Sermon

Christ Central Families

Christ the King Church Sermons

Open publisher episode ↗

Publisher transcript

Transcript

View source ↗
  1. All right, if you would open up your Bibles, if you haven't, to Colossians chapter 3.

    Colossians 3 chapter mention

  2. If you're new here for the first time, I've been preaching through the book of Colossians,

  3. and we've entered this section of Colossians called the household rules.

  4. And so a couple weeks ago, I preached on Christ-centered marriages.

  5. Next week, I'm going to preach on Christ-centered employment.

  6. And this morning, I get to preach on Christ-centered families.

  7. And so if you would look at two verses, verses 20 and 21 of chapter 3, it's on page 1170 of your pew Bible.

  8. Hear God's word.

  9. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

  10. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

  11. May God bless not just the hearing, and not just the preaching of the word, but the doing of this word.

  12. Do I have an amen?

  13. Amen.

  14. Okay, kids.

  15. You're in with us today, and I'm so thankful.

  16. I'm going to start off with asking you to draw a picture for me.

  17. Do you know what a greenhouse is?

  18. Children, if you're in the room 18 and under, say yes.

  19. Glad to know that we have one child 18 and under in the room.

  20. A greenhouse is a building with a lot of glass.

  21. And a greenhouse has really one purpose, to grow plants.

  22. You grow plants in a greenhouse to send them out to be replanted in other places.

  23. And so maybe you've been to Steins with your parents, totally boring, but you might have been in a greenhouse.

  24. Breezy Hill, you've got a greenhouse.

  25. Greenhouse.

  26. And if you're in a greenhouse, you walk into a greenhouse, you are immediately met by a number of things.

  27. You're met by the temperature, right?

  28. The temperature's just got to be right for a greenhouse.

  29. And then you're also, you kind of feel the moisture in the air.

  30. It's humid.

  31. It's got to be right for a greenhouse.

  32. And then all the glass, there's got to be a lot of sunlight.

  33. And when you have those three things working together, you've got an environment for growth.

  34. A Christian family is God's greenhouse for growing godly kids.

  35. A Christian family is a place where children grow up and then are sent out.

  36. And so, brothers and sisters, if we want to grow children who love the Lord, do you know what that means?

  37. Jesus Christ must be the controlling center of our families.

  38. And when Jesus Christ is the controlling center of our families, we will find ourselves in a Christ-rich environment.

  39. I've got four points this morning in this sermon.

  40. First one is this, vision.

  41. I want to cast vision for the families in this room right now for a Christ-centered family.

  42. A greenhouse.

  43. And then I get to address kids, 18 and under.

  44. That point is for you.

  45. And there's one word you're going to need to hear.

  46. It's the word obey.

  47. And then the third point is to dads.

  48. Fathers.

  49. And you've got one word too.

  50. It's lead, brothers.

  51. Lead.

  52. There's a way not to lead and then there's a way to lead in your homes.

  53. And then finally, I get to speak a word of grace.

  54. Because many of us in the room are living in the, but what if?

  55. What if I blew it?

  56. Oh, there is grace for you.

  57. Christ must be the controlling center of our families.

  58. And when he is, and he's the king of grace, not only do children grow, but parents grow too.

  59. So let me give you a vision for the Christian family.

  60. And this is point one of the sermon.

  61. What needs to be happening within a church family, within a Christian family, in order for children to grow in godliness?

  62. What needs to be true?

  63. Well, I'd like to point you to two things.

  64. I want to help you see something.

  65. The first is, Christian mom and dad, you've got to see yourself as God sees you.

  66. You've got to remember who you are.

  67. This kind of like theological amnesia.

  68. You forget who you are?

  69. You've got to remind yourself of who you are.

  70. So let me just remind you who you are by a kind of brief and amazing review of the book of Colossians.

  71. Mom and dad, you used to be living in the domain of darkness, but you were transferred into the kingdom of the beloved son.

  72. That's who you are now.

  73. You have a new king and a new kingdom.

  74. King of grace.

  75. He is the firstborn of creation.

  76. He's the firstborn from the dead.

  77. He's the king of all.

  78. And not only that, you've got a new identity.

  79. You've died with Christ and you've been raised with Christ.

  80. Chapter 2, verse 20.

  81. Chapter 3, verse 1.

  82. You're united with Christ in his death and resurrection.

  83. You've got a new identity.

  84. And you also have a new aim.

  85. In chapter 3, verse 1, we read this.

  86. If you then have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above.

  87. Where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.

  88. Brothers and sisters, moms and dads, you've got a new aim.

  89. For your households.

  90. Christ in heaven, who is reigning on high.

  91. We also have a new time frame.

  92. Church, what time is it?

  93. You're living on Christ's time.

  94. We live between his first coming and his second coming.

  95. Which means we're living with a whole new perspective.

  96. An eternal perspective.

  97. That helps us not to live for the temporary trinkets of the world.

  98. And for the timeless treasures of Christ.

  99. We live on Christ's time.

  100. And then what we've been seeing in verses 5 through 14 of chapter 3 is,

  101. you've got a whole new wardrobe, brother.

