1 Peter: Hope and Relationships

A lot of new faces.

So if this is your first time, welcome to Watermark.

If this is your 100th time, welcome.

My name is Tobin, and I'm one of the pastors here.

If you're joining us for the first time, we have been looking at the book of 1 Peter.

1 Peter was written by Peter to Christians,

Christians who were churches that were probably 20 to 30 years old.

They were growing, they were vibrant, but there was a problem.

There was a problem, and it was that there was persecution coming along very quickly and rapidly,

and the Christians didn't know how to act in a world that was hostile to them.

Peter's been telling us all along, and we've been looking at it throughout this passage,

that when we come to Christ, if you're a Christ follower here,

that Christ's Spirit comes inside of you, and He enters into you, the Holy Spirit,

the third person of the Trinity, He enters into you, and He starts to change us.

He changes us. He changes the way we think.

He changes the way we speak. He changes the way we act.

He changes our values. He changes the way we dress.

Some people, the change happens really quickly.

It's like you've seen people who are addicted to something, and all of a sudden, boom,

they're no longer addicted.

But then for some people, the change happens slower,

and God has different lessons to teach them,

and different things to build into their life.

And so He's working with each one of us as His children in a journey,

and each one of these journeys looks different.

We get in trouble when we start to compare our journeys with each other

because God sees us as different people.

We're different talents and vessels that have His image stamped on us.

Last week, He started using different words about us.

You remember when we talked about it last week.

If you weren't here, go back and listen to the passage.

He says that He started calling us things like a royal priesthood,

and the idea was the priest was the Latin actually means a bridge builder,

that we're bridge builders.

We're here to build bridges between the world that doesn't know Christ

and our community and our family.

So we're called something different.

We're called a holy nation.

It's holy that we're set apart,

and we talked about how our passports are in heaven

and not in Hong Kong or America or Texas or wherever you're from.

We talked about that we are these living stones,

that we're these living stones,

and life has been put into us by the living stone, Jesus.

And we used an illustration.

We talked about how Christ says that He's just His foundation.

He's this cornerstone, this precious thing,

and that all of us fit onto this foundation.

This might be just our life,

and then Jesus is in our life,

and my life is fitting here,

and Christ is teaching me,

and He's ordering things and orienting things,

and I'm learning things.

But He says also that these rolling stones come together,

and they lay on top of this foundation together,

and they start to build this thing called a church.

That's one of my prayers as a pastor often,

and it's probably the most difficult prayer,

is to try to pray that the holy stones will stop being rolling stones,

and they'll come together,

and they'll build this church,

this vessel of God's glory and His honor.

And we said that when we began this church,

that several of us prayed,

and we thought,

well, what does it look like to be a holy nation,

and a royal priesthood,

and different stones, living stones.

And we said that we felt like God was calling us within this congregation

to do a couple things.

We said that we would have to pray,

and we mentioned it last week,

that we're all called to pray.

Someone came up to me afterwards and said,

I mean, this isn't the venue that we always have,

and no, you know,

we don't know where we're going to meet almost every week.

We find out about a month ahead,

and we start scrambling,

and this is the venue we want to meet in every time,

but sometimes we don't get to meet this in here

because there's lawyers in here,

or a banquet in here,

or something like that,

and then we get put up on the 7th floor,

and the 6th floor,

and the 4th floor,

or ISF,

and all those are great places to meet,

and we're so thankful for those places,

but we're not choosing,

hey, let's go on the 7th floor today,

because I know some people really hate the 7th floor,

and they don't like it,

but we're just praying and saying,

God, where do you want us,

and we want to be here,

and we need places for kids to meet,

and so every Sunday is an adventure for the staff,

and so we, as a family,

need to be praying about those things,

and thinking about those things.

We said that every one of us needs to serve.

You can't see that,

but serve,

that we're called to serve.

Every Sunday,

there's 20 to 50 people that serve in here,

and do different things,

and Sunday school teachers,

and teaching,

and leading,

and worship,

and we feel like if we don't all do it together,

then it's not,

it's not going to work,

and so we feel like it's part of being this living stone,

is that we come together,

and we're all called to serve.

If you serve one Sunday a month,

in some capacity,

that's amazing,

and we usually do it within our community groups here,

at Watermark.

We're called to tithe,

tithe,

we talk about tithing,

and giving,

and we talk about what does that look like,

and you know,

we don't pass a tithe here.

If you're new here,

you're going to see these little purple envelopes,

and there's little boxes here,

but it was a step of faith for us,

the 40 people who started.

We said,

hey,

we want to bring our friends to a place

where they're not always passing money buckets around,

because it freaks them out,

but we're going to talk about money,

because we feel like it's one of the greatest hindrances

to people in Hong Kong,

money,

and education,

and power,

and lust.

Well,

we're going to talk about all those things,

but we don't pass an offering around,

because we didn't want your guests to feel uncomfortable,

but it means that those in the family need to give,

and help us with the outreaches,

and the cost of the venue,

and all these things that are involved in being a church family,

and building this building,

and when we talked about,

the last thing we said we were called to do as a holy people

is to invest and invite,

that we're all called to invest in people's lives,

and invite people into the community group,

and invite people into church,

and there are people that you're going to meet today,

and tomorrow,

and at work,

I'll never get a chance to meet.

