Sermon

Created for Relationship

St Columba's Free Church - Sermons

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  1. All right, we're gonna read together from the Old Testament,

  2. from Genesis chapter two, verses 18 to 25.

  3. And this is God's holy word to us this morning.

  4. Then the Lord God said,

  5. "'It is not good that man should be alone.

  6. "'I will make him a helper fit for him.'

  7. "'Now out of the ground, the Lord God had formed

  8. "'every beast to the field and every bird of the heavens

  9. "'and brought them to the man to see what he would call them.

  10. "'And whatever the man called every living creature,

  11. "'that was its name.

  12. "'The man gave names to all livestock

  13. "'and to the birds of the heavens

  14. "'and to every beast of the field, but for Adam.

  15. "'There was not found a helper fit for him.'

  16. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man,

  17. and while he slept, he took one of his ribs

  18. and closed up its place with flesh.

  19. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man

  20. he made into a woman and brought her to the man.

  21. And then the man said,

  22. "'This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.

  23. "'She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.

  24. "'Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother

  25. "'and hold fast to his wife,

  26. "'and they shall become one flesh.

  27. "'And the man and his wife were both naked

  28. "'and were not ashamed.'"

  29. This is God's holy word.

  30. We are working our way through a series

  31. on Genesis one and two,

  32. and we're at the very end today of Genesis chapter two.

  33. And when we came to Genesis two,

  34. we started looking at it through the lens

  35. of Genesis one, 26 to 28,

  36. where it says that every single human

  37. was made in God's image.

  38. And so we were all made in the image of God,

  39. and we have dignity.

  40. We bear dignity being made in God's image.

  41. No matter what you believe in,

  42. no matter your socioeconomic background,

  43. your race, your cultural background,

  44. no matter what you've done in this life,

  45. you are made in God's image.

  46. You have dignity and value because of that.

  47. And in chapter two, really chapter two in some sense,

  48. just explains what it means to be made in God's image.

  49. And so to be made in God's image first means

  50. that we were made for deep,

  51. abiding relationship with God.

  52. And so the very first part of Genesis two

  53. is that we were made to enter into God's Sabbath rest.

  54. Deep relationship, that's the first thing.

  55. The second thing is that we're also made by God

  56. in his image to work, to take dominion,

  57. the text tells us over land and sea and sky

  58. and the other creatures to make things.

  59. We talked about last week being culture makers

  60. that were made to make things like God's subcreators

  61. as Tolkien put it.

  62. And we can lack fulfillment in that

  63. by either underworking or overworking

  64. in either direction, depending on self,

  65. not looking to God as the ultimate boss in our lives.

  66. And then this week, the final piece,

  67. what does it mean to be made in God's image?

  68. It means that you're created for relationships.

  69. And so right there in the heart of Genesis one, 26 to 28,

  70. one of the very first things we're told is that

  71. as soon as we're told God made us in his image,

  72. it then says, comma, male and female, he created them.

  73. So the image of God is upon every person, male and female,

  74. men and women, boys and girls,

  75. from the very beginning as soon as we're told image of God

  76. we're immediately told people collectively,

  77. not just one, but community,

  78. that the image of God is a collective image,

  79. that not a single one of us can ever bear the weight

  80. of being the fullness of God's image.

  81. Of course not, no.

  82. Instead, we need everybody to do that together,

  83. men and women, both genders,

  84. we are collectively made in God's image

  85. and that means that we're made for community.

  86. We see that right out of the gate.

  87. And that's what we're gonna think about today.

  88. Ultimately Genesis two is indeed about marriage,

  89. absolutely couldn't be clearer.

  90. But I want to, we, if you've been around Sancti's

  91. for a while in the spring on Mark chapter 10,

    Mark 10 chapter mention

  92. we looked at marriage pretty closely.

  93. So you can go back and have a look at that if you want.

  94. And I think probably in the near future

  95. we will do a series on marriage.

  96. And so what I wanna do today is talk about marriage

  97. to a degree but also broaden out

  98. and look at the fact that Genesis two also simply teaches us

  99. that we're made for relationships in general.