  102. Sister, you've got a whole new dress to wear.

  103. You are to put off the old grave clothes of who you were when you were dead to God.

  104. You don't wear those anymore.

  105. And you're to put on the new self, which is being renewed in the likeness of your creator.

  106. Verse 10, chapter 3.

  107. That's Christ wear.

  108. You're to put on Christ likeness, mom.

  109. Dad, you're to put on Christ likeness.

  110. Compassionate hearts.

  111. Humility.

  112. Kindness.

  113. Patience.

  114. Bearing with one another.

  115. Forgiving one another.

  116. And above all else, you put on the love.

  117. Christ-like love.

  118. The new commandment love.

  119. Now, if you are trying to parent in your old grave clothes,

  120. you know what kind of environment that's going to create?

  121. That's going to create a toxic environment.

  122. What you want to be wearing is your Christ wear.

  123. And when you are breathing in Christ-rich air,

  124. and you're putting on Christ likeness,

  125. you're remembering who you are.

  126. So the first thing in terms of kind of this vision for a Christian family,

  127. you've got to remember who you are.

  128. You've got to see yourself the way that God sees you.

  129. The second thing I want to point you to is this.

  130. It's what's got to be happening in your home.

  131. It's not just remembering who you are,

  132. not just seeing yourself as God sees you.

  133. It's seeing your home for what it can be.

  134. And we can see that from verses 15, 16, and 17.

  135. I'll just be quick.

  136. Do you remember how a greenhouse,

  137. you need the right temperature,

  138. you also need the right amount of moisture,

  139. and you need sunlight?

  140. For your greenhouse, brothers and sisters,

  141. you need the peace of Christ ruling in your heart.

  142. That's setting a temperature,

  143. a warm temperature to raise children.

  144. The peace of Christ is the shalom,

  145. the peace that Christ accomplished between you and God

  146. by dying on the cross for your sins,

  147. and now we are able to bring that peace into our homes.

  148. We're to be peacemakers now,

  149. ruling our hearts

  150. and helping it rule our children's hearts.

  151. If you want a good book

  152. on how to make peace in your family,

  153. there's one that's second to none.

  154. It's Ken Sandy, Peacemaking for Families.

  155. I would highly recommend it.

  156. So the right temperature is this,

  157. verse 15,

  158. the peace of Christ ruling in your hearts,

  159. mom and dad.

  160. That's, you're set,

  161. you're creating a greenhouse

  162. for your children to grow in that.

  163. Not hostility.

  164. Not what you see

  165. in verses 8 and 9,

  166. anger, wrath, malice, slander, obscene talk,

  167. lying to one another.

  168. That's grave clothes.

  169. You don't want to raise your kids in that.

  170. You want to put on what you see in verse 12.

  171. You want to raise them in that.

  172. Verse 16,

  173. the word of Christ dwelling richly among you.

  174. If you look back at Deuteronomy 6,

    Deuteronomy 6:4–7

  175. verses 4 through 7,

  176. it's called the Shema.

  177. Hear, O Israel,

  178. the Lord your God,

  179. the Lord is one.

  180. Love the Lord your God

  181. with all that you've got,

  182. and you're to have the word,

  183. his word on your heart

  184. and you're going to instruct your children

  185. wherever you go,

  186. night and day,

  187. when you rise and when you fall,

  188. when you're driving them to school

  189. or bringing them to Meijer,

  190. constantly talking about God's word.

  191. It's the saturation of scripture.

  192. It's like walking into a greenhouse

  193. where you feel the moisture in the air.

  194. Your home should be saturated

  195. with the scriptures

  196. that point to the Savior.

  197. It's a Christ-rich environment.

  198. How do you do that?

  199. Well, if you want something very structured,

  200. the New City Catechism

  201. would be a great way to do that.

  202. Another way is,

  203. when I was a young dad,

  204. I used what I call

  205. the King Penguin approach,

  206. and that is,

  207. I would wake up

  208. before anybody woke up in my house,

  209. and I would have my nose

  210. in my Bible,

  211. and I would be reading my Bible,

  212. and then,

  213. whether it's over breakfast,

  214. over dinner,

  215. I would start a conversation

  216. with my kids,

  217. and I would say something like,

  218. do you know what I read

  219. in my Bible today?

  220. I'm just kind of regurgitating

  221. that to them

  222. in the best sense.

  223. I want to help them

  224. digest God's word.

