Honouring Your Father and Mother

The scripture reading comes from Deuteronomy chapter 5. You can find the passage in your bulletin.

Deuteronomy 5 · chapter mention

Verse 1, And Moses summoned all Israel and said to them,

Hear, O Israel, the statues and the ruse I speak in your hearing today, and you shall learn them and be careful to do them.

Then in verse 6,

Observe the Sabbath day to keep it holy.

As the Lord your God commanded you.

Six days you shall labor and do all your work.

But the seventh day is the Sabbath to the Lord your God.

On it you shall not do any work.

You or your son or your daughter or your male servant or your female servant or your ox or your donkey or any of your livestock or the sojourner who is within your gates that your male servant and your female servant may rest as well as you.

You shall remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt.

And the Lord your God brought you out from there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm.

Therefore, the Lord your God commanded you to keep the Sabbath day.

Honor your father and your mother as the Lord your God commanded you that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God has given you.

You shall not murder.

Great.

Thank you so much, Sherman.

Thank you so much, Sherman.

It is so exciting to be back.

It's so great to be here together.

What I'd love us to do is just before I begin to share from this passage, I'd love us just to pray and ask God to really speak to us through this.

Father, we just thank you that when you speak, you call us to listen because you desire to love us through your word.

And you desire to change us through your word.

And you desire to make us into the people that you have created us to be through your word.

And I pray you would speak this morning.

Pray that you'd open our hearts to hear what you want us to hear.

Lord, remove anything that is not from you.

But I pray you'll come with power.

Take these simple words and let them just drive, be driven right into our hearts, Lord.

That we may love you more.

That we may truly worship you with every area of our lives, I pray.

In Jesus' name.

Amen.

Great.

So, we have been going through the Ten Commandments online.

Okay, who's been following online?

Okay, most of you.

So, you should know we've already gone through four of the commandments already.

And so, we're going to come to commandment number five, which is honor your father and mother.

So, before we start, what I'd like you to do is I'm going to do a poll.

Okay.

So, I want you to stand up if someone has experienced childbirth to bring you into the world.

Okay, there's a few people who clearly have not experienced, that didn't have any parents.

So, if you didn't stand up, then this sermon is completely irrelevant to you.

You can walk out right now.

You can sit down.

If you did stand up, then this sermon has great relevance to you.

Okay.

So, you just have to decide right now whether this is relevant or not.

Okay.

So, this command, I'm going to dive straight into looking at this command because I think

this has a real weight for all of us in where we are 2020 in Hong Kong.

Honor your father and mother.

First of all, what does that mean?

Well, the word honor literally means to be heavy or to give weight to someone.

So, it's saying you take treating your parents seriously.

It means giving your parents profound respect.

The opposite is to treat your parents lightly or to disrespect them as if they don't really

matter in your life.

And so, commentators have looked at this commandment and seen that it's actually a hinge commandment

between the first four commandments, which are really about your duty towards God, worshiping

him alone, having no other idols, honoring his name above all other names, and keeping the

Sabbath of worship to him.

The hinge and then moving on to the commands which really focus on duty towards your neighbor

and how you love your neighbor.

But this one comes in between them.

It's the way that you move from that upward focus to that horizontal focus.

And so, what you'll see is we move from loving God to loving other people through honoring

our parents.

Now, why does he do that?

Because your parents are the first and probably some of the most influential people that you've

encountered in your life.

And so, what you need to remember is God gave you your parents as a gift.

Okay?

Some of you, whether you like that or not, your parents didn't choose you.

Do you know that?

And you didn't choose your parents either.

And so, what that means is both ways, you are a gift to each other, but you are a broken

gift in different ways.

But God is in the redemption business.

So, what I want us to look at is the fact that this command is saying we don't honor our

parents because they deserve it.

They don't honor their parents because they deserve it.

Nowhere in scripture says you can only honor your parents if they've treated you really

well or if they've been so sacrificially loving to you.

It never says that anywhere.

Because what the parents, what the Bible says is, frankly, we live in a broken world where

some parents are not like that at all.

