Kingdom Perspectives in Proverbs: Words

Good morning, everyone.

Mike is continuing our study of Proverbs today,

so I'm going to read some of those for you.

You can follow along in your bulletins.

You have a little handout.

In honor of God's word, will you please stand?

In Proverbs it says,

The tongue has the power of life and death,

and those who love it will eat its fruit.

The words of the reckless pierce like swords,

but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint,

and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.

A person finds joy in giving an apt reply,

and how good is a timely word.

The soothing tongue is a tree of life,

but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.

A gossip betrays a confidence,

so avoid anyone who talks too much.

A gossip betrays a confidence,

but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.

Anxiety weighs down the heart,

but a kind word cheers it up.

Gracious words are a honeycomb,

sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.

Plans are established by seeking advice,

so if you wage war, obtain guidance.

In Matthew 12, 34-35 it says,

For whatever is in your heart determines what you say.

A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart,

and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.

And in John 1, 1 and 14,

we're reminded of this.

In the beginning was the Word,

and the Word was with God,

and the Word was God.

The Word became flesh,

and made His dwelling among us.

We have seen His glory,

the glory of the one and only Son,

who came from the Father,

full of grace and truth.

This is the reading of God's Word.

Good morning, Watermark.

Glad you all made it this morning.

It's pretty nice out there.

At least it was when I got out of the house.

Yeah, so it's kind of like beach weather today,

so it's great that you made it to church instead.

Well, our teaching pastor, Tobin, is currently traveling.

He'll be back in about two weeks.

So my name is Mike,

and I'm working with a college student,

so I'm filling in for him.

And next week, we'll have Eric come up and speak

and share about youth and family a little bit

and what we find in the Proverbs about that.

We also have a big group of teachers here with us,

so if you haven't been here last week and you met them,

then maybe you have a chance this week.

They're here with the English Language Institute

sharing just their lives

with some of the middle school students here in Hong Kong

for the next few weeks and teaching.

So we're really thankful for you guys being here

and serving with us

and just serving alongside the church.

At the beginning of the message,

I just wanted to share a little story

that happened this past week.

As Jeremy mentioned,

we have been talking about the sermon series

for a while with the staff.

And so after the last conversation I had with the staff,

I got this WhatsApp message

from one of our staff members,

and she was standing in line in the bank.

And so right in front of her was this elderly lady,

and the lady had two grandkids with her,

and suddenly the elderly lady turned to another stranger in line

and said,

Oh, look at my grandkids.

They are stupid like empty rice bowls.

Totally useless.

When I hear that kind of stories,

I always wonder,

what is happening in these kids,

in these little souls?

Words are really powerful.

Proverbs 18.21 actually says,

Death and life are in the power of words.

Words can give us life,

and they can tear us down.

They can hurt us,

and they can build us up

or bring healing.

When you think about your own life,

maybe you have experiences

where words have had an impact on you,

and you may recall some of these moments

where there are certain words

that just stick with you.

Maybe it's something your parents said,

maybe just a one-time thing

or over and over again,

and these words just stick with you

and make you feel useless

or like a failure.

Or maybe just some recent words

in your family,

like maybe with your spouse,

and you just recall

like an argument,

and you just feel the emotion again rising up

about the words that have been said.

Maybe it's just like the disrespectful

or downgrading words of a boss

that really just hit you

and make you not even want to go to work

or the gossip of a friend

that has something that they said about you back.

Or it's even words that you said yourself,

and now that you think about certain words,

you just regret it,

and you wish you just wouldn't have said it.

Sometimes I'm just surprised,

like in that story in the bank,

how people use words.

There was another similar story,

like a few years ago,

I lived in Calhoun City,

and I had this elderly retired couple as neighbors,

and about once a week,

in the middle of the night,

she would start yelling at him

at the top of her lungs,

and sometimes like an hour long.

And when I had Cantonese speaking friends over,

like they would always listen to it,

and then they giggle,

and then they would translate,

and say, oh yeah, she said that.

Why have I ever gotten married to you,

and you are so useless,

and a lot of things I don't even want to repeat here.

