My Heart and the Desires of My Heart

Father, we confess before you that on one hand, Father,

we are to use the best of our mind and the best of our heart

and the best of our will to understand your word.

But Father, we confess before you that that is never enough,

that we are dependent upon you to help us to understand your word.

So Father, we ask that you would gently but deeply pour out your Holy Spirit upon us.

Pour out your Holy Spirit upon us.

Touch us at our heart and incline our heart towards your word.

May you write your word on our hearts,

that our hearts through faith in Jesus may be made new and bring you glory.

Father, pour out your Holy Spirit upon us so that your word might enter deep within.

And all this we ask in the name of Jesus, your Son and our Savior. Amen.

Please be seated.

So, imagine, this has probably happened to some of you.

I'm not going to ask for a show of hands or something like this.

But imagine that you're a woman that you love or a man that you love

and you've dated maybe for a while and then the relationship breaks up

and you're very sad, you're heartbroken over it.

But your brokenheartedness over it continues on for months and months.

And so I come to talk to you.

You decide somebody tells you, oh, you should go talk to the pastor about this,

you know, since you've been so unhappy for so many months.

And I sit down with you and I say, well, you know,

Jesus loves you and he died for you on the cross.

Now, if that was the heart of my counseling to you,

do you think I, would you go back afterwards and say to your friends,

gosh, the pastor is such a great counselor.

He just said the exact thing that I needed to hear,

that Jesus loves me and he died for me on the cross.

Many of you, you might not say that the pastor,

that I had done a bad job counseling,

but you probably, many of us would probably not feel that that was very helpful

to the sadness and the sorrow we feel.

If one of us has maybe not got a promotion that we desperately wanted

or a particular job that we really wanted

and months later we're still feeling heartbroken

over the fact that we didn't get the job or we didn't get the promotion,

for a friend to say to you, well, you know, Jesus loves you.

He died on the cross for you.

It probably wouldn't feel like enough.

In fact, many of us, whether we would want to say it or not,

would say to ourselves,

what does it matter that Jesus died on the cross for me

if person X doesn't love me?

What does it matter that Jesus loves me and died on the cross for me

when I can't have that job that I so desperately wanted?

We might not entirely put that into words,

but that's often what our heart is saying

when we continue on in sadness

in the face of a particular loss.

It just doesn't seem enough that Jesus died on the cross for us

and it wouldn't seem very helpful

if somebody reminded us of that.

So why is that?

Why is that?

I'm not having you all come here today

so that you'll feel terribly guilty about yourselves,

but what does that say about us

that that would be the case?

And in fact, actually, you know, to be really honest,

if you came to me for counseling

and the heart of my counseling

is that Jesus died for you on the cross

and he loves you and that's sufficient,

and you went back and told your Christian friends

that that's what the pastor would say,

they'd all say you should get a better counselor.

Like that's what most of us would probably say

because most of us actually don't think that's sufficient.

So why is that?

So today we're going to look at a series of proverbs

that talk about the human heart

that help us to understand how our heart works

and how it doesn't work

and how it is that we respond to different things

and even why we persist in sadness and sorrow.

So Andrew, if you could put the first one up,

that would be great.

And we're going to say it together in a moment.

It's Proverbs 14.10 is the first one.

And just, you know, normally,

those of you who are familiar with my preaching style,

usually I have points

and today I don't have any points.

My hope is that one or more of these proverbs

will be the point.

They're all short

and that they might be something

that you would want to meditate upon more later on.

But could you say this proverb with me?

Proverbs 14.10.

The heart knows its own bitterness

and no stranger shares its joy.

Let's say it again.

The heart knows its own bitterness

and no stranger shares its joy.

I mean, this is a beautiful proverb, isn't it?

It's really beautiful.

It communicates to us that human beings are deep.

Doesn't it really?

I mean, it's funny.

And this isn't,

Louise would say this of me

and I would say this of Louise.

Louise and I will have been married 34 years in October.

But there's still lots about Louise that I don't understand,

that I don't know.

She'd say there's lots more about me

that she doesn't understand or doesn't know.

I mean, on one hand,

the current fascination in marriage patterns

and romance is that we look for soulmates.

