Forgive the Inexcusable?

Father, we're going to open your word now.

We're going to look deeply into your word.

And Father, we're not always honest with you.

We're not always honest, Father,

that we don't really think your word is practical,

that we don't believe your word, we don't trust your word.

Father, we ask that your Holy Spirit would work deeply within us,

that we might honestly come to your word

and that your word might come with power

into the very center of who we are,

that we might be gripped by the gospel

and become disciples of Jesus,

confident and joyful in the gospel.

And this we ask in Jesus' name. Amen.

Please be seated.

So we're going through a different sermon series this summer.

I need to start my clock. There we go.

We're doing a series of one-verse sermons,

deeper, meditating on God's word.

And sometimes it's actually two verses.

It's basically one sentence.

Today, as part of that series,

we're actually going to, we're sort of looking at one long sentence,

but practically speaking,

we're going to camp in a few words

at the very, very end of this verse.

And Andrew, if you could just put it up,

we're going to read it all together in a second.

And just so you sort of have a bit of a sense

of where this is in the book,

in the book of Colossians,

in the first two chapters,

Paul basically tells people in a very powerful way

who Jesus is and what he accomplished

in his life and in his death upon the cross.

And then chapter three and chapter four

address the question,

well, if this is true,

like if this is true,

if this is who Jesus is

and this is what he accomplished,

then how should we live?

Like what does that mean

in terms of how we live our daily lives?

And in chapter three,

which is where this new part of the book starts,

Paul uses three sort of very simple images

to try to launch into how we should live.

He uses the image of first of all,

setting our mind on something.

It's a very, very practical thing.

If you think about it,

every one of us,

when we wake up in the morning,

we have our mind set on something.

I mean, at a very short term level,

my mind is set on going to the bathroom

and then having a cup of coffee.

I mean, that's how my mind is set

as soon as I wake up.

But throughout the day,

we have our mind set on different things.

I got to do this.

I got to do that.

I want to make sure I don't do that.

And our minds can be set on other things.

Gosh, I'm still bothered that so-and-so said that to me.

Or boy, I'm going to say something to them

or whatever it is.

But we have our mind set on something.

And so Paul just says,

the first thing you should do

in terms of who Jesus is

and what he's done for your life

is you should set your mind on Jesus

and think about where the gospel leaves you

at the end of the days,

which is in the new heaven and the new earth

with him forever.

So set your mind on that.

It doesn't mean you don't think about having a coffee,

but just set your mind on Jesus.

And then the second and third image are linked

because if we think about it,

all throughout the week,

we take clothes off and put clothes on.

All week, we put clothes on,

take clothes off, put them on,

mix and match,

take some off, put others on.

And so Paul uses this simple image

of taking certain clothing off

and then putting certain clothing on.

And just before this,

he's listed the sort of types of vices,

bad things that we do.

And he said, you should take these off.

Just sort of imagine when you wake up

or throughout the day,

I'm going to take this off.

I'm going to take my anger off.

I'm going to put it over here.

I'm going to take my, you know,

bitterson off.

I'm going to put it over there.

And then just so you don't walk around naked,

he gives this image of putting some clothing on.

And that's where we are in this verse.

So if you would read the scripture text out loud with me,

that would be very helpful.

And it goes like this then together.

Put on then as God's chosen ones,

holy and beloved, compassionate hearts,

kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,

bearing with one another.

And if one has a complaint against another,

forgiving each other as the Lord has forgiven you,

so you also must forgive.

Great passage of scripture.

Now, here's the thing,

which is at the level of the Greek,

you're just going to have to trust me,

the original language,

there's a very interesting thing about this verse.

There's five things that we're asked to put on, right?

We're asked to put on compassionate hearts,

kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.

But the way that the verse works

is that those can only happen,

those five things can really only happen

if we bear with one another and forgive one another.

That's at the level of the original language.

That's how the sentence flows.

In other words, it says,

you're dreaming,

you're smoking a controlled substance,

which will soon no longer be a controlled substance in Canada.

You're smoking such substances

if you think you can be patient,

patient with people without forgiving.

If you think you're going to be compassionate without forgiving,

you're smoking something.

If you think you're going to be humble or meek without forgiving,

you're sort of smoking something.

And that's how it works at the original language.

And so what we're going to do, if you could put up the short form, Andrew,

this entire sermon is us going to camp on these few words.

Can you say them out loud with me?

That would be very helpful.

