Forgiving Yourself Does Not Work

For a moment, let's bow our heads in prayer.

Father, we ask that you would gently but powerfully pour out the Holy Spirit upon us this morning.

Father, once again, we ask that as you make us more aware of who Jesus is and what he did for us,

that, Father, gripped by that, more and more gripped by that,

you would help us to understand who we are, who each of us are,

and how it is that you desire to shape us and form us and prepare us, Father, for an eternity in the new heaven and the new earth.

And, Father, that is a work that only your Holy Spirit can do.

And so we ask that you would be the one who would do that wonderful work in our hearts and our minds this morning.

And we ask this in the name of Jesus, your Son and our Savior. Amen.

Please be seated.

So, you know, we've all had situations, and maybe we've been guilty of ourselves,

where, you know, we say to somebody, you know, go ahead and tell me what you really think.

Like, I won't be upset. Like, I won't be mad. I won't hold it against you.

And sometimes when people say that to us, they really mean it.

They will accept it. They will hear it.

They won't hold it against us.

But as we all know, sometimes that's not true.

We mistakenly or erroneously go ahead and tell them what we actually think about something or what we've done,

and they do hold against us.

A hundred million years ago, when I was...

In the old Diocese of Ottawa that I was part of, there was a discernment process,

a big process that you went through to discern whether or not you were called to be an Anglican minister,

an Anglican presbyter.

And sort of the culmination of that discernment on one level was going away for these two days, three days.

You'd go off to... We went to a motel, and there was, you know, people from a variety of all over the province.

And basically, from the time you arrived until lunchtime on Saturday, and you had to arrive on Thursday,

you were assessed by all of these different people.

But you also had specific times of assessment.

And in my specific time of assessment, the guy was... He was an Anglican minister, and he just was... It was just odd.

He kept asking me things like,

What do you feel good about?

I don't... Like, I don't know. How do you answer a question like that?

I don't know. Like, I feel good that it's sunny outside?

I don't know. I like...

You know, what do you feel bad about?

Like, what makes you happy? What makes you...

He's asking me all these vague questions.

And then he... And I'm sort of giving him some type of lame answer, probably.

Because, yeah, I mean, the fact of the matter is,

everybody at it, including me, are unbelievably tense, right?

You're under whatever that is, like 48 hours, not counting sleep,

of intensive scrutiny that helps to determine your future.

So, yeah, there's no stress here amongst me or any of the other people.

It was really dumb questions.

Anyway, finally, after about 10 minutes, he said to me,

Well, tell me, what is it you really don't like about the Anglican Church?

Well, I'm not going to answer that question.

And then he presses me and presses me and presses me.

And he kept saying, Listen, I'm not going to hold it against you.

I'm just curious. Like, you know, I'm just curious.

So, kid you not, at that time at a university that I was still connected with,

which will go nameless in case you can trace back who I'm referring to,

there was an Anglican minister who was a chaplain.

And I'd heard him speak several times.

And that Anglican minister didn't believe that Jesus had risen from the dead,

didn't believe in the incarnation or the virgin birth,

didn't believe most things in the New Testament actually happened.

Like, you just name any core doctrine.

He didn't even hide that he didn't believe it.

He boasted and tried to encourage everybody else to stop believing in these things.

So, I just said, You know, there's this Anglican minister there,

and he says all of these things.

And as far as I'm concerned, if he believes those things,

he shouldn't be an Anglican minister.

Well, that's when I discovered he was going to hold it against me,

and he was going to make a big deal of it.

And rather than assessing me for the next 30 minutes,

he gave me a 30-minute lecture about how maybe I was just not well-read enough.

Maybe this other minister is more spiritually and intellectually and academically advanced,

and on and on and on.

And then in my third assessment, it turned out that I had to answer the question.

I was narrow-minded and prejudiced because there were some concerns about it.

Now, just as an aside, how on earth did I pass that, you're wondering?

In those days, I had hair down to my belt and a beard,

and I think that's the only reason I passed.

Because they wanted younger people,

and I just didn't look like somebody would hold those views.

So, I think they gave me a pass,

and they probably have been regretting it ever since,

but that's a separate story.