And part of the tragedy of that

is that, in fact,

on one hand,

we never really find a soulmate

because,

at least in the way that it's often talked about

in the popular culture,

because there's a depth to people

that we just never plumb the depths of,

even after we've been married

for a very, very long time.

And, in fact,

actually often if we think

that we have plumbed the depth of the other person,

that's probably a sign

that we've stopped caring about them very much.

But we don't actually ever really plumb the depths

of another person.

And that's why this proverb is just so true, isn't it?

The heart knows its own bitterness

and no stranger shares its joy.

There's a,

you know,

we can have some sense of the bitterness

that another person's experiencing

and some sense of their joy,

but on one hand,

there really is a certain degree of truth

to the fact that we are alone and separate.

And our depths mean that no other person

will ever really be able to plumb the depths

of who we are.

And sometimes that leads us

to actually maybe even feel depressed

and despairing

that people don't understand who we are.

And then no stranger can share that.

It really tells us.

But you know what?

At the same time,

there's a bit of a mystery here in this text.

Why is it

that often,

like maybe it'll be afterwards at coffee,

you'll meet somebody

that you've never met before

and you'll talk to them for 15 minutes.

And why is it that we'll walk away from a person

after talking to them for 15 minutes

and feel we really understand them?

Yet at the same time,

if we're honest about ourselves,

we've lived with ourselves all our lives

and we don't understand ourselves.

Like,

why is that?

And on one hand,

of course,

we can have a bit of it,

really,

you know,

get a sense of a person.

Yet on the other hand,

there really always is

a something more,

a deeperness to that person

that we can start to try to understand

or fathom

and never reach the end of.

Let's read another proverb,

Proverbs 14, 13.

Please say it with me.

Even in laughter,

the heart may ache

and the end of joy may be grief.

Let's say that together again.

Even in laughter,

the heart may ache

and the end of joy may be grief.

You know,

isn't this also really,

really,

really true?

In fact,

actually,

it's even more powerfully put

in the Hebrew

where it says

the end of joy

is grief.

It's even more powerful.

But, you know,

here,

think about this for a second.

Why is it that

once we say something like that,

most of us know

that this is actually

a very good description

of human experience?

Like,

why is it that so often

that even while we're laughing

that there's also

maybe underneath that,

very,

very closely

underneath the laughter

is a sense of sadness

and grief

over other types of things?

And why is it

that we often have a sense

that when we're having

a time of great joy

or great success

that many of us think

that it won't last?

We might hope

that it will last

for quite a while,

but we always have

this bit of a sense

that it won't last.

And why is it

that on one hand

that, you know,

we,

why is it that

we always would choose

if we,

I mean,

obviously some people

snatch sadness

from the jaws of grief,

sadness from the jaws

of joy

and do things

to make their lives

miserable,

but why is it

that we have some sense

that joy

is natural,

that we were made

for joy,

and that grief

is unnatural,

and yet both of them

are things

that we experience

in the natural world,

but why is it

that we have a sense

that joy

is more fundamental

or foundational,

that,

that that's more

what we were made for?

Like,

why is that?

Why don't we think

that sorrow

is what we were made for?

Why is it

that we don't think

that sadness

is what we were made for?

Why do,

why do we experience

joy and sadness

as being unnatural,

I mean,

sadness and grief

and sorrow

as sort of,

in some ways,

unnatural,

but joy is natural?

Why is it

that that's sort of

a common human experience?

Why not the reverse?

And,

and why is it

that on one hand

we are never surprised

when we go into

a period of sadness?

I mean,

on one hand

we are,

we are,

and we're,

we're bitter about it

and we might even

rage about it,

but on the other hand,

you know,

if a person told you

that they only

experience joy

and they never

experience sorrow,

would you believe them?

Never?

Like,

you mean like

never in the last

two minutes?

Yeah,

that's fine.

Like never in the last,

you know,

if the person's

50 years old,

like never in the past

30 years,

40 years,

you've never experienced

any emotion

other than joy?

Why is it

that so many

Christian churches

present that the model

of what it means

to be fully human

is to always feel joy?