  100. Jean-Paul Sartre, a French philosopher

  101. from the mid 20th century,

  102. he wrote a play in 1944 titled No Exit

  103. and he's become famous for one quote from that play.

  104. He said, he writes in the play, hell is other people.

  105. And in it, since then Sartre has been labeled

  106. as a pessimist towards human relationships.

  107. What did he mean by hell is other people?

  108. People said well surely Sartre thought

  109. that human relationships are the worst part of life.

  110. And Sartre commented on that.

  111. He said, you know, most of our relationships

  112. are conflict and tension most of the time.

  113. And interviewed later after the fact

  114. that people were saying well Sartre is just a pessimist

  115. about relationships he came in, he writes this,

  116. this is a paraphrase, he says, if I situate myself

  117. if I situate myself in total dependence on other people

  118. my relationships will be bad.

  119. If I situate myself and make myself dependent

  120. on the judgment of other people,

  121. finding my identity and what everybody else says about me

  122. my relationships will always be bad.

  123. And he said I'm not negative about relationships

  124. but I'm trying to highlight the capital importance

  125. of getting them right.

  126. And this is what he writes, the difference

  127. in a bad relationship and a good relationship

  128. is the difference in enslavement and liberation.

  129. And now if you turn on the news this week,

  130. probably some of you did, you will have read stories

  131. about murder, you will have read stories

  132. about farmers protesting taxes on farmers,

  133. you will have read stories about 58 year old boxers

  134. fighting 27 year old YouTube stars.

  135. And that's all stuff that's happening around the world

  136. but you will have, you will not, you will definitely not

  137. have read the stories of the real stuff of life.

  138. And the stories of the real stuff of life

  139. are the stories of relationships.

  140. And you won't have read any stories that say,

  141. you know, John and Sally had a broken marriage

  142. and after two years of working through counseling together

  143. and a lot of tears, they are healing.

  144. And you won't have read any stories in the news

  145. about Rebecca and Louise, a strange sisters,

  146. haven't spoken in 10 years.

  147. And Louise called Rebecca and asked forgiveness

  148. for that one thing she said that one time

  149. and they're having Christmas together

  150. for the first time in a decade.

  151. Now these are made up stories and names, okay?

  152. So don't, you know, I see some of you kind of looking

  153. around wondering who is this in here

  154. that he's talking about.

  155. No, these are all completely fictional.

  156. Though very real.

  157. You won't hear a story about Noah,

  158. the coolest kid at the high school,

  159. who befriended Leon, a kid who had no friends,

  160. whereby Leon, who was pulled out of depression,

  161. his whole life trajectory changed

  162. and Noah didn't even know about it.

  163. He was just kind to him.

  164. What we're being told here, what Sartre was pointing out,

  165. what Genesis one and two get out is that

  166. relationships are the real stuff of life.

  167. These are the real stories.

  168. They're the most important thing.

  169. And here in this passage, we've got

  170. this grand juxtaposition before us and that's,

  171. well, I'm sure for you, like for me,

  172. the best parts of life, when you think about

  173. the best parts of life, the deepest joys you have,

  174. it is in your relationships with particular people.

  175. And when you think about the most vulnerable you feel,

  176. the biggest wounds that you may carry,

  177. it is because of your relationships with particular people

  178. and often that's the same person

  179. that carries the power of both.

  180. And so let me point out to you three lines,

  181. three phrases in this passage, Genesis two,

  182. that I think open up for us the deeper meaning

  183. of relationships and here they are.

  184. The first one is God says it is not good.

  185. Secondly, Adam says at last,

  186. bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh.

  187. And then finally, they were naked and not ashamed.

  188. Those three elements, let's think about it.

  189. First, what were we made for?

  190. God says at the beginning of this passage in chapter two,

  191. verse 18, that there is something not good.

  192. What is not good?

  193. If you've been with us through this Genesis series,

  194. chapter one and two, in Genesis one, six times,

  195. God says, let there be.

  196. And then he looks at what he made and it says,

  197. and it was good.