In fact,

the minute I meet them,

and I say,

you know,

I'm a pastor,

they're like,

you know,

shut up,

and they don't,

you know,

they usually say other things,

but you,

you get a chance to just talk about it,

and live a life that's different,

and that's what Peter's talking about,

he's talking about living a life that's different,

a life apart from words,

and we talked last week that we all need to do this,

as a family,

that if one block doesn't fit in,

then the Lego house that we built here was,

would have holes in it,

and it wouldn't function the way that God meant for it to function,

and then we'd be in trouble,

we wouldn't be the church that God wants us to be,

because we need everybody,

we need you to come and to serve if you're in God's family,

we don't want you just to come and be a spectator,

and that's what happens in churches a lot,

right,

sometimes churches have like a football match,

there's 22 people playing in the front,

and there's 80,000 people watching,

but we believe that for you to serve,

and to do all these things,

it will actually make you a better you,

it's a step of faith,

and trusting the Lord,

and then we come to this passage this week,

and we're looking at it,

and I know some of you are laughing,

I mean some of you,

the minute you heard the word submit,

you just shut your mouth,

and said there's nothing I'm going to listen to here,

there's nothing I can learn from here,

and some of you are laughing at me,

because you're like,

oh Tobin,

he just opened this hand grenade,

and he's holding this hand grenade there,

and he's going to blow himself up,

and let's see how long it takes him to blow himself up,

with the word submit,

maybe he'll get the pin in,

but he's probably going to blow himself up,

you know,

because it's just a different,

it's the S word,

you know,

in Christianity,

and in the world today,

no one wants to talk about submitting,

or what that looks like,

or submission,

it's crazy,

but you know,

Paul,

he talks about that,

he's been talking about that,

but it's,

it's scary,

it's scary,

you know,

I used to work in a hospital,

I studied medicine,

and I did trauma unit,

which was my love,

and then,

I can remember,

I was working in,

in a cardiac care unit one day,

and with the doctors,

and just kind of interning,

and watching things,

and this guy came in,

and he was probably my age,

you know,

a young 50,

and,

but he had had his massive heart attack,

and he,

I had a heart attack 10 years ago,

mine was about medium,

and his was really bad,

and he was frail,

and he was not doing good,

and his wife came in all dressed,

and she was,

she looked beautiful,

and she walked in,

and they walked into the doctor's office,

and the first thing the doctor said to him was,

can you step out,

I need to talk to your wife alone,

and so he,

he's kind of concerned,

so he got up,

and he,

he stepped out,

and the doctor and the wife were talking,

and the doctor looked at him,

and said,

your husband's in really bad shape,

I mean,

any kind of stress,

any kind of things that can agitate him,

it will,

it will kill him,

and she's just taking notes,

and listening,

and she's just so meek,

and so,

and just wants to help her husband,

right,

and she's taking,

he goes,

so you just need to remove all stress from his life,

you can't have any stress in his life,

so when he comes home,

there can't be any kind of stress,

or things like that,

and you don't need to talk about stress,

you need to talk to the kids,

about being quiet in the house,

because at this point,

it's very delicate,

and it could kill him,

and I mean,

it would be really bad,

stress is bad,

and she's like,

you're taking notes,

and she goes,

you need to,

you need to cook him his favorite foods,

you need to cook things that he likes,

and because sometimes,

eating meals can make you upset,

and digesting,

and things like that,

and so you need to cook his really,

really food,

and go,

okay,

thank you doctor,

and she goes,

and you need to dress nicely,

you need to present yourself,

so whenever your husband comes to the front door,

you,

you greet him,

and you smile,

and you,

you look the best,

that you've ever looked,

and you're just beautiful,

because that would just relieve stress,

as he walks in,

and he was like,

sanctuary,

a place of home,

it's peace,

I'm okay,

and she's taking these notes down,

and he goes,

you know,

one other thing is,

you need to have sex with him,

because sex has been known to be this thing,

that relieves a lot of tension,

and stress,

and so you,

you need to,

you need as a wife,

to have sex with your husband,

and in fact,

you need to have sex whenever he wants it,

you just need to write,

you know,

whenever he wants to have sex,

whenever he engages with you,

you just have sex,

because that's going to take away all the tension,

and all the pressure,

and all the stress,

and so that's,

that's what you need to do,

and she said,

thank you doctor,

okay,

I'll write it down,

and then she writes it down,

and he goes,

I'm going to bring your husband in,

and you guys can talk about this,

and so he walks,

and he opens the door,

and the guy,

he comes shuffling in,

he sits down,

and he sits to his wife,

because he's just thinking,

you know,

and he says,

what did the doctor say?

and she says,

you know,

honey,

I love you,

but you're going to die,

you get it?

Come on,

but that's what submission is like,

right,

that's why it's so hard,

and so we want to look at,

it's a joke,

okay,

some of you are like,

what?

I worked in a trauma unit,

but not in a cardiac unit,

but no,

but I think that's why it's just so difficult,

but what we want to do today,

in our time that we have,

is I just want to look at submission,

or what it means to submit,

I want to look at a little definition of it,

I want to look at some examples of what it is,

and what it isn't in our world today,

because I feel like we have all these things bombarding us,

and this is what it means,

this is what it doesn't mean,

this is what it means,

so we want to look at that definition,

what it is or what it isn't,

and then how do we do it,

how do we come about it,

and you realize right away,

that when Paul,

and Peter is talking about it,

he's been talking about it throughout the whole book,

he's been talking about it,

about how we deal with our governments,

he's been talking about it,

with how we deal with our bosses,

he's been talking about it,

how we deal with our relationship with God,

he's been talking about,

how we deal with our relationship with each,

Other. And now he talks about how we deal with it in marriage. And what scripture does, and I don't

know if you realize this, is that when God writes the Bible, he puts these institutions that are

over us. Some people call them umbrellas to protect us, but they're these structures, these institutions.