But the problem is, as we all know,

that sometimes, you know, people say that,

they say they're not going to hold it against you,

they say certain things, but they just don't mean it.

They just don't mean what we say.

And this very, very, very sad text that we're looking at today,

and for some of these sermons I've been saying,

imagine that they were taking the Gospel of Mark,

and they were turning it into like a Netflix series,

or something like that,

or an Amazon Prime series,

or Crave, or whatever, HBO.

And, you know, every week there was a bit of an episode.

And this would be an episode that is just frankly sad.

It ends in sorrow.

It ends in almost inconsolable, heartbreaking sorrow.

And the question arises from the text,

it's like, why is it that there would be such a sad story?

Like, why would this be in the Bible?

Why would this be in the Gospel?

A story which is so sad,

a story about failure,

a story about guilt,

a story about doing wrong.

But it really enters into a very, very profound topic

in terms of whether or not,

well,

the older you are,

the more that you understand,

I think wise people understand,

that what we need is not,

we need justice always, of course.

I'm not denying that we need justice.

But more than justice,

we need forgiveness.

And is Jesus serious

when he talks about forgiveness?

Like, is the Bible serious about it?

Does it have some wise things to say

about one of the deepest needs

that human beings have,

which is a need for forgiveness?

So let's look.

If you have your Bibles,

it's Mark chapter 14,

Mark 14:66–72

verses 66 to 72.

And just in terms of,

you know,

if this was Netflix or Amazon Prime

or whatever,

there'd be a little recap at the beginning.

And rather than just pushing

the skip recap button,

just sort of just before that,

there's been lots of very sad things.

We're sort of almost halfway through

the 24 hours that changed the world.

It's all the first day of the Passover

because Jewish people at that time,

still actually,

the day begins at sunset

and ends the next sunset.

That's how the day works.

So there's 24 hours that changed the world.

Jesus has predicted to his disciples

and his other friends

he's going to be betrayed.

Judas has, in fact, betrayed him.

Jesus has been just throwing himself

on the ground in sorrow,

calling out to the Father

to answer a prayer with yes,

and the Father says no.

And Jesus is seized,

and Judas,

Jesus has just been through

a kangaroo court,

a show trial,

and at the end of it,

like on,

given that his life depends

upon how he answers it,

he goes in,

he gives the honest answer

that he is the Messiah,

he is God,

the Son of God,

and his enemies have got

what they need

to put him to death.

And so while that's going on,

this story happens.

Okay?

And here's how it begins,

verse 66.

And as Peter was below

in the courtyard,

one of the servant girls

of the high priest came

and seeing Peter warming himself,

she looked at him and said,

you also were with the Nazarene,

Jesus.

But he denied it,

saying,

I neither know nor understand

what you mean.

And he went out,

Peter went out into the gateway

and the rooster crowed.

Now just a couple of things

about this.

First of all,

it's very interesting.

We talked about this last week

to show that the whole,

that his enemies attacking Jesus

is the examination of Jesus

doesn't take place

in any official place

like where the Sanhedrin meets

or the official court,

but in a high priest's house

where there's guards

in the courtyard.

And here we see that

while Peter is speaking below,

Jesus, we now know,

is on the second floor.

That's where his enemies

are going after him

on the second floor

and Peter is outside below him.

And he has a,

Jesus is put down

by a servant girl.

You know, here it is.

Jesus, as we looked at last week,

you can go back

and read it later,

he makes,

in the presence of his enemies

on trial for his life,

he makes this momentous declaration

that he, in fact,

is the Messiah,

that he is, in fact,

God, the Son of God.

He actually confesses to this

in the presence of his enemies

in a capital trial

where he knows

they want to have him

put to death.

And while he's making

these momentous claims,

and if you're here

as a seeker

or you're not quite sure

what you think of,

that's,

we'll talk about that,

not necessarily today,

but why that's a good thing

to believe,

but later on,

we will talk about

why those,

why it is,

it's reasonable

to believe that,

and we'll say something

in a moment,

but while this is going on,

the woman has just

a casual put down

of Jesus,

the Nazarene Jesus.

Some of you have heard

me explain it before.