But the command comes to us even if you've been hurt by your parents.

And God takes that really seriously.

And we'll talk about that in a little bit.

But the command comes to us not to honor our parents because they merited it in some way,

but to honor them because in doing so we honor God who has given them to us as our parents,

as a gift.

And so, that is what we are called to do.

We're called to honor our parents.

But why should we have this command?

We honor them as we're honoring God.

And I'm going to stand up here as it's easier for me to, rather than looking over.

Why does God give us this command?

Well, there's three reasons.

Okay?

Three reasons that I think God gives this command.

The first reason is for our blessing.

You see what he says in the passage here.

He says,

Honor your father and mother, as the Lord commanded you,

that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that your Lord,

your God, is giving you.

You see what he says?

That it may go well with you.

Another way of saying it is that you may prosper in the land.

The Israelites are on the edge of the promised land.

They're about to go into this place of incredible blessing.

And God says, if you want to enjoy this land as I really want you to, then take this command seriously.

That actually the path of blessing for you is actually goes through this obedience to this commandment.

And it's not saying, hey, like everyone's going to live to 102 or something.

That's not the point of it.

The point is, this is for your blessing.

Paul says in Ephesians, this is the first command with a promise.

It's a promise of blessing for us.

Now, I don't know how many Disney movies you've watched,

but so many Disney movies have this idea that there is this kind of princess or this prince,

and the way that they're to get freedom and blessing in their life

is to get out of the restrictions of their controlling parents.

You know, think of like Snow White or Tangled or Little Mermaid or Cinderella.

All of them have that narrative.

This command is saying, no, the way to blessing isn't to get out from your parents.

It's actually to honor your parents.

And so what this means is you can be singing in church every Sunday.

You can be serving all you like.

You can be evangelizing out in the world.

But if you are not doing this commandment well, there's going to be a hole inside of your heart.

There's going to be a wound there where you are not going to experience the blessing that God wants for you.

There's going to be a spiritual stuntedness in your growth until this command is taken seriously.

And we know that just from psychology and sociology,

we know research shows that actually the parent-child relationship is essential for emotional health,

for mental health, for your own sense of identity.

It's also for wisdom and guidance.

Like, I would have made so many stupid mistakes if I hadn't listened to some things my parents had said.

And also for social support networks, you know, for like the elderly particularly.

Family is essential for creating a healthy, prospering society.

And God knows that.

That's why he gives us this command.

And if we don't take this command seriously, there's always going to be a shadow hanging over your life,

even if everything else is going well with you.

And you know that if you have a difficult relationship with your parents.

So he says it's for your blessing.

But also, he says, actually, secondly,

it's also dishonoring your parents brings curse or judgment.

Now, this is a bit harder.

But Deuteronomy 22 says that there's a rebellious son who is not listening to his parents.

And he's basically going off the rails.

And God says in Deuteronomy, he says,

listen, the punishment for that son, for the harm that he's doing on the community,

is death.

Now, that sounds pretty harsh.

But what he's saying on the point of it is,

willful disobedience against your parents not only destroys your own blessing,

but it can harm society and harm the relationships around you.

You know that.

If there is relational breakdown,

you know it affects the poverty levels of both young and old.

You know that?

It affects the burden on hospitals and on the welfare system is totally different.

Just think about the, you know, the cultural revolution.

Do you know when sons and daughters denounce their parents?

And you see the devastation it just brought in the whole of society.

God takes this really seriously.

In fact, in Romans 1, there's this passage where God goes through this list of things

where people are under his judgment.

And he goes, you know, people who are liars, people who are envious,

people who are gossips, people who are haters of God.

And you go, yeah, that sounds about right for people who are under God's judgment.

And then he goes, and those who are disobedient to their parents.

And you go, wow, God really takes this seriously.

So why is he giving the command?

He's giving it for our blessing.

But he's also giving it so that we avoid his judgment

and avoid harm and curse in our lives individually and as a society.

But thirdly, and more important, even more importantly than those,

is because it actually is a way that we worship and please God.

We worship and please God.

Colossians 3 verse 20 says this.

