Sermon

The Power and Destruction of our Words

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  1. Research has shown that for the average person, not for the extremely talkative person or the extremely shy person,

  2. but the average human being will spend one-fifth of their life talking.

  3. I don't mean one-fifth of life in conversation where you're both talking and listening,

  4. but a fifth of your life is speaking words, whether that's with your mouth or tweeting, texting.

  5. But we're communicating a fifth of our life.

  6. That is, again, researchers, they say, I don't know where they get all this stuff,

  7. but they found that in one year of our life, we will say enough words that it would fill 120, 200-page books of words, just your words.

  8. Which, if you live to be 73 years old and you learn to speak when you were three,

  9. that would mean you'd have said enough words in your life for more than 9,000 books of just you.

  10. And if words are such a part of the human experience of our lives,

  11. it makes sense to us that God has some things to say about how we should speak.

  12. And truly, he does.

  13. This summer, we're spending this whole summer through Proverbs.

  14. We've called it Proverbs, Ancient Wisdom for Postmodern World.

  15. And you'll find that in the book of Proverbs, there's all these various verses,

  16. these pithy sayings that are God's word,

  17. but in each chapter, it deals with a whole bunch of different issues.

  18. But there's this thread you can bring between the various chapters of the various themes that the various chapters address.

  19. And so, instead of doing what we normally do here at Church of the Messiah,

  20. going through a passage and unpacking it from the Bible,

  21. we're going through themes in Proverbs and picking these verses that speak to the same issue throughout the book of Proverbs.

  22. And so, to keep you from having to flip through your Bible back and forth and losing yourself along the way,

  23. we have this insert in your bulletin, and you can follow along.

  24. The verses that I speak from are going to be from here.

  25. They're all from the book of Proverbs.

  26. It would be really helpful for me if you can pull this out now as we dig into this.

  27. The Bible has a lot to say about the words that we speak.

  28. Proverbs 10, verse 11 says,

    Proverbs 10:11

  29. The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.

  30. And at the bottom, on the other side of your insert, you'll see Proverbs 18, verse 21 says,

    Proverbs 18:21

  31. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.

  32. The words that the scriptures have to say about words can seem so intense that it almost can seem exaggerated,

  33. especially when, as little kids, we may have said, when someone says something mean to us,

  34. the famous saying, Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words may never harm me.

  35. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words may never harm me.

  36. That's one of the most ridiculous things a young child has taught,

  37. because words can have such devastation and have such potential for life.

  38. If you think about it, all that you understand about who you are, the good, the bad,

  39. all that you perceive yourself, last week we talked about how we see ourselves

  40. as we looked at pride and humility, all that we understand about who we are

  41. and in relation to other people and to God, and all of that has been shaped by words.

  42. We understand about our calling, our purpose, our value, all that stuff is by words.

  43. Words shape our lives. Words can also destroy our lives.

  44. I mean, any more evidence of this you can see in the amount of news stories

  45. that have come out in the past few years of young people who have taken their lives,

  46. who have committed suicide because of the relentless bullying.

  47. The bullying was not, normally it was not physical abuse, it was just words.

  48. Words that cut deep. Words that shape us.

  49. And so what we see from the book of Proverbs is that part of what it means to live life

  50. the way God made us to live, to live life the way we were designed to as human beings,

  51. is to be people who use our words with wisdom in righteousness for the glory of God.

  52. Now there's a number of different ways that we can misuse our words,

  53. and three of them, which I heard recently in a pastor's preaching on a similar theme,

  54. actually the exact same theme, I was visiting a church in Toronto,

  55. and he defined, he chalked these three different categories Proverbs deal with

  56. as jabber, lies, and gossip.

  57. And I'm going to borrow the same themes from him.

  58. We're looking today at jabber, lies, and gossip.

  59. So starting with jabber, again, this is the first page of the insert you have.

  60. Jabber is defined as those extra careless words, empty words,

  61. that we don't need to speak, that we speak anyways.

  62. And here's what Proverbs has to say about that.

  63. And this is only a small selection of what the book of Proverbs speaks to regarding jabber.

  64. Proverbs 13, verse 3.

    Proverbs 13:3

  65. Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life.

  66. He who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.

  67. The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer,

  68. but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.

  69. And these two verses are addressing not someone speaking filthy words

  70. that would harm people with the content of the words,

  71. but rather it has to do with this image of someone who is just careless with his words,

  72. who speaks a lot.

  73. I don't know if you can see because of the light shining on my face,

  74. but I'm blushing right now because this is one of the many things that I really struggle with.

  75. I told my roommates that I was speaking on this today,

  76. and their response was to laugh heartily, somewhat deridingly,

  77. as they joined me in amusement at, and in my case,

  78. just embarrassment for how I could speak about this.

  79. Because I have been a man who I would define as someone

  80. who has let his lips just open wide.

  81. And what the scriptures are showing us here,

  82. and it was kind of miserable preparing this sermon because,

  83. again, there's a lot more verses than the few that I've chosen for you today,

  84. but in Proverbs again and again and again,

  85. it tells us that even if you're someone who's not putting people down,

  86. even if you're someone who's not speaking death into people's lives,

  87. if you're someone who has no restraint over your lips,

  88. and you just speak,

  89. then you are someone who's going to come to ruin for yourself

  90. and also harm others.