If I was to bring

somebody up front

and I was to introduce

the person as,

you know,

this is,

this is an Oxford guy,

Oxford gal,

or Cambridge,

MIT,

you know,

it's,

that's who this person is,

or if I was to say this,

you know,

John here is from

Apple headquarters,

you'd all go,

oh,

this person's a somebody,

you know,

this person here

has just come,

he's,

he or she is with

the Prime Minister's office,

the Chief of Staff,

they're here to address you,

I'm trying to impress you

with their credentials,

but Nazarene is

nowheresville,

it would be as if

and today,

if I was to invite

Steve up to speak

and said,

this is Steve

from Brudenell,

and Brudenell,

as I've said to you before,

if you look in a big

empty spot

of eastern Ontario

and you're trying to go

from one empty spot

to another empty spot,

you pass through Brudenell,

it's nowhereville,

and,

and so this is just

a casual put down

of Jesus,

the Nazarene,

the guy from nowhere,

the guy from

unimportantville,

like we're no,

like we're only

hicks live

and nothing is ever

of great value,

but then Peter

gives this really

weird answer,

look,

look at it again,

and by the way,

verse 68 says,

but he denied it,

saying,

I neither know

nor understand

what you mean,

although then he goes

out farther

from the light,

like farther off

into the darkness,

but here's the thing,

it's weird,

in the original language,

he says,

there are two separate

words for knowledge,

the first knowledge,

type of knowledge,

is theoretical

or abstract knowledge,

it's E equals MC squared

type of knowledge,

okay,

it's like going

to university

and taking a,

you know,

a theory of numbers,

or,

you know,

the theory,

the high level,

and the other one

is practical knowledge,

and this is just

like a weird answer,

like she just says,

hey,

you're with the

Nazarene Jesus,

and he said,

I neither have

the theoretical knowledge

or the practical knowledge

to understand

what that means,

like what?

Like privately,

she probably said to later,

there's this jerk

over there,

like he gave me

this really stupid answer,

and I bet that Peter

at the time

didn't think

he denied Jesus,

I thought,

I think he thought

he was being clever,

what exactly do you mean

by Jesus,

it's a common name,

like I,

you know,

what about Nazarene,

what does from mean,

like,

I don't know,

like it's just,

here,

if you could put up

the first point,

just a little

off the side point,

but important,

beware of using cleverness

to try and cover up

your unfaithfulness,

beware of using cleverness

to try to cover up

your unfaithfulness,

actually,

the book of common prayer

has a really,

if you use morning

and evening prayer,

it's called

dissembling and cloaking

your sin,

it's a beautiful phrase,

dissembling means

you try to confuse people

with what you've actually said

or you try to hide it

and that's what Peter's

trying to do

and I bet you actually

that at the time,

Peter probably thought

that he,

I didn't deny her,

he sort of got out of it

somehow with,

I mean,

the servant girl

probably thought

he was a jerk,

he probably thought

he hadn't denied it

because technically,

technically,

it might not sound like

to him that it's a denial,

but it was,

it was a denial.

In fact,

actually,

you'll notice

that the text nails it,

but he denied it

saying,

I neither know,

so that the text,

just one of the things

you need to know

about the text here,

which is really interesting

at this point,

so first of all,

how would anybody know

about this encounter

unless Peter told them

about it,

unless afterwards

Peter told them

what had happened

and that Peter

actually shared

with people

that I thought

I was being clever,

but I was really

just being a jerk

and I,

you know,

for that brief moment,

I thought I'd avoided it,

but in hindsight,

what it was

is actually,

it was a denial.

It's not just,

and one of the,

and one of the things

in particular

is that most modern scholars

and following

the testimony

of the early church

believe that Peter,

this is ultimately

Peter's gospel,

even though it has

Mark's name on it.

In other words,

that Mark wrote down

how Peter

remembered Jesus

and what Peter saw

and did with Jesus

and Mark wrote it down.

And,

and so it's very interesting

that not only

later on

for posterity

does Peter label it

a denial,

but as we'll see

in a moment,

by the end of the story,

Peter has had

a change of heart,

a deep sorrow

that he now understands

that this first thing

that he did

wasn't clever,

but was in fact

a denial.