But she went on and on,

and I didn't even know like how many ways

you can say that I don't even want to be married to you

over and over again.

So I'm just startled how words are used.

And there are certain ways

of how words are used in Hong Kong

differently to where I come from.

So some of these encounters,

I might not understand so well.

It's just foreign to me

and how people talk,

maybe in Chinese culture

or German-American culture.

Some parents may say,

oh, you know,

that's the way of how I show love.

It's the way of how I want to motivate my kids

to do better.

I don't want them to be too prideful.

So I was thinking about this book

called The Five Love Languages.

Some of you may have heard of that,

and it's written by an American author

for an American audience,

so I don't know how much it applies

to worldwide culture,

but it's basically talking about

five different ways

of how people show that they care and love.

And one of these five love languages

is called the words of affirmation,

so words that are uplifting and encouraging.

And so I hear these stories,

and I wonder whether,

in a different setting,

you may have to have words of humiliation

that show that you really love and care.

But every culture,

even sometimes in a family culture,

you have this specific culture

with a set of values and principles

that you apply,

and it's a certain way of how you speak

and how you use words.

I have my own experiences

about how words have been used in my family.

I never really could recall a memory

where my dad ever got loud.

He never raised his voice.

He never really got angry.

I was always pretty calm at home,

and that's probably why I have a hard time

relating to some of the stories.

But what I'm describing

is not like the perfect happy family.

Even so, the words were not loud.

There were a lot of very hurtful words

that were said as well.

One of the moments that I remember pretty well

was the day of my high school graduation.

And so that day,

I was called up on stage,

and I was awarded

as the second best student to graduate.

And so when I got back home,

my dad said,

you could have been first

if you would have worked harder.

And I think a lot of people here

can probably relate to that

in the setting.

I think the Prussian system

of how my father raised his family

was similar to how some Asian families

are raised as well.

And I've struggled for quite a while

in my life with that feeling

of maybe not really being good enough

and being a failure.

I don't really remember uplifting words

in my family,

words that my dad would say

that he's proud of me

or that he believes in who I am

and what I do.

And words have power.

Once you release words,

they have kind of like this

power on their own

that they develop.

You cannot take them back.

And in that life on their own

that they have,

and it's kind of planted

in the souls of other people,

they begin to tear down

or build a person up.

But as I said,

it's different cultures

have different values.

And currently,

we are in this journey

of looking at Proverbs.

We are looking at

the kingdom perspective

in the Proverbs.

And we have looked at wealth

and different topics

and how a kingdom perspective

looks like.

And today,

we are looking at

what does a kingdom perspective

look like

in the topic of words.

So what do I mean

by a kingdom perspective?

If you have been here

for the last two weeks,

you probably know

a little bit more.

But let me just repeat that again.

So we are trying to look at

not what words

are supposed to be used

and how words

are supposed to be used

from a German or Chinese

or American perspective,

but what does

the kingdom of God say?

What does God's culture say

about the use of words?

Are there certain values

that we can apply

from how God thinks about that?

And so we use an illustration

that hopefully

you can get up here again.

It's that rug

that we have been looking at.

Okay, we'll get that in a while.

So we have this picture

up there with a rug.

And so when you look

at a rug from the back,

you basically see

that there are like

these like knots

and colors

that are a little like

merged together.

And you can't really see

fully the picture

that's on the other side.

And that's kind of like

how we look at life.

Some of the things

don't make sense.

We don't really see

the perspective

that God has.

God looks at life

and being all-knowing

and understanding the world

from his perspective.

He can see the beautiful picture

of even how words

should be spoken.

But our culture is broken.

We live in a broken world

and words we use

sometimes don't come out.

Like some of us,

you know,

you see the two different pictures.

So we are a little bit more

like the picture on the right.

And some of us may say,

I'm a really good communicator.

Tobin actually said

the same thing.

I always think

I'm a really good communicator

until my wife tells me

I'm not.

And that's, I think,

how it is

with so many words we use.

We think we say

something very clearly,

but so many things

kind of like get lost

in translation

of just from us

to the other person.