  198. And then the seventh time after he makes human beings,

  199. he looked at the whole of creation and he says,

  200. and it is very good.

  201. And then you come down to chapter two, verse 18,

  202. and realize there is one moment in an age of perfection,

  203. in an age without sin, in an age where there was no rebellion

  204. against God at all, God looks and says,

  205. but there's something not good here.

  206. And he says it is not good that a man,

  207. that a person should be alone.

  208. Wow, before anything was ever wrong with the world,

  209. there was one thing that was not okay.

  210. And that was that humans would be by themselves,

  211. that a man should be alone.

  212. There had to be more people.

  213. And it's astounding to note it's not just that Adam said,

  214. thank you Lord for all the things you've made,

  215. I really like Eden, it's pretty great.

  216. But I'm pretty lonely.

  217. And that's not what the text says.

  218. Instead it says that God looked at creation.

  219. And God said it is not good that man should be alone.

  220. Far before Adam ever even realized it.

  221. And that means something pretty astounding.

  222. It means that God is saying,

  223. God is saying, look,

  224. what does it mean to be met in the image of God?

  225. You cannot have a fulfilling life.

  226. Not truly, not ultimately,

  227. without pursuing the very thing you were made for.

  228. And that is a deep and lasting relationship

  229. with the living God.

  230. And the living God who made you for his eternal rest

  231. comes and says, and you need more.

  232. And you need something else.

  233. You need other humans, you need community.

  234. You need to find your ultimate rest in God

  235. and you need human community.

  236. You need deep, abiding, living,

  237. relational community in your life.

  238. You need both.

  239. And so we talked about a few weeks ago

  240. that in Genesis 1, 26 to 28,

  241. God says, let us make man in our image.

  242. And it's a reference to God's ultimate relationality.

  243. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, relationship.

  244. God is relational from eternity.

  245. And then he makes us in his image

  246. and we turn and now he says to us,

  247. and you are relational.

  248. Everlasting, well, you have to be.

  249. You need community.

  250. He's made us to be like him.

  251. Now, let me give you three things, applications,

  252. and they're very fast.

  253. One, that means our relationships with other people

  254. are far more important than we act like.

  255. Far more important than we treat them.

  256. Secondly, it means that we probably

  257. are more isolationist than we think,

  258. than is good for us.

  259. We probably tend to isolate more than God made us to.

  260. And that means that you can be married

  261. and still be an isolationist, still be alone.

  262. Just like you can be single and be alone.

  263. And the way that happens is that isolationism is a product

  264. of our treating this life in self-sufficiency,

  265. self-rule.

  266. I can do it myself.

  267. Self-righteousness, I think you might subtly think

  268. in the bottom of your heart that you're better

  269. than other people.

  270. And so you've always kept your relationships

  271. at a distance.

  272. Any turn towards self is a turn towards isolationism.

  273. And in the modern culture that we live in,

  274. we all are probably a bit more isolationist

  275. than we think we are.

  276. You can be in what seems like a very healthy marriage,

  277. but still be distant.

  278. Not actually walking in deep community,

  279. not actually letting somebody else in your life

  280. truly know you.

  281. And so third, finally, that means that we are,

  282. in some sense, products of our culture.

  283. And we've gotta be aware of that.

  284. And in a city like Edinburgh,

  285. one of the great cities of the world,

  286. a place that has some of the highest educational standards

  287. in all the world, there are lots of people

  288. that come to this city, a lot of people in this room,

  289. and you move here because you want to earn,

  290. you want to gain marketable skills

  291. so that you can go out and get a great job.

  292. And if you go to university at a place like University

  293. of Edinburgh or anywhere else, for example,

  294. you know what they're gonna tell you?

  295. They're gonna tell you, listen,

  296. I know that calculus is important on day one of calculus,

  297. but they're gonna say, but the most important thing

  298. to remember no matter what your grade is

  299. in this calculus course is that your relationships

  300. are far more serious than calculus in your career.

  301. Right?

  302. No, no, that was a joke.

  303. No, no, no, you will never hear that

  304. in the classroom at the University of Edinburgh, right?