I was just

at a church recently

and that's,

in a sense,

part of the message

of the sermon

and I was thinking,

well,

Jesus cried

at the tomb

of Lazarus.

He wept tears

in the garden

of Gethsemane.

But why is it

that we,

why is it

that we do that?

Yet at the same time,

we recognize

that this proverb

is very true.

Even in laughter,

the heart may ache

and the end of joy

may be grief.

Put up the next one,

Andrew.

Can you say this with me?

Hope deferred

makes the heart sick,

but a desire fulfilled

is a tree of life.

Let's say that together again.

Hope deferred

makes the heart sick,

but a desire fulfilled

is a tree of life.

This is a very commonplace

type of proverb,

isn't it?

It's a sort of proverb

that you could well imagine

seeing in a greeting card

that Oprah would like,

Maya Angelou would like,

that it almost seems

like it's just too common

to even talk about

or comment.

In the original language

that hope,

even the word

which we translate

as hope,

which is a good word,

but there's this

underlying current

in the original language

of anxiety

connected with it.

So it's as if,

you know,

you're hoping

but you're anxious

at the same time.

We've all had that experience.

We're hoping

but we're anxious.

And, you know,

maybe we're waiting

for somebody to come home

or we're waiting

for news

of what's going to happen

with a promotion

or something like that

or what's happening

to one of our kids

or our best friend.

And on the one hand

we're hoping

but on the other hand

we're anxious

and the longer

that it takes

for us to hear

what's happened,

the more heart sick

that we feel.

But a desire fulfilled

is a tree of life.

And this actually,

it just, you know,

it fits in with so much

of how our culture

would talk about things.

I mean, it's a very common thing

in our culture

that if I would,

in fact, Christians often say this

to each other,

follow your heart.

Follow your heart.

We'll say to people,

trust your heart.

You know,

because a hope deferred,

you know,

that you trust your hope

and when you get your hopes

it's like a tree of life.

And we'll often say to each other,

you're thinking too much,

trust your heart.

And in fact,

actually when we say things

like you're thinking too much,

trust your heart,

it's on one hand,

it's a little tiny bit

of an opening

into what the Bible means

by heart.

But just so you know right now,

probably every single one of us

to some extent here

doesn't hear heart

the way it's intended.

In our culture,

we sort of pit the mind

and thinking

against the heart

and feelings

and emotions.

And in the Bible,

especially in the Old Testament,

the heart

is the source

of our feelings,

the source of our plans,

the source

of our thinking.

In fact,

if you were to go back

in time

to the writer of Proverbs

and say,

you're thinking too much,

trust your heart,

they would look at you

blankly.

You're using your heart

too much,

trust your heart,

like it would be

a contradiction.

Because thinking,

planning,

feeling,

longing,

desiring,

hoping,

all of them come

just from the singular

thing called the heart

into the Old Testament.

So on one hand,

though,

when we say,

you're thinking too much,

trust your heart,

on one hand,

we're really thinking

primarily of emotions,

but we go a little bit

beyond it.

And we're thinking

of maybe the heart

as touching something

more than just emotions.

But here's the problem

with this proverb.

Can we say it again?

Hope deferred

makes the heart sick,

but a desire fulfilled

is a tree of life.

Here's the problem

with this.

How many times

have we hoped for evil?

And when our hope

for evil

isn't bearing fruition,

we feel depressed.

I don't know

if it's a true statistic.

I guess you've heard,

I think it's just

this past week,

that the Ashley Madison

website,

which is,

I've been told,

is a website

that you go to

if you want to have

an affair

with a married person.

And they facilitate

people having affairs

with married people.

And I,

it was on a blog,

so it must be true.

Okay?

But I,

somebody sent me

a blog link,

so it must be true,

that said that

the city of Ottawa

has the highest proportion

but per capita

of people

who subscribe

to Ashley Madison

than anywhere

in North America.

I don't know

if it's true,

but it was in a blog.

And,

and I guess

there's a lot

of nervous people

that if these

hacktivists

have in fact

successfully hacked

the list

that they might

make it public

and many people

in Ottawa

might discover

that they,

they've in fact

registered for this.

But,

you know,

think about this

for a second.

