Made for Friendship (1) - Genesis 1-3

If you turn with me once again to Genesis, those opening chapters of the book of Genesis,

about the fact that according to the Bible, you and I are made for friendship.

C.S. Lewis, the Christian author, described friendship as the greatest of worldly goods.

And when we take time to stop and reflect on what we have and what we enjoy,

then surely friendship is right there as one of life's great gifts to us.

Maybe like me, you find that there was a day you can look back on when making friendships and enjoying friendships used to be so simple.

And my brother got married just after Christmas,

and my two boys made a really strong friendship with another little boy

over their shared love of taking a Lego car and crashing it down some steps.

My best friend in primary school, I knew we were going to be good friends because he had an inhaler and I had an inhaler.

It used to be really simple, but now friendship can be quite difficult.

And we find that we are a lot more busy probably than we used to be.

As people, we tend to be more mobile.

We don't stick in the same community.

So we're constantly saying goodbye to others and having to think about making new friends.

And then we've got the sort of disconnection that comes when we live in the digital age

and everything is done on screens rather than face-to-face.

And it's lost.

The loss of friendship is having a major impact on society.

I don't know if you knew that the UK is one of the few countries in the world

that has a government minister for loneliness,

recognizing the sort of epidemic level of loneliness in communities.

Health studies will show that having friends around will increase the likelihood of recovery,

will speed it up, whereas trying to recover in isolation will tend towards decline.

To quote from J.C. Ryle, a pastor from a previous generation,

he said,

Friendship halves our sorrows and doubles our joys.

And if you imagine experiencing life without friends and without family,

we begin to appreciate what he's saying.

When you think back to those trials and difficulties that you've had in your life,

imagine going through them without having anyone else to turn to.

Or in those good times, those moments of joy and celebration,

how good it is to be able to open up and to share that with others.

We discover that friendship is very good for us.

It's very good for our character too,

because friends have that ability to shape us.

I think one of the reasons the Bible so often tells us to be wise

in the people that we spend time with,

in the friends that we choose,

because we tend to become like those that we are like.

But friends can helpfully show us our areas of weakness

and help us to develop in strength.

And then there's the Christian understanding of friendship,

which is distinct because it includes in it the idea of friendship with God,

that you and I are made for community and friendship on this level with one another.

But we're also made for friendship with God.

And the Bible would also say that the more that we know God,

the more that we spend time with Jesus,

the better friends that we are able to be.

If we become like the one that we spend time with,

if we become more like Jesus,

then we'll be the best kind of friends that we can be.

So our big idea this morning is just to remind ourselves

or to see for ourselves that the Bible teaches that we are made for friendship

and then to think about the fact that Jesus came into the world

to save us again for friendship,

to restore what has been lost.

So that takes us to Genesis 1.

In the garden, we are made for friendship.

I remember sometimes in school,

we would have sort of these little group exercises,

I think just to get us talking and thinking.

And one of the questions was,

what are the things that are essential for life?

And you had to make a little list in a few minutes of what you thought was essential.

I don't know where you would put friendship.

Would you put it on an essential list

or a kind of nice, but it's a luxury sort of thing?

Where does friendship fit in our thinking?

According to the Bible, it's necessary.

It's true from the beginning.

When everything was perfect, God designed us for friendship.

Now let's read together in Genesis chapter 1 and at verse 26.

Genesis 1 · chapter mention

Then God said,

Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule.

Here is God saying, let us.

Here is a hint of what becomes much clearer as the Bible goes on.

That our God is not a solitary being.

He is a Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

And what we discover in the Bible is that Father, Son, and Spirit

eternally live in this perfect union of perfect love.

The Bible says, 1 John 4, God is love.

And that's true of God perfectly and eternally.

Some people have the idea that God made the world

because he was lonely and he wanted someone to love.

And that's not true because God is not solitary.

He is a fellowship, Father, Son, and Spirit.

Rather, we are created to enjoy the overflow of his perfect love.

In his goodness, he gives us this opportunity,

this invitation to experience his love.

Genesis 1 also makes clear that we are made in the image of God.

And what becomes clear in Genesis is that part of that

is that we are to reflect his rule.