  225. So it's coming from me.

  226. I'm helping them

  227. experience the goodness of God's word.

  228. Verse 17,

  229. the name of Christ.

  230. Do everything in the name

  231. of the Lord Jesus.

  232. Do everything.

  233. This is the sunlight.

  234. Not S-U-N light.

  235. S-O-N light.

  236. Let Jesus shine

  237. in your homes,

  238. brothers and sisters.

  239. Make much of him.

  240. Do everything in his name.

  241. Help your children

  242. do everything in his name.

  243. Here's something.

  244. You could just kind of

  245. huddle up sometime

  246. in the morning,

  247. and dads,

  248. you lead out.

  249. You say something like,

  250. Lord Jesus,

  251. we commit our day to you.

  252. We want to live for you today.

  253. We want to do everything,

  254. word and deed.

  255. We want to do it

  256. for your name,

  257. for your glory.

  258. Do you know why?

  259. Because Jesus is the son

  260. of our solar system.

  261. Everything orbits him.

  262. He's the controlling center

  263. of our lives.

  264. And when you have

  265. these three ingredients

  266. operating in a household,

  267. you've got the peace of Christ

  268. ruling your hearts.

  269. You've got the word of Christ

  270. dwelling richly among you,

  271. and you're doing everything

  272. in the name of Christ.

  273. Do you know what you do?

  274. You know what you're doing?

  275. Can you see it?

  276. You're creating a greenhouse.

  277. Christ-rich place

  278. for your children to grow in.

  279. Now, imagine your children

  280. growing up in that.

  281. That's what you're doing.

  282. Before we move on,

  283. I just want to say

  284. one more thing.

  285. I want you to vision,

  286. you parents,

  287. you've got to parent

  288. a certain way.

  289. It's easy to get sucked

  290. into the tyranny

  291. of the now,

  292. but you've got to be

  293. parenting your kids

  294. with the send in mind.

  295. When they're 18 years old

  296. and they're leading your home,

  297. you've got to be partnering

  298. as a husband and wife,

  299. as a mom and dad.

  300. You're thinking like,

  301. okay, where do they need to be

  302. when they leave our home?

  303. What needs to be true of them?

  304. What needs to be true

  305. of their character

  306. and their conduct?

  307. How do we cultivate

  308. this kind of responsibility?

  309. Mom and dad,

  310. you've been called

  311. to raise adults,

  312. responsible human beings

  313. who love the Lord Jesus

  314. with all that they've got.

  315. And so we parent

  316. with the send in mind.

  317. So your greenhouse,

  318. mom and dad,

  319. that you are building

  320. and creating,

  321. you remind yourself

  322. of who you are,

  323. and then you are bringing

  324. these ingredients,

  325. these components

  326. of growth to bear.

  327. It's all to send them

  328. to be replanted elsewhere

  329. as mature adults

  330. who love the Lord Jesus Christ.

  331. that's a vision

  332. for the Christian family.

  333. You're not going to hear

  334. that on CNN.

  335. You're not going to hear

  336. that on Fox News.

  337. You're not going to see that

  338. and hear that

  339. on your podcasts.

  340. That's coming from this.

  341. It's good.

  342. So we move now

  343. from a vision

  344. for the Christian family,

  345. a greenhouse,

  346. Christ-rich,

  347. Christ-centered,

  348. to now children.

  349. What does God require of you?

  350. If you're 18 and under,

  351. I need you

  352. to make eye contact

  353. with me.

  354. I need you to listen

  355. with what I'm about to say

  356. because this is God

  357. addressing you.

  358. Not me,

  359. God's word.

  360. God's word.

  361. God's word.

  362. It says this,

  363. children,

  364. obey your parents

  365. in everything

  366. for this pleases the Lord.

  367. If parents are creating

  368. this greenhouse,

  369. what is the responsibility

  370. of a child?

  371. And the responsibility

  372. of a child

  373. is to obey their parents

  374. in everything.

  375. What does it mean to obey?

  376. It means to do

  377. what your parents

  378. are telling you to do.

  379. It means to do

  380. what they're asking you to do.

  381. There are two parts

  382. of verse 20.

  383. There is

  384. what you're to do,

  385. obey,

  386. and the motive

  387. to do it.

  388. For this pleases the Lord.

  389. So obeying your parents

  390. is doing what they say.

  391. Kids,

  392. did you know

  393. that your parents

  394. have the responsibility

  395. of raising you?

  396. They have the responsibility

  397. of forming your character,

  398. of helping you learn

  399. how to obey.

  400. obey.

  401. Obedience is learned.

  402. You grow in it.

  403. It forms your character.

  404. And so God

  405. has given your parents

  406. the responsibility

  407. of forming your character

  408. through obedience,

  409. of training you

  410. to obey

  411. and do what's good

  412. and right

  413. in God's eyes.