Colossians 3:20

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

I don't know, if you realize this, God gave the gift of your parents,

or gift of parents to teach us how to listen and how to respond to authority,

including God himself.

Because all of us are natural rebels.

Anyone not a rebel in any way?

All of us are in some ways.

And primarily we're rebels against God, naturally.

And where's the first place that you learn how to listen?

Because you know the true saying that you don't have to teach a child to disobey you.

They just do it naturally, right?

I've got an eight-month-old.

I know how it works.

But our parents were given to us so that they would be the first place we learn how to listen,

the first place we learn how to submit,

the first place we learn how to lay down our will and say yes to an authority figure over us.

And if you don't get to learn that,

just think what misery your kids are going to grow up with every teacher,

with every boss, everything the rest of their lives.

It would be miserable if you don't learn that.

And so what that means, if you are a parent,

it's actually really important that you know that God has given you your role,

not just to kind of get your kids a great education and get them a great start in life.

He's given you a role that your kids will learn to listen to God through listening to you.

Now that's not a stick to beat your kids up with,

but there is a responsibility that God gives to you

so that your kids will experience the goodness of God's rule

and the grace of listening and obedience to him through you.

It's serious.

I mean, in honoring our parents,

what we're doing is we are seeking to honor God

and honor the authority that he has placed over us,

and we want to please him above all else.

God's serious about families.

He wants us to honor him.

He wants our blessing.

He doesn't want our curse,

and he wants us to learn how to please him.

That's the why.

But what I want to go on to is how do we keep this?

And I'm going to spend more time on this section

because when we look at this,

I'm sure there's a thousand questions that just raise up in our minds as we hear this.

But we've got to listen first of all and see how Jesus actually treats this command.

So there's a couple of things that Jesus shows us of how he keeps us.

The first thing he shows us is how he holds this command in high regard.

I don't know if you know, Matthew 15,

there's this scenario where the Pharisees, the religious leaders,

are criticizing Jesus' disciples for not washing their hands.

And Jesus comes to them and says,

why do you break the commandment of God to honor your father and mother?

By what you do is you say,

hey, the money that you should give to your parents for supporting them,

you can give to us or you can give to the temple.

You don't have to support your parents,

and God will accept it.

It's fine.

And Jesus says, no way.

Your heart is far away from God's heart, he says.

And what he says is this.

He says, your support for your parents,

and Jesus is showing us this,

your support for your parents in their old age,

whether it's financially or in other ways,

is a key way that you honor God in that.

And in Hong Kong,

I think they actually do this much better than where I'm from.

So you see that Jesus takes it seriously.

At the cross,

Jesus' mission has reached its climax.

He is in utter agony.

He is emotionally exhausted.

He is taking the sins of the whole world on his shoulders.

This is the greatest moment in history.

And do you know what is right at the front of Jesus' mind?

At that moment,

his mother.

Because he looks and he sees his mother,

and he says to John, his disciple,

please take care of my mother.

Isn't that incredible?

At that ultimate moment,

he cares for his mother.

And John takes her in and looks after her.

You see,

Jesus is saying,

this is not just a cultural duty that you should do.

It is an act of worship to God,

because God is pleased with this.

And Jesus shows you that right in the hardest moment.

God has designed things so that the parents who looked after you

and took care of you when you were young,

that when they get old,

that we are to take care of them.

We're not meant to outsource all the care for our parents

just to elderly homes.

God designs it so that we have a responsibility.

And if I'm honest,

I really wrestle with this,

because my parents are in the UK,

and they're getting older.

And so we have to really wrestle with what that looks like in our situation.

I know many of you probably have similar wrestles.

But I want you to see Jesus take this seriously.

So he honors it.

But then I also want you to see a second thing that Jesus does.

This is really interesting.

He shows that honoring does not always mean obeying.

Here we go.

Some of you are going,

hmm, what's that about?

Some of you are going, yes.

Before you're getting too excited, Jillian,

we'll hear what the Bible says.

Jesus goes to celebrate the Passover in Jerusalem

when he's 12 years old with his whole family.

The whole village is going along.