  91. It's not okay.

  92. Now, as we look at this,

  93. I've heard a number of sermons on words and speech throughout my life,

  94. and the way that I often hear it spoken of,

  95. and it's partly because James in the New Testament

  96. speaks about how it's just about impossible to tame the tongue,

  97. to change the way we speak.

  98. And so the way I often hear words preached about is,

  99. here is God's holy standard for words,

  100. and you and I are going to fail at that standard,

  101. therefore we need a Savior.

  102. That's why Jesus died, and then end of sermon.

  103. But the Scriptures, though, it does teach us that,

  104. that we won't obtain the holy standard,

  105. the perfect standard God has for us.

  106. The Scriptures don't simply teach us that we're always going to fail.

  107. The Scriptures also speak into our lives as to how we can actually change,

  108. as how we can actually have our words be words that bring life and only life.

  109. We're not going to be perfect at it.

  110. We'll always need a Savior,

  111. but the Savior not only saves us from the consequences of our sin,

  112. He also saves us from sinning itself.

  113. And so as we continue to live the Christian life and look to God in His Word,

  114. we're actually able to find hope and help to change.

  115. And I'd illustrate that by saying,

  116. if your house is covered in spiderwebs,

  117. you have two options.

  118. You can either always be trying to get rid of spiderwebs,

  119. which is what I've spent the last few decades of my life,

  120. just trying to deal with words and always failing,

  121. because there's always more spiderwebs,

  122. or you can go and get rid of the spiders.

  123. And as you get rid of the spiders,

  124. you can then get rid of the spiderwebs,

  125. and the spiderwebs are gone forever.

  126. I hope you didn't get lost in that.

  127. What I'm trying to say is,

  128. if you find, like me,

  129. that you are ashamed of your words,

  130. but you try and try,

  131. and you can't get rid of your foolish words,

  132. we're going to look at,

  133. how do we actually deal with the things

  134. that are driving those foolish words,

  135. or those lying words,

  136. whatever those words you're struggling with,

  137. what are the things that are driving that?

  138. And as we deal with that,

  139. we'll find actual help to change.

  140. In the Gospel of Luke 6, verse 45,

    Luke 6:45

  141. Jesus says,

  142. out of the abundance of the heart,

  143. the mouth speaks.

  144. And so in order for us to change our words,

  145. we need to change our heart.

  146. We need to change the stuff that's in our heart,

  147. and in that we'll find hope.

  148. So we'll continue.

  149. Proverbs 17, verse 27, 28,

    Proverbs 17:27

  150. whoever restrains his words has knowledge,

  151. and he who has a cool spirit

  152. is a man of understanding.

  153. Even a fool who keeps silent

  154. is considered wise.

  155. When he closes his lips,

  156. he is deemed intelligent.

  157. Proverbs 29, verse 20,

    Proverbs 29:20

  158. do you see a man who is hasty in his words?

  159. There is more hope for a fool than for him.

  160. Now as we read through these,

  161. and we're seeing in this,

  162. as Proverbs are speaking into

  163. how devastating it is

  164. for someone to just let their words run wild,

  165. sometimes we'll feel guilt about this type of thing,

  166. conviction from God.

  167. There's other times,

  168. at least a lot of my life,

  169. although I'll have a brief moment

  170. of feeling some shame

  171. over how careless I am with my words,

  172. and I just speak so many words.

  173. Other times,

  174. I don't feel any conviction over this.

  175. And I think some of you in the room

  176. could probably relate to me,

  177. that there are certain things

  178. that you read about

  179. how devastating it is

  180. to just let the open wide your lips,

  181. and you're like,

  182. really?

  183. In my life,

  184. I use a lot of words,

  185. and there's a number of my friends

  186. who think it's really funny,

  187. and that's part of why

  188. they think I'm a funny person

  189. because of this.

  190. It can actually,

  191. I'm sure some of my friends

  192. think I'm ridiculous

  193. for how many words they say,

  194. but other people find it funny,

  195. and it's one of those things

  196. that isn't necessarily

  197. something you're going

  198. to feel conviction of.

  199. But what we know

  200. in Psalm 119,

    Psalms 119:9

  201. verse 9,

  202. it says,

  203. how can a young man

  204. keep his way pure?

  205. As it says that,

  206. it's not just talking about

  207. how can someone stay away

  208. from sexual impurity.

  209. It means,

  210. no,

  211. how can you walk in life

  212. the way you were made for?

  213. And it says,

  214. by guarding your way

  215. according to God's word.

  216. By guarding our way

  217. according to God's word.

  218. If we're going to base

  219. our morality

  220. morality

  221. and the way we live life,

  222. not on our own feelings

  223. of what is right and wrong,

  224. but on God's word,

  225. then we see very clearly

  226. that jabber

  227. is something that must go.

  228. So how do we change that?

  229. Well,

  230. as I did some research

  231. on why people jabber,

  232. and it's not just Bible scholars

  233. or pastors

  234. who speak about this,

  235. but you'll actually be able

  236. to find a research

  237. from other academics

  238. about why people

  239. just speak and speak and speak.