  414. and children,

  415. your responsibility

  416. is to obey them.

  417. There's this passage

  418. way back

  419. in the Old Testament.

  420. You know the Ten Commandments?

  421. The Fifth Commandment

  422. is this.

  423. Honor your parents,

  424. honor your father

  425. and your mother.

  426. Children,

  427. you're to honor

  428. your mom and dad

  429. because God

  430. has given them

  431. a responsibility

  432. for you

  433. to respect

  434. what God

  435. has given them

  436. for you.

  437. You are to honor them

  438. and the primary way

  439. you honor them

  440. is by obeying them.

  441. Here's what that means.

  442. Your mom or dad

  443. asks you to do something?

  444. Yes, mom.

  445. Yes, dad.

  446. Let me run you

  447. through some examples.

  448. I, I,

  449. this may happen

  450. in your home.

  451. Maybe it doesn't.

  452. Honey, make your bed.

  453. Yes, mom.

  454. Yes, dad.

  455. Clean your room.

  456. Yes, mom.

  457. Yes, dad.

  458. Do you know

  459. what your parents

  460. are doing?

  461. They're training you

  462. to be responsible.

  463. They're forming

  464. your character.

  465. They're helping you

  466. do what's good

  467. and right in God's eyes.

  468. Brush your teeth.

  469. Yes, dad.

  470. Take out the trash.

  471. You got it, dad.

  472. Dad.

  473. Time to wake up.

  474. You got it.

  475. We, you children,

  476. are to obey

  477. in everything

  478. and here's what that means.

  479. You don't get to select

  480. what you can

  481. and cannot obey

  482. with one exception.

  483. If your parents

  484. are telling you

  485. or asking you

  486. to do something

  487. that God forbids,

  488. you may not do that.

  489. your parents

  490. may not

  491. cause you to sin.

  492. Sin against God.

  493. But in everything else,

  494. you obey them.

  495. Now, if you're a teenager

  496. in the room,

  497. you're like,

  498. well, you know what?

  499. I'm a little bit more mature

  500. than an eight-year-old.

  501. And chances are

  502. if you're a teenager

  503. in the room,

  504. your parents are giving you

  505. a little bit more space

  506. to make your own decisions,

  507. right?

  508. That's good.

  509. That's wise parenting.

  510. But here's a situation

  511. that might happen.

  512. Let's say you're going out

  513. with your friends

  514. and your mom or your dad

  515. says,

  516. hey, where are you going?

  517. And you might take that

  518. as some kind of

  519. invasive line of questioning,

  520. but your parents

  521. are actually training you.

  522. They're not asking

  523. something that is

  524. unrealistic.

  525. They want to know

  526. that you're being responsible.

  527. Where are you going?

  528. Who are you going with?

  529. When are you going to be back?

  530. You need to be back

  531. by 10.30.

  532. These are things

  533. that you obey

  534. as a teenager.

  535. You're being formed.

  536. You're being shaped.

  537. And as you do these things

  538. and honor your parents,

  539. it builds trust.

  540. And so they are willing

  541. to kind of give you

  542. some more responsibility.

  543. That's how it works.

  544. But if you defy them,

  545. if you disobey them,

  546. it causes them

  547. to not trust you

  548. and it causes them

  549. to pull back

  550. on the responsibility.

  551. That's not their fault.

  552. That's your fault.

  553. There's a motive in this.

  554. Not only are you

  555. to obey children,

  556. but you are to obey

  557. a certain way

  558. to a certain end.

  559. It's right there.

  560. For this pleases the Lord.

  561. When you honor your parents

  562. by obeying them,

  563. it pleases the Lord.

  564. Kids, do you ever wonder,

  565. man, I wonder

  566. what the Lord's will is.

  567. The Lord's will

  568. is for you

  569. to honor your parents.

  570. It pleases Him.

  571. So here's what that means.

  572. Check this out.

  573. Your parents will drop

  574. to the floor

  575. and you'll be like,

  576. do they need CPR

  577. if you do this?

  578. Your mom, dad comes up

  579. and you'll be like,

  580. hey, sweetheart,

  581. please make your bed.

  582. And you're like,

  583. yes, mom,

  584. for the Lord Jesus!

  585. Glory!

  586. Child, if you did that,

  587. your parents would be like,

  588. here's 10 bucks.

  589. Dad, I love you.

  590. Children, here's what

  591. I'm trying to say.

  592. You might think

  593. that obeying your parents

  594. is to please your parents

  595. and on one level it is,

  596. but the ultimate person

  597. you're looking to please

  598. in your obedience

  599. is Jesus the Lord.

  600. So whenever you're asked

  601. to do something

  602. or told to do something,

  603. you can say,

  604. yes, dad,

  605. for the Lord!