We'll see that.

Look at verse,

look at verse 69.

And the servant girl

saw Peter

and he goes off

into the darkness.

She saw Peter

and began again

to say to the bystanders,

this man is,

is one of them.

But again,

Peter denied it.

And,

and actually

just sort of pause here.

You can't know this

unless you know

the original language,

but in the original language,

what it really is saying

is Peter

not just denied,

he didn't just say no,

he went on and on

and on and on

and on about it.

Right?

You know how sometimes,

so if one thing

what we try to do

sometimes to cover up

when we've been unfaithful,

we,

we think we're being clever

with fine distinctions

or something like that.

The other way that we do,

we try to get out of

taking responsibility

for a certain thing

or denying something

is we,

we talk a lot about it.

Right?

You know,

I'm not picking sides

in part,

but one of the things

politicians do

when somebody tries

to,

to pin them

on whether they've done

something,

they give a long

convoluted answer,

hoping that by the end

of the answer,

which isn't an answer,

you've forgotten

what you've asked.

Right?

And,

and so that's what Peter does.

He goes on and on

and on and on about it.

But it actually ends up

backfiring on him.

Look again at verse 70.

But again,

he denied it.

And after a little while,

the bystanders again said

to Peter,

certainly you're one of them,

for you are a Galilean.

In other words,

the more he talked,

his Galilean accent

came out.

His Galilean

isms

came out.

But he,

Peter,

began to invoke

a curse

on himself

and to swear,

I do not know

this man

of whom you speak.

Now,

just sort of

pause here for a second.

Some of you,

especially if you're looking

in your own Bibles,

you might see that

it's worded a little bit

differently.

Some of the,

the versions of the Bible

says,

he began to invoke

a curse on them

and,

and to swear.

So,

what's happening there,

it's,

one of the things

about this,

the language of the time,

in the original language,

you can't actually tell.

The way the words are,

it could mean either one.

It could either mean

that he

curses himself

or curses another person.

And it might even just be

that he did both,

by the way.

And I'll explain

what he means

when I,

what this is.

So,

here's what it is.

And we all,

maybe none of us do this.

Maybe we know people

who talk this way,

but it's definitely

a thing of books

and movies.

You know,

the first thing is,

he said,

may God,

in a sense,

okay,

just,

may God strike me dead.

I swear to you

on my mother's grave,

I'm telling you the truth.

That's invoking a curse

on himself

and taking an oath

that he's telling the truth.

Right?

The,

the other way is,

you know,

to be mad at the other person

and,

and just pardon my language

to say in a sense

to somebody who's challenging,

you know,

God damn you.

I swear,

I swear on my children's lives

when I'm telling you the truth.

And you can see that,

in a sense,

it might even be

that he did both

and it's just interesting

because,

you know,

nowadays when we,

you know,

we can type on the computer

and you just type

and type

and type

and type

and it just goes on forever.

But back then,

things to write on

were very precious

and expensive

and you just had

a certain number of words

that you could do

and that just one of the things

that in the original language

it could be

that he did both.

But it's more likely,

but people,

translators,

because of English,

you can't do it.

Translators have to figure out

which one's most likely

and it's probably more likely

that he's not trying

to intimidate people

because he's,

he's frightened

and so he does the first thing,

you know,

like,

you know,

God,

strike me dead.

You know,

may God curse me forever.

Strike me dead.

I swear on my mother's grave

or I swear by the temple

that I am telling you the truth.

I am telling you the truth.

I do not know this man

of whom you speak.

If you could put up

just the second point.

Some of you might be familiar

with the Bible

and in Matthew chapter 5,

Matthew 5 · chapter mention

Jesus warns us

against taking oaths

and that's because

it is far too common

to invoke a curse

or make an oath

to try and cover up wrongdoing.

Right?

Like,

if you see in a movie

somebody saying like that,

like,

I swear on my mother's grave

or whatever,

they're lying usually,

right?

When they say something like that,

it usually means they're lying

and they're trying

to get out of it

and it's not,

not that every time

it happens,

but often that's what happens.