And there's the institution of God in our relationship with him. There's the institution

of government or the king. There's the institution of the family. There's the institution of the

church. There's the institution of work. And all of these institutions are put in us, and he talks

about them in his word. And what he says in his word is that within every one of these institutions,

there's a structure. And within a structure, there's authority. And there's those who have authority,

and there's those who are under authority. He says whatever structure you're in, you're either

reporting to somebody or you have authority over somebody. And it's really important to listen to

this, because the scripture says that authority, the word, is always used in the meaning of to

protect and bless. When somebody has authority over somebody, whether it's the king, God, family,

husband, church, or work, whoever has the authority over it, the meaning of it within scripture was

to protect and to be a blessing. Authority was never meant to benefit the person who has authority.

In scripture, you'll never see that. That's not how God prescribes that. He always says that authority

is over us to protect us and to make us thrive. And that's the number one responsibility for those

who have that authority. But what scripture says is that sin came in, and it broke up all of these

relationships. Our relationship with God, our relationship with the government, our relationship

with the church, our relationship with each other, our relationship with work, our relationship with

the family. And it broke up all these authority structures. And so now people don't know what to do and how

to live within these things. And so Peter is teaching you and me, he's saying as Christians now, we need to go

back to the way it was before. That when God's spirit comes into us, God's spirit changes us. The word submit,

it's a military term. It actually means to stay in rank. That's what the Greek word means. It means just

to get put in rank. But the Bible, it doesn't use it that way. The Bible uses the word submit as an

attitude of our heart, an attitude of our mind. It says that submission is a choice. It's just something

that we willingly yield to the one in authority. That we do it, we yield to the one in authority,

whoever that is within the structure, God, government, church, family, husband, work. We yield to those

people in authority because we want to honor God. Does that make sense? The word actually means that,

it actually means, I don't like using a lot of Greek words sometimes because, yeah. But anyway,

I can barely speak English sometimes. So, but it means to be ordered in God's will.

So that when we're called to submit, it means that we are to follow God's will. We're to follow God's

order within the structures that he set up for us. And the Bible never talks about submission as weakness.

In fact, it uses God and Jesus often in submitting. Do you know that we're the only faith in the world

that has a God who submitted? You know, no other faith, no other religion, no other belief system

would even think about having a God who submits to people underneath him. But the passage says that Jesus,

who is God, submitted to us so that he might bring us to a new place.

The idea behind submission biblically is always to bless, to protect, to make better off. And the idea

is always strength and it's always voluntary. Does that make sense? Now, the world tells us a lot of

different things, doesn't it? I mean, the world says different things, but the Bible says this is what

we are to do is God's people because we have a God who did it for us. When you read scripture, what you

see right away is when God set up these structures, what he said is that unless we submit within these

structures, unless we give in and follow out of obedience to what he said, these structures won't

work. There's not going to be harmony between us and God. There's not going to be harmony between us

and our government and king. There's not going to be harmony between us and our boss. There's not

going to be harmony between us and our wives or our husbands. I mean, we talk a lot in our churches

about serving, but what we hardly ever talk about is submitting and submission. But in the language at the

core of serving is this idea of submitting and submission. You can't truly serve another person

unless you submit to them and you submit to them. The scripture tells us in two books in the very front

of the Old Testament. We're going to study them one day, probably in our fifth or sixth year.

In Isaiah 14 and Ezekiel 28, it says, at one time there was an angel. He was the most beautiful angel.

His words in Hebrew and Greek actually means he was a covering angel. He covered the throne of God.

He's the most perfect creation. In Ezekiel 28 and Isaiah 14, it says that this angel, Satan,

was kicked out of heaven because he didn't want to submit. He didn't want to submit. He didn't want to

obey God. And then we read in the first book of the Bible, Genesis, this same angel, this demon,

he comes into creation, into these structures, and he enters right into the relationship of man and God

and husband and wife. And what he does is he uses the same thing that he used on himself.

He talks to Adam and Eve about looking out after their own interest.

He talks to Adam and Eve about disobeying God and not submitting to him because if you submit to him,

then you're not going to get everything that you want.

And they listened. And those structures became fractured.

I mean, you see it again in the Matthew and Mark and Luke. We spent three years going through Luke.

And all throughout Luke, you see that Satan, this perfect angel who's fallen now, he comes to Jesus.

And how does he tempt Jesus?

He tempts him the same way in the authority structures.

And he tempts Jesus not to submit to God.

He tempts Jesus not to obey God.

He tempts Jesus to be independent of God.

And the scripture says over and over and over that at the center of all of our relationships,

at the center of all that God has created,

there's this core sense of us working together,

thinking the best of each other,

sacrificing for each other,

loving each other,

submitting to each other,

that this thing is at the center of it.

And Jesus talked about it all the time in the Gospels, right?

He said, hey, just don't,

it's not enough just to believe me.

He says, believe me and follow me.

Follow, that word means to submit.

It means to take our interest and put them below the interest of the person that we're helping or serving or following.

Does that make sense?

Now, this is a foundation.

I know I'm going to,

this is the hand grenade.