  240. And there's a few reasons

  241. that I've found.

  242. One of them is that

  243. some people speak a ton

  244. because they don't think

  245. anyone else has anything

  246. to say of value.

  247. They always think

  248. that they have the answer

  249. to everything.

  250. I was at lunch

  251. with a few people,

  252. and there was two people

  253. in particular

  254. who were just talking

  255. the entire time,

  256. whether we were talking

  257. about politics

  258. or church stuff

  259. or sports.

  260. They had every answer.

  261. And there was someone else

  262. there who was a good listener.

  263. They were asking questions,

  264. and they never got

  265. to really say anything.

  266. And it seemed to me,

  267. I'm judging them,

  268. but it seems to me

  269. that it really seems

  270. like they have such confidence

  271. that their answers

  272. are the answer

  273. that they never stopped

  274. to ask this other friend

  275. what he thought about anything

  276. because it didn't seem

  277. like they really cared

  278. what he had to say.

  279. So sometimes we find ourselves

  280. jabbering because we're arrogant.

  281. Others of us

  282. will find ourselves jabbering

  283. in times where we're,

  284. it's not that we're arrogant,

  285. we're actually really insecure,

  286. and we feel really nervous.

  287. And some of us,

  288. our default,

  289. when we're nervous,

  290. is to start speaking

  291. tons and tons of words.

  292. I do that.

  293. It's embarrassing,

  294. but I do.

  295. Others of us

  296. will find ourselves

  297. just speaking foolish words

  298. just because of lack of care.

  299. And I think that might be

  300. one of the issues with me

  301. where you're just used

  302. to just speaking

  303. because you just speak.

  304. You're not really thinking about it.

  305. In every single one

  306. of these three driving forces

  307. for why we speak

  308. so many words,

  309. the antidote to this

  310. is the fear of God.

  311. In the case of these arrogant people,

  312. they're not fearing God.

  313. They're so confident

  314. in themselves

  315. that they let their words be many.

  316. In the case of someone

  317. who's really nervous

  318. and jabbering away

  319. because they're so nervous,

  320. they're fearing people.

  321. They're afraid

  322. of what other people will think.

  323. But in both cases,

  324. as well as in the case

  325. of the one who's just careless

  326. and not thinking about life,

  327. as you turn to God

  328. and you fear God,

  329. all of a sudden,

  330. you'll find that your words

  331. begin to be less.

  332. And so, Andrew,

  333. if you could put up

  334. the first point,

  335. the heart issue

  336. we need to deal with

  337. is that through the power of God,

  338. I become free of being,

  339. I can't really,

  340. of jabbering words

  341. through cultivating a heart

  342. that fears God.

  343. Do you want to say that

  344. out loud with me,

  345. especially because I can't

  346. really see the screen?

  347. Together,

  348. through the power of God,

  349. I become free

  350. of jabbering words

  351. through cultivating a heart

  352. that fears God.

  353. The point is

  354. through the power of God

  355. because you and I can be like,

  356. okay,

  357. we're not just going to deal

  358. with the spider web

  359. of jabbering words,

  360. we're going to deal

  361. with the spider

  362. of lack of fear in God,

  363. so I'm going to really

  364. try to fear God.

  365. But if we try to do it

  366. in our own strength,

  367. we'll find ourselves failing.

  368. We get to cultivate

  369. a heart that fears God.

  370. We're able to have success

  371. in this

  372. through the power of God.

  373. And so,

  374. one of the ways we do that,

  375. obviously,

  376. is through prayer.

  377. We pray,

  378. God,

  379. help me to fear you.

  380. This isn't something

  381. I can do on my own, God.

  382. I know you deserve

  383. all the fear in the world

  384. and the holy fear,

  385. but I'm jabbering right now.

  386. What am I saying?

  387. So,

  388. the point is this,

  389. just pray for the fear of God.

  390. The second thing

  391. is you spend time

  392. in the word.

  393. You spend time thinking

  394. on the greatness

  395. and the power of God.

  396. That helps cultivate

  397. a heart that fears God

  398. as you understand

  399. who this God is

  400. that we're fearing.

  401. It's not a fear

  402. of like just being scared

  403. of him,

  404. but a fear of reverence,

  405. a fear of awe,

  406. and a concern

  407. that you care more

  408. about what he says,

  409. what he thinks,

  410. than what anyone else

  411. says or thinks.

  412. You're concerned

  413. about him

  414. and his evaluation.

  415. And as we cultivate

  416. a heart that is oriented

  417. toward God,

  418. we will find

  419. that are words

  420. that are so many

  421. become much less

  422. and that are words

  423. or words of wisdom.

  424. Now,

  425. the next theme

  426. that Proverbs speaks

  427. of regarding words

  428. is that of lies.

  429. Proverbs 12,

    Proverbs 12:19

  430. verse 19,

  431. truthful lips

  432. endure forever,

  433. but a lying tongue

  434. is but for a moment.

  435. Proverbs 12,

  436. 22,

  437. lying lips

  438. are an abomination

  439. to the Lord,

  440. but those who act

  441. faithfully

  442. are his delight.