As the Lord has forgiven you,

so you also must forgive.

Let's say it together again.

As the Lord has forgiven you,

so you must forgive.

I want to keep saying must also, but there you go.

So very, very simple.

Now let's just be right honest about it right off the bat.

None of us here believe that.

None of us do.

We all profoundly think it's impractical.

We think it's all right.

Sorry, some of you have, I've just offended some of you.

I'm a bit too, you know, maybe,

but maybe some of us more or less believe it most of the time.

See, here's the thing.

If you're a guest here this morning,

there's something you have to know about Christians,

is that we Christians know that with our lips

and on the outside of our body,

we're supposed to say certain things, so we do.

We're very good at it, like trained seals.

But inwardly, we don't really believe a lot of this stuff.

And often we don't want to be very honest about the fact

that we're a bit divided around these things.

This past week, just on Thursday,

I had the great honor of being able to speak on Parliament Hill

to some of the staffers there

through the Parliament Hill Christian Fellowship.

There were about 20 people there, and it's a great honor.

I take it as a great privilege when I get invited to speak there.

I gave them an early draft of this sermon,

which is what I do when I get invited to speak there.

I give them an early draft of what I'm working on.

And I said to them that, you know, if we're honest,

we don't think this is practical.

And we don't think it's really something we should do

in a whole pile of situations.

I said, could you imagine that if you go back

and one of the things that you're dealing with with your boss

is that the other party is slandering you?

And not only are they slandering you,

but they've been very, very effective

in getting the press to swallow the slander

and the lies and the innuendo and the spin.

And the press is going like crazy after your boss.

And it's just really terrible

and upsetting all of the things that they're saying.

And how many of you do you think

would say to your boss

that what you need to do is forgive them?

I didn't get anybody to put their hand up and say,

that's what I tell my boss to do all the time.

You've just got to forgive them.

Just forgive the other party.

Just forgive the Globe and Mail and the writers.

Like, hold on a moment.

Like, you see, George,

it's all right to forgive, like, for small things.

But, like, for big things?

Like, really?

And I gave them this example.

There's no particular example,

but we all know, and they all knew, by the way,

nobody on Parliament Hill said things like this

don't happen on Parliament Hill.

I said, what if one of you,

you know, maybe you're working for a cabinet minister

or you're just working for an important MP,

and the MP's been doing something naughty.

That's bad.

And it comes out.

And so the MP,

there's a little bit of ambiguity around this,

or the prime minister or the cabinet minister,

they say, listen, it would be terrible for the party.

It would be terrible for the cause.

It would be terrible for the movement

that we represent in Canada

if I go down for this.

So I'd like you to take responsibility for it

to the staff worker.

In a sense, I'd like you to fall on your sword for me.

I'd like you to fall on my sword for me.

And I'd like you to take the blame,

and I'd like you to say to the press that I,

the, you know, the whatever,

the cabinet minister didn't know anything about it.

They're completely innocent.

It's all on me.

I did it all.

It's my fault.

And the cabinet minister or the MP says to you,

don't worry about it.

I mean, it's going to be really hard for you,

but I'm with you.

I got your back,

and me and the party will make it up to you later.

Yes, right?

And then you do that.

You fall on your sword.

The press dumps on you.

Maybe there's some even legal consequences to you or fines.

And then three months, six months, nine months,

it's all over.

You're waiting for the party or the backers

to make it up for you, and they forget all about you.

In fact, you're a hot potato.

They don't want to have anything to do with you.

And your career is ruined,

especially nowadays with social media.

That can follow you for the rest of your life.

It might mean for the rest of your life,

you don't get as good a job as you would have had

if you hadn't fallen on your sword.

And the cabinet minister and the other people,

they just go on.

They're having a great life.

Parties in the papers, all that.

Things go on well, but your life is ruined.

And then, what does it say here?

As the Lord has forgiven you,

so you also must forgive.

Like, if we come across a woman

who's been abused by her dad for years,

do we tell her,

as the Lord has forgiven you,

so you also must forgive?

Well, why don't we?

Well, it's because we don't really believe this is true.

Right?

But as Christians, we don't want to say that out loud.

So I'm saying it.

So here's part of the thing.

Part of the reason that we have a hard time with this text,

in practice,

as the Lord has forgiven you,

so you also must forgive.

Isn't it just,

I hope you memorize this text.

Well, here's part of the problem

is because whether we're aware of it or not,

we know our own heart.