And then Mary and Joseph are on their way back,

and they turn around,

and they realize, where's Jesus?

We've lost him.

And then they spend three days,

and they're stressed out of their minds,

trying to find Jesus.

And eventually, they come to the temple,

and there is Jesus.

And Mary goes to Jesus,

why are you treating us like this?

Didn't you know we've been looking for you everywhere?

We're so stressed.

How can you do this to us?

And Jesus, calm as you like, says,

didn't you know I had to be in my father's house?

He's going,

don't you realize that actually,

the worship of my heavenly father

has a priority,

even over following your wishes

in this moment.

But before you think Jesus is just being

a kind of rebellious,

not even a teenager yet,

he's 12,

he then,

the next line Luke says is,

and Jesus went to Nazareth with his parents

and was submissive to them.

Do you see that tension there?

You see,

his heart attitude as a child

is an attitude of submission,

but where there is a clash

between the ultimate allegiance

to his heavenly father

and the wishes of his parents,

he says,

no,

my heavenly father comes first.

Let me give you one more example.

Luke 8.

Jesus is teaching to the crowds

and his mother and his brother turn up

and they go,

hey,

we want to see you.

I think food's getting cold

or whatever it was.

And they say,

and Jesus says to them

and to the crowd

and everyone watching,

who are my mother and brothers?

Which is actually

totally culturally offensive.

Okay,

your mother and brothers are there.

He says,

no,

who are my mother and brothers?

The person who hears my word

and does it,

that's my mother and brothers.

Imagine the parents hearing that.

But Jesus is making a point.

He's saying

that your family identity,

your blood family ties

are important and significant,

but they are temporary.

But your spiritual family ties

are even more significant

because they're eternal.

and they're with me.

And so,

what Jesus is doing here,

he's showing you

that this tension,

that he is to honor your parents,

but also,

we are to allow God

to be the one

that we are honoring ultimately.

Now,

why is that significant?

significant?

It's significant

because

it's a challenge

both to Eastern culture

where we often idolize our parents,

and it's a challenge

to Western culture

where we idolize

our independence.

So,

I'll just give you

an example of this.

When Fiona and I

were dating,

and we'd known each other

a long time,

so we were looking to get married

actually quite early on

because we'd been together

for a long time

as friends.

And Fiona told her

her parents this,

and they flipped out.

For 10 months,

her dad didn't speak to her.

Her mom would ring up

very emotional

at 2 a.m. in the morning

saying,

you cannot marry Chris.

And

me as an independent

Westerner,

I was going,

well,

we're trying to honor God

in this.

We're not going to let

your parents control us

in this.

We

mustn't be slaves

to the kind of

idolatrous,

sinful expectations

of your parents.

Let's just go ahead

and do it anyway.

But then the

Eastern kind of side

goes,

but actually,

your parents

have given you everything.

Like,

you owe them

your life.

Like,

they've invested in you,

so you've got to

actually almost

pay them back.

So you can't rebel

against them.

You've just got to,

honoring them

means you do what

they want

and what they wish.

And so there was

this tension

that we felt.

And so,

how do we get

through this?

Well,

we're wrestling.

What does it mean

to honor our parents

without just being

independent,

but also not being a

slave to their

expectations?

And so,

what do we do?

We asked a lot of

people for advice.

And then,

we decided

we'd be patient.

So,

I moved to Hong Kong

and I spent

every week

for one year

going to Delhi,

France in Tune 1,

meeting my future

mother-in-law

and her speaking

Cantonese to me

and me just

nodding and smiling,

not understanding

anything that she

was talking about,

but because

I wanted her

to see that

actually I was

investing in her

and she was

important.

I wanted to

honor her

by trying to

listen to her

and engage

with her.

But after about

a year or so

of this,

we came to the

point where we

really felt God

actually saying,

actually,

you've been waiting

long enough

and I feel like

you're actually

more a slave

to what your

parents are

thinking.

So,

we ended up

after a lot

of discussion,

we then went

back and

Fiona went to

her mom

and asked her

if we could

get married.