God is king and he's established us as people to be wise stewards

and to rule over the earth.

But also, we are the image of God

in that we are to reflect his character and his glory.

What do we learn of God in the early chapters of Genesis?

Well, we see that he is a God who speaks,

a God who speaks to Adam and to Eve.

He's a speaking God.

He is a God who is relational.

He relates to his creation and especially to the man and the woman.

And he is a loving God.

That this God who is Father, Son, and Spirit is love

and he creates us in his image so that we might love

and that we might enjoy friendships.

Genesis 1 and Genesis 2 are two different ways

of looking at the creation story.

Genesis 1 is like the wide angle view.

Genesis 2 much more is a zoom lens focus

on the creation of Adam and Eve.

So if Genesis 1 finishes that God saw everything that he made

and it was very good, as we zoom in and see the process

of creating the man and the woman,

we discover something perhaps surprising.

Chapter 2, verse 18, the Lord God said,

it is not good for the man to be alone.

I will make a helper suitable for him.

So focusing on the creation of human beings

focuses us on the first man, Adam,

and we discover that in the beginning,

he was created solitary.

He was alone.

And attention is drawn to this fact

that to be alone is to be less than good.

To be alone is to have a sense of something being incomplete.

This is before sin,

but without there being friendship and relationship,

there is something incomplete.

Tim Keller, a pastor from New York, says,

the ache for friends is the one ache

that is not the result of sin.

Adam couldn't enjoy paradise without friends.

There is something in us that needs other people.

To be human is to be made to enjoy friendship.

We're placed in families.

We enjoy friendships in communities.

We enjoy connections at work and also in churches

because that's how we are wired.

And so as the creation story goes on,

we discover in verse 20 that Adam needs,

verse 18 and verse 20,

Adam needs a suitable helper,

but that no animal would be enough.

So verse 21,

God creates Eve.

And now there is side by side.

Now there is face-to-face friendship.

And what we discover of Adam and Eve

is that they are called by God to work

and they need each other for that.

They are called to rest and to enjoy God

and they need each other for that.

They're called to worship.

And again, they do that together.

For work and rest and play and worship,

we need other people.

And now with friendship,

now with Adam and Eve,

creation can be described as very good.

So Genesis 1 and 2 tell us

that we are made for friendship.

So let's just think about what that means for us.

Well, first of all, a very basic level,

we discover that friendship is a gift from God.

And so we are to be thankful

both to God and to our friends.

When there are people in our lives

who care for us, who are there for us,

we are to be thankful, not just for them,

but also to be thankful to them,

to appreciate friends that we have

as a gift from God.

Also, it's helpful for us to reflect.

If God said that in the beginning

we were made for relationship,

is that something that we are actively pursuing?

Are we investing ourselves,

seeking to be a good friend to others?

Am I making this a priority

to make sure I have enough time for my family

or to be developing friendships

within a church community?

Church.

Church.

One of the functions of church

is as a vehicle for friendship,

that we're gathered together

from different places,

different backgrounds,

different countries,

but we're brought together,

and it's an opportunity then

for us to develop friendships together.

A church should always be a place

where anyone can feel welcome,

where anyone who wants to

should be able to feel

that they can belong,

to have a place of community

and friendship.

But especially,

as we reflect upon the fact

that we're not just created

for friendship on a human level,

that we're also created

for friendship with God,

church becomes a place

where we can develop

that deep relationship

with God as well.

Again, going back to

why do we have community groups

that meet together?

Why do we have a women's Bible study?

It's so that together

we can develop in friendship

and know God better

and enjoy God more.

So again, an encouragement to you.

If you're not part

of one of those groups,

they're really helpful

for Christian development

and for developing

Christian friendships.

So in the garden,

we discover we're made

for friendships,

but in the garden,

in the garden of Eden,

we also see that friendship

is lost.

That takes us to

Genesis chapter 3.

Genesis 3 · chapter mention

Genesis 2 ends

with this perfect picture

of relationships.

There's the man and the wife

and they're together

and they're naked

and there's no shame,

but then the snake comes,

the devil comes.

In the Bible,

the devil is described

as the deceiver

and the father of lies.