  305. You will never hear that in the city.

  306. Nobody will ever tell you in a city like Edinburgh,

  307. hey, the most important thing for you to have a healthy life

  308. is to focus on your relationships more than your career.

  309. But the Bible says in human experience proves

  310. that that is exactly what's true.

  311. Relationships are the real stuff of life.

  312. Secondly, what were we made for?

  313. God said it's not good that we should be alone.

  314. Secondly, we read here the second phrase is,

  315. at last, bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh.

  316. Now, really the heartbeat of this passage

  317. is the focus on the creation of Eve.

  318. And we see that first it tells us that,

  319. we looked at this last week,

  320. but that all these animals were brought to Adam

  321. and he named them, he had a particular culture-making power

  322. in that, and yet none of them were found a helper fit for him.

  323. Now, one of the things we learned first,

  324. let's get straight to the application,

  325. pets are not enough, okay?

  326. You can love your pet,

  327. but humans are, you need real human community,

  328. pets are not enough, all right?

  329. That's the silly application, but it's true.

  330. God created Eve, and we read about that here.

  331. And in verse 19, it says that,

  332. out of the ground, every creature was formed.

  333. Now, God raised up in the beginning,

  334. creatures from material stuff,

  335. including Adam, Adam was made from the ground,

  336. we looked at that a couple weeks ago.

  337. But when it comes to the final moment of the creation act,

  338. Eve is not made from the ground.

  339. So Adam was made from the ground,

  340. all the creatures were made from the ground,

  341. we're told that very explicitly,

  342. but there was one creature that was not made from the ground

  343. but was made from something different, something greater.

  344. And we read about that here in verse 19 and 20.

  345. So Adam was looking for a helper fit for him.

  346. And this language of helper is a relational term.

  347. I really like a couple of the commentators,

  348. the scholars that talk about this,

  349. they say that another way to translate the word helper here

  350. is Adam could not find one that was quote,

  351. suitable for the task of companionship.

  352. Or another way to say it is Adam could not find one

  353. that was a corresponding companion

  354. that could truly offer to him a relationship

  355. that would make him whole, that would fulfill him.

  356. So there is not a single sense in Hebrew of this word being,

  357. anything like subordinate or anything else

  358. that's not what the word refers to.

  359. It's here used to say, Adam could not find one

  360. that was fit for him, another human being.

  361. And that's what the word means.

  362. And the word helper actually most often

  363. in the Old Testament is used of God.

  364. That's the one who helper is most often ascribed to.

  365. And so in Psalm 33 we read, God my helper,

  366. or we often translate it, God my help, same word,

  367. my help and my shield.

  368. The one who I am most suitable for

  369. and is most suitable to me,

  370. the one whose relationship I need the most.

  371. That's the concept of helper here.

  372. And so in verse 21, to find the helper,

  373. the one who would fulfill Adam and whom Adam could fulfill,

  374. a true companion, God put Adam to sleep.

  375. And then the text says that he took one of his ribs.

  376. The Hebrew word there just means side,

  377. often translated as rib,

  378. but it is often used this word for a building.

  379. It's an architectural term.

  380. So it's used in other places in the Old Testament

  381. to talk about the side of a building.

  382. In other words, took part of him.

  383. God took part of Adam and formed Eve.

  384. And that means that we're being told here

  385. a couple of things that are really important.

  386. One is that Adam came from the dust.

  387. He came from the ground,

  388. like all the other creatures, but Eve,

  389. she was formed from the greater substance.

  390. She came from a human being.

  391. And that means that we're reading here

  392. about the climactic moment of creation.

  393. The climax of creation is the creation of Eve,

  394. pinnacle creature in the creation story.

  395. This is the biggest point, the most climactic moment.

  396. This would be the most teary and wonderful part

  397. of any movie that you might be watching.

  398. And that's why when God the Father

  399. brings her to Adam down that first aisle of marriage

  400. in the Garden of Eden, he says, at last, at last.

  401. Not only has he found a companion fit for him,

  402. but also this is the climactic moment

  403. of the creation story, seeing Eve,

  404. the greatest moment in the story.

