to you?

Do you need

to take

a humble

U-turn

in the way

that you have

been living

and utilizing

your time

with your children?

If you're married

are you and your

spouse on the same

page?

Despite what

others may say

or model

being a

Christian parent

is one of the

greatest

responsibilities

and privileges

of your

entire life.

Your life.

Your life.

Wise parents

obey God's call.

The goal

brothers and sisters

is to be faithful

to the Lord

in our

parenting.

Which brings

me to

the third

way.

Wise parents

pray God's

will.

Now I can

only imagine

coming off that

last point

some of you

are thinking

I am such

a loser

of a parent

and you become

ashamed of

yourself.

You think about

all the ways

you blew it.

You think of

yourself as a

failure.

failure.

Or maybe

you are just

kind of like

hearing this

and you are

hearing it for

the first time

and I am like

I never knew

that this is

what God

required of

me.

And now you

feel overwhelmed.

You feel like

you are out of

your league.

And so you are

starting to doubt

yourself.

I can't do

that.

Or maybe

yet there is

another group

of parents in

the room.

They are like

yeah.

Just give me

the plan.

I will rock

this thing.

And so it is

not being

ashamed of

yourself.

It is not

doubting

yourself.

It is like

trusting in

yourself.

I can do

this.

Yeah.

No big

deal.

Well you

don't need

to be ashamed

nor do you

need to doubt

yourself nor

should you

trust yourself

because Proverbs

3, 5, and 6

says what?

Trust in the

Lord with

all of your

heart.

Lean not

on your own

understanding

and in

all of your

parenting ways

acknowledge

him

and he

will make

straight your

paths.

And the

principal way

in which we

acknowledge God

is by praying

to him.

And not just

saying acknowledging

God's existence

yes Lord I know

you're there

but you're

praying God's

will.

You're taking

your cues from

Jesus himself

who taught us

to pray.

Our Father

who is in

heaven.

Hallowed be

your name.

Your kingdom

come.

Your will

be done.

On earth

in my home

as it is in

heaven.

You're praying

God's will

as you

acknowledge him

in your

parenting ways.

Wise parents

just to let

you know

wise parents

are always

desperately

praying for

their children.

That kind

of desperation

crazy praying

that's normal

for Christian

parents.

It's normal

for Christian

grandparents.

You're so

burdened for

your children

and recognize

that it's

God alone

that can

change their

hearts.

You just

cry out to

him regularly.

Wise parents

pray God's

will.

You know

parenting is like

firefighting.

When your

four-year-old

melts down

in front of

you they are

producing kind

of this kind

of heat.

Or when your

middle schooler

and your high

schooler are at

odds again and

it leads to

tears and then

doors are

slammed and

then there's

this he says

she says not

that Jenny and

I have experienced

that in our

home.

Same fight

different day.

These kind of

meltdowns and

sibling fights

they generate

this kind of

heat and

then you find

out one of

your children

is looking at

pornography on

the side.

That's heat.

And the

mistake that we

can make as

parents is run

from the fire

when it actually

is it's God

giving you an

opportunity

brothers and

sisters.

this is an

opportunity to

train before a

firefighter runs

into a burning

building they

make sure that

their mask is

affixed and

that their oxygen

tank is turned

on and they

go in for the

rescue.

Prayer is the

means by which

we access

God's life

giving grace

in times of

heated

situations.

A wise

parent is

seeking

the Lord

when they

encounter

heat

from their

children

and they

prayerfully

move towards

the fire

trusting God's

going to provide

the grace

in the moment

to rescue

their children

yet again.

when confronted

with heated

parenting

opportunities

we must

be aligning

ourselves

with the

will of

our

Father.

So let

me ask you

this.

Are you

in your

parenting

ways

acknowledging

Him?

Are you

looking to

your God

regularly

when it

comes to

parenting

your

children

or

grandparenting

your

grandchildren?

Are you

seeking

Him?

Are you

prayerfully

crying out

to Him

for help?