He is the destroyer.

He is the enemy of God

and we see him at work

looking to destroy

these friendships

that God has established.

So he comes into the garden

and he tempts the woman

and the man.

In verse 1,

he said to the woman,

did God really say

you must not eat

from any tree in the garden?

Then,

here's this questioning

of God's goodness,

God's generosity.

The whole thrust seems to be

God is holding something

back from you.

There is something better

that God does not want you

to enjoy.

Verse 4,

a deliberate encouragement

to doubt and mistrust

the word of God.

God had said,

if they sin,

they will die.

The serpent says,

you will not surely die.

And any place is this desire

to be God-like in their heads.

For God knows that

when you eat of it,

your eyes will be opened

and you'll be like God

and knowing good and evil.

And all of a sudden,

there's this God complex.

This is attractive to Eve

and attractive to Adam

to have that position

of absolute rule and authority

to leave God to one side.

And what we see is Adam and Eve

believe the lie.

Sin comes and chaos comes,

in particular,

in terms of relationships.

One of the things we discover

in the Bible about sin

is that sin is going against

the Creator's good and wise design.

That God made us

and He knows how we are to live best.

And sin is rejecting that.

And the effects

when Adam and Eve

reject God's good and loving rule

are devastating on friendships.

Perfect relationships

that God had established

are now gone.

Verse 7,

what do we see?

The eyes of both of them

were opened

and they realized

they were naked.

So they sewed fig leaves together

and made coverings for themselves.

This is the beginning of hiding.

Gone is openness,

honesty, transparency.

There's covening up.

There's a sense of shame

into their relationship.

There's also blaming,

accusing, blame shifting.

Verse 12,

the man said,

the woman you put here with me,

she gave me some fruit

from the tree

and I ate it.

So this,

the human relationship

is now being spoiled by sin

and we see it too

in their friendship with God.

Verse 8,

the man and his wife

heard the sound

of the Lord God

as he was walking

in the garden

in the cool of the day

and they hid

from the Lord God

among the trees

of the garden.

Not only hiding

from one another,

now they're hiding

from God.

Now there is guilt,

now there is shame,

now there is fear.

One of the things

that we discover

about sin

is that it is

anti-social.

It separates,

it isolates,

it spoils

and breaks.

Friendship with one another

and friendship

with God.

And so we find

that in this beautiful garden

there is darkness,

there is devastation,

but there is also

in the middle

of human rebellion

God's words of hope.

Genesis 3

and verse 15.

As God speaks

to the serpent,

he says,

I will put enmity

between you

and the women.

And then there is

this promise

between your offspring

and hers.

He will crush

your head

and you

will strike

his heel.

A promise

of a son,

a seed

of the women

who would come

to be

God's chosen hero.

The one who would

defeat the devil

and his schemes.

the one who would

inflict that wound

on the serpent

so that we would

not be left

as people without hope.

So that we might know

that reconciliation

with God

is possible.

So that we would know

that it is possible

to live in community

and to enjoy

friendship

because our God

is a God of grace

and a God

with a plan

of salvation.

salvation.

But as we think

about the friendship

that's lost in the garden,

we see

that sin

is damaging

to our friendships.

And again,

as we reflect on that

in our own lives,

don't we see that

it's our selfishness

where we want

everything to be

about us

and on our terms

where it's

our pride

or maybe

it's jealousy

where we're

unable to celebrate

the success

of someone else.

Instead,

we want to tear them down

so that we

might have that play.

It's our gossip

and the lies

that we spread,

the anger

that we show

towards the people

that we care for

that cause

so much destruction

in our relationships.

And the question

is,

what do we

do with that?

Sin is a reality

in all of our

relationships.

What do we

do with it?

And the Bible

teaches us

that we don't

cover up.

We don't try

and minimize it.

We don't try

and blame someone else.

We don't try

and justify it.

Rather,

we are to

honestly confess it.

We're going to

focus on this

next week.

But we can maybe

think about David

in Psalm 51.

who honestly

confess to God

his sin.

1 John chapter 1

1 John 1 · chapter mention

where we're told

to confess our sin

to one another.