I'm trying to hold on to it,

but eventually I'm going to let it go.

The good thing about letting it go is when it blows up and people get angry,

I'm here.

You can write me in emails.

You can write the elders' emails.

We're happy to get together with you.

We want to discuss God's word

because we want to be a healthy church.

We want to be a healthy family.

We want to be a healthy community.

We want to be an amazing, healthy city, Hong Kong.

So the grenade's going to blow up.

Some of you, it's already blown up and you got shrapnel everywhere,

but I'm not leaving.

So you can email me.

You can get angry with me.

You can get angry with the elders,

but let's talk about it.

But what I hope you're dealing with is not me.

I hope you're dealing with God.

Because if you come to church every Sunday

and there's nothing that ever bothers you in here,

that's bad.

Because God's words and his commandments and the laws,

they are hard sometimes.

And Jesus calls us to struggle.

And I think this is one of the areas that I struggle with so much,

and it is so hard.

You know, the world says that submission has to be limited.

The world says limit your submission

and make it all about authority.

Only submit to those people who can beat you up.

Only submit to those people who can get you what you need.

I mean, we tend to think of submission as this.

It's Tobin, and there's people above me,

and there's people below me.

People above me, I submit to.

They have authority to me, so I obey them.

People below me, they listen to me.

But my goal in life,

my goal in life is to take those people from the top

and put them where?

Come on.

It's church.

You can talk.

Where?

I want to put them underneath me, right?

I mean, to be successful in every area of life,

whether it's my finances or the stuff I have

or the house I have

or the kids that go to school,

my goal is always to take these people who are above me

to put them below me.

And the more people that are below me than above me,

that ratio determines how successful I am.

And that's the struggle we have all the time.

The disciples had that problem, didn't they?

I mean, over and over, Jesus was saying,

what are you guys talking about?

They're talking about who's the greatest in the kingdom.

They wanted to put people that were above them below them

and people who were below them above them,

and they wanted to put themselves above.

But what the Bible says

and what Peter's been trying to tell us

throughout these passages is that submission is broad.

Submission is to our peers,

and it's to those not in authority over us.

Submission is in God's kingdom.

I mean, in God's kingdom, we've been reading,

and it says the greatest person in God's kingdom

is the person who serves everyone.

The greatest person in God's kingdom

is the person who serves everyone.

And when he says that, he's thinking of Jesus, right?

And he's thinking of us.

He said, hey, Tobin,

don't just place your interest before others,

but seek other person's glory.

Seek other people's benefit.

The world's going to tell you this,

but the Bible says this.

I mean, the world says that submission

should only be observed

if your best interest is at heart, right?

Doesn't it?

I mean, the world says that if someone is watching,

you submit.

Right?

I mean, we have radar detectors in our cars,

some of us,

because we want to see if somebody's watching.

If they're watching,

we slow down.

I mean, we're at work,

and we want to make sure that our boss is there

when we get in there,

or before we get in there,

and we want to make sure our boss leaves,

you know,

way before we leave,

because we realize that there's this idea of submitting,

and if somebody's watching,

then we do it.

But if not, no.

I mean, many of us in here, right,

you're working crazy hours.

You're working unhealthy hours.

You're working insane hours.

You're working for this big paycheck or a bonus.

I mean, we,

the world tells us,

if you submit,

you won't experience pain.

You won't experience suffering.

I mean, most of our lives,

as people in the world,

we're trying to get rid of pain and suffering,

aren't we?

If I submit to my boss,

I'm not going to have the pain of losing my job.

If I submit to this person,

then I'm not going to experience suffering.

If I submit to my husband,

or I submit to my wife,

then my life will be easier,

because I'm not going to have all this suffering.

I mean, that's what the world says.

See, the pin is flying off right now,

and the hand grenade's about to blow up.

But, you know,

but what the Bible says is that our submission is,

is motivated by faith.

The Bible says our submission is motivated by hope.

The Bible says our submission is motivated by love.

I mean, the Bible says that as Christians,

when we submit,

submit that we actually often move towards suffering.

We actually often move towards pain.

We actually often do things that make us very uncomfortable

and very difficult.

The world says,

no, get away from those things,

but what Scripture says is,

we're following Christ.

Christ is throwing himself on the hand grenade.

So we, as Christians,

are called to move towards self-sacrifice.

We're actually called towards to move pain,

and you know what the hard thing about being a Christian is sometimes?

Paul says this.

He says,

sometimes you're going to do those things,

and you're never going to receive your reward here.

I mean, most of us do things so we can receive our reward here and now.

But Paul says if we follow God,

that the benefit of that,

we might not ever even receive that until we get to heaven.

For some of us who like the gospel sexy,

I come to Christ, everything's perfect,

I get a Rolex,

I get a beautiful wife,

everything works out.

We don't like to hear those things.

But Paul's saying this is what happens in the real world.

Can I share one more?

Is that okay?

Can I share one?

These are all personal.

These are all me, okay?

This is Tobin.

I'm sharing you.

Okay, one thing,

and then I'm going to bring a special speaker up here

who's much wiser than I am.

This is what I've been learning.

In Tobin's world,

the idea of submission often involves complex sets of rules

and regulations in gray areas.

In Tobin's world,

submission has to be centered around rules

and what's enough and what's not enough

and what should I do and what shouldn't I do

and all these regulations.

Is it like that in your world?

I mean, when you read the Old Testament,

it's full of it, right?