How many people

who are married

desire to have

an affair

and they long

to have an affair

with another person

and their heart

is sick

because it's not

happening?

And,

how many people

once they've had

the affair

at least momentarily

will feel like

they've had

an eruption of life

in their life?

Is that what the

Bible's teaching?

See,

one of the problems

with trust your heart,

you're thinking too much,

is it implies

that the heart

only desires

good things.

I mean,

if you think

of many movies

and television series,

a lot of what

goes on,

and I just watched

The Drop

last night,

and partly

what goes on

is that the sadness

of one of the characters

and the worry

of one of the characters

because he's worried

that his desire

to rob people

isn't going to happen

the way he wants.

And,

you know,

and you could well imagine

that he thinks

at least,

and probably he would

experience,

great emotions

of excitement

and joy

if he is successful

in stealing

a million dollars.

others.

So,

here's the thing

about these proverbs.

On one hand,

many of them

seem to have

something which is

true about them,

but if you actually

ask sort of

deeper questions

about them,

you start to realize

that there's actually

truth and

something else

going on in him.

If you could,

Andrew,

if you could put up

the next proverb,

let's read the next

proverb together.

read it with me.

When a man's

folly brings

his way to ruin,

his heart

rages against

the Lord.

Isn't that a great

proverb?

Let's say it again.

When a man's

folly brings

his way to ruin,

his heart

rages against

the Lord.

Isn't that true?

Like,

haven't,

don't,

maybe it's never

happened to you,

but have you ever

been angry

because you've

had a plan

to do something

bad and it

backfires

and you're

angry?

And sometimes

people are even

angry at God

over it.

And they'll be

angry at like,

why is God,

why is this

happening to me?

Just this week

in a coffee shop,

I had a

conversation

with a guy,

no surprise,

I have conversations

with non-Christians

in coffee shops

and this

is a fellow

who,

part of his

conversation with

me is always

that Christians

are bad

and unhelpful

because they have

a bad view

of human beings,

that we think

that human beings

are sort of,

you know,

that we don't

understand that

human beings

are sort of good.

But he came

to me,

he had a picture

in the paper

of that,

I think it was

in Turkey

where there was

a suicide bomber

and it killed,

I think it was

a Shiite mosque

and I think

it was ISIS

or ISIL

and they did

this attack

and they killed

many, many people

at a mosque

and so my friend

brings the newspaper

over to me

and he points

at it and says,

and you say

that human beings

are made

in the image

of God

and yet human beings

made in the image

of God

do things like this.

and he was angry

at God,

angry at religion.

I just listened

but inwardly

I thought to myself,

you're the one

who thinks

that people

are basically good.

Like,

how do you square

that circle?

But it wasn't

the time to say it

because he was

just angry

and raging

at God

and sometimes

when people

are angry

and raging

at God

all you can do

is pray for them.

there's not much

you can say to them

but the fact

of the matter

is that even

Christians

rage at God

and get angry

at God.

Can we go back

to Proverbs 13,

12, Andrew?

So just thinking

that last proverb

that sometimes

our hearts

rage against God

and you could

almost picture

that when our hearts

are raging

against God

if there was

some way

that we could

hit him

if there was

some way

that we could

hurt him

it would

make us

glad.

Or maybe

I'm just

far more

evil

than every

person here.

Can we say

this together

again?

Hope deferred

makes the

heart sick

but a desire

fulfilled

is a tree

of life.

So

here's

partly

how we

have to

understand

this proverb.

You'll see

and I'm going

to show you

again in another

couple of minutes

that's going

to be the

very very

next

I think

it's the

next proverb

that we're

going to look

at.

I have to

look at

my list

I think

it's not

quite the

next proverb

but we're

going to

get to it

very shortly

is we

have to

when we read

the book

of Proverbs

the book

of Proverbs

never believes

that our

hearts are

pure and

only desire

good things.

But what it

is trying to

communicate to

us is a

very very

different model

of how human

beings function.

We sort of

operate in our

culture with

several different

ways of how

human beings

function.

a lot of

us function

that it's

just will

that we

just use

our will

power to

do what

we want

to accomplish

and sort

of complicated

with that

is that

there's

actually on

the same

side a

flip side

a sense

that human

beings are

very very

passive.