If we are to be

reconciled,

we need to deal

with the sin

that separates

and spoils.

Another point

of application

is that

friendship has been

lost,

but God is looking

to restore.

And one of the ways

that he does that

is through the church.

As a church,

as God's people,

we are to be

on a mission

of friendship.

Paul,

in 2 Corinthians 5

and verse 18,

said,

God reconciled us

to himself

through Christ

and gave us

the ministry

of reconciliation.

So,

first of all,

God sends Jesus

and he takes our sin

and he dies on the cross

for our sin

so that we can have

peace with God.

And then,

that's the message,

that's the heart

that we bring

to the world,

into our neighborhood,

into our community,

into our family.

So,

in our friendships,

we're seeking

to point people

towards friendship

with God

through Jesus.

So,

as a church,

our friendships

are significant.

It's also important

for us

to acknowledge

that we will know,

to use the words

of Tim Kelly,

the H of Eden,

that we will experience

in friendships

pain and loss

and disappointment.

And there will be times

where we are perhaps

tempted to

give up on friendships.

It's too difficult,

it's too demanding,

it's too disappointing.

But again,

as we are reminded

at the beginning

of Genesis

that we are made

for friendship,

we are made

for others.

So,

let's keep pursuing

those friendships

that God gives to us,

even when it's

difficult for us.

So,

we've seen

that in the Garden

of Eden,

we were made

for friendship,

but in that same garden,

friendships were lost.

Now,

let's now turn back

to Matthew 26,

page 997.

because it's important

for us to remember

that Jesus came

to save

and to restore.

And here we find

Jesus

in the Garden

of Gethsemane

and we have

a reminder here

that we are saved

for friendship.

So,

the context

for this passage

that we read,

chapter 26,

verse 36,

this is the night

of Jesus'

betrayal,

of his arrest,

where there will be

all sorts of

injustice

against Jesus

until the next day

when he will die

on the cross.

Two things

to look at

in the Garden

here as it relates

to friendship.

First of all,

Jesus,

the perfect man,

needed

friendships.

We see that

in this passage.

Verse 36,

Jesus went

with his disciples,

his twelve,

well now,

his eleven friends

to a place

called Gethsemane

and he said

to them,

sit here

while I go

over there

and pray.

Jesus wanted

his friends

with him

in this

moment.

He took

Peter and the

two sons

of Zebedee

along with him

and he began

to be sorrowful

and troubled.

Then he said

to them,

my soul

is overwhelmed

with sorrow

to the point

of death.

Stay here

and keep

watch

with me.

So here is

Jesus in

anguish

of the soul,

a sorrow

so intense

that he feels

like it's

almost killing

him and he

takes his

close friends

to be with

him.

He values

their support

and their

prayers.

He wants

them to

keep watch

and to

pray

with him.

And so we

see Jesus

in this

moment

leaning on

the friendship

of his

disciples.

But we

also see

where else

Jesus

turns.

Verse 39,

going a little

further,

he fell

with his

face to

the ground

and prayed,

my

father,

if it is

possible,

may this

cup be

taken from

me,

yet not as

I will,

but as

you will.

So again,

here is

Jesus feeling

a sorrow

that almost

kills him.

What does

he do?

he turns

to pray.

He wants,

he needs

to enjoy

the eternal

love of

God the

father.

He finds

strength from

that eternal

loving

communion

he has

with his

father.

And when you

read the

gospels,

you discover

that this is

a feature

of Jesus'

life and

ministry.

We find

Jesus often

spending time

alone with

God the

father in

prayer.

We also

find Jesus

praying with

his disciples

to God

the father

and we

see Jesus

living life,

sharing life

with his

friends.

Jesus,

the perfect

man,

is a

return to

the perfection

of Eden.

Perfect

relationships

with people

and a

perfect

relationship

with God.

And so

he becomes

a model

to us

of the

two kinds

of relationships,

the friendships

that we

are to

pursue.

So Jesus,

the perfect

man,

needed

friendship,

but Jesus

also comes

as Savior

in order

to restore

friendship.

What causes

Jesus such

sorrow

at this

moment?

What is it

that causes

him to ask

in verse

39,

if it's

possible,

may this

cup be

taken from

me?