So we're realizing

that a lot of words

that we use,

they just don't come across

the way we want.

So we want to see

what can we learn

to see more clearly

how we communicate

and what are words

and how are words spoken

in light of what God,

you know,

how God sees words.

It's kind of funny to me

to use a sermon,

a lot of words,

to talk about

the biblical perspective

on words

because one of the things

that the Proverbs

and throughout the Bible

is being said that

don't use too many words.

Be wise with the way

you use words

because the more words

you say,

the more danger is there

that the words you say

may be miscommunicating

and hurting

and, yeah,

just bringing more hurt.

So in Proverbs 12, 18,

it actually says,

there are those

who chatter on

like a stabbing sword.

And I'll take a few chunks

first out of

some of the Proverbs

that kind of look at

more at the negative elements

of how words are used

and we look at the other parts

a little bit later.

But so here it says,

those who chatter on,

there are those

who chatter on

like a stabbing sword.

Now if you,

like me,

are a very kind of

social person,

you like being around people

and, yeah,

you just find it life-giving

to, you know,

sit down

and have a long conversation,

then you may struggle

with this a little bit.

And maybe you can relate

to the experience

of sitting somewhere

and starting to talk

and then you talk

and talk

and after a while

you say,

oh,

you shouldn't have said that.

Maybe,

maybe I said too much here.

I think that's a really

good question

that you can ask yourself

whether this is something

that you struggle with.

I sometimes ask myself,

where do I go

when I have

a negative experience?

So when I'm upset

or worried,

what do I do with that?

It's kind of like,

oh, you know,

something happens to you

and you get really worried

and really upset

and someone walks by

and says,

oh, hey,

seriously,

I need to tell you

something that just happened.

Or you get on your phone

and maybe the first thing

you do when you're really worried

and upset is,

I need to call my mom

or I need to call my best friend

and it's really vent

about what just happened

with my boss

or with my friends.

Or maybe you are

in the more modern generation

and you get on Facebook

and you change your status

to,

I'm so upset,

just don't ask me

what just happened.

You just want to,

you know,

the emotions just kind of

like take over

and you just want to talk about it

and you just want to let it out

and suddenly these words

become,

you know,

chattering

and then they can become

stabbing swords

because in our anger

and that first hint of emotion

that is still there,

we just start talking about things

that we shouldn't talk about

and the heatedness of the moment

kind of like takes over.

Proverbs 17.27 says,

the one who has knowledge

uses words with restraint.

I can sometimes heart

to not let our response

be driven by our feelings.

Maybe we just need to learn

to kind of like take a deep breath

and then we just need to learn

that the first person

we probably should go to

is God.

I find that really hard

because the tangible situation

of, you know,

talking to my wife

or talking to a friend

is so much more real

to digest everything

but really just taking a breath

and taking these emotions to God

and let him take that first edge off.

I think there's a lot of wisdom in that

and so I think it's a good indicator

to ask ourselves,

is that what we do?

But you may say,

actually,

I don't really struggle

with that so much.

I'm always pretty calm

and when I get angry,

I'm kind of getting quiet.

I'm not really so confrontational

so I just, you know,

don't do that.

It doesn't apply to me.

So here's another proverb.

How good is a timely word?

In my life,

I have learned to avoid words.

So I mentioned how I grew up

in a house

with very little fighting.

One of the reasons was

because my dad was

the boss of the house.

He was the authority

and if he would say something,

that would be

nothing to argue about.

There would be no argument

or disagreements with that.

So my only response

to whenever there was

something going on

was to be quiet,

to walk away.

But words need to come

at one point

because the hurt is there

and some healing

needs to happen

in one way or the other.

So if you turn around 1523,

it would also say,

how bad

if a timely word

does not come?

So out of my upbringing,

I didn't learn

a healthy way

of talking about hurt

so it took me

quite a while

to really relearn that

later on in life,

not to avoid

all conflict

and to walk away

and just to give people

a silence treatment.