The people of God,

they were given 12 commandments,

but how many rules did they end up with?

Hundreds.

Hundreds of rules.

Why?

Well, what you see eventually is that the people,

they didn't really love God.

They didn't really want to submit to God.

And so they set up all these different rules

to see how close they could get to doing things

so that it wasn't comfortable enough for them.

We do that, don't we?

I mean,

my kids are,

are my kids in here?

They're not in here.

My kids are playing.

Kip's here.

I won't use your name this time, buddy.

But my kids are playing.

And all of a sudden I hear a scream

and I walk in there

and I say,

what happened?

Well,

so-and-so hit me.

Okay.

So that's what I usually do.

I usually find blames.

Christina's really going,

oh,

so tell me what happened here.

But I walk in there like,

okay,

let's deal with it right away.

So what happened?

So-and-so hit me.

Oh,

did you hit them?

No.

So what did you do?

I flicked them.

Okay.

No hitting,

no flicking.

Have fun

and be nice to each other.

It's about 20 minutes later, right?

People start freaking out and screaming.

And I walk in there and go,

what happened?

Did you hit somebody?

No.

Did you flick somebody?

No.

I bumped them.

But we laugh, right?

But we do that too,

don't we?

Don't we do that?

I mean,

the command is there

and we look at it

and we go,

oh,

but you know,

what if I just did this instead?

What does it mean to serve?

Or what does it mean to give?

Or what does it really mean

to pray for people?

What does it really mean

to be a part of a church?

I mean,

I'm doing a sliver of that thing, right?

That's okay, right?

In Tobin's world,

the laws multiply

and they flourish

when there's no inward submission

in my heart.

If my heart isn't after the Lord,

if my heart isn't to love my life,

if my heart isn't to be a good

wherever God's placed me,

then I set up all these rules

and these gradations

so that I can feel good about myself.

Am I just talking to myself?

We all flick,

hit,

push,

tug,

because we don't want to obey.

We don't want to submit.

And so Peter comes to this passage today

and he talks about

this next relationship

and it's husband and wife.

He talks about how wives and husbands

should interact,

but he's been talking about it all along

within the government

and within the work.

He's been talking about

how we're different.

And so what I thought I would do

is I would drop the grenade

on my marriage.

And so I've asked

probably the wisest person

that I know,

my wife Christina,

to come up

and I want to ask her

some questions about this passage.

So Christina,

will you come up here?

Okay.

How are you doing?

Are you worried?

Okay.

So we haven't actually

talked about this a lot.

We looked at the passages

and things like that.

Christina and I have been married

for 17 years now, right?

And we have four kids, right?

And Christina was heavily involved

in ministry.

What you don't know

is she's an amazing discipler.

Okay, you don't have to say all that.

She's probably just as gifted as I am.

Or more.

You think you have a pastor

in the church,

but you really have two people

working for the church, right?

That's the way we see it.

We're a package deal.

So Christina,

when you look at this passage for...

Does that mean I have to get up here

every time you ask me?

Okay.

So if we look at 1 Peter 2 and 3,

1 through 9,

maybe just the question

we thought about was,

what in your life,

how have you come to think

about this idea of concept

of marriage

and submission within marriage?

Okay.

Well, first off,

I have to say that

when Tobin asked me

to come up here,

I didn't want to.

So this is definitely

you're seeing submission in action.

But we just got back

from the summary

and I asked him

about his sermon series

and he was like,

okay, we're going to talk about stuff

and I want you to come up.

And I said,

oh no,

you know,

just trying to settle in,

get the kids in school.

I really don't want to have to,

you know,

think about something like that.

And he goes,

but it's the subject submission.

Oh, okay, great, lovely.

So yeah, so I'm here.

So I grew up in a family

that actually did live by this concept.

And so I did see this role model to me.

And I remember actually very clearly

my grandmother talking to me

about one time.

She, her husband,

and she would travel around the world actually.

And back then,

that was quite extravagant

and people didn't do,

didn't travel around the world

back in my grandparents' day very often.

And so,

but my grandfather really liked to do this.

And so my grandmother was,

I guess this particular time was like,

you know,

I don't see the purpose in it.

Why do we have to go on another,

you know, holiday?

It's a holiday.

It's, you'd think you'd be excited,

but there's,

why do we have to do this?

And she said,

but you know,

every time I followed my husband

and every time

the Lord,

I'd be along the way

and I'd talk to somebody

and this specific time

they went to Europe or something.

And she said,

and I talked to somebody,

you know,

along the way

and I was able to share my faith with them.

And it was such an encouraging time.

And so the Lord always,

you know,

it always gave me a purpose in it.

And so that was kind of what I saw

growing up

with my family.

But also,

I did struggle with this concept

when it came to husband and wife relationships

because just what we learn in society,

you know,

that it's a superior versus inferior thing,

which is what I've come to believe

is not what the Bible is saying,

but our world says that.

And I think that as I talk with women,

my friends,

our study groups that we do together,

you know,

we always push back

when we hear that

because we think of,

you know,

Confucianism says that

that submission is,

there's a superior and an inferior,

right?

And so it wasn't until

I was shown 1 Corinthians 3,

11, 3,

that I really learned to accept this more

and realize that it's God's order of things.

It's a structure.

It doesn't have anything to do about equality.

And that made me be able to relax

and open up and go,

okay,

maybe I can listen to this more

and see what God has to say

if it's not about equality.