  405. And then that means, secondly,

  406. that this is telling us that relationship,

  407. human relationship is the most climactic event

  408. in the creation story, that God says now,

  409. now that you can abide in deep community together,

  410. you are finally filled, made for who you were made for.

  411. Now, this is certainly about marriage, of course.

  412. Marriage, a covenantal relationship

  413. between a man and a woman.

  414. God instituted prior to all civil governments

  415. and anything they might say about it.

  416. But I wanna broaden out and just say that

  417. this also teaches us about relationships in general,

  418. beyond just marriage.

  419. What do we see here?

  420. Very quickly.

  421. When Eve was made from him,

  422. and that means that in Ephesians 5,

  423. when Paul talks about what a great marriage looks like,

  424. he says a great marriage is to treat somebody

  425. so much so that, like they are a part of you,

  426. that Paul says you love them more

  427. than you love your own body.

  428. And we see in the beginning that she actually

  429. came from him.

  430. And deep abiding relationships expressed

  431. most pinnically in marriage, but also in friendship,

  432. to a degree, are when you treat somebody,

  433. you are so for them, it's as if you love them

  434. more than you love yourself.

  435. Like they are, like you love them more

  436. than you love your own body, as Paul puts it,

  437. in Ephesians chapter 5.

    Ephesians 5 chapter mention

  438. The other thing we see here is in order

  439. for her to be created, for him to find a true companion,

  440. Adam had to lose something.

  441. So before there was ever anything wrong with the world,

  442. what happened?

  443. Adam went down.

  444. He went to sleep, this metaphor.

  445. This metaphor of almost death.

  446. He didn't die, no, but in a world before

  447. Sinnevere was even there, Adam went down

  448. in sort of an act of sacrifice.

  449. He, something was taken from him for the sake of another,

  450. and we see that even from the beginning,

  451. before there was anything wrong in this world,

  452. before there was even death, there's still this statement

  453. that sacrifice is at the heart of deep

  454. and abiding relationship.

  455. That giving something away is what it means to be

  456. in a true and final and ultimate covenant relationship.

  457. Giving away is not just costly, it's joyful.

  458. That's what we see here from the very beginning.

  459. And that means that what we're being told

  460. is that a covenant relationship is to give yourself away

  461. to somebody else for the sake of another

  462. to the point of loss.

  463. That you're willing to go even all the way,

  464. and so Ephesians 5 picks up on that,

  465. it says ultimately express a marriage,

  466. but even in any covenantal relationship,

  467. like a friendship, true love is to covenant to somebody

  468. to the degree that you are willing to give yourself away

  469. to them to the point of loss, of sacrifice.

  470. Philippians 2 picks up on this,

  471. think of others as more important than yourselves.

  472. Boy, Jonathan David, what a friendship,

  473. in 1 Samuel 18, Jonathan pledged to give his own life

  474. to protect David's life.

  475. Covenant friendship,

  476. pinnically expressed in marriage,

  477. but not exclusively not at all.

  478. You can be married, you can be single,

  479. and you can still pursue the depth of relationship

  480. that's being talked about here,

  481. because the best marriage is also a friendship.

  482. And the pinnacle relationship in some sense

  483. across the Bible is expressed

  484. whenever friendship enters the room.

  485. And Paul was single,

  486. and Christianity revolutionized the status of singleness

  487. in all of world history.

  488. Married or single, you can have relationships like this

  489. in your life, that's what we're being told.

  490. And so we need, and let's move on

  491. to the final thing, we need two things.

  492. We need a deep and abiding relationship

  493. with the living God, that's what we were made for.

  494. And you need a deep and abiding relationship

  495. with another human being, that's friendship.

  496. And that's available to anyone, married or single.

  497. We get this wrong in a couple ways.

  498. Let me ask you, let me do this first.

  499. What is your relational reality today?

  500. What are your relationships like right now in your life?

  501. There is, every single one of us in this room knows

  502. that there are multiple ways to wound relationships.

  503. And so nobody comes into church today

  504. with the same exact situation of the joys and the wounds

  505. that you may have through your relationships

  506. with one another, we're all different.