So when you think

about relationships

in your life,

maybe relationships

with your parents

or with your siblings,

with your spouse,

maybe relationships

in your workplace

or in close friendships,

where do you see yourself more?

like, is it more

that there are relationships

in which you just

see yourself more

on the side

of like digesting

more words

and chattering

and letting out

the emotions

or do you find more,

I have a hard time

even saying words.

Now, let's kind of like

address and explore

a little bit more

of these proverbs.

In 15.4,

it says,

a deceitful tongue

crushes the spirit.

It's a different element.

Have you met people

that are very good

with words?

Like, they can take

your words

and actually twist them

around and you walk away

and, ah,

I didn't even want

to say that,

but they took it that way

or that are really good

at manipulating

through their words

or even lie

and deceive

through the words

they say.

when I was reading

this proverb,

I had to think

of one of my colleagues.

It's 15 years ago,

but it's so interesting

how it sticks with me

that there was this one person

that I worked with

in the bank

and every time

we started talking,

suddenly the conversation

shifted to that one person

that was not in the room

and then we would be

on a coffee break

or a lunch table

and people would start talking

and suddenly again,

you know,

you would just talk

about the flaws

of whoever was not there

and I was 20 years old

when I started working there

and at that time,

it kind of seemed

like a revelation

when I first thought,

what happens

when I'm not in the room?

You know,

there are these reasons

that we have

for saying words

and now I look back

and I really wondered,

what was she so insecure about?

Like,

what did she,

why did she need that?

Was she unhappy

with herself

and with her life

and what are the words

that she may have needed

in her life

to be spoken to her

to not feel like

she has to push everyone down

and so even when

I find myself

using words

that are crushing

to others,

I kind of wonder,

like,

what's up in my heart?

What's going on

in my life

that I need to work on?

So we continue

in that kind of proverb.

There's a proverb

in 2019

that says,

a gossip betrays

a confidence,

so avoid anyone

who talks too much.

I actually believe

that one of the greatest

challenges in church today

is that we don't

really have safe places.

It's actually a problem

that we have

all in the world,

but when we come

to church,

we think of it,

oh,

this should be

a safe place,

but just thinking

about the relationships

in church

or, you know,

in your community groups,

maybe in your own family,

you may wonder,

is it really that safe

for me to really

be who I am?

You think of the

divorce rate

and you wonder,

should I even tell

my spouse everything

because maybe one thing

that breaks apart

and then,

oh,

she has all the power

of knowing everything

about me.

This all reminds me

of that story

in the first chapters

of the Bible.

Right in the beginning,

after God creates humankind,

it says,

and they were all naked

and felt no shame.

And I think

what it really talks about

is that people

were stripped naked

in their soul

and standing in front

of God

and God,

who is all-knowing

and who knows

everything already,

he's right there

and there was

no embarrassment,

no place

for feeling,

you know,

just shame

or embarrassment.

We can be safe

in his presence,

but the story

goes on.

And then Adam

and Eve,

that relationship

with God

and them

breaks apart.

And now the next

thing that happens,

because their trust

is broken,

they suddenly hide

behind that bush

and they cover

all their shame

and they are

in hiding.

And even today

we are in hiding.

There are barely

any people

that say,

I can just be

stripped naked

in my soul

and just let people

know everything

about me.

Instead,

we wear a mask

and we try to

protect ourselves

and make sure

that we cannot

be humiliated

and embarrassed

by others.

So we keep hiding.

And as I said,

I have seen that

in church as well,

that people

entrust themselves

to others,

maybe even

to the pastor,

and then their

souls are crushed

and their confidence

is broken.

The Bible calls us

to be one body.

And when one part

of the body

is hurting,

then all is hurting.

So it talks about

how maybe

you're bleeding

in your marriage,

in your relationships.

Maybe you're just

suffering in your

financial situation.

You struggle

with secret sins

and the body

should be there

and bring healing

and bring restoration

to the whole body

and embrace the people

and lift them up

out of their hurting.

At Watermark,

we desire that.

We desire community

and the inward focus

and community

is such an essential

element of what

we want to stand for.

And we hope that

the community groups

that you join,

that there would be

a place where you

find that kind of safety.