And so what goes on in our own heart?

Well, what goes on in our own heart

is we know what we're like at a certain level.

We know what we're like

when it comes time for us to ask for forgiveness.

Because that's what an apology is.

So you do something wrong,

maybe do a set of things wrong,

and your wife calls you on it.

And you say,

I'm really sorry for doing that.

And then what's the very next word?

But.

And it's a big but.

And then we say,

well, I'm really sorry for doing that.

But.

I am really sorry for doing that.

Seven words.

And then we say

a couple of hundred words

or a thousand words after the but.

But I was tired.

Well, but I, you know,

I, I, I,

but, you know, you're overreacting.

But, and you can fill in the blank, right?

And what we've done

is we've actually not asked for forgiveness.

We've asked for the person

to accept our deception and our excuses.

Can you say that text with me again, please?

As the Lord has forgiven you,

so you also must forgive.

So one of the reasons we don't agree with this text

is because we're fundamentally confused about forgiveness.

So, Andrew, if you could put this up.

And by the way,

I have set an all-time record today

for a sermon with sermon points.

I, if you added it up,

I think I have a 27 or 28 point sermon.

10 minutes a point.

We're going to be here till late in the afternoon.

No, just joking.

If you can't put this all,

if I, hopefully this is helpful to you.

And if you can't,

if you're curious later on,

it will be on the webpage

if you want to look it up.

But here's what forgiveness is not.

Forgiveness is not believing their excuses.

That's not what forgiveness is.

Forgiveness is not being gullible.

Forgiveness is not forgetting what they did.

Forgiveness is not pretending you were not hurt.

Forgiveness is not pretending it was not wrong.

Forgiveness is not letting the other person

who wronged you off the hook.

Forgiveness is not making excuses for them

because their excuses sucked.

And you can think of some better excuses for them.

And so you make those excuses for them.

How many of us have lived with violent or abusive

or alcoholic people

and that's what we've done?

Made excuses for them.

And we think we're forgiving them.

Forgiveness is not turning a blind eye to their actions.

Forgiveness is not approving of what they did.

Forgiveness is not saying that what they did

was not really wrong.

Forgiveness is not being deceived by the wrongdoer.

Forgiveness is not succumbing to pressure

from others to cave.

Isn't that what happens so much?

Like just think of the young woman

who's been abused by her dad.

Maybe verbally, maybe physically for a long time.

And what is it that the mom says?

What is it that their siblings say?

Come on, just like go along with it.

It wasn't really that bad.

Like just come on.

Like we like to be able to have a nice time

around the supper table

and here you are grumpy with a long face.

Like come on.

Come on.

Forgive them.

Right?

That's what they say.

That's what we say.

Forgive them.

In other words,

succumb to the pressure that we're putting on you

and cave on this.

Forgiveness is not encouraging injustice.

Forgiveness is not repressing what happened.

Forgiveness is not living in denial.

Forgiveness is not surrendering to the perpetrator.

Forgiveness is not being an enabler

to the wrongdoers and the perpetrators.

None of those things are forgiveness.

None of them.

George, why are you saying that?

What's our text today?

This is why this text is such an important text to memorize.

The text says,

As the Lord has forgiven you,

so you also must forgive.

Jesus doesn't do any of those 17 things I just mentioned.

He doesn't say,

he doesn't make the excuses for you.

He doesn't turn a blind eye.

He doesn't enable you.

He doesn't succumb to wrongdoers.

You see, the fact of the matter is,

is it's the very part,

if you're a guest here this morning,

one of the things I've been saying a lot lately

is I don't believe in the God that Canadians believe in.

From a Canadian point of view,

I am an atheist.

I don't believe in the God that Canadians believe in.

I believe in the God revealed by Jesus.

And the God revealed by Jesus

is very different than the God

that most Canadians believe in.

And it's the very heart of the biblical DNA.

It's the very heart of Jesus' DNA of the gospel.

The very heart that never does God call evil good.

Never.

Never does God surrender to evil.

Never.

Never.

Never.

God is always just.

He's always true.

He's always merciful.

And he does forgive.

And so none of these things that I just listed

could possibly be what God means

when it says,

as the Lord has forgiven you,

so you also must forgive.

Because Jesus doesn't do any of those things.

You see, it's also,

if you could put up the next point, Andrew,

it's also that forgiving another person does not mean

that things have to go back to normal

or that the wrongdoer will not face consequences.