  507. But Christianity I think shows us, the Bible shows us

  508. that most importantly, to seek healthy relationships,

  509. healthy relationships in your life,

  510. you need to first have a deep and abiding relationship

  511. with the living God, and then out of that

  512. have a covenant relationship with somebody else

  513. in your life, a covenant, not a contract.

  514. Here's the formula for something like that.

  515. Do you, do you treat the people in your life

  516. in your life that God has given you

  517. that are most important as covenantal relationships,

  518. not contractual relationships?

  519. A contractual relationship is one where you go to boots,

  520. let's say, and you pick up at the counter

  521. the pack of gum, extra gum, the little pack, 16 pieces.

  522. I know it very well.

  523. Coolment, experiment, whatever you like,

  524. and you take it to the counter and the cashier says,

  525. that'll be 25 pounds.

  526. And you say, for this pack of gum, 25 pounds.

  527. Now immediately what's happened is you've entered

  528. into a contractual relationship with that person.

  529. They're saying to you, if you will give me 25 pounds,

  530. I will let you have this pack of 16 pieces of extra gum.

  531. And of course, what do you say?

  532. You say, no chance, 25 pounds for this little pack of gum,

  533. there's not a chance in the world that I'm gonna buy this.

  534. And you say, the contract has ended.

  535. I am leaving now.

  536. This was a this for that relationship.

  537. And if you cannot meet your end of the bargain,

  538. I don't want any part of this.

  539. You see the difference in contractual

  540. and covenantal relationships,

  541. or in a contractual relationship,

  542. which we have all around us all the time,

  543. it is entirely a this for that exchange.

  544. In other words, I come to this relationship

  545. to receive a benefit and value added from you.

  546. And if you cannot give that to me, I'm walking.

  547. If the price is too high, I will leave.

  548. If I don't get from this what I need from this,

  549. then I'm leaving.

  550. That's contract.

  551. God says, friend, do you have in your life

  552. a covenant relationship?

  553. And a covenant relationship is one where you look out

  554. and say, even to the point of great loss,

  555. I will give myself away to make that person great.

  556. A covenant relationship is where you get so outside

  557. of yourself, where you say,

  558. I exist to make this person great in my life.

  559. To bring them closer to the Lord.

  560. To walk with them until they shine

  561. in the effulgence of the image of the sun.

  562. And I know that's gonna cost me.

  563. I know that there's gonna be wins on the way.

  564. That's covenant.

  565. You see, covenant relationships are where you forget

  566. about yourself because you're so for the sake

  567. of the other person and they're so for the sake of you

  568. that you have this mutual thing going

  569. where you're just serving one another.

  570. It's covenant, not contract all the way to the bottom.

  571. And so you might come to a marriage, let's say,

  572. and say something like this.

  573. All I ever wanted was for my spouse to make me happy.

  574. And if you're saying that in your heart,

  575. what you've done is subtly leaned in

  576. to thinking of the marriage as a contract.

  577. What I'm really here for is for this person

  578. to add the value of happiness to me.

  579. Or you might come and say, boy,

  580. if I could just find a boyfriend or girlfriend

  581. or a husband or wife, then I could be happy.

  582. And you've slowly in the bottom of your heart transferred

  583. what a covenant relationship is meant to be

  584. in a contractual mindset.

  585. That if I could get that one person,

  586. then finally I could be fulfilled.

  587. And what's happened in that is you've put a weight

  588. upon that person that they can never bear.

  589. You've made them in your mind,

  590. in the eyes of your heart, like God to you.

  591. Trying to be something that they can never be.

  592. I love what C.S. Lewis writes about this.

  593. He says when he was writing about after he got married

  594. to his wife, Joy Davidman, he says,

  595. when I have learned to love God,

  596. here's the key, here's the secret.

  597. When I've learned to love God better than my earthly dearest,

  598. I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now.

  599. Insofar as I learned to love my earthly dearest

  600. at the expense of God and instead of God,

  601. I shall be moving towards the state

  602. in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all.

  603. When first things are put first,

  604. second things are not suppressed, they're elevated.