Where people around you

have the love of Christ

and surround you

with the love of Christ,

where you can be real

and be safe.

But where we fall

short of that,

it's because we are

fallen people.

And so I just want

to say sorry

if you have walked

through church experiences,

whether here

or anywhere else,

and you have gotten hurt

and you have gotten

disappointed.

I just encourage you

to take a step forward

in just allowing

a place of safety

to be built

in your life again.

And if you have been hurt

in your friendships

and your relationships,

I just pray that you

would find the strength

again to move forward

and finding community

in the way that God

designs it for

and desires it for us.

Proverbs 12.25,

and this is the last one

that I want to use

in that first part

of the message,

is that 12.25 says,

that anxiety makes

the heart of a person

depressed,

depressed,

but a kind word

cheers it up.

And so anxiety

and fear and depression,

when you hear these words,

they all mean something

very different

to all of us here.

Some may not relate

to it so much,

but for some,

it may be very,

very close to home.

Like for me,

I think when I read

through that proverb,

it connects

with a lot of things

because I've been

ministering to students

for the last seven years

here in the city

and it seems like

a reoccurring theme

that people worry about

and deal with.

For most of my life,

I've been a pretty

positive person.

I've not really been

too anxious.

I thought I can deal

with most things

and depression

was something

that I couldn't

really relate to either.

But several years ago,

there was a time

where God allowed me

to walk through

a season of my life

where I started

to connect

with many of the things.

I realized that

I have put myself

in an environment

where it was not

very healthy.

I had moved

to a different place.

I didn't really know

a lot of people.

People didn't know me

so well.

So I started to be

in a place

where I just started

working and living life

but not being known.

I worked under a boss

that was very manipulative.

When we had a disagreement

and started discussing

these disagreements,

I realized that

every place

that I went to

trying to find

some help

with the personnel department

and the leadership,

they were all

very close friends

to him.

and I realized

that in that

whole situation,

I was very alone.

So anxiety

built up in me

and when I went

to work,

I would get really nervous

just being on the bus

to work

and wondering

what will happen today

and I was afraid

of losing the job

and the relationships

that had built

over the years

and so over weeks,

depression built up in me.

And so as I was

walking through that,

I realized

I don't really have

a lot of people

that know me.

I don't really have

people that can

tell me words

that speak into

my situation

because people

don't know my situation.

I didn't have

people in my life

that would speak

the truth that

there's nothing

to worry.

It's okay to step

out of the situation.

It's actually okay

because God has,

you know,

still so many things

that he will do

in your life.

There's nothing

to fear about

because you are

safe in God

and your identity

is not shaken

by losing any of this.

So I've learned

that it is important

to include people

in my life

that can speak

into these times

in my life

and who know me

and they don't act

based on kind of

like their own

insecurities

and agendas

but they act

because they have

a clear vision,

a God vision

on the situation

I'm in.

So they can point me

on a kingdom perspective

in the words they use.

So at this stage

we have looked at

a couple of proverbs.

We've examined

how they can be hurtful

and tearing people down.

We have looked at

what it means

to actually use

wise words

and timely words

and we looked at

how we need to be cautious

in who we allow

to speak words

and in what time

into our lives

and the people

that speak these words

need to know us

really.

Before we kind of

go a little bit more

into looking

into the kingdom

perspective

and what these

positive words are

and what this

God culture is about

I actually want to

invite Jason

and Natalie

and Jason Jr.

up on stage

and they'll be sharing

with us for a few minutes

just on their life journey

how words have influenced

their life

the positive

and negative words

and how they

as a young family

with the little guy

how they discern

how they want to use words.

Well hello watermark

my name is Natalie Mann

my name is Jason Mann

and this is Jason Jr.

He gets a little stage fright

now and again.

Well today

as Mike said

words are powerful.

I grew up in a girl's home

I grew up in a boy's home

so what this meant

was I was taught

to suppress my words

my parents didn't

allow me to articulate

any negative emotion

with my words

so I figured out

at a very young age

that I had to walk around

with a lot of heaviness

so I couldn't experience

full joy

without expressing myself

with words

so I was often

a very sad girl.