  606. If you want to yell it,

  607. yell it!

  608. But if they ask you

  609. to do something

  610. that's sin against God,

  611. you say,

  612. no, dad,

  613. for the Lord!

  614. You see what I'm saying?

  615. Now, if you can please Jesus

  616. by obeying your parents,

  617. then you can grieve Jesus

  618. by disobeying your parents.

  619. And that might be a flat out,

  620. no, I'm not going to do that,

  621. or it may be something like this,

  622. grumbling,

  623. complaining,

  624. arguing.

  625. When you grumble

  626. and you complain

  627. and you argue,

  628. it's not just making it difficult

  629. for your parents,

  630. you're grieving God

  631. in the moment.

  632. You know what this means?

  633. Okay,

  634. raise your hand

  635. if you've been a child

  636. in the room.

  637. raise your hand

  638. if there was a moment

  639. in time

  640. in your childhood

  641. that you disobeyed your parents.

  642. Oh, like there's 4,000

  643. in my, like,

  644. 13th year alone

  645. I disobeyed my parents.

  646. Do you know what this means?

  647. Children,

  648. you need a Savior.

  649. Kids,

  650. you need a Savior

  651. to rescue you

  652. from the disobedience

  653. disobedience

  654. that's in you.

  655. You need Jesus

  656. just like everybody else

  657. in the room.

  658. Kids,

  659. your parents,

  660. they're God's kindness

  661. to you,

  662. they're in your life,

  663. God has given them

  664. to you

  665. to help raise you

  666. to become adults

  667. who flourish

  668. outside of your,

  669. outside of their home.

  670. Allow them

  671. to lead you.

  672. Allow them

  673. to form you.

  674. Honor them.

  675. We all need a Savior.

  676. So we've gone

  677. from talking about a vision

  678. to addressing kids

  679. and now

  680. what God requires

  681. of Christian fathers.

  682. Verse 21.

  683. Now in verse 20

  684. we see something interesting.

  685. Children obey your parents,

  686. mom and dad,

  687. honor your father

  688. and your mother.

  689. So both parents

  690. have responsibility

  691. for their children

  692. and have authority

  693. to tell them

  694. what to do.

  695. But then in verse 21,

  696. Paul narrows his focus

  697. to purposefully

  698. addressing fathers.

  699. That is not an accident.

  700. Here's why.

  701. Because in God's

  702. good and wise design,

  703. he has,

  704. he has called

  705. men

  706. men to be the leaders

  707. of their homes.

  708. We see that

  709. in verse 19.

  710. A man is to be

  711. a husband

  712. who leads his wife.

  713. And we see that

  714. here in verse 21.

  715. The same man

  716. is to be leading

  717. his children.

  718. Dads,

  719. we are to

  720. create a context

  721. in our homes

  722. where both

  723. our wives

  724. and our children

  725. are thriving

  726. in the Lord.

  727. If you're a dad

  728. in the room,

  729. I want you to feel

  730. the weight

  731. of verse 21

  732. because God

  733. is addressing

  734. you,

  735. brother.

  736. Fathers,

  737. dads,

  738. do not provoke

  739. your children

  740. lest they become

  741. discouraged.

  742. And just to be

  743. clear,

  744. what God

  745. is not saying

  746. is that,

  747. hey dad,

  748. you're the

  749. controlling center

  750. of your family.

  751. No, no.

  752. Christ is.

  753. And so what

  754. that makes you,

  755. dad,

  756. is a manager

  757. of his greenhouse.

  758. You are to

  759. manage the

  760. greenhouse

  761. the Lord Jesus

  762. has given you.

  763. You are to be

  764. making sure

  765. that the temperature

  766. is right.

  767. that the peace

  768. of Christ

  769. is ruling

  770. in your heart,

  771. in your wife's

  772. heart,

  773. in your children's

  774. hearts.

  775. You are to be

  776. making sure

  777. that the moisture

  778. level is right,

  779. that scripture

  780. is saturating

  781. your home.

  782. You are to make

  783. sure

  784. that the sunlight

  785. is shining bright,

  786. that you are doing

  787. everything in the

  788. name of the Lord

  789. Jesus.

  790. I know,

  791. brothers,

  792. that when you can

  793. hear this stuff

  794. that you will be

  795. either like,

  796. hey,

  797. bring it on,

  798. let's do it.

  799. Or you start

  800. thinking like,

  801. ah,

  802. and you can

  803. start making

  804. excuses.

  805. Well,

  806. my dad was,

  807. doesn't matter.

  808. Or you start

  809. thinking,

  810. well,

  811. my wife is like

  812. three times as

  813. spiritually mature

  814. than I am.

  815. Doesn't matter,

  816. brother.