  443. There are times

  444. where lies

  445. seem so innocent,

  446. but Proverbs 12

  447. tells us

  448. that lies

  449. are an abomination.

  450. Those white lies,

  451. we don't see that,

  452. don't trouble

  453. our conscience at all.

  454. God hates them.

  455. They're an abomination.

  456. This word is used

  457. for bringing something

  458. that is unholy

  459. into the temple

  460. and offering

  461. a blaspheming,

  462. unholy sacrifice

  463. in the temple of God.

  464. That is what words

  465. are like

  466. that are lies.

  467. Proverbs 14,

  468. 25,

  469. a truthful witness

  470. saves lives,

  471. but one who breathes

  472. out lies

  473. is deceitful.

  474. And then Proverbs 21,

    Proverbs 21:6

  475. verse 6,

  476. the getting of treasures

  477. by a lying tongue

  478. is a fleeting vapor

  479. and a snare of death.

  480. The way that I have

  481. sometimes looked at lies,

  482. and I think probably

  483. the way some of you

  484. look at lies,

  485. is that lying

  486. we often think of

  487. as something

  488. where we've said words

  489. that are not true,

  490. a fabrication.

  491. You've said something

  492. that's not true.

  493. And so the way

  494. that some of us

  495. play this game

  496. is that if we can

  497. say something

  498. that the actual words

  499. we say are not lies,

  500. then we think

  501. that we are okay

  502. on this one.

  503. And to illustrate

  504. how that looks

  505. in our lives,

  506. a few years ago,

  507. I think it was

  508. just last summer,

  509. I was with a really

  510. good friend of mine

  511. and we're going

  512. to call him Steve.

  513. And Steve and I

  514. were walking up

  515. the stairs of his house,

  516. the light was off

  517. because we just arrived,

  518. and as we get up,

  519. he was in front of me,

  520. as he gets up

  521. the top of the stairs,

  522. he put his hand

  523. on the little platform

  524. by the stairs,

  525. and we hear crash!

  526. And this beautiful,

  527. exotic vase

  528. that his wife's sister

  529. had bought for her

  530. in like turkey

  531. or something

  532. was now in pieces

  533. irreparable

  534. on the floor.

  535. This, regrettably,

  536. wasn't the only thing

  537. Steve had broken

  538. in their first

  539. seven months of marriage,

  540. so he was frustrated.

  541. He was actually horrified.

  542. No, what am I going to do?

  543. And I, being a clever chap,

  544. I'd like to think of myself,

  545. I pick up the pieces

  546. and I'm like,

  547. Steve, I got your back.

  548. Your wife is going to be

  549. so frustrated with you

  550. because you've broken

  551. a lot of stuff already

  552. and you're married to her

  553. and whatever else,

  554. but I, I'll be easily

  555. forgiven by her wife

  556. because she's like,

  557. oh, that's Daniel,

  558. whatever.

  559. So I'm going to break

  560. this again.

  561. I'm going to smash

  562. it on the floor.

  563. When she comes home,

  564. you can say,

  565. honey, the vase is broken,

  566. and she'll say,

  567. who broke it?

  568. And you can say,

  569. Daniel smashed the vase.

  570. It's a true statement.

  571. He's like,

  572. Daniel, you would do that for me?

  573. I'm like, yeah, man.

  574. Like, I'm a friend

  575. that's closer than a brother.

  576. Let's do this.

  577. So you take the thing

  578. and look at each other

  579. and then smash,

  580. I break it.

  581. I go home,

  582. and I'm like,

  583. yeah, man,

  584. I'm a good friend,

  585. and I'm a truthful friend.

  586. I'm like,

  587. this is going to be

  588. a true thing we say.

  589. So she comes home.

  590. She sees it.

  591. She's devastated.

  592. She loves the vase.

  593. It's irreplaceable.

  594. Her sister's not going back

  595. to Turkey anytime soon,

  596. and she says,

  597. who broke it?

  598. And Steve is like,

  599. I did.

  600. And then I got a text

  601. from him moments later

  602. saying,

  603. pray for me.

  604. My wife is so mad.

  605. And I was just like,

  606. man,

  607. we had a plan.

  608. It was a truthful plan.

  609. And he's just like,

  610. Daniel,

  611. you're actually,

  612. your plan that we made together

  613. was a plan of lies.

  614. I'm like,

  615. but no,

  616. I'm trying to challenge him on it.

  617. Like,

  618. it would have been

  619. a true statement.

  620. He said,

  621. no,

  622. Daniel,

  623. lying is not just fabrication.

  624. Lying is deception.

  625. Lying is deception.

  626. When we are telling,

  627. whether or not

  628. we're fabricating,

  629. we're able to deceive people

  630. intentionally by omission,

  631. by just avoiding

  632. saying a certain thing.

  633. We can lie by exaggeration.

  634. We can lie by

  635. emphasizing something.

  636. So we can lie by

  637. fabrication,

  638. omission,

  639. exaggeration,

  640. or by emphasizing something.

  641. And while we do those things,

  642. if we're doing,

  643. if we're playing word games

  644. in order to

  645. intentionally deceive someone,

  646. it doesn't matter

  647. whether the sentences we say

  648. are actually true sentences,

  649. we're lying.