Do you want to read that passage?

It's in the bulletin.

Oh,

okay.

So it talks,

it says that,

that Jesus Christ

submits to God the Father

and that man submits to Jesus Christ

and that woman submits to man.

So where it starts to rub me wrong,

I was like,

wow,

well,

is Jesus equal to God the Father?

Yes.

The Bible talks about the Trinity

and so,

and how they're equal.

They are all God,

right?

Three parts.

But Jesus submitted to God the Father,

so they're equal.

It doesn't have anything to do with superiority

or inferiority.

So then,

wow,

if Jesus submitted to God,

perhaps I can submit to my husband.

And the verse that we're talking about says,

you know,

submitting to your husband.

And I just want to make clear

that the Bible does not say

submitting to your boyfriend

or all men,

right?

Like some cultures say,

actually,

right?

So the biblical way

is only your husband.

And so I do actually think

that's important

because sometimes we think the other.

So anyways,

I think that in light of this,

that submission is not

an ignorance,

right?

That I walk around in ignorance

or ignorant to the situation,

any situation.

It does not mean

that I'm subservient

to my husband.

It does not mean

that I have to be silent

when my husband sins.

I need to admonish him

and love him in Christ

as a brother.

It does not give me,

this is not an excuse

for abuse

in families,

right?

If you

feel threatened

in any way

for your safety,

this is not an excuse

for that to go on.

You need to ask for help

from others,

right?

So that's not what

he's talking about.

But if it is

an average unkindness

within the family

or a lack of love,

God says that he

is going to be the one

to judge them.

And so it's not my place.

I don't have to be the one

to take revenge

or to fight back.

But you never had that happen

in our family at all.

Never, ever.

I'll just wait.

You just wait.

It's very risky

for him to ask me up here.

Maybe he won't do it again.

How about that?

So it's not our place

of revenge,

but what the verse says

that we're talking about,

it's an opportunity

for us to show

God's love

and grace

to our husbands

as a witness,

right?

For them,

to them.

As a witness

to win them

over to Christ

or as a witness

to draw them

closer to Christ.

So I've come to see

that this is a choice

that God has given

to us as wives.

It's not a commandment

from my husband,

which I'm very happy about.

And in Colossians 3, 23,

it says that I'm not even

really submitting

to my husband.

I'm submitting ultimately

to God.

Don't tell him that

because I think he likes it

when he thinks

I'm yielding to him.

No, I'm yielding to God,

really.

You know,

and if you think about it,

that means

that my loving him

or yielding my own desires

is actually not based

on his performance,

right?

And so if it's not based

on his performance,

then when I'm obeying

my Lord

and I'm following God

and I'm trusting

and caring

that he's going

to take care of me,

I don't have to worry

about my own self,

that I'm following him.

And this can actually

save marriages.

I think I've seen it

save marriages

when women are willing

to lay their life down

for their husband.

Also, in Ephesians 4,

it says that God calls us

to be humble,

gentle, patient,

bearing one another's burdens

in love.

And I grew up

going to a summer camp

where we had a motto

that we went around

cheering,

chanting all day

and it's called

the I'm Third model

and it's where

God is first,

others are second,

and myself third.

So that became

my motto in life.

Not that I'm very good at it,

but you know.

So the next question

will be when we talked

about it,

it's like what are

some of the hardships

or benefits

that maybe you've,

probably no hardships

in our marriage,

but the benefits

are huge.

So what are the benefits

that you've experienced

in our lives

as you've lived out

this principle?

I know I'm just,

boom, boom, boom.

You're having a lot of fun,

right?

Yeah, yeah.

Well, really I don't know

why I'm up here

because I'm not very good

at this thing

called submission anyway,

so I don't know.

I do remember

the first time

in our marriage

when we just got married

when I did submit

for the first time.

I remember it very clearly

maybe because,

you know,

I had to,

it was the first time

I actually did it.

And we were moving

to China

and we,

I had,

Tobin had given me

this ring

to get,

as an engagement ring

and our marriage ring

and he said,

well,

there's,

uninsurable in China,

so I don't want you

to take it with you.

I had,

you know,

and I'm like,

wait a minute.

I just waited 30 years

for this ring.

And it might seem silly now,

but I was like,

and my grandmother,

you know,

my grandmother has,

her stone is in this ring

and I'm never,

ever going to take it off.

So,

you know,

nobody's ever going to steal it.

I don't think it needs

to be insured anyway

and so it's really

not a big deal

and,

you know,

I want to take,

I want to take this ring.

This is very symbolic for me.

And then at the end of the day,

you know,

he said,

I really don't think you should,

I don't want you to risk it.

I don't want you to take it.

So I remember

that was the first time

I put it in the safety deposit box

and I didn't see it again

for another five years.

And it was very sad,

but I did it

and I don't know

that there were necessarily

any benefits

that came out of it for me.

Except for the fact that,

you know,

it's the first time

I totally remembered

having to not get my way,

right?

So,

but other things like,

even silly things like,

you know,

going on a date night

and we go to dinner.

And, you know,

we've had major blot arguments

over where we're going to dinner.

And if I only would have just,

you know,

said,

oh,

I think about the other person

instead of me,

it wouldn't have been such a,

you know,

ruined our whole evening,

right?

Tobin loves Western food

and I like Chinese food.

That's,

that's the,

that's our issue.

And then,

when we,

we started doing

these Israel trips,

just trying to give you

a few examples of,

of our life.