You try to up everything,

you know,

to cover up the fact

that what you're doing

is shady at the best,

but often just downright despicable.

And it's a human problem

and Jesus nails it.

And actually,

you know,

by the way,

one of the arguments

for why this

is so trustworthy,

like,

like,

occasionally you'll come

across skeptics

who'll say,

you know,

that most of these things

in the New Testament,

like,

in these ancient eyewitness

biographies

aren't ancient eyewitness

biographies.

They were written much later

and they were sort of

written in secret

and they're really trying

to serve the power

of the church

and the church's agenda

or some community's agenda.

And one of the arguments

as to why that isn't true

is the fact that Peter

records

his

despicableness.

Like,

how does this serve

propping up the power

structures of the church

if in,

you know,

James and John

and Peter

all are shown

to be failures

and doubters

and deniers

and fleers

and cowards

and liars?

Like,

that's why the text

has the,

has the feel

and the shape

of integrity.

Because this isn't

something you'd make up

if you're trying to make

the Peter party

or the,

the more and more strong

and why everybody

should listen to him

by having Peter

make sure that it's

written down

just how,

how much of a sinner

he was and is.

Well,

remember I said

that it's very

interesting that

Peter has to be

the source of this

and the first denial

he might have at the time

thought it wasn't

really a denial

but now when we're

reading about it

it's nailed

that it's a denial.

Look how

we,

we see that

even in that time

that Peter understood

that what that first

instant was

was actually a denial.

Look at verse 72.

And immediately

the rooster

crowed a second time

and Peter remembered

how Jesus had said

to him

before the rooster

crows twice

you will deny me

three times

and Peter

broke down

and wept.

And in the original

language that broke down

that means broke down

like that means

that means

convulsive sobbing.

that means

hardly able to stand

sorrow.

Barely able to stand

heart-wrenching

sobs

of sorrow.

And it's really interesting

I, you know

it's really interesting

that

it's a rooster

it's a rooster

that serves

as the sign

because what is it

about roosters?

Roosters are an image

of strutting

pride.

And so

an image

of strutting

pride

is what brings

Peter

to understand

that he

has nothing

to be proud about

and break him down

in sobs.

So why such a sad

story in the Bible

in the gospel?

It's here I think

because

it's going to say

something to us

very profound

and important

about forgiveness

about patience

about prayer

and about personal

change.