I would say in my house

there were several boys

and whether it was around

food or air time

in the family

you kind of had to fight

for that a little bit.

It wasn't

I wouldn't say it was toxic

but there was just

that element of

a kind of competitive environment

and you needed to articulate

your needs out loud

so words were

a key part of self expression.

So I'm a trained

family counselor

and I found out

very quickly

in working with families

and with kids

that there isn't a family

out there

that is not dysfunctional

that doesn't have

a problem

with using words

so I figured out

that quickly

at a very young age

four or five

and in raising

this little guy

right now

I could say that

Jason and I

have even experienced

with getting into

some heated discussions

around him

that he's actually

affected by it.

Yeah

actually

to be very candid

I remember

our first fight

after we brought him

home from the hospital

he was about

four days old

and I don't even remember

what we were fighting about

but we just went on a walk

it was great

I was thinking

this is awesome

and then

family moment

yeah

and then something

happened

and he started

breathing kind of

in a noisy way

and I was convinced

we had given him

asthma by stressing

him out

but it turns out

he just had a little

gunk in his throat

and he's fine

but it was kind of

scary that first

realization when he said

wait a second

there's this little

person

they kind of like

live in our home

which as you can

imagine is small

being here in Hong Kong

and they just kind of

like passively

you know

take up all that energy

even if they can't

understand all the words

and

why don't I share

briefly about

myself as a

now as a husband

and dad

I would say

coming out of my childhood

again there was this

this kind of

self-expression mode

so my view of words

was I need to use them

to make sure

my knees are heard

right

so Natalie needs to

hear them

if it's

if she's not hearing it

then I probably need

to speak louder

and get more intense

and all the women

especially are laughing

so that's not

effective obviously

and I think the

biggest lesson

that I try and

remind myself

is around

just using words

with wisdom

in other words

not just knee-jerk

reaction

what am I feeling

that therefore

needs to be blurted

out as some kind

of distorted

honesty

quote-unquote

but using words

as a tool

to say

what is the goal

here

as a key member

of this family

what can I say

or not say

that helps our

family get to

a better place

and of course

when that is

consistently happening

my needs

have a way

of getting met

in the process

but yeah

why don't I leave it

to them

so just to wrap up

I feel like

I've experienced

freedom

with using words

in my relationship

with Christ

and going to God's word

and so that's how

I found freedom

growing into adulthood

and in my own marriage

and in becoming

a new mother

so we definitely

have a ton of work

to do

don't we honey

yes

we do not

have it all together

but we're working

hard on it

and I'd say

we go to God's word

to find our wisdom

in using words

and so I want

to encourage you guys

to come on this

journey with us

and figure out

how to use words

wisely

and figure that out

with the Lord

so thank you so much

can I share a couple

quick things

so number one

you can come find us

later and we'll tell you

more ugly stories

but number two

is I just thought

of two quick things

that have been helpful

for me

so growing up

part of the reason

you had to articulate

your needs quickly

was because

if things did get

too heated

then mom and dad

would shut it down

and they'd say

we'll talk about this later

but we never talked

about it later

so you kind of had

to like get things

out at the moment

I think I've found

in our family

it's sometimes helpful

to not shove

something under the rug

but also not just

share whatever

is coming out

in the heat of the motion

in the moment

so it's kind of

this middle ground

where you say

okay there's something here

we need to address this

but we're a little bit

charged right now

let's just take a breather

and we'll be more

constructive later

the other thing is

I have two guys

in my life now

who ask me regularly

how are you doing

with this

are you staying calm

are you being

a good dad and husband

so it's helpful

to be part of a team

in that process

absolutely

thank you so much

you guys

have a blessed week

applause

thank you guys

I don't really know

I don't really know

what your story is like

I don't know whether

you relate to

much of what's happening

but Natalie said

that there is

no family

that's not dysfunctional

so there may be

something that you can

learn

even if it's

not like a

childhood trauma

that you're carrying

with you

if in your story

there are certain things

that you carry around

and you have seen

that words

have had an impact

on you