We started doing

these Israel trips

when we take tour groups

over to see the Holy Land

and my children,

when we started doing it,

my children were quite young.

They were babies.

And so,

when he first asked me,

he said,

let's do this together.

I don't want to do this

without you.

Let's do it together.

And I said,

any mom in their right mind

would not leave

their one-year-old child.

I was nursing.

The last time I,

the last time I nursed my child

was the day before

we went on this trip,

you know,

to go,

you know,

and do this,

you know.

And,

but I said,

okay,

I'm going to follow my husband

and it has been

an amazing adventure.

I was able to go

and walk in the footsteps

of Jesus,

you know,

and learn a ton.

And my children,

I think,

are still okay.

And,

yes,

even God asks me

to yield

and serve my husband

in sex,

which he's very happy about.

Okay.

So,

whether it's seemingly

a small thing

or a large thing

that we are giving up

our,

yielding our own desires to,

I don't want,

I don't,

don't let anybody

convince you

that it is easy

to submit,

right,

or to serve another

before yourself

because it's or not,

right?

Because we all have

stubborn self-wills,

right?

But this is the beauty of it.

I think that's,

this is the beauty of it

is that only through

Jesus Christ

can we have the ability

to obey the Lord.

That he gives us that.

He gives us this,

he doesn't leave us alone

to do it on our own.

He gives us the Lord.

He gives us the fruits

of the Holy Spirit.

He gives us his spirit.

And even when we don't,

you know,

obey God,

he forgives us.

Right?

And he seems to always

have future opportunities

for me

to follow him

in this way.

I have a few,

just a few more things.

One thing.

For me,

I pray a lot.

I pray

for our relationship

and I pray

for Tobin

as he leads our family.

I pray,

I ask God

to help yield myself

to him,

to Christ,

and to trust,

that I can trust

and care for him.

I read these verses

a lot,

actually.

I did a whole study once

on the role of men

and women,

which was fascinating.

I remember that,

I try to remember

why I'm doing this.

I'm doing this

because it is

to win over my husband

to Christ

or closer to Christ.

And he says,

in these verses,

he says,

it actually makes me

beautiful in his eyes

when I follow God's ways.

And as a woman,

I do desire

to be beautiful

and to be precious

to God.

So that's some

of my motivation.

I hope it encourages you.

That's the only reason

I really got up here

was to hopefully

encourage other women

and love my husband.

Thank you, Hannah.

You're going to be

excited.

So the third question

I was going to ask

is when we first

saw each other,

you were checking me out.

I just want to know

what was it

that drew you to me,

right?

Teasing.

You know,

the passage

is talking

to all of us.

We talk about it

and it makes a big deal

within marriage,

but Peter's been saying

it's within all

our relationships.

It's for married people,

it's for wives,

it's for husbands,

it's for single people.

All the citizens

of God's kingdom

are called

to submit

and to

seek the other person's

glory

and betterness

than our own.

I don't know

how you feel.

I mean, again,

this is a grenade,

it's going off,

and we're thinking

about these things.

You're thinking in yourself,

okay, what does this mean

for me at work?

Maybe some of you

are thinking,

what does this really mean

for me in my dating relationship

or with the other singles

I hang out with?

What does that mean?

What does it mean

for me at school?

I'm a student,

and I'm submitting.

Am I submitting

just so my teachers

see me do things

and they think,

wow, he's a great student,

or is my heart behind it

and I'm really trying

to honor God

as God's child?

What does it mean

in church

when I'm doing things?

Am I doing things

because people are watching me

or is it because

I'm doing it

for the Lord

so that I'll be beautiful

in his sight?

There's a lot of things

we need to unpack here,

and hopefully as you go out

and we meet in community groups

this week,

we'll be talking about

some of these things

and thinking about these things,

but the last thing

the passage says

is this,

because these things,

if you go out

and you try to do it

on your own,

you're going to fail

every time.

And what he talks about

in 1 Peter 2

1 Peter 2:21–25

verses 21 through 25

is how this all

is possible in our life.

And what he says is this,

that you and I

on our own

are dead,

we can't do anything.

But Christ came

and he submitted

on a cross.

He submitted himself

to God's will,

he put us

above himself.

This is God, right?

This is,

if you think about

the hierarchy structure,

God puts himself

above us

and he dies for us

on the cross

so that we then

can come back

into this relationship

that we're broken

but now they're fixed.

And what he says

is the only way

that we can do this

as a church family,

the only way

we can even hope

to do this

as husbands and wives

and single people,

the only way

we can hope to do this

is by continually

coming to the Lord

that's inside of us

and praying to him

and reading his word

and submitting our lives

and confessing

we may do it wrong

because we're not up here

saying we do it right

even 50% of the time.

We struggle all the time.

But what we know

is that God's spirit

inside of us

is continually empowering us

and continually giving us

choices that we never had before.

And the choice now

is am I going to submit

and do what I know

is best for Christina

or am I going to stay selfish

and do what is best

for Tobin?

When I got married

I had a terrible time

with marriage

because I thought marriage

was just like the rest

of single guyhood.

We all have uniforms.

The goal is to make sure

your uniform wins

and the other uniforms lose.

But what I didn't realize

in marriage

is that your husband

and your wife

you have the same uniform.

And if your wife loses

you lose.

But what the passage

is saying here

is as God's children

that all of us

have the same uniform.

And if we try to win

then the body of Christ loses.