Actually

it's interesting

and if

by the way

one of the people

that I talked to

yesterday

in the coffee shop

or here

shout out to you

you guys do

a great job

it's a wonderful

coffee shop

to go to

so a shout out

to you

if you're watching

one of the

baristas

asked me

as I'm getting

my refill

what I was going

to like

first of all

she said

anyway

she asked me

what I was going

to talk about

tomorrow

which is now

today

and

she said

asked me

if I was ready

yet

and I said

no

that's what

I'm working

on right now

and she said

what are you

going to talk

about

and I said

um

I didn't have

the deer in the

headlight moment

but I said

um

I'm going to

talk about

why forgiving

yourself

doesn't work

and in fact

only makes

things worse

and she goes

whoa

you talk about

things like that

like that

sounds deep

and then we

had this like

there's nobody

else

and then like

the four of

them

I have this

brief talk

a little bit

about why

it is

that self

forgiveness

doesn't work

so here

just

here's the

thing

we could all

think of

stories

in our own

lives

where we feel

bound by

guilt

where we've

done things

which are

terribly wrong

maybe at the

time we didn't

think they were

very wrong

but afterwards

we realized

just how wrong

they were

and

the feeling

of guilt

can be

very very

powerful

it can bind

us

and sometimes

even after a

person has

forgiven us

for the wrong

that they've

done

we've done

to them

we still feel

bound and

trapped by

that guilt

but often

in life

people don't

forgive us

and sometimes

as you know

even those

who don't

forgive us

they move

away or

they die

and they

died not

forgiving us

at all

and so

sometimes we

can be even

doubly bound

by it

we don't really

know where

to go

with our

guilt

and so

the culture

increasingly

what Canadian

culture

North American

culture

increasingly

recommends

you see it

in books

you see it

in movies

is that we

need to learn

to forgive

ourselves

and on one

hand it's a

very very

it's responding

to this

existential need

that not all

of us feel

all of the

time

everybody will

feel at some

point in time

in their life

and many

of us

can feel

it for

many years

and many

seasons of

our lives

this sense

of guilt

and with it

this sense

of shame

and a sense

of type

of powerlessness

in the face

of it

and it

sort of

beats us

up

it

takes the

oomph out

of our

sails

it makes

it hard

for us

to look

another

person

in the

eye

it makes

it hard

for us

to enter

into a

relationship

or a

friendship

it can

make it

hard for

us to

see other

people

it's very

isolating

and so in

response to

that our

culture does

the best

it can

it says

you need

to forgive

yourself

but here's

the problem

I use this

example with

them

imagine

this

you know

you

manage to

talk these

other three

into lending

you $5,000

and you

didn't tell

any of the

three of

them

that you

were doing

it to

all of

them

and then

after you

got the

$5,000

you left

and you

never came

back

you never

paid

them

and I

can tell

you for

each of

those three

young women

$5,000

is a lot

of money

I mean even

for some

of us

who have

a lot

of money

who could

write a

check

for $5,000

we'd be

pretty

upset

if somebody

stole $5,000

on us

and even

worse

if we

found out

that we

were just

one of

three

and that

in fact

it was

$15,000

and then

later on

in Facebook

or Instagram

like a year

or two

or three

years later

you see

their picture

and you

read this

little testimony

that they've

had in

Facebook

about how

they did

these wrong

things to

their three

friends

and it

involved

money

and it's

really

caused

this

person

grief

and

sadness

but

and then

they write

but now

I've forgiven

myself

and I said

you wouldn't

accept that

you say

you dirty

rat

what do you

mean

you forgave

yourself

like for

those of us

who've been

victims of

abuse

and then

you find

out later

two years

later

that the

person who

abused you

says I

now forgive

myself for

it

like what

that doesn't

make who

made who

died and

made you

God

how dare

you absolve

yourself

how dare

you forgive

yourself

you see

that just

doesn't work

it's it's a

type of

self flattery

and delusion

it's it's

taking

like to

forgive

yourself

it's actually

taking two

or three

more steps

into

narcissism

and the

more

narcissistic

and proud

and self

centered you

are the

more damage

you're going

to make

to others

in your

own life

but then

people might

say what

do you

do George

like there's

no hope

well no but

that's actually

what the

gospel is all

about

you see

because

what's

happening in

that moment

even when

there's the

two situations

because sometimes

we can be

overcome

with sorrow

and guilt

and feel bound

and all of that

when a person

has forgiven us

and sometimes

we feel that

when a person

hasn't forgiven us

and we don't

know where to

go to it

and what

this experience

is opening

the door to

is that in

the real

world

in the real

world

the world

of when we

walk out the

door of

streets and

cars and

sunsets and

bank balances

and math

and in the

real world

you have been

created by

God

and God

still exists

and God

has made you

for himself

and your heart

is restless

until it rests

in him

and every

offense against

another person

is also an

offense against

God

there's this

really wonderful

thing I think