And if they

had said no

at that point,

I think in our

hearts we would

have prayed about

it,

but we would

probably have

said,

actually,

I think we've

honored you

and really been

trying to do

what's right,

but we will

go ahead anyway

because we believe

that honors God

first.

but we didn't

do that lightly

because we need

to see that in

our own hearts,

I can be

idolatrous in

both ways,

independent or

in slavery,

but God calls

us to take this

command seriously

and actually,

by the way,

as you may well

know,

they said yes

and we've got a

great relationship

with them.

But here's the

crucial thing,

you place your

parents and their

wishes first and

you will idolize

them.

And you know,

if you ever get

married,

and that's still

the case,

you will destroy

your marriage

because your

spouse will

always know that

your parents have

a greater voice

than your spouse

has in your

marriage and

they'll feel

that.

But also,

if you honor

God first,

it will humble

your independence

and it will make

you seek to love

and honor them

when even at

times that may

lead to conflict,

but you don't do

that lightly.

So how do we

honor our parents

well without

idolizing them?

How do you get

that tension

right?

Because actually,

there's so many

emotions with our

parents,

aren't there?

I think the

key to this

is to realize

one very important

thing.

Your parents

are not God.

your parents

can never

fulfill

what God

has said

that he will

fulfill.

You see,

your parents

will always

disappoint you

in some way,

but God

will never

disappoint you.

You know,

when you're a kid,

you think your

parents can do

nothing wrong.

When you're a

teenager,

you wonder if

they can ever

do anything

right.

But actually,

you know that

as you go

through life,

some of us

wanted our

parents to

accept us

and they

rejected us

or they were

absent.

Some of us

wanted our

parents to

listen to us

and understand

us and they

just didn't

get you.

Or they were

too busy for

you.

Some of us

have been

disappointed

because they

broke promises.

And even

if you have

amazing parents,

like I've got

pretty good

parents,

here's a truth,

your parents

are sinners.

And so are

you, by the

way.

But God

gave you

your parents

to make you

long for

the perfect

parent,

your heavenly

father.

You see,

John chapter

John 13 · chapter mention

13,

there's this

beautiful verse

which says,

Jesus says,

I will not

leave you

as orphans,

but I will

come to you.

If your

parents have

abandoned you,

God says,

I will never

leave you

alone.

Today,

I want to

come to

you,

whatever your

circumstance.

Romans 8

says this,

we do not

have a spirit

that makes us

a slave

again to

fear,

but we have

the spirit

of adoption

as sons

and daughters

by whom

we cry

Abba,

Father.

You know,

when my

eight-year-old

son cries,

doesn't matter

where he is

in the room,

my ears

prick up

and I'm

going to run

to where he

is straight

away to see

what's wrong.

Your heavenly

father is a

billion times

more attentive

to your cry

than I could

ever be.

he hears

you,

he knows

you,

and he

cares for

you.

Parents may

disappoint,

but your

heavenly father

will always

be faithful

to you.

You know,

the thing

that gives

God the

greatest

happiness,

the thing

that he

thinks is

the most

amazing thing

that he

can do,

that he

gets excited

about,

isn't to

point out

all your

mistakes.

It isn't

to go,

oh,

I've got to

love you

because I'm

God,

but,

you know,

if you keep

doing what

you're doing,

then maybe

that might

be in doubt

in a few

weeks'

time.

That's not

what excites

him.

What excites

him is to

pour out

his compassion

and his

love and

his mercy

on rebellious

children like

you and

me,

again and

again and

again and

again and

he gets

excited about

it.

You know

the prodigal

son story?

You know

that story

where the

son has

rebelled

against his

family and

then he

comes back

and he

prepares this

little speech

because he

thinks,

okay,

maybe I

can get

my father

to accept

me if I

just kind

of make

an

explanation.

And he

gets back

and while

he's a

long way

off,

the father

sees him

and doesn't

go,

oh,

what have I

got to

say to him

now?

He

runs

with his

arms open

and the

guy starts

preparing his

little speech

and he cuts

him short

and he wraps

his arms

around and

says,

let's have

a party.

That's what

your heavenly

father is

like.