I think

we need to

understand that

it's not

just the

fact of

death,

but it's

the kind

of death

Jesus is

about to

endure that

causes him

this

soul

sorrow.

He talks

about a

cup,

the cup

that he

wants to

be taken

from him.

What does

that mean?

Well,

in the

Old Testament

we find

the cup,

it is used

as a

symbol

of God's

judgment

against sin.

For those

people who

rebel and

reject and

resist God

and his

purposes,

there is a

day coming

when they

will drink

the cup

of God's

just anger

against sin.

And now

we find

Jesus,

and he

is going

to drink

this cup,

the perfect

sinless

Son of

God.

It is

about to

take

to

himself

the

just

anger

of God

against

sin as

he becomes

the sin

bearer

of the

world.

Here

is Jesus

facing

death

as a

sacrificial

lamb,

the one

who came

to turn

God's

anger

away from

his people

and he

will do

so alone.

And so

he asks,

is there

any other

way?

Is there

any way

that I

can avoid

the agony

of losing

the joy

of the

presence

of my

Father

in heaven?

Because when

Jesus becomes

the sin

bearer,

he feels

abandoned

by his

Father.

Jesus

feels

alone

as he

dies

on the

cross.

And he's

doing that

so that we

might be

welcomed

as friends,

so that we

might be

forgiven

and reconciled

and become

friends of

God.

But this

is something

that is

hard.

It causes

him sorrow

in his

soul.

But yet

he prays,

yet not

as I

will,

but as

you will.

He is

willing to

submit to

the Father's

good plan

because he

knows there

is no

other way

for us

to enjoy

friendship

with God.

Something

must be

done

about our

sin.

The penalty

must be

paid and

Jesus comes

to pay

that penalty

so that

we can

enjoy

once again

friendship

with God.

Now as

we think

about this

section,

as we

think about

what Jesus

does all

through his

life, but

especially in

his death,

I think it's

helpful for us

to think

about Jesus

as the

kind of

friend that

if we knew

them in our

life, we

would admire

them.

Jesus is the

kind of friend

that we would

want to know.

And we

would want

to be

light.

Why?

Because Jesus

was consistently

through his

life saying,

it's you

before me.

Jesus

lived a

life of

self-sacrifice.

Jesus

gave his

life as

a ransom

for sin.

Jesus

gave himself

to die

in order

to save

his friends.

The greatest

demonstration

of love we

can possibly

imagine.

And so

Jesus,

when we

examine his

life, is

the kind

of friend

that we

don't just

admire,

but we

also worship.

Because through

his self-giving

friendship, we

can know

God.

Next week,

as a church,

we will share

the Lord's

Supper

together,

and that will

remind us

of the cost

to Jesus

of our

restored

friendship

with God.

That Jesus

dies to

reconcile us,

and he does

that through

his broken

body and

through his

blood poured

out for

us.

And also,

as we sit

at the Lord's

table,

it's a reminder

that Jesus

dies to

make a

people his

family,

that we are

connected

together in

our love

for

Jesus.

So the

Bible says

to us,

we are

made for

friendship.

And Jesus

comes into

the world,

and he

saves us

to restore

our

friendship

with God.

And so I

hope we can

all see that

you and I,

we need

to value

deep

friendship,

meaningful

friendship.

And so maybe

as we close,

we can just

think,

well,

how can

you and I

this week,

how can I

be a good

friend to

someone else?

What time

can I carve

out in my

schedule to

invest in the

life of

someone else?

What good

questions can I

ask to take a

friendship further,

to get to know

someone's heart,

to see what

causes them joy

and sorrow

and anxiety

and hope?

Maybe it's a

very basic

case of looking

around and

thinking,

I need a

friend and

asking someone,

would you like

to have coffee?

Would you like

to go for a

walk?

Would you like

to spend

some time

together?

Because we

need one

another.

But more

than that,

will we

enjoy and

celebrate being

a friend of

God through

Jesus this

week?

Will we make

time to enjoy

that friendship,

to spend time

reading God's

word and

praying and

worshiping because

of what He's

done for us?

Because of

what He's

done for us.