Some of you know, maybe not all of you,

but my father's a convicted pedophile, spent time in jail.

He was a pedophile against young girls.

And I had a role in having him go to jail.

And part of the role that I had in helping,

I'll jump,

in having him go to jail

was that after we unearthed

what he'd been doing for many, many decades,

four women,

a couple of them in their 40s

and others in their 20s,

decided that they would bring charges against my father,

not so much because they wanted to punish him,

but they wanted to make sure

that he was on record as a pedophile

so that if he ever went to a youth group

or something

and they had him do a police check,

it would come out that he was on the list.

And I,

this is all family.

These are cousins

and I won't go into all the other details

to protect some of the victims,

but I was sort of with one other person

was the one who unearthed it.

I was the one who confronted my father.

It was a very, very difficult day.

It was a July 2nd,

quite a few years ago

when I went to my dad and said,

I know your secret

and told him what he had been doing.

And,

and so these four looked to me

for support and encouragement

when they decided

that they were going to bring charges

against my father

and I supported them,

encouraged them as the victims

and I started to face tremendous pressure

from my extended family

to use my influence as a pastor

to tell them

that they had to forgive my father

and forgive my father

meant that he did not

have to have charges pressed against him.

The pastor of my parents' church

sent me letters

telling me that if I was a real Christian,

I would use my influence

to tell these four people

who were all Christians

that as Christians

they had to forgive

and forgiving would mean

that they didn't bring charges

and so my dad wouldn't have to go to jail.

And it's caused,

even today,

a profound division in my family.

I stood with the victims

and the victims went forward

and my dad went to jail.

And that's had a rever...

It's continued to have

an effect right to today.

But you see,

what they thought

was that forgiving

meant that there's no consequences,

that things go back to normal,

but that's not true.

Forgiving is different

than having certain consequences

still befall a person.

It's quite different.

And, you know,

another example is

if somebody stole $50,000

from us as a church,

it would be this text,

as the Lord has forgiven you

so you also must forgive

would mean that we would have to forgive

the person who stole $50,000 from us.

We're a small church,

that's a lot of money.

But you know what?

After we've forgiven them

and maybe even after

and after they've been reconciled,

potentially assuming

that they've been

penitent

and want to amend their life,

they could come back

into our church

because we've forgiven them,

but they could never be

treasurer again,

could they?

Just as my dad

should never look after

young girls

for the rest of his life,

even if he's healed,

and it would be wrong

to put him

into a place

he can be forgiven,

but the family

should have accepted

that it was a good

and wise thing

that he'd be on the list

of pedophiles.

For the good of my father,

the true good of my father,

and for the true good

of potential future victims.

So you see,

forgiveness,

forgiving another person

does not mean

that things have to go

back to normal

or that the wrongdoer

will not face consequences.

If you could put up

the next point, Andrew,

true forgiveness

always involves

forgiving the inexcusable

wrong done to you.

True forgiveness

always involves

forgiving the person

for the inexcusable

wrong done to you.

And we all go,

whoa,

one moment.

Do you see how confused we are?

Didn't we all just agree

that forgiveness

wasn't accepting excuses?

Didn't we all agree

that all,

I mean,

didn't we all sort of

see the instant wisdom?

See,

this is the problem

why we're so confused.

You see,

the problem we're so confused

is the reason people

don't pursue forgiveness

is they think forgiveness

is being gullible,

it's being weak,

it's being a doormat,

it's wearing a t-shirt

that says,

please kick me.

It's,

you know,

it's being deceived,

it's succumbing

to perpetrators,

it's succumbing

to peer pressure.

We think all these

wrong things

about forgiveness

and that's why

we don't pursue it.

That's why we don't

think it's practical.

Even though the Bible,

for Christians,

the Bible tells us

that it's practical

because I'm going to

explain in a moment

why it's unbelievably

practical

to the entire human race.

And at the same time

then when we say

so forgiving,

you know,

because there are

obviously sometimes

mitigating factors

for things,

you know,

and all,

but when we think,

whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa,

forgiveness actually

involves forgiving

the inexcusable

wrong done to you,

we,

because we want

to sneak in excuses.

We want to return

to being confused

about what forgiveness is.

You see,

this text

is confronting us

at the level

of the heart,

who we are

before the living God,

who we really are

before the living God.

But this is what

forgiveness is.

After you've taken away

all of the mitigating

circumstances,

in fact,

actually this is a really

important thing

for those of us

who are Christians,

a lot of times

when we think

we've confessed

our sins to God,

what we have done

is actually just

made excuses to God.