That's the

heart of

God.

That's who

we have to

find our

rest and

our security

and our

hope in

because if

we do

not,

then we

will look

for it in

other places

and even

look for it

in our

parents.

And that

will always

hurt you.

Some of us,

our view of

God as

father has

been colored

by our

own

parents.

But what

God wants

to do is

to let your

view of who

God is

reshape the

way that you

relate to

your parents

out of a

security and

a love.

And so I'm

going to give

you some

practical steps

in how we

honor our

parents in a

minute.

But all

of these

are useless.

Maybe not

useless, but

they're going

to be so

less effective

unless you

know that

God doesn't

love you

because he

has to.

That God

loves you

because he

loves to.

And out

of that

knowledge,

that's the

security with

which you can

do these

things that I'm

going to share

with you right

now.

when you

are a kid,

honoring

fundamentally

means obeying

what your

parents tell

you, even

if you don't

like it.

Unless they're

telling you to

do something

that God has

told you not

to do.

But as you

grow through

the teenage

years and

become an

adult,

honoring your

parents begins

to look a

little bit

different in

different ways.

And so here

are some

ways that I

want to just

give you four

or five ways

that we can

actually learn

how to honor

our parents.

Here's some

practical things.

The first

one, and

this is huge,

forgive our

parents.

Do you know,

I think one

of the biggest

reasons we

struggle with

this command

is because

all of us

in some way

have been

wounded by our

parents.

Some of it

may be a

scratch,

some of it

may be a

very deep

wound in our

hearts.

But the

thing is,

like, I

hardly meet a

person in

Hong Kong

who hasn't

got some

family hurt

in their

life.

It was

emotional

absence,

they never

said I

love you,

there was

all this

kind of

expectations

placed on

you,

you never

felt that

you could

meet up to

the requirements

that were

expected,

a whole

load of

things,

even abuse

and harshness

and criticalness.

God doesn't

take those

wounds lightly.

That's why

he died for

you.

Because he

wants to

die for

you,

he died

for you

so he

can heal

you.

But some

of us

have been

masking over

those wounds

inside with

busyness,

with a whole

load of

things we've

been trying

to do in

our lives

just to

cover over

the fact

that we

actually have

deep wounds

from our

parents in

our hearts.

And we're

I think

God wants

today to

say to

some of

you,

stop

pretending

it's

fine.

I want

to take

off that

band-aid,

that plaster,

that bandage,

and I want

to bring

healing to

you.

But the

way I

want to

do that

is through

forgiveness.

You see,

forgiveness

is a

release from

the cage

of idolizing

our parents.

Do you

know,

what I mean

by that is

you idolize

your parents

when you

put too

much weight

on their

words or

their actions,

more weight

than you

put on what

Jesus says

about you

and what

Jesus has

done for

you.

And so

today we're

going to

have some

people who

will be up

to pray

with you.

If you

know that

actually there's

areas in

your life

where you

need to

work through

some forgiveness

with your

parents,

I want you

to come up

afterwards for

prayer.

Don't run

away,

don't go

another day

without dealing

with it.

Because this

is so serious

because God

wants your

blessing in

life.

And some

of those

wounds may

be very

deep.

And it's

not going to

be a quick

fix.

You need

some people

to journey

with you.

And I

want you to

come up and

talk to me

or talk to

Kevin or

Sylvie or a

CG leader or

one of the

other elders.

But don't go

away with a

festering wound

because that's

only going to

infect for

longer.

Yeah.

God wants

to bless

us.

He wants

to do it

through forgiving

our parents.

Secondly,

he wants

us to

honor our

parents through

saying sorry.

This is a

hard one.

You know,

I was talking

to someone the

other day who

said they

still had just

some real

issues with

their dad.

And God

just kind of

convicted them

in their own

heart of how

they've been

disrespecting their

father even

though there's

just been a

lot of tension.

And so they

went to their

father.

They rang him

up and said

dad I just

want to say

I'm really

sorry that I've

actually disrespected

you in different

ways in life.

And normally

the dad would

kind of just

brush it off or

do something like

that but he

didn't this time.