  650. And to do that

  651. is an abomination

  652. to the Lord.

  653. In the case of

  654. my friend and I,

  655. who we're calling Steve

  656. this morning,

  657. Proverbs 21 says,

  658. the getting of treasures.

  659. And what Steve and I

  660. were trying to do is,

  661. we're trying to get a treasure,

  662. a treasure not of money

  663. in this case,

  664. or of a new vase,

  665. but we're trying to get a treasure

  666. of his wife not hating him.

  667. That's the thing

  668. we were going for.

  669. We're trying to get that.

  670. And we really thought

  671. that if we were able

  672. to play this game,

  673. that we'd get this treasure.

  674. But Proverbs 21 says,

  675. the getting of treasures

  676. by lying tongue

  677. is a fleeting vapor

  678. and a snare of death.

  679. I'm convinced

  680. that if my friend Steve

  681. had said that lie,

  682. which was,

  683. we thought,

  684. if he had gone that route,

  685. it would be the kind of thing

  686. that either

  687. would continue to build

  688. and have to keep lying,

  689. keep lying to safeguard

  690. that thing we were trying to get,

  691. that her not being mad at him.

  692. Or even if he was successful in it,

  693. it would be the kind of thing

  694. that just,

  695. that although he,

  696. although she would not be mad at him

  697. over the broken vase,

  698. it would be the kind of thing

  699. that would,

  700. in the back of his mind,

  701. be plaguing him,

  702. be plaguing him.

  703. And what he thought

  704. he had achieved

  705. through deception

  706. would be something

  707. that would actually be

  708. harming his friendship.

  709. And this isn't just

  710. my analysis of it.

  711. This is from the Bible,

  712. that lying lips

  713. bring death,

  714. that the treasures

  715. we get through lying

  716. is just a fleeting vapor.

  717. It's not something

  718. that can actually last.

  719. So if we're afraid,

  720. if we're afraid of reality

  721. and still we're lying,

  722. the deal that's going on right here

  723. is that we're not entrusting

  724. the one who is truth.

  725. God defines himself,

  726. Jesus says,

  727. I am the way,

  728. the truth,

  729. and the life.

  730. And this is one of the many reasons

  731. that lying is,

  732. that deception is something

  733. that is so abhorrent to God,

  734. is that it is against

  735. his very nature

  736. and his identity.

  737. He is truth.

  738. And in any situation

  739. where you might lie,

  740. whether it is because

  741. you've broken a vase

  742. or because maybe

  743. your child is asking you

  744. if their painting

  745. is a beautiful painting

  746. and it's actually horrendous

  747. or you're trying to get

  748. into a baseball game

  749. and you want to get

  750. a student ticket

  751. and you're not actually a student,

  752. whatever it may be,

  753. whatever the thing

  754. that may be driving your lie,

  755. maybe you're at work

  756. and you're trying to

  757. cover your own back

  758. because you messed up

  759. on something.

  760. In every case,

  761. what we're doing

  762. is that we're not entrusting,

  763. we're not trusting the truth.

  764. We think that the truth

  765. is not a safe place for us

  766. and so we're trying to

  767. look out for ourselves

  768. as we lie

  769. or look out for a buddy

  770. as we lie.

  771. And so how we deal

  772. with the words of lying

  773. is by dealing with the heart

  774. that's not just trusting the truth.

  775. So if you can put up

  776. the second point.

  777. Thank you, Andrew.

  778. Let's read it together.

  779. Through the power of God,

  780. I become free of lying words

  781. as I entrust myself

  782. to the one who is truth.

  783. Through the power of God,

  784. I become free of lying words

  785. as I entrust myself

  786. to the one who is truth.

  787. And so if you find yourself

  788. being someone that lies,

  789. the thing to do

  790. is to go to God,

  791. confess it,

  792. every time confess it,

  793. but go to God

  794. and say,

  795. Lord, don't just change

  796. my words.

  797. Don't just help me

  798. stop lying.

  799. Help me to trust you

  800. who is truth.

  801. Help me to live

  802. in the truth.

  803. As we find that our hearts

  804. begin to trust God

  805. in the truth,

  806. we'll find that we're able

  807. to actually have the courage

  808. to speak the truth.

  809. Jabber,

  810. lies,

  811. are both things

  812. we can overcome

  813. as is gossip.

  814. Proverbs 11, 13 says,

  815. whoever goes about

  816. slandering reveals secrets,

  817. but he who is trustworthy

  818. in spirit keeps the thing covered.

  819. Proverbs 16, verse 28,

    Proverbs 16:28

  820. a dishonest man spreads strife

  821. and a whisperer

  822. separates close friends.

  823. Proverbs 17, 9,

  824. whoever covers an offense

  825. seeks love,

  826. but he who repeats a matter

  827. separates close friends.

  828. Again, we see that

  829. that whispering gossip

  830. not only has the power

  831. to keep people

  832. who could have been friends

  833. from being friends,

  834. but it is such a devastating thing,

  835. even though it might feel

  836. so good,

  837. that it has the power

  838. to separate even close friends.

  839. And I know there are people

  840. in this room

  841. who know these words

  842. to be true,

  843. and it's a devastating truth.