Like just

to give a

Christian

example

if you've

ever read

the book

The Five

Love Languages

which has

lots of

good practical

insights

but one

worrisome

thing about

that is

I was joking

with my

wife last

night when I

was talking

to her about

the sermon

I was saying

you know I

could very

easily say

that the

reason I'm

not loving

you enough

is because

you're not

filling up

my love

tank enough

and if you

just started

filling up

my love

tank more

in love

language that

I can hear

that I would

love you

more

and there's

a certain

other psychological

model of

the sense that

a heart is

passive somehow

that we're

passive and

it's because

of race

it's because

of social

class

it's because

of economic

things

it's because

we were

victims

it's because

our love

language

our love

tank isn't

being filled

up

and so

on one

hand in

our culture

we have

this almost

schizophrenic

type of

approach

where on

one hand

we can be

very very

passive

and on the

other hand

it's all

just about

our willpower

and the

Bible

the book

of Proverbs

presents

another

different

sense

here

and it's

partly how

we're to

understand

this text

as being

actually

very very

profound

it describes

that the

human heart

is always

hoping

and trusting

the human

heart

the center

of who we

are

where we

that part

of us

in a sense

the command

center

of the

human being

out of

which flows

our emotions

our thoughts

our plans

our desires

all of that

out of which

flows our

life

that the

human heart

is always

hoping

and trusting

in something

that in fact

it's never

right to say

will I hope

or trust

but the

book of

Proverbs

would say

that the

question is

not will

I

will my

heart

hope

and trust

in something

the question

is always

what is

my heart

hoping

and trusting

in

excuse me

in fact

you know

here's a

very important

application

of this

one of the

things that we

can really

ask ourselves

as Christians

I mean

non-Christians

can do this

as well

because this

is not

describing

Christian

experience

Proverbs

is trying

to describe

a particular

way of us

understanding

that my

heart

is trusting

in something

has in a

sense

loves

that it

trusts in

and in

light of

what I

put my

hope in

and trust

in

in light

of this

my life

flows out

of it

and in

light of

what I

hope and

trust in

certain

thoughts

seem

reasonable

in light

of what I

hope and

trust in

certain

things will

make me

happy

and certain

things will

make me

sad

in light

of what I

trust and

hope in

plans will

seem reasonable

wise

or foolish

in light

of what I

hope or

trust in

and every

human being

every one

of us

every person

we see

our hearts

the center

of who we

are is

putting its

trust and

its hope

in certain

things or

persons

so one of

the questions

we can ask

ourselves

in the face

of emotion

especially

persistent

emotion or

persistent

sin

a lot

of

Christian

literature

about

dealing

with

persistent

sin

is

basically

replicating

a

willpower

model

from the

world

or a

passive

model

from the

world

but the

question we

should ask

ourselves

in the face

of persistent

sin

if a man

is persistently

going after

pornography

if a person

is persistently

going after

lies

is what

is it

that I

am putting

my hope

and trust

in

that makes

this behavior

necessary

for me

so that my

heart is

sick if I

cannot have

it and I

will feel

at least

temporary joy

if I

attain it

is to

call out

to God

or to

help ask

him to

help you

to understand

what is

it that

my heart

sees as

a treasure

so that

my mind

and my

behavior

and my

life moves

in certain

patterns

and habits

you see

I might

not say

that much

more about

this

and I

have to

be careful

of my

time

but you

see

part of

and I

am not

mindful of

Jesus

who is

fully human

and he

experienced

sorrow

and this

isn't a

model that

we never

experience

sorrow

because

it is

appropriate

to feel

sorrow

sorrow

the book

of

Jesus

and the

Sermon

on the

Mount

says

it is

appropriate

to feel

sorrow

but if

if I

am

acting

let's

say

if I

say

to myself

what does

it matter

that there is

80 people

at church

here today

I am

broken hearted

because there is

not 300

and I am

persistently

broken hearted

that there is

not 300

then

what

and if

somebody

says to

me

George

you know