and how you live

your life today

and it's like

that backpack

that you're carrying

around

maybe something

where you are

or words have

kind of like

crushed your soul

in some part

and you really

wonder like

how healing

comes for that

and how you can

step out of that

again

or maybe there are

words that you said

that you do regret

and that really

weigh on you

because they

burden a relationship

and burden the way

that you live

and I just want

to let you know

that after the service

we will have

our prayer team

up here

we'll also have

the staff team

around

and also in the

back of the church

we just really

encourage you

to just take

the opportunity

to have people

speak some

encouraging words

in your life

to be able

to get the words

out of your heart

that you've been

stuffing down

encourage you

to just let people

pray for you

just really get

on a journey

of healing

these things

that are

just in your life

so we want to

now spend

just a little bit

more time

and just looking

a little bit

on God's way

of how does he

help us to

see how words

should be used

and so I want to

just first go back

at the proverbs

that we already

looked at

but look at

the other elements

so in 1113

for example

it's a gossip

betrays confidence

but this one

about gossip

says but a

trustworthy person

keeps a secret

so trust is

the positive value

here

so where the

safe place

that we talked

about is provided

when people are

dependable

and faithful

so it's like

that story

in Genesis

when we just

recall the story

of being

in the presence

of God

and Adam and Eve

struggling with

feeling safe

where Adam and Eve

hide and they

cover their shame

a little later

in that story

actually God

tells them that

they can't go out

like this

and he actually

makes a garment

of skin for them

he knows that

the world that

they're going out

there is a cruel

place

and that it

can crush

their soul

and so God

protects them

and gives them

that garment

of skin

and I think

that if you

just think of

your life

wondering whether

you have like

that one person

that gives you

that safety

and strength

that you need

to walk

through life

the one person

that you know

that will be

dependable

and keep the

secret

and that will

be trustworthy

that will walk

you through

a place

without embarrassment

and shame

I think that

one person

can be like

that oasis

in a desert

walking through

life nowadays

just having

that one person

where we strip

our soul naked

and be real

Proverbs 12

18 actually

also has a second

part

there are those

who chatter on

like a stabbing

sword but a

wise tongue

heals

so it's not only

that words

can hurt

and they can

be like swords

but used in

the right moment

so words used

in wisdom

they can heal

so healing

can come

through words

Proverbs 15

4 in the same

context says

the soothing

tongue is a

tree of life

but a harsh

tongue crushes

the spirit

so again

words can be

crushing

but when they're

spoken in

comfort and

gentleness and

peace

words can lift

a soul up

and they can

bring an

encouragement

one of my

favorite authors

is Donald Miller

some of you

may know him

and he has

this book

called Father

Fiction

and he tells

that story

of how he

grew up

in a very

dysfunctional

home

his father

actually walked

out of the

family pretty

early

and so he's

been struggling

with guilt

and feeling

responsible for

that and

feeling like a

failure

and so he

looks at his

life and he

always feels

that there's

nobody that

there's no

reason why I'm

really here

there's no

really meaning

of my life

whether I

would be here

or not

doesn't really

matter at

all

but in his

journey he

starts to

meet other

people other

guys in his

life they

begin to

mentor him

and they

speak the

truth just

who God

is in

his life

and that

he is

loved by

God and

that God

desires healing

for him

and so

suddenly he

realizes that

history would

not be the

same without

him

and I just

wonder how I

feel about that

sometimes whether

the world would

be not even

noticing whether

I'm here or

not whether you

think of my

existence whether

I'm here or

not I don't

think it really

matters or

whether you

would think the

history of the

world is not

the same

because I'm

here that God

has a plan for

you that he

has a purpose

for you being

here and that

he wants you to

be that tree of

life to other

people around

you and and

bringing renewal

and reconciliation

to the world and

so Donald Miller

as he starts to

go through the

process of

realizing that

that he has

meaning in his

life and that

God has a

purpose for him

and he is going

through his own

healing he then

begins this

ministry or

project that he

starts it's called

the mentorship

project and it's

inspired by his

own experience

the mentorship

project is a

place where he

has the vision

of wanting for

now to raise