  844. Proverbs 18, verse 8,

    Proverbs 18:8

  845. the words of a whisperer

  846. are like delicious morsels.

  847. They go down

  848. into the inner parts

  849. of the body.

  850. What this is saying

  851. is that gossiping words

  852. is something that

  853. can be so delightful,

  854. so enjoyable.

  855. It's like delicious morsels,

  856. it says,

  857. that go down

  858. into your body.

  859. It can feel so good.

  860. And truly,

  861. even jabbering

  862. may be something

  863. that just doesn't seem

  864. to bother us,

  865. and lies may be

  866. something we justify,

  867. but gossip is something

  868. that we can so enjoy.

  869. In fact,

  870. if you're a gossiper,

  871. there's a good chance

  872. that some of your friends

  873. actually value you

  874. for that.

  875. You're someone that they,

  876. like,

  877. I've been working

  878. in politics for a while,

  879. and when I talk

  880. to my friends

  881. who are interested

  882. in politics,

  883. they'll ask me,

  884. can you tell us

  885. some stories?

  886. And throughout the years,

  887. I'd have some juicy stories.

  888. There's some hilarious stories

  889. from doing interviews

  890. with politicians

  891. where they act

  892. in such a ridiculous

  893. and foolish manner

  894. in an interview.

  895. They give you

  896. this amazing story

  897. you can tell,

  898. and people will laugh

  899. with you at the story,

  900. and they want more stories,

  901. and I can produce

  902. more stories,

  903. and it actually makes you

  904. someone that people

  905. will actually want

  906. to talk with,

  907. and hear you speak

  908. because you have

  909. these juicy morsels

  910. that are so delicious

  911. to listen to.

  912. Gossip isn't just something

  913. that doesn't convict us.

  914. It's something that actually,

  915. that we can enjoy so much,

  916. and yet,

  917. gossip separates

  918. close friends.

  919. It devastates relationships.

  920. Proverbs 26, verse 20,

    Proverbs 26:20

  921. For lack of wood,

  922. the fire goes out,

  923. and where there is

  924. no whisperer,

  925. quarreling ceases.

  926. You'll see that

  927. in Proverbs,

  928. King Solomon

  929. chose to use

  930. the term whispering

  931. for most of his references

  932. to gossip.

  933. The reason I'm so thankful

  934. that he did that

  935. is that when we talk

  936. about gossip,

  937. it's easy for us

  938. to think of gossip

  939. as something that is

  940. motivated by spite,

  941. that is motivated

  942. by a destructive desire,

  943. and so I found it

  944. in my own life

  945. when I chat with my friends

  946. about maybe we should

  947. stop gossiping.

  948. People will often say

  949. things like,

  950. well, no, gossip

  951. is defined by its motivation,

  952. and we're not sharing

  953. this stuff because of an ill,

  954. for ill reasons,

  955. but in Christian circles,

  956. some of the gossip

  957. that we're trying to address

  958. is actually in the form

  959. of prayer requests.

  960. I was trying to say,

  961. hey, I think we've been

  962. sitting by gossip

  963. and sharing these things.

  964. It doesn't feel like

  965. it's gossip if it ends

  966. with, can you pray for them?

  967. That's often the case

  968. in church circles,

  969. but when King Solomon

  970. talks about whispering,

  971. he's saying that

  972. it's not just the motivation

  973. that makes it gossip,

  974. it's the information.

  975. It's the information

  976. that is not yours to tell,

  977. and one of the things

  978. that I noticed just recently,

  979. even as I was preparing

  980. for this,

  981. is that I received a text

  982. from a friend

  983. who said,

  984. hey, I'm going through

  985. some tough stuff.

  986. Can you pray for me?

  987. I wrote back,

  988. hey, do you want

  989. to be specific?

  990. And they said,

  991. no, I don't feel comfortable

  992. sharing what I'm going through,

  993. but can you just pray?

  994. God knows.

  995. And so I prayed for them.

  996. And yet,

  997. at the same time,

  998. I find that we can be,

  999. although so discreet

  1000. about our own needs

  1001. and our own situations

  1002. we're going through,

  1003. when it comes to someone else,

  1004. it's so easy for us

  1005. to just share

  1006. all the dirt,

  1007. all the confusion,

  1008. all the stuff

  1009. someone else is going through,

  1010. being like,

  1011. hey, can you pray for them?

  1012. And I know that

  1013. a lot of those times

  1014. it's motivated by a good thing.

  1015. We actually care about that person.

  1016. And yet,

  1017. for ourselves,

  1018. we're discreet.

  1019. For someone else,

  1020. we're not.

  1021. Whoever goes,

  1022. Proverbs 11 again,

  1023. whoever goes about slandering

  1024. reveals secrets,

  1025. but he who is trustworthy

  1026. in spirit

  1027. keeps the thing covered.

  1028. Every single one of us,

  1029. as we live life,

  1030. ends up with information

  1031. about other people

  1032. that we can choose

  1033. to keep covered

  1034. or we can choose

  1035. to reveal.

  1036. The person of God,

  1037. the godly person

  1038. will finish their life

  1039. with a huge reservoir

  1040. of things they could have said

  1041. about people

  1042. and chose not to.