And then afterwards

we get up our knees

and we go like this

and we say,

ah, there you go,

I've done a good job

with telling God

my excuses.

We haven't actually

just asked for forgiveness.

Because we have

a hard time believing

that God will actually

forgive us

at a very deep level.

You see,

unforgiveness,

this is just a talk

here to the Christians,

when we don't forgive,

it's a bit of a sign

as to how real

the gospel is

to our heart.

You know,

fortunately,

the gospel doesn't

have to be perfectly

real to our heart

to be saved

because God

does all the work.

Thanks be to God.

I put my hand up

to reach for him

for mercy.

He crosses

the infinite distance.

He does,

deals with all my sin.

He gives me

the righteousness of Jesus.

He does everything.

He holds on to me.

I don't hold on to him.

Thanks be to God.

That's the truth

about how the gospel works.

But growing as a Christian

is learning

to start to have

and allowing

the Holy Spirit

to start to bring

the gospel home

to deeper levels

of who you are

so the gospel

becomes real to you.

And part of that process

is realizing

that as the Lord...

Can you say...

Could you put the text

up again, Andrew?

Sorry.

Can you say that

all with me again?

As the Lord

has forgiven you,

so you also

must forgive.

My hope is

you remember this

more than whatever

I have to say.

So...

Like...

Okay, George.

How on earth

can you actually

forgive the inexcusable

wrong

which is done

to you?

Well, before we talk

about that,

very briefly

I have to talk

just a little bit

about what happens

to most of us

when we're wronged.

And we go in a couple

of different directions,

maybe three

sort of different ways

that we go

when somebody wrongs us.

And rather than

forgiving them,

what we do

is we forget about it

or we make excuses

and other words like that.

But we actually...

We're not really

dealing with the wrong.

The wrong is in there

still eating away at us.

And one of the main

ways that we respond

to being wronged

when we don't forgive

is by bitterness

and resentment.

Bitterness and resentment.

We think every day

or maybe every week

about the things

that that person

did to us.

The opportunities

that were now lost to us.

The innocence

that we will never get back.

The shame that we carry.

The honor that we lost.

The financial...

The dollars

that it has cost us

to deal with this.

And we think about it

and we think about it

and we get bitter

and we get resentful

about it.

And if you could put up

the next point, Andrew.

And here's the simple thing.

Harboring bitterness

and resentment

is like eating laxatives

and hoping that the other person

gets the runs.

Never works.

Use that example

I gave on Parliament Hill.

You fall on your sword.

Your career is ruined.

Your finances

are never going to be as good.

Your reputation

has never been as good.

And meanwhile,

the guy you did it for,

the gal you did it for,

they're having champagne

with the high and the mighty.

They've forgotten about you

a long time ago.

And every day,

you eat that bitterness,

you eat that resentment,

and you're having laxatives,

and you're getting the runs.

They're not.

Because it never works that way.

Harboring bitterness

and resentment

over what's done to you.

Being grumpy about it.

It just bends

our life out of shape.

Another way we deal with it

is we just...

We want to...

We want to be angry at them.

Here's a fellow that I know,

and he became a Christian

late in life,

and he told me

after he'd become a Christian

that he realized

that the way he...

That he had a motto

when he was in business.

And it sort of made him

a bit of shame now,

but his motto

when he'd been in business,

he'd seen it on a cup

or a poster.

He actually...

He went to church all the time,

so he had this biblical thing,

but it was,

you know that,

Yea, though I walk

through the valley

of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil.

And then it said,

For I am the meanest

SOB in the valley.

And that's how

we made it through life.

You do me,

I'm going to do it

ten times to you.

You slander me,

you won't believe

what I can do back to you.

You take me on,

you are finished.

Who wants to be that person?

Who wants to be that person?

And who wants to be a person

who's eating bitterness

and resentment,

which is another way...

And by the way,

depression,

a lot of times,

depression,

as you all know,

is violence outward

turned in on the self.

And we're not able...

We want to be the meanest

SOB in the valley.

But the fact of the matter is,

there's a lot of meaner guys

and gals out there.

And so we get depressed,

turning the anger inside.

And then the third thing

we can do is,

we just often end up

becoming completely

and utterly cynical

about the whole thing.

Just defeated and cynical.