10,000 mentors

10,000 adults

that will be the

father fathers to

the fatherless

basically men that

would step into

the life of youth

that are troubled

that don't have

fathers that speak

into their lives

life-giving words

and they are

trained to be the

trees that give

life to the to

the young people

and I look at

this story and I

wonder how much

does his life

matter and how

much impact does

his life bring to

the fatherless

so I wonder like

how we feel about

that do we see

that we can be

people that bring

our life to other

people the same

kind of teaching is

found in the

proverbs 1624

gracious words are

a honeycomb sweet

to the soul and

healing to the

bones so these

words spoken in

graciousness and

gentleness how they

can lift up and

encourage it's just

all over the place

but when I look at

the proverbs it's

not just about this

like nice honey

coated speech I

could it may feel

like oh you know

we just have to

smile all the time

and and be happy

if you look at

proverbs 24 26 you

actually see an

honest answer is

like a kiss on

the lips so

suddenly you see

yeah it's about

graciousness and

gentleness but

there needs to be

truth it doesn't

help if you just

honey coated and

and nice and

smile at people so

the question is do

we have truth

tellers in our

lives do we have

people that really

know what's

what's happening

in our lives that

will say you know

you messed up and

you need to change

proverbs 20 18

plans are established

by seeking advice so

if you wage war

obtain guidance

now look at that

and using that

picture of the

proverbs if you

are in the danger

of losing a

battle like maybe

you're wrestling

with a job

situation family

situation and and

in the middle of

of advice that you

are seeking you

are asking a

person that doesn't

tell you the truth

he just wants to be

your friend like I

have had friends in

my life that were

just always telling

me yeah you are

right you know you're

always right you do

good but there was

no truth in it like

sometimes I needed to

hear it's not wise so

if I have a friend and

I want to want to go

into war and I

realize that battle I

could probably not win

and I go for for

guidance and he says

oh you're a great

leader like you can do

it I'll lose

everything so truth is

such an essential part

that that we need so

when I see that

heartbeat of proverbs I

see graciousness and

the gentleness but I

also see truth now

when you look at that

there is no way around

that you can see that

it all points to the

same thing it's the

story of Christ we look

at John chapter 1 verse

John 1:1

1 it says in the

beginning was the word

and the word was God

and the word was with

God and the word was

God and in verse 14

and the word became

flesh and he made his

dwelling among us and

we have seen his

glory the glory of the

one and only son who

came from the father

full of grace and

truth the word

Christ spoken into

being the world that

that has been been

breathing into existence

by the very Christ

this word becomes

flesh and he makes it

makes his dwelling among

us Jesus Christ in him

we see the full glory of

God right here where we

are and then it says in

the fullness of grace and

truth so hundreds of

years before Christ even

comes we see the

proverbs and the

proverbs guide us in a

kingdom perspective

saying when you speak

words they need to be

spoken with graciousness

but also with truth and

then 600 years later the

word becomes flesh and

dwells among us in the

fullness of grace and

truth seen by the

people it actually

reminds me of a story

that happened to me

during the time that I

was was struggling with

was anxiety and

depression so there

are a lot of words

being said that really

crushed my soul and a

lot of trust was broken

with people and even the

people that kind of like

knew me said words but

they couldn't really lift

me up from where I was

but there was this story

that happened one of my

friends actually decided to

get on the plane and flew

out in the morning on one

day and he met me for an

afternoon and the evening

of that day he got back

on the plane and flew

back to England he saw

me for an afternoon and

why that story means so

much to me is because it

was not about the words

but it was the effort that

showed that he cared and

I see that in God I see

that in his word that he

gave us words lots of

words in the Old

Testaments lots of words

about his graciousness

and his truth and his

character but at one

point he decides it's

enough words and the

word becomes flesh and he

dwells among us and he

walks among us and he

shows us who he is

words need to be followed

by by action and lived

out to become real and

true and so I look at

what Christ does and how

the God of the universe

becomes the word becomes

flesh and he dwells among

us and there he takes on

all our hurt even the

hurt from all our words

that have happened our