  605. Love God and then love people.

  606. Love God, pursue the Lord,

  607. seek the covenant relationship you were made for

  608. with the Lord and like the rising tide lifts all ships,

  609. so your human relationships will be elevated.

  610. Let me ask you this question

  611. and we'll move to the final thing.

  612. Here's a measure of real health

  613. in your relationships in your life.

  614. Will you ask this question today of your own relationships?

  615. Do you have one great relationship in your life right now

  616. where you can have spiritual conversations about your faith,

  617. about your lack and struggle with faith,

  618. about your relationship to God,

  619. with someone else regularly

  620. that you're either married to or great friends with?

  621. Do you have somebody in your life

  622. that you can go have a real spiritual conversation regularly

  623. where they can come and they have permission

  624. to tell you the truth about who you really are

  625. and where you can tell them the truth

  626. about your prayer life, for example?

  627. Do you have a relationship like that?

  628. That's the measure of health.

  629. If you don't, you're not yet entering

  630. into the fullness of Christian community.

  631. So finally, what kind of relationships do we really need?

  632. And let's close with this.

  633. The last thing we're told in this passage

  634. is they were naked and not ashamed.

  635. So chapter two, verse 25,

  636. the man and his wife were naked and not ashamed.

  637. Now, certainly in context,

  638. this first refers to what we're told here

  639. is one flesh union between a man and a woman

  640. in covenant marriage.

  641. This certainly refers to the act and reality

  642. of sex and marriage, but it's also more than that.

  643. And when we broaden out,

  644. you can think about this to the lens of Genesis three.

  645. There's physical nakedness here,

  646. but there's also something more than that.

  647. There's something like spiritual nakedness.

  648. And we know that because in Genesis chapter three,

  649. after Adam and Eve's sin, God comes into the Garden of Eden

  650. and it says Adam and Eve before the Lord were naked

  651. and ashamed.

  652. And so this broadens out beyond just a relationship

  653. between covenant marriage partners.

  654. This is about something else as well,

  655. not just physical nakedness, but spiritual nakedness.

  656. It's a metaphor as well for the soul.

  657. And it tells us exactly what we need

  658. in our relationships in life.

  659. It's saying to us that every single one of us

  660. in ideal conditions are able to have spiritual,

  661. soul nakedness without shame with somebody else.

  662. Meaning, what does that mean?

  663. It means that we all need a relationship in our lives

  664. where we are truly known all the way to the bottom

  665. of our soul and loved anyway.

  666. Naked and not ashamed, known and deeply loved simultaneously.

  667. Every single one of us needs that in our lives.

  668. That's a covenant relationship to the bottom.

  669. Somebody that actually knows you,

  670. somebody that knows what's going on in the life

  671. of your soul and somebody that you're not ashamed

  672. to talk to about what's really going on in your life.

  673. Isolationism comes out in all sorts of forms.

  674. You can be married, but not have a soul, not be known,

  675. and therefore not be truly loved.

  676. You can have a friendship.

  677. How many of us, do we have friendships

  678. where there is no space within that friendship

  679. to actually know one another and therefore truly be loved?

  680. Do you have a friendship that's gone pretty stale

  681. over the years or a friendship where you do try

  682. to at times intentionally get together,

  683. but the conversation seems to go absolutely nowhere?

  684. No depth to it at all.

  685. Are you letting somebody else know you

  686. in order to love you, to really open up the soul before you?

  687. We need this because also we hide from ourselves.

  688. I've heard one pastor talk about this recently.

  689. He pointed out that every time you hear your own voice

  690. recorded, what do you do?

  691. Have you had this experience?

  692. You hear your own voice recorded,

  693. and then you turn to your friend and you say,

  694. that does not sound like me.

  695. And your friend says, that is exactly what you sound like.

  696. And you say, no, no, no, no way.

  697. That's not, as a preacher, I have to have this experience

  698. more often than most of you.

  699. You say, that sounds so bad.

  700. Is that what I sound like every week?

  701. And you say, your friend that is your spouse says,

  702. yeah, that is what you sound like.