it's in Acts 9

where Paul

before he

becomes a

Christian

has been

persecuting

Christians

and Jesus

appears to

him

and Jesus

says to

him

why have

you been

persecuting

me

because every

act of

violence and

abuse against

another person

is also an

act of abuse

against God

and so on

one hand

what we're

longing for

is to know

God

is to know

that our

creator has

forgiven us

and has

forgiven us

in a way

that is

just

that it's

not just

forgetting

it's not

just giving

me a pass

that it's

an actual

absorbing

into himself

the consequences

of what I've

done

there's that

there must be

some way

that God

can forgive

me

if you could

put up the

point

it's very

interesting

that Peter

probably calls

down a curse

upon himself

and here's

the gospel

the curse

that you

deserved

fell on

him

and the

blessing

he deserved

he put

on you

and in

you

the curse

that I

deserved

fell on

Jesus

and the

blessing

he deserved

in fact

he is

blessing

he put

on me

and in

me

when I

come to

him

and acknowledge

my guilt

and my

separation

from him

and my

inability

to save

myself

and I

call out

to him

for mercy

and grace

that Jesus

would have

mercy on

me

and Jesus

hears that

prayer

and he

has mercy

on me

and in

that moment

as I

call out

to him

for mercy

then what

happened on

the cross

2000 years

ago

is applied

to me

and in

the Bible

the Bible

is very wise

if you trace

through blessings

and curses

and in a

sense

a blessing

and a curse

are opposite

a blessing

when we

bless something

we're asking

that they

will be

fulfilled

that it

will be

fulfilled

that they'll

be fulfilled

that not

just that

they'll be

fulfilled

but that

there's a

telos

an end

to their

life

a good

end to

their life

a meaning

to their

life

a purpose

to their

life

a place

in God's

universe

and with

God

and we're

asking that

they would

be fulfilled

that they

would come

to that

final resting

place

and move

towards

that end

that they

would thrive

that they

would connect

to creation

and to

God himself

that there

would be

restored

relationships

with God

and with

others

and that

they in a

sense would

walk in

beauty

and that

beauty would

characterize

their life

and what

is a curse

a curse

is that

you will

not find

fulfillment

but that

you will

find

frustration

that you

will not

find that

end and

purpose for

which you

were made

but that

you would

be lost

from it

that you

will not

thrive

in terms

of your

end

but that

you will

wither

it will

not be

that you

connect

with

God

and his

creation

but that

you will

be alienated

further

alienated

it is not

that you

enter into

relationship

but that

you become

more lonely

and it's

not that

you walk

in beauty

but that

you are

bound

by boring

ugliness

and that's

what we

wish

when we

say

you know

that

person

they said

they forgave

themselves

and this

is the wrong

thing they

did for me

and this

is what

I hope

I hope

they wither

I hope

everybody

knows how

bad they

are

I hope

that God

and others

have nothing

to do

with them

I hope

that their

life will

be completely

and utterly

miserable

that's what

we do

we curse

and the

wonder of

the gospel

is the

curse that

I deserved

fell on

him

and that's

why he

died on

the cross

and the

blessing that

he is

is offered

to me

and it's

offered to

you

we receive

it by

faith

and as

as you

can see

with this

image of

the curse

and the

blessing

it's

deep

we desire

a deep

disorder

in those

who've done

wrong

and we

desire for

ourselves

a deep

blessing

and that's

what we

see is

happening

in the

cross

if you

could put

up the

next point

it is

real and

true

he does

not weigh

your merits

he pardons

your offenses

we see that

actually in the

text not just

in this story

you don't have

if you have

your it's not

going to be on

the screen

because I

forgot to

ask Claire

to put it

on the

screen

but if

you back

when Jesus

in Mark

Mark 14:48

chapter 14

verse 48

Mark

chapter

four

sorry 28

Mark

Mark 14:28

chapter 14

verse 28

when Jesus

has predicted

that they're

all going to

flee and

leave him

alone

he says

this is

before the

cross

he knows

what he's

going to

do on

the cross

he knows

they're

going to

all mess

up and

all deny

him and

all flee

from him

but in

verse 28

he has

this promise

for them

but after

I am

raised up

in other

words after

I have

died on

the cross

all alone

I will

be raised

up and

I will

go before

you to

Galilee

in other

words I'm

looking forward

to seeing

you there

and in

Mark

Mark 16:7

chapter

16

verse 7

after Jesus

has died

and the

grave is

empty and

he's risen

from the

dead

Jesus

says

or that

the message

comes

but go

tell his

disciples

and

Peter

and

Peter

that he

it's the

angel says

go tell

the disciples

and Peter

Jesus

is going

to Galilee

and he

doesn't say

that so

that Peter

can stay

away from

Galilee

but so

that Peter

can go

to Galilee

and see

Jesus

curse that I

deserve fell

on him

the curse

that Peter

deserved

fell on

him

the blessing

that Peter

did not

deserve

the blessing

that Jesus

deserved

as a gift

of grace

is offered

to Peter

just a

couple of

moments

so why

is it by

the way

why is

there such

a sad

oh yeah

one other

thing

do you know

how

strong

tradition

says that

Peter died

Peter died

depending on

how you date