  1043. But the person

  1044. who is not honoring God

  1045. with their lips

  1046. because they're gossiping

  1047. is someone

  1048. who just shares that stuff.

  1049. Now,

  1050. every single one of us

  1051. should have stuff

  1052. about people.

  1053. Well,

  1054. every one of us

  1055. will have stuff

  1056. that we can share

  1057. about other people,

  1058. but it'd be gossip.

  1059. So if you and I

  1060. don't know what it feels like

  1061. to want to speak

  1062. about someone's stuff

  1063. but choose not to,

  1064. if you know what it's like

  1065. to sometimes

  1066. like white bare knuckle

  1067. gripping you,

  1068. like I will not share

  1069. the stuff,

  1070. but you have the stuff

  1071. to share,

  1072. there's a really good chance

  1073. you don't feel that

  1074. because you're gossiping.

  1075. If you don't know

  1076. what it's like

  1077. to have something

  1078. that people would enjoy hearing

  1079. but you're choosing

  1080. not to say it,

  1081. there's a really good chance

  1082. it's because you're just

  1083. someone who just gives

  1084. into that desire

  1085. and just gossips.

  1086. I've been guilty of it

  1087. and I believe many of us

  1088. in this room

  1089. are guilty of it.

  1090. So why do we gossip?

  1091. What is it in our hearts

  1092. that allows us to gossip

  1093. or drives us to gossip?

  1094. From the little bit

  1095. of research I did,

  1096. it seems that a lot of times

  1097. we gossip

  1098. because of insecurity

  1099. in our lives.

  1100. Sometimes we'll gossip

  1101. because we want to put

  1102. someone else down

  1103. so that people will think

  1104. of us as being

  1105. a better person.

  1106. Sometimes we gossip

  1107. because we're insecure,

  1108. we don't have anything

  1109. really meaningful to say

  1110. and so it's just easy

  1111. to revert to gossip.

  1112. Again,

  1113. it's another type

  1114. of insecurity.

  1115. And then other times

  1116. we can gossip

  1117. just because,

  1118. again,

  1119. it's being motivated

  1120. by a concern

  1121. to have people

  1122. pray for something

  1123. but you're just not

  1124. truly loving,

  1125. caring for that person.

  1126. And so,

  1127. one of the ways

  1128. we're able to deal

  1129. with that spider

  1130. that's driving gossip

  1131. is,

  1132. if you can put up

  1133. the next point,

  1134. that through the power

  1135. of God

  1136. I become free

  1137. of gossiping

  1138. as I find my identity

  1139. in God.

  1140. That the antidote

  1141. for insecurity

  1142. that would drive gossip

  1143. is that we become

  1144. more secure

  1145. in who we are in God.

  1146. So we need to prove

  1147. ourselves to people

  1148. by putting others down.

  1149. So if you'd read it

  1150. with me,

  1151. through the power

  1152. of God

  1153. I become free

  1154. of gossiping

  1155. as I find my identity

  1156. in God.

  1157. So that's something

  1158. to pray for

  1159. if you find yourself.

  1160. This is something

  1161. I've wrestled with

  1162. in the past

  1163. bunch of years

  1164. where I found

  1165. in high school

  1166. I was incredibly insecure

  1167. and it would manifest

  1168. itself sometimes

  1169. in gossip.

  1170. And so in God's grace

  1171. by his power

  1172. I'd pray that God

  1173. would you help me

  1174. to see how you see me?

  1175. Would you help me

  1176. to stop being insecure?

  1177. And over time

  1178. seeing,

  1179. it's still something

  1180. a work in progress

  1181. but seeing God

  1182. actually bring

  1183. such security

  1184. such freedom

  1185. such a sense

  1186. of belonging in God

  1187. and value in him

  1188. and there's freedom

  1189. from gossip in that.

  1190. And then another thing

  1191. to pray

  1192. and it's not on the screen

  1193. but if you find yourself

  1194. that you're praying

  1195. for someone gossiping

  1196. not motivated

  1197. by anything ill

  1198. or anything insecure

  1199. but actually maybe

  1200. motivated by a good thing

  1201. you want people

  1202. to pray for people's stuff

  1203. and you're just careless

  1204. and sharing other people's stuff

  1205. that's embarrassing for them

  1206. or it's just not yours

  1207. to share

  1208. I'm just praying

  1209. God, would you help me

  1210. to be someone

  1211. who's walking in wisdom?

  1212. Would you help me

  1213. maybe that first thing

  1214. about jabbering

  1215. to be someone

  1216. who's living

  1217. in the fear of you

  1218. that as you fear God

  1219. you're able to get victory

  1220. over this stuff.

  1221. Death and life

  1222. are in the power

  1223. of the tongue

  1224. and those who love it

  1225. will eat its fruits.

  1226. Whether what you and I

  1227. are struggling with

  1228. is gossip

  1229. or jabber

  1230. or lies

  1231. it can be so difficult

  1232. to get victory

  1233. on this stuff

  1234. and so I hope

  1235. that there's encouragement

  1236. in the message today

  1237. as we look to God

  1238. for these various heart issues

  1239. that we can find victory

  1240. over these things.