We don't harbor bitterness,

we don't harbor anger,

resentment,

but we are just cynical

and we just,

we've just in a sense

given up life

and we go through life

giving up.

So,

could you put the

scripture text up again?

Sorry, Andrew,

you've been great today,

by the way.

As the Lord...

Can we say this together again?

As the Lord has forgiven you,

so you also must forgive.

So what is it?

Here's...

If you could put up

the next point...

Here's the reminder then.

True forgiveness...

If you could put it up, Andrew.

True forgiveness

always involves

forgiving

the inexcusable wrong

done to you.

That's what it is.

It's always

forgiving

the inexcusable wrong

that was done to you.

Forgiving the person

for the inexcusable wrong

that they was done to you.

So how on earth

can this ever possibly happen?

Well, it does.

It has happened

and it happens today.

If you could put up

the next point, Andrew.

And I struggle

with this wording

and I know it's not perfect

and I, you know,

if I do this sermon

20 times,

maybe I'll eventually

get the grammar right

or one of you will help me.

But here it is.

Earthly forgiveness.

That is the forgiveness

that we actually see in life

is a mystery.

It's a mystery.

We're going to talk

about it more.

whereby you bear

much

or most of the cost

of the wrong

that was done to you.

But you bear it

in a way

that results

in you being free.

And it's a mystery

how it is

it can happen.

How it is

that some people

the wrong

eats away at them

and makes them

cynical and defeated

in life

and lethargic.

For some,

the anger

and the wrong

that's done to them

just makes them bitter

and resentful

and grumpy.

For some,

the wrong

that is done to them

makes them violent

and aggressive,

makes them racist,

just makes them

foul-mouthed

and anger-driven.

And why it is, though,

that there is this thing

called forgiveness

whereby there is a way

of, in a sense,

bearing or embracing

the true,

inexcusable wrong

and the cost

that that has done

to you

and there is a way

of bearing that

that results

in freedom.

The great example

of this

over the last

20 or 30 years

is, of course,

Nelson Mandela.

Nelson Mandela

who endured

the terrible

horrible horrible

horrible horrible

horrible horrible

horrible horrible

horrible horrible

horrible horrible

horrible horrible

horrible horrible

and all those

decades lost

in jail.

And I,

he didn't forgive

right away

but by the time

he emerged

he had forgiven

and he was

the freest man

in South Africa.

He was freer

than the people

who hated him,

freer than the people

who feared him,

freer than his own

race,

his own people

who hadn't forgiven.

He was free.

Somehow or another

and he's not a Christian.

I'm using him

as an example

of how the fact is

that somehow or another

he didn't forget

the wrong that was done.

He didn't pretend

that there was

no wrong done.

He didn't excuse

the wrong that was done.

Somehow or another

he took the wrong

that was done to him

and he bore it

in such a way

that,

and it doesn't

something that happens

in a moment

but in the far side

of this act

of forgiving

which is a way

of approaching

the wrong

in a way

that when you

it's,

you've processed

it all through

or it's processed

all through you

that you're actually

free.

You see,

if you could put up

the next point,

Andrew,

here's how we know

that we've forgiven.

When you finally

forgive,

you are left

with a clear

eyed freedom

from bitterness

and resentment

fight or flight

and tower

or cower.

And how we know this,

you see,

that's one of the reasons

why we have to forgive

even the dead

or the people

who have done wrong

to us 20 or 30 years ago

and they've long

forgotten about us.

It might be a teacher

or the coach

who just was

unbelievably cruel

to you

and long ago

they forgot

you existed

and you're carrying

things around

but all of a sudden,

maybe you see

the person

or you're in

their presence

or you see

a picture

of the person

or you smell

a smell

that reminds you

of the person.

Isn't it funny

how sometimes

a certain smell

can trigger

all sorts of memories?

And as soon as

you have those memories

come back,

all of those times

you're feeling

like your fist

starts to clench,

you tighten up

or you start to cry

or you feel depressed

or you feel the bitterness.

It means,

brother and sister

in Christ

that you haven't

forgiven the person

because on the far side

of forgiveness

is a freedom

whereby you can

remember the person

and you can remember

all of those things.

You haven't forgotten

them,

you remember them

but you can remember

in freedom,

clear-eyed freedom

without bitterness,

without resentment,

without fight or flight,

without towering

over them

or cowering

under them

because of their violence.

So the fact of the matter

is,

is that forgiveness

actually happens

both in Christians

and in non-Christians.