Is there

a specific

reoccurring

parenting

opportunity?

It's a

hot spot

that regularly

lights up

again in

your children.

Maybe it's

your four-year-old

melting down,

maybe it's

your 16-year-old

provoking your

10-year-old,

start seeing

that as an

opportunity to

parent your

children, to

train them.

Start praying

towards that.

God's will be

done in your

family on

earth as it

is in

heaven.

Wise parents

pray God's

will.

Moms and

dads, are you

praying?

You must be

faithful to God

in your

parenting.

Four.

Wise parents

minister God's

word.

Wise parents

minister God's

word constantly.

Maybe you're

like, I did

not know I

signed up to

this for this.

God has

deputized you,

mom and

dad.

He has

called you

and authorized

you to

minister his

word to each

of your

children.

If you would

flip back to

Deuteronomy

Deuteronomy 6 · chapter mention

chapter 6,

4 through 7.

This is called

the Shema.

Hear,

O Israel,

the Lord our

God, the Lord

is one.

That's verse 4.

That's saying

there's no other

God but this

God, Yahweh.

Verse 5,

how we respond,

you shall love

the Lord your

God with all

your heart and

with all your

soul and with

all your

might.

The response

to the one

and only God

is to worship

him with

everything you

got, moms

and dads.

And then in

verse 6, we

see, and

these words that

I command you

today shall be

on your heart.

Before it can

get to your

kids, it needs

to come through

you.

God's word

on your

heart,

ready,

governing,

affecting.

And then

verse 7,

you shall teach

them diligently

to your

children and

shall talk

of them when

you sit in

your house and

when you walk

by the way and

when you lie

down and when

you rise.

God's word

is living

and active.

It penetrates

separating bone

from marrow.

God's word,

every word is

breathed out by

God and

profitable for

teaching,

correcting,

reproof, and

training in

righteousness.

We want to get

these words into

our children's

hearts.

And God has

called us to do

this 24-7

everywhere we

go.

Speaking God's

word in season

and out of

season, when

it's convenient

and when it's

inconvenient.

Here's what you

need to

understand.

There is this

phrase all

throughout the

book of

Proverbs.

It goes

something like

this.

My son,

listen.

Hear my

son.

My son,

do not forsake

my words.

Do not spurn

your mother's

instruction.

My son,

hear me out.

My son,

don't go that

way.

My son,

my son,

over 40

times in

the book of

Proverbs,

you have this

repeated phrase

of a dad

calling his

son to hear

his words.

And in his

father's words

are God's

words.

We're seeing

Deuteronomy 6,

4-7 played

out all

throughout the

book of

Proverbs.

It's a

call.

Time and

time again.

This dad

and this

mom,

both moms

and dads,

we see that

in 1-8 and

6-20,

both moms

and dads

are communicating

God's word to

their children.

Now, if you're a

single mom or

dad, don't

fear.

God's word

is powerful.

He can use

you.

He used

Timothy's mom

to raise

him up

with his

grandma

to become

one who

fears the

Lord.

What we

see modeled

in the book

of Proverbs

is a

parent

regularly

speaking

God's

words to

his sons

and children

again and

again and

again.

1-8,

2-1,

3-1,

4-1 through

4,

4-20,

5-1,

and on

and on

and on

over 40

times.

And in

those 40

or so

times,

this

father

addresses

the fear

of the

Lord,

the contrast

between

wisdom and

folly,

who your

companions

are,

he who is

wise who

walks with

the wise,

but a

companion of

fools will

suffer harm,

whether that

is in the

physical world

or whether

that's in

the virtual

world with

social media.

Has anybody

seen the

social dilemma

yet on

Netflix?

It doesn't

address the

biggest problem

of sin in

the human

heart,

but it

does help

us understand

the extent

and the

manipulation

of social

media.

We're going

to watch it

with our

own children

so that they

understand what's

at stake.

So your

companions

matter.

Self-control,

sexual purity,

speech,

not envying

sinners,

hard work,

ethic,

stewardship of

your resources.