And the people around us lose.

And the only way

we're going to win

is by continually submitting

to Christ

and the power within us.

He says a very interesting

word there

and there's two phrases

I want you to think about

as you leave.

He says Christ gave us

a pattern.

It's a very interesting

Greek word.

It actually means a tracing.

What it means is this

that Christ traced his life

on his piece of paper.

And every day

you and I have a choice

to lay our life

piece of paper

on top of this paper

and start to trace our life

over what Christ did.

Christ left us a tracing.

Now some of us

aren't in the family yet

and we're tracing

dollar signs

or we're tracing

power

or we're chasing

Citibank

or whatever we think

is going to bring us

hope and satisfaction

and meaning.

But the passage says here

that Christ left us

this tracing,

this pattern

and now as his people

we have a choice

because his spirit

inside of us

gives us the power

to do that.

He says that Christ

walked these footsteps.

The imagery is very strong

in the language.

What it means is

this dad walked on this beach

and the little kid

is walking behind the dad

in the dad's footprints.

And what Peter is saying

is as we walk

with God together,

as the spirit

changes our lives,

we start to take

our footprints

and we start to take

our patterns

and we start to pattern

them after Christ.

We start walking

in his footsteps.

But every day

is a choice.

You and I

have a choice.

Are we going

to submit

and follow the God,

the creator

of our soul?

Or are we going

to trace our lives

after something else?

It's interesting to me,

Peter wrote this passage

to people who were

very, very mature Christians.

They've been walking

with God 20 and 30 years

and he still comes back

to the same thing

every time.

he comes back

to the cross.

He comes back

to Jesus' sacrifice

for life.

And what I understand

as a pastor

is that that's what

all of our life

is about.

Understanding the cross,

how it impacts

our work,

how we interact

with our government,

how we interact

with our family,

how we interact

with our colleagues,

how we interact

with other singles,

understanding grace

and the power

of God's spirit

within us.

we can give you

50 things to do

when you leave here

but all that's going

to do is make

your performance better.

It's going to be

those laws,

Tobin's laws,

prolific.

But what we're talking

about is our heart.

And the choice is

are we going to let God

change our heart

or are we going

to keep the heart

the same way it is?

It's step by step.

I fail, fail, fail, fail.

Okay, God does something.

Fail, fail, fail.

Okay, God does something.

But when I realize

that God is taking

us on a journey

and the question is

do we want to go with him?

Does that make sense?

Always comes back

to the cross.

Always comes back

to what Jesus did.

Always comes back

to a choice.

Are we going to use

that power,

allow that power

to change us?

Or are we going

to follow

in somebody else's

footsteps?

Father, we thank you

for this day.

We thank you

for your word

that is living

and active.

This is true today

as it was

2,000 years ago

as Peter shared it

to all these churches

that were about

to struggle

with persecution

and death

and difficulties

as your people.

Father, I pray

for us in here.

I know that there

are many of us

in here right now

that we are

copying,

drawing,

tracing

something else

besides you.

We have our hope

in the job.

We have our hope

in Hong Kong.

We have our hope

in our body.

We have our hope

in our ability

to think

and be clear

and outthink

and outtalk

other people.

We have our hope

in all these things

and we're tracing

this life.

But if we were honest

and looked

at the end picture,

we'd realize

that there's very,

very little hope

there.

So I pray

for those of us

in here

who are tracing

something different

and haven't yet

entered into the family.

I pray that they

would ask questions.

They would seek

the people that brought them.

I pray they would come

talk to Christina

and myself

and we would talk

about these things

and look at your son

and look at the claims

of your word.

And Lord,

for the rest of us

in here who've been

on this journey

and we've been walking

in these footprints

but then all of a sudden

we realize

that we've lost

the footprints

and we look behind us

and we look in front of us

and there's no feet

and we're just going

down this trail

on our own

and in our own power

and our own strength

and we're lost.

Father,

we just come before you

and we just confess

that our selfishness

and our pride

and our arrogance

and our self-sufficiency

is your people.

We're so thankful

that you're always

watching us.

We're so thankful

that you give us

other opportunities

to obey

and to trust you.

We're so thankful

that you're the God

of second chances

and that you never,

you never,

you never give up on us

as we sing

but I don't know

if we really believe that.

Lord,

we pray for this church

and we pray

for the people

who serve

and for the people

who speak

and pray that our lives

are different

than the people around us.

We pray for the offering

that's being taken

that it would honor you

and allow us to do

the ministries

that you've called us to do

and we pray

just that we would be

your hands

and your feet

in this amazing city

called Hong Kong.

Father,

thank you

that we do it together

and I pray

that there's any words

that we spoke today

that were not of you

that we would quickly

forget those things

but your word,

that precious nugget

of your son

and his life,

help us to think

about that.

Help us to live that out

in every area

of our life.

I know there are

students here,

there's teachers here,

there's doctors here,

there's lawyers here,

there's bankers,

there's housewives,

there's husband wives,

our husbands

and all those people

where we have to

just every day

think about

what does it mean for me?

What does it mean for me?

What does it mean for me

to trace my life

after Christ?

What does it mean for me

to walk in his footsteps?

I know that we need

this message even more

when difficult times come

and your word says they will.

If we're different,

difficult times will come

but we have a shepherd

who watches after our soul

and who takes care of us.

And so we come to you today,

our shepherd.

We love you.

We need you.

We pray these things

in Jesus' holy name.

Amen.