If you want to read

a great book

on forgiveness,

look at the book

not Amazing Grace

but Amish Grace

written by some sociologists

analyzing what went on

when the Amish people

forgave the man

who murdered

the young girls.

I think it was in 2006

or 2008,

not that long ago

that it happened.

It happens.

So how is it

this is even possible?

What here you see

is where the Bible

is so helpful

because I think

only Christians

can account

for how it is

that forgiveness

is possible.

Could you put up

the scripture quote again?

Andrew,

you've been great.

Say it together with me.

As the Lord

has forgiven you

so you also

must forgive.

See,

here's the thing.

If you put up

the point now,

the cross

was God

bearing the cost

to forgive you

of your inexcusable wrongs.

The cross

was God

bearing the cost

to forgive you

of your inexcusable wrongs.

You see,

when the Bible says

that the Lord

forgives you,

how did he forgive you?

Actually,

if you go back

later on,

I'm not going to

look at it now,

go back later on

and look at

Colossians 2,

Colossians 2:13

verses 13 and 14.

And in Colossians 2,

Colossians 2:13

verses 13 and 14,

Paul talks about

how it is

that Christ forgives us.

And the image

he gives is this.

He gives a very

simple image

to his hearers

who'd seen

many crucifixions.

And here,

it's very helpful.

We have this

reproduction

of a stained glass window

and it's,

you know,

very,

very traditional

and all that.

but you see,

over the cross,

it was customary

in the time

of the Romans

that when somebody

was crucified,

they would often

put on the actual cross

the charge

against the person

that was leading

to their death.

And what Paul suggests

in Colossians 2,

Colossians 2:13

verses 13 and 14

is that you,

that George

and you

and Andrew

and Diane

and each person here,

we're to imagine

that what really

happened on the cross

is that as Jesus

is dying on the cross,

what's put on the cross

is all the inexcusable wrongs

that George Sinclair

has done

from his moral awakening

to his death,

which is still for me

in the future.

Every inexcusable wrong

for which a cost

must be paid,

every single,

nothing left out,

inexcusable wrong

was listed

on the cross

and as Jesus

is dying,

he is bearing

the cost

of forgiving

my inexcusable wrongs.

Clear-eyed,

undeceived,

perfect clarity,

perfect knowledge.

He bears them

in himself.

And because

we Christians

believe that Jesus

is God,

the Son of God,

and that human beings

are made

in the image of God,

it means that

in a way

that only he could do,

it means that

he can bear

the cost

of forgiving

the inexcusable wrongs

of every single one

who is here in this room

and of every single person

on the planet

because we human beings

are made in his image.

And you see,

this is what is so profound

about the gospel

is that that means

that when Jesus

dies on the cross,

on one hand,

it is something

that happens

real.

It really happens.

It really happened

on a dusty hill

just outside the gates

of Jerusalem.

Like,

it really happened.

But while it really

happens on earth,

it is something cosmic

happening at the same time.

While it really happens

in time,

it is something

happening eternal

at the same time

that has bearing

on every,

every time.

While it's really

happening in a particular

place,

because of who he is,

it happens

and it's available

for every place,

every time,

every person.

That the Lord

bears the cost

of the inexcusable wrongs

that we have done

and pays that cost

so that you and I

can be forgiven.

So this mystery

of forgiveness,

Christians believe

in common grace.

Nelson Mandela,

I don't believe

he was a Christian,

but when he is able

to forgive,

he is in a sense

participating in this

mystery of what

Christ has done.

Not in a way that

will save Nelson Mandela,

that we have to put

our faith and trust

in Jesus,

but this mystery

is a true mystery.

It really happened.

It really broke

into our time.

And even people

who can't acknowledge

the source

can experience

the fruit.

But for those of us

who are followers

of Jesus,

Andrew,

could you put up

the scripture text

again?

As the Lord

has forgiven you,

so you also

must forgive.

We can understand

Jesus forgiving

the inexcusable

in us.

Just want to

dry it up

in a bit of a close.

If you could put up

the next point,

Andrew,

just to try to bring

it to a close,

one of the things

that you can pray

is that God

teach me,

lead me,

and help me

to forgive.

God teach me,

lead me,

and, oh sorry,

I got that out of order,

didn't I?

No?

You did it.

Okay, we'll do this one,

and now I have it

in the right order.

So here's a few things,

very quick things

about forgiveness.

Forgiveness,

generally speaking,

is not a moment,

it's a quest.