What we see

modeled in

Proverbs is

that moms

and dads

minister God's

word.

In our

house, we

have a third

story room.

I call it the

pastoral

workshop.

I write a lot

of sermons up

there.

And so I'm

usually up there

Thursday,

Friday,

Saturday,

writing a

sermon.

And I have

this great

view of our

neighborhood.

Three nice

big windows.

I'm looking at

our neighborhood

and I always

see the mail

carrier making

his or her

way to every

house.

He's got this

addressed parcel

of words that

he is going to

bring to a

specific house

and he's going

to drop that

into the mail

slot of the

house.

house.

And at that

point, it's

up to the

resident to do

with the mail

with what the

mail needs to

be done.

Respond

accordingly.

Parents, we

deliver the mail.

We deliver the

mail of God's

word.

Every day.

Multiple times

a day.

We're bringing

God's word

addressed uniquely

to each of our

children because we

know them.

children and

we're going to

bring it to each

of our children

and drop it

into the mail

slot of their

heart and then

we're going to

trust that to

them and the

Lord.

They need to

respond to that.

We pray that

they will.

We pray that God

would open their

hearts but we're

constantly delivering

the mail of God's

very words.

So let me ask you

a couple questions.

When you hear that

wise parents minister

God's word, do you

feel the weight and

privilege of that?

You should.

You realize that God

has called you to

this.

This is one of the

greatest responsibilities

and privileges of

your life as a

Christian.

This is what it

means to make

disciples of Jesus

of our children.

children.

Second question, are

you actively taking

God's word into

your own heart?

Are you coming

before God in his

word?

It's the Deuteronomy

6 part of the

Shema.

Is God's word

functioning in your

heart, governing

your life, changing

you from the inside

out?

There is an

integrity principle

here, brothers and

sisters.

Be sure you're

taking it in before

you start dishing it

out.

Be a man or woman

of integrity.

Are you seeing

areas of your life,

your children's life,

that you need to

deliver God's word

to?

Take it.

Deliver the mail.

Trust God with it.

Trust God that he

can use his word to

bring about a heart

change in your child

forever.

There is a particular

area that I want you

to consider, moms and

dads.

There is an encroachment

in our culture on

Sunday mornings.

It's children's sports.

I'm all for sports.

But Sunday morning

when the church

gathers to receive

God's word and

sing God's praises,

that is a very

important value to

show our children,

to instruct them.

So moms and dads,

if you have not

wrestled through this

one yet, you need

to.

How to manage your

family and your

children's activities

in sports on

Sundays.

There's a way to

trust God there.

In our family, we

made it a very clear

rule that the

Salvadis were not

going to participate

in group sports

on Sunday mornings

because as for me

and my house, we're

going to worship the

Lord on Sunday

mornings.

We're going to

establish that as a

norm.

And there will be

exceptions from time

to time, but it's

the norm.

Because it's about

values.

If you're saying no to

this, what are you

saying?

There's much to

consider here.

But moms and dads,

we are to minister

God's word.

We must be faithful

to God in our

parenting.

Point five.

Wise parents redeem

God-given

opportunities.

You might be asking

now, well, how do I

do this?

How do I train up my

child in the way he or

she should go?

How do I do this?

What does that look

like?

Well, I want to give

you an aid, an A-I-D

to anticipate, to

intervene, and to

debrief as a parent.

You're chilled.

But before we can talk

about the parent aid, I

just want to help you

think about something

else that doesn't get

talked about, but we

need to talk about it.

It's about the context

the relationships with

your children.

Training our children

to fear the Lord is

best done, best done,

in a context of love

and trust.

If you look at Proverbs

23, 26, we read this.

My son, give me your

heart and let your eyes

observe my ways.

Do you know what that

means?

Give me your heart.

Trust me, son.

Give me your confidence.

It's trust.

And in order for someone

to see, observe your

ways, you need to be

close.

Proximity.