He actually

responded by

saying yeah

and I'm sorry

for some of

the things I've

done.

And there was

a beginning of

a healing process

which is what

God loves to do

in our family.

Do you see

saying sorry

is such a

powerful way

of honoring

God and

honoring our

parents.

Some of you

may need to do

that through

writing a letter

to them.

Some of you

may need to do

that personally.

And even if

you don't get a

great response

do it anyway

to honor Jesus.

Say sorry.

Third thing

say thank you.

You know

every birthday

every mother's

or father's

day

I write

well I've

actually

I've written

songs for my

parents.

I've written

letters to my

parents.

Poems to my

parents.

But often

one of the

things I'll do

is I'll write a

card and I'll

just say I

will detail the

things that

actually I really

appreciate about

them.

Make a list

of them.

You know I've

actually run out

of things because

I've done it so

often I've actually

I'm trying to

search my memory

for like more

things I can say.

Like mom I

thank you so

much that you

actually when we

had meals you

always served

everybody else

first before

yourself even

when we were

ungrateful.

Thank you.

Do you know

how powerful that

is?

And what you

can do is

father's day

coming up soon.

Write something

down and you

can even read

it out to

them.

I guarantee

God will use

that in a

powerful way.

Say thank

you.

Forgive.

Say sorry.

Say thank

you.

Ask them for

advice.

You know if

you're a youth

here even if

you've got the

most messed up

parents in the

world they

probably still

have quite a lot

of insight into

you.

So don't think

that your parents

actually are just

kind of annoying

old whatevers

fill in the

blank.

Your parents

actually know

you better than

you think they

do.

That doesn't

mean you have

to agree with

everything they

say.

But ask them

for advice.

That's a way to

honour them.

Finally pray for

them and look to

bless them.

How often do you

pray for your

parents?

Really how often

do you pray for

them?

Because when you

begin to pray

then you begin to

look for opportunities

to bless them.

Because some of us

actually we can be

dutiful children.

We've been dutiful

for a long time.

God doesn't just

want us to be

dutiful children.

He wants us to be

loving children who

are actively looking

to bless our

parents.

And I don't know

what that looks

like for you.

It's not just going

through the motions

of family meals.

It's actually looking

how can I show

the kindness

that God has

shown to me

to my parents.

Honour your

father and mother

that it may go

well with you.

That your days

may be long.

Because we have

a great heavenly

father who loves

us and he wants

us to be a conduit

of his blessing

to our families.

Let me just pray

for us.

And we're going

to come and take

communion in a

minute.

I want to invite

the communion

stewards to come

up.

But right now I

want you just to

think of what is

God saying to you?

How are you doing

with your own

parents?

Even as you think

about some of the

things that have

happened in the

past, where's your

heart towards them?

Maybe you need to

repent of the way

you've treated them

or ignored them.

Maybe you need to

repent of idolizing

them.

Maybe you just need

to come honestly

before God and just

to be real about how

you feel about them.

Maybe you need to

be more active in

just saying thank

you.

Just ask the Holy

Spirit just to work

in your heart and

just respond in prayer

to him right now.

Möglichkeit he

just had to

oppose

a

man

who

you

in

and

who

have

this

We're going to come to take communion in a minute.

But communion is a time for rebellious children.

For those of us who have treated our heavenly father badly, we haven't honored him.

But there's a time where he shows you that your parents may have sacrificed a lot for you.

They may be willing to give their lives for you.

But they've never given their life like Christ has given his life for you.

So that he can pour his love and his healing and his blessing into your life.

To draw you back to himself.

Your parents' love does not define you.

If you're a Christian and you put your faith in Christ, his love, his father heart for you defines you.

Father, we just pray that you would speak into our hearts.

Heal our hearts where we are wounded.

Encourage our hearts where we are indifferent.

Fill our hearts with your love and your forgiveness that we can forgive with your grace.

And as we take communion, I pray, Lord, that you would just minister again your kindness to us.

That we are not orphans.

But we are sons and daughters of the King.

In Jesus' name.

Amen.