By that I mean

is it's not that

you have some

emotional breakthrough

and in a moment

just like that

you're able to forgive.

I believe in the

sovereignty of God,

I believe in miracles,

and so I believe

sometimes some people

in an instant

are able to forgive.

I believe that happens,

but generally

the main way

that the Holy Spirit

works in a Christian's life

is through a longer process.

I had a man

who assaulted me

in my office

quite a few years ago,

and I had to fire him

the next day.

Because he had

a very important

leadership role

in the church,

and it took me

at least 12 years

before I was able

to forgive him.

I had to pray

almost every day

that I would forgive him.

And then one day

he came to church,

and I realized

that I'd forgiven him.

That somewhere along

that line

I had forgiven him.

And a quest means

that it's not just

something you've done

in a moment.

And the second thing

about forgiveness

is that you have

to ask the Lord

to show you.

It's a good thing

to ask the Lord

to show you

who you need

to forgive.

If you are dealing

with regular grumpiness,

I have a shock for you.

Being grumpy

is not a fruit

of the Holy Spirit.

And if you have

a regular grumpiness,

it probably means

that you have someone

that you haven't forgiven

that you've got to forgive.

And I'd actually

also say this

to two other types

of people,

and I include myself

at this.

If you have a problem

with being very timid

and unable to confront,

it probably means

you have some unforgiveness

in your life

that you haven't dealt with.

If you are very overbearing

and violent with people,

it probably means

that there's some things

that you haven't forgiven.

And so it's a really good thing

under God

to just say,

Father,

I don't think

I have this unforgiven,

but no, Father,

I am grumpy so much.

And now George told me

it's not a fruit

of the Holy Spirit.

Dang.

So, Father,

please show me

who I have to forgive

or what I have to forgive.

And then, thirdly,

ask the Lord

to help you forgive.

He loves hearing

that prayer from us.

Ask the Lord

and say,

Lord,

I can't forgive this person.

I want to forgive them.

Help me to forgive.

And say that prayer every day

because here's the thing,

the final thing.

Seek to forgive

until you are free.

Seek to forgive

until you are free.

So just now,

that was the other thing.

A couple of things.

You know,

one simple thing,

especially if you're not a Christian

and you're not quite sure

if you want to bring Jesus into it,

everybody can pray this prayer.

Obviously,

Christians have it

in a far more powerful way.

God, teach me, lead me,

and help me to forgive

and fill in the blank.

But the thing I want to end us with,

if you could put up

the final prayer,

number 11,

if you could put that up.

Yeah, it's a bit of a thing.

This is how we're going to end.

You can sort of read that.

I'm going to invite you

to say this prayer out loud

for me,

with me.

I'm going to pray it too.

And it's just,

it's a prayer

that helps to encapsulate

our need for forgiveness

and just what Jesus

has done for us.

And I would suggest

that for some of us,

we could take a prayer like this,

maybe fill in particular

a certain spot,

like a little blank

about help me to forgive

a particular person.

But this expresses

the whole text.

And so I invite you to stand

as we bring this sermon

to a clode.

And if the Lord

has put it on your heart

to forgive,

then maybe you want to pray

this prayer with me.

And by the way,

if you have never given

your life to Jesus,

this can be your conversion prayer.

This can be the moment

that you ask Jesus

to engrave the gospel,

what,

who Jesus is

and what he did,

and engrave it,

write it right in your heart.

And it can be

your conversion prayer.

And for us,

it can be a prayer.

And for those of us

who are Christians,

it's a prayer of growth.

So please pray.

If the Lord puts it on you,

you don't have to pray it out loud.

If it's not,

it's not floating your canoe,

that's,

but if it's,

if the Lord has touched you today,

I invite you to pray this

along with me out loud.

Dear Lord,

I thank you that on the cross,

you paid all of the cost

and forgave the inexcusable wrong

that I am responsible for.

Please pour the Holy Spirit

deep within me

and engrave the gospel on my heart

so that I will remain yours forever

and forgive the inexcusable wrongs

done to me,

living free for your glory.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

A prayer that we can pray

the rest of our lives.

Father,

pour out the Holy Spirit upon us.

Pour out the Holy Spirit upon us.

Pour out the Holy Spirit upon us.

Draw us to Jesus.

Help us to remember who He is

and what He did for us on the cross.

And help us to remember it

more and more

and have that become

more and more real to who we are.

And we ask this in Jesus' name.

Amen.