So, before we talk

about the parent aid, we

need to talk about

relationships.

To invest in your

children.

To establish rhythms in

your family's life.

Reading the Bible.

Eating meals together.

Driving your children

to school.

These are all

opportunities to build

trust and proximity

with your children.

So you can deliver the

mail.

To delight in them.

To know them.

Watching TV together.

Reading at night

together.

There's so many things

that we can be doing

to build our

relationship.

To establish this

context of love and

trust.

Because we've got

training to do,

brothers, sisters.

So let's talk about

the parent aid.

A good coach is going

to not only just know

his team.

He's going to know

the individual players

on his team.

He's going to know

how individual players

respond to different

situations.

And so a good coach is

going to anticipate how

his player is going to

respond to this

particular situation and

he's going to prepare

him for it.

And then before the game

starts, he's going to

anticipate and prepare.

And then during the game,

he's going to intervene.

Because when his

quarterback starts flipping

out, he's going to say,

time out.

Quarterback comes over.

He's going to correct him

on some things.

And even might exercise

some discipline.

Your bench buddy, all for

that player's good.

And then he puts him

back in.

He intervenes.

And then after the game,

they debrief.

Hey, what did we learn

from this play?

Hey, what did we learn

from that?

And it helps anticipate

the next time around.

parents are coaches.

We're coaching our kids,

cheering them on, to fear

the Lord, to walk in

wisdom.

And there are going to be

some things that we need

to anticipate with our

children.

We need to help them think

things through, understand

consequences.

What will happen if you

step off the path of

wisdom into folly?

Help them think that

through.

Right now, I'm helping

my youngest daughter,

Mary.

Every day we go to school,

I'm asking her.

I'm building a relationship.

I'm praying with her.

We're pulling up to

K-Tech West.

And I am asking her a

series of questions.

I'm trying to build into

her a Christian worldview.

Here's the four questions

I ask her on a regular

basis.

Mary, where do we come

from?

God.

God created us.

Mary, every human being

in the K-Techs building

is an image bearer of God.

They're going to worship

something.

Second question.

Mary, what's our biggest

problem?

Our biggest problem is our

disobedience to God.

It's sin.

Mary, there's going to be

people in the building

saying our greatest problem

is something else.

But that's not what God's

word says.

Mary, what is God's

greatest solution to that

problem?

Jesus.

on the cross.

Mary, every person in

that building needs

Jesus.

Mary, what's the greatest

hope we have?

When Jesus comes back,

Dad, he's going to make

all wrongs right.

In those four questions,

I'm training my daughter

to anticipate what she

will encounter.

Not just that day in

K-Tech, but for the rest

of our lives.

us.

How to view the world.

But it also means we're

preparing our children for

pointed issues.

In Proverbs 5, 6, and 7,

that wise dad prepares his

son when he encounters an

adulteress.

He knows it's coming.

He prepares him beforehand.

Don't go that way, son.

It's going to happen, and

when it happens, you bolt.

We need to be having

conversations now.

Right now, Jenny and I

have conversations with our

children about what marriage

is between one man, one

woman, together, for life.

We're framing things.

We're getting ahead of

conversations that will

surely come.

We're anticipating things,

both on a larger scale

and smaller scale.

And of course, there's going

to be times when we need

to intervene.

When we call a timeout,

when our four-year-old's

melting down, when our

teenagers are fighting again,

we need to call a timeout,

and sometimes we're going to

have to discipline.

The book of Proverbs doesn't

shy away from discipline.

It doesn't shy away with the

application of the rod.

I'm not going to expand on

that right now, but I do

have some Proverbs I want to

give you to look it up if

that seems new to you.

Proverbs 22.6, 22.15, 23,

13 through 14, 29.15, 29.17.

Wisdom uses discipline to

train our children to

get off the way of

folly and back on the way

of wisdom.

There's a way to exercise

discipline that is pleasing

to God and loving of our

children.

There's a really helpful book.

It's old now.