  817. God's calling

  818. you to this.

  819. And when you

  820. step into this,

  821. he has grace

  822. for you,

  823. he's going to

  824. grow you,

  825. and you know

  826. what?

  827. You're going to

  828. say something

  829. like this,

  830. hey,

  831. this kind of

  832. responsibility is

  833. hard,

  834. but it is good

  835. and I delight

  836. in it.

  837. Thank you,

  838. Lord Jesus,

  839. for entrusting

  840. this responsibility

  841. to me.

  842. Remember,

  843. your authority

  844. as the dad

  845. is an outworking

  846. of your

  847. responsibility

  848. given as a dad.

  849. man.

  850. So in verse

  851. 21,

  852. we see two

  853. things.

  854. Brother,

  855. you're told

  856. what not to

  857. do and why.

  858. Do not provoke

  859. your children.

  860. In Ephesians 6,

  861. 4,

  862. it's the parallel

  863. passage.

  864. It says,

  865. do not provoke

  866. your children

  867. to anger.

  868. You're not to

  869. embitter your

  870. children.

  871. You're not to

  872. make them resentful.

  873. Now the question

  874. becomes,

  875. well,

  876. how do you do

  877. that?

  878. How do you

  879. make a child

  880. resentful?

  881. It's not rocket

  882. science because

  883. we've all

  884. experienced this

  885. before in other

  886. venues.

  887. What angers or

  888. embitters a

  889. child is when

  890. you are exercising

  891. your leadership,

  892. dad,

  893. in a way that

  894. is more drill

  895. sergeant than

  896. ambassador for

  897. Jesus.

  898. It's when you

  899. are exercising

  900. your leadership

  901. in your home

  902. with some

  903. kind of

  904. authoritarianism.

  905. You do it

  906. because I

  907. said do it.

  908. That's not

  909. how you lead,

  910. brother,

  911. not in your

  912. home.

  913. That's grave

  914. clothes leadership

  915. in the home.

  916. That's not

  917. Christ wear.

  918. No,

  919. you are

  920. constantly

  921. building your

  922. children into

  923. Christ.

  924. You're serving

  925. Jesus in your

  926. leadership in your

  927. home.

  928. home.

  929. You're the

  930. manager of the

  931. greenhouse.

  932. Jesus is the

  933. owner.

  934. And he's going

  935. to hold you

  936. accountable

  937. some day.

  938. Dads, we can

  939. make this

  940. error of

  941. thinking that

  942. we are the

  943. controlling

  944. centers of our

  945. families when

  946. we're not.

  947. Christ is.

  948. And so we

  949. serve him and

  950. our families in

  951. that.

  952. So the first

  953. mistake is this

  954. mistake of

  955. authoritarianism.

  956. But there's

  957. another mistake

  958. on the other

  959. side of the

  960. spectrum.

  961. And do you

  962. know what it

  963. is?

  964. Abdication.

  965. It's still

  966. self-serving.

  967. Like

  968. authoritarianism

  969. is a kind of

  970. self-serving.

  971. my children

  972. exist for me.

  973. Or abdication is

  974. this idea of I

  975. am rejecting the

  976. responsibility and

  977. authority that the

  978. living God has

  979. given me for the

  980. welfare of my

  981. family.

  982. That's abdication.

  983. And that will

  984. embitter your

  985. children too.

  986. When you check

  987. out.

  988. I have a

  989. picture.

  990. It's not an

  991. original.

  992. But a print of a

  993. Norman Rockwell

  994. painting.

  995. That's called

  996. Sunday Morning.

  997. And in the

  998. middle of the

  999. living room is a

  1000. dad wearing a

  1001. red bathrobe

  1002. reading the

  1003. sports page

  1004. shrunk in his

  1005. chair as his

  1006. wife and

  1007. children leave

  1008. prim and proper

  1009. for church.

  1010. It's a picture

  1011. of abdication.

  1012. It's a

  1013. mistake.

  1014. We are not to

  1015. be authoritarianism.

  1016. We're not to

  1017. make the mistake

  1018. of abdicationism.

  1019. We are to be

  1020. ambassadors of

  1021. Jesus Christ in

  1022. our homes,

  1023. brother.

  1024. That's what

  1025. you're being

  1026. called to.

  1027. And we're

  1028. given a reason

  1029. why.

  1030. lest they be

  1031. discouraged.

  1032. Do you know

  1033. what a failure

  1034. of leadership

  1035. does?

  1036. It deflates

  1037. people.

  1038. It discourages

  1039. people.

  1040. It leaves

  1041. people wanting.

  1042. What happens

  1043. with an

  1044. authoritarianism is

  1045. often children

  1046. like, I want to

  1047. get out of this

  1048. house and I want

  1049. to stay out of

  1050. this house.