  703. Look, the point, we don't know ourselves.

  704. You can be in a friend group where all of you know

  705. the most obvious vice of your one friend.

  706. And you just think, how can they not see it?

  707. How can they not see that they steer

  708. every conversation back to themselves?

  709. How can they not see my friend?

  710. How can they not see that they never actually listen?

  711. And what you realize when you say that about your friend

  712. is you are the friend.

  713. That is you, that is me.

  714. There are things about ourselves we can never know.

  715. And if we're gonna truly grow in this life,

  716. if we're gonna truly heal,

  717. we've got to have somebody else in our lives

  718. where we can be spiritually naked and not ashamed,

  719. or we can bear our soul and be told the truth

  720. about who we really are.

  721. Do you have a friend like that?

  722. Is your marriage like that?

  723. Are you stepping towards somebody?

  724. It can't be many people.

  725. It's not for the whole everybody in this room.

  726. It's one or two people in your life that are like that.

  727. What's stopping you?

  728. What are you afraid of?

  729. And I think it's this, all of us are afraid

  730. that if we allow somebody to truly know us,

  731. the depths of our soul, the secret things,

  732. the misdeeds dark, then we couldn't be loved.

  733. Now in John chapter 19 verse 23,

    John 19:23

  734. Jesus Christ, we are told as he went to the cross,

  735. he was stripped despite what the paintings

  736. in the middle ages offer us,

  737. Jesus Christ went to the cross naked.

  738. They stripped him of his clothes.

  739. And when he went to the cross naked,

  740. he hung there and that was, of course, public humiliation.

  741. Roman crucifixion brought such shame

  742. and public humiliation.

  743. But just like in Genesis chapter two and three,

  744. it is not just physical, it is also spiritual.

  745. Jesus Christ went to the cross naked

  746. because he bore in that moment the guilt and shame

  747. of our exposed souls.

  748. What did Adam and Eve need most

  749. at the beginning of history?

  750. They needed a relationship where they could be exposed,

  751. known and loved.

  752. And because, boy, we broke our relationship with God,

  753. we break our relationships with everybody else,

  754. Jesus Christ came in the middle of history

  755. and he was naked.

  756. He was exposed in his nakedness

  757. to the shame and guilt of our souls.

  758. He was exposed to the wrath and judgment of God the Father

  759. so that we would never have to be.

  760. You see, what are you afraid of

  761. when it comes to deep relationships in this life?

  762. Boy, if you can know today, listen,

  763. I pray that you can know today

  764. that the God of heaven and earth who made you,

  765. who sees you from top to bottom, knows everything about you.

  766. And so Jesus Christ came to hang on the cross

  767. in nakedness for your sake.

  768. He knows your soul and he loved you all the way

  769. to the point of death.

  770. That means that you don't have to hide.

  771. God knows you and God loves you anyway.

  772. God knows you and so Jesus was murdered for you

  773. so that you could be healed.

  774. Your relationships could be restored first with God

  775. and then with other people.

  776. Boy, will you come and have a renewed,

  777. restored, reconciled relationship

  778. with the living God today and with the people around you

  779. by pursuing them and self-sacrificial love

  780. like you've been pursued.

  781. What's stopping you?

  782. If you know God sees you and loves you to the bottom,

  783. he sees you to the bottom, he loves you to the sky,

  784. then you don't have to be afraid

  785. to have real relationships.

  786. Let us pray.

  787. Father, we come today as a people

  788. who are in desperate need to be known and loved

  789. and so we thank you, oh Christ,

  790. that you experienced the shame and the guilt

  791. of our exposed souls at the cross

  792. so that we may be covered, that we may be clothed,

  793. that we may be hidden forever in you

  794. and so we thank you for such great love as that

  795. and today we ask that we could through that love

  796. turn and show it to people in marriage, in friendship,

  797. in family life, in the church family, Lord,

  798. that we would seek covenant bonds

  799. and so we ask, Lord, today,

  800. help us get out of ourselves in some way,

  801. help us to seek healing in some small way

  802. and we pray for that heart in Christ's name.

  803. Amen.