It's called Shepherding a

Child's Heart.

It's by Paul Tripp's brother,

Ted Tripp.

And in this book, there's a

very helpful piece on the use

of the rod.

I would encourage you to look

it up.

There's another very helpful

book by Paul Tripp.

It's called Parenting.

It's his latest release on

parenting.

I would recommend it to

parents and grandparents

alike.

If you're parenting a

teenager, Paul David Tripp

wrote this book, Age of

Opportunity.

It's a little dated now, but

it's very helpful.

I would recommend them all

to you.

When you discipline your

children, what you want to be

sure you're doing is you're

being clear in what the

expectations are, clear in

what the consequences will be,

and then consistent in the

application of it.

We intervene.

We call timeouts.

And when we intervene, it is

always a gospel opportunity,

moms and dads.

When our children step off the

path of blessing into folly,

they sin.

And we say that too, son,

daughter.

That's why Jesus died.

That's why we need him to,

why he shed his blood.

For that.

And we lead them in seeking

God's forgiveness.

A-I-D, debrief.

Later during the day, you

circle back to stuff.

Hey, have you thought further

about that?

Any further thoughts?

How are you going to deal

with it next time?

And so, our anticipating, our

intervening, our debriefing,

this is the way we do

parenting.

In the context of loving,

trusting relationships.

So the question is, what is the

opportunity right now?

God is giving you to aid your

children.

Can you identify it?

Are you ready to bring the

mail?

Show the love?

Train them up?

We need to redeem God's,

God-given opportunities.

We need to be faithful to the

Lord.

The last piece, and I'll be

quick.

Wise parents trust in God's

grace.

Parenting is a long faithfulness

in the same direction.

You're going to be parenting your

children through different seasons

of their life.

It's hard work.

There's head scratching

confusion.

There will be heartache.

Your children will choose to do

foolish things.

You will do foolish things.

You will make mistakes.

You will sin against your

children.

You're going to be needing God's

grace over and over and over

again.

And our great God is lavish with

his grace.

He gives it to parents.

He gives it to children.

He wants his grace permeating

our lives because God wants your

children to fear him more than you

do.

And he's got the power to do

that.

Because of the challenging nature

of parenting, we are in constant

need of God's grace.

Constant need of God's grace.

So we're always calling out for it.

And God's always given it.

Every Christian has somewhere to

turn in their parenting.

You're never without options.

Every Christian parent needs to

turn to Jesus to abide in him

through prayer and obedience to

his word.

We attach ourselves to Jesus

every day.

He's the vine.

We are the branches.

Apart from him, we can do no good

parenting thing.

But we also have each other.

We get to abide in Jesus together

as we raise our children.

We have this unique privilege as a

church to follow Jesus together

and to raise up the next

generation together.

Parenting is hard.

So we get to encourage one another

when there's hardship.

We get to share wisdom with one

another when we're scratching our

heads wondering what to do.

We get to comfort one another

when one of us learns our child

has done something very foolish.

And we get to rejoice with one

another when God does a work.

And we say hallelujah.

We've been praying for that.

We're in this together, moms and dads,

grandmas and grandpas.

So not do we just seek Jesus.

We seek each other.

Fear God first.

Obey God's call.

Pray God's will.

Minister God's word.

Redeem God's opportunities.

Trust God's grace.

That's how we do it.

That's how we make disciples of our

children and fulfill the great

commission in our homes.

Pray with me.

God in heaven,

this is a lot of information.

And I pray now, God,

for those who are feeling

like they don't measure up,

they're ashamed of themselves,

or they feel overwhelmed,

or their tendency is to trust

in themselves.

God, we ask that you would help us

to trust you with all of our hearts.

To lean not on our own understanding.

In all of our ways,

acknowledge you,

and you will make straight our paths.

God, would you pour out your Holy Spirit

in us and through us

to affect heart change in our children

that only you can do.

God, raise up for yourself

a generation to follow us

who love you with everything they got.

In Jesus' name, amen.