  1241. But the greatest hope

  1242. we'll find

  1243. is actually

  1244. for me at least

  1245. is in the beginning

  1246. of the Gospel of John

  1247. verse 1

  1248. it says these words

  1249. in the beginning

  1250. was the Word

  1251. and the Word

  1252. was with God

  1253. and the Word

  1254. was God

  1255. He was in the beginning

  1256. with God

  1257. all things were made

  1258. through Him

  1259. and without Him

  1260. was not anything

  1261. made that was made

  1262. in Him

  1263. in the Word

  1264. was life

  1265. and the life

  1266. was the light of men

  1267. the light shines

  1268. in the darkness

  1269. and the darkness

  1270. has not overcome it.

  1271. This word that

  1272. the translators

  1273. are putting into English

  1274. is the Word

  1275. is the Greek word

  1276. logos

  1277. which means

  1278. communication

  1279. it means

  1280. to communicate something

  1281. they're translating

  1282. as the Word

  1283. and as I was preparing

  1284. for this message

  1285. I was just getting

  1286. so discouraged

  1287. like man

  1288. I've tried to change

  1289. my words so many times

  1290. and as I stopped

  1291. trying to prepare

  1292. the message

  1293. and started just praying

  1294. and asked some friends

  1295. for prayer

  1296. like I don't deserve

  1297. to preach this message

  1298. I can't speak

  1299. as someone

  1300. who has mastery

  1301. over all this

  1302. I can speak

  1303. as someone

  1304. who wants mastery

  1305. over this

  1306. and as I was preparing

  1307. this and looking

  1308. to what does the Bible

  1309. not just Proverbs

  1310. what does the Bible

  1311. say about words

  1312. we see that God

  1313. himself is the Word

  1314. that God himself

  1315. is communication

  1316. and so I want to invite you

  1317. to join me in praying

  1318. to the one who is the Word

  1319. that we would have victory

  1320. over our words

  1321. that we would be people

  1322. not only looking to God

  1323. for forgiveness

  1324. for our wrong words

  1325. but that we would be a church

  1326. that is looking to God

  1327. for our words

  1328. to be words

  1329. exclusively bringing life

  1330. how wonderful would it be

  1331. that in every one

  1332. of our lives

  1333. and as a church

  1334. as a church community

  1335. church Messiah

  1336. would be a people

  1337. who use their words

  1338. to speak encouragement

  1339. sometimes we're necessary

  1340. to speak rebuke

  1341. that brings life

  1342. to be people

  1343. who are affirming

  1344. and encouraging

  1345. and exhorting

  1346. each other

  1347. walking in truth

  1348. walking in restraint

  1349. walking in life

  1350. and love for each other

  1351. and we find that

  1352. as we look to him

  1353. who is the Word

  1354. so if you can put

  1355. the final point up

  1356. Andrew

  1357. read this with me

  1358. I receive

  1359. the power of God

  1360. over my words

  1361. and my heart

  1362. as I look

  1363. to the Word

  1364. Jesus

  1365. as we speak about

  1366. we're able to find

  1367. freedom from

  1368. bad words

  1369. through the power

  1370. of God

  1371. dealing with our hearts

  1372. we receive the power

  1373. of God

  1374. the true and living

  1375. power of God

  1376. the power that

  1377. spoke the world

  1378. into existence

  1379. we receive that power

  1380. as we look to him

  1381. from whom the power

  1382. comes to

  1383. the Word

  1384. Jesus

  1385. so let us look to him

  1386. now in prayer

  1387. would you

  1388. bow your hearts

  1389. with me

  1390. Heavenly Father

  1391. I pray that as we

  1392. go out from here

  1393. today

  1394. in a few minutes

  1395. that you would

  1396. help us not to

  1397. just be those

  1398. who just try a little

  1399. harder to get our

  1400. words right

  1401. but that you would

  1402. help us to be a

  1403. people who are

  1404. living life by the

  1405. power of God

  1406. by your power

  1407. that you would

  1408. help each one of us

  1409. deal with the heart

  1410. issues that are

  1411. driving those

  1412. those empty words

  1413. those jabbering

  1414. or those lying

  1415. or gossiping words

  1416. Lord I pray that

  1417. if the if the heart

  1418. issues aren't the

  1419. ones we've spoken

  1420. about today

  1421. but our other

  1422. driving forces

  1423. for why we're

  1424. speaking words of

  1425. death

  1426. that you would

  1427. minister and speak

  1428. into our lives

  1429. about those things

  1430. that you would

  1431. make each one of us

  1432. as individuals

  1433. and as a community

  1434. a community

  1435. and a people

  1436. whose words bring

  1437. life

  1438. and not death

  1439. that you would

  1440. help us

  1441. without your help

  1442. we will not tame

  1443. our tongues

  1444. we will not have

  1445. victory

  1446. lasting victory

  1447. but Lord

  1448. by your power

  1449. by you who is

  1450. the Word

  1451. you can transform

  1452. us

  1453. so would you

  1454. transform us

  1455. for your glory

  1456. and our good

  1457. in Jesus' name

  1458. Amen

  1459. Amen