Jesus

has died

for you

he loves

you

he gave

himself

for you

he is

fitting you

for heaven

nothing

can separate

you from

the love

of God

and if

inwardly

I say

what does

that matter

if I don't

have 300

people coming

to church

on a

Sunday

then

what I'm

saying

is that

I have

something

that I

value

and that

I trust

and that

I hope

in

that's

far more

important

than what

than God

than what

Jesus

has done

for me

that my

true

treasure

might be

a particular

view of

my success

or a particular

view of

my power

or my

reputation

that that's

actually what

I put my

hope and my

trust in

and that's

I might say

on Sunday

morning

oh Jesus

loves me

you know

this I know

for the Bible

tells me so

but functionally

as I go

through my

day I have

another treasure

which is more

important

and probably

others

and so one

important application

of all of this

is to understand

that the heart

the center

of who we are

the way it

functions

is always

to desire

to hope

to trust

to love

and out

of that

flows my

life

and your

life

and so

that in the

face of

emotions

in the face

of what's

going on

it's not

that we

of course

I'm not

saying never

use willpower

but what I

am saying

is that

sometimes

what we

need to

do is

in fact

ask

God

to make

clear to

us

what in

fact

is my

treasure

and my

hope

that to

not have

it I'm

feeling

sad

or

that I

feel joy

at pursuing

bad

things

but

here's

the problem

so

that means

a very

very good

application

some important

application

but there's

going to be

problems

with it

I mean

it's a

direction

to go

but it's

not a

foolproof

technique

and part

of the

problem

is

remember

those

earlier

proverbs

that I

gave you

about the

depths

of human

beings

and why

is it

that we

can meet

somebody

and 15

minutes

have a

sense

that we

really

know

them

but yet

we can

live

with

ourselves

our

whole

lives

and

don't

really

know

us

put up

the next

proverb

please

Andrew

Proverbs

27

19

do you

like to

read that

with me

please

as

in

water

face

reflects

face

so

the

heart

of

man

reflects

the

man

like

on

one

hand

this

is

actually

really

true

isn't

it

but

you

know

on

the

other

hand

if you

think

about

it

you

can

look

if you

have

very

still

water

I

mean

now

we

could

use

mirror

because

they

didn't

really

have

mirrors

like

we

do

back

then

not

as

perfect

not

as

good

as

we

do

you

can

look

at

your

face

and

you

can

see

your

face

you

might

not

like

what

you

see

but

you

can

see

it

and

on

one

hand

it

really

is

the

case

that

if

you

get

to

know

a

person's

heart

you're

getting

to

know

that

person

and

to

look

into

our

heart

is

a

way

to

come

to

a

certain

degree

of

self

knowledge

but

isn't

it

true

that

we

can

never

actually

know

that

that's

in

fact

what

happens

like

isn't

there

in

a

sense

where

as

on

one

hand

it's

really

important

to

try

to

get

out

of

this

model

of

either

being

passive

or

all

willpower

and

ask

ourselves

what

our

hopes

are

but

at

the

same

time

there's

a

mystery

about

ourselves

we

don't

see

and

understand

about

ourselves

there's

a

limit

to

where

by

merely

by

seeking

and

understanding

our

own

heart

that

we

can

understand

who

we

are

there's

a

limit

to

that

that's

what

those

other

proverbs

that we

thought

were so

wise

are telling

us

when we

read

this

one

see

that's

why

the

book

of

proverbs

it's

designed

for us

to try

to

one of

my

earlier

blogs

I

said

we

read

the

book

of

proverbs

with

amnesia

we

read

a

proverb

and

then

we

read

another

proverb

and

we

don't

realize

that

the

two

proverbs

should

go

together

to

try

to

understand

it

and

if

we're

saying

yeah

that's

true

human beings

are really

deep

we can't

understand

them

and

then

the

next

start

when we

say

we

only

understand

ourselves

we have

to

understand

ourselves

how does

that

go with that

other

proverb

Andrew

could you

put the

next

proverb

up

28

26

do you

want to

say

this

with

me

please

whoever

trusts

in his

own

heart

is a

fool

if

earlier

on

I

said

that

the

Bible

is

going

to

tell

you

things

that

our

culture

says

trust

your

heart

and

the

Bible

says

that

that's

a

foolish

thing

well