  1051. it's a mistake.

  1052. There's a

  1053. better way.

  1054. Brother, you

  1055. know what you

  1056. need?

  1057. You need Jesus.

  1058. You need to

  1059. treasure him

  1060. above all else.

  1061. You need to

  1062. rest in him and

  1063. the grace that he

  1064. has for you

  1065. today.

  1066. You've got a new

  1067. identity.

  1068. You've got a new

  1069. aim.

  1070. You're on a new

  1071. time frame.

  1072. You've got a new

  1073. wardrobe.

  1074. You've got a new

  1075. aim.

  1076. Christ above.

  1077. And we bring

  1078. that into our

  1079. homes.

  1080. There's this

  1081. quote, J.C.

  1082. Ryle.

  1083. It says, hey,

  1084. how do you heat

  1085. a church?

  1086. You put a

  1087. furnace in the

  1088. pulpit.

  1089. How do you heat

  1090. a Christian home?

  1091. Put a Christ

  1092. centered brother in

  1093. the middle of it.

  1094. I need to tell

  1095. you something,

  1096. brother.

  1097. You are a

  1098. target.

  1099. The devil

  1100. knows that

  1101. you leading in

  1102. your home is

  1103. going to advance

  1104. the kingdom of

  1105. God.

  1106. And he will do

  1107. everything he can

  1108. to discourage

  1109. you, to

  1110. distract you, to

  1111. disqualify you.

  1112. these are the

  1113. stakes.

  1114. Don't give him

  1115. opportunity,

  1116. brother.

  1117. Step into this

  1118. good responsibility

  1119. that God has

  1120. given you.

  1121. Do you have any

  1122. hidden sin in

  1123. your life that's

  1124. keeping you from

  1125. leading in a way

  1126. that you know

  1127. pleases Jesus?

  1128. Confess it.

  1129. Repent of it.

  1130. Have you been

  1131. exercising your

  1132. leadership in an

  1133. authoritarian manner?

  1134. Confess it.

  1135. Repent of it.

  1136. Have you been

  1137. abdicating?

  1138. Confess it.

  1139. Repent of it.

  1140. If you need to

  1141. tell your wife

  1142. and children,

  1143. do with it.

  1144. But don't let

  1145. these words fall

  1146. to the ground.

  1147. This is for

  1148. Christ.

  1149. What God

  1150. requires of you,

  1151. Christian father,

  1152. is not to be

  1153. an authoritarian,

  1154. not to be an

  1155. abdicator,

  1156. but to be an

  1157. ambassador for

  1158. Jesus Christ in

  1159. your home.

  1160. Now, there's a

  1161. series of

  1162. what ifs,

  1163. right?

  1164. But what if

  1165. point four?

  1166. The first one that

  1167. comes to mind is if

  1168. you're a single

  1169. mom.

  1170. But what if I'm a

  1171. single mom?

  1172. Sister, have you

  1173. heard of a

  1174. battlefield promotion?

  1175. Here's what

  1176. happens.

  1177. On a battlefield,

  1178. leadership gets

  1179. decimated, and

  1180. there's a vacuum of

  1181. leadership.

  1182. And you know what

  1183. happens?

  1184. Someone who may not

  1185. be the most

  1186. qualified is

  1187. necessarily put in

  1188. place because they

  1189. need to lead.

  1190. Sister, we are,

  1191. I wish we were

  1192. living, I don't.

  1193. wouldn't it be

  1194. great if we were

  1195. living in a sinless

  1196. world?

  1197. If we were living in

  1198. a sinless world, you

  1199. would not be a

  1200. single mom.

  1201. But we live in a

  1202. sin-riddled world.

  1203. So, sister, guess

  1204. what?

  1205. You're promoted to

  1206. leadership of your

  1207. home.

  1208. You are the one,

  1209. sister, to create

  1210. a greenhouse of a

  1211. Christ-rich environment,

  1212. the peace of Christ

  1213. in the word of

  1214. Christ, in the name

  1215. of Christ, permeating

  1216. your environment of

  1217. your home.

  1218. That's yours.

  1219. God has grace for

  1220. you.

  1221. Single mom, do you

  1222. know that God's grace

  1223. is bigger than your

  1224. circumstances?

  1225. He's bigger, way

  1226. bigger.

  1227. His grace is

  1228. sufficient.

  1229. And do you know

  1230. what?

  1231. Do you know

  1232. Timothy?

  1233. His mom, it's

  1234. likely a single mom,

  1235. at least his dad was

  1236. not a believer, and

  1237. Timothy's mom raised

  1238. him in a way that

  1239. pleased the Lord.

  1240. You can do that with

  1241. God's help.

  1242. But what if I'm a

  1243. single mom?

  1244. Sister, if you're a

  1245. single mom, God has

  1246. grace for you.

  1247. Enlist the help of

  1248. brothers in the church,

  1249. brothers in the church,

  1250. godly men, step into

  1251. your children's life as

  1252. well.

  1253. We'll do this together.

  1254. But what if my kids

  1255. aren't Christians?

  1256. Well, brother, sister, you

  1257. still are trying to create a

  1258. greenhouse of grace.

  1259. It doesn't change that.

  1260. Don't get distracted.

  1261. Preach the gospel.

  1262. Pick your battles.

  1263. But continue on allowing

  1264. the peace of Christ and the

  1265. word of Christ and the name

  1266. of Christ to be permeating

  1267. your home.

  1268. Find other brothers and

  1269. sisters in your life that can

  1270. encourage you because that's

  1271. hard.

  1272. Love them long.

  1273. Maybe you're a child in the

  1274. room and you're like, but

  1275. what if my parents aren't

  1276. Christians?

  1277. Or what if my parents

  1278. embittered me?

  1279. They've sinned against me.

  1280. Well, God calls you to honor

  1281. your parents.

  1282. No matter what they're like,

  1283. find ways to honor them, to

  1284. obey them, to make it easy

  1285. for them.

  1286. You're going to have to

  1287. forgive them if they've sinned

  1288. against you.

  1289. Because that's the way of

  1290. Jesus.

  1291. But what if I am a blended

  1292. family?

  1293. God has grace for you.

  1294. You and your wife, you

  1295. might have children from

  1296. different past relationships,

  1297. but that doesn't stop you

  1298. from creating a greenhouse

  1299. where the peace of Christ is

  1300. ruling your hearts and the

  1301. word of Christ is saturating

  1302. and the name of Christ is

  1303. being exalted.

  1304. God has a lot of

  1305. things.

  1306. But it's this last question.

  1307. But what if I've blown it?

  1308. What if I've blown it with my

  1309. kids?

  1310. What if I've sinned against

  1311. them and they resent me for

  1312. it?

  1313. What do I do now?

  1314. You throw yourself on the

  1315. mercy of Jesus.

  1316. You know what that points to?

  1317. You still need Jesus.

  1318. So you confess your sin to

  1319. him and as opportunity

  1320. affords, you own it with

  1321. your children.

  1322. Ask them to forgive you.

  1323. But realize this.

  1324. If you have grieved your

  1325. children to such an extent,

  1326. it may require time before

  1327. you're reconciled with them.

  1328. You might suffer the

  1329. consequences of past

  1330. mistakes.

  1331. So you wait on the Lord.

  1332. You pray regularly to him.

  1333. You ask him for help and

  1334. ask him to change you and

  1335. change your children,

  1336. trusting that one day he

  1337. will bring about what you so

  1338. long for.

  1339. And children,

  1340. what if you've blown it?

  1341. What if you know you've

  1342. disobeyed your mom and dad?

  1343. What if you know right now

  1344. you're hiding something from

  1345. them?

  1346. Well, you need a savior too.

  1347. You own it.

  1348. You confess it.

  1349. You ask God to forgive you

  1350. and make right with your

  1351. parents to rebuild trust.

  1352. It'll take time, but it's so

  1353. worth it.

  1354. And when you have people who

  1355. recognize that they're sinners

  1356. in need for God's grace,

  1357. get what you got.

  1358. You got a greenhouse

  1359. where the peace of Christ and

  1360. the word of Christ and the

  1361. name of Christ can be

  1362. exalted.

  1363. A greenhouse has a specific

  1364. purpose to grow plants,

  1365. to be sent out and

  1366. replanted elsewhere.

  1367. The Christian family is God's

  1368. Christ-rich greenhouse to grow

  1369. God's grace.

  1370. And parents.

  1371. And parents.

  1372. Vision,

  1373. Christ's central family.

  1374. Children,

  1375. obey.

  1376. Dads,

  1377. lead.

  1378. And for the but-what-ifs,

  1379. grace abounds for us all.

  1380. Do I have an amen?

  1381. Amen.

  1382. In order for our homes to be

  1383. Christ-rich greenhouses,

  1384. Christ must be the controlling

  1385. center of our lives.

  1386. Let's pray together.

  1387. Lord Jesus, we need you.

  1388. We sin against our children,

  1389. and our children sin against us,

  1390. but your grace is greater.

  1391. Father, would you pour out your

  1392. spirit upon the parents and

  1393. children of our church,

  1394. that there would be this work

  1395. that you continue in which,

  1396. Lord Jesus, your name is

  1397. magnified in our homes,

  1398. that you're the controlling

  1399. center,

  1400. and we are delighted in that.

  1401. Have your way, Lord.

  1402. In Jesus' name we pray